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Best presents

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WiregrassTiger

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #20 on: December 26, 2014, 10:06:08 PM »
Quote from: bottomfeeder on December 26, 2014, 09:25:15 PM
I got laid Christmas Eve and xmas day.
She's a lucky woman.
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Like my posts on www.tigersx.com

chinook

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #21 on: December 26, 2014, 10:21:30 PM »
Quote from: WiregrassTiger on December 26, 2014, 10:06:08 PM
She's a lucky woman.

...'cause she's a corpse?   
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djsimp

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #22 on: December 26, 2014, 10:25:29 PM »
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Buzz Killington

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #23 on: December 26, 2014, 11:39:08 PM »
Quote from: chinook on December 26, 2014, 10:21:30 PM
...'cause she's a corpse?   

Or he's ambidextrous
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #24 on: December 27, 2014, 02:52:21 PM »
Quote from: bottomfeeder on December 26, 2014, 09:25:15 PM
I got laid Christmas Eve and xmas day.

Who can find a guy like that these days?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

bottomfeeder

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2015, 07:09:28 AM »
I fucked her right in the pussy.
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Pell City Tiger

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2015, 06:47:14 PM »
You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old Bender house. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Johnny."
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

Saniflush

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #27 on: January 05, 2015, 07:24:44 AM »
Quote from: Pell City Tiger on January 04, 2015, 06:47:14 PM
You know what I got for Christmas? Oh, it was a banner fucking year at the old Bender house. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said, "Hey, smoke up Johnny."

 I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

wesfau2

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #28 on: January 05, 2015, 09:16:32 AM »
Quote from: Saniflush on January 05, 2015, 07:24:44 AM
I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not about to throw it all away on some punk like you.

You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

The Six

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #29 on: January 05, 2015, 12:27:02 PM »
$2 gas is fine with me. Thank you oil-trading barons.
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"I'm sick of following my dreams...I'm just going to ask them where they are going and hook up with 'em later." - Mitch Hedberg

Godfather

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #30 on: January 05, 2015, 01:40:53 PM »
Quote from: wesfau2 on January 05, 2015, 09:16:32 AM
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
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Gus is gone, hooray!
                       -Auburn Fans

Auburn Forum

wesfau2

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #31 on: January 05, 2015, 10:44:05 PM »
Quote from: Godfather on January 05, 2015, 01:40:53 PM
Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Claire?  That's a fat girl's name.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

Tiger Wench

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Re: Best presents
« Reply #32 on: January 05, 2015, 11:06:45 PM »
Quote from: wesfau2 on January 05, 2015, 10:44:05 PM
Claire?  That's a fat girl's name.

Don't you... Forget about me...
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