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New Army unit

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Saniflush

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New Army unit
« on: February 23, 2011, 12:48:55 PM »
NEW ARMY UNIT FORMED

 
Details Of Obama Openly Gay Military Released

WASHINGTON (SR) - President Barack Obama has directed the Pentagon to replace the "don't ask, don't tell" policy with one that will allow openly gay men and women to serve in the military.   Defense Secretary Robert Gates and the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Admiral Mike Mullen, will present details of the plan to U.S. lawmakers next Tuesday.

According to sources inside the Pentagon, changes to be implemented include adding choreography to marching regimens, equipping all dorms with double-wide bunks, new fitted uniforms in seasonal color palettes, the installation of hot tubs, and more.

In a potentially controversial move, the Pentagon will announce the formation of a new all-gay, all male company named the "Fighting 69th Sodomites."  Sources credit the creation of the 69th to House member Barney Frank, who has reportedly been working "very, very closely" with gay Pentagon officials.


THEIR MOTTO IS:  NEVER LEAVE YOUR BUDDY'S BEHIND!
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: New Army unit
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2011, 01:00:41 PM »
Now I'm just gonna' tell ya'...that ain't right.  Funny...but it ain't right.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

djsimp

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Re: New Army unit
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2011, 01:57:52 PM »
I wonder if the Army will start making Speedo's and G-String underwear a part of standard issue. Also, I wonder if their BDU's will button in the front or the back.
« Last Edit: February 23, 2011, 01:59:36 PM by djsimp41 »
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GarMan

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Re: New Army unit
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2011, 03:18:20 PM »
If you guys keep that up, there are a couple of Swashbuckling Advocates (aka: Chad and Taylor) will get all up in your schit, and they love playing in teh shit...  You guys are a bunch of mean-spirited homophobes, making fun of queers and faggots who want to join the military.  You guys need to leave those cock-suckers alone! 
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

AU_Tiger_2000

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Re: New Army unit
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2011, 03:25:29 PM »
Quote from: GarMan on February 23, 2011, 03:18:20 PM
If you guys keep that up, there are a couple of Swashbuckling Advocates (aka: Chad and Taylor) will get all up in your schit, and they love playing in teh poop...  You guys are a bunch of mean-spirited homophobes, making fun of queers and faggots who want to join the military.  You guys need to leave those cock-suckers alone!

You will find no racism or bigotry in his corps!
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You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and tell him: "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you. You have died of dissin' Terry.

GarMan

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Re: New Army unit
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2011, 03:30:30 PM »
Quote from: AU_Tiger_2000 on February 23, 2011, 03:25:29 PM
You will find no racism or bigotry in his corps! 

That's right.  It won't be tolerated... at all!  Making fun of sissy-boys is unacceptable.  Military service is a basic human right.  (Or, was that universal healthcare?)
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Ranger12

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Re: New Army unit
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2011, 06:32:27 PM »
Leave the queers in the military alone. You should be flattered if a fudge packer wants to check out your ass in the showers or foxhole. They have never done anything to you, despite the fact they want to do you.
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djsimp

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Re: New Army unit
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2011, 06:52:25 PM »
Don't drop the soap.
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