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A Study in Contrast

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A Study in Contrast
« on: June 25, 2008, 10:50:19 PM »
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Al Gore’s intrawebs are afire with the news of the latest chapter in the saga that is the University of Alabama’s fight to escape oppressive legal rule.  It seems that the boys in blue take a dim view of the efforts of the boys in crimson to horn in on Tony Montana’s turf.  Jimmy Johns, running back-turned-linebacker for the Tide, has been arrested and charged with five counts of distributing cocaine (among various other, lesser, charges).  Johns’ arrest brings the offseason total of arrests for the Tide to a nice, round 10.  That’s 10 Bama players cuffed and stuffed under Nick “The Disciplinarian” Saban this year alone.  In addition to Johns' career as a street-pharmacist, it seems he's determined to follow Mike Vick's sterling example:  he raises and sells pit bulls.  No kidding, just dial up www.jimmyjohnspitbulls.com on the old C-64 and be amazed.  He has not, to date, been connected with dog fighting, but he's in the same zip code.  Someone better versed in the Byzantine NCAA regs can tell me whether or not the side business (which clearly leans heavily on Johns' status as a member of the Alabama football team as a marketing tool) constitutes a violation or four.

I have only the most limited and superficial knowledge of the NCAA rules, but I'll take a stab at answering my own inquiry.  A quick google search provided these seemingly applicable rules:

12.5.2.1 Advertisements and Promotions After Becoming a Student-Athlete.

After becoming a student-athlete, an individual shall not be eligible for participation in intercollegiate athletics if the individual:

(a) Accepts any remuneration for or permits the use of his or her name or picture to advertise, recommend or promote directly the sale or use of a commercial product or service of any kind; or

(b) Receives remuneration for endorsing a commercial product or service through the individual's use of such product or service.

12.4.4 Self-Employment. A student-athlete may establish his or her own business, provided the student-athlete's name, photograph, appearance or athletics reputation are not used to promote the business.(Adopted:12/12/06)

It would appear, to my under-educated eyes, that Johns has clearly forfeited his eligibility if the website is, in fact, authentic.  The question remains: What liability, if any, does Bama have in this scenario?

Tide apologists (read: crimson-clad trailer dwellers) will howl that Johns is a Shula recruit to anyone bold enough to lay blame for Johns’ activities at the feet of his head coach and ostensible parent figure.  Chew this like it is fine Skoal Wintergreen, my mesh-cap wearing neighbor: EVERY PLAYER ON THE BAMA ROSTER IS A DE FACTO SABAN RECRUIT.  When St. Nick arrived at the Crap…er, Capstone…he was charged with evaluating the team and dismissing all non-hackers, among various other HC duties.  Each player was reviewed and either dismissed or retained based upon whatever criteria Saban chose to employ.  Thus, the players who remained on the roster following this evaluation period passed Saban’s muster and can rightfully be referred to as Saban’s recruits/players.

The message boards (obviously known for their veracity and strict journalistic standards) are burning with stories of Johns’ reputation as the Prince of Powder.  It was, by these unverified accounts, well-known that Johns was the man to see if you wanted to stay up for three days or begin the Lindsay Lohan diet program.  If these stories are to be believed, and I leave it to you, dear reader, to place whatever weight you choose on these tales, Saban was either willfully blind to his players’ off-field activities or he has had his head firmly planted in his colon for the past 18 months.

The win-at-all costs mentality that trickles down from the wealthiest booster, through Mal(function) Moore’s office and right into St. Nick’s office has reared its head again.  The bad apples (cough…DJ Hall…cough) were retained because they were skilled players, necessary to Saban’s directive to win games, win now, and beat Auburn.  Saban, to his very limited credit, has dismissed Johns from the team.  That decision was hardly in Saban’s hands, however, since the University took the lead and dismissed Johns from school prior to Saban's "swift" justice.  As he was no longer a student at UA, Johns could not possibly be a member of the football team.  However, even if you overlook the fact that Saban's announcement of discipline was as impotent as Bob Dole, a blind, lead paint-munching, orangutan could see that the PR nightmare, as bad as it is now, would have been catastrophic had Johns merely served a perfunctory suspension (LaMonroe and DJ Hall, we’re looking at you!).

The turmoil and chaos in Tuscaloosa stands in stark contrast to the atmosphere across the state in Auburn:  Tommy Tuberville has filled more than half of his ’09 class of recruits, the team is engaged in summer workouts and drills, and there has been nary a peep of legal incident for any player, coach or alum (shout-out to the Snake!).  These are days of hard work and sacrifice for the men in orange and blue and these efforts will produce fruit on the playing field this autumn.  Their counterparts in Tuscaloosa are engaged in some pre-season activities of their own, but the fruit borne of the crimson effort is destined to be rotten and suitable only as slop for the pigs.

 
« Last Edit: June 25, 2008, 10:52:16 PM by BK AU »
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Snaggletiger

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Re: A Study in Contrast
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2008, 06:05:19 AM »
Welcome Forum Staff. Post often.

Oh, nice first post.
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Jumbo

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Re: A Study in Contrast
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2008, 06:25:32 AM »
Forum Post comes out swingin' :box:
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wesfau2

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Re: A Study in Contrast
« Reply #3 on: June 26, 2008, 08:57:18 AM »
Thoughtful, cogent and on point.

I gotta say, this author must have a mighty e-penis.

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On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.