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Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s

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Kaos

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #200 on: June 07, 2024, 06:58:05 PM »
I started dating an Indian girl a few weeks ago.  Yesterday she said it would be ok if I gave her a facial.

I came on the spot.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Snakebite

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #201 on: June 07, 2024, 08:00:30 PM »
Quote from: Kaos on June 07, 2024, 06:58:05 PM
I started dating an Indian girl a few weeks ago.  Yesterday she said it would be ok if I gave her a facial.

I came on the spot.

Did she say “thank you, come again”?
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Snakebite

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #202 on: June 14, 2024, 07:59:05 AM »
I asked a Chinese friend of mine what it was like living in China a few days back.

He said he couldn’t complain.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #203 on: June 14, 2024, 02:21:04 PM »
What's the difference between Wuhan and Vegas?


What happens in Vegas......
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #204 on: June 14, 2024, 03:31:56 PM »
Quote from: Snakebite on June 14, 2024, 07:59:05 AM
I asked a Chinese friend of mine what it was like living in China a few days back.

He said he couldn’t complain.

Tanks for that…
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #205 on: June 14, 2024, 06:05:32 PM »
Quote from: CCTAU on June 14, 2024, 03:31:56 PM
Tanks for that…

That was as solid a post as I have ever seen from you…
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“If you're waitin' for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.” Preacher

Snakebite

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #206 on: July 30, 2024, 07:35:19 PM »
Fact: The dry-erase board is the most remarkable invention.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

CCTAU

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #207 on: July 30, 2024, 11:49:17 PM »
For all you StarWars fans, they just revealed Yoda’s last name.


It’s Leh-he-hoo…
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

AUJarhead

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #208 on: July 31, 2024, 07:31:53 AM »
Quote from: CCTAU on July 30, 2024, 11:49:17 PM
For all you StarWars fans, they just revealed Yoda’s last name.


It’s Leh-he-hoo…

Better written than anything Disney Star Wars has put out.
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War Damn Six

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #209 on: July 31, 2024, 08:39:51 AM »
Quote from: CCTAU on July 30, 2024, 11:49:17 PM
For all you StarWars fans, they just revealed Yoda’s last name.


It’s Leh-he-hoo…

I will give credit where it’s due…

Solid. 
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Snakebite

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #210 on: August 02, 2024, 07:27:13 PM »
Say what you will about necrophiliac morticians, but they sure love coming into work.
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Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Kaos

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Re: Dad Jokes, Puns, Dis’s
« Reply #211 on: August 03, 2024, 03:39:24 PM »
When we were in high school my friend and I got summer jobs at a plant in town.  They assigned him to this machine that drilled holes in metal sheets.  They let me fasten the pieces of metal together. 

He said his job was boring.  I found mine to be riveting. 
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