Getting forwarded around our office

[AU_Tiger_2000]

T'was the night before the Iron Bowl, and all over the South, Bammers, as usual, were running their mouth.
The pads were all hanging so neatly with care, in hope that Coach Nick soon would be there.

McElroy was nestled all snug in his bed, while visions of Fairley danced in his head.
Auburn is perfect and one of the Best. They have one score to settle at Jordan Hare West.

When out of the blue did arise such a roar—Bama couldn't believe it; Auburn just scored.
Away to the end zone, McCalebb flew like a flash! They scratched their heads saying, man that guy's fast!

The Tide was in awe of what they just witnessed. Bama fans were thinking, "We really should have listened!"
When what should my wondering eyes behold? Adams is open, the Tide was too slow!

With a little less field, so tempting and short, Cam Newton would surely now go to work.
He rolls right, to the empty space and hits Emory Blake, who ended the chase.

Now, CAM! Now, Burns! Now Dyer and Fannin!
On Fairley! On Bynes! On Stephens! Go BLITZ'EM!

Passing, catching, running and kicking! Man, they gave the Tide one good whipping!

35 yards was all Ingram could muster. This will sure silence the Boise BCS buster!

The game is over and the score a disgrace. Auburn fans were screaming, "We OWN this place!"

Players were tired and empty were the tanks, Saban was left looking for an ass to spank.

Next stop Atlanta, then Glendale bound. War Eagle was yelled and chanted! God I love that sound.

[AU_Tiger_2000]

Twas the Night before the Iron Bowl, when all through the land,

The media morons were still in search of one eighty grand.

Cam wasn’t worried, he had not even a care,

The only thing puzzling him was, “Who is this Bear?”



The bams were all laughing and full of themselves,

Each one convinced there would be something else.

Thayer and Schlabaugh had broken the news,

And Finebaum was convinced there must be more shoes.



When out of the east, there arose a great fuss,

As each Auburn player made his way to the bus.

On toward t-town the driver did go,

It was just about time for Cam to put on his show.



Their plan was failing and lies being exposed,

As Cam rode on the bus and peacefully dozed.

When what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But their miniature coach, awestruck with fear.



Standing five feet tall, a lively ole prick,

I knew in a moment it must be Lil’ Nick.

Curse those “War Eagles” his minions they came,

And he snorted and snarled as he called them by name.



“Now, Thayer! Now, Finebaum! Now Schad and Schlabaugh!

On Herbstreit! On Holtz! Yes! You’ve assisted the cause!

To ESPN, Fox News and them all,

Now bash away, bash away, bash away all.



We must tell more lies about cheating and cash,

Or pray to The Bear that their team bus will crash.

They are almost here and I don’t have plan.

No one has stopped him, he just ran and he ran!



I have watched so much film and I’ve plotted and schemed,

But he is so much better than I ever had dreamed.

He zigs and he zags and I swear that he flies,

He does things on the field not seen with my eyes.



We will not stop him, like so many before,

They will move the ball at will and easily score.

Our fans will be furious and then start to clamor,

When Cam jumps in the crowd and leads the reverse “rammer jammer”.



So off to Texas I will run, as fast as I can,

And meet with Jerry Jones, since he is the man.

I will leave bammer hanging and holding the bag,

Merry Christmas you rednecks, now print that on bamamag.