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Women

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Saniflush

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Women
« on: November 18, 2011, 02:08:31 PM »
WOMEN

A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait...Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

AUTiger1

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Re: Women
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2011, 02:11:47 PM »
Quote from: Saniflush on November 18, 2011, 02:08:31 PM
WOMEN

A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down.
She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.
She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait...Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.

 :kimclap:
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

Buzz Killington

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Re: Women
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2011, 02:49:37 PM »
Quote from: Saniflush on November 18, 2011, 02:08:31 PM


I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit.

Never mind.

So do her friends, rum and tequila.
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Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Snaggletiger

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Re: Women
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2011, 02:50:46 PM »
Quote from: Buzz Killington on November 18, 2011, 02:49:37 PM
So do her friends, rum and tequila.

Tequila makes her clothes fall off.
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

GH2001

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Re: Women
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2011, 03:12:08 PM »
But whiskey doesnt have a pussy.
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Tiger Wench

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Re: Women
« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2011, 03:31:47 PM »
Quote from: GH2001 on November 18, 2011, 03:12:08 PM
But whiskey doesnt have a pussy.

And if Sani keeps posting shit like that, he won't have one either.
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GH2001

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Re: Women
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2011, 03:42:04 PM »
Quote from: Tiger Wench on November 18, 2011, 03:31:47 PM
And if Sani keeps posting shit like that, he won't have one either.

And there really is no substitute for it. Any guy who says otherwise is lying or gay.
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Saniflush

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Re: Women
« Reply #7 on: November 18, 2011, 03:47:09 PM »
Quote from: Tiger Wench on November 18, 2011, 03:31:47 PM
And if Sani keeps posting shit like that, he won't have one either.

That's where you are wrong.  I refer you to the words of my high school economics teacher.

"Gentlemen there are only two things that matter in this world.  I am going to teach you how to get one of them and by having that you can get the other".
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Snaggletiger

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Re: Women
« Reply #8 on: November 18, 2011, 03:48:29 PM »
Quote from: Saniflush on November 18, 2011, 03:47:09 PM
That's where you are wrong.  I refer you to the words of my high school economics teacher.

"Gentlemen there are only two things that matter in this world.  I am going to teach you how to get one of them and by having that you can get the other".

Truer words were never spoken
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My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

wesfau2

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Re: Women
« Reply #9 on: November 18, 2011, 03:49:22 PM »
Quote from: Snaggletiger on November 18, 2011, 03:48:29 PM
Truer words were never spoken

It's science.
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You can keep a wooden stake in your trunk
On the off-chance that the fairy tales ain't bunk
And Imma keep a bottle of that funk
To get motel parking lot, balcony crunk.

GH2001

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Re: Women
« Reply #10 on: November 18, 2011, 03:53:54 PM »
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Saniflush

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Re: Women
« Reply #11 on: November 18, 2011, 03:55:18 PM »
Quote from: GH2001 on November 18, 2011, 03:53:54 PM
No, its Prostitution.

You do not pay a hooker for sex.

You pay a hooker to leave.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

GH2001

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Re: Women
« Reply #12 on: November 18, 2011, 03:57:29 PM »
Quote from: Saniflush on November 18, 2011, 03:55:18 PM
You do not pay a hooker for sex.

You pay a hooker to leave.

You are no rookie my friend.
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