How us older folk see somethings.

[dallaswareagle]

I could live with that one. The bad one was when your mom looked at you and said, "Go get me a switch the whip your brother with.And bring back a good one, or you will join him".

Now what to do? You didn't want to get your brother killed. But you didn't want to join him either. Then you had to watch while he looked at you like you got the wrong switch. As if there is a right one.

It’s a dog eat dog world. I would have brought back many, different lengths, different widths for her choosing. Than after his beating kill every living tree in the area.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

So how many of you had to go get your own switch?  I hated that.  Bring back one that was too big and you got your ass beat with it anyway, bring back one that was too small and that would just piss them off even more so they beat your ass even worse when they got back from getting a real switch.

Also, my dad took me on a fishing trip on a creek up around Athens one day.  I remember walking past a huge patch of cane on the way in.  On the way out my dad stopped and havested a bunch of the smaller ones.  My dumbass thought, well he's a dummy, those are way to small for cane poles.  Holy shoot I was happy when the last of those whipping canes disappeared from the house.

I never got the switch oddly enough.  It was always just belt, hand, or fly swatter.  The fly swatter may sound funny, but it stung like hell across the back of your legs and calves.

[dallaswareagle]

I never got the switch oddly enough.  It was always just belt, hand, or fly swatter.  The fly swatter may sound funny, but it stung like hell across the back of your legs and calves.

And left a funny pattern if used in the same spot.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

And left a funny pattern if used in the same spot.

You always wanted to avoid the waffle butt.

[dallaswareagle]

You always wanted to avoid the waffle butt.

Sometimes thats all that was left in the club after 1:00am.

[AUTailgatingRules]

I remember celebrating the day my dad cut down that lethal weapon known as the willow tree

[ssgaufan]

Sometimes thats all that was left in the club after 1:00am.

Sometimes you just have to make the best of a bad situation.

[dallaswareagle]

Sometimes you just have to make the best of a bad situation.

Beer helps with that alot. 

[AUTiger1]

I remember celebrating the day my dad cut down that lethal weapon known as the willow tree

My grandmother would turn into Indiana Jones with one of those.  She also used the fly swatter and depending on how bad you were she might use the wire end.  Mom and Dad always used a belt or something handy that could be used as a belt, like a set of reigns or an old leather strap that was conveniently within hands reach.  Problem was I just couldn't stop myself from being a little shithead and smartass.   Much like now.

[dallaswareagle]

My grandmother would turn into Indiana Jones with one of those.  She also used the fly swatter and depending on how bad you were she might use the wire end.  Mom and Dad always used a belt or something handy that could be used as a belt, like a set of reigns or an old leather strap that was conveniently within hands reach.  Problem was I just couldn't stop myself from being a little shithead and smartass.   Much like now.

When everything else was out of reach and that ass whoopin just positively/absolutely had to be delivered right then, the old style flat backed hair brush was used and I swear she had Thor power with that brush, cause that thing seem to fly into her hand whenever she commanded it. 

[Snaggletiger]

The belt was the thing.  My folks didn't want to wait on one of us to go get a switch.  Just whip that belt off and start swingin'.  BTW, comedian Sinbad has a bit about gettin' that ass whooped that had me rolling. 

My all-time ass beating came when I was 15.  Came home one afternoon and found my mom rearranging my room.  What the hell?  You're touching my stuff.  She told me to grab the other end of the bed and help her move it. (This turned out to be my saving grace)  I bowed up and told her I didn't want my room messed with and she could do it herself.  Went to the den and here she comes after me, belt in hand.  Told her she wasn't hitting me with that belt.  She advised me she was and reared back to swing.

Just then, that little devil from Animal House popped up on my shoulder and told me I was a bad man and shouldn't stop now.  So, I reached up and grabbed the belt, threw it across the room and told her she was NOT hitting me with that belt.  I was right!  SHE....wasn't going to hit me with that belt.  I spent the rest of the afternoon cussing that little devil guy, waiting on dad to get home.  He does...and goes into the bedroom where mom is waiting.....Remember the phone call from A Christmas Story where it starts out with, "Do you know what my son just said?.....Do you know where he heard it?"

That's pretty much how it went down.  Pops comes out with a belt and starts wailing.  Belt ain't good enough...he starts throwing hands and beatin' my little punk ass down the hall...and into my bedroom....where the bed is still sitting in the middle of the room.  Hopped to the other side and kept it between me and him until he got tired and left.  I locked the door behind him....and bled.   

[Saniflush]

I locked the door behind him....and bled.   

Just do what you do now and shove a wad of cotton in it.

[Snaggletiger]

Just do what you do now and shove a wad of cotton in it.

No shit.  It's easier to just......


Hey, wait a damn minute!!!

[dallaswareagle]

Funniest ass whopping I ever got I was also about 15 or so and was sitting in a chair in the living room, I was 15 and cock of the walk, Well my mother asked me if I knew where something was (don’t remember what exactly) so I said “Didn’t I tell you”? And she said no, so I then said to my sainted mother, “Well it must not have been any of your business”

She then proceeded to beat me across the body with a towel that she had in her hand. I didn’t laugh but it was funny. 

[AU_Tiger_2000]

The belt was the thing.  My folks didn't want to wait on one of us to go get a switch.  Just whip that belt off and start swingin'.  BTW, comedian Sinbad has a bit about gettin' that ass whooped that had me rolling. 

My all-time ass beating came when I was 15.  Came home one afternoon and found my mom rearranging my room.  What the hell?  You're touching my stuff.  She told me to grab the other end of the bed and help her move it. (This turned out to be my saving grace)  I bowed up and told her I didn't want my room messed with and she could do it herself.  Went to the den and here she comes after me, belt in hand.  Told her she wasn't hitting me with that belt.  She advised me she was and reared back to swing.

Just then, that little devil from Animal House popped up on my shoulder and told me I was a bad man and shouldn't stop now.  So, I reached up and grabbed the belt, threw it across the room and told her she was NOT hitting me with that belt.  I was right!  SHE....wasn't going to hit me with that belt.  I spent the rest of the afternoon cussing that little devil guy, waiting on dad to get home.  He does...and goes into the bedroom where mom is waiting.....Remember the phone call from A Christmas Story where it starts out with, "Do you know what my son just said?.....Do you know where he heard it?"

That's pretty much how it went down.  Pops comes out with a belt and starts wailing.  Belt ain't good enough...he starts throwing hands and beatin' my little punk ass down the hall...and into my bedroom....where the bed is still sitting in the middle of the room.  Hopped to the other side and kept it between me and him until he got tired and left.  I locked the door behind him....and bled.   

I was always partial to Bill Cosby's talking about the belt that hid dad threatened him and his brother with.

http://youtu.be/JPn3c_BMg_8?t=4m15s

[AUJarhead]

I was always partial to Bill Cosby's talking about the belt that hid dad threatened him and his brother with.

My wife and daughter got into it Thursday night, and I was the goalie, she'd come to me and I'd kick her back into play.  And I swear, after, it was something just like out of the Cosby skit.  My wife sitting there, talking to herself, "Talk to me like that, and then you roll your eyes?  Don't roll your eyes at me, I'll roll that head of yours."

And I started laughing, which didn't help one bit.