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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Birmingham on May 15, 2010, 07:30:06 PM
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He promises he doesn't take steroids and is pretty sure that he had a tumor last season that was causing HCG to be naturally made in his body.
Well, I guess this puts an end to all the steroid rumors.
http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2010/may/15/good-thing-revote-came-cushing-spoke/ (http://www.timesfreepress.com/news/2010/may/15/good-thing-revote-came-cushing-spoke/)
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How this happened...
"Coach Carroll! They're on to us!"
"What? On to who?"
"USC! They know how we were so good!"
"We?"
"Yeah! They know about the roids. What do I do, coach?"
"It's Mr. Carroll to you, and why are you people becoming such a cancer to my life?"
"A cancer?"
"Yeah, you know, a tumor that's attempting to ruin your life? From Reggie to Leinhart to hiring Lane Kiffin to now steroid use."
"A tumor is causing issues at USC?"
"My god, you people are fucking stupid. Yes. Tumors."
"Ok! Thanks coach!"
"So, Brian Cushing, what's this press conference about?"
"Uh, I think I know what caused the drug test issue. Tumors."
"The fuck?"
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Kind of hard to fake a tumor on your pituitary gland. It's either there or it's not. I have not seen proof one way or the other, so I am reserving judgment. I have a good friend that had a tumor there, and he is a foot and a half taller than the rest of his family. It will mess you up and the surgery to remove it sucks ass, as they have to go in through your nose.
So even tho I hate USC as much as the next guy, this may not be the poster child.
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This quote seems fishy to me but who knows...
"The tumor I had was super rare and caused HCG to naturally produce itself in my body in the afternoon just before working out every day, and then again in the evening on Wednesday's and Friday's. This kind of tumor is rare but it's not unheard of, there's a lot of guys suffering from this thing. Sudden spikes in growth are common, some guys grow so tall so fast that it's debilitating. One of the things that makes my tumor different than all of theirs is that, instead of growing taller, I've got a pair of C-cup tits and balls the size of dippin' dots."