Help a sista out

[Pell City Tiger]

Jen stated in another thread that she was in charge of getting together her homeowners association blog. In the spirit of the "What would you say if you were an advice columnist" thread, I thought it would be fun to help her out.

Let's see what we can come up with to get the neighbors talking - or get her and Carl kicked out of the neighborhood.

Two sentences, a paragraph, or a whole page; let's get the creativity going. Any of you that have been part of one of these associations know the kind of petty shit some of the neighbors can complain about. Let's have some fun.

[Pell City Tiger]

Jen, feed us some topic material to get started.

[boartitz]

Jen, feed us some topic material to get started.

If she posts a link, get the U-Haul fired up.

[boartitz]

http://boldvoices.tv/

Here is a place for some discussion. Channel 3 is a frien of mine. They are usually online in the evenings.
Tell 'em boartitz/Goober sez hey. Good folks. They are Ron Paul/ Libertarian friendly.

[boartitz]

http://boldvoices.tv/

Here is a place for some discussion. Channel 3 is a frien of mine. They are usually online in the evenings.
Tell 'em boartitz/Goober sez hey. Good folks. They are Ron Paul/ Libertarian friendly.

They're live now. Check them out.

[Ranger12]

I've never had the joy of owning a house in a homeowners association, but the friend of mine I lived with in Northport for a few months did. After that experience, I make sure to never live in one again. Fortunately there are not too many of those around the Decatur area.

Landscaping Rule #1: All flowers must be placed in the order that the appear in the color of the rainbow. Please refer to the official guide for proper color coordination.

[boartitz]

I've never had the joy of owning a house in a homeowners association, but the friend of mine I lived with in Northport for a few months did. After that experience, I make sure to never live in one again. Fortunately there are not too many of those around the Decatur area.

Landscaping Rule #1: All flowers must be placed in the order that the appear in the color of the rainbow. Please refer to the official guide for proper color coordination.

I'm glad I live way out in the sticks.
Piss in the yard, shoot my guns. let my dogs run free and build whatever I like without submitting plans to a council.

[Tiger Wench]

What a funny idea, Glenn.  And since i am not only the blog admin, but also the new HOA president, I will be sure and insert your new rule into the deed restrictions, Craig!!

Here's some food for thought.

We have a fat ass old biddy who drives around in her conversion van looking for shit to complain about, while her husband, who looks eleventy months pregnant and is named, of all things, Titus (seriously) stands around in their front yard every day after work, with a frozen mug in his hand, wearing a pair of sweat pant and an unbuttoned dress shirt.  It is one of the scariest things I have ever seen.

We had a huge house in the neighborhood that was for sale forever, and all the bitches complained because it was empty.  Well, be careful what you wish for - a whole boatload (literally) of Vietnamese bought it a few months ago.  Now the bitches complain because there are fifty mamasans living there with their screaming pimp daddy nail salon managers and they are all at home every Monday (most all salons in Texas are closed on Monday to compensate for being open on Saturday.)  I love karma.

[Tiger Wench]

I'm glad I live way out in the sticks.

You live in Arkansas - isn't that a given?   

[Ranger12]

All I can say for you Jenny is....

So, are you gonna be the HOA president that tells everybody to quit bitching and whining about every little thing or is the whip going to come out often?

I live out in a rural area again, on the land that my family owns. I love doing what I want to without needing a HOA or city permission to do it. Heck, I don't even have to mow my grass if I don't want too. I actually just did a little "mowing" with some Roundup earlier today.

[Tiger Wench]

All I can say for you Jenny is....

So, are you gonna be the HOA president that tells everybody to quit bitching and whining about every little thing or is the whip going to come out often?

My new neighborhood motto is STFU and stay in your own fucking yard.

[Kaos]

My new neighborhood motto is STFU and stay in your own fucking yard.

I should send you a copy of our bylaws.  They're like 50 pages of stuff. 

I don't mind it, really, though.  It keeps the neighborhood from looking (slur-deleted)ed up. 

You can't have giant yard flags. The mulch in the flower beds has to be the right color. Can't paint the exterior of your house or put new siding up without getting the color approved -- no pink or blue houses. You can't put a shed or other out-building on your property without filing a draft, getting approval from the HOA and then having all neighbors sign off on it.  Kept the guy who lives behind me from putting a giant Derksen building against my fence.  Everybody else was okay, but I vetoed it.  Don't want to look out my window and see the back of his damn shed blocking my view. 

I like having the standards. 

[boartitz]

I should send you a copy of our bylaws.  They're like 50 pages of stuff. 

I don't mind it, really, though.  It keeps the neighborhood from looking (slur-deleted)ed up. 

You can't have giant yard flags. The mulch in the flower beds has to be the right color. Can't paint the exterior of your house or put new siding up without getting the color approved -- no pink or blue houses. You can't put a shed or other out-building on your property without filing a draft, getting approval from the HOA and then having all neighbors sign off on it.  Kept the guy who lives behind me from putting a giant Derksen building against my fence.  Everybody else was okay, but I vetoed it.  Don't want to look out my window and see the back of his damn shed blocking my view. 

I like having the standards. 

You need to meet this guy. Perfectly legal.

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/general-discussion/107618-naughty-neighbor-window-shaped-like-middle-finger.html

[wesfau2]

no pink ...houses.

You make the Cougar angry.