Funny Contract language

[Tiger Wench]

I am working on a contract for the provision of well fluids and related services in India.  The contract has obviously been written by someone who speaks English, but not as a first language.  Given that this is a FLUIDS contract, which wil be performed by expat Americans, many of whom are from deep south Louisiana, the following provisions are even more hilarious.

4.2.8:  Contractor Personnel shall honour and observe Indian standards of morality and behavior.

6.2:  Women will not be allowed to work at Company work sites between the hours of 7pm and 6am.

Then the following Article appears - the gist of the provision is that Contractor will make sure of all potential concerns arising from the performance of the work (weather, location, supply of materials, etc.) that could affect his price.  However, with the other two provisions in mind, the implications of this heading take an uncomfortable turn:

9.1  Contractor to Satisfy Himself

[Buzz Killington]

9.1  Contractor to Satisfy Himself

I think my wife wrote this.

[Tiger Six]

4.2.8:  Contractor Personnel shall honour and observe Indian standards of morality and behavior.

I think this clause was part of the boilerplate specs for the KBR contract for our DFAC.

[Pell City Tiger]

I am working on a contract for the provision of well fluids and related services in India.  The contract has obviously been written by someone who speaks English, but not as a first language.  Given that this is a FLUIDS contract, which wil be performed by expat Americans, many of whom are from deep south Louisiana, the following provisions are even more hilarious.

4.2.8:  Contractor Personnel shall honour and observe Indian standards of morality and behavior.

6.2:  Women will not be allowed to work at Company work sites between the hours of 7pm and 6am.

Then the following Article appears - the gist of the provision is that Contractor will make sure of all potential concerns arising from the performance of the work (weather, location, supply of materials, etc.) that could affect his price.  However, with the other two provisions in mind, the implications of this heading take an uncomfortable turn:

9.1  Contractor to Satisfy Himself

Speaking as a fellow who has abused my olfactory organs by walking the streets of Bombay, I can assure you that the provision described in 9.1 is definately a viable solution. Indian women smell like bad curry and sweat.

[Snaggletiger]

Mmmm, sweaty curry.

[wesfau2]

Mmmm, sweaty curry.

Sounds like a band that would contribute to a punk Bollywood movie: Sweat Curry and the Pitstains.