Things That Are Ass - 4

[Kaos]

Things that are ass Week 4

1. The Cal Bears. Total ass. Currently trailing Washington 52-12 one series into the third quarter.  I told some of ya'll Cal was ass. 

2. Colorado. Those damn green racists spoiled their magical mystery tour. Colorado was always ass, but nobody wanted to consider it. We comin!  My ass.

3. Lane Kiffin vs Saban, Ole Miss, and Jaxson Dart.  It's like Kiffin's entire asshole puckers when his Rebels play Bama.  I knew he would blow his last best chance to take down the elephant.  The Rebels are ass anyway. Jaxson is overrated ass.

4. Texas A&M.  Yep. That team is ass. Remember later that I told you this. I heard one of the idiots babbling that A&M were the clear front-runners in the SEC-W.  That's a three or four loss team just like always. 

5. Clemson. Ass.

6. Auburn offense and Hugh Freeze. I hate to tell you this because many of you haven't noticed but Bunyan Harrison is gone. This isn't his team. I watched enough of today's game to tell a couple of things.   Ashford has regressed. I had no idea that was even possible, but he has.  He's WORSE now than he was a year ago.  The other guy, whatever his name is, has also regressed from what he was at Michigan State.  That's on Freeze. It's not Hurlburg's fault, not after he's been gone a month short of a year and Freeze has had these guys since the summer.  I honestly didn't think things could get worse offensively than the abortions I saw Gus trot out for several years. And then I absolutely knew there was no way it could get worse than the complete ineptitude Harkins brought forth. And then there was this. This is the worst offense I've ever seen at Auburn and it's not close. It doesn't do anything well or with confidence. The "gameplan" is double dirty dog ass, such as it is.  I've refrained from saying much, but this is an abomination. It's a watered down version of the absolute worst of the pussified offenses we saw during the befuddled Gus years.  It's Gus lite without the laminated play chart and late night Waffle House. And that is NOT on Haskell. Put that where it belongs, on Freeze. 

7. RG3 - He's ass in the booth with his idiotic sayings and misguided bellowing. He's not as bad as Beth Mooings, but then again, what is?  I'll give him some credit for his honesty "that was NOT a hold, I have no idea what they were looking at" but when he's just making up words?  Ehhh.  His "keys to the game?"  1. Wear lace.  2. Bippity, Boppity Boo! 3. Clementine shasta.  WHAT the HELL are you talking about, son? 

8. "It's personal."   Deion started that shit. Now we've got Oregon's coach taking Deion personal and pissing off ESPN by (correctly) noting that the Cinderella story was over. There's also that Ohio State turd Ryan Day bug-eyed ranting about shit Lou Holtz (who I honestly thought was dead) said about his Buckeyes.  He took that personally!  Nobody talks about HIS team's toughness!  Oh eat a butt nugget. Lighten up, Francis.

[Snakebite]

Things that are ass Week 4

1. The Cal Bears. Total ass. Currently trailing Washington 52-12 one series into the third quarter.  I told some of ya'll Cal was ass. 

2. Colorado. Those damn green racists spoiled their magical mystery tour. Colorado was always ass, but nobody wanted to consider it. We comin!  My ass.

3. Lane Kiffin vs Saban, Ole Miss, and Jaxson Dart.  It's like Kiffin's entire asshole puckers when his Rebels play Bama.  I knew he would blow his last best chance to take down the elephant.  The Rebels are ass anyway. Jaxson is overrated ass.

4. Texas A&M.  Yep. That team is ass. Remember later that I told you this. I heard one of the idiots babbling that A&M were the clear front-runners in the SEC-W.  That's a three or four loss team just like always. 

5. Clemson. Ass.

6. Auburn offense and Hugh Freeze. I hate to tell you this because many of you haven't noticed but Bunyan Harrison is gone. This isn't his team. I watched enough of today's game to tell a couple of things.   Ashford has regressed. I had no idea that was even possible, but he has.  He's WORSE now than he was a year ago.  The other guy, whatever his name is, has also regressed from what he was at Michigan State.  That's on Freeze. It's not Hurlburg's fault, not after he's been gone a month short of a year and Freeze has had these guys since the summer.  I honestly didn't think things could get worse offensively than the abortions I saw Gus trot out for several years. And then I absolutely knew there was no way it could get worse than the complete ineptitude Harkins brought forth. And then there was this. This is the worst offense I've ever seen at Auburn and it's not close. It doesn't do anything well or with confidence. The "gameplan" is double dirty dog ass, such as it is.  I've refrained from saying much, but this is an abomination. It's a watered down version of the absolute worst of the pussified offenses we saw during the befuddled Gus years.  It's Gus lite without the laminated play chart and late night Waffle House. And that is NOT on Haskell. Put that where it belongs, on Freeze. 

7. RG3 - He's ass in the booth with his idiotic sayings and misguided bellowing. He's not as bad as Beth Mooings, but then again, what is?  I'll give him some credit for his honesty "that was NOT a hold, I have no idea what they were looking at" but when he's just making up words?  Ehhh.  His "keys to the game?"  1. Wear lace.  2. Bippity, Boppity Boo! 3. Clementine shasta.  WHAT the HELL are you talking about, son? 

8. "It's personal."   Deion started that shit. Now we've got Oregon's coach taking Deion personal and pissing off ESPN by (correctly) noting that the Cinderella story was over. There's also that Ohio State turd Ryan Day bug-eyed ranting about shit Lou Holtz (who I honestly thought was dead) said about his Buckeyes.  He took that personally!  Nobody talks about HIS team's toughness!  Oh eat a butt nugget. Lighten up, Francis.

Agree on everything you stated. 5-7 repeat is looking very likely. I think our best chance to make a bowl and to win a game we aren’t supposed to is to put the best throwing QB out there, HG. Thorne has the yips. Ashford remains untapped potential. Holden at least threw the ball to give his guys a chance. Let him get in a rhythm and see where he can take us.

[GH2001]

You’re not wrong K but your 3 “I told you so” points are straw men. I don’t think anyone ever thought that: 1. Cal was good - they won 2 games last year, 2. Auburn O was good or we’re gonna be good, one quick look at the roster on paper outside of the running back room tells that story  3. Aggie was a great team.

Aggie has a buttload of talent. But they aren’t a great team at all. They will lose more games.


Three things can be true at once here with Auburn -

1. harsin absolutely trashed the roster - especially on the offensive side and it absolutely has an effect on what you are seeing. Its sunbelt level. 2-3 bad classes will take a 9-10 win program down to 5-7 territory quickly. We’ve seen this story play out over and over. A valiant effort was made last December in a top 20 recruiting finish and some nice portal additions. But that was plugging some holes, and while many of the additions were improvements over the attrition/defections - it wasn’t ever gonna move the needle this year other than to maybe be the difference in 4 wins and 6-7 wins. Maybe.

2. The current staff is also 100% not utilizing what we have well on offense in regards to Thorne. That’s a fail on Montgomery as OC.  When I see uab and Trent dilfer utilize their lesser talent to the tune of 3 tds against Georgia’s all world defense? Yeah. No reason we can’t muster the same. I don’t expect us to beat a super talented team like Aggie in game 4 at their house in year 1 - but I do expect them to look better than THAT.

3. Thorne is an issue mentally right now. I don’t know what the answer is. He isn’t letting it go. It’s beyond deer in the headlights. But a coaching staff in this conference gets paid lots of money to figure it out.

Every point above is true at the same time.

[GH2001]

Agree on everything you stated. 5-7 repeat is looking very likely. I think our best chance to make a bowl and to win a game we aren’t supposed to is to put the best throwing QB out there, HG. Thorne has the yips. Ashford remains untapped potential. Holden at least threw the ball to give his guys a chance. Let him get in a rhythm and see where he can take us.

I’m there with Geriner as well snake. He at least doesn’t hesitate and throws a pretty ball. He will eventually get in a rhythm in due time. Wrs are not getting the best separation but it was enough for Thorne to get it in there several times. He just folded. Something is going on in his head. It’s like a mixture of mosely and Jeremy.

[Kaos]

Explain to me how a guy who was confident and efficient at Michigan State overthrows a wide open wheel route.  Not by inches.  By 40+ yards. 

Yeah. Talent is an issue.  I get that.  This is still one of the most poorly coached teams I’ve ever seen at AU.  The players may be sunbelt level, but let’s be honest.  So is the coaching staff.  Once again we have an entire staff that no other team on the planet would hire.  Except maybe a 1a high school in Wyoming. 

It’s abysmal.  Good coaches make players better.  Ashford is WORSE for God’s sake. 

I wish I hadn’t watched the few series I have. 

As for the straw men, I wasn’t really talking to most of you here. I was talking to the general populace.  The apologists who said going on the road for a midnight start to pull out a win at Cal was a great accomplishment.  The ones who said A&M will likely win the west. 

I do disagree with the talent excuse.  Carnell was able to make less talent than this play with pride and heart. I don’t see any of that now. 

[wesfau2]

3. Thorne is an issue mentally right now. I don’t know what the answer is. He isn’t letting it go. It’s beyond deer in the headlights. But a coaching staff in this conference gets paid lots of money to figure it out.

He was doing his best Clint Mosely impersonation.  It was infuriating.

[Snakebite]

He was doing his best Clint Mosely impersonation.  It was infuriating.

That’s exactly what I was thinking. The one who has never gotten a fair shot at it showed the most poise.

The game planning and play calling is elementary at best. Our run game is not clicking like it should. We have no idea what our identity is, and we seem to have no idea what we are trying to accomplish. Dysfunctional mamby pamby bullshit. I expect way better, and a much more exciting team to watch. It’s not the losing that bothers me so much. That is to be expected. It’s how we lose that turns the pressure cooker on.

I’m not ready to give up quite yet on this season becoming just that, but it’s apparent that something needs to change. Thorne isn’t it. Prepare him for a coaching career signaling in plays.

[jmar]

Freeze should already be leaning on a running game if it weren't for this offensive line.
True Thorne has the yips and Ashford has regressed. Don't know if Geriner is the answer but TAMU caught fire with their replacement. Geriner needs a legit shot as the starter this week and forget the two QB fail that fools nobody.

[War Damn Six]

Things that are ass Week 4

1. The Cal Bears. Total ass. Currently trailing Washington 52-12 one series into the third quarter.  I told some of ya'll Cal was ass. 

2. Colorado. Those damn green racists spoiled their magical mystery tour. Colorado was always ass, but nobody wanted to consider it. We comin!  My ass.

3. Lane Kiffin vs Saban, Ole Miss, and Jaxson Dart.  It's like Kiffin's entire asshole puckers when his Rebels play Bama.  I knew he would blow his last best chance to take down the elephant.  The Rebels are ass anyway. Jaxson is overrated ass.

4. Texas A&M.  Yep. That team is ass. Remember later that I told you this. I heard one of the idiots babbling that A&M were the clear front-runners in the SEC-W.  That's a three or four loss team just like always. 

5. Clemson. Ass.

6. Auburn offense and Hugh Freeze. I hate to tell you this because many of you haven't noticed but Bunyan Harrison is gone. This isn't his team. I watched enough of today's game to tell a couple of things.   Ashford has regressed. I had no idea that was even possible, but he has.  He's WORSE now than he was a year ago.  The other guy, whatever his name is, has also regressed from what he was at Michigan State.  That's on Freeze. It's not Hurlburg's fault, not after he's been gone a month short of a year and Freeze has had these guys since the summer.  I honestly didn't think things could get worse offensively than the abortions I saw Gus trot out for several years. And then I absolutely knew there was no way it could get worse than the complete ineptitude Harkins brought forth. And then there was this. This is the worst offense I've ever seen at Auburn and it's not close. It doesn't do anything well or with confidence. The "gameplan" is double dirty dog ass, such as it is.  I've refrained from saying much, but this is an abomination. It's a watered down version of the absolute worst of the pussified offenses we saw during the befuddled Gus years.  It's Gus lite without the laminated play chart and late night Waffle House. And that is NOT on Haskell. Put that where it belongs, on Freeze. 

7. RG3 - He's ass in the booth with his idiotic sayings and misguided bellowing. He's not as bad as Beth Mooings, but then again, what is?  I'll give him some credit for his honesty "that was NOT a hold, I have no idea what they were looking at" but when he's just making up words?  Ehhh.  His "keys to the game?"  1. Wear lace.  2. Bippity, Boppity Boo! 3. Clementine shasta.  WHAT the HELL are you talking about, son? 

8. "It's personal."   Deion started that shit. Now we've got Oregon's coach taking Deion personal and pissing off ESPN by (correctly) noting that the Cinderella story was over. There's also that Ohio State turd Ryan Day bug-eyed ranting about shit Lou Holtz (who I honestly thought was dead) said about his Buckeyes.  He took that personally!  Nobody talks about HIS team's toughness!  Oh eat a butt nugget. Lighten up, Francis.

I can’t disagree with anything you wrote. 

[GH2001]

Explain to me how a guy who was confident and efficient at Michigan State overthrows a wide open wheel route.  Not by inches.  By 40+ yards. 

Yeah. Talent is an issue.  I get that.  This is still one of the most poorly coached teams I’ve ever seen at AU.  The players may be sunbelt level, but let’s be honest.  So is the coaching staff.  Once again we have an entire staff that no other team on the planet would hire.  Except maybe a 1a high school in Wyoming. 

It’s abysmal.  Good coaches make players better.  Ashford is WORSE for God’s sake. 

I wish I hadn’t watched the few series I have. 

As for the straw men, I wasn’t really talking to most of you here. I was talking to the general populace.  The apologists who said going on the road for a midnight start to pull out a win at Cal was a great accomplishment.  The ones who said A&M will likely win the west. 

I do disagree with the talent excuse.  Carnell was able to make less talent than this play with pride and heart. I don’t see any of that now.

I think you agree with me. See last sentence of points 2 and 3 in my post. There is squarely liability here with the staff. No doubt (in Gus voice). We have mediocre talent. The coaching has been mediocre (on O anyway). And our qb has gone brain dead. It’s a bad combo.

[Buzz Killington]

Freeze should already be leaning on a running game if it weren't for this offensive line.
True Thorne has the yips and Ashford has regressed. Don't know if Geriner is the answer but TAMU caught fire with their replacement. Geriner needs a legit shot as the starter this week and forget the two QB fail that fools nobody.

Problem with that is you don't want to make facing the FUGA defense his time to give it a shot, or you'll end up with 2 head cases.

[CCTAU]

I don’t think Thorne ever truly recovered from his injury at MSU, mentally. All he could see was the rush. It’s a shame really, he throws a nice ball and usually times it well. But you could tell he could NOT stop watching the rush. And there was a helluva rush. HG came in with zero rush  and was able to throw. I’m not sure how he would be under duress.
At this point, this O has the same issue the O had the last two seasons, they are calling plays that take time to develop with a QB and a Line that need to just be part of a quick hitting passing game. Get those quick hitters. Use the one of 50 TEs we have and get into a rhythm. The. Balance it with runs.
Hopefully the White kid can stand and deliver next season. Or maybe the light comes on next season for Thorne. He has been successful before. It may be this offense is just too new and nobody really gets it yet?
Whatever the reason is, this staff needs to coach around it, and quick!

[The Six]

I like the new tradition of Sunday morning ass here on the X.

[jmar]

Problem with that is you don't want to make facing the FUGA offense his time to give it a shot, or you'll end up with 2 head cases.

We're only talking about a maelstrom of pain and mental anguish for 60 minutes.


Who will survive to carry the Holy Clipboard?


It promises to be an unhealthy competition.

[wesfau2]

I like the new tradition of Sunday morning ass here on the X.

You won't when it's your turn in the box, buddy.

[Buzz Killington]

We're only talking about a maelstrom of pain and mental anguish for 60 minutes.


Who will survive to carry the Holy Clipboard?


It promises to be an unhealthy competition.

Hank has the build for that job already.

[wesfau2]

Hank has the build for that job already.

Handling propane and propane accessories will do that to a guy.