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The Library => The SGA => Topic started by: Tarheel on May 19, 2009, 01:42:28 PM
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I read this on IMAO and thought it was mildly amusing:
Know Thy Enemy: Nancy Pelosi
Posted by Frank J. on May 19, 2009 at 1:07 pm
With Nancy Pelosi in the news so much lately, I though people might want to know more about her. Thus, I sent my crack research staff to find out all they could about her. Get ready to update Wikipedia!
FUN FACTS ABOUT NANCY PELOSI
* Nancy Pelosi had to exploit her connections in government to get approval to build her gingerbread house.
* Despite her appearance and that she’s from San Francisco, reportedly Pelosi is not an old tranny.
* If the pressure used to stretch back Pelosi’s face were ever released, it could take out a city block.
* Every time Pelosi lies, her face stretches tighter.
* Pelosi’s favorite food is the tears of crying children.
* Humans have a natural, untaught fear of snakes, spiders, and Pelosi’s smiling visage.
* Nancy Pelosi was the inspiration for the Cloverfield monster.
* As an official in San Francisco, Pelosi personally took away Dirty Harry’s badge on four separate occasions.
* Common Pelosi rebuttal in political debates: “I’ll suck out your life juices!”
* Pelosi’s tramp stamp is the Chinese symbol for “dessicated.”
* If Pelosi looks at you and bares her teeth (”smiles”), that means she is about to attack. Shield face and groin.
* Pelosi’s iPod is filled with nothing but the sounds kittens make when they’re strangled.
* Contrary to popular rumors, Pelosi will not melt when she comes in contact with water. But she will multiply.
* Instead of Nana or Grammy, Pelosi’s nickname from her grandchildren is “Proof there is no God.”
* In a fight between Nancy Pelosi and Aquaman, Pelosi would claim Aquaman never told her that he planned to submerge his enemies in water.
* Pelosi has hired the Jim Henson Creature Shop to give her a wider range of facial expressions.
* Pelosi doesn’t shake hands and kiss babies because she tends to frighten people when she exclaims, “Mmm… fresh baby!”
* Currently, in San Francisco the phrase “The San Francisco Treat” refers to a bag over Pelosi’s head.
Link:
http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/05/know-thy-enemy-nancy-pelosi/ (http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/05/know-thy-enemy-nancy-pelosi/)
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Good stuff!
* If the pressure used to stretch back Pelosi’s face were ever released, it could take out a city block.
Has to be my favorite.
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As an official in San Francisco, Pelosi personally took away Dirty Harry’s badge on four separate occasions
Bitch!