Getting your rocks off

[Buzz Killington]

Rocked
Posted at: 2011-05-21 08:50:30 | 270 comments | Add Comment
Original ad:
Clean fill
Need clean fill rocks are fine. not much. cannot pick up must deliver. will take off you hands for free.

From Me to brad ********:

Hello,

I have some rocks I need to get rid of. I have several different types of rocks ranging from 1/2" to 6" rocks. Just let me know what kind you want, how much you need, and when I can send my guy to deliver.

Thanks,

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

well i need them to fill a small whole in my backyard so bigger rocks i guess? 6 inch would be good. i only need like 2 wheelbarow loads so not too many. when can you deliver?

From Me to brad ********:

6" it is. I can have a truck there to deliver any time between 9-5 Monday through Friday. Where are you located?

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

do i have to be there for the delivery? i work every day so those times arent gonna work for me. if its cool could you drop them off tomorrow? just tell your guy to put them on the grass at the edge of my driveway next to the shed

heres my address:

517 *********** ln
coatesville, pa

From Me to brad ********:

No, you do not have to be there. I will forward this information to my driver and you can expect the rocks tomorrow.

From brad ******** to Me:

great


The rest of this conversation is the following day. I looked up his address in Google street view to figure out what his driveway looked like.


From Me to brad ********:

Hey Brad,

Just wanted to let you know, we actually need to get rid a few more rocks, so my guy is going to deliver them to your house in about 15 minutes.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

wait what how many more? i dont want any more i have nowhere to put them

From Me to brad ********:

We sent a truckload with about 8 tons of 6" rocks. Don't worry, all the rocks are free of charge.

From brad ******** to Me:

8 TONS? what the fuck you better tell your guy not to deliver them

From brad ******** to Me:

you got that? DONT DELIVER THE ROCKS

From Me to brad ********:

I just got off the phone with my guy, he said he just delivered the rocks. He told me you didn't leave him enough room for all 8 tons by the shed, so he just dumped them in front of your garage.

Best,

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

WHAT THE FUCK!!!! i told you dont delever them you fucking dipshit! the fuck am i gonna do with all those rocks? you better get rid of them by the time i get home man..... how am i suposed to park my fucking car?

From Me to brad ********:

I am sorry that we had to block your garage, but you should have left more room next to the shed if you wanted them dumped there. Unfortunately we lack the necessary machinery to load the rocks back into the truck so removal is not an option. Also, my driver said he accidentally backed into your shed and broke one of the windows. We apologize for this. Consider the free extra rocks as compensation for the damage.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDING ME MOTHER FUCKER YOUR PAYING FOR THE SHED

I LEFT YOU PLENTY FUCKING ROOM FOR THE AMT OF ROCKS I ASKEDFOR. YOU DIDNT SAY YOU WERE DELIVERIG 8 FUCKING TONS OF ROCKS YOU PEICE OF SHIT!!!! USE YOUR HANDS I DONT GIVE A FUCK HOW YOU DO IT BUT IF I FIND 8 TONS OF ROCKS IN MY DRIVE WAY THERE IS GONNA FUCKING HELL TO PAY

FUCKING ASSHOLE

From Me to brad ********:

Brad,

If you insist on us removing the rocks then we are going to have to charge you a $500 rock removal fee.

Mike
From brad ******** to Me:

THIS IS SOME FUCKING BULLSHIT

From Me to brad ********:

I am sorry you feel that way, but without the $500 removal fee, we cannot remove the rocks. I realize you must be upset about your shed, so if you like, we can deliver another 4 tons of rocks as our way of apologizing for the shed.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

NO DICKHEAD WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT MORE ROCKS??? DUMBASS
THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT. I DIDNT ASK FOR 8 TONS OF ROCKS AND IM NOT PAYING SHIT. YOU OWE ME FOR THE SHED AND YOU GET THOSE ROCKS THE FUCK OUT OF THERE YOU FUCKING PRICK

From Me to brad ********:

If you aren't paying, then you have to keep the rocks. These are really nice rocks, though. I'm sure you will be able to find use for them. I have a pile of rocks in my backyard and it makes for a great conversation piece. If deer are a problem in your backyard, you can use these rocks to throw at them. They also make great paperweights. There are plenty of things to do with these rocks, so enjoy them.

Mike

From brad ******** to Me:

im at my house now. where are the rocks?

From brad ******** to Me:

oh FUCK YOU

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

[AUJarhead]

My favorite is still the concealed weapons one.

[Snaggletiger]

Used to be a DJ out of Panama City years ago that would pull stuff like this.  This one guy calls him and gives him all this info on how anal his neighbor is about his yard and especially his rose garden.  The DJ calls the guy posing as a deck company and how unfortunately, they got the wrong address and installed a big deck on the back of his house, torn down the fence and dug up the rose garden.  They were going to let him keep the deck free of charge.  The guy went ballistic.  Funny stuff.

[GH2001]

Used to be a DJ out of Panama City years ago that would pull stuff like this.  This one guy calls him and gives him all this info on how anal his neighbor is about his yard and especially his rose garden.  The DJ calls the guy posing as a deck company and how unfortunately, they got the wrong address and installed a big deck on the back of his house, torn down the fence and dug up the rose garden.  They were going to let him keep the deck free of charge.  The guy went ballistic.  Funny stuff.

Good stuff.