Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 07:16:22 PM

Title: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 07:16:22 PM
I have this dog I bought for my little girl about a year ago (of which really became my dog not long after) that I really of hated with a passion. By the way her name is Barbie and yes my little girl named her. She is a dumb ass dog that I have contemplated different ways of getting rid of her, but my conscious will not let me do it. Anyway, I now like her just a little bit better now. Over this past weekend, my boys were out walking around with some friends with the mutt following them around along with the other kids mutt. As they were misfitting around, a stranger came out to the road passing to another yard, as though in visitation mode. My dog commenced to pursuit of the individual with all her speed. The certain individual realized his demise and ran for shelter, and pretty damn fast I might add. After scarring the poop out of me (for fear of lawsuit) and the victim, Barbie was settled down to a mere bark and standing hair upon her back. Apology was given and excepted. Just to give you a location on the grid, this all happened here in Eufaula, AL. As we chatted for a moment, the identity of the individual was revealed to me. Joy exploded within me like a volcanic eruption and a new liking for my dumb ass dog. It was Courtney Upshaw, back-up LB for the Crimson Tahd. Let me tell ya, the guy can run. As we talked for a moment I revealed to him that me and my boys were Auburn fans. His response, "No wonder your dogs dont like me".
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: The Prowler on December 21, 2009, 07:19:29 PM
I have this dog I bought for my little girl about a year ago (of which really became my dog not long after) that I really of hated with a passion. By the way her name is Barbie and yes my little girl named her. She is a dumb ass dog that I have contemplated different ways of getting rid of her, but my conscious will not let me do it. Anyway, I now like her just a little bit better now. Over this past weekend, my boys were out walking around with some friends with the mutt following them around along with the other kids mutt. As they were misfitting around, a stranger came out to the road passing to another yard, as though in visitation mode. My dog commenced to pursuit of the individual with all her speed. The certain individual realized his demise and ran for shelter, and pretty damn fast I might add. After scarring the poop out of me (for fear of lawsuit) and the victim, Barbie was settled down to a mere bark and standing hair upon her back. Apology was given and excepted. Just to give you a location on the grid, this all happened here in Eufaula, AL. As we chatted for a moment, the identity of the individual was revealed to me. Joy exploded within me like a volcanic eruption and a new liking for my dumb ass dog. It was Courtney Upshaw, back-up LB for the Crimson Tahd. Let me tell ya, the guy can run. As we talked for a moment I revealed to him that me and my boys were Auburn fans. His response, "No wonder your dogs dont like me".
Did you respond with "nah, he just don't like McNurras"....
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Birmingham on December 21, 2009, 07:24:16 PM
I'd keep Courtney away from your daughter.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 07:37:51 PM
I'd keep Courtney away from your daughter.

My daughter is 3 1/2, dipshit.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Birmingham on December 21, 2009, 07:39:19 PM
My daughter is 3 1/2, dippoop.

not what I meant, but okay.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Token on December 21, 2009, 07:39:53 PM
Did you respond with "nah, he just don't like McNurras"....

My avatar hates you.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: AUChizad on December 21, 2009, 07:40:12 PM
My daughter is 3 1/2, dipshit.
Either Courtney Upshaw molests children, or Massengill does.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 07:44:15 PM
Either Courtney Upshaw molests children, or Massengill does.

Either way I got a round that sais they breath their last time on Earth.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 07:47:55 PM
Okay, lets get this back on track here.

He also said he was going to tell Coach Saban about his encounter. Sure hope midget man dont show up at my house, I'd have to sick my dog on him.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Birmingham on December 21, 2009, 07:53:07 PM
Good grief, I post a solid B+ joke at my own expense and within three posts it is turned into me and Courtney Upshaw molesting children.  What the fuck is wrong with you djsimp? 

For the record, since apparently nobody remembers Upshaw's arrest, thus not understanding the jab...http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=10961162 (http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=10961162)
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Token on December 21, 2009, 07:53:21 PM
Okay, lets get this back on track here.
                                         :haha:


Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 08:04:54 PM
Good grief, I post a solid B+ joke at my own expense and within three posts it is turned into me and Courtney Upshaw molesting children.  What the phuk is wrong with you djsimp? 

For the record, since apparently nobody remembers Upshaw's arrest, thus not understanding the jab...http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=10961162 (http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=10961162)

Om not mad, I only made one comment because frankly I didnt remember the arrest and yes i sure as hell sounded like thats what you were implying. The other comment would be for any individual as a whole in general.
I seriously didnt call you or CU a freakin child molester.

I am trying real hard to keep this thread from getting derailed. I need help in doing so.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: AUChizad on December 21, 2009, 08:09:59 PM
I seriously didnt call you or CU a freakin child molester.
I did that.
 :)
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: The Prowler on December 21, 2009, 08:12:26 PM
Om not mad, I only made one comment because frankly I didnt remember the arrest and yes i sure as hell sounded like thats what you were implying. The other comment would be for any individual as a whole in general.
I seriously didnt call you or CU a freakin child molester.

I am trying real hard to keep this thread from getting derailed. I need help in doing so.
First, Upshaw couldn't complete the "Show Stopper" on his girlfriend/pass around/daddy's ticket to inside information and now he runs away from a little yard dog named Barbie?!?!?  LMAO, what a Puss.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 08:13:43 PM
First, Upshaw couldn't complete the "Show Stopper" on his girlfriend/pass around/daddy's ticket to inside information and now he runs away from a little yard dog named Barbie?!?!?  LMAO, what a Puss.

I dumbass little yard dog named Barbie at that.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Birmingham on December 21, 2009, 08:16:32 PM
djsimp, fair enough.  Sounds like a good story in the original post.  Does he live close to you or was he visiting someone?  Sounded like he took the whole thing in stride after being almost killed by Barbie.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 08:24:21 PM
djsimp, fair enough.  Sounds like a good story in the original post.  Does he live close to you or was he visiting someone?  Sounded like he took the whole thing in stride after being almost killed by Barbie.

I'm not real sure, I think he was visiting. He laughed it off pretty good. Im glad too, I mean you just dont know folks these days. I'll have to tell ya he is a big guy. It was kind of funny to see someone that big running from a little dog. Its even funnier when he is a bama LB.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Token on December 21, 2009, 08:27:49 PM
Its even funnier when he is a bama LB.

Well, it's not like he could have been an Auburn LB.

They don't exist.  At least, not on paper.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: The Prowler on December 21, 2009, 08:37:04 PM
Well, it's not like he could have been an Auburn LB.

They don't exist.  At least, not on paper.
I think Ingram would disagree....

(http://images.google.com/url?source=imgres&ct=img&q=http://media.scout.com/Media/Image/72/722962.jpg&usg=AFQjCNGly4MC_m6q90R1MBX3i1sAXKYBQQ)
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Token on December 21, 2009, 08:40:47 PM
I think Ingram would disagree....

(http://images.google.com/url?source=imgres&ct=img&q=http://media.scout.com/Media/Image/72/722962.jpg&usg=AFQjCNGly4MC_m6q90R1MBX3i1sAXKYBQQ)

It's like looking at a lynx.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Birmingham on December 21, 2009, 08:44:25 PM
It's like looking at a lynx.

or a liger.

(http://www.ryanlyford.com/myblog/wp-content/themes/vigilance/images/sidebar/liger.jpg)
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 21, 2009, 08:48:01 PM
Dont show Courtney that pic, he might poopy his pants.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: The Prowler on December 21, 2009, 09:01:15 PM
or a liger.

(http://www.ryanlyford.com/myblog/wp-content/themes/vigilance/images/sidebar/liger.jpg)
That's pretty much my favorite animal.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: GH2001 on December 21, 2009, 10:03:12 PM
That's pretty much my favorite animal.

It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: LivnonaPryr on December 21, 2009, 10:18:41 PM
I love dogs, always good for a surprise or two.  Just when you think they are absolutely useless, they go off and defend the family name.  Bravo to your bitch.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: AUTiger1 on December 22, 2009, 12:23:51 AM
Good story djsimp!   The more I am around people and have to deal with them, I find the more I like my dogs. 
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Kaos on December 22, 2009, 06:37:00 AM
Either way I got a round that sais they breath their last time on Earth.

Just curious.  Were you drunk or having some kind of medical emergency when you were posting this story and follow up? 

I had a hard time deciphering your code. 
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Saniflush on December 22, 2009, 07:08:57 AM
Good grief, I post a solid B+ joke at my own expense and within three posts it is turned into me and Courtney Upshaw molesting children.  What the fuck is wrong with you djsimp? 

For the record, since apparently nobody remembers Upshaw's arrest, thus not understanding the jab...http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=10961162 (http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=10961162)

Thanks for the link.


I was having a hard time keeping all the arrests straight.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 22, 2009, 07:53:56 AM
Thanks for the link.


I was having a hard time keeping all the arrests straight.


 :rimshot:
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 22, 2009, 09:08:50 AM
Just curious.  Were you drunk or having some kind of medical emergency when you were posting this story and follow up? 

I had a hard time deciphering your code. 

No, it was a reference to one of the statements made that had nothing to do with the thread in the first place.

Quote from: Massengill
Quote
I'd keep Courtney away from your daughter.

Quote from: AUChizad
Quote
Either Courtney Upshaw molests children, or Massengill does.

To the defense of Birm.....I mean Vagi.....damnit, I mean Massengill, he was referring to Upshaws arrest.





Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 22, 2009, 09:12:56 AM
Good story djsimp!   The more I am around people and have to deal with them, I find the more I like my dogs. 

True that. The funny thing is, dogs are usually not bullpoopers or fakers, they are who they are and thats it. Thats why dogs are mans best friends. So, with that said, Courtney should thank me for for keeping Tito in the fences yard. This one would actually scare me if he wasnt mine.

Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Kaos on December 22, 2009, 11:52:25 AM
No, it was a reference to one of the statements made that had nothing to do with the thread in the first place.

Quote from: Massengill
Quote from: AUChizad
To the defense of Birm.....I mean Vagi.....damnit, I mean Massengill, he was referring to Upshaws arrest.



It was the method of expression that threw me, not the content itself. 

Take this for instance:

Quote
Either way I got a round that sais they breath their last time on Earth.


What the fuck?
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Godfather on December 22, 2009, 11:57:50 AM
Your dog needs to report to Jumbo ASAP!
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 22, 2009, 12:19:04 PM
It was the method of expression that threw me, not the content itself. 

Take this for instance:
 

What the phuk?

I chalk that up to inept way of expressing my feelings with a keyboard. What I was trying to express was love for my daughter would cause me to go postal on some sorry phuk that ever tried that poop with my little girl.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 22, 2009, 12:20:14 PM
Your dog needs to report to Jumbo ASAP!

I have been here several months now and have yet to figure out the deal with Jumbo and the dog reference. Can someone explain?
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Snaggletiger on December 22, 2009, 12:46:05 PM
I have been here several months now and have yet to figure out the deal with Jumbo and the dog reference. Can someone explain?

Let's be blunt here, shall we.  Each new member has an obligation to offer up his or her dog to Jumbo for the ceremonial first fisting.  It is a standard requirement of your initiation into our little club. 

No worries, the dogs love it.  And so does Jumbo.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: Jumbo on December 22, 2009, 01:26:50 PM
Let's be blunt here, shall we.  Each new member has an obligation to offer up his or her dog to Jumbo for the ceremonial first fisting.  It is a standard requirement of your initiation into our little club. 

No worries, the dogs love it.  And so does Jumbo.
If you dont get the jist, you get the fist.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 22, 2009, 01:51:11 PM
My dog is yours. You can keep her if you would like.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: AUsweetheart on December 22, 2009, 03:01:10 PM
You'll want her back , dj.....and you'll respect her all the more after Jumbo gets done with her.
Title: Re: I have a new respect for my dog.
Post by: djsimp on December 22, 2009, 03:09:13 PM
You'll want her back , dj.....and you'll respect her all the more after Jumbo gets done with her.

That leaves an awful vision in my brain. I guess your right, I would have to bring her back home to nurse her back to good health.