Strange Pussies

[Snaggletiger]

Cats do some weird stuff.  Oh wait....you came here for something else, didn't you?  Filthy minded bastages.

Just an observation...rant here.  We've got 3 outside cats. I'm not a cat person but I don't hate em' either.  They hang out in the garage. You keep a bowl of Meow Mix poured and take em' to get their $5.00 rabies shot once a year and they're pretty much self-sufficient.  Provide some entertainment when you're out working in the yard.  About 6 months ago, apparently someone had abandoned some kittens at the end of our road.  One takes up at our house and a few days later, twin sister shows up.  (Had them fixed right away)  Admittedly, they were funny as hell.  They'd fight and stalk each other...mess with the grown cat.  Now.....

They just kill shit

Anyone who has a cat knows what I'm talking about.  If they kill something, they bring it to your doorstep as if showing off their trophy.  There's always lizard pieces, mouse entrails, bird parts scattered around our door. These cats are not very big, but 3 days ago I walked out and right there at my feet was one of them with a full grown squirrel in it's mouth. Killed it and drug it up to the door.  "Here dude, I got you this squirrel."   

Last night, I go out and one of them is chasing a mouse/rat the size of a small hamster around the garage.  I'm fine with that.  That's what cats are supposed to do...kill mice and keep them away from us.  But, I know what will happen and the rodent won't just be killed.  It will be stripped Predator style and it's parts placed neatly around the garage on display for all to see.  The rat is still very much alive so I put on a work glove and grab it.  Take it down the road a bit and fling it into the woods.  This morning...

Walk out and there's one of the cats gnawing on a big pile of rat guts on the welcome mat.  The hide is fully in tact a few feet away.  This time, I sent the dumb ass feline flying out of the garage, courtesy of my size 12's.  We live on a street that's basically undeveloped and only has 3 houses on it.  We have woods all around us so there are benefits to having them out there.  But this is getting ridiculous.  A few years ago, one killed a mouse and stored the carcass in mini snags' baseball cleats that were left outside.

Would it help if I bought a Boa Constrictor and kept it in the garage?   

[AUownsU]

[AU_Tiger_2000]

When I was a kid we had an outside cat that was one of the most bad ass pets I've ever seen.  Killing squirrels was it's pleasure, but I was really impressed when it had kittens and a chicken snake tried to get at the kittens where she had hid them in a woodpile.  End of the story was mama cat dragging the snake out of the woodpile and killing it in the yard for our entertainment.

[Snaggletiger]

When I was a kid we had an outside cat that was one of the most bad ass pets I've ever seen.  Killing squirrels was it's pleasure, but I was really impressed when it had kittens and a chicken snake tried to get at the kittens where she had hid them in a woodpile.  End of the story was mama cat dragging the snake out of the woodpile and killing it in the yard for our entertainment.

I've had my rounds with both possums and racoons over the years. When you have cat food sitting out, they will come.  Unfortunately, the cats just climb up on something high and watch. I don't blame them.  I've caught several in traps and I don't even like picking the trap up.  Both those bastages are evil and mean as hell.

[Saniflush]

I've had my rounds with both possums and racoons over the years. When you have cat food sitting out, they will come.  Unfortunately, the cats just climb up on something high and watch. I don't blame them.  I've caught several in traps and I don't even like picking the trap up.  Both those bastages are evil and mean as hell.

You should go all Joe Biden on them.

[Token]

I had a cat once.  I was a young kid, probably 7.  Late one night, my cat had kittens.  I was super excited.  I didn't want to go to school the next day, but I was made to go.  All I thought about during school, was getting back home to my kitties.  Longest school day of my life.  Then when I finally got home, I run to the box where the kittens were when I went to school, only to find 5 kitten heads.  My cat ate them.  Everything but the heads and spine.  The next day, I picked my cat up, held my hands over her eyes and slowly walked backwards to my chow's dog pen.  As soon as I was close enough and had his attention, I launched her over into the pen.  After a short scuffle, my chow lost sight in both of his eyes because the cat scratched them out. 

The point of this story is, cats are bad motherfuckers. 

[Snaggletiger]

I had a cat once.  I was a young kid, probably 7.  Late one night, my cat had kittens.  I was super excited.  I didn't want to go to school the next day, but I was made to go.  All I thought about during school, was getting back home to my kitties.  Longest school day of my life.  Then when I finally got home, I run to the box where the kittens were when I went to school, only to find 5 kitten heads.  My cat ate them.  Everything but the heads and spine.  The next day, I picked my cat up, held my hands over her eyes and slowly walked backwards to my chow's dog pen.  As soon as I was close enough and had his attention, I launched her over into the pen.  After a short scuffle, my chow lost sight in both of his eyes because the cat scratched them out. 

The point of this story is, cats are bad motherfuckers.

He speaks for all of us.

[GH2001]

He speaks for all of us.

Hey, you should try giving one of those bastards a bath. They hit a new level of crazy in the head.

[Snaggletiger]

Hey, you should try giving one of those bastards a bath. They hit a new level of crazy in the head.

The fur always sticks to my tongue.

$1.00 to Steve Martin

[Pell City Tiger]

I had a cat once.  I was a young kid, probably 7.  Late one night, my cat had kittens.  I was super excited.  I didn't want to go to school the next day, but I was made to go.  All I thought about during school, was getting back home to my kitties.  Longest school day of my life.  Then when I finally got home, I run to the box where the kittens were when I went to school, only to find 5 kitten heads.  My cat ate them.  Everything but the heads and spine.  The next day, I picked my cat up, held my hands over her eyes and slowly walked backwards to my chow's dog pen.  As soon as I was close enough and had his attention, I launched her over into the pen.  After a short scuffle, my chow lost sight in both of his eyes because the cat scratched them out. 

The point of this story is, cats are bad motherfuckers.

Did the cat give you "the look" when it walked out of the dog pen? The look that let's you know, "Yeah, bitch, I did it. Do this shit again and I'll claw yours out, too!"

[CCTAU]

Cats sink. That is all.

[Snaggletiger]

It continues.  Last night, Snagette came in from the store and tells me one of the cats might have something trapped in a shoe in the garage.  I've got an old pair of tennis shoes I use for yardwork that I keep in the garage.  I go out and yep, one of the cats is laying beside a shoe, occasionally stabbing a paw inside it.  I picked up the shoe and shook it and sure enough, this little mouse comes flying out and shoots out of the garage with the cat hot on his trail. Cat caught up to it and proceeded to torture said mouse for several minutes before the squeaking stopped.  Sadistic litte bastages.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

It continues.  Last night, Snagette came in from the store and tells me one of the cats might have something trapped in a shoe in the garage.  I've got an old pair of tennis shoes I use for yardwork that I keep in the garage.  I go out and yep, one of the cats is laying beside a shoe, occasionally stabbing a paw inside it.  I picked up the shoe and shook it and sure enough, this little mouse comes flying out and shoots out of the garage with the cat hot on his trail. Cat caught up to it and proceeded to torture said mouse for several minutes before the squeaking stopped.  Sadistic litte bastages.

Our cat used to catch a field mouse and bring it on the back porch to torture it.  It would let the mouse run go catch it and bring it back over and over again.  When the mouse finally gave up the ghost the cat would just swat it across the ground go grab it and bring it back before she got bored with it.

[Snaggletiger]

Our cat used to catch a field mouse and bring it on the back porch to torture it.  It would let the mouse run go catch it and bring it back over and over again.  When the mouse finally gave up the ghost the cat would just swat it across the ground go grab it and bring it back before she got bored with it.

No question.  The mouse/rat the other night (Don't know which...it looked like a mouse but was bigger than my hand) that the cat had trapped in the garage was very much alive when I grabbed it.  The cat could have killed it any time it wanted but was enjoying batting it around and letting it run a little before pouncing on it again.  Just kill it already and carry it off in the woods.  Don't torture it for 20 minutes then go all Predator on the welcome mat.

[CCTAU]

And now you understand why Tom and Jerry could never be friends.......

[dallaswareagle]

Our cats (we have three) are not outside cats but we let them out in the backyard only mostly while we are there. We have one who is the hunter (Rambo-we found him as a stray), the other two could care less if a mouse ran up and slapped them, those cats know where there food is. Well for some reason this one day a bird decided to start swooping down from our neighbor’s roof squawking to all hell diving right at Rambo and then shooting back to the roof. Went to the store and came back and nothing but a pile of feathers. No body parts.

Reason his name is Rambo-When my wife brought him home and let him out of the travel kennel. He ran straight at me and jumped on my leg (with claws out)

He drew first blood. 

[Snaggletiger]

Our cats (we have three) are not outside cats but we let them out in the backyard only mostly while we are there. We have one who is the hunter (Rambo-we found him as a stray), the other two could care less if a mouse ran up and slapped them, those cats know where there food is. Well for some reason this one day a bird decided to start swooping down from our neighbor’s roof squawking to all hell diving right at Rambo and then shooting back to the roof. Went to the store and came back and nothing but a pile of feathers. No body parts.

Reason his name is Rambo-When my wife brought him home and let him out of the travel kennel. He ran straight at me and jumped on my leg (with claws out)

He drew first blood.

First blood.  Nice. 

We occasionally will have a bird fly in the garage. They get discombobulated-inator and can't figure out how to just.....fly back out the big, open garage doors.  Instead, they keep banging into the windows trying to get out.  Cats start grinning then.  If I'm out, I'll take a net and trap the bird and get it out of there.  If not, we'll have a garage full of feathers and fat/happy cats.