Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Kaos on October 15, 2009, 11:48:52 PM

Title: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: Kaos on October 15, 2009, 11:48:52 PM
WalMart sucks.  I hate WalMart. Even more now than before.

But on one of my trips in search of the KISS Sonic Boom CD, I did have the following hilarious encounter.


Extremely large woman (loveseat sized) was riding one of the electric carts.  Not an old lady, just an enormously large one. She'd managed to make her way back toward the electronics section in the back of the store and had gotten stuck in the middle of the aisle. Eventually an elderly Wal Mart employee came over to assist her.

Woman: This cart won't go forward, it only go backwards.

WalMart Employee: Here, let me take a look. Okay, you see when you mash this button it turns the cart off, the other button is the forward/reverse switch.

Woman:  What? Like this?  (Cart stalls because she turns it off by mashing the wrong button)

Employee: (Reaching out toward the cart) No ma'am, if you touch this button...

Woman: (slapping at his hands) Don't be messing with it,  I told you it was broke!  She stabs at the on/off button again and the cart that was beeping backward dies again.

Employee: Please, stop. When you do that, you're turning it off.  You can't mash that button...

Woman: Don't tell me how to drive no cart! I been driving these carts since before you even worked at the Wal Mart.  Now I want a new one.

Employee: Yes ma'am. But we don't have any carts in this section.  You'll have to go back up to the front and get another one.

Woman:  Now you listen to me!  I am NOT going to walk all the way up to the front of the store.  I can't get all the way back there.

Employee: Well, ma'am, you walked your fat ass in from the parking lot and I'm not about to carry you...

And he walked away. 

I scream-laughed.  I hustled three aisles over to keep from cawing laughter in her face.  When I got under control, I looked around the corner.  She was still in the middle of the aisle, jamming her finger at the same button. Backing up and then dying. 
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: Saniflush on October 16, 2009, 07:58:06 AM
How do you always see thes encounters?  Have rest of us just gotten immune to them when we see them?
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: Kaos on October 16, 2009, 08:07:35 AM
How do you always see thes encounters?  Have rest of us just gotten immune to them when we see them?

I am an observer of the human condition. 

I'm thinking of writing a book of "only me" stories.  Remind me some time to the story of the good faith estimate. 
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: CCTAU on October 16, 2009, 09:21:50 AM
I am an observer of the human condition. 

I'm thinking of writing a book of "only me" stories.  Remind me some time to the story of the good faith estimate. 

You need a camera. If you were to blur out the employee's face, he could become the Wal-Mart hero.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: AuburnChopper 3.0 on October 16, 2009, 09:23:46 AM
I am an observer of the human condition. 

I'm thinking of writing a book of "only me" stories.  Remind me some time to the story of the good faith estimate. 

You need to write that book and sell it exclusively through Walmart.  Right along side the freebie KISS albums.

 :silence:
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: russ713 on October 16, 2009, 09:39:54 AM
The story is funny, but the fascination with KISS is overwhelmingly odd.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: CCTAU on October 16, 2009, 10:11:04 AM
The story is funny, but the fascination with KISS is overwhelmingly odd.

It's his thing. I would bet that he paints his other thing up to look like Gene. His wife must like a little Gene (aka little Dr. Love) in her every now and then.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: War Eagle!!! on October 16, 2009, 10:39:01 AM
How do you always see thes encounters?  Have rest of us just gotten immune to them when we see them?

I see them all the time. Like Kaos, I watch people constantly. I just can't write them, or don't really want to. Now if we sit down and have some beers, I am a GREAT story teller. I just don't write.

When I see things like that though I do text like hell. I give play by plays...it entertains the fuck out of me...
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: AUChizad on October 16, 2009, 11:47:51 AM
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/)
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: War Eagle!!! on October 16, 2009, 11:56:47 AM
With a son that used to LOVE Dora...the "Haters no Swiping" car got me.......
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: lifesapplepie on October 16, 2009, 12:24:54 PM
http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/ (http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/)

Damit, why did you send that link...I'm not going to get anything done at work now!
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: AWK on October 16, 2009, 02:08:44 PM
Damit, why did you send that link...I'm not going to get anything done at work now!
I officially wasted a whole day of work a while back on that website.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: Tiger Wench on October 16, 2009, 11:25:44 PM
I officially wasted a whole day of work a while back on that website.
That is actually how I spent all of Thursday afternoon at work waiting on a response to a bid... it is worth it to read some of the hate mail they got.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: The Prowler on October 20, 2009, 08:18:36 PM
Okay I got to page 20....That's some funny shit.  There was one picture that I definitely think was staged, the guy with military boots, jorts, big belt buckle, buttoned shirt tied into a knot, and a hat on inside out and upside down.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: BZ770 on October 20, 2009, 10:08:47 PM
You could spend an entire year making Roll Tide Farks with about half the pics on that site, they are priceless.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: Kaos on October 20, 2009, 10:27:38 PM
I see that site.  Next morning I'm at Wal Mart in Fairhope because my wife is out of town and I'm trying to figure out breakfast for my daughter and she's not interested in cold pizza or an old pretzel. 

Been there 10 minutes when I see the guy below.  You kidding me?  I was going to put the photo on that site, but there's a disclaimer there that says you have permission to use their photo, blah, blah, blah.  So I didn't. 

Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: AUChizad on October 21, 2009, 11:27:45 AM
I was going to put the photo on that site, but there's a disclaimer there that says you have permission to use their photo, blah, blah, blah.  So I didn't. 


I doubt that anyone who has posted to that site has ever received permission from the freaks they are photographing to place them on a site that mocks them.

They have to say that for legal purposes, but I doubt they will ever actually prosecute you. They'd just take it down.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: AWK on October 21, 2009, 12:28:47 PM
I doubt that anyone who has posted to that site has ever received permission from the freaks they are photographing to place them on a site that mocks them.

They have to say that for legal purposes, but I doubt they will ever actually prosecute you. They'd just take it down.
Fact. Shark Week.
Title: Re: Speaking of WalMart...
Post by: Kaos on October 21, 2009, 03:31:13 PM
I doubt that anyone who has posted to that site has ever received permission from the freaks they are photographing to place them on a site that mocks them.

They have to say that for legal purposes, but I doubt they will ever actually prosecute you. They'd just take it down.

I figured as much.  Wasn't funny enough to worry with it.