No, I had a car that was so bad....

[Snaggletiger]

Let's face it, we've all owned some a fucked up ride at one point or another.  Some piece of shit you just couldn't count the damn days fast enough until you could trade that mo fo in and save yourself some serious point and laugh.  Mine:

17th birthday.  Dad decides he's gonna' do something kick ass for his son.  He's going to surprise him with...a new car.  He comes in all proud and asks me to walk out to the driveway with him.  I know immediately what's going on. I have got my own wheels outside in that driveway.  Holy crap, my pops has sprung for a car.  I burst through the door to see....

A baby blue Chevy Chevette. (No air)

What....the....fucking....fuck?

 I was stunned to say the least, but had to act like it was the greatest thing in the world.  My dad was like the father on "A Christmas Story" when the leg lamp arrived.  I was like Ralphie when the teacher put a D on my paper and said "You'll shoot your eye out."

Anyway, the car had a problem with the cellanoid (sp?) on the starter.  So, about every third time I'd try to crank it...nothing.  I carried a big screwdriver under the seat so every time it did that, I popped the hood, jumped out with my trusty screwdriver and touched off a spark on the cellanoid and it cranked right up.  By the way, this only happened when I had a date.

Soooo...baby, where you wanna' go? (Turn key...nothing...big smile...I'll be right back baby)  Pop hood, grab screwdriver, jump out, fiddle around under hood, engine turns over, jump back in car, throw screwdriver under seat) So baby, like I was sayin'...

I know none of you have driven fucked up rides...right?

[Jumbo]

Let's face it, we've all owned some a fucked up ride at one point or another.  Some piece of shit you just couldn't count the damn days fast enough until you could trade that mo fo in and save yourself some serious point and laugh.  Mine:

17th birthday.  Dad decides he's gonna' do something kick ass for his son.  He's going to surprise him with...a new car.  He comes in all proud and asks me to walk out to the driveway with him.  I know immediately what's going on. I have got my own wheels outside in that driveway.  Holy crap, my pops has sprung for a car.  I burst through the door to see....

A baby blue Chevy Chevette. (No air)

What....the....fucking....fuck?

 I was stunned to say the least, but had to act like it was the greatest thing in the world.  My dad was like the father on "A Christmas Story" when the leg lamp arrived.  I was like Ralphie when the teacher put a D on my paper and said "You'll shoot your eye out."

Anyway, the car had a problem with the cellanoid (sp?) on the starter.  So, about every third time I'd try to crank it...nothing.  I carried a big screwdriver under the seat so every time it did that, I popped the hood, jumped out with my trusty screwdriver and touched off a spark on the cellanoid and it cranked right up.  By the way, this only happened when I had a date.

Soooo...baby, where you wanna' go? (Turn key...nothing...big smile...I'll be right back baby)  Pop hood, grab screwdriver, jump out, fiddle around under hood, engine turns over, jump back in car, throw screwdriver under seat) So baby, like I was sayin'...

I know none of you have driven fucked up rides...right?

My first vehicle was a 1954 chevy truck, Purple with Green on the bottom, with Gold rims! It was a three speed (3 in the tree) and the linkage would get stuck trying to go from first to second, most of the time in front of the school! I would have to get out pop the hood and pull the linkage apart so it would go in gear. After awhile of getting stuck it would only shift from 2nd to 3rd, not a big deal except it was a 5000lb truck with a in-line 6 pushing 100 horsepower. Two people could push against the truck and it would not takeoff. Thats not the worst, the truck didn't have a Radio, Air-Conditioning, Heater or Windshield wipers. Did I mention it smoked like Snoop dogg in Amsterdam? I almost forgot the driver-passenger windows fell into the door so I had to put garbage bags on them when It rained.

[ssgaufan]

68 Mustang.  I loved the car, but he got it cheap and it needed a lot of work.  The windows had to be wedged up with screwdrivers, and the heater didn't work.  I wrecked it before I could get the money up to fix it up.  Dad really hooked me up with my next ride though, it was a 70 something model Datsun four door hatch back, baby blue piece of shit.  I had to drive that mofo three months before I went to basic training.  Needless to say, I bought my own truck with the money I made at basic.  Sidenote about the Datsun, there was never any pussy picked up while driving that pos.

[wesfau2]

Let's face it, we've all owned some a fucked up ride at one point or another.  Some piece of shit you just couldn't count the damn days fast enough until you could trade that mo fo in and save yourself some serious point and laugh.  Mine:

17th birthday.  Dad decides he's gonna' do something kick ass for his son.  He's going to surprise him with...a new car.  He comes in all proud and asks me to walk out to the driveway with him.  I know immediately what's going on. I have got my own wheels outside in that driveway.  Holy crap, my pops has sprung for a car.  I burst through the door to see....

A baby blue Chevy Chevette. (No air)

What....the....fucking....fuck?

 I was stunned to say the least, but had to act like it was the greatest thing in the world.  My dad was like the father on "A Christmas Story" when the leg lamp arrived.  I was like Ralphie when the teacher put a D on my paper and said "You'll shoot your eye out."

Anyway, the car had a problem with the cellanoid (sp?) on the starter.  So, about every third time I'd try to crank it...nothing.  I carried a big screwdriver under the seat so every time it did that, I popped the hood, jumped out with my trusty screwdriver and touched off a spark on the cellanoid and it cranked right up.  By the way, this only happened when I had a date.

Soooo...baby, where you wanna' go? (Turn key...nothing...big smile...I'll be right back baby)  Pop hood, grab screwdriver, jump out, fiddle around under hood, engine turns over, jump back in car, throw screwdriver under seat) So baby, like I was sayin'...

I know none of you have driven fucked up rides...right?

Solenoid.

I never had a POS.  I straight pimp, son.

[lifesapplepie]

Red '84 Honda Prelude.  It was actually pretty nice when I got it, but my older brother decided to  teach me how to rag it out.  After 3 years in high school and a couple in college... I had wires hanging out from where my radio was (like so many others, my CD player was stolen out of the Jeff Davis parking lot...never replaced),  when at a red light, I had to keep "Smokey" in neutral and rev up the engine to keep the engine from dying...I had several "bammars" try to race me, but I just quietly said to myself, you just don’t understand.  Both speakers in the rear window were gone (to this day, really not sure where they went...damn speaker nombs), complete with cobwebs and a hand full of hair from riding with my windows down... of course no a/c or heat.  Speedometer would not work...it just kind of seizured around the speed i was going!

Anyway, one day Smokey died on the side of the road...called my dad, and he said I am coming to pick you up, they can have it!!  Not really sure who "they" was, but i am sure they enjoyed ol Smokey.
.

[Tiger Six]

I never had a POS.  I straight pimp, son.

Not all of us were born with a silver spoon in our anus. 

[wesfau2]

Not all of us were born with a silver spoon in our anus. 

It's where I keep all my fancy items.

[GarMan]

Oh yeah...  I started off with the hand-me-down junker from the parents.  It was a 1977 Monte Carlo equipped wiff a four inch hole at the base of rear window.  That became a bonus feature as I could reach through the hole when were standing outside to grab a beer out of the trunk.  The car drove great, but it was ugly to look at.  It only had an AM/FM radio, so I eventually purchased an add-on cassette deck and strapped it on under the dash.  I found an equalizer at a yard sale and strapped that on underneath it followed by a Pioneer 200 watt amp. 

I saved up enough money to purchase a '78 Firebird the next year.  It started off as a great car until I side-swiped a brand new Chrysler one Friday night.  I wrecked it two more times before I eventually had to send it to the junkyard. 

Virtually out of money in my second year of college, I purchased a '71 Skylark to hold me over for a little while.  Stop thinking muscle car...  When it rained, I would get just as wet as if I were standing outside.  The oil pump was barely pushing enough oil through the engine to keep it from rattling and knocking.  Oh, and that amazing component stereo system from the '77 Monte Carlo ended up in this chariot too. 

[Tiger Six]

It's where I keep all my fancy items.

You never fail to entertain.

[RWS]

Solenoid.

I never had a POS.  I straight pimp, son.

Word.

Had a badass 91 GMC Sierra stepside when I turned 16. I had it until I was 18/19 and bought a 2003 Dodge Ram Quad Cab with a Hemi. Traded that in for a 2004 Durango with a Hemi. Then traded that in for a 2006 Dodge Magnum. I want to get something new right now since its a good time to buy, but I'm way fucking upside down on the Magnum.

[Greaseyweasel]

Early 70's LTD.....the cancer car. It had huge splotches of rust and holes eat in it. I think it was an Ex state trooper car (equiped with said state trooper engine package) before I bought it and man would it run.... at 120+mph one night the rear bumper just blew/fell/give up and jumped off. It was the origional hell chariot or fly car depending on what we were drinking that night.
Good times.

[AuburnChopper 3.0]

1973 Volkswagon BAHA Superbeetle.   Orange w/ white pin stripes, etched windows, chromed out engine and front "bumper" (I use that term loosely).   Two large motorcycle style pipes as opposed to the usual one...  No seat belts, 8 track player and a heater that sometimes worked, but usually didn't.  Large turbine style rims and tires.  It was a bad ass, but also the loudest sumbitch on the planet.  It was also a deathtrap waiting to happen while driving it for a few years in Iowa snow...   

Now, that car replaced a ...

1986 Buick Skylark... Gray with the red interior.  It was the most basic fucking car ever.  The only "character" that car had was the ridiculous stereo (Rockford Fosgate head unit with the 2 12" Punch Woofers...) and a Calvin sticker in the back window. 

[wesfau2]

a Calvin sticker in the back window. 

I certainly hope he was pissing on something. 

[Jumbo]

I certainly hope he was pissing on something. 

Bammer.