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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Jumbo on August 12, 2009, 07:39:18 PM

Title: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Jumbo on August 12, 2009, 07:39:18 PM
I need to get out of it! Wes, Tayor, Howard and Steve any suggestions?
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Thrilla on August 12, 2009, 07:48:06 PM
I need to get out of it! Wes, Tayor, Howard and Steve any suggestions?

Show up to fulfill your obligations in a Grand Dragon costume.  That should do the trick.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Argo on August 12, 2009, 08:26:38 PM
I need to get out of it! Wes, Tayor, Howard and Steve any suggestions?

For the love of all that is right with our justice system, if you have any type of reasoning ability whatsoever, please honor your jury duty.  The last voir dire I sat through was the most painful 2 hours of my life.  So much tragedy and stupidity in one room.   :suicide:
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 12, 2009, 08:54:05 PM
Your ass had better find me on that Monday at lunch time if you don't get out of it.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Snaggletiger on August 12, 2009, 09:27:59 PM
Can't speak for the Judges up there.  Down here, you have to either know someone or have a really legit excuse (Lie) to get out of it.  Worst case scenario is every time you get questioned, say you know everyone involved...you hate lawyers....I was once screwed over by the system...ask if they're sure you can't bring your .38 in the Courtroom for protection.

You won't get picked and will go home before lunch. 
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Argo on August 12, 2009, 09:49:59 PM
Can't speak for the Judges up there.  Down here, you have to either know someone or have a really legit excuse (Lie) to get out of it.  Worst case scenario is every time you get questioned, say you know everyone involved...you hate lawyers....I was once screwed over by the system...ask if they're sure you can't bring your .38 in the Courtroom for protection.

You won't get picked and will go home before lunch. 

I always get a kick out of the people who say they'd believe a law enforcement officer's testimony over a regular person.  Works every time.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Tiger Wench on August 12, 2009, 10:37:06 PM
Try telling them you are breastfeeding.  Worked twice for me.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Ranger12 on August 12, 2009, 11:06:12 PM
You have and medical problems that a doctor can vouch for? I have had mine get me out of it before because of my back problems which makes it hard for me to sit for long periods of time. I didn't even have to go through the. Just took my doctor's letter to the clerk before the report date and she told me to even worry about showing up.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Jumbo on August 12, 2009, 11:18:46 PM
Can I say I've been robbed at gun point and I want the bastard to die! By the way judge how do you un-jam an automatic pistol?
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Tarheel on August 12, 2009, 11:47:50 PM
Can I say I've been robbed at gun point and I want the bastard to die! By the way judge how do you un-jam an automatic pistol?


With respect, Jumbo, do your civic duty.  Your county needs you.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: CCTAU on August 12, 2009, 11:52:16 PM
Just do your duty, ya bums.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: boartitz on August 13, 2009, 01:15:03 AM
It's part of being an American.
You may get on an interesting case. There is also a large chance that you won't be called anyways.
Around here, they have a pool that is WAY larger than they actually need.
I wish they would call me now since I am home and unemployed. It would give me something to do besides working around the place.
The last two times I have been on the list, I was working in MN and couldn't make it.
I did it once about 20 years ago and sat on a murder case. We sent that fucker off to be fried but the sentence was commuted to Life.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Snaggletiger on August 13, 2009, 06:02:03 AM
I've served twice and got on a case each time.  Jury duty is pretty cool IF you get on an a half decent case.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: BZ770 on August 13, 2009, 07:02:22 AM
I got picked for jury duty starting in 2 weeks on a Sexual Herassment trial.  Cant wait.  What's bad is it is my off week from work, so I am doing this on my off time.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Jumbo on August 13, 2009, 07:12:56 AM
I will lie to get out of my civic duty! I do have a bad back, thats not a lie.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: dallaswareagle on August 13, 2009, 08:32:35 AM
I will lie to get out of my civic duty! I do have a bad back, thats not a lie.

If you know a travel agent, and they will book a flight for you and send you the Itineray. You can use that. At least here in Texas.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Saniflush on August 13, 2009, 09:28:11 AM
Tell the judge you'll make a great juror cause you can spot guilty people at a glance.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Hogwally on August 13, 2009, 10:03:04 AM
Tell the judge you'll make a great juror cause you can spot guilty people at a glance.

Tell them you can always tell by their eyes, guilty people have beady eyes.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: AuburnChopper 3.0 on August 13, 2009, 10:34:49 AM
Carry in a baby rattle...  The rattle helps you focus...  They LOVE that.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 13, 2009, 11:05:34 AM
Tell them you are against death by lethal injection, because it's too humane.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: CCTAU on August 13, 2009, 12:27:01 PM
We should compile a complete list. Some of these are pretty good.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Jumbo on August 13, 2009, 02:33:09 PM
I can tell them I use my mouth better than a twenty dollar whore!
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Saniflush on August 13, 2009, 02:35:50 PM
I can tell them I use my mouth better than a twenty dollar whore!

I thought you wanted to be excused from jury duty?
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Ranger12 on August 14, 2009, 04:29:12 PM
I can tell them I use my mouth better than a twenty dollar whore!

If you do that, they may make you the foreman.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Tiger Six on August 14, 2009, 04:49:27 PM
Tell them that story about the stolen car, drunk Mexicans and the trip home from the Platinum Plus in Anniston.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Argo on August 14, 2009, 10:38:13 PM
Tell them that story about the stolen car, drunk Mexicans and the trip home from the Platinum Plus in Anniston.

Don't forget to lead in with a question about statute of limitations. 
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Jumbo on August 15, 2009, 02:34:27 AM
Tell them that story about the stolen car, drunk Mexicans and the trip home from the Platinum Plus in Anniston.
I was so lucky, Skoal saved me!
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: The Prowler on August 15, 2009, 12:16:20 PM
Ha Ha, you're screwed.  No getting outta this.  Keep me updated on what the trial is about.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Townhallsavoy on August 15, 2009, 02:13:35 PM
For every question they ask you, respond with "I plead the fifth." 
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Jumbo on August 15, 2009, 02:51:55 PM
For every question they ask you, respond with "I plead the fifth." 
I need my lawyer present.
Title: Re: I just received a notice for Jury Duty
Post by: Pell City Tiger on August 15, 2009, 07:02:15 PM
For every question they ask you, respond with "I plead the fifth." 
And then break out a 5th.