Open Hunting Season

[Vandy Vol]

...on hookers in Texas.

Apparently, it's legal in Texas to use deadly force in order to recovery property taken during a night time theft.

So if you pay a hooker and she leaves without fornicating, you can shoot that bitch.


http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/article/Jury-acquits-escort-shooter-4581027.php

A Bexar County jury on Wednesday acquitted Ezekiel Gilbert of murder in the death of a 23-year-old Craigslist escort.

Gilbert, 30, embraced defense attorneys Bobby Barrera and Roy Barrera Sr. with tears in his eyes after the not guilty verdict was read aloud by state District Judge Mary Román.

Outside the courtroom, Gilbert thanked God, the Barrera family and the jury for being able to “see what wasn't the truth” and for the “second chance.”

Had he been convicted, he could have faced up to life in prison for the slaying of Lenora Ivie Frago who died about seven months after she was shot in the neck and paralyzed on Christmas Eve 2009. Gilbert admitted shooting Frago.

“I sincerely regret the loss of the life of Ms. Frago,” Gilbert said Wednesday. “I've been in a mental prison the past four years of my life. I have nightmares. If I see guns on TV where people are getting killed, I change the channel.”

The verdict came after almost 11 hours of deliberations that stretched over two days. The trial began May 17 but had a long hiatus after a juror unexpectedly had to leave town for a funeral.

During closing arguments Tuesday, Gilbert's defense team conceded the shooting did occur but said the intent wasn't to kill. Gilbert's actions were justified, they argued, because he was trying to retrieve stolen property: the $150 he paid Frago. It became theft when she refused to have sex with him or give the money back, they said.

Gilbert testified earlier Tuesday that he had found Frago's escort ad on Craigslist and believed sex was included in her $150 fee. But instead, Frago walked around his apartment and after about 20 minutes left, saying she had to give the money to her driver, he said.

That driver, the defense contended, was Frago's pimp and her partner in the theft scheme.

The Texas law that allows people to use deadly force to recover property during a nighttime theft was put in place for “law-abiding” citizens, prosecutors Matt Lovell and Jessica Schulze countered. It's not intended for someone trying to force another person into an illegal act such as prostitution, they argued.

[Godfather]

...on hookers in Texas.

Apparently, it's legal in Texas to use deadly force in order to recovery property taken during a night time theft.

So if you pay a hooker and she leaves without fornicating, you can shoot that bitch.


http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/article/Jury-acquits-escort-shooter-4581027.php

I take it you won't be relocating to Texas anytime soon.

[AWK]

I take it you won't be relocating to Texas anytime soon.

You can shoot homosexuals for any reason, any time in Texas... So your point is kind of moot.

[Saniflush]

Now wait.....If you fuck'em and don't pay is it rape or theft?

[Godfather]

Now wait.....If you fuck'em and don't pay is it rape or theft?

Hey now....Rape is not funny!!!






Unless it's with a a clown.

[Godfather]

What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?















I don't cry when I'm cutting up the hooker.

[Buzz Killington]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?!!" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!"

[Vandy Vol]

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years, and upon her return her father cursed her, asking “Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?”

The girl, crying, replied, “Dad, I couldn’t bear to tell you… I became a call girl.”

“And what would that be, then?”

The girl hesitated, then stammered through her tears, “It’s a kind of prostitute.”

“A what! Out of here, ye ungrateful little baggage! You’re a disgrace to this family!”

“OK, Dad — as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, brother Kevin this gold Rolex and you this Mercedes convertible. I also wanted to invite you to spend Christmas with me on my yacht on the Riviera, and to move into my ten-bedroom mansion afterward.”

The father hesitated, then asked tentatively, “Now what did ye say a call girl was again?”

The girl softly said, “A kind of prostitute!”

“Oh! Sweet Jesus! Come here and give yer old man a hug, girl; ye scared me half to death! I thought ye said a kind of Protestant!”

[CCTAU]

So he asked for his money back and did not try to force her to have sex? Yet the prosecutor said the defendant was breaking the law trying to FORCE the hooker to do something illegal? So the prosecutor now thinks it is illegal to pay for a service and when you don't get that service, and you ask for your money back, then its not theft when they don;t give the money back? 

Stupid situation, but correct outcome. When the service was not provided, a refund was due. Leaving with something that is not yours, IS THEFT!

[Godfather]

John and Helen met while on vacation. John fell head over heels 'In Love' with Helen. After a couple of weeks after John took Helen out to various dance clubs, restaurants, and concerts, he was convinced it was true love. And so ... on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the relationship would continue.

"It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut,” John said to his newfound lady friend. '"I eat, sleep and breathe golf so if that's going to be a problem, say so now!'"

Helen took a deep breath and responded: 'Since we're being honest with each other, here goes ... You need to know that I'm a hooker'

'I see', John replied. 'That's a problem, for sure.' He spent some time looking down at the table, deep in thought.

Then he added, "'You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off."

[WiregrassTiger]

John and Helen met while on vacation. John fell head over heels 'In Love' with Helen. After a couple of weeks after John took Helen out to various dance clubs, restaurants, and concerts, he was convinced it was true love. And so ... on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the relationship would continue.

"It's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut,” John said to his newfound lady friend. '"I eat, sleep and breathe golf so if that's going to be a problem, say so now!'"

Helen took a deep breath and responded: 'Since we're being honest with each other, here goes ... You need to know that I'm a hooker'

'I see', John replied. 'That's a problem, for sure.' He spent some time looking down at the table, deep in thought.

Then he added, "'You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off."

Now THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is comedy at its finest.

[Vandy Vol]

One day a hooker went to file her taxes.  On the portion of her return that asked for her occupation, she entered "Prostitute."  After reviewing her return, an I.R.S. representative contacted her and explained that prostitution was an illegal occupation.

She said she'd have to think about it and that she'd call him back in a hour with her occupation.

So about an hour goes by, and lo and behold the I.R.S. representative receives a call from the hooker just as she promised.  She said, "I've got it...I'm a chicken farmer."  This obviously confused the hell out of the guy, so he asked, "How do you get chicken farmer out of prostitution?"


She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year."

[War Eagle!!!]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get a stiffy. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUUUH!" all night long.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?"

The first whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I just couldn't get a hard on."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?!!" he asked. "I couldn't even get on the bed!!!"

To hear Norm McDonald tell that joke is pure entertainment....