Differences between men and women

[AWK]

Here's a prime example of 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix . 


The professor told his class one day,

  'Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process

  is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her

  immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first

  paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and

  send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then

  add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another

  copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on

  back-and-forth.  Remember to re-read what has been written each time in

  order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking

  outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the

  e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.'



  The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

  Rebecca and Gary.



  -------------------------------------------



  THE STORY



  (first paragraph by Rebecca)



  At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile,

  which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too

  much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But

  she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His

  possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her

  asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.



   


  (second paragraph by Gary

  )



  Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in

  orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the

  neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had


  spent one sweaty night over a year ago. 'A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,' he

  said into his transgalactic communicator. 'Polar orbit established. No sign

  of resistance so far...' But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam

  flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The

  jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the

  cockpit.



   


  (Rebecca)



  He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one

  last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever

  had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless

  hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. 'Congress Passes Law Permanently

  Abolishing War and Space Travel,' Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.

  The news simultaneously excited her and bored her.  She stared out the

  window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and

  carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her

  sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.  'Why

  must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?' she wondered wistfully..



   


  ( Gary )



  Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of

  miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its

  lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the


  Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a

  defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to

  destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty


  the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to

  pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated

  their diabolical plan.. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere

  unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on

  the ocean floor off the coast of Guam , felt

  the


  inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.





  (Rebecca)



  This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing

  partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.



   



  ( Gary )



  Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose

  attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. 'Oh, shall I have

  chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, what

  am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele

  novels!'



   



  (Rebecca)





  Asshole!



   



  ( Gary )



  Bitch!



   



  (Rebecca)



  F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!



   



  ( Gary )



  Go drink some tea - whore.



   



  (TEACHER)



   


  A+      I really liked this one.