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Conversation With A Bamminator

Snaggletiger

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Conversation With A Bamminator
« on: December 03, 2010, 02:51:07 PM »
Got off the phone a few minutes ago with a "friend" who is an avid Bammie and who I believe actually passed through Tuscaloosa one time several years back. 

Me: What's up?

Mullet: Go Cocks

Me: Yeah whatever

Mullet: I heard one of them bettin' gurus on the radio this morning and he says flat out South Carolina will win this game.  Has em' favored by like 1 or somethin'.

Me: That's fine.  We've been the sexy upset pick in every single game this year all the way back to MSU. Nothing to see here, move along.

Mullet: Yeah but USCe had ya'll whooped in the first game.  If they hadn't turned the ball over...

Me:  You remember how they scored their first 20 points, right?  Off our turnovers on our own side of the field.  Look, the gurus and experts can say what they want, this team has proven they can overcome just about anything.

Mullet: Well if ya'll didn't have Cam, you wouldn't be shit.

Me:  Sooo....you want me to apologize, or what?

Mullet: Well this guy on the radio says the Cocks are gonna take it straight up.

Me:  Straight up the ass.  How many points was Bama favored by, 4?  5?

Mullet:  Hell ya'll didn't win but by 1.

Me:  And your point is?

Mullet: Point is, ya'll are goin' down this weekend

Me: That may be but at least we're playing this weekend.  Will you be watching on TV?

Mullet: I watched it last year along with the national championship game when Bama stomped a mud hole in the Longhorns.  What's Allbarn ever done?

Me:  You just can't help yourself can you? I forgot what I called for.  You stay classy and I'll catch you next week.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUChizad

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2010, 02:57:48 PM »
How many points was Bama favored by, 4?  5?

Mullet:  Hell ya'll didn't win but by 1.
Chortle.

Bammers and math...
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2010, 03:02:24 PM »
Chortle.

Bammers and math...

There was definitely a long pause on my part after that one.  I...I...what?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

ssgaufan

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2010, 03:11:55 PM »
I had a bammer come in my office this morning and this was his thoughts on the game.  "Saban just wanted to show ya'll that we could beat the shit out of you, then he backed off and let ya'll win cause he wants the SEC to win another MNC."  He was as serious as he could be about that statement.  What a dumbass.
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Saniflush

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2010, 03:21:39 PM »
I had a bammer come in my office this morning and this was his thoughts on the game.  "Saban just wanted to show ya'll that we could beat the shit out of you, then he backed off and let ya'll win cause he wants the SEC to win another MNC."  He was as serious as he could be about that statement.  What a dumbass.

Lord Sabenz has shown us his benevolence.  All hail Lord Sabenz a just and worthy sire.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2010, 03:53:04 PM »
Lord Sabenz has shown us his benevolence.  All hail Lord Sabenz a just and worthy sire.

He had proven his point.  Auburn was not a worthy opponent and he tired of toying with such trivial things.  Hmmm...Lord Saybinz vs. Oprah.  Lord Saybinz vs. Hugo Chavez.  Now those are worhty opponents.  Set that shit up CBS.

.02 to LOL Cats 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUTiger1

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2010, 04:00:50 PM »
Yesterday, one obnoxious bammie, whom I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks, happens to walk by in the hallway.  I asked him how it was going and his words "fuck you man, I don't even want to talk to you".

Today at lunch, one of the bammies, "If I had a USCe shirt, I would be wearing it today"  acted like I wasn't paying attention.  Someone said something, me and another co-worker were actually talking NFL (He's from Boston, so what do you expect) and I hear something about paying players.  At this moment, I turn around in mid convo and say "do you really think that bammers need to lecture another school on paying players, really Albert Means?  Go ahead and lecture us." 

They are everywhere and hard to avoid. 
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

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Snaggletiger

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2010, 04:35:22 PM »
Oh my gawd, you can't escape the grapes.  The sour grapes are everywhere.  Got out of my appointment and called the insurance company...in B'ham.  Casually said I'm trying to get out of here and head to Atlanta for the game.  Have no clue who this person is or if they're a fan of women's equestrian humping or what.  Just making conversation.  Took all of 45 seconds to hear, "If Auburn didn't have Cam they wouldn't be in Atlanta."

And if the Colts didn't have Peyton.  If the Patriots didn't have Brady.  If the Cardinals didn't have Albert.  If I didn't have such a huge....well you get the idea.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AWK

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2010, 04:38:03 PM »
Oh my gawd, you can't escape the grapes.  The sour grapes are everywhere.  Got out of my appointment and called the insurance company...in B'ham.  Casually said I'm trying to get out of here and head to Atlanta for the game.  Have no clue who this person is or if they're a fan of women's equestrian humping or what.  Just making conversation.  Took all of 45 seconds to hear, "If Auburn didn't have Cam they wouldn't be in Atlanta."

And if the Colts didn't have Peyton.  If the Patriots didn't have Brady.  If the Cardinals didn't have Albert.  If I didn't have such a huge vagina....well you get the idea.
Fixxored.
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2010, 04:42:20 PM »
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AWK

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2010, 04:43:11 PM »
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Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall said, "Guys don't mind hitting Michael Vick in the open field, but when you see Cam, you have to think about how you're going to tackle him. He's like a big tight end coming at you."

No Huddle

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2010, 05:51:08 PM »
Sounds a lot like this board last year. I think this board changed its name to gatorsx. Good luck tomorrow.
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"So I want everybody to think here for a second, how much does this game mean to you? 'Cause if it means something to you, you can't stand still. You understand? You play fast! You play strong! You go out there and dominate the man you're playing against, and you make his ass quit! That's our trademark! That's our M.O.... as a team! That's what people know us as!" ~ Nick Saban

War Eagle!!!

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2010, 06:09:12 PM »
Sounds a lot like this board last year. I think this board changed its name to gatorsx. Good luck tomorrow.

2 shay
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The Prowler

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2010, 07:11:47 PM »
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

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RWS

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2010, 08:15:31 PM »
Chortle.

Bammers and math...
God, please don't give us another lesson on fractions, o wise math sage.
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boartitz

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2010, 08:26:54 PM »
God, please don't give us another lesson on fractions, o wise math sage.
Them gazintas scarred yall for life. You'll never be a double naught spy now.
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Token

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2010, 08:30:12 PM »
Incest in the Ozarks. Go figure.
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djsimp

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2010, 08:53:54 PM »
Incest in the Ozarks. Go figure.

I guess this is why the bammers love the Wal-Marks so much.
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Tiger Wench

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #18 on: December 04, 2010, 12:01:09 AM »
So here's my contribution, courtesy of FB and the hometown asshole I have known since 5th grade that is most responsible for making me hate bammer as much as I do:

Wench:  To all the inbred mouthbreathers who keep calling in to Finebaum and asking him if there is still some way bammer can go to the BCSCG: the answer is yes, they can. Via Southwest, Delta or American.

Rob Spivey Jen- not heard anyone call in and ask that.You don't have to be such a venom- spewing b****. Congrats on your season. Enjoy this while you Cam. Fifty- three years is a long time between chances to play for a national title. HaHa.  Seriously-... enjoy it. It fades fast. (note, the *** are his... he probably couldn't spell bitch)

Wench:  Rob - I actually heard one of those calls myself. ACTUALLY HEARD IT MYSELF. I can stream WJOX over the internet at work, and yeah, the guy actually said it. Venom spewing bitch? Really? For making a joke. Wow... thin skin still, after all these years. I told you once that the churlish behavior of bammer fans like you was one of the reasons I am such a passionate Auburn fan. I guess being in TX all these years made me forget how bad y'all can be... so thanks for the reminder. So here's your "venom" - the only thing better than beating bammer at Jordan-Hare West was beating bammer like THAT. Hope that memory stays with your "fanbase" forever - I know I will never forget it. War Damn Eagle.
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GH2001

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Re: Conversation With A Bamminator
« Reply #19 on: December 04, 2010, 11:43:10 AM »
So here's my contribution, courtesy of FB and the hometown asshole I have known since 5th grade that is most responsible for making me hate bammer as much as I do:

Wench:  To all the inbred mouthbreathers who keep calling in to Finebaum and asking him if there is still some way bammer can go to the BCSCG: the answer is yes, they can. Via Southwest, Delta or American.

Rob Spivey Jen- not heard anyone call in and ask that.You don't have to be such a venom- spewing b****. Congrats on your season. Enjoy this while you Cam. Fifty- three years is a long time between chances to play for a national title. HaHa.  Seriously-... enjoy it. It fades fast. (note, the *** are his... he probably couldn't spell bitch)

Wench:  Rob - I actually heard one of those calls myself. ACTUALLY HEARD IT MYSELF. I can stream WJOX over the internet at work, and yeah, the guy actually said it. Venom spewing bitch? Really? For making a joke. Wow... thin skin still, after all these years. I told you once that the churlish behavior of bammer fans like you was one of the reasons I am such a passionate Auburn fan. I guess being in TX all these years made me forget how bad y'all can be... so thanks for the reminder. So here's your "venom" - the only thing better than beating bammer at Jordan-Hare West was beating bammer like THAT. Hope that memory stays with your "fanbase" forever - I know I will never forget it. War Damn Eagle.

You complete me....<3
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