I'm no chef. But here's what I normally do.
Meat Lean or not, who cares
Egg (or two)
Dales
Lipton Beefy Mushroom Soup Mix
Diced onion
Sea salt
Cracked black pepper
Garlic/garlic salt
Tiger dust (from Academy and just a sprinkle)
Mix all that up and make big ass patties. Put a thumb print in each one to keep it from swelling.
Grill that for however long it takes. It's good if you have a brand to sit on top of them, but that's a lot of brand so I don't always bother.
Grill bacon at the same time.
Grill pineapple at the same time.
Sometimes grill a portabella at the same time
About two minutes before you take the beef off the fire, get a slice of cheese. Let burger juice melt it. Swiss is good. American is good. Don't get cheap Kraft singles, though. They suck.
I like big buns. Sweet buns.
Stack meat, bacon, pineapple and/or portabella on a bun with onion, mayo and mustard on the bottom, ketchup (and maybe pickles) on the top.
** Never, ever mix ketchup and mayo on the same side of the bun because this is red and white and therefore prohibited **
And never put lettuce or tomato on a burger. If you want a salad you can get one elsewhere.
Eat.
If you want fries, the best way to do them is in a deep fry kettle. Take potatoes (skin on or off) and cut them into circles. Cut across, not down the potato. Like enormous chips. They're awesome that way.