Dear Mr. Scott -
Congratulations on your Master's Degree from the University of Alabama and your position as head football coach of the Hueytown Golden Gophers.
It is our sad duty to inform you that if you allow Jameis Winston to use your fax machine or any fax machine in the tri-state area to send a letter of intent to Florida State in February, your alumni status will be revoked.
Mark Ingram and Julio Jones will be by to repossess the jerseys you were provided. T-Town Menswear is revoking your charging privileges.
You should also be advised that Bryant Bank will be moving forward on the foreclosure on your home. All personal loans will be called in. Your credit cards are scheduled to be cancelled.
Your responsibility was quite simple and you have to this point failed miserably. Get your head out of your ass.
We've contracted Mr. Woodruff and supplied him with photshopped documents showing that he's been a lifelong friend of the Winston family and personally adopted Jameis when he was a ninth grader. You are instructed to deliver Jameis to Woodruff for re-education training to be held at an undisclosed condominum in a nearby state. He will be collecting the player immediately after the last football game of the season.
Don't fuck this up.
NS
(not Saban, you dumbass)
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