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Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"

Saniflush

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Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« on: December 21, 2010, 07:07:13 AM »
http://www2.oanow.com/sports/2010/dec/20/malzahns-football-switch-never-goes-ar-1247359/

Quote
As the rest of the Auburn football team was enjoying a day at the water park, away from the intensity of two-a-days before the season, offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn was working.

He stalked from ride to ride, scouting, surveying, probing with questions.

And he wasn’t looking for the shortest line.

“He was just going around on the rides talking to people about football, picking people out and telling them what they did wrong on this or what they did wrong on that and how to get better,” tight end Philip Lutzenkirchen said. “He’s definitely an interesting personality where he is just always on his business.”

For now, that “business” has entirely to do with trying to outscheme Oregon in the national championship game.

A week ago, when news reports had him all but out the door to Vanderbilt, that wasn’t the case.

But with a lucrative new contract in place, the biggest game of his career coming up and his most worthy opponent to date on deck, Malzahn can get back into that whole “single-minded focus” thing he does so well.

“I like being on the field,” Malzahn said. “That’s what I like.”

He’s been called the “Harry Potter” of offensive coordinators, the guy who’s “football mind doesn’t have an off switch.”

A “genius” who literally wrote the book on his record-breaking offense.

“Coach Malzahn has set the bar very high for this team on the offensive side of the ball. He expects us to do great things,” quarterback Cam Newton said. “He doesn’t let us shy away from us getting the job done. He expects a lot from us as a whole offense. Every single day he reminds us of that.”

Auburn’s gained enough yards to go down the length of a football field about 121 times in Malzahn’s two years in charge.

The Tigers have scored on 90.2 percent of the times they’ve reached the red zone, averaged 6.8 yards per play and gotten a first down once every three plays.

Malzahn’s offenses have made the outstanding seem mundane.

“Every week he gets us ready to see everything we can see from the defense,” running back Mike Dyer said. “He makes sure that we know everything that’s going to go on, what’s going to happen and which quarter. He just has a genius way about him.

“He’s just one of those guys who knows everything when it’s about to happen. Before it does, he tells us exactly what’s going to happen, and we’ll go out there and see the exact same thing he’s talking about.”

It’s these sorts of things that made Auburn want to up Malzahn’s yearly compensation to a reported $1.3 million, making him one of the highest-paid assistants in the country.

And it’s his mind, creativity and ridiculous attention to detail that allows the university to feel like he’s earning every penny of his new deal.

The word “perfectionist” comes to mind.

“I think he’s going to be a little harder on himself than normal coaches. I think he’s been that way through his whole lifetime,” Dyer said. “I’ve seen him getting upset about a marker not working because he needed a marker so he could draw a play up. It’s just little things that you’ll be like shocked, because it’s easy to get another marker. But he wanted that marker.

“He’s a great guy. We just love him, because he cares about us and about the game.”

Only with Malzahn does a day at the water park turn into another teaching session.

“He’s kind of 24-7 football. He just is always thinking about football and what we can do to get better,” Lutzenkirchen said.

“He’ll crack a joke every now and then. It might not be funny, but he’ll try.”
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

The Prowler

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2010, 07:24:26 AM »
The Rainman of College Football.
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

wesfau2

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2010, 08:14:50 AM »
David Pollack wept.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

boartitz

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2010, 09:27:57 AM »
The Rainman of College Football.
Bad analogy.
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djsimp

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2010, 09:33:00 AM »
Quote
The Tigers have scored on 90.2 percent of the times they’ve reached the red zone, averaged 6.8 yards per play and gotten a first down once every three plays.

That is just plain crazy sick.
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AWK

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #5 on: December 21, 2010, 01:35:18 PM »
You old sailor, you Malzahn.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

The Prowler

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #6 on: December 21, 2010, 03:14:08 PM »
Maybe something fast? Like a cheetah?

“It makes no difference.”
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

The Prowler

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2010, 03:20:38 PM »
Bad analogy.
Actually....No.  Perfect analogy.

Savant Syndrome -
All people with savant syndrome have an amazing memory
that is very focused in one area.
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Lurking Tiger

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2010, 05:01:38 PM »
David Pollack wept.

That's jizz on his face, not tears.

Well, maybe a little of both. I heard he cries during sex.
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boartitz

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2010, 05:35:18 PM »
Actually....No.  Perfect analogy.

Savant Syndrome -
All people with savant syndrome have an amazing memory
that is very focused in one area.
No. Bad analogy. Rainman was an idiot savant.
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The Prowler

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2010, 06:35:04 PM »
No. Bad analogy. Rainman was an idiot savant.
I'm talking more about his Knowledge Quotient than his IQ.  You know Albert Einstein was a Savant too.  His "KQ" was lower than Rain Man's.
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

wesfau2

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2010, 10:18:53 PM »
I'm talking more about his Knowledge Quotient than his IQ.  You know Albert Einstein was a Savant too.  His "KQ" was lower than Rain Man's.

You know that Ray "Rain Man" Babbitt was a fictional character lacking any attributes that can be compared to a living breathing human being, right?
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

The Prowler

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #12 on: December 22, 2010, 12:43:32 AM »
You know that Ray "Rain Man" Babbitt was a fictional character lacking any attributes that can be compared to a living breathing human being, right?
You know that Rain Man was based off of an actual living, breathing, human being, right?
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

boartitz

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #13 on: December 22, 2010, 08:24:01 AM »
You know that Rain Man was based off of an actual living, breathing, human being, right?
So was Sherlock Holmes. No shit.
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GH2001

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #14 on: December 22, 2010, 09:14:38 AM »
So was Sherlock Holmes. No shit.

So was Forrest Gump.....he played for teh bahr.
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WDE

AUChizad

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #15 on: December 22, 2010, 09:28:05 AM »
Still a bad analogy.

You should have compared him to Kim Peek, and everyone would have known what you were talking about.

These intarwebz are serious business.
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The Prowler

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #16 on: December 22, 2010, 01:59:46 PM »
Still a bad analogy.

You should have compared him to Kim Peek, and everyone would have known what you were talking about.

These intarwebz are serious business.
Kim "The Real Rain Man" Peak.  The character in Rain Man was based off him.  If I would've compared him to Kim Peek, it would've been the same as saying that he's Rain Man, plus not that many people on this board would've known who Kim Peek was....apparently
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Saniflush

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2010, 02:04:11 PM »
Kim "The Real Rain Man" Peak.  The character in Rain Man was based off him.  If I would've compared him to Kim Peek, it would've been the same as saying that he's Rain Man, plus not that many people on this board would've known who Kim Peek was....apparently

Still gotta say the analogy is wrong. 

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

The Prowler

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Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2010, 02:13:01 PM »
Nope.  Gus "Rain Man" Malzahn!!!!!
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Re: Malzahn's "Motor Never Stops"
« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2010, 02:21:41 PM »
Still gotta say the analogy is wrong.

That's the way I would characterize it.

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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.