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Hey y'all! Watch this!!!

GarMan

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Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« on: July 06, 2011, 01:39:04 PM »
Quote
Eyewitness: Fireworks accident decapitates Fargo man
Neighbor: 'I'm never going to light a firecracker again in my life'A 41-year-old father of two was killed when he lit a commercial-grade firework, an explosive that is federally regulated.
By: Heidi Shaffer , The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead

FARGO — An eyewitness here says a Fourth of July fireworks accident decapitated a Fargo man Monday night.

Police identified the victim as Jesse William Burley, a 41-year-old father of two, who enjoyed life to its fullest, said Burley’s stepfather Chuck Asplin of Fargo.

Chris Hanson, Burley’s neighbor who saw the accident, was packing up his car to leave north Fargo’s Riviera Heights mobile home park as tornado sirens sounded just before 9:30 p.m.

Burley was getting ready to set off a second round of what Hanson said he believed was either a homemade or illegal artillery shell firework.

“He went over into the middle of the street, and within 10 seconds of us talking to him, he lit it and all we saw was a cloud of smoke, a bang,” Hanson said.

What Hanson saw next immediately sent him into shock, he said.

“When I walked up to his body, it was nothing but his shoulders down,” Hanson said Tuesday.
...

http://www.grandforksherald.com/event/article/id/208805
 :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

AUTiger1

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2011, 01:49:42 PM »
There are plenty of jokes in this.......
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

War Eagle!!!

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2011, 02:06:18 PM »
Quote
Burley’s body was sent to Bismarck for an autopsy. There will be a memorial service at 2 p.m. Friday at Boulger Funeral Home in Fargo.

Fucking really??? Waste a lot of god damned government money on a fucking autopsy???
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GarMan

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #3 on: July 06, 2011, 03:06:29 PM »
effing really??? Waste a lot of god damned government money on a effing autopsy???

It's Fargo...  The town EMT, doctor, coroner, veterinarian and horticulturist hasn't yet figured out that losing your head can result in death. 
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2011, 03:12:39 PM »
Fucking really??? Waste a lot of god damned government money on a fucking autopsy???

My 88 year old great aunt who lived by herself for 25 years in the roughest neighborhood in New Orleans recently passed away.  She smoked a pack of cigarettes every day.  Drank beer.  Watched soap operas and ate TV dinners for every meal.  Her house was covered in mold.  There were holes in the floors and the ceiling, and she refused to ever leave her house. 

An autopsy was performed to determine if foul play was involved. 
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

GH2001

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #5 on: July 06, 2011, 03:17:55 PM »
Fucking really??? Waste a lot of god damned government money on a fucking autopsy???

The state has concluded that the victim died from lack of head.
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WDE

Snaggletiger

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #6 on: July 06, 2011, 03:39:14 PM »
The state has concluded that the victim died from lack of head.

I've never died from that but I do get mighty testy if I go too long without.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

Saniflush

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #7 on: July 06, 2011, 03:41:53 PM »
I've never died from that but I do get mighty testy if I go too long without.

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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

GH2001

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2011, 10:06:38 AM »
I've never died from that but I do get mighty testy if I go too long without.

I honestly thought Sani was gonna take that one first instead of you. But you were def. a close second.
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WDE

Jumbo

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2011, 10:33:00 AM »
I can see the first responders now everybody stay calm don't lose your head.
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

DnATL

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2011, 04:37:39 PM »
I've never died from that but I do get mighty testy if I go too long without.
Are you saying you have developed quite a taste for it?
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GarMan

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #11 on: July 10, 2011, 11:11:49 AM »
Are you saying you have developed quite a taste for it?

It's good for his skin.
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Vandy Vol

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #12 on: July 10, 2011, 03:17:05 PM »
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

Wincrimson

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #13 on: July 10, 2011, 04:47:27 PM »
I didn't realize they had bammers in Fargo...

Go fuck a rusty pipe.
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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #14 on: July 10, 2011, 05:47:06 PM »
Go fuck a rusty pipe.

Your warning meter has been raised.
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The Guy That Knows Nothing of Hyperbole

Vandy Vol

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #15 on: July 10, 2011, 05:52:03 PM »
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"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

War Eagle!!!

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Re: Hey y'all! Watch this!!!
« Reply #16 on: July 11, 2011, 08:07:52 AM »
Go fuck a rusty pipe.

You found the big boy button I see...good job.
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