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No See Ums

Snaggletiger

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No See Ums
« on: May 06, 2020, 05:48:02 PM »
By Gawd, you know the board is slow when I feel the need to post about a freakin' bug.  But here goes.  I've always heard the term No-See-Ums and thought it was just a slang term for getting bit by skeeters and other biting flies etc. whilst out fishing or hunting or whatever.  No, it's a real thing.  Sunday, we met some friends at the beach for the day.  On the way out of town, we decided to get something to eat and hit a restaurant off 79 out of Panty Bra City called Boondocks.  Never been and it was on the way.  It's set on the water in a very wooded area, and since we couldn't go in, we just dropped the tailgates, broke out the beach chairs and ate in the parking lot. 

We kept getting zapped by these little creatures and no, we couldn't see um.  Then, I started seeing one or two and damn, it's about 1/4 the size of a gnat.  Something that small is not supposed to pack a punch like that. It was really more of an annoyance than anything else, but after about 15 minutes, it was a huge annoyance, so we loaded up and hit the road.  Didn't think much else about it until last night.  Those little red dots became welts.  And then they started itching.  And then nothing I put on them stopped the itching.  It's Wednesday and I look like I rolled in a fire ant bed.  My arms, legs and neck are covered.

I even looked the little bastards up on the Googled Chromes and yep, it's a tiny, biting fly with one of those long, scientific names like Ceratopogopanie or some shit.  First off, I'm never going to Boondocks again, and second, I'm not laughing when someone slaps their arm and says, "Damn No See Ums".     
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Kaos

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2020, 05:53:36 PM »
By Gawd, you know the board is slow when I feel the need to post about a freakin' bug.  But here goes.  I've always heard the term No-See-Ums and thought it was just a slang term for getting bit by skeeters and other biting flies etc. whilst out fishing or hunting or whatever.  No, it's a real thing.  Sunday, we met some friends at the beach for the day.  On the way out of town, we decided to get something to eat and hit a restaurant off 79 out of Panty Bra City called Boondocks.  Never been and it was on the way.  It's set on the water in a very wooded area, and since we couldn't go in, we just dropped the tailgates, broke out the beach chairs and ate in the parking lot.

We kept getting zapped by these little creatures and no, we couldn't see um.  Then, I started seeing one or two and damn, it's about 1/4 the size of a gnat.  Something that small is not supposed to pack a punch like that. It was really more of an annoyance than anything else, but after about 15 minutes, it was a huge annoyance, so we loaded up and hit the road.  Didn't think much else about it until last night.  Those little red dots became welts.  And then they started itching.  And then nothing I put on them stopped the itching.  It's Wednesday and I look like I rolled in a fire ant bed.  My arms, legs and neck are covered.

I even looked the little bastards up on the Googled Chromes and yep, it's a tiny, biting fly with one of those long, scientific names like Ceratopogopanie or some shit.  First off, I'm never going to Boondocks again, and second, I'm not laughing when someone slaps their arm and says, "Damn No See Ums".   
You have them confused with pubic lice
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Snaggletiger

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2020, 06:00:00 PM »
You have them confused with pubic lice
What?  I thought that was some form of STD I've got going on down there.  Lice you say?
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

CCTAU

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2020, 11:33:58 PM »
Boondock’s used to be pretty good. But they got a bit famous and jacked up the prices. 
However, it’s fun to fish right there under the bridge. 
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

GH2001

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2020, 12:40:44 PM »
Boondock’s used to be pretty good. But they got a bit famous and jacked up the prices.
However, it’s fun to fish right there under the bridge.

this ^^^. Got too big for their britches. They think people should wait 2 hours on their greatness.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2020, 02:55:47 PM by GH2001 »
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Snaggletiger

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2020, 02:47:45 PM »
this ^^^. Got too big for three britches. They think people should wait 2 hours on their greatness.
Well, while we waited, I was attacked by a swarm of Murder Hornets. 
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2020, 02:56:23 PM »
Well, while we waited, I was attacked by a swarm of Murder Hornets.
Did you have your mask on? Did you wipe down with Clorox and go straight home?
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Snaggletiger

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2020, 03:00:38 PM »
Did you have your mask on? Did you wipe down with Clorox and go straight home?
I don't understand what happened.  I had plenty of toilet paper.  And it was Charmin with Aloe.  The good stuff.  And they still ate my ass up.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Re: No See Ums
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2020, 04:54:54 PM »
Silly me. I thought you were talking about your balls.
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Snaggletiger

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2020, 05:16:46 PM »
Silly me. I thought you were talking about your balls.
I'm going to cut you - Reaction GIFs
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

chinook

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #10 on: May 08, 2020, 07:11:52 PM »
Silly me. I thought you were talking about your balls.

:kimclap:
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bottomfeeder

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2020, 05:28:40 PM »
Three words: Skin-So-Soft

I carry some with me all of the time and it repels most every blood-sucking insect.
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GH2001

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #12 on: May 12, 2020, 09:26:38 AM »
Silly me. I thought you were talking about your balls.

that IS silly.
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Kaos

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Re: No See Ums
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2020, 11:41:27 AM »
Sitting on my back porch looking at a literal cloud of mosquitos.  Looks like a bug tornado there are so many of them.  Don't recall ever seeing that. 

They probably have Corovid virus. 
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Re: No See Ums
« Reply #14 on: May 16, 2020, 10:40:45 PM »
Sitting on my back porch looking at a literal cloud of mosquitos.  Looks like a bug tornado there are so many of them.  Don't recall ever seeing that.

They probably have Corovid virus.
Got that here in Gulf Breeze, Fl. Sure it wasn't a termite swarm like we get this time of year?
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