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4 classes of UAT fans:

dallaswareagle

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4 classes of UAT fans:
« on: November 26, 2013, 05:00:56 PM »
Sent to me in an E-mail. Looks pretty accurate.

The Four Classes of UAT Fans

Gumps- Those UAT fans who just don't know any better and simply do as they are told by their Daddy/Uncle, Mother/Aunt. They, much like the main character in the movie they take their moniker from, are too dumb to realize that they have a choice. These people must be excused as it is not their fault. Gumps are obnoxious but mostly harmless.

Bammers- These UAT fans are a little smarter than the Gumps but not by much. They couldn't find Tuscaloosa on a map, and most likely haven't seen any part of the campus but Jordan-Hare West. Bammers represent most of the 85% and are extremely insufferable, especially when UAT is winning. These fans melt into the woodwork when the Tahd is on a losing streak, but love to call in and talk to Pawwwl when UAT is dominating.

Turds- UAT fans who actually graduated from the school, aka the 15%. Some of them belong to the REC, some don't, but they are all unbearably arrogant. These fans think their feces have no odor; this is mainly because they already smell as badly as they possibly can, and so their olfactory senses cannot detect the aroma of eau de toilet. They look down on Auburn as"that cow college"; and "little brother." This section of the fan base helps to fund the pool of company Chargers that are driven by the majority of their professional football team.

Updykes- This section of the UAT fan base is bat-sh*t crazy. These people live in rusted out 1936 model Airstreams in the middle of the boondocks. They have a satellite dish attached to the roof so they are sure not to miss a second of UAT football. When the delusion of UAT superiority over Auburn or any other school is broken this type of fan will become unhinged. The poisoning of trees and the tea-bagging of opposing fans is usually the result of an Updyke being brought back to reality.
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A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to 'The United States of America ' for an amount of 'up to and including my life.' That is Honor, and there are way too many people in this country who no longer understand it.'

AUChizad

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Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2013, 05:19:53 PM »
IMO Bammers = Updykes, but otherwise agree.
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bottomfeeder

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Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2013, 06:26:15 PM »
Legit question: Where does AJs mom fall/land?
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Kaos

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Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2013, 06:30:38 PM »
Legit question: Where does AJs mom fall/land?

The obnoxious attention whore falls on her back and lands with her legs in the air.

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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Buzz Killington

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Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2013, 06:55:25 PM »
Gump or bammer?
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

The Prowler

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Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2013, 07:53:49 PM »
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2013, 10:56:06 PM »
The only part I would disagree on is the about the graduates of UA. Maybe I am just lucky with the grads I know, but that is the part of their the fan base that I have had the best experiences with as far as being level-headed and realistic.

One thing I have discovered about the rest of the fan base is that they sure like to talk the smack, but they sure the heck can't receive it. You come back at them with some smack of your own and they like to be all passive-aggressive just saying they are "funnin' ya" and "don't mean nuttin by it".

« Last Edit: November 26, 2013, 10:58:13 PM by Ranger12 »
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The Prowler

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Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2013, 11:21:41 PM »
One thing I have discovered about the rest of the fan base is that they sure like to talk the smack, but they sure the heck can't receive it. You come back at them with some smack of your own and they like to be all passive-aggressive just saying they are "funnin' ya" and "don't mean nuttin by it".
Is that before or after you put a knife to their throat?
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"Patriotism and popularity are the beaten paths for power and tyranny." Good, no worries about tyranny w/ Trump

"Alabama's Special Teams unit is made up of Special Ed students." - Daniel Tosh

"The HUNH does cause significant Health and Safety issues, Health issues for the opposing fans and Safety issues for the opposing coaches." - AU AD Jay Jacobs

bottomfeeder

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Re: 4 classes of UAT fans:
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2013, 10:22:21 AM »
EXCERPT pasted from Track 'em Tigers:

http://trackemtigers.com/?p=21761

Quote
Happy Bammer Hate Week!
By CapnVegetto Posted on: November 24th, 2013 in Member Post 19 Comments »

Happy Bammer Hate Week to one and all!  That time of year is now here.  It’s that special week where we give thanks to the Lord for all that he hath given us, while at the same time raining our undying, eternal hatred down on the trailer trash, inbred, uneducated, redneck, Updyke-esque, hypocritical, disgusting, deluded sacks of excrement otherwise known as Alabama fans. Sure, we hate them all the time, but for one week a year it’s just a bit more intense.  I am particularly fond of this week, because it is the one week a year that my crass, loud, and perpetually disgusted manner is somewhat appreciated by the readers of Trackemtigers.com, because it is directed mostly at the Updykes.
- See more at: http://trackemtigers.com/?p=21761#sthash.MxFMDMcn.dpuf

More mash here
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