We've got a couple of stray cats that set up house in our garage several months back. They're pretty cool and keep the mouse population in check, especially since we've got several acres of wooded area next to our house. I walked out in my garage the other night and came face to face with a huge, nasty ass possum that had come out of the woods and was getting fat on Meow Mix. He scurried off before I could find anything to kick his ass with. Over the past couple of weeks, he's ventured in there several times.
Last night, I walked out and there he was, just sitting in the corner, hissing at me. By the way, those things have got a mouth full of bad ass teeth. I really didn't have that big of a problem with him until he showed me those razors and challenged my manhood. I couldn't go out in the garage and get anything because he was basically at the foot of my steps. The two cats were up on the outside refrigerator. One of them looked at me and said, "Yo Steve, you gonna' kill that bastard or what? You know he's been eating our crunchies, right?" I thought about getting my .38 but thought better of it with him right there at the foot of my steps. With my luck, I'd get a ricochet right in the crotch. I stepped back in and found a heavy pole and walked back out. He was still there, hissing and daring me to do something.
Honestly, I wanted to take him out in a relatively humane manner with one good whack. I lined him up and cracked dat' cranium. All he did was retreat a little, bleed a lot and hiss a bunch more.
Damnit!!!
I walked over and grabbed a big ole' heavy shovel and came down hard across his neck. Broke his neck...that ought to do it. Nope, just made him madder and just to piss me off, he bled a lot more. Now, my family is coming out of the woodwork wondering what the hell is going on while they hear crashing from the garage and screams of "Die, satanic possum scum." He finally gave it up..I think. However, that long ass tail was wrapped around something and that shit doesn't turn loose easily. He's 40 yards up in the woods now.
Did I mention those things bleed a lot?