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All good things must come to an end.

ssgaufan

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All good things must come to an end.
« on: March 13, 2013, 09:26:34 AM »
CINCINNATI, OH – Following a series of tightening regulations by the Department of Defense, the military’s leading food producer has quietly put out a notice recalling its Meals Ready-to-Eat made exclusively from horse meat.
 
According to Wornick Foods, it will no longer produce the Hamburger Horse Meat MRE, unofficially referred to by troops in the field as “The Seabiscuit Special,” thanks to new Department of Defense guidelines that all MRE’s must reflect cultural norms.
 
Wornick will also be removing the popular Spicy Mexican Horse Meat, as well as the Cheese and Horse Meat Omelet MRE’s from circulation later this month.
 



The Hamburger Horse Meat MRE has received a large amount of negative publicity ever since it was featured on the Food Network show Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives. The MRE was specifically singled-out by guest host Lance Corporal Eddie Gutierrez, a self-proclaimed “foodie” and “fine foods fanatic” who is also a Marine TOW Gunner at Camp Pendleton.
 
Gutierrez complained that the MRE was ”a tough, chewy sampling of questionable cuts,” selected from “medium-grade stock at best.”
 
Wornick spokesman Raymond Dickens explained, “Our usual response to negative feedback is to add more tasty supplemental items to the MRE so the troops can at least enjoy something.  Unfortunately the Hamburger Horse Meat MRE proved so unpopular that the last version we released had to contain three packets of chocolate peanut butter and a syringe full of morphine.”
 
While the DOD has traditionally saved money in the past by outsourcing its horse meat production to various Romanian “Mom and Pop” slaughterhouses, recent scandals have forced the DOD to reevaluate its policy.
 
Traditionally horse meat has been an essential ingredient in up to 50% of MRE components, such as beef, pork, chili, meatballs, vegetable lasagna, dried fruit, pudding, and blueberry cobbler.
 
The DOD guidelines would also prevent Wornick Foods from bringing back the popular Dog Meat MRE, which was discontinued in the early 1990s when its South Korean manufacturer went bankrupt.
 
At press time, Wornick was still evaluating whether the policy also applies to its African Macaroni and Cheese, Polish Tacos, or Soylent Green MRE’s


Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/03/military-quietly-phasing-out-horse-meat-mres/#ixzz2NQTNH721
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Saniflush

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Re: All good things must come to an end.
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2013, 10:08:18 AM »
If wishes were horses we'd all be eatin' steak.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Pell City Tiger

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Re: All good things must come to an end.
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2013, 08:19:55 PM »
I was always partial to the Horse Steak with Scalloped Potatoes, myself. Over in Qatar, we'd run our own race on Kentucky Derby Day - complete with betting lines. We'd gather 8 volunteers, have them eat the Horse meat meatloaf MRE, then make a mad dash for the row of porta-shitters on the opposite end of the camp. We called it the Doha Derby.
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"I stood up, unzipped my pants, lowered my shorts and placed my bare ass on the window. That's the last thing I wanted those people to see of me."

CCTAU

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Re: All good things must come to an end.
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2013, 12:22:44 PM »
I was always partial to the Horse Steak with Scalloped Potatoes, myself. Over in Qatar, we'd run our own race on Kentucky Derby Day - complete with betting lines. We'd gather 8 volunteers, have them eat the Horse meat meatloaf MRE, then make a mad dash for the row of porta-shitters on the opposite end of the camp. We called it the Doha Derby.

I like that. Seven shitters, eight runners!

One new pair of BDUs!
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Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.