I liked The Wrestler. I didn't so much enjoy it for the plot, but I thought it was an interesting look into washed up entertainers. Some people aren't so much addicted to drugs and alcohol as they are to attention and fame. Both lead to the same end - a washed up loser who never really accomplished anything.
Thumb.
In.
The.
Meat-slicer.
Ugh.
House Bunny - Predictable. Anna Faris is cute, though. It harms no one and is fun enough to waste time on. Shouldn't have wasted time putting Demi Moore's plastic daughter in it. The makeover on the butch pin cushion is also nice. There's a hotness factor there.
I wasted 45 minutes of my life watching this before I had the good sense to cut it off. I was ready to look for a gas oven.
It was harmless fluff. I may have had the sound turned off for portions of it, I really can't remember.
Never said it wasn't harmless. Just dumber than dogshit.
I'd watch a 48-hour House Bunny marathon over being subjected to any of the following Will Ferrel films for an hour:
Blades of Glory, Step Brothers or Semi-Pro.
They make dogshit look like Einstein.
I have "Doubt" sitting on the shelf. Can't bring myself to watch it. The idea of Meryl Streep clomping around for two hours in a black outfit sort of makes me ill.
I have "Doubt" sitting on the shelf. Can't bring myself to watch it. The idea of Meryl Streep clomping around for two hours in a black outfit sort of makes me ill.
I'd watch a 48-hour House Bunny marathon over being subjected to any of the following Will Ferrel films for an hour:
Blades of Glory, Step Brothers or Semi-Pro.
They make dogshit look like Einstein.
I have "Doubt" sitting on the shelf. Can't bring myself to watch it. The idea of Meryl Streep clomping around for two hours in a black outfit sort of makes me ill.
Step Brothers and Semi-Pro are future classics. This is horseshit! .....from planet Camel Dicks!
Is that a quote from one of the movies? That's turrible.
High School Musical 3 and The Hannah Montana movies were teh bombz. OMG, I luved it. ROFL MY COPTERS! :drool:Step It Up 2 was a instant classic.
I thought the Wrestler was an ok movie, it was better than I thought it would be. 2.5 stars
Three reviews today. Short and to the point.I have no interest in any of those movies so we are good.
Drag Me to Hell
By all means drag me to hell. Just don't try to drag me back to the theater to see this shit fest. It's a PG-13 horror movie which should have indicated the suckage immediately, but I ignored the warning. The girl was sort of hot and her choice of shoes was good, but that's where the quality ended here. The best actor in the whole thing was a damn fly.
Doubt
I doubt I could possibly have been any more bored. Oscar can go fuck himself.
The Reader
If I read aloud to you, will you let me fuck you sideways? And then can you go and kill a bunch of Jews? Because that will give me lots of angst. Kate Winslet's ass, Kate Winslet's ass, Kate Winslet's bush, Kate Winslet's titties all deserved best supporting actress awards. Nerd boy's cock and ass deserved to get the fuck off my screen. I hate movies that strain to generate emotion from improbable circumstances. Who the fuck is seriously going to live their entire life obsessed over a month-long fucking of a MILF when they're 16? Hell, I did this one married chick for six months when I was 17 and I can barely remember her fucking name. Maybe if she'd massacred a bunch of Mexicans I would remember.
You can go fuck yourself.
As the Batman franchise has proven, you can actually just start over. You don't have to tie up any loose ends. I'd have been perfectly happy with a story line that picked a certain point in the career of Kirk and Spock and followed their exploits. The unnecessary desire to try to tie up the entire series history really fucked the whole thing up.
In the end, i left unfulfilled and calling bullshit on the entire exercise.
It was fucked.
You seen Star Trek?I have heard from two people that Star Trek was a killer movie, I'm not big into sci-fi so I'll just wait until it comes out on Blu-Ray
The Wrestler was okay. I couldn't get past Rourke's bee-stung face. He looked like that kid in The Mask or whatever with Cher.
(http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/uglymask.jpg)
It was like a low-rent version of Rocky Balboa, which was a low-rent recycle of Rocky.
Okay, startin' it up again. Left with the intention of seeing Hangover...but ALL shows were sold out. My daughter was with me so we were limited in alternatives. One called Dance Flick was about to start and since she lives eats and breathes dancing, I decided to suffer through it.Probably a good thing that you didn't watch Hangover with your daughter. That movie was one of the funniest movies that I've ever seen. Towards the end, I thought that I couldn't laugh anymore, but I was wrong. I'm going to have to see it atleast one more time, just to catch the parts that I missed, because I was laughing so hard.
I laughed my ass off. I had forgotten that this was the movie I saw in the previews. It's a movie by the Wayans brothers and it's basically the same kind of spoof on movies like High School Musical and Step Up etc. as the "Scary Movie" spoofs. Corny as hell and a lot of racial humor. Two times the black guy and white girl are about to kiss, the first time Damon Wayans Jr. pulls back..."Ooo black girls, Uh yeah, you just go three blocks down and take a left". The second time, she pulls back..."Ooo white guys, (Holds up her keys) It's the white Honda with Coldplay in the CD player. And don't steal anything".
One side note that means nothing to anyone but me and my daughter. A girl from here in Dothan that we know pretty well did all the dance parts for the lead girl in the show.
It's one to rent.
Probably a good thing that you didn't watch Hangover with your daughter. That movie was one of the funniest movies that I've ever seen. Towards the end, I thought that I couldn't laugh anymore, but I was wrong. I'm going to have to see it atleast one more time, just to catch the parts that I missed, because I was laughing so hard.That would have been an akward movie to watch with your daughter.
That would have been an akward movie to watch with your daughter.
I was kinda' thinkin' that. But Dance Flick had it's share of uncomfortable moments too. One part is the typical scene where the teacher (Lady dance teacher) is having the first day of class and writing her name on the board. "My naaaame iiiiissss ....."LOL, yeah I could see where that would definitely be an uncomfortable moment...
She turns around wearing spandex pants and well....I'll let you watch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8687-wckwKo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8687-wckwKo)
First, let me say that the things I would do to Danielle Panabaker cannot be said out loud. There is something about her...
Your taste in women tends to run Howard-ish.
Speaking of way behind...I finally got around to watching a couple of movies this weekend.
Quantum of Solace
I may be the last person in America to see this one, so I got that going for me. Overall, the action was better than maybe the last few Bond flicks. Otherwise, meh.
3 out of 5 stars
Then, the wife made me watch what I thought would be a chick flick...
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
The storyline was very far fetched, but the movie was very good. Pitt and Jolie make a pretty good acting combo in this one. The one downside was that she never got nekkid.
3.5 out of 5 stars
Your taste in women tends to run Howard-ish.
I have not seen Squanto's Solace yet. You are not the last.Disagree, I think he kicks ass as Bond. Stratham while excellent himself, I dont think fits the image. [side bar]Have you seen Layer Cake, good flick (minus the end) plus she gets nekkid
I'm not buying that guy as Bond. Would come closer had they chosen Jason Stratham.
Between Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) and Mr. Brooks (2007) way may need to rename this thread Kao's way, way, way, behind movie reviews.
IMO Craig is the second best bond since Connery, and I like how they have taken it more old school, not invisible cars that you can drive with a fuckin phone. As for the movie itself Quantum of Solace while a good action flick, left much to be desired within the story line. Casino Royale was much much stronger.
I could also agree that Craig is second best, but look at his competition... :taunt:True
True
[Another Side Bar] I thought Clive Owen would have been a decent choice for Bond back when. I was disappointed when they picked Craig. However, he has been a change that the franchise needed. Did I mention I am kinda a bigbond fanghey bitch?
I told you I was behind.
I will be reviewing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on June 25, however. I'm geek like that.
I will be reviewing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen on June 25, however. I'm geek like that.Yeah we know why (we all know your secret crush for:)
[Another Side Bar] I thought Clive Owen would have been a decent choice for Bond back when. I was disappointed when they picked Craig. However, he has been a change that the franchise needed. Did I mention I am kinda abig bond fanghey bitch?
Yeah we know why (we all know your secret crush for:)
(http://www.newchatter.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/megan-fox.jpg)
I have decided that I would, in fact, fuck her.Baby steps!
I have decided that I would, in fact, fuck her.The first step is always admission.
She has decided that she in fact, would call the cops if you got within 150 yards of her gated house. She does not feel pivileged in any way that you would in fact fuck her. She does in fact, laugh at your bitch ass.
She has decided that she in fact, would call the cops if you got within 150 yards of her gated house. She does not feel pivileged in any way that you would in fact fuck her. She does in fact, laugh at your bitch ass.Hey she was fuckin Brian Austin Green, I haven't seen Kaos, but I like his chances.
Good review and let me add dogs humping is always funny unless Jumbo is present.Do the hump!
The performances were good enough although the acclaimed Javier Whatthefuckever completely overacted. Would have been better with somebody who could have played that role with an air of cool as opposed to his bug-eyed lunacy.
No County for Old Men
Where the movie fails is in its end. I realize that not every film has to have a tidy ending because life rarely does. Still, you don't build a confrontation for 90 minutes and then jerk your dick out and go "Ha ha, not going to come!"
Overall, just an okay movie. If I'd paid to see it in the theaters I'd probably want my money back because the ending is so ignorant.
The WrestlerShe looked better that I thought she would, I enjoyed the special features better than the movie IMO. The roundtable discussion with the wrestlers I watched growing up is worth a view.
I rented it today and It's one badass film and Marisa Tomei is still smokin, and she shows lot of tits in the film rent it for that at least.
The Wrestler
I rented it today and It's one badass film and Marisa Tomei is still smokin, and she shows lot of tits in the film rent it for that at least.
I already reviewed this movie.
Is the title of this thread bzzzwhatever's re-reviews of movies that have already been reviewed ? I didn't think so.
TRANSFORMERS
I've read the reviews. I've seen the universal pans of this movie. I've read all the problems the critics have with it and their utter disdain for Michael Bay.
Well you know what? FUCK them.
They bitch because the movie has no plot. What the fuck do they want? Annie Hall or some miserable shit like The Reader? Here's the plot: Lots and lots and lots of shit blows up. Robots brawl. People run and scream. More shit blows up. The good guys win.
They complain because certain aspects of the movie are unrealistic or far-fetched. What the bleeding fuck? They're watching a movie about CARS THAT TURN INTO FUCKING ROBOTS. That's the premise. So if they have an alien that can shit Chinese take out, is that really any further off the reality chart?
They piss and moan because Megan Fox can't act. Well I don't even care for her all that much, but let me be the first to say that I don't give a fuck. She wasn't hired to do Shakesperean soloquies. She was hired to look fucking hot in those shorts and those jeans and to have a sexy little sassy ass attitude. Mission accomplished. Yeah, I'd fuck this character. Maybe not Megan herself, but her character in this movie would get the stiff dick. And I'd damn sure tell her I loved her.
The movie was what it was. Like Pirates of the Caribbean II it wasn't quite as good as the first one, mainly because the first one set the bar so high that the second couldn't quite measure up. Doesn't mean it was bad. It was a fun movie.
Yeah, there's some unnecessary throwaway shit. The dog humping? What the fuck? That meant nothing and was a cheap attempt to draw a laugh.
There were things that didn't make sense. Don't want to give too much away, but after you've seen it ask yourself these questions:
1) What happened to the litthe traitor Decepticon after it converted? After playing an integral role, it just vanished.
2) Where the fuck did all the flashlights come from? Seriously. I want somebody to answer that one.
3) Do they sell lip gloss in Egypt? I think they must.
4) What happened to theAllSpark sliver? Another important plot point that just vanished with no elaboration.
Other problems? Why they had to add the shits, fucks and pussies to the dialogue was beyond me. This is a movie that kids want to watch. The profanity added nothing. Neither did the silly ass pot brownie moment. I had to explain that ridiculous shit to my nine year old on the way home.
I've also got to fault Bay for flubbing a pivotal confrontation between Optimus Prime and Megatron. What should have been an emotionally charged moment was completely drained of feeling. That's bad direction.
The movie was supposed to entertain. Fuck those snobby ass critics. I was entertained. My daughter laughed at the right parts and clapped at the end. What else can you expect?
Slumdog Millionaire
One of the best movies I've seen in a long, long time.
That is all.
Public EnemiesSo basically, if you don't know how everything transpired or if you don't know that much about Dillinger, then this would be a really good movie?
Starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale
The problem with going to a movie based on real life, particularly a life as well-chronicled as that of John Dillinger, is that you already know how it's going to end. In some cases you also know how they get from beginning to end. When that's the case, the challenge for the filmmaker is to entertain along the way.
That was the case with Public Enemies. I've always liked the gangster lore and was familiar with most of the pieces of Dillinger's rise, run and fall. Public Enemies really did little more than provide motion and characterization to the hundreds of still images I've seen in reading about Public Enemy Number One over the years.
Huge fan of Johnny Depp. Think he's brilliant in most roles. Unfortunately he falls just a little short here. His performance was just a bit too smooth, he didn't seem to have the hard edge he'd need to actually be Dillinger.
Christian Bale left me flat. His here and gone accent as Melvin Purvis was a distraction and kept jolting me out of the film. He's simply been in too many movies lately. I kept waiting for him to put on the batsuit or go kill a robot or something.
I think the movie missed its mark also by focusing on the John-Billie aspect and not giving enough attention to the gangster life itself. The differing styles between Dillinger and Nelson, forced together by circumstance, could have been a movie all its own. Instead it got a glossing over.
All that aside, the movie did a good job of following the chain of events without unnecessarily sensationalizing them. It managed to entertain while telling a story that I already knew.
I was hoping for a Goodfellas for the 30s and got something a little less. That doesn't mean it wasn't good. I'd see it again.
What the fuck, Eddie Murphy? You were once a comic genius. How the hell did you get to this point in your career?
Transvestite.
Hooker.
Kaos, dont waste your time on Observe and Report. :puke:
Thanks for the warning. Not a big Seth Rogen fan anyway.This movie reminds me of Will Ferrel after Old School.
Last House on the Left
Forget the remake, I decided to check out the original 1972 version of this film. It was one of Wes Craven's first films, was banned for 30-something years in Australia and has developed a minor cult following over the years.
Something to remember about movies with cult followings? They're often shockingly bad.
This one fits that mold. How anyone who saw this dreadful film could ever have greenlighted another Craven project is beyond me.
The premise is solid. Girl gets raped/killed, killers end up hanging out with her family who eventually exacts revenge.
But this film? Godawful. The acting was terrible. The camera work was hideous. The soundtrack was intrusive and perhaps the worst I've ever found in a movie. Nothing fit.
Oh, there were some good bits. In 1972 the concept of showing a blowjob and subsequent toothy removal of the appendage was probably some wacko poop. Having dad stalk around with a chainsaw might have been mindblowing 37 years ago. It was hackneyed today.
When you've got a good story to tell and good actors telling it, you don't have to go for the shock factor. This went all shock and wasted a potentially good scenario.
I hear the remake is similarly butchered (pardon the pun) and won't waste my time. Too bad a good setup has been now twice wasted.
Pics below are of the peter gnawing mom and the two girls the killers killed.
So they showed the BJ, and getting the ole talley wacker bit off?
Not exactly. But for 1972 it had to be pretty off the wall.
Showed her getting to her knees, showed him with his head thrown back making the "o" face, then showed him from behind and her ripping her head violently from side to side. He was fully clothed.
She ran to the pond gagging and spit something in the water. It splashed.
Not exactly. But for 1972 it had to be pretty off the wall.
Showed her getting to her knees, showed him with his head thrown back making the "o" face, then showed him from behind and her ripping her head violently from side to side. He was fully clothed.
She ran to the pond gagging and spit something in the water. It splashed.
Damn. That would be the exact opposite of a "happy ending".
My Bloody Valentine:suicide:
Surprisingly good.
Decent storytelling. Good pace. Plenty of gore, some over the top a little bit but the special effects were good. Well acted. The guy playing Axel was a little weak. Didn't buy him as a Sheriff, but other than that the casting was solid.
Hate now I didn't see this one in 3D in the theaters.
Of the three major horror remakes I've seen (Halloween, Friday the 13th and this one) this is tenfold better than the other two combined. Zombie's Halloween redux was ham-fisted and the 13th resurrection was just lame altogether despite the sexy Pannabaker elf.
If you do horror, do this one. It's not the kind that will have you terrified, but it does keep you guessing and wondering until the end.
Well done.
:suicide:
Kaos, I watched the new The Last House on the Left. The movie was very graphic, gritty similar to the New Halloween/Friday the 13th. Its worth a look.Uggghhh....My eyes started bleed after I read "Its worth a look".
Anybody seen the new saw movie yet?I havent yet.
I just completed watching all 8 Hellraiser flicks.
I had seen bits and pieces of a few of them (which I now recognize as 3 & 4).
It so awesomely fits into the Horror Movie franchise cliches of being ridiculously horrible by the end of their run, deteriorating bit by bit with each installment.
Here's the breakdown:
Part I: A pretty solid horror movie. Good sci-fi supernatural story that doesn't involve Pinhead much at all. He was no more central of a character than the other three Cenobites (gatekeepers of hell), except he had a couple more lines than the other one that could talk. The Cenobites were not a central part of the story anyway.
Part II: Brought back pretty much all of the central characters. Stuck to the original story, and expanded on it. Went more into explaining things like the Cenobites and the puzzle box. Solid sequel as far as horror sequels go.
Part III: The series begins heading downhill. The characters from the first two movies are abandoned, except Pinhead. It then becomes about him. They contradict the canon of the first two movies to make Pinhead a typical late-80's/early-90's Hollywood movie monster a'la Jason & Freddy who can recruit other Cenobites, which are now just basically zombies with super powers.
Part IV: Takes place in Space 400 years in the future. And partly in the present. And partly 400 years in the past. Only four parts in and it's already this ridiculous.
Part V: A murder mystery thriller with a bit of a supernatural twist. Kind of like a poor man's Se7en. Are you sure this is supposed to be a Hellraiser movie? Quite a departure for the series, but I guess on some level it's kind of cool that they abandoned the blood and guts and made it about Pinhead psychologically torturing someone.
Part VI: Basically the exact same movie as part 5, making it even more predictable. This one was made in 2002. Just enough time for Halloween H20 to come out and have been successful and them to try to steal an element that worked for it. Jamie Lee Curtis came back for that one. The main protagonist teenage girl also returned for the late Nightmare On Elm Street movie, New Nightmare. This must have been why the girl from the first two Hellraiser movies wanted to come back for this one. Clearly her part being the same girl from the first two movies was an element thrown in at the last minute. It is completely unnecessary to the plot.
Part VII: Unbelievably, has even less to do with the Hellraiser series than the last couple of movies. It was clearly written as a movie to stand on its own, and the studio that owns Hellraiser said "Hey, we'll buy it if you put Pinhead in there somehow and call it Hellraiser 7."
Part VIII: Hilariously bad acting. Like worse than most porn. Ridiculous and stupid story. Ridiculous and stupid lines. This tries to be totally hip and deals with online gaming. A bunch of teenagers are obsessed with a Hellraiser based online game, and through the game they get invited to some big party, where guess what, Pinhead kills everyone one by one. All the kids are self-aware of all of the elements from the Hellraiser series, seemingly because of the video game, not the movies. It's so god-awful it's funnybad.
Just thought I'd share. I knew each one would be worse than the one before it, yet I kept watching all 16 hours worth, and frankly, would have been disappointed if one of them had actually been better than the previous one.
You should be commended for this achievement. Seriously. I've always had an interest in watching all the "classic" horror films from the start to end. This was one series I never paid much attention to.I own every Friday the 13th, Nightmare On Elm Street, and Child's Play movies. I've seen all of the Halloweens and Puppet Masters too.
My favorite horror movies was the "Living dead" series. Nothing better than sitting amongst friends with a few pizzas, a few beverages, and a black and white version of zombies eating brains.
Damn. Those were some good times.
I own every Friday the 13th
Another one that I liked as a youngster was pumpkin head. I'm not even sure how many of those were made, but I need to try to find them. It's been a long time.There were actually five of them made. I don't think anyone has actually watched 3-5 though.
Part III was as good as any of them.I have #3 on Blu-Ray cheesy but the 3d extras are cool, Friday the 13th 5 New Beginning was pretty kick ass.
Worth watching just to see the girl on the left wearing a blue bikini. I do so love a 70s body.
(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2181/2279074991_962c98789b.jpg)
I have #3 on Blu-Ray cheesy but the 3d extras are cool, Friday the 13th 5 New Beginning was pretty kick ass.
Is the BluRay #3 in 3d? Because if it is? I'm adding it to my collection.http://bluray.highdefdigest.com/2298/friday13thpart3.html (http://bluray.highdefdigest.com/2298/friday13thpart3.html)
We Own the Night
Any movie that opens with Eva Mendes masturbating in a sexy black dress and black stockings is going to get high marks.
While she's little more than set dressing for this film, Eva adds much.
The rest of the film, after the awesome (and far too short) opening scene is rather formulaic. I've never been a big fan of Joaquin Phoenix because he always looks like he's about to cry.
Between Phoenix, Mark Wahlberg, Robert Duvall and Tony Musante (who played Toma) the film manages to put together a fairly credible story of the black sheep son who eschews his family's cop heritage, becomes a player on the fringes of the law and then gets sucked back in when the criminal element in his midst unknowingly targets his family.
It's a decent film, not as suspensful or dramatic as it tries to be, but with enough of both to keep it moving.
There are plot holes. Is the force really going to turn a uniform over to a guy just because he's mad -- with the admonishment that he's got to go to the Academy after he's gotten his vengeance? Would veteran cops seriously turn to this newbie for leadership in the field the minute danger presents itself? Would Eva really, seriously do brooding Joaquin?
The opening fingers in the crotch scene set the bar so high, the rest of the film couldn't match it. Memo to director: Save that for the middle after you've drawn people in with the plot and characters, otherwise 30 minutes have passed and viewers are wondering just what the hell happened because they forgot to pay attention, lost in the moment.
(http://www.sxxxy.org/eva_mendes-We_Own_the_Night-002.jpg)
We Own the Night
Saw it. Like you I only kept watching to see when they would show Eva again. Also, this movie just props up my belief that if you want to play undercover cop, you must first get rid of the stupid chick. The stupid chicks always do something that almost gets you or them killed. Why leave protective custody to go visit your mother, therefore putting her in danger too. But she's hot so she's forgiven. It's decent enough story line. Would not watch it twice.
K..2 that you need to see, if you have not...Inglorious Bastards and Burn After Reading.
K..2 that you need to see, if you have not...Inglorious Bastards and Burn After Reading.Bastards was a great movie, be prepared to read for 3 hours.
Bastards was a great movie, be prepared to read for 3 hours.
Could have been 1.5 hours in lieu of 3They made every scene dragggg except the end.
I agree about the playing up America attacking the innocent theme. I was rolling my eyes at a couple of poorly disguised parallells they were trying to draw.
You mean these quotes:
"It'll be a shock and awe campaign"
Numerous marines shouting "GET YOU SOME!"
"It just so happens that those primitive people are sitting on top of a gold mine that we want"
and also the multiple tribal tattoos.
The tongue-trill scream that the natives did was only missing a few AK-47 rounds blasted into the sky to complete the Arab stereotype.Don't forget the General referring to the tribes defending themselves as acts of terror that must be combatted with terror by means of a preemptive strike. :taunt:
Downey might have supplanted Johnny Depp as my favorite actor. He's not as pretty, but he's just as clever. Ironman, Tropic Thunder and this? The guy is superb.
Sherlock HolmesI agree on all of it. :p
Robert Downey Jr. is pretty amazing. Perfect marriage of character and actor.
A very entertaining movie. Bit of a muddled plot, but really well done overall. I'd see it again. And will.
I wouldn't say run to the theaters to see it, but I'm glad I didn't wait for the DVD. I go to the theater to be entertained and I totally was.
Downey might have supplanted Johnny Depp as my favorite actor. He's not as pretty, but he's just as clever. Ironman, Tropic Thunder and this? The guy is superb.
Sherlock Holmes
Robert Downey Jr. is pretty amazing. Perfect marriage of character and actor.
A very entertaining movie. Bit of a muddled plot, but really well done overall. I'd see it again. And will.
I wouldn't say run to the theaters to see it, but I'm glad I didn't wait for the DVD. I go to the theater to be entertained and I totally was.
Downey might have supplanted Johnny Depp as my favorite actor. He's not as pretty, but he's just as clever. Ironman, Tropic Thunder and this? The guy is superb.
Just saw Avatar.
My review -
Actual movie? Meh. I've seen it before.
It followed every cowboy and indian flick ever made, ceptin the injuns was 10 feet tall and blue.Was I the only one turned on by the main indigenous chick?
And did that Sigourney Weaver look hot or what as a Navi'??
OK, so I ditched work at lunch yesterday and went to see Twilight: New Moon. It was the only 11:30am movie besides Alvin & The Chipmunks, and I am taking the kids to see that Saturday.I'm team Jacob.
I have read the first three Twilight books, and seen the first movie on DVD, and other than overwhelming teen angst and self esteem issues on the part of the lead actress, Bella I get what the obsession is all about. Star crossed lovers, good versus evil, incredibly hot guy telling you that he cannot live without you, that you are his life now, that you are his own personal brand of heroin... and he is not trying to get in your pants. It made my heart flutter with the Romeo-and-Juliet-ness of it all. She is ageing every day, he is forever seventeen. Very clean, no sex, only a few sweet kissing scenes, lots of long, languid, drawn out sigh filled anguished looks at one another... totally appeals to the romantic in nearly any woman, regardless of age.
New Moon was a pretty good, light read. Again, she could have cut out about a hundred pages of self esteem stuff and teen angst, but if kids are reading a 300+ page book, so much the better. And the second romantic character gets introduced – the werewolf is the other man, so to speak, second to the vampire, who has left Bella “for her own good”. Nothing like a good love triangle to get the romance vibes flowing. So I was looking forward to the movie, a sweet, vapid, romantic distraction.
I figured the place would be relatively empty. Instead, I got the last seat in the decent section.
And it was mostly women my age.
And when the klutzy Bella falls and cuts open her head, and Jacob, the seventeen year old werewolf guy (Taylor Lautner), stands up and removes his shirt to stop the bleeding, all the oxygen was sucked out of the room as every woman in the place inhaled sharply.
Including yours truly.
(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/7638/taylorlautnershirtlessp.jpg)
(http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/572/taylorlautnernewmoon.jpg)
Holy shit.
And it just got better after that. Now that he is a werewolf, Jacob has a body temp of 108 degrees, which removes the need for him to wear a shirt. Even in the rain. And it rains a lot in Forks, WA. I may move there.
As an added bonus, as Edward (Robert Pattinson) is trying to kill himself at the end of the movie because he thinks Bella is dead, he strips off his shirt and starts to step into the sunlight.
(http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3764/0527robertpattinsonspl1.jpg)
Never has pasty white skin looked so awesome.
I left that movie, as they say, “all het up” – and that just does not happen to me. I am just not like that – give me real life any day. Especially over the most current tweeny obsession. But there I was, all hot and bothered and no relief in sight. Plus, I had to come back to work, just in time for staff meeting, and pretend to give a damn and a half about some stupid contract in Peru, all while my head is spinning with lustful thoughts of guys to whom I could technically have given birth (as a young teenager…)
But I did not care. Not one little bit. Call me cougar… Could care less.
And after we take our kids to see The Chipmunks on Saturday while our husbands watch football, my friend Becky and I are going to bring the kids back home to her house, drop them off with their fathers, and return to the theater to see Twilight: New Moon.
Again.
Carl may have a very nice weekend.
Was I the only one turned on by the main indigenous chick?
Is it weird that a CGI 9 foot tall blue alien with a tail, pointy ears, etc. Did it for me?
I'm team Jacob.I think the perfect solution would be Jacob in the winter time, because his skin is so hot and warm and luscious and... ahem, I mean, he would keep you warm.
I think the perfect solution would be Jacob in the winter time, because his skin is so hot and warm and luscious and... ahem, I mean, he would keep you warm.If I were a teenage girl I would want to wash my clothes on Jacob's stomach.
And then Edward in the summer time, when it is too hot to sleep unless you can spoon with this drop dead gorgeous guy with an ice cold body... ice, ice, baby...
If I were a teenage girl I would want to wash my clothes on Jacob's stomach.
If I were a teenage girl I would want to wash my clothes on Jacob's stomach.To hell with laundry. I want to eat ice cream off his stomach. Or at least start there...
To hell with laundry. I want to eat ice cream off his stomach. Or at least start there...He's so hot you'd be drinking the ice cream.
Kaos you should join Ebert, because your reviews are about as worthless.I chortled
Kaos you should join Ebert, because your reviews are about as worthless.
At least they are original and my own opinion.
As opposed to being recycled and regurgitated info from ESPN and other message boards that I try to pass off as "skreets"
I'll eventually review some films with which you can relate. Do you still have the Earnest Goes to... Collection on DVD?
BTW? Your brain joined Siskel years ago.
District 9What would you rate it on the Buzz Scale?
Just saw this the other night. Amazing movie. I highly recommend adding it to your Netflix list.
What would you rate it on the Buzz Scale?
Not sure what the Buzz Scale is, but I'll go with out of ten with ten being the best score.The Buzz Scale is out of 5 Stars....So, you'd give it 4.75 Stars? I shall definitely see this movie.
9/10.
It would be 10/10, but there were some inconsistencies in the storyline.
District 9 is one of the best sci-fi movies I've ever seen. It's not an adventure/action movie like Independence Day, War or the Worlds, or Aliens.
The Buzz Scale is out of 5 Stars....So, you'd give it 4.75 Stars? I shall definitely see this movie.
Seriously? Really?
5th grade math can be a bitch...
Not sure what the Buzz Scale is, but I'll go with out of ten with ten being the best score.
9/10.
It would be 10/10, but there were some inconsistencies in the storyline.
District 9 is one of the best sci-fi movies I've ever seen. It's not an adventure/action movie like Independence Day, War or the Worlds, or Aliens.
How that was so universally hated by members of this board, I'll never understand.
Was it? I thought it was pretty well heralded by this board?
As bad a movie as Gran Torino was written, produced, directed, and horrible acting, Clint Eastwood redeemed himself in directing Changeling! This was a great movie! Not only was the movie very accurate on the true story (based on what I have read) but it fucking sucked what this lady went through! If you have not seen this movie, you need to rent it...very entertaining. The best movie I have seen in a while!
Not to Hijack... but Gran Torino was HORRIABLE!! Worst acting I've seen in a long time! The movie had a great story line, but could have been soooo much better! Every word, line was predictable!
My review was similar. Just not a good movie. Stereotypes galore.
You know, I really enjoyed this movie as well. I enjoyed the way the entire movie was shot (cinematography), I enjoyed the transition from joy to anguish of the lead character, I enjoyed the way they portrayed the main alien, and I thought that the special effects were top notch. The movie also introduced a fairly novel concept of alien isolation and "civilization" in today's society, which Peter Jackson really ran with. Also, the shock of the gore during the action scenes throughout the movie was extremely entertaining.
THS, what inconsistencies in the storyline were you referring to? Just interested to hear your take.
K..2 that you need to see, if you have not...Inglorious Bastards .
Not what I expected.No way to drink and read all the lines on the bottom of the screen.
No way to drink and read all the lines on the bottom of the screen.
It wasn't really the reading so much as I damn near forgot what the movie was about halfway through it. Seriously, it should have been called "Inglorious Bastards and the Jungle Fever". It came together at the end, but the lone gunman bullpoop grew very tiresome.
Although I admit, someone getting their balls blown off was a nice touch.
I just saw Gran Torino last night.
How that was so universally hated by members of this board, I'll never understand.
Awesome flick. Clint Eastwood plays basically an aged Dirty Harry. But he's still a bad ass.
And all his casual racial epithets had me rolling, especially the scene where he pulls up on the three black guys harassing the Asian girl while her punk-ass wigger boyfriend watched. I was crying, I laughed so hard.
The Hangover
Booo. I got a hangover from watching this movie. Just wasn't funny to me. It had a few moments, but was hardly the fucking laugh parade I had been led to expect. I really hate when somebody says "funniest movie ever, you'll laugh till you puke" and I skip over the laughing part and just go straight for the puking.
The fuck with the beard? Spare me. I don't ever want to see him (or that fucking Jonah Hill schlub) in another movie, but I see he's being pushed everywhere.
Nothing redeeming at all in this movie for me. I'd already seen Heather Graham's tits and there wasn't a baby attached to them when I did.
Inglorious Basterds
I like Tarantino. Reservoir Dogs is awesome. Dusk Til Dawn is a fun movie. Pulp Fiction is among my favorites. Both Kill Bills are way up there on my list.
But this? Sorry, it just didn't do it for me. I enjoyed Brad Pitt's performance, it was awesome. But the story was really just stupid. I was right with it until the almost end. What the fuck was that? I understand creative license, but come the fuck on. What's pathetic is that 20 years from now, kids who watch that movie will be confused thinking that's the way things really went down.
Could have followed the same plot without the complete trashing of history near the end.
For that reason I just can't give it a positive review. I'm glad I waited on the DVD.
Noticed that Tarantino found a way to get his feet obsession on the screen with the Cinderella scene.
Two decent looking women in the film. Neither have any skin moments.
(http://usemycomputer.com/indeximages/2004/September/Diane%20Kruger.jpg)
(http://coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/melanie-laurent.jpg)
I wouldn't like a movie where Robert E Lee shot Grant in the face or where Jesus rampaged on the Roman soldiers.Sounds like blockbuster material to me.
Sounds like blockbuster material to me.
Creative license? Yes. Complete revision? No.
I wouldn't like a movie where Robert E Lee shot Grant in the face or where Jesus rampaged on the Roman soldiers.
It was just too far.
The movie was fair at best and I was a huge QT fan.
That is the whole point of Creative or Artistic License. It doesn't have to be historically accurate, and doesn't make a movie bad... come on, this isn't the History channel.
It would have been the same movie without slaughtering history. That's the point.Not sure about that...
Orphan
Why did I waste my time with this shit? Not a single redeeming thing about it. I've yet to figure out why no-figure, horse-faced, titless, shitty actress Vera Farmiga is a "star." She looks like Marilyn Manson and Sarah Jessica Parker had a child and then abused it (see below). And she's the best-looking thing in this movie. Unless you count the whored up ten-year old, that is, and I don't.
SPOILER: Getting that poor ten year old to dress up like a whore and then showing glimpses of her "unwrapping" herself bordered on kiddie porn and whoever is responsible for this movie should be ashamed, if not arrested.
Not sure what I really expected from this film, but it just didn't work.
(http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/vera-farmiga/pictures/vera-farmiga-picture-1.jpg)
I thought Vera looked pretty good in The Departed.
Nice ass, anyway. ;)
I thought Vera looked pretty good in The Departed.Damn that's hot!
Nice ass, anyway. ;)
The Proposal
No.
Good lord. That was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It was predictable. The storyline was beyond ridiculous. And then there was the scene of Betty White in full Native American garb along with Bullock dancing around while rapping "To the window, to the wall." That was without a shadow of a doubt the least funny scene in movie history.
And Bullock did look awful in the movie. Her body was good, but I kept wishing Reynolds would get with his old chick who was actually pretty cute.
Could have followed the same plot without the complete trashing of history near the end.
For that reason I just can't give it a positive review. I'm glad I waited on the DVD.
Again, it's not the fuckin' History Channel, dumbass. I suggest you rewatch it, over watching "The Notebook". Watch it...realizing that it's just a fuckin' movie, that it's not trying to be Historically correct, watch it for what it is...Entertainment.
You're retarded. Go back to watching Barney the Purple Dinosaur.No....I'm entirely correct and you just can't stand that. So, keep watching your girl movies....fag
Book of Eli(http://bp3.blogger.com/_VZaVT03Q2G0/SBEIH0RdbmI/AAAAAAAABpo/aR3kCjo4kSA/s400/temper-tantrum.jpg)
Fuck a bunch of blue weirdos. Go see this movie instead.
Go see it. Just go.
That is all I have to say.
stupid ass unrelated picture
Saw this one on Starz a few weeks ago. K, you may have seen this one since you watch a ton of movies.
Across the Universe. Wow - this was about the most 'different' movie I've seen this side of Deliverance and The Crying Game.
For one - its a musical. Second - it is set in the 60's during the anti-war movement. The acting is sub par but it makes up for it with the music scenes and how everything ties together. The kicker in this movie? The entire plot - every single scene - is set to a Beatles song performed by the cast in the scene spontaneously. It took a little getting used to, but after about 30 mins I was enjoying it and couldn't turn the channel. The characters have a lot of Beatles' song names - Jude, Prudence, etc....
All in all - I'd say it was a good watch. Long at 2.5 hours. I usually don't like musicals but this one was ok.
I thought your kind referred to these as "show tunes"?
Saw this one on Starz a few weeks ago. K, you may have seen this one since you watch a ton of movies.Oh no you di'int
Across the Universe. Wow - this was about the most 'different' movie I've seen this side of Deliverance and The Crying Game.
For one - its a musical. Second - it is set in the 60's during the anti-war movement. The acting is sub par but it makes up for it with the music scenes and how everything ties together. The kicker in this movie? The entire plot - every single scene - is set to a Beatles song performed by the cast in the scene spontaneously. It took a little getting used to, but after about 30 mins I was enjoying it and couldn't turn the channel. The characters have a lot of Beatles' song names - Jude, Prudence, etc....
All in all - I'd say it was a good watch. Long at 2.5 hours. I usually don't like musicals but this one was ok.
Oh no you di'int
But if he ever reviews a movie in my presence? I will phuk up his face. The internets are serious.
You sound like xaff now.....I keed...your cool. Review away.
and oh yeah - sue me.... :fu:
Have others not put reviews in this thread before?
I keed...your cool. Review away.
I wasn't kidding. He tells me about a movie to my face? I got something for him. He won't tell me about my movie to my face.
I tell ya what - I will review 10 movies that YOU LOVE - and I will tell you they all suck while pissing on an autographed picture of KISS and Tony Soprano and you will be smiling about it sipping the last of your Cosmo drink.
That better?
Who wears the chaps?
The Book of Eli
Denzel Washington gives another outstanding performance in this post-apocalyptic film. While it trades on the Mad Max dirt and grunge just a bit, it doesn't stoop to the campiness of that Mel Gibson film. Washington has calm menace down to an art and delivers the same "don't fuck with me" charm he displayed in Training Day, American Gangster and other films.
The story is well-told, the actor's motivations are generally clear and the film manages to paint both a horrifying and hopeful portrait of the world after we blow it up. It's rare in a Hollywood film to praise Christianity or to offer the opinion that there just might be hope and power in the words of The Bible.
This film does that, too.
Gary Oldman provides a somewhat credibile anti-hero but his performance is the only one in the film that seems a little over the top. He could have scaled it back just a bit and I think that the understatement would have probably made a stronger statement. Jennifer Beals was okay in her role, but nothing to write home about.
When I saw Mila Kunis in the cast I was afraid the director/producers had shortchanged themselves by casting a lightweight in a role that required a stronger character, but Kunis surprised me. She handled the dramatic role well. Her performance here might be enough to break her from that ditzy comedy stereotype she was in danger of being trapped in. Don't know that she's ready to step into "action chick" boots, but she's definitely capable of more than dumb slut roles.
I'm hard to please when it comes to movies. There is always something that could have been done better, could have been added or could have been cut out. There are only about a dozen "perfect" movies (Godfather, Goodfellas, Cool Hand Luke etc.). This isn't a perfect movie, but it's not significantly flawed either.
The writing, the timing, the pace were all excellent. The "reveals" were very well done.
It's not the kind of thing you'll go to see over and over again (like Godfather), but it's most definitely good enough to spend your money on. I'll definitely get it when it comes out on DVD, especially now that I know what I'm looking for.
I highly recommend this movie.
(http://www.wildbluffmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/mila_kunis_01_header.jpg)
Followup: Apparently most reviewers disagree with my perception of the film. It scored poorly with RottenTomatoes.com (44%) and had some harsh reviews. That makes me happy because I rarely agree with the dipshits there. Ratatoullie, for instance, which I found insipid and asinine, is one of its highest rated films.
Watched it last night...holy poop you and I agree on a movie. After listening to all the critics and then your review I would have thought for sure it sucked. I really liked it, especially the reveal at the end, makes all the little reveals during stand out. Good flick! :thumsup: :thumsup:
District 9I thought this movie had the potential to be really good, but it failed.
Based on a couple of good reviews here I expected more.
I went to sleep on this movie twice. Tried to watch it last night and dozed about 30 minutes in. Wrote that off to being tired, so I tried it again when I woke up at 4:30. Went back to sleep on it.
Finally watched it when I got up for good at 7.
Disappointing. I don't have to know everything to enjoy a movie, but I need to know something. Not enough exposition, not enough conclusion. Just left too many questions unanswered.
Guy issues a shoot to kill on sight order and after much slaughter, then decides to gloat instead of shoot? Out of character.
There was only one intelligent prawn? Only one prawn child? Just too many holes.
It was a meh movie. It didn't make the cut as an action flick and it fell short of the goal in science fiction. Glad I didn't waste any $$ at the theaters.
I thought this movie had the potential to be really good, but it failed.wait 'till you watch District 10....It's going to be the tits.
Into the WildThe stupid motherhumper STARVED TO DEATH. Yeah, just wander off into the wilds of Alaska with no planning, no preparation, no knowledge of survival techniques and hang out for a while... pick a few wild shrooms, get sick as hell and die because you are stupid. Genetic selection.
Anyone seen this or know the story?
Some dude decided to take Emerson, Thoreau, and Tolstoy WAY too seriously and took off to live in the woods by himself. He had a pretty kick ass journey to Alaska while living like a total hippy.
The stupid motherhumper STARVED TO DEATH. Yeah, just wander off into the wilds of Alaska with no planning, no preparation, no knowledge of survival techniques and hang out for a while... pick a few wild shrooms, get sick as hell and die because you are stupid. Genetic selection.
Hippy dippy moron.
GI Joe: The Rise of CobraAs a huge fan of GI Joe as a kid this movie is a travesty and all copies should be burned! Don't even get me started!!! It jumped the shark when Snake-Eyes had a mouth on his costume, and they decided to make the back story of Snake-eyes and Storm Shadow when they were 10 years old. :puke: :puke: The only redeeming quality of this movie was at least the babes were hot.
My cobra did not rise. It did not stir. It remained dormant throughout this colossal dud of a movie.
A wooden fence post could have done a better job than Dennis Quaid. His performance was laughable.
Dude I can only think of as Simon Adabesi from the HBO series Oz was forced into a hideous British accent. He is usually decent, but was horrible in this awful film.
Wayans? Fucking please. He's about as convincing in his "I'm the goofy black guy" role as either of the insipid Zack and Cody twins would have been.
The so-called French guy looked like a Mexican with a bad hairdo.
Rachel Nichols was passable but such a shitty actress I didn't really care that she had boobs -- not that she showed much.
Channing Tatum is a pathetic excuse for an actor. He had about as much chemistry with Sienna Miller as a pair of cardboard wildebeest.
There was so much wrong with this movie that there's no point in even attempting to go through it point by point. The action scenes were asinine, the carnage was absurd, the CGI was obvious and incredibly poorly done.
It set up for a sequel, but I hope people have better sense than to a) make another one of these turd bombs and b) spend money to see it.
God, what an awful movie. It was so fucktacularly bad, that they should have played it as a spoof and made a joke out of it.
ZombielandI'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch.
Not exactly what I expected, but a fun movie. It was no Raising Arizona, but it had a few funny moments and didn't take itself seriously at all. It's not laugh out loud comedy, it's not scare the shit out of you horror, but just a nice easy blend of fear and bemusement.
No angst over the crazy situation, no underlying social commentary, no deeper hidden meaning. Just four misfits (well, five for a while) making the best they can out of a really bad situation.
Yeah there are crazy plot holes. For instance how come the power is still on everywhere? And don't they ever run out of gas? Or bullets? But that really doesn't matter all that much because it's not really meant to be taken seriously.
Woody Harrellson dominates the film. He's good enough that you'd almost like to see him in a serious zombie killing movie, but then you remember he'd have to do pathos and pass on the idea. No, he fits better here.
The nerdy, nebbish guy is interchangeable with any of the other hundred or so nerdy nebbish guys who populate thousands of other teen films. I'm just glad they didn't get the Superbad guy (Cera) in this role because I'm a little tired of him.
Emma Stone confuses me. She's either hot or not and I lean to not.
It's not a movie you'll buy and put on your shelf to treasure for years to come, but on a throwaway afternoon it would be pretty fun.
Worth watching.
I guess in a couple of years some dumbass will show Inglorious Basterds and have his class thinking Hitler was murdered by a Jew theater chick, a black dude and a couple of oafs.I didn't know Prowler was working on his teachers certification.
I'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch.a bit???? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Zombieland
Not exactly what I expected, but a fun movie. It was no Raising Arizona, but it had a few funny moments and didn't take itself seriously at all. It's not laugh out loud comedy, it's not scare the shit out of you horror, but just a nice easy blend of fear and bemusement.
No angst over the crazy situation, no underlying social commentary, no deeper hidden meaning. Just four misfits (well, five for a while) making the best they can out of a really bad situation.
Yeah there are crazy plot holes. For instance how come the power is still on everywhere? And don't they ever run out of gas? Or bullets? But that really doesn't matter all that much because it's not really meant to be taken seriously.
Woody Harrellson dominates the film. He's good enough that you'd almost like to see him in a serious zombie killing movie, but then you remember he'd have to do pathos and pass on the idea. No, he fits better here.
The nerdy, nebbish guy is interchangeable with any of the other hundred or so nerdy nebbish guys who populate thousands of other teen films. I'm just glad they didn't get the Superbad guy (Cera) in this role because I'm a little tired of him.
Emma Stone confuses me. She's either hot or not and I lean to not.
It's not a movie you'll buy and put on your shelf to treasure for years to come, but on a throwaway afternoon it would be pretty fun.
Worth watching.
a bit???? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:It's from the movie
It's from the movie
Yeah, it is you little spit fuck.I'm thinking more like "a lot of a bitch"
I'm thinking more like "a lot of a bitch"
Three reviews today. Short and to the point.
Drag Me to Hell
By all means drag me to hell. Just don't try to drag me back to the theater to see this poop fest. It's a PG-13 horror movie which should have indicated the suckage immediately, but I ignored the warning. The girl was sort of hot and her choice of shoes was good, but that's where the quality ended here. The best actor in the whole thing was a damn fly.
Couple's RetreatI looked up that place after we watched the movie (St Regis Bora Bora). The rooms they stayed in were about $1200 a night.
Given the abysmal reviews I'd seen from others, I wasn't expecting much. And that's exactly what I got. Not much.
Kristin Davis, Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman all looked pretty good in their underwear. Akerman especially (see below). She just sort of did it for me.
The location was outstanding. Makes me want to visit that place some day. Maybe spring break.
But the movie itself was just sort of flat. I really wish Vince Vaughn was as funny as he clearly thinks he is. This movie had so much potential and it didn't even collect the low-hanging fruit.
First, I'm not buying Davis married to Jon Favreau. About as mismatched as you could possibly be. Not buying Bell being married to Bateman who is 12-years her senior but looked about 32 years older.
There were so many plot holes that the plot itself was basically a hole.
I distracted myself by taking in the scenery -- both the women and the locale -- and just let this piece of fluff movie drift on by. I'd have been pissed if I'd paid to see it in the theater, but since it was a Netflix mailbox bonus, it was just a piece of somewhat unfulfilling candy.
Fuck that. For 1200 a night it had best come with hookers and blow.It is all inclusive, maybe that is included...I didn't read the fine print.
I looked up that place after we watched the movie (St Regis Bora Bora). The rooms they stayed in were about $1200 a night.
No way any of them could have afforded it. That was the biggest of all plot holes. If you thought about that much, it chewed the rest of the film away.Yes and no didn't they cover this in the beginning. It was a special deal that is why all of them needed to go. Plus if I remember correctly, the rate was cheaper because they had a cancellation thus allowing their group to go. Finally they had to go to the couples side of the island.
Alice in WonderlandMy wife and I thought about seeing this the other night, but had heard that either you love it or hate it. Alot of folks said pretty much the same as you. We decided to see Shutter Island instead, which was a great movie.
Holy hell, what a terrible movie. I went into this with low expectations as I knew this was just being made for blockbuster money, but this was simply awful. The story was uneventful. The plot was rushed. Besides Johnny Depp's typical quirkiness, the acting was stilted. What kind of a 17 year old girl enters a realm of evaporating cats, rabbits that talk, a queen with a gigantic head who cuts off other people's heads, and walking cards with spears and doesn't ONCE show any signs of being afraid, surprised, or nervous?
Oh wait (spoiler alert), she thinks it's a dream until the very end when she realizes it's not a dream. She keeps saying she wants to wake up. She hates the dream. Yet, she keeps going along with the nonsense. I kept waiting for her to jump off a cliff and attempt to fly, since, she continually reminded me she was only in a dream.
Also, the ending is completely worthless. I won't, um I guess, spoil it for you, but trust me when I say that the end to Alice in Wonderland involves a business deal with China.
And the talent level is sub par. Anne Hathaway is the only attractive girl in the movie, but she flings her hands around like a child with severe mental retardation (not trying to be mean or funny; that's just how she looked). Also, she was caked with dark colored make up. Looked like someone smeared poo all over her.
Zero stars out of ten.
My wife and I thought about seeing this the other night, but had heard that either you love it or hate it. Alot of folks said pretty much the same as you.
I don't use K's movie reviews for much but entertainment value. Our tastes are very different.
I love Burton, Depp and Carter. I will be seeing this.
I don't use K's movie reviews for much but entertainment value. Our tastes are very different.
Just an fyi...that was townhall's review.
I love them all as well.
Depp and Carter I can forgive. Carter seemed to be directed to be like the villain in a kid's movie. Depp saved the show.
Burton? The man rushed the script and spent more time evaluating the CGI instead of evaluating the lead role's acting. That was the main problem. Alice sucked.
It's X-rated? :gig:
No...that would be this version...which I do have a copy of.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8fDfZPN-6Y#ws (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8fDfZPN-6Y#ws)
No...that would be this version...which I do have a copy of.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8fDfZPN-6Y#ws (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8fDfZPN-6Y#ws)
I imagine it sits right next to your copy ofFTFY Why yes it does.Deep ThroatDebbie Does Dallas?
FTFY Why yes it does.
I love them all as well.
Depp and Carter I can forgive. Carter seemed to be directed to be like the villain in a kid's movie. Depp saved the show.
Burton? The man rushed the script and spent more time evaluating the CGI instead of evaluating the lead role's acting. That was the main problem. Alice sucked.
The Hurt Locker
Gotta disagree with our resident Ebert here. While not what I would typically think the Academy would pick as Movie of the year. Frankly, because I usually have no interest in the Movie of the Year. I thought hurt locker told a great story, and something that does probably ring true with some of our younger service men and women. That being the adrenaline from battle and then the subsequent return home to the mundane existence. I really didn't notice any anti war propaganda from our usually liberal Hollywood. I recommend!
Did you Hear about the Morgans
Ok first off chick flick...which I knew going in, but sometimes you gotta bite the bullet. I actually usually like the bumbling comedic routine of Hugh Grant who pretty much plays the same character in every romantic comedy, however this one was atrocious. Sarah Jessica Parker....blah or should I say naaaaaah. Premise...The Morgans a separated couple, due to Grant's infidelity, are very successful New Yorkers. When they both witness a murder they must be put in protective custody in Ray, Wyoming (a one stoplight town). Hilarity ensues or actually it doesn't, im sure you can pretty much figure the plot out from here. Their custody Marshall's played by Sam Elliot (oh Sam WTF are you doing in this turd) and Mary Steenburgen along twith the town help the Marshall's to reconcile while in protective custody.
The only bright spot in this entire movie is Wilford Brimley who plays a grumpy redneck cafe owner. Avoid!
You're officially a pussy. You like Hugh Grant? I fucking loooooooooooooathe that asshole.
You're officially a pussy. You like Hugh Grant? I fucking loooooooooooooathe that asshole.
You mean, you don't, you know, well, jolly me, by, you, what I mean, oh what was I saying, oh yes, the question, quite right, yes, um, you don't, like the way, he, the actor, uh, um, Hugh Grant, like the way, he, um, studders, um, throughout, a, uh, film?
Says the guy who went to see Where the Wild Things Are on opening night.
Nailed it. Hate, hate, hate that dude. To top it off: he left Hurley at home to chase hookers. I love hookers, but I love Hurley more.I'm not in love with the dude, I just liked some of the movies he was in. Did I not say he plays a bumbling dope through out every movie. I am sure he cares that you hate him...he probably cries all the way to the bank.
Fucking right I did.
I'm not in love with the dude, I just liked some of the movies he was in. Did I not say he plays a bumbling dope through out every movie. I am sure he cares that you hate him...he probably cries all the way to the bank.
Nice and defensive....just the way I like you.I miss your touch
Final Destination 4, 3DI got you beat...Observe and Report...worst piece of shit I have ever witnessed. I want the 1:45 it stole from my life.
I hope that was the final destination. Probably the worst overall movie I've seen in a while. The acting was atrocious, the plot even more asinine than the previous FD movies (the first two of which were good for what they were) and the contrivances simply ludicrous. I'd give this movie a 0 on a scale of 10 to 20.
Retire the franchise.
Plenty of extras on the BluRay version, but who gives a shit? The "alternate endings" were even worse than the official one.
I got you beat...Observe and Report...worst piece of shit I have ever witnessed. I want the 1:45 it stole from my life.Completely disagree here.
Has anyone seen The Box yet. If so, can somebody please explain to me what the fuck it was about???
In the same night I saw another movie of note: The Box.
It's Richard Kelley (Donnie Darko) so expect weirdness to the point of confusion.
This was a 70's period piece and it really felt like I was watching a movie from that time. It felt like The Shining with a little bit of Creepshow thrown in for good measure, but with better special effects. Very Stanley Kubrick-esque.
Completely disagree here.FAIL
That movie was funny as fuck if you like dark comedies.
Completely disagree here.
FAILAnna Farris passed out drunk and puking on herself as he fucked her anyway, and then commanding that he "Don't stop mothafucka" was dark comedy gold, IMO.
I like dark comedies. Insert the Big Lebowski, Clerks, Fargo, Raising Arizona.
I liked Pineapple Express (quasi Dark)..I got it... it was funny...not necessarily Rogen, but I laughed a lot.
This is a Fail of not funny proportions.
FAIL
I like dark comedies. Insert the Big Lebowski, Clerks, Fargo, Raising Arizona.
I liked Pineapple Express (quasi Dark)..I got it... it was funny...not necessarily Rogen, but I laughed a lot.
No joke, you are the only person I've every heard say Observe and Report was anything other than buzzard shit.You're saying yourself that their sense of comedy is out of whack.
When it was out a bunch of my daughter's friends were at the house and went to the theater to see it. College age, the type who try to tell me Kat Williams is the funniest guy who ever lived, who think The Hangover (what a dud) is high comedy and Superbad is the Fast Times at Ridgemont High of their generation. To a man they declared Observe and Report the worst movie ever.
When you can't sway a gaggle of mush-headed college frosh and sophomores? F.A.I.L.
You're saying yourself that their sense of comedy is out of whack.
If you're looking for Dane Cook, Hugh Grant, or Katt Williams comedy, this is not your bag.
I'm saying myself that they are the audience this movie was geared toward and they rejected it out of hand as schlock.Except it's not. I'm not surprised at all they wouldn't like it. Maybe it was mis-marketed to try to appeal to fans of other Rogan flicks like Knocked Up and Superbad, but it's far from one of those types of movies.
You are the only person I've ever, ever, ever heard give this movie any positive comment at all and that spans multi-generations.
From my perspective, I expected nothing less than absolute suckage. I'm not a Seth Rogen fan. His movies are rarely funny to me.
Jody Hill's excellent and sure-to-be divisive Observe and Report takes the average comedy about goofy authority figures and turns it on its head. Hill, Seth Rogen, and the rest of the talented team behind this truly twisted movie recognize that if one was to honestly look at characters like Paul Blart or any of the morons from the Police Academy train wrecks, they would have to admit that they're probably a little crazy. Ronnie Barnhardt, the lead in Observe and Report, is a LOT crazy. This dark, subversive film was reportedly inspired by Taxi Driver, and, yes, it’s “Travis Bickle meets comedy." And it's not for the weak of heart either. Heavy drug use, male frontal nudity, date rape, alcoholism, extreme violence - Observe and Report makes last year's "dark comedy" Pineapple Express look like Thomas the Tank Engine in comparison. There will be many, many people who loathe Observe and Report, the same folks who were turned off by dark comedies like Bad Santa or Burn After Reading. I am not one of those folks.
The commercials that have been advertising Observe and Report as another broad comedy with Seth Rogen and Anna Faris are almost hysterically misleading. Not only does Faris have a small role, but O&R is far from your average laugh-fest and couldn’t be LESS of a date movie. Rogen plays Ronnie, a young man who works as the head of security at a local mall and dreams of being the hero. But he doesn't dream of being your average hero. He dreams of blowing away bad guys with his shotgun and being lauded as the savior of the people only after waves of violence. To be blunt, Ronnie is nuts. He takes drugs to deal with his problems, but he's a dangerous individual with a nightstick who wishes he could take a gun to work.
Ronnie sees a chance to fulfill what he sees as his world-changing ambition when a flasher happens into his mall parking lot. One of the young ladies who ends up on the wrong side of the pervert's raincoat happens to be Ronnie's love interest, makeup-counter saleswoman Brandi (Anna Faris). In his new fantasy scenario, Ronnie can get the bad guy and save the girl at the same time. Helping Ronnie in his quest are his right-hand man Dennis (Michael Pena) and twin guards John and Matt (John and Matt Yuan). As he ignores the flirtations of the one person in the film who might actually be able to effectively reach Ronnie emotionally, super-cute coffee girl Nell (Collette Wolfe), our poor hero (although I use that term loosely) descends deeper into madness.
Driving the car that takes Ronnie to crazy town is Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta), someone who immediately recognizes that this mall cop will never be anything but and puts him in his place. Ronnie's answer to the alpha male challenge presented by Harrison is to try and become a cop himself. In his mind, he'll be a gun-toting police officer with a hot girlfriend and he'll put the flasher behind bars. It all sounds great, right?
It might be great for your average security guard, but like I said, Ronnie's not all there. Hill and Rogen have created a fascinating character, someone who you're not really supposed to like, much less root for. Ronnie will make you physically uncomfortable in more ways than one, and the film has an unbelievable way of ratcheting up the tension. I honestly had no idea where Observe and Report was going. If everyone in the film had gone down in a hail of bullets (and I'm not saying they don't), I wouldn't have been remotely surprised.
And that's why Observe and Report works. Not only does it feature Rogen's best performance to date but also it's that one thing that modern comedies so rarely end up being - completely unpredictable. Even if you adore Paul Blart: Mall Cop, you have to admit, once you heard the title, you could close your eyes and outline the basic plot. You will NEVER see the end of Observe and Report coming. For a critic who sees wave after wave of predictable junk, the originality on display in this sure-to-be underrated screenplay was invigorating.
Many people will walk out of Observe and Report. Many people will tell their friends how awful a film it is and loathe it. I don’t blame them and totally understand that viewpoint. And, in some ways, that's why I like it. Sometimes comedy should be dangerous. Sometimes comedy should be divisive. Sometimes comedy should piss people off. Not every laugh-fest needs to be delivered to the same widest audience possible funny bone. Observe and Report walks a high-wire of tension and dark, dark humor. Even if you don't think it makes it to the other side, there's something truly remarkable about the attempt.
Wow, I'm here to say that I was wrong. Awful movie.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much Disney and not nearly enough Burton. Carter was great. Depp was uncharacteristically unimpressive.
I would like to see Burton take a mulligan on this one without being handcuffed by the fucking mouse.
Observe and Report is a steaming pile of turds that should not be uttered in the same story. It was not funny.
Many people will walk out of Observe and Report. Many people will tell their friends how awful a film it is and loathe it. I don’t blame them and totally understand that viewpoint. And, in some ways, that's why I like it. Sometimes comedy should be dangerous. Sometimes comedy should be divisive. Sometimes comedy should piss people off. Not every laugh-fest needs to be delivered to the same widest audience possible funny bone. Observe and Report walks a high-wire of tension and dark, dark humor. Even if you don't think it makes it to the other side, there's something truly remarkable about the attempt.
Better watch out. Disagreeing with Chad means you're less erudite and unable to logically process.Brian tends to like broad comedies. Actually, I can't think of another comedy he didn't enjoy.
Those aren't dark. Particularly not Pineapple Express.
For dark comedy see:Very Bad Things.Bad Santa.
Brian tends to like broad comedies. Actually, I can't think of another comedy he didn't enjoy.
You though...I'm genuinely curious. Can you name me one comedy that you actually enjoyed?
I'm guessing you'll probably name something slapstickish from the 70's like Airplane and Blazing Saddles, which I love as well, but I'm guessing you dislike more recent films with similar humor because you apply a "good ol' days" filter to the former.
Can you name a single comedy from the past decade that gets the Kaos seal of approval?
Past decade...
Well, Raising Arizona is one of the classics. What decade is that from? (I liked Airplane, hated Blazing Saddles).
Office Space. What decade was that from?
I found Naopleon Dynamite sad and amusing.
Dazed and Confused (again, what decade?)
Tropic Thunder was elevated by Robert Downey Jr.'s performance.
Animal House/Ghostbusters/Trading Places/Caddyshack -- that was like 30 years ago?
I liked Little Miss Sunshine, but it was still somewhat lacking.
O Brother Where Art Thou had some quality, particularly in Clooney's self-deprecating performance.
Thought Timothy Olyphant was good in The Girl Next Door.
Funny is not, at least in my opinion, predicated on how many times you can show your ass in baggy underwear or say the word fuck. Comedy isn't derived from crudity. I like comedy that's got intelligence. It's hard to tell a good joke or make people laugh with wit. It's easy to fart and get people to laugh. I don't like farters. I do think farts are funny, but a constant stream of farts just begins to smell. That's all most new comedies have.
The crop of SNL veterans since Ackroyd, Chase, Murray, Murphy, etc. -- Rob Schneider, David Spade, Adam Sandler, Ferrel etc. -- suck and suck hard. Sandler is singluarly untalented although he did have one decent film. Same for Ferrell. One good film (Elf). They pander to the lowest common denominator because they know a nation of Beavis and Buttheads will flock to their fart and fuck fests on the opening weekend and make them money.
So of the past decade (read: this century), you enjoyed one comedy for being sad & amusing, two (very broad comedies) for one actor's performance per film (Tropic Thunder was particularly overrated, IMO), and another that you found "still lacking". I'll be generous and count the one you found had "some quality", although it was released just barely over a decade ago.
So in your estimation there has been one tolerable comedy film released every other year over the past decade.
No good ones.
I was going off the top of my head. I don't know. I don't have a list of all comedy movies released in the last decade sitting next to my computer.
Comedy is definitely hard. The number of awful attempts always outnumbers the good. Comedy is also more subjective than other forms. What's funny to you is (clearly) not funny to me. Or to anybody else. What's funny to me probably won't resonate with you. Or anybody else.
Tropic Thunder WAS stupid and lame, but Downey's performance overcame the dreadful, awful, pathetic, ridiculous, craptastic effort of the massively untalented Ben Stiller and the equally inane non-addition of the hugely overrated and unfunny Jack Black.
If you want to list movies, I'll tell you which ones I thought were good.
Jack Black's role in Tropical Thunder was hard to watch.
But not as bad as his last line in King Kong. Most awkward movie line of all time.I never watched King Kong because he was in it. Be kind Rewind could be the worst movie ever made.
I never watched King Kong because he was in it. Be kind Rewind could be the worst movie ever made.
my favorite jack black movie...the jackal. the jackal (bruce willis) brutally ends his life. cheers.:clap:
I never watched King Kong because he was in it. Be kind Rewind could be the worst movie ever made.2nd worst I still contend that What's Eating Gilbert Grape is the worst movie of all time.
2nd worst I still contend that What's Eating Gilbert Grape is the worst movie of all time.Is it wrong that I liked Gilbert Grape as well?
Is it wrong that I liked Gilbert Grape as well?It's like I don't even know who you are anymore.
Also, I generally like Jack Black. The only times he doesn't work for me are generic broad comedies i.e. Shallow Hal.
2nd worst I still contend that What's Eating Gilbert Grape is the worst movie of all time.Quit dragging my heart around.
BTW in solid 3rd place is Caddyshack 2
The Crazies is worth a rent when it comes out on Blu-Ray. It's more of a thriller than horror movie.
I thought Clooney was outstanding in that role. It really changed my perception of him.
The movie itself is an acquired taste. Didn't like it nearly as much the first time I saw it as I did the third or fourth.
Come to appreciate it as one of the better comedies of the last several years. Not Raising Arizona but in the ballpark.
Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
Maybe I should have watched Boondock Saints first.
Boondock Saints II: All Saints DayYou should have only watched Boondock Saints.
Maybe I should have watched Boondock Saints first.
You should have only watched Boondock Saints.That hurts.
I started this turd of a movie, and it's one of the very few I just had to turn off after about 30 minutes.
The first was a bit campy and corny, but it worked. It does not work at all in the sequel.
I'm amazed that it was actually written and directed by the same guy and got a theatrical release. It was the Caddy Shack II of its time.
You should have only watched Boondock Saints.
I started this turd of a movie, and it's one of the very few I just had to turn off after about 30 minutes.
The first was a bit campy and corny, but it worked. It does not work at all in the sequel.
I'm amazed that it was actually written and directed by the same guy and got a theatrical release. It was the Caddy Shack II of its time.
I don't find Sandra Bullock all that attractive to begin with
Your taste in women can only be described as bizarre.
(http://imagecache6.allposters.com/LRG/27/2773/1GLTD00Z.jpg)
(http://www.realbollywood.com/news/up_images/11112635.jpg)
(http://images.starpulse.com/Photos/pv/Sandra%20Bullock-19.jpg)
It's telling to me that the Oher kid hasn't watched it, has stated he has no intention of watching it and is (seemingly) estranged from the Dippy family since the film started production.You know all this from?
You know all this from?None of the above.
a. Your relationship with Oher
b. Your relationship with the Toohey's
c. Your supreme knowledge of everything?
None of the above.I am actually curious do you have a link...I tried to look it up and I couldn't find anything about what you were saying.
From two separate interviews I read. One was in the Baltimore Sun.
I am actually curious do you have a link...I tried to look it up and I couldn't find anything about what you were saying.
I am actually curious do you have a link...I tried to look it up and I couldn't find anything about what you were saying.
This isn't it. But it references him not watching it.I read both that story and the SI story it mentions, I take his not wanting to see the movie or read the book as the following:
http://www.examiner.com/x-31097-Book-Buzz-Examiner~y2009m11d28-Michael-Oher-hasnt-and-wont-read-The-Blind-Side (http://www.examiner.com/x-31097-Book-Buzz-Examiner~y2009m11d28-Michael-Oher-hasnt-and-wont-read-The-Blind-Side)
I heard he hated Tim McGraw and wanted Vanilla Ice to play Mr Toohey.
I read both that story and the SI story it mentions, I take his not wanting to see the movie or read the book as the following:
a. he mentions that he does not want to revisit that time in his life.
b. he also is very widely reported to be an genuinely shy person, he is not interested in promoting himself, he just wants to be a star in the NFL.
Still was a good movie, I have read some of the other real life comparisons, most say that the true story's premise was not that far off from the real thing. Like I said before I am sure it was "hollywoodized".
It's also entirely possible that he doesn't plan to read the book because he went to Ole Miss and can't read.
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist:idhitit: Run away, little canary
A sweet piece of fluffy nothing, this meandering film follows the exploits of a pack of NY/NJ high schoolers who apparently have no parents and roam the streets of the city until the sun comes up.
Nothing new, nothing ground breaking, just Michael Cera bumbling through another relationship.
Andy Samberg (sp) and Seth Myers of SNL are wasted in lame cameos.
This is the second movie I've seen in the past couple of months where Kat Dennings breaks some guy in. The other was Charlie Bartlett (another nerdy doof getting the benefit of Kat's enormosity).
None of the nerdy doofs I knew ever got broken in by a busty, lusty tigress like Kat. She's not what you'd call classically beautiful, she's not svelte and minx-like. But I really, really like her. She reminds me a bit of the quirky Joan Cusack (who was always attractive to me, too) but with a much bigger rack and better acting skills.
The movie was decent, a little predictable in places. It was no Fast Times or Breakfast Club, but it passes for what I guess is the current genre of teen movies. It allowed Cera to do the only thing he's apparently capable of doing on film -- be a lovable little nerd.
(http://www.bscreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/kat-Dennings.jpg)
(http://benaxelrad.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/kat-crack_a-lack.jpg)
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
A sweet piece of fluffy nothing, this meandering film follows the exploits of a pack of NY/NJ high schoolers who apparently have no parents and roam the streets of the city until the sun comes up.
Nothing new, nothing ground breaking, just Michael Cera bumbling through another relationship.
Andy Samberg (sp) and Seth Myers of SNL are wasted in lame cameos.
This is the second movie I've seen in the past couple of months where Kat Dennings breaks some guy in. The other was Charlie Bartlett (another nerdy doof getting the benefit of Kat's enormosity).
None of the nerdy doofs I knew ever got broken in by a busty, lusty tigress like Kat. She's not what you'd call classically beautiful, she's not svelte and minx-like. But I really, really like her. She reminds me a bit of the quirky Joan Cusack (who was always attractive to me, too) but with a much bigger rack and better acting skills.
The movie was decent, a little predictable in places. It was no Fast Times or Breakfast Club, but it passes for what I guess is the current genre of teen movies. It allowed Cera to do the only thing he's apparently capable of doing on film -- be a lovable little nerd.
(http://www.bscreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/kat-Dennings.jpg)
(http://benaxelrad.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/kat-crack_a-lack.jpg)
(http://i582.photobucket.com/albums/ss267/Temptationbucket/3d9f79d2.jpg) (http://s582.photobucket.com/albums/ss267/Temptationbucket/?action=view¤t=3d9f79d2.jpg)
Kaos, have you ever seen and reviewed the movie Snatch? It's one of my all time favorites! I'd be curious to see what you think...
Nope. I got Extract from Netflix today. I'll add Snatch to the list. Is it a porno?
I've got Extract on the way. Solid cast and you can't usually go wrong with Mike Judge.
I'll predict that you don't like Snatch. Mostly because it is awesome and you are the only person that I know who is bound and determined to hate all things awesome. Great cast, great dialogue, engaging story...all the makings for a Kaos pan.
if we're doing review requests...anyone seen body of lies? the skirt has it on the dvr for movie night this weekend.
I've got Extract on the way. Solid cast and you can't usually go wrong with Mike Judge.I just added Extract to my que, I forgot about that one.
I'll predict that you don't like Snatch. Mostly because it is awesome and you are the only person that I know who is bound and determined to hate all things awesome. Great cast, great dialogue, engaging story...all the makings for a Kaos pan.
K,
What do you think about "The Foot Fist Way" and "Garden State". Both indie and just saw them in the last few days. Curious as to what you thought if you've seen em.
Never seen (or heard of) either.I own both on DVD.
I own both on DVD.
Garden State is ok, but Foot Fist Way is one of my favorites.
I doubt Kaos would like it.
It's where Danny McBride got his start. Will Ferrell picked it so that it got a wider distribution, and the director Jody Hill went on to direct East Bound & Down, and the movie everyone but me here apparently hated, Observe & Report.
Yeah, sounds like a bowl full of fail in my estimation. I can only take McBride in miniscule doses. He was on the screen too much in Tropic Thunder, for instance.Mother Nature just pissed her pants suit.
I own both on DVD.
Garden State is ok, but Foot Fist Way is one of my favorites.
I doubt Kaos would like it.
It's where Danny McBride got his start. Will Ferrell picked it so that it got a wider distribution, and the director Jody Hill went on to direct East Bound & Down, and the movie everyone but me here apparently hated, Observe & Report.
I thought both were pretty good. Maybe its because I wasnt expecting much so they both exceeded what I thought they would be. Two totally different movies - Garden State was like Elizabethtown on drugs - depressing to me for the most part but very good.Dentistry? I can't even believe that's something that's real.
Foot Fist was one of those that I dont think everyone will like. It has that Napoleon Dynamite/Dumb and Dumber slapstick quirky humor in it. McBride was hilarious to me. His character was like Rex Kwon Do meets Uncle Rico - dude is seriously delusional. The Chuck "The Truck" Wallace subplot was very funny as well.
Dentistry? I can't even believe that's something that's real.
The Informant
I started thinking a bit before I watched this movie. I'm quick to credit Johnny Depp as the best actor of our time and I think that's probably deserved. If you compare Donnie Brasco to Captain Jack to John Dillinger you'll see that the guy has some incredible range. I've noticed that Robert Downey, Jr. (who I think is a good actor) seems to play basically the same guy in every film. That led me to thinking about Matt Damon who stars here. He did serious in Bourne. He did ridiculous in Stuck on You. He did quirky and neurotic in Oceans. He did corrupt in The Departed. And dammit, he did all of them pretty well.
So as I watched the movie I was thinking that he could really slide up there into Depp-land in terms of diversity if he was able to pull off the unhinged character at the center of The Informant. He came close. He came really close. In the end, though, you could almost see him holding back just a little, afraid to take that last little step over into crazy where Mark Whitacre probably lived.
The film was decent enough. I think it could have done a better job of establishing Whitacre's credentials and given a tighter explanation of what was going down. It left you not really knowing who to believe and wondering if Whitacre was a deranged nutcase or a white knight who was mowed down by an international conglomerate (probably closer to the truth).
It tried to play it for laughs, but when you remember that this was essentially the guy's true story it's not quite as funny to consider the weight of billions of dollars and mountains of political favors pouring down to crush Whitacre and destroy his family.
Was he crazy? Well in my book a guy making $400k a year who's getting millions in untraceable kickbacks has to be just a little unbalanced to get trapped by a Nigerian money scam. My grandmother wasn't even that unschooled. He's also got to be just a little goofy to volunteer to slaughter the golden goose for no apparent reason (or at least one that was never satisfactorially explained). He definitely should have worked out a better deal for himself in advance, that's for sure. Our (corrupt) DOJ reamed his ass out.
Interesting movie, but it could have told the story in a much better way and been far more compelling. The direction kept Damon fettered. It might not have been his fault that he never quite reached the full potential. Movie was backed by Clooney. The whole time I was watching it I thought how much better he would have been in that role. When he makes the crazy face, you believe it.
The BluRay was utterly devoid of additional material. No extra clips, no documentary on the real Mark, no exposition, no upcoming features, no nothing. All kinds of boo on that.
The Blind Side
Bullock deserved the Oscar, Jesse James should be bitched slapped and have his balls stuffed into his mouth for cheating on her. I think most everyone knows the story of Michael Oher, so no surprises. Just a great feel good story, I don't know how much of it was "hollywoodized" but in my humble opinion it is a must rent, and unlike the Ugly Truth will probably get you laid.
Seriously??? I was forced to watch that piece of shit move last night and I'm going to have to disagree with you. Every Oher line in the movie is a cliche quote and the little kid in the movie is fucking annoying. I would have to say that Kaos is making a smart move by avoiding this one.
Agreed. Awful movie. It had a terrible script. That was the main problem. The writers and director introduced a super sad story and then let it play itself out.
Also, it was 100% unbelievable. I get it. They helped the kid out. But the movie portrayed Leanne Tuohy as super-badass woman who wouldn't take poop from anybody.
You tell me if this is realistic: super hot blond woman wearing a skirt that wraps perfectly around her ass goes into the projects alone and talks poop to the hardest looking guys there AND lives without getting fondled or raped.
Or how about this: goofball coach in the opening game of the season answers his cell phone in the middle of the game and listens to Leanne Tuohy give advice on what plays to call.
Or: a seven year old teaches a gigantic black kid who can't read the details of playing offensive football using spice cans and salt shakers.
Or: The Tuohy's encouraged Oher to go to Tennessee because they wanted the best opportunity for him.
None of that poop happened and it was laughable that the movie even tried.
On another note, I saw Up in the Air tonight. Not bad. Kind of boring and had a lackluster ending. I don't know why, but I'd absolutely destroy the girl playing Natalie. I noticed her in the first Twilight movie. Something about her that's just flat out cute.
(http://twilightmovies.org/ruth/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/jessica-stanley-anna-kendrick.jpg)
Saw The Promotion last night.
It's that type of really dry, dark comedy that I love, and apparently no one else here appreciates.
If you hated Observe & Report or Foot Fist Way, chances are you'll hate this too.
I loved it.
I enjoyed both. Observe & Report was a damn good movie. I'll check into the promotion.Where were you for all of Page 19 of this thread? I needed some backup.
Where were you for all of Page 19 of this thread? I needed some backup.
Where were you for all of Page 19 of this thread? I needed some backup.Waaaaaaaah.....so nobody liked one movie that you liked. Well you got the bammer to rely on, so you got that going for ya. You don't see me telling everybody to FUCK OFF for trashing the fact that I liked a feel good movie The Blindside or fuck all of you supposed movie critics and your theatrical blah blah and realism pish posh...sometimes a movie is just a movie and I don't want to have to think about it.
Waaaaaaaah.....so nobody liked one movie that you liked. Well you got the bammer to rely on, so you got that going for ya. You don't see me telling everybody to phuk OFF for trashing the fact that I liked a feel good movie The Blindside or phuk all of you supposed movie critics and your theatrical blah blah and realism pish posh...sometimes a movie is just a movie and I don't want to have to think about it.
I like movies with boobies. Sigh...I miss Sweets.
Waaaaaaaah.....so nobody liked one movie that you liked. Well you got the bammer to rely on, so you got that going for ya. You don't see me telling everybody to FUCK OFF for trashing the fact that I liked a feel good movie The Blindside or fuck all of you supposed movie critics and your theatrical blah blah and realism pish posh...sometimes a movie is just a movie and I don't want to have to think about it.You don't see me telling anyone to fuck off either.
I like movies with boobies. Sigh...I miss Sweets.
You don't see me telling anyone to fuck off either.Exactly a bammer
I was told earlier that I was the only person in the world that enjoyed this movie.
I knew it couldn't be true.
You don't see me telling anyone to fuck off either.Shit I forgot the seal
What do you think about "The Foot Fist Way" and "Garden State". Both indie and just saw them in the last few days.I liked Garden State. It was funnier than I thought it was going to be.
Agreed. If it's still in a theater near you, it's even worth the price of admission.
The Crazieshttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy8ceorXhmA&NR=1# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sy8ceorXhmA&NR=1#)
Feb 26th
Where the Wild Things Are
I would have preferred Spike Jonze simply film himself taking Maurice Sendak's book, ripping each page out and wiping his ass with it for two hours over this overstuffed, angst-ridden, bloated piece of crap that defiled a book I had a great affinity for as a child.
This movie took the simple meaning of Sendak's book, buried it in an avalanche of psycho-pop babble and then took a masssive shit on it.
The movie certainly wasn't for kids because it provides ABSOLUTELY no lesson or opportunity to grow. On top of that, the story is so slathered in morose adult moping (and he drops a few damn's and hell's in there to prove just how adult Spike really is) that no child would be willing to sit through the dreck. It was BORING.
Was it for adults? Nope. Boring again.
There was no meaning to the mayhem. At least out of Sendak's book I drew some meaning. In dealing with the monsters (all of which were essentially inside him), Max discovered a way to cope. He learned that being "king" really isn't all that great.
Maybe the movie attempted to convey that same sentiment, but it failed in a spectacular manner to do so.
I loved the book and was really looking forward to this movie. When I saw the initial returns (and watched a preview I considered to be shockingly badly done) I waited for the DVD. I wish now I'd skipped even that.
Piss poor effort. I don't think Jonze (why doesn't the bastard spell his name right) understood what the book was actually about.
To each his own. I enjoyed this adaptation. Watched a short on the making of and Sendak had nothing but praise for Jonez and the final product.
He's old and drinks a lot apparently.
ExtractI just watched this tonight. I thought I remembered your review more scathing, so I was going to disagree.
Mike Judge is known for skewering social commentary. Beavis and Butthead helped create an entirely new way of looking at the world (and at comedy). Office Space is amazing in its ability to capture the pointlessness, frustration and dullness of the corporate world. King of the Hill -- even though I didn't much care for it -- skillfully carved up mundane suburbia in a less vulgar and disturbing way than the crude Family Guy.
In Extract, though, he moved away from what he does best. There was no social commentary. He didn't shine a light on a particular way of life and expose its banality. Instead he attempted to tell a relatively tame story of personal discovery and redemption.
It wasn't his best work, but it wasn't horrible. It was just a little flat and two-dimensional.
Jason Bateman was adequate. Much better in this role than he was in Couple's Retreat.
Ben Affleck is a significantly better supporting actor than he is a leading man. He was good here although he was essentially channeling Lawrence (Diedrich Bader's role in Office Space).
JK Simmons (one of my favorite actors since his turn as Schillinger the Nazi in Oz) was essentially wasted in a minor role.
Mila Kunis upped her worth with a good performance even though her role didn't really require her to do much beyond look super hot. Having seen her in Book of Eli and knowing that she's capable of more, that made her understated performance here even more appreciated. And did I mention she was super hot to look at?
Kristen Wiig, who I don't care for at all on SNL, actually looked pretty hot in this movie. Sexy even. That was a pleasant surprise.
Gene Simmons, well... Gene needs to stick to singing. He was over the top and should have taken a little more time to learn his lines. For somebody who's in front of thousands on a nightly basis, you'd think he would understand a little better how to play a role.
Overall not a bad movie. I just expected a little more depth, particularly since Judge was at the helm. I expected it to have a little more to say.
Wiig
(http://themoviebanter.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Kristen-Wiig-kristen-wiig-323096_600_674.jpg)
Kunis
(http://enciklopediabg.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/mila-kunis-picture.jpg)
So explain it to me. I'd really like to know what I missed. Here are the objections.
The book had meaning on two levels. For kids it was a silly fantasy about a boy who becomes king of the monsters before finally realizing that home was where he needed to be. Although the monsters were at first scary they became fun. Colorful, wild, free. All the things the boy thought he wanted to be.
For adults the book explored the efforts of a child to grapple with all the new and scary emotins bubbling in the boys mind. Each monster represented an emotion or urge that needed to be controlled. In doing so the boy learned not to fear what was inside but conquer it. By conquering the beasts as we all must Max discovers he can exist in civilization even if the beasts still howl.
My opinion: the movie failed to express that.
By making the monsters drab and dingy it missed the mark if it intended to draw a child's attention. Where was the color?
By making the monsters kvetching pseudo hippies who wrestled with complex adult themes beyond the realm of the average seven year old, the film failed to sufficently illustrate that each represented a part of Max. What part of Max was a jealous Jewish shrew supposed to reflect?
Where was the realization that mayhem for mayhem's sake grows tiresome?
The decision to return home was devoid of reason and logic. There was no moment of clarity or discernablr impetus other than the need to keep the film under three hours.
I guess my biggest question is where was the fun? The book was alive and vibrant. The book was fun. This movie was not fun. It was not alive. It was not vibrant. It just didn't ring true.
I'd like to know what you saw differently. I will try again if you make a valid argument. I hated Pulp Fiction the first time. It's a favorite now.
I'm not going to try and convince you to like the movie. Either you do or you don't...for entirely personal reasons. I was merely noting that, despite your railing about its failure to grasp the story/meaning, the book's author was very pleased with both director and movie. Presumably that means that Sendak doesn't think Jonez "didn't get it" or missed the themes.
So we're back to the fact that he's old and apparently intoxicated or sedated.
Extract
Mike Judge is known for skewering social commentary. Beavis and Butthead helped create an entirely new way of looking at the world (and at comedy). Office Space is amazing in its ability to capture the pointlessness, frustration and dullness of the corporate world. King of the Hill -- even though I didn't much care for it -- skillfully carved up mundane suburbia in a less vulgar and disturbing way than the crude Family Guy.
In Extract, though, he moved away from what he does best. There was no social commentary. He didn't shine a light on a particular way of life and expose its banality. Instead he attempted to tell a relatively tame story of personal discovery and redemption.
It wasn't his best work, but it wasn't horrible. It was just a little flat and two-dimensional.
Jason Bateman was adequate. Much better in this role than he was in Couple's Retreat.
Ben Affleck is a significantly better supporting actor than he is a leading man. He was good here although he was essentially channeling Lawrence (Diedrich Bader's role in Office Space).
JK Simmons (one of my favorite actors since his turn as Schillinger the Nazi in Oz) was essentially wasted in a minor role.
Mila Kunis upped her worth with a good performance even though her role didn't really require her to do much beyond look super hot. Having seen her in Book of Eli and knowing that she's capable of more, that made her understated performance here even more appreciated. And did I mention she was super hot to look at?
Kristen Wiig, who I don't care for at all on SNL, actually looked pretty hot in this movie. Sexy even. That was a pleasant surprise.
Gene Simmons, well... Gene needs to stick to singing. He was over the top and should have taken a little more time to learn his lines. For somebody who's in front of thousands on a nightly basis, you'd think he would understand a little better how to play a role.
Overall not a bad movie. I just expected a little more depth, particularly since Judge was at the helm. I expected it to have a little more to say.
Wiig
(http://themoviebanter.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Kristen-Wiig-kristen-wiig-323096_600_674.jpg)
Kunis
(http://enciklopediabg.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/mila-kunis-picture.jpg)
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Holy hell, how did I go through 25 years of life without seeing this movie? I always thought those old Clint Eastwood Westerns were just another generation of John Wayne movies.
Complete in almost every way possible except for the lack of naked chicks, but I think that would have detracted from the story a bit.
I now have Fistful of Dollars and Once Upon a Time in the West in queue on Netflix. Can't wait.
Also, Ecstasy of Gold is one of the most epic movie songs of all time.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOKhQ8ObQ7E# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOKhQ8ObQ7E#)
Have you watched "The Outlaw Josey Wales?"
Puss in Boots
So it's early in the morning and nothing's on. Well, except for perhaps the hottest assortment of news and traffic morning reporters in human history on WEAR TV3. I'm wasting time, looking for something to make background noise while I check emails and arrange a couple of meetings for next week. And what do I find?
Puss in Boots. Starring Christopher Walken as Puss. That was, in itself, enough to cause me to stop and give it a try.
Walken was absolutely ridiculous playing the titular cat with a slight sashay, some tortured singing and a few earnestly muddled lines about taking care of Master.
But it was obvious that he was having a ball just being silly. It was almost like what a dad does when he goes overboard telling his kid a bedtime story.
Oh, the movie is dreadful. The interjection of abysmal singing portions adds a further layer of absurdity. Haven't looked, but I guess nobody in the movie can or has ever acted in anything else again except Walken -- they were that bad. Or at least they shouldn't have been in anything else. But Walken? You could believe he was a cat.
There's one scene in the film that I found interesting. When the miller's son is "rescued" by the king and brought to the castle they have a dance. Of course he knows no dances so he reverts back to some corny moves he knew as a kid. And everybody in the room follows suit and learns it. I've seen that before (and done better) in A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. Since Puss came out three years prior to Knight's Tale, perhaps that scene was lifted from this film?
The movie was 96 minutes long. No way in hell I could sit through the entire thing. So I filpped between WEAR TV news (see below) and Puss. I'd watch Walken gleefully skip through a scene and then go back to the news. I'd never suggest that anyone buy or rent this film, but if you see it pop up on the menu, watch a couple of minutes of Walken's kitty.
WEAR TV NEWS
Pictures do no justice here...
(http://www.newsradio1620.com/Images/jamiee.jpg) (http://www.weartv.com/sections/station/news_team/talent/images/ecnagy.jpg)(http://www.weartv.com/sections/station/news_team/talent/images/hgilchrist.jpg)(http://www.weartv.com/sections/station/news_team/talent/images/bsison.jpg)
One of my all time favorites.
Worms gotta eat, too.
Have you watched "The Outlaw Josey Wales?"Not yet. But it's been recommended by many. It's going in the queue folder in five minutes.
Zombieland
Not exactly what I expected, but a fun movie. It was no Raising Arizona, but it had a few funny moments and didn't take itself seriously at all. It's not laugh out loud comedy, it's not scare the shit out of you horror, but just a nice easy blend of fear and bemusement.
No angst over the crazy situation, no underlying social commentary, no deeper hidden meaning. Just four misfits (well, five for a while) making the best they can out of a really bad situation.
Yeah there are crazy plot holes. For instance how come the power is still on everywhere? And don't they ever run out of gas? Or bullets? But that really doesn't matter all that much because it's not really meant to be taken seriously.
Woody Harrellson dominates the film. He's good enough that you'd almost like to see him in a serious zombie killing movie, but then you remember he'd have to do pathos and pass on the idea. No, he fits better here.
The nerdy, nebbish guy is interchangeable with any of the other hundred or so nerdy nebbish guys who populate thousands of other teen films. I'm just glad they didn't get the Superbad guy (Cera) in this role because I'm a little tired of him.
Emma Stone confuses me. She's either hot or not and I lean to not.
It's not a movie you'll buy and put on your shelf to treasure for years to come, but on a throwaway afternoon it would be pretty fun.
Worth watching.
We rented it over the weekend and only made it through about 30 minutes. Worst. Movie. Ever.
This movie made The Other Guys and Dinner For Schmucks look like Academy Award winners.
The Town
Good film. Affleck is a better director than he is an actor. A little unbelivable in the relationship with the female lead, but it was a movie after all. Worth watching.
The Other Guys
Somebody shoot Will Ferrell. Shoot him now. Before he makes another dud. Please.
Predators
Had so much promise. Could have been so, so great. But Adrien fucking Brody? Are you shitting me? When the biggest thing on your body is your fucking nose you have no business trying to play an action lead -- unless your name is Karl Malden. And Topher Grace? Whoever was in charge of casting this movie should be dropped on an island full of blood-hungry aliens. Even with the dreadful casting the movie could have delivered. The effects were good, the Predators amazing. And then it got to the end and you went... what? Just die already.
The Prince of Persia
Utterly fucking rotten. Jake's british accent was pathetic. The plot was stupid. The girl wasn't nearly hot enough to make it work. Should have gone straight to DVD. Want to see this move done 100000x better? Watch The Scorpion King.
Inception
Expected too much, I suppose. Was just meh. Wasn't awed in the least. Closer to yawn than awe.
Valley Girl
A very underappreciated movie. The soundtrack is fantastic. Nick Cage turns in one of his two career performances that are tolerable. Julie is, like, totally awesome. There are no great life lessons to be learned and some of it is formulaic, but Valley Girll remains one of the best of the 80s teen comedy genre. VG, Fast Times at Ridgement High, The Last American Virgin (another underappreciated movie) and The Breakfast Club should be mandatory viewing.
Agree that Affleck is better behind the camera than in front. I think that the guy from the Hurt Locker should get some credit, though. He's doing tortured male lead better than anyone else lately.
I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. I was burned out on the Ferrell character a while ago, but he is actually...wait for it...restrained in this movie. Mark Wahlberg is actually the guy reaching for laughs....to great effect. I thought this movie was underrated. Not going to win any academy awards, and not the basis for a night of serious movie watching, but a fun time-passer.
Agree that Brody is not an action hero. The supporting cast made it fun for me, though. Walton Goggins ("Shane" from The Shield, and "Boyd Crowder" from Justified)...that guy is awesome. It was a mindless popcorn movie...enjoy it for that.
Didn't see it...don't know why you would with any expectations. The video game was lame and I would expect the movie to be as well.
Have to really disagree with you here. I enjoyed this movie on a superficial level: the acting was top-notch from DiCaprio to Page to Gordon-Leavitt to Caine. And I also enjoyed it on an intellectual level.
The plot was layered and nuanced. Nolan has a knack for keeping the audience guessing. Whether it was Memento, The Dark Knight or Inception, you can watch the movie for its surface story/meaning, or you can walk away wondering about the untold story for days. Did Cobb end up in the States, absolved of his alleged crimes, or did he end up succumbing to the allure of the dream state? Was his totem the spinning top he took from Mol's safe or was his another, that we never got to see? Fun movie to watch and unpack.
Fuck's sake. You're going to bag on Inception and then positively review Valley Girl? Yeah, fun movie, but not in the same zip code as Nolan's movies.
Plus, just like with the huge supposed "twist" in Shutter Island, I'd figured out the deal way, way, way before the reveal.
Speaking of Boyd Crowder, just finished watching the season premiere. Looks good, but can't really tell how much of a role Goggins will play in this season.
Tell me the deal and the reveal. I go back and forth on how that is supposed to end. Shutter Island as well. I don't think that one is as cut and dry as you would have me believe.
Tell me the deal and the reveal. I go back and forth on how that is supposed to end. Shutter Island as well. I don't think that one is as cut and dry as you would have me believe.
Wall Street II: Rise of the Decpticons
I'm tired of being disappointed. I expected a lot from this movie. Not the slow, plodding, meandering story. I couldn't get attached to any of the characters. Another morality tale from crackpot Oliver Stone.
Worst of all was the music. It was completely out of place from the opening credits. Dreadful musical selections. Fucking TERRIBLE. Gawd fucking AWFUL. The music alone was an epic disaster. I hated every second of it. Every note made my skin crawl.
LeBouf needs to eat a sandwich. He weighed like 18 pounds. The girl was completely unattractive and unsexy and unappealing. Douglas hammed up his part.
The bike racing scene was stupid.
I don't know, it just left me wishing it would hurry the fuck up and be over. That's not the sign of a good movie.
You need to go watch Wall Street again...the music was a tribute to that. In fact most of the same music was played in both movies. I really liked this movie, they did I damn fine job on what was happening at the time. But its my industry, maybe thats why I liked it so much.
I didn't realize that it was about whore island?And Boom goes the Dynamite.
The King's Speech
Tired of being disappointed? Go see this. Quirky. Historical. Enjoyable. Feel good.
It is a comedy with Adam Sandler...
The Town
Good film. Affleck is a better director than he is an actor. A little unbelivable in the relationship with the female lead, but it was a movie after all. Worth watching.
Inception
Expected too much, I suppose. Was just meh. Wasn't awed in the least. Closer to yawn than awe.
The Social Network
I know it's not historically accurate, but it was certainly interesting. In fact, it inspired me to be more of an asshole to people I work with. Assholes always seem to succeed.
I'm seriously late to the party on this one, but - just now seeing the Blindside. Caught it Saturday on Netflix. Good movie. Not a blockbuster, but def good.
If it did anything, it made me hate the NCAA even more. Sandra Bullock steals the show....and is uber HAWWWTTTTTTT!
Dinner with Schmucks
Oh, lord. Poor Steve. He's a decent character, but he can't stray too far from Michael Scott or he flops.
I have come to really hate Paul Rudd. Every movie he's in is just lame. No personality. He really sucked in this one.
Kissmyanthia
Tell her you love her whispering eye....snicker
Re-watched Less Than Zero for the first time in a loooong time last night.
Great fucking movie. Downey the junkie man-whore, Spader the greasy dealer-pimp, Gertz the coke tramp, and McCarthy as the clean-cut college boy.
I like Ellis's novels, but this one and American Psycho worked so much better on screen than in print.
Anyone going to see Unknown? Looks good and I like liam neeson.
Anyone going to see Unknown? Looks good and I like liam neeson.
What is the new movie with the hot guy from The Hangover and DeNeiro? Something about take a pill to get unlimited mental intelligence or power or something. I caught the end of the trailer but did not catch the name...
Limitless
Can't take Bradley cooper serious in this kind of movie.
To me, he is an up and comer... way hot without being too pretty, and a good enough actor to maybe pull off some meaty parts. I hope he gets good reviews for this movie - playing opposite DeNeiro is big time... (insert Ben Stiller/Focker joke here tho... do NOT know what The Man was thinking...)
But I get what you are saying. Even if Keanu was a freaking Oscar worthy actor, I can never get past Bill & Ted. I would never be able to see the goofy dentist guy/Andy from Office as any kind of serious actor. Ever.
I cant get past cooper in wedding crashers. Although Vince Vaughn is hilarious to me.
Due date sucked balls. It was much funnier with Steve Martin and John Candy.
Those aren't pillows.
Hate to hear that. I had high hopes for that movie.
Had they gone another direction with the movie, I maybe could have appreciated it. After all, it had Downey Jr as the lead actor. And he had some moments. Danny McBride had a good scene in the movie. But it followed "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" from start to finish.
Business man. Lonely fat guy just trying to make it. First meet at airport with a luggage scene. Then on the airplane. Then again when the business man is stranded and gets a ride from the fat guy. Minus the train, it follows lock-step all the way down to the fat guy secretly having the business guys wallet.
Steve Martin was a better business man. John Candy was a better slob.
I liked it and laughed...but Token is dead nutz, I said the same thing. Still worth a look though IMHO.
and Kaos I agree on the American 100% ...it didn't know what the fuck it was supposed to be.
The American
Should have just named it "The Slow and Shitty"
What a plodding, boring load of crap. Brooding piano. Brooding Clooney. Hot Italian prostitute. Brood. Brood. Brood. Brood. Never get anywhere. Never offer even the slightest explanation of who anyone was, what they were doing or what purpose they served.
Awful.
If I'd paid to see that in the theaters....
Awful.
It was directed by a dutchman (the damn dutch!)
There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.
There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.I must shay, you look toit. Toit, like a tiger. I can tell by your toit pantsh.
Impostor (2002)
Philip K. Dick stories get totally screwed when translated to film and this is no different. The theatrical release is totally worthless because it wasn't supposed to happen. It was a short (like 14 pages) story that was supposed to serve as one of three parts of a sci-fi trilogy. They shot some, then abandoned the idea, leaving the studio to come back in and add in 45 minutes of uselessness to this story.
Here's what's worth watching: if you get a hold of the Director's cut you can see the original 40 minute short film in the bonus features. That's actually a pretty fun ride. As a total movie, this sucks like a Hoover, but the short is worth a look.
Kirbys suck more than Hoovers.Blast from the past.
Blast from the past.
Blast from the past.
Philip K. Dick stories get totally screwed when translated to film and this is no different.
Folks, please read thread title before posting a movie review. :civic:
Just a reminder.Some of us only have memory up to and at max of a week. Its not our fault that Kaos is way behind.
Thank you...
Kaos, you gotta watch "The Next Three Days" with Russell Crowe. It just came out on DVD and in my opinion its one of the best I have seen in a long time.
Kaos, you gotta watch "The Next Three Days" with Russell Crowe. It just came out on DVD and in my opinion its one of the best I have seen in a long time.Watched it last night...some holes...but I give it.
The American
Should have just named it "The Slow and Shitty"
What a plodding, boring load of crap. Brooding piano. Brooding Clooney. Hot Italian prostitute. Brood. Brood. Brood. Brood. Never get anywhere. Never offer even the slightest explanation of who anyone was, what they were doing or what purpose they served.
Awful.
If I'd paid to see that in the theaters....
Awful.
One of thase that was soooooo slow and bad I couldn't make myself endure until it got good, which apparently never happened. The opening scene grabbed my attention, but then it quickly got shitty.
Opening scene was good. First five minutes and I thought the movie would fulfill. But after that it just sank in somber boring piano music.
Even that opening scene was never fully justified. There was no rational explanation for his action. It was simply unnecessary. It set up nothing.
The Social Network
Very well done movie.
The pacing was a little uneven because of the bouncing back and forth in time.
Eisenberg channeling Zuckerberg is a dismal, sad fuck. Assuming the movie is anywhere close to reality, he's a psychological mess and will likely be miserable regardless of the success or failure of his efforts.
One casting change I would have made was the CFO. That guy didn't carry his part IMO. Eisenberg plays that exact same guy in everything I've seen him in only with varying degrees of misery.
Not a movie that everybody would care for, but it was good.
I was primarily disappointed because I was really hoping to get some intel on what the fucking "like" button meant and how to change between profiles, but they never got into that at all.
These reviews will not be complete until you give us a review on this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvuopBG7tBc
What was worth seeing this film for, of course, is an "alone time" seen with Natalie Portman as well as some lesbo action with her and Mila Kunis.
Would these clips perchance be available on YouTube?
Um...yeah chad...get to linking this shit...
These reviews will not be complete until you give us a review on this...
The Human Centipede
The Last Three Days
It was just fair. Wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but it dragged for far too long.
The opening argument was artificial and unnecessary.
It had its moments, but in the end I'd much rather he had just given up on the whole idea and hammered Olivia Wilde.
I highly recommend this podcast about it.I loved the Friday the 13th series, those guys are hilarious.
http://www.nowplayingpodcast.com/archives/npp031.php (http://www.nowplayingpodcast.com/archives/npp031.php)
Damn, your harsh.
but in the end I'd much rather he had just given up on the whole idea and hammered Olivia Wilde.Can't argue with this though
The Machinist
I saw this movie right before I left for Orlando.
Pretty good movie. Christian Bale lost 62 pounds for this role, and his disgusting physique really set the tone for the movie.
It's intense. That's for sure.
Rango
There was a random KISS reference which made me laugh.
Very good movie.
I stopped reading when I saw "seven whore sisters". I give two thumbs up, sight unseen.
Its the kind of whores you want to punch in the face.
I thought that was all whores?
They charge extra for punching.
Not if they're unconscious.8 more posts and you get a button
I thought that was all whores?
donkey punching kind.
8 more posts and you get a button
What you're missing here is that Kaos liked back-to-back movies. And they were both watched on the same day.
Upon further consideration, however, I'm thinking The Fighter was actually Invincible but it was about boxing instead of football. The two movies could almost play side by side. They're really interchangeable. That being the case, I'd probably take Elizabeth Banks over Amy Adams. Why didn't Invincible get the same kind of Oscar buzz that The Fighter did? (One word: Christian Bale. Okay, that's two words, but it means one person).
And how does Marky Mark keep grabbing roles in Oscar-heavy films but keeps getting ignored by The Academy? The Departed wouldn't have worked without Mr. Marky. The Fighter was his movie, but just like Micky in real life, he was overshadowed by his more outspoken but less accomplished brother (Bale/Dicky). At some point the Oscars are going to have to reward this former rapper/underwear model.
8 more posts and you get a buttonButton?
Anyone want to review Devil's Reject for AUT1? I haven't got around to watching it yet.
What you're missing here is that Kaos liked back-to-back movies. And they were both watched on the same day.
Upon further consideration, however, I'm thinking The Fighter was actually Invincible but it was about boxing instead of football. The two movies could almost play side by side. They're really interchangeable. That being the case, I'd probably take Elizabeth Banks over Amy Adams. Why didn't Invincible get the same kind of Oscar buzz that The Fighter did? (One word: Christian Bale. Okay, that's two words, but it means one person).
And how does Marky Mark keep grabbing roles in Oscar-heavy films but keeps getting ignored by The Academy? The Departed wouldn't have worked without Mr. Marky. The Fighter was his movie, but just like Micky in real life, he was overshadowed by his more outspoken but less accomplished brother (Bale/Dicky). At some point the Oscars are going to have to reward this former rapper/underwear model.
Rango
Johnny Depp is a genius.
The animation was amazing. It was as good -- no probably better -- than Pixar.
Story wise and character development wise it beat the pants off Despicable Me (which I liked) and MegaMind (which I thought was crappy).
The movie tipped its hat to just about every spaghetti western ever filmed. It would almost be worth watching again just to see how many of them it channeled. Among my favorites was the scene where the undertaker was measuring him for a coffin.
There was also a random KISS reference which made me laugh.
So many animated movies miss the mark and dwell in crude jokes and/or sappy schmaltz. This film did neither. It told an intelligent, engaging story and did it with flair.
The cast of characters was quite ugly, but the movie found a way to make all the dirty, scuzzy stereotypical spaghetti western dirtbags charming.
Very good movie.
Four kids went. Three hated it. One fell asleep. Acompanying parents also disliked.
So many animated movies miss the mark and dwell in crude jokes and/or sappy schmaltz. This film did neither. It told an intelligent, engaging story and did it with flair.
Not for everybody apparently. I hate most movies that are hailed 'round here anyhow.
One of the highest rated movies currently on RottenTomatoes.
Yes. I said that. I'd watch it again right now.
Faster(http://www.imfdb.org/w/images/thumb/1/17/Ruger_sup_redhawk_alaskan.jpg/400px-Ruger_sup_redhawk_alaskan.jpg)
Billy Bob Thornton, Carla Gugino, Simon Adibesi (from Oz, no idea what his real name is), the creepy red Malachi dude from the original Children of the Corn and The Rock in a violent tale of revenge.
Not a fan of Billy Bob with the exception of his role in SlingBlade. Carla has looked better.
The story was very weak. Rock's rage was not convincingly defined and the parental/sibling relationship was, frankly, laughable.
Rock is a good actor when spoofing himself (Get Smart), when doing broad comedy (Tooth Fairy) or in roles where he's not required to convincingly emote (Scorpion King). Here where he had to play a flashback death scene where his brother was killed? Ugh. Just plain terrible acting. Seriously awful.
The film jumped from implausible scene to implausible scene. Where are all the cops when he just walks out of a bar/hospital/office after shooting somebody? How come Rock can put a bullet through the middle of a guy's forehead while essentially shooting from the hip, but he can unload the clip at another guy standing in the hall and miss every time? Why does the fucking assassin just watch instead of unloading on him during any of the 15 dozen opportunities he has? Why does the assassin's wife -- who in one scene was sexually aroused by gunplay -- suddenly turn into mush when he doesn't quit the killing game? How come the voices of the employer and the employer himself don't come close to matching?
Whatever.
It was a carnage-filled, utterly joyless rampage. The Rock is so much better when he gets to add a touch of humor. He's like Cam. Things are better when he's smiling.
Forgettable movie. For all involved.
A Time to Kill
It's the middle of the night. I can't sleep. This movie is on TNT. It's an outstanding film, the To Kill a Mockingbird of this generation.
John Grisham's books are barely eighth grade level. They're fast-food literature. He tells essentially the same story every single time, he just changes a few of the names. I read his books and it's never taken me less than a day to chew through any of them.
Of all his books, A Time to Kill was easily the best. After its success, it seems to me that Grisham got lazy. It happens to the best. Stephen King has also fallen prey to the lazy gene. Instead of breaking new ground like he did with Salem's Lot and The Stand (a fantastic book) he churns out formulaic potboilers with little to no imagination.
Where many of King's novels have not translated well to the screen (curiously his short stories -- Green Mile, Stand By Me, Shawshank -- have been much more successful), Grisham's books do adapt well.
The film version of A Time to Kill is even better than the book. Far better, in fact. It's exceedingly well done. So many outstanding performances: Matthew McBongo, Samuel L, Donald Sutherland, Kevin Spacey, Sandra Bullock, Keifer, Ashley Judd and more.
Ridiculous that this movie wasn't nominated for an Academy Award and the shitty pile of gnu excrement The English Patient won that year.
Bullock was so much more amazingly hotter 15 years ago. So was sweaty Judd.
Hate the characterization of Mississippi as a Klan haven. I haven't seen that many klansmen in one place since I witnessed a march in the early 70s.
Still a very good movie and a story well told.
Side note: A girl I knew in high school was an extra during the riot scene.
McConaughey...I like him, and most things he's done that I've seen. Just saw "The Lincoln Lawyer" and I recommend it. He's not a great actor, and brings pretty much the same things to every character, but he's likable and believable. Thankfully this TX born actor doesn't have to manufacture a bad southern accent and can get by on a generic accent of his own.
Due DateI thought this movie was fucking horrible.
This must be a record. Four movies of the last five I actually liked.
Fact is I didn't expect to like it at all. I don't care for Zack Gaffinakalkiginas at all. I didn't find The Hangover all that funny. I thought he sucked iguana ass in Dinner for Schmucks (a terrible, terrible movie). I expcected him to befoul this one, too.
Not so fast. I laughed when I was supposed to laugh, and a few times I probably wasn't supposed to.
Yes it followed basically the same pattern as Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Yes, PT&A was done better in terms of character development and had the tear-jerking sentimental sap going for it at the end. Yes, John Candy is significantly better than Zack Glfarifikghekpias. No, Steve Martin is not better than Robert Downey Jr.
My one real complaint was the anticlimactic ending. It built all that comedic tension and then just fizzled to the end because it was time for the movie to be over.
Blu-Ray was disappointing because it offered nothing but "Play Movie" and "Set Up" No commentaries, no bloopers, no deleted scenes, no alternate endings, no nude shots of Michelle M.
I thought it was a funny movie that hit more than it missed.
I thought this movie was fucking horrible.
You thought wrong.
[/quote
:pwnd: :facepalm:
Quote function rulzThat was funnier than Due Date.
A Time to Kill
It's the middle of the night. I can't sleep. This movie is on TNT. It's an outstanding film, the To Kill a Mockingbird of this generation.
John Grisham's books are barely eighth grade level. They're fast-food literature. He tells essentially the same story every single time, he just changes a few of the names. I read his books and it's never taken me less than a day to chew through any of them.
Of all his books, A Time to Kill was easily the best. After its success, it seems to me that Grisham got lazy. It happens to the best. Stephen King has also fallen prey to the lazy gene. Instead of breaking new ground like he did with Salem's Lot and The Stand (a fantastic book) he churns out formulaic potboilers with little to no imagination.
Where many of King's novels have not translated well to the screen (curiously his short stories -- Green Mile, Stand By Me, Shawshank -- have been much more successful), Grisham's books do adapt well.
The film version of A Time to Kill is even better than the book. Far better, in fact. It's exceedingly well done. So many outstanding performances: Matthew McBongo, Samuel L, Donald Sutherland, Kevin Spacey, Sandra Bullock, Keifer, Ashley Judd and more.
Ridiculous that this movie wasn't nominated for an Academy Award and the shitty pile of gnu excrement The English Patient won that year.
Bullock was so much more amazingly hotter 15 years ago. So was sweaty Judd.
Hate the characterization of Mississippi as a Klan haven. I haven't seen that many klansmen in one place since I witnessed a march in the early 70s.
Still a very good movie and a story well told.
Side note: A girl I knew in high school was an extra during the riot scene.
I watched as well, this is one of my favorite flicks. Of course Matthew McConaughey is so dreamy.
Faster
Forgettable movie. For all involved.
This Thing of Ours
Major fan of mob movies. Godfather, Godfather II, Casino, Goodfellas, Donnie Brasco, Once Upon a Time in America, The Departed... all among some of my favorite movies of all time. I've watched Godfather I and II probably 100 times each.
So when I saw This Thing of Ours on the Netflix list and saw the cast, i figured there was no way I could go wrong.
Phil Leotardo from The Sopranos AKA Frank Marino from Casino AKA Billy Batts from Goodfellas (Frank Vincent)
Big Pussy from The Sopranos (Vincent Pastore)
Sonny Corleone from The Godfather (James Caan)
Jimmy Patrille from The Sopranos -- AKA Artie Piscano from Casino (Vinnie Vella, Sr)
with
Joseph Rigano (one of the bosses from Casino)
and one other guy I know, but can't come up with the name of.
Gotta be a slam dunk, super fun mob movie, right?
Oh holy shit.. What a festering sack of garbage.
Imagine the worst porn movie you've ever seen. And by porn movie I mean one of the super bad shitty ones that tries to have a plot. Then take out all the sex. And leave only the bad acting. It was worse than that.
The story was stupid. The acting was horrific. It sucked balls the size of Maine.
This was quite possibly the worst movie I've ever seen. The. WORST.
I have noticed that if the chick has a puffy or round face then she has no chance with you. Not critiquing just and observation.
In another wife-decided movie choice:I raise you with my wife's movie choice last night....
The Bridges of Madison County
:facepalm:
I raise you with my wife's movie choice last night....
Everybody's Fine
Notebook and Jersey Girl are comedies compared to this shit.
I double raise with ANY movie on LMN. She gets to the remote before I get home- :facepalm:
I raise you with my wife's movie choice last night....
Everybody's Fine
Notebook and Jersey Girl are comedies compared to this shit.
When I was at Auburn my roommate's parents were visiting. My roommate walked into the living room and saw his mom watching LMN. He said, "Hey! Isn't this the one with the asshole husband?" She said, "Yeah! How did you know that?" She never did understand what was so funny.
On a cold and rainy Saturday afternoon, I've been known to watch a Lifetime movie or two.
Unstoppable
This movie was generally panned and I didn't expect much.
But I liked it. I liked Pelham 123, too, and it got the same critical bashing.
There were some extraneous scenes. Why bother to show the kids at all if they weren't going to be in peril? That was a wasted 15 minutes of the movie.
But the rest was pretty tight. Denzel brings a breezy cool to every role he plays. I've come to appreciate him more and more as an actor. He'll take the occasional dud role, but he makes the acting seem so completely effortless it's hard not to enjoy his performance.
The action was well paced, the disagreements between the corporate suits and the men/women in the trenches rang true and the movie steered clear of ridiculous and unnecessary sub plots (with the exception of the damn kids).
I wish they hadn't done the "based on a true story" thing, though, because from what I understand the real story was much less dramatic. There was no arched curve, the train wasn't going but something like 20 mph, nobody had to run across the boxcars.
Just make the movie and keep it to yourself that you heard a story about a train that ran away and decided it would make a great film. Happens all the time. Based on a true story? So was Inglorious Basterds.
I still thought this was a good movie. I enjoyed watching it.
On a cold and rainy Saturday afternoon, I've been known to watch a Lifetime movie or two.
Kate Beckinsale vs. Meryl Streep?No she cried the last hour of the movie, we looked at the movie description on the Dvr that shit said comedy?
Widower vs. Infidelity?
Did your wife enjoy Everybody's Fine? Because mine was pissed after watching Bridges of Madison County.
I'd take the recent non-old people chick flick over the liberal puke I watched last night.
That's good shit right there. You also could have substituted "this is the one with Valerie Bertenelli" and been pretty safe.
Hop
Packed theater. Mostly kids under 14 and parents. Maybe -- maybe -- two or three "full theater" laughs.
A couple of "over their heads" shots that got a smattering of small laughs from the grownups.
So it wasn't a comedy. Surely it could wring some drama from the premise, maybe give a tear-jerker moment (like The Santa Clause was able to do). Nope. All eyes dry.
So what was it. Cute. That's about it. It was just cute. It wasn't "awwww" cute. It wasn't "that's so" cute. It was just cute. Really had nothing to say.
What happened to Kaley Cuoco? She was sooooo hot in "eff You If You Want To Date My Daughter" or whatever that show was where John Ritter had his swan song (see below). She looked absolutely horrible here. Her hair was a poopty mess, her face looked puffy and swollen, and her clothes (except for the jogging outfit) didn't even fit well. She looked horrible and was a pretty bad actress, too.
Marsden? Goofy grinning bastard. Found him utterly annoying.
The thing I was most dreading -- Russell Brand as the bunny -- was actually tolerable. Apparently Russell is only an annoying eff when you have to actually look at his goofy ass. He was much, much better as an animated character.
Animation was okay -- not nearly as good as Rango, but the job on the rabbit hair was very good. The movie just had a hard time drumming up any feeling for any of the cardboard cutout characters. And it really needed it.
Based on the enormous crowd I saw lining up for this one, it's going to make a poopload of cash and be number one for a week or so. Really a sad state of affairs.
Be glad when Kung Fu Panda 2 and Pirates 4 come out.
(http://www.gunaxin.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/kaley_cuoco-018.jpg)
The Tourist
Preface. I love Johnny Depp. Think he is incredibly talented.
I must amend that statement now, however, to include the following caveat: in certain types of roles.
If the character Depp is playing is weird, fey, affected, afflicted with some bizarre abnormality or otherwide prop-aided odd, Depp is as good as there is.
When asked to play a role where he has to exist as an allegedly normal guy and interact normally with other human beings and you get The Tourist. Depp is awkward. His emotions are so flat that they don't register. He delivers 'I love you" and "this was very good wine" with the same earnest puppy dog expression. Might as well have been reading from the phone book.
When called on to perform action scenes, he can't escape the arms-flailing quirkiness that characterizes Jack Sparrow -- and makes that role such a perfect fit. Perhaps Depp isn't playing Sparrow so much as he's just being himself.
I watched this movie with it's implausible, nonsensical plot, its continual contrivances and its liberal application of deus ex machina and found myself wishing for another actor in the lead -- one with the chops and bravura to lend some credence to the role. This movie with Robert Downey Jr. might have elevated itself from dreck to tapioca, perhaps.
But it was still bad. So bad that maybe it couldn't be rescussitated.
Cast was solid but did little with it.
Depp was dreary although he did sneak in a somewhat clever quip about his inability to sustain an accent, something that plagues the Kentucky boy in real life.
Angelina Jolie essentially pouted, sashayed and smirked her way through this turkey. She was useless and lightweight.
The guy who played Chaucer in A Knight's Tale was adequate and delivered the best line, a sly homage to the Heath Ledger film.
The guy who played Count Adhelmar in Knight's Tale was also in the cast, but he was completely wasted in a throwaway role.
The scenery was spectacular if you like a little Venice.
The performances were just so devoid of honest human emotion that I didn't care. I wondered (aloud more than once) if they sat through the dailies and thought to themselves "wow, this is great!" I snorted audibly at some of the asinine "emotional" moments.
The director -- some cat named Doofenschmirtz -- said he intended the film to be a comedy with some dramatic moments. Too bad he didn't bother to film it in that manner. It might have actually worked as a comedy. As what it turned out to be? It didn't work at all. It was nothing.
What is it about people that they can't recognize complete and utter shit when they're making it? I might not could make a better movie, but I could have spent 15 minutes looking at any day's shooting and told them this was dead in the water.
I have a number of rules in my life. Don't eat at a buffet restaurant from 1:15 to 5:40 pm is one of them. Another time-honored maxim is that if a Blu-Ray/DVD has no additional features -- no bloopers, no director's cut, no alternate ending, no exposition, no making of, no deleted scenes -- it's going to be a big old honking wad of excrement. Proven once again.
Dammit Johnny. I'm going to just erase this one from memory.
Depp hasn't been normal since 21 Jump Street
I Love You Phillip MorrisCarey jumped the shark with Truman Show or perhaps Liar Liar.
I made a mistake. No really, a serious fucking mistake renting this movie. There wasn't shit to rent so I went for this one since I had noticed it a couple times while browsing. I thought surely it would be decent since it had Jim Carrey and Ewon McGreggor. To hell with that. This movie has now officially become the #1 worst movie eva; even worse than Bug. Nothing but a gay love fest b/w Carrey and Ewon. I actually heard the words "I want to cum in your ass" come out of Carrey's mouth. We couldn't recover from that. The movie was turned off and back to our regularly scheduled cable programming.
Carey jumped the shark with Truman Show or perhaps Liar Liar.
He rode into the business on a fucking shark. Dreadfully unfunny. Should have been shot after his first Fire Marshall Bill sketch and left for dead.
I've hated everything he's ever been in except The Dead Pool and that's only because it was Dirty Harry and because Axl, Duff, Slash and Izzy were also in the film. GnR in a movie? Win.
Except for the Commie sympathizing agenda in it, I thought The Majestic was pretty decent. He actually ACTED in it instead of the standard Ace Ventura mannerisms in every other movie he does. Dare I mention.....gulp......23?
Jim Carrey?
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
He was good in that.
That movie sucked a 45-pound dick.
That movie sucked a 45-pound dick.
I liked it.
...the 45-pound dick, that is.
No it didn't.
Okay. A 60-pound dick then. I was trying to be nice.
Dreadful movie. Mawkish shit. It's one brain cell elevated from 50 First Dates.
The asinine plot device where memories are hiding memories? Asinine. Shitty writing.
And Carrey sucked in it. Hard.
Allow me to rephrase: I did not like this movie at all. The only redeeming feature was Winslet's varying hair color. At least her rainbow coif was mildly interesting.
So I take it you aren't a big fan of Charlie Kaufman - Adaptation, Being John Malkovich.
And to compare it to 50 First Dates in terms of substance? That's weak. Really weak.
Those movies weren't as great as people made them out to be, it's just that so much of moviedom is so completely and totally mindless that anything that is remotely clever or attempts to engage you mentally is hailed as some kind of cinematic triumph.
Inception was like that. Really not a very good movie, but it was huzzahed to the heavens because it wasn't Fast and Furious Seven. It allegedly required you to think. It required me not to care in the least and to laugh at ridiculous plot holes, but I digress.
50 First Dates had more substance. It wasn't filled with sappy faux sentimentality and logical fallacies you could drive Precious through. It also had Adam Sandler who is on par with Carrey in terms of acting ability. As in a stuffed hamster has more.
The Breakfast Club
One time when I was holding Saturday School, I said to a student, "Quiet down, Wang Chung." I thought it was hilarious.
He didn't get it. His mom didn't get it. Luckily my AP got it and only gave me a "warning."
The Breakfast Club
Yeah. I know.
But it's on and I'm temporarily stuck inside.
I once had a professor who made us watch 15 minutes of this movie every day and then dissect the characters, their motivations, methods to handle their issues, ways to connect with them, etc. Because of that, I sort of lost just how fantastic the overall movie actually was.
The casting was dead solid perfect. Yes each character was a stereotype to an extent. And yeah, the resolution was a little packaged. But the movie itself? Quite simply the greatest teen angst movie ever made. John Hughes should have started and stopped here.
Molly Ringwald carries just the right rich bitch princess tone. Judd is outstanding playing a ramped up version of me in high school. Emilio turns in a solid performance as the jock. Sheedy is adorable as the weirdo. Anthony Michael Hall has the dweeb down pat.
Paul Gleason is somewhat undervalued in his role as Principal Vernon. If you grew up in the 70s and 80s you had to deal with at least one Vernon. The empty threat bully who spouted cliches and thought them life lessons was a staple of every high school. So was the guy who told him to fuck off, like Nelson's character did.
"I make $31,000. I have a home. I'm not going to waste that on a piece of punk like you..... Just as I thought, you're a gutless turd."
That particular speech was delivered to me by our Vice Principal, a bald black man named Mr. Thomas (he called himself Mr. T) just before he shut me up in the "hot box" for an entire day.
The movie is 25 years old (will there be a 25th anniversary retrospective? Maybe a sequel, called The Country Club where we find out that Bender is a state senator, the wrestler works at a factory, the princess finished community college and works as a hairdresser, the weirdo owns a restaurant and the nerd is an accountant stuck in a boring life with a wife who is fucking her massage therapist?). Even at 25, it still perfectly captures all the emotion, frustration, fear, hope, pain, anger and joy of that particular time in a person's maturity.
It's an outstanding character study and one of my favorite movies of all time.
If I only had ten movies on an island, I'd hope one of them was this one.
A good story well told and well acted. Can't ask for anything more. Except nudity and that might have been creepy here.
Roadhouse
(http://www.underculture.co.za/images/starwars_homo.gif)I'm the Cooler...
Judd is outstanding playing a ramped up version of me in high school.
(http://www.underculture.co.za/images/starwars_homo.gif)
Did you not see the smoking hot blond in Roadhouse? Makes it worth watching
Meh. She was fair.
(http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/ActorsL/10740-16104.gif)
She gave my teenage body wood.
Coughlin's Law: anything else is always something better
Watched that movie over and over just because of her as well. That Bo Derek type bikini sure did look good on her.
SWEETHEART....COME HITHER
(http://blog.mrskin.com/data/features/131/lynch-roadhouse-1.jpg)
It's okay...
Ahhhh, teenage memories. I used to love myself to that scene
When you see the color of their panties, you know you've got talent. Stick with me son and I'll make you a star.Cocktail's and Dreams.
Do I think Sandler is a cool guy who seems to be funny in SOME roles? But on par with Carrey's abiity? No way.
By ability I mean, ceiling. Carrey CAN act when he choses to. Sandler is what he is. An avg actor who comes off as being a genuine guy. I don't expect blockbusters out of him. I expect more of Carrey because I know he has it in him. He just rarely shows it anymore.
Jim Carrey?I agree
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
He was good in that.
Hobo with a shotgun
Jeez.
I know it was supposed to be camp. Supposed to be tongue in cheek. Supposed to be goofy gory fun.
Where Machete filled that job, Hobo just didn't do it.
It was dumb.
I didn't make it through it.
The hooker with a heart of gold was pretty, though.
Holly Dunsmore. Molly Dunsworth. Something like that.
It just wasn't good. One of the few movies I didn't bother to finish.
(http://blog.mrskin.com/data/features/131/lynch-roadhouse-1.jpg)
It's okay...
(http://i692.photobucket.com/albums/vv287/eloehr/Roadhouse/Roadhouse2.gif)Don't make me rip out your throat...cause that's my move, I rip out throats.
(http://blog.mrskin.com/data/features/131/lynch-roadhouse-1.jpg)
It's okay...
She's got factory air
And I bet he would like a BIG do over on that smoking thing.
Smoking causes pancreatic cancer?
Smoking causes pancreatic cancer?
Smoking causes pancreatic cancer?
Didn't say it casued it, but I read (looking for link) that during his treatment his body was unable to heal (not that it would have) due to the years of smoking and he contiuned to smoke while receiving treatment.
I heard the butt sex causes pancreatic cancer.
And shitting yourself.Can you believe THIS shit? That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!
Felon
Caught this on the tube the other night. I thought it was OK. Basically this was an episode of Oz except an hour longer. Highlights were a completely unrecognizable Val Kilmer as the grizzled prison vet, some pretty realistic fight scenes (supposedly they hired real ex-cons as the extras so they could show how prison fights and gang beat downs looked), and the daughter from Vegas Vacation getting strip searched after her underwire bra set off the metal detector.
I think there was a moral to the story, the moral was being in prison sucks. Actually it was supposed to show how the US penal system is lacking proper oversight, desensitizes cons even more than they already were, and is utterly failing at rehabilitating criminals. It did a good job at showing this without being overly preachy. Of course, it presented no answers to these issues either.
Oz was some scary poop.
I still have trouble watching Law&Order SVU. I can't keep from thinking of Elliot as Keller.
Good Will Hunting
I know this is an older movie I should have seen, but I finally got around to watching it last night.
Not bad. A lot of parts I could criticize like the fight scene on the basketball court, the "It's not your fault" scene, and the fact that they didn't build the "love is the most important aspect of life" angle enough.
I thought Matt Damon did a good job as did Robin Williams. Affleck was Affleck. He should have quit after Voyage of the Mimi.
Ya'll are fuckin' up my thread....Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system.
I need to watch a movie.
Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system.In future conversations, you will refer to me as... Mr. Sanderson and I will refer to you as... Mrs. Esterhouse
In future conversations, you will refer to me as... Mr. Sanderson and I will refer to you as... Mrs. Esterhouse
In future conversations, you will refer to me as... Mr. Sanderson and I will refer to you as... Mrs. EsterhouseKeep your eye on the fruit, keep you eye on the fruit.
Easy A
I like it. I love Emma Stone.
Fuck yall.
Easy A
I like it. I love Emma Stone.
Fuck yall.
Bridesmaids is teh shiznit.
In depth, yet succinct and to the point.Like fisting.
SkylineYou were kind in your review....this was one of the 2hrs in my life I will never get back.
Meryl Streep (one of the most overrated actresses of our time)
You serious Clark?
Pirates 4: On Stranger Tides
Didn't count on this, but Penelope Cruz did look pretty hot in a couple of scenes, because she's generally not all that.
Johnny Depp is still pretty
:facepalm:
Shawshank Redemption
What's the big deal?
I mean, great movie. I like it a lot. But it's #1 on IMDB.com's top 250 list.
Better than Godfather? No.
Better than The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly? No.
I'd put it in my top 25. It might make the top 25. Maybe.
How many of you fucks are named Kaos?
How many of you fucks are named Kaos?
Who the fuck wants to hear your opinion about movies in this thread?:jesus:
:jesus:
Weak.:23:
Who the fuck wants to hear your opinion about movies in this thread?
I was at the grocery store and saw this girl in cutoff stretching up to get something off the top shelf. I thought to myself, "Those are some nice legs." Then she turns around and it is our 16 year old babysitter. I went home and told my wife, "I heard Olivia has been caught smoking weed, we can't hire here anymore."
Who the fuck wants to hear your opinion about movies in this thread?Ummm Yeah...that's already been covered, back on page one or two.
Ummm Yeah...that's already been covered, back on page one or two.
I'm sick of movies that demonize our soldiers, paint our administration (under GWB) as inept and corrupt and portray America as the evil empire imposing its bogus will on the world.
The Babysitters
Yet another movie that busts a taboo wide open.
It's a little like Risky Business in reverse. Babysitter hooks up with a dad and then helps her friends earn a little side money. Of course it gets out of hand.
Very weird movie. The lead babysitter, Shirley, is oddly attractive. Shows her sweaty midsection and crazily decent tits in one pretty cool scene. Difficult to manage looking at them knowing that she's the daughter of Law & Order's Jack McCoy in real life. (Daa-DUMMMM)
For any guy who's ever hired a good looking baby sitter and had a random inappropriate thought while driving her home..... this is why you keep those thoughts locked away deep, deep in your head where they belong.
Lots of sad, seeking, lost, confused married schlumps finding validation and being manipulated by all-too-mature teenage girls. Living the fantasy -- except the fantasy has fangs.
Only a little (okay, maybe a lot) unrealistic in the lack of consequences. In the real world somebody's going to jail. Jack McCoy (with help from Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson) would make sure of it. Letting everybody skate is a story-telling fail.
But of course everybody skated in Risky Business, too, so it's the filmmaker's prerogative. The final spoken denoument makes no sense, though.
Worth seeing just for Jack McCoy's daughter's sweaty tits.
insert Jumbo's video
It just movedI am calling your IT department!
I am calling your IT department!
Don't disturb them. They are very happy right now.
I thought they cared?
Thank you, you saved me from having to watch the movie, I just saw the best part.Sorry I should have posted the disclaimer.
Sorry I should have posted the disclaimer.
WARNING: It could movePet the sweaty.
Solitary Man
This movie was what Wall Street II: Boring as Fuck really should have been.
Change Michael Douglas' name from Ben to Gordon, change the business from car dealer to financial broker and the films easily could have been interchangeable -- except this one was better, way better than Wall Street. It's the movie Wall Street could have been but failed miserably to attain.
This is one of those "how did this movie miss" curiosities that I don't understand. It was released in 2009 nad just sort of disappeared from the radar.
Top notch cast, but it just vanished. Cost $15 million to make, did only about $4 mil box office.
It drifts into a very grey area early on, brushing up against an extremely uncomfortable and disturbing subject with serious taboos attached. Maybe this is why the film never made a mainstream dent. I'm sure it probably crossed enough lines to cause some pushback.
Michael Douglas, Danny DeVito, Susan Sarandon, Mary-Louise Parker, Imogene Poots, Jesse Eisenberg, Richard Schiff and Jenna Fischer (who says "fuck" at least twice) populate the cast.
An disturbing visit to a doctor sets an ultra successful businessman on a path of self-destruction. He destroys everything that once meant anything to him and revels in his own debauchery.
The film makes no apologies for occasional ambiguity, even at the end. Was anything ever realy wrong with Ben or did he just freak out out of unwarranted fear? Is he really a skeevy bastard or is he just reacting to his fear? Is it young ass or security that he seriously craves?
Douglas is completely at home playing this part. He does the downtrodden rich like he was born into it. He plays the lothario sleaze to perfection. He rolls around in this role like your favorite dog in a piece of dead roadkill. Ends up stinking like hell, but you can't help but like him even though he really has no redeeming qualities.
Sarandon, who I hate, wasn't bad. Her scenes were limited and she didn't over act. Fischer never got remotely naked and I have a hard time seeing her as anything but Pam. She's not nearly as stuck as Pam as Jim is as Jim, but it is close.
The head turning scene at the very end is classic. Closure would have been nice, but is there ever really any closure in life? The ending was as open-ended as The Sopranos finale in its own weird way.
Not the best movie I've ever seen, but as a character study it wasn't bad even though Douglas' take on this skeevy character has been studied repeatedly in film. He's almost playing a caricature of the other skeeves he's played.
Still, if you can get past the taboo (which I won't spoil) check out this superior version of Wall Street II.
I am happy to say it brings back an element sadly missing in recent movies, gratuitous nudity. Sexy women would "happen" to be topless in the 1970s movies for no better reason than that everyone agreed, including themselves, that their breasts were a genuine pleasure to regard -- the most beautiful naturally occurring shapes in nature, I believe. Now we see breasts only in serious films, for expressing reasons. There's been such a comeback for the strategically positioned bed sheet, you'd think we were back in the 1950s.
Being John Malkovich
What the hell was I thinking in college? I thought this movie was some cerebral masterpiece, but after a second viewing, it's utter shit.
I even hyped it up to my wife who hadn't seen it before. She barely made it through.
I think we've covered Charlie Kaufman in this thread previously. You either love him or hate him. I think he's one of the few original minds in Hollywood.
I think we've covered Charlie Kaufman in this thread previously. You either love him or hate him. I think he's one of the few original minds in Hollywood.
It's Alive
No. It's not.
Bad movie. Bad fake baby. Bad acting. Bad setup. Bad performance. Bad delivery.
Bad.
I'd beat that baby's ass
I remember this movie... Typical 70's crap... I was a little too young to see it when it came out, but when I eventually saw it, I was severely disappointed. The television commercials were far more scary than the actual movie.
meh...you are just happy Megan Fox isn't in it.
Transformers comes out next week. That's what I'm waiting on.
meh...you are just happy Megan Fox isn't in it.The new chick is smoking hott.
The Dark of the Moon stretches the bounds of logic a little
Besides the intelligent transforming alien machines?That's plausible??
That's plausible??
With "Transformers," the third time is apparently the charm.
Not that there's much that's actually charming about "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." It is the same sort of deafening mayhem celebration as its two absolutely awful predecessors.
Except this time it works. Or at least it isn't fully repugnant. OK, I'll admit it — this is hard — the big silly thing is sort of great.
An admission like that can end a critical career, the first two "Transformers" movies being among the most loathsome films of the past decade, but it must be made.
Despite having the finest technical talent at his disposal, Bay just flails around like a kid in a 3D candy store watching bots morph into cars and back again and battle each other like dueling refrigerators. Bay believes that you can indeed kick a dead horse forever and the profits his bot epics rake in prove him right. He's laughing (at us) all the way to the bank.
Fuck the critics. Go see Transformers.
Wait..by reviewing movies doesn't that make you a critic? But you like Transformers....but I am supposed to fuck the critics. I am so confused. Hold me.
The Green Hornet
Should have been named The Unfunny Brown Turd
Hate for Seth Rogen reinforced. What a putz.
This movie fails on so many levels you can't list them all.
Ray Liotta and Don Cheadle most underrated actors evah.
Do you watch movies because they exist?
I mean, honestly, what leads you to order Hall Pass and push play without someone holding a gun to your head or copious amounts of alcohol being involved?
Limitless
But the movie fumbled the ball.
Lincoln Lawyer
Nothing to see here that hasn't already been covered.
Wasn't great. Wasn't bad. Emotionally flat.
Completely forgettable. In fact, I already have.
I liked.
The King's Speech
Bloody hell. Could that have moved any slower?
It was fair. I liked Barbosa's character pretty well. He should have gotten best actor over Firth. He was ten times better than Firth was.
It wasn't the cinematic masterpiece I was led to believe.
The Fighter, Toy Story 3 and The Social Network were better films. The Fighter in particular.
But this is exactly the stuffy sort of shit the academy award types tend to like.
Given the chance to watch this or Transformer's 3 again? I'm taking robots every single time.
My mom keeps telling me to watch this. I'm glad you saved me the pain. Your pan is exactly the way I envisioned it.
My mom (who taught english lit at a junior college and fancies herself a member of the british royalty) loved it. My wife loved it too. Both have clamored for me to watch it for months. I've had the Netflix Blu-ray sitting here since June.
I didn't hate it. It didn't offend me. But seriously. We know the fucker stutters and tried to get help. Does that take two hours?
I expect it wouldn't offend, but bore.
It was funny when he was screaming profanities.I expect to say the same thing this season. Prolly several times
Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, bugger, buggery, fuck, fuckity, fuck.
It was funny when he was screaming profanities.
Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, bugger, buggery, fuck, fuckity, fuck.
Blow
Johnny Depp. Blow.
So I was disappointed...
Very underrated movie. Good performances from Depp, Pee Wee, Franka and Bobcat. Didn't care for Penelope. Never have.
Told the at least somewhat true story of George Jung who became the original cocaine cowboy of the late 70s. Found his way into the Escobar circle and was literally swimming in money.
Like a real life Scarface, he lost it all. Corrupt government stole most of it.
Cautionary tale that there is always a time to get out but most people can't recognize it.
This is an awesome movie with a great soundtrack, please tell me this isn't the first time you are seeing this?
Ok. I won't tell you that.Son, we need to help you with your que list. If you are watching shit like McGrubber and you haven't seen Blow...tha fuck.
Son, we need to help you with your que list. If you are watching shit like McGrubber and you haven't seen Blow...tha fuck.
I watch what's on sometimes. I may have seen this one back in the day, but I don't think I ever saw it in toto before yesterday.sounds like Jumbo's forearm after Dorothy stumbled upon the x on the way to Oz
The Omega Man
Cheesy 70's apocalyptic awesomeness.
Charlton Heston at the height of his sweaty barechested Apesian dudeitude. You get the full effect of his teeth-gritted steely glare, his cryptic snarls and his Shatner-esque over-emoting.
He makes it with a black chick who sports a mega-fro. That added to his suave coolness.
Awesome cars. Crazy 70s musical score.
Horrible makeup on the Family, though. And I don't understand why they kept carrying fire and burning shit when they were afraid of lights.
So much better than the Will Smith remake "I am Legend."
Bonus: The head of the family is the guy who ran the amusement park rides in KISS Meets the Phantom of the Park.
Fuck Heston.
Fuck Heston. Fuck him for his shitty acting and his political activism. I want my actors to act and leave their fucking politics at home.
I want my actors to act and leave their fucking politics at home.
If you are putting that qualifier on then you are not going to have much outside entertainment in your life.I was about to say that. Tim Robbins and Sean Penn have to be the absolute worst. But if they are in a good movie, I will probably watch.
The Adjustment Bureau
Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.
I pretty much like Damon. There are very few movies he is in where I don't like his character or his performance.
This fit that pattern. I thought he did a very good and credible job. Blunt is like a low-rent Katy Perry. I tend to like her too. I thought the interaction between her and Damon felt real and wasn't forced.
The story itself? Well, I don't know about hat-wearing forces that control everything but I wouldn't rule it out. We've all had things in our life that are just too impossible to be random and you wonder who is pulling the strings.
The movie was better than I expected.
Not something you buy to watch over and over, but a decent story well acted and worth the viewing.
The Adjustment Bureau
Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.
I pretty much like Damon. There are very few movies he is in where I don't like his character or his performance.
This fit that pattern. I thought he did a very good and credible job. Blunt is like a low-rent Katy Perry. I tend to like her too. I thought the interaction between her and Damon felt real and wasn't forced.
The story itself? Well, I don't know about hat-wearing forces that control everything but I wouldn't rule it out. We've all had things in our life that are just too impossible to be random and you wonder who is pulling the strings.
The movie was better than I expected.
Not something you buy to watch over and over, but a decent story well acted and worth the viewing.
It's actually from a 1954 story by Hugo winner Phillip K. Dick (heh heh heh, I said dick) called "Adjustment Team"
So maybe all that other shit you mentioned stole from this, I dunno.
I wasn't looking for deep metaphysical meaning. And I liked the brims.
The questions I wanted answered were as follows:
Were the lead characters believable?
Did the chemistry between the primary actors work?
Was the film well-acted, well-paced and well directed?
Yes, yes, yep. Good enough for me.
True Grit
Preface: Never seen, never intend to watch the original. Blasphemous as some may think this to be, I consider John Wayne merely William Shatner in a saddle. I don't care for his acting and never have. So I had no baseline or comparison when it came to this remake.
And now the review:
Fuck me.
What the hell was that? Jeff Bridges sounded like he was trying to channel Karl Childers from Slingblade. I kept expecting him to ask for a fucking mustard biscuit.
Remember what I said about liking Matt Damon's body of work? There are exceptions and this is certainly one.
The girl was okay, but compared to Jennifer Lawrence's amazing work in Winter's Bone she might as well have been Wednesday Adams reciting spider poetry.
Why did the entire movie seem to me as if they were doing a parody of Raising Arizona or O Brother Where Art Thou? The funny, clipped and affected speech added to those films. Here it just sounded stupid. I could have sworn I heard the girl tell Hi to "get back up there and get her a Chaney."
I didn't hate the movie, I just didn't care. The interaction between Mattie and the horse guy was good. Everything else beyond that sort of sucked dusty, crusty ass.
I didn't buy Mattie's emotional attachment to Cogburn, I didn't buy her whims of allegiance and her turnaround on LaBeef.
Seems I heard that in the original LeBeef dies. That would have been better.
I don't know if the bullshit about losing an arm, going to a traveling show and Cogburn being dead when she got there was part of the original, but the ending absolutely sucked sweaty pimple laden balls. If that was the original ending just fuck that completely.
I could have gone all my life without seeing this badly done film. In fact I wish I had. Now when I hear people talk reverently about the John Wayne masterpiece True Grit I'm going to think of this boiler pot of shit.
I really hope the original was better. But now I for sure don't want to find out.
Pfffft!
I was about to say that. Tim Robbins and Sean Penn have to be the absolute worst. But if they are in a good movie, I will probably watch.Sean Penn hasn't been a good actor since playing Spicoli
Sean Penn hasn't been a good actor since playing Spicoli
I watched it on a plane a couple of months ago. It made me want to hit the emergency exit....While in flight.
I agree with him. Remake was a total piece of shit.
True Grit
Preface: Never seen, never intend to watch the original. Blasphemous as some may think this to be, I consider John Wayne merely William Shatner in a saddle. I don't care for his acting and never have. So I had no baseline or comparison when it came to this remake.
And now the review:
Fuck me.
What the hell was that? Jeff Bridges sounded like he was trying to channel Karl Childers from Slingblade. I kept expecting him to ask for a fucking mustard biscuit.
Remember what I said about liking Matt Damon's body of work? There are exceptions and this is certainly one.
The girl was okay, but compared to Jennifer Lawrence's amazing work in Winter's Bone she might as well have been Wednesday Adams reciting spider poetry.
Why did the entire movie seem to me as if they were doing a parody of Raising Arizona or O Brother Where Art Thou? The funny, clipped and affected speech added to those films. Here it just sounded stupid. I could have sworn I heard the girl tell Hi to "get back up there and get her a Chaney."
I didn't hate the movie, I just didn't care. The interaction between Mattie and the horse guy was good. Everything else beyond that sort of sucked dusty, crusty ass.
I didn't buy Mattie's emotional attachment to Cogburn, I didn't buy her whims of allegiance and her turnaround on LaBeef.
Seems I heard that in the original LeBeef dies. That would have been better.
I don't know if the bullshit about losing an arm, going to a traveling show and Cogburn being dead when she got there was part of the original, but the ending absolutely sucked sweaty pimple laden balls. If that was the original ending just fuck that completely.
I could have gone all my life without seeing this badly done film. In fact I wish I had. Now when I hear people talk reverently about the John Wayne masterpiece True Grit I'm going to think of this boiler pot of shit.
I really hope the original was better. But now I for sure don't want to find out.
We finally agree on something: Wayne is an overrated hack.
We finally agree on something: Wayne is an overrated hack.
We finally agree on something: Wayne is an overrated hack.
Battle Los Angeles
Pleasantly surprised.
About how I felt. Only thing I didn't like was at the ending, when the Marines didn't want to eat. I've never known Marines to turn down chow.
Wanted to hate the movie.
I thought Just Go With It was funny as hell. Look, you know going in that it's Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston. Why expect Charlton Heston and Audrey Hepburn? It's just the usual stream of predicatble one liners and snappy comebacks. I thought they did a good job with this one and the theater was rolling throughout.
You just like it cause you want to put it in her butt.
Anyone see the original "Straw Dogs" from the 70's with Hoffman?Im hearing from most that this movie blows donkey bollocks.
There is a remake coming out in a couple of weeks. Instead of Wales, it takes place in Southern Mississippi. Looks decent.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7krZZabaC_U (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7krZZabaC_U)
Morning Glory
Rachel McAdams at the height of her earnest can-do bubbliness as the producer of a failing morning show.
Heavy hitting supporting cast including Harrison Ford, Harrison Ford's socks, Diane Keaton, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Wilson and John Pankow.
This is another of the new Netflix "oops" deliveries as it wasn't in my queue but appeared in the mailbox. So I watched it anyway.
Glad I did.
Wasn't the best movie ever, but was oddly endearing. So much better than the trite schlock of PostGrad. At times McAdams was a little too gamin grin and Ford sometimes struggled to provide the right gravitas to the washed up news anchor role he pulled, but overall the tone and balance was pretty good. I believed McAdams in the role and enjoyed her cuteness.
Story meandered to a predictable conclusion, but it wasn't a painful ride to get there.
And a few of the scenes with the weatherman made me laugh. That's a plus.
I wonder sometimes why movies like this that aren't terrible just sort of disappear while other craptacular films get more attention.
She is super hot. That is all.
I wonder sometimes why movies like this that aren't terrible just sort of disappear while other craptacular films get more attention.
Gotta disagree. She's more elfish cute. Her eyes are too far apart and her mouth has a sharkish quality.
Because the world is full of stupid people.
Meet me at the mission at midnight, we'll divvy up there.
I've got the pistol, so I get the pecos
That seems fair.
Meet me at the mission at midnight, we'll divvy up there.
I've got the pistol, so I get the pecos
You are one choosy begger.
Thor
Thud.
At least it had Kat Dennings, who I find delectable. Too bad she spend the entire movie swaddled in layers of clothes and a goofy toboggan.
Everything that makes Iron Man cool and suave and funny and enjoyable was missing in this film.
Big cast. Wasted most of it. Renee Russo: Wasted. Bootstrap Bill: Wasted. Idris Elba: Wasted.
Where was Nick Fury?
I think I'll pass when they finally start linking all these movies up like comics. And I'll pass on the Justice League, too, if it ever gets that far. Given the turd laid by Green Lantern, I hope that project is on hold now.
Heath Ledger as Joker was outstanding casting and a picture perfect portrayal in the Dark Knight. Brilliant take on the character. Too bad it almost got lost amidst the meandering story lines. DK got bogged down in too many side stories, an ugly, fugly, nasty ass Rachel (Maggie Uglyhaul) and a less than capable Harvey Dent (Aaron Suckhard). It tried to be too many things. Should have just been Joker and Bruce, mano y psycho. Fuck, I'd have been happy to watch a Joker movie without even Batman to clean it up.
Thor didn't really try to be anything. Felt like a backstory with some silly extraneous shit tacked on.
IDGAF about the bridges and rainbow walkers and ice cream castles. Too much musing, not enough Thoring.
Another dud in the Marvel line.
100% agree! I never was a comic fan, and don't know what I was expecting when I went to see it, but got exactly what you described and it sucked.
I was a huge Marvel fan growing up with DC close behind. Only a few movies have really captured the spirit of what the particular comic or character was. Spiderman was spot on. Followed the original story lines, kept the characters in tact and didn't try to go over the top to make it something it wasn't.
You need to review this thread. Kaos cannot do Spiderman because Kirsten Dunst
I would have nailed that....more than once. Not much of a Toby McGuire fan but if you grew up reading Spidey comics, he was the perfect fit.
As I recall her face was too round or some such nonsense.
I was a huge Marvel fan growing up with DC close behind. Only a few movies have really captured the spirit of what the particular comic or character was. Spiderman was spot on. Followed the original story lines, kept the characters in tact and didn't try to go over the top to make it something it wasn't.
Has anyone did a review of Kaos' Reviews?
Most movies suck.
A few don't.
"Simmons Family Jewels" should splice together season one for theatrical release. It would win an Oscar.
I just summarized 41 pages of posts.
Most movies suck.
A few don't.
"Simmons Family Jewels" should splice together season one for theatrical release. It would win an Oscar.
I just summarized 41 pages of posts.
Reality TV, including Family Jewels, as a rule sucks.
The only television series I can think of off the top of my head that would benefit from a movie treatment are:
The Sopranos
Dexter
Dead Like Me
Walking Dead
La Femme Nikita (the Peta Wilson version)
Oz
Each of those series should essentially "start over" and tell a different story than TV, though. Sopranos, for instance, I always thought could pick a spot somewhere in Season Four or Five -- bring back Adriana -- and just tell a story from that season. Wouldn't have to tie all the arcs together like the series did.
My movie reviews are gold. Most movies DO suck. Great films are rare.
I fucking hate the way HBO fucked that series up with odd seasons starts, and long layoffs.
K might know, but I have no idea why Chase and HBO did that. Maybe had something to do with filming, contracts, etc. I think the series would have went on another season or two if not for Gandolfini wanting to leave and try other things. He was getting mucho bucks per episode. I think the most ever until Sheen broke his record a couple of years back. The long layoffs made the characters age more (especially the kids) than they really did in the storylines.
Back in 2003 Gandolfini sued HBO because he thought he was underpaid and used a loophole in his contract to say the network neglected to inform him in a timely manner that he was expected back for the fifth season (one of the best, actually).He's done some USO project for HBO as well. Although I find it admirable he did that, to have his mind on that looking forward post Sopranos during the peak of one of the best shows in history and to know that's where his mind was during Season 5 and 6 - IS beyond me. Careerwise - not a good move IMHO. Andy Griffith, Seinfeld, MASH, Friends, Lucy, Cheers - when your show that you are the star of is already being mentioned with these shows, and all you have on your mind is doing a 2nd rate USO documentary and trying to wrap up the show so you can get to this project - I have to question what the hell you are thinking.
He was making $5 million. Wanted $16. Not sure what they settled on.
This came after he asked for and got permission to delay the fifth season (and I think one other) so he could work on some really shitty movies that nobody remembers.
Resident Evil: Afterlife
New record.
Turned this gob of shit off 11 minutes after it started.
That is all.
And I've always had a throb for Ali Larter.
As it happens I didn't see that movie right away. I saw her first getting ramrodded from behind in a movie called Three Way. What hooked me with Ali was her Maxim spread.
It included this photo:
(http://www.ratewall.com/cpics/fb36380d-d09e-463f-bde3-c67e43eb5b49_Ali%20Larter.jpg)
Is it me, or have most of the reviews of recent movies been well-deserved harsh criticisms?
I've got this theory that 99% of the movies being released over the past decade have been absolute shit.
Kaos, I'm too lazy to go back in this thread to find out for myself. Have you reviewed the paranormal activities films? I know they are fake, but I really like them and can't wait to watch the next one. MmmK thanks.
Not sure if reviewed. I watched the first one.
I thought the build ups were great. They did a good job of drawing out the tension.
But I was underwhelmed with the end reveals.
I remember watching The Entity back in the 80s (Barbara Hershey's boobs squeezed by an invisible force). It was the same kind of thing but a little better. It also channeled Blair Witch a bit and I wasn't a huge Blair Witch fan.
They're okay, but derivative.
Not sure if reviewed. I watched the first one.
I thought the build ups were great. They did a good job of drawing out the tension.
But I was underwhelmed with the end reveals.
I remember watching The Entity back in the 80s (Barbara Hershey's boobs squeezed by an invisible force). It was the same kind of thing but a little better. It also channeled Blair Witch a bit and I wasn't a huge Blair Witch fan.
They're okay, but derivative.
Didn't think they were all that great but I thought it was different and creative. They are laughing all the way to the bank as are the Napoleon Dynamite makers. None of those movies cost anything make. Very smart business people if nothing else.
ssg - have you seen both 1 and 2? It seems that 2 shows the buildup to where 1 begins. Kind of interesting. Although I thought 2 had scarier moments in general, the last 10 mins of 1 could make someone shit their pants.
Yes I've seen them both. 2 did have its moments but like you said, the end of 1 was great. I guess the reason I like them is because they are different than the normal scary movie type of crap.
Its the angle of them being "real" like Blair Witch.
And yeah, they are fake as hell. But clever. The new one comes out soon I believe.
I think it's the fact that you are sitting there just trying to find the smallest thing happening and then, BOOM all the fucking cabinet doors open and slam shut.
Yes I've seen the trailer for #3 and can't wait to get it.
When it comes to movies, I'm pretty hard to please.
I want a coherent storyline that doesn't contain ridiculous gaps, illogical leaps, improbable/impossible coincidences and dangling plot points.
I want actors that engage me and make me forget they are acting (See Jennifer Lawrence in Winter's Bone, what a damn fine performance THAT was).
I want time and attention paid to the set. I want creativity.
I want smart storytelling, clever dialogue. I want to be surprised.
In the absence of that, I want to be ENTERTAINED (See Transformers).
I can like any style of movie, but it has to at least try. Most movies today don't. When Judd Apatow is hailed as a creative/comedic genius we are in a world of shitake. The worst Cheech and Chong movie is more clever and creative than anything the Apatow line has shat out.
Is it me, or have most of the reviews of recent movies been well-deserved harsh criticisms?The same could be said for TV nowadays as well. I mean, I'm only 28, and I think TV sucks. A few weeks ago my wife and I were discussing how movies and TV have both gone to shit, really. Pretty much the only shows my wife and I watch are Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, Storage Wars, Glee, Boardwalk Empire, True Blood, and America's Funniest Home Videos (some for us, some for the kids). We have sort of gotten into X-Factor recently. I don't like American Idol, but I think X-Factor is OK so far. So You Think You Can Dance is pretty good too.
I've got this theory that 99% of the movies being released over the past decade have been absolute shit.
The same could be said for TV nowadays as well. I mean, I'm only 28, and I think TV sucks. A few weeks ago my wife and I were discussing how movies and TV have both gone to shit, really. Pretty much the only shows my wife and I watch are Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, Storage Wars, Glee, Boardwalk Empire, True Blood, and America's Funniest Home Videos (some for us, some for the kids). We have sort of gotten into X-Factor recently. I don't like American Idol, but I think X-Factor is OK so far. So You Think You Can Dance is pretty good too.
The sitcoms, and TV in general just aren't the same as they used to be. I think movies are getting worse and worse due to the need to just pop one out every so often. Good ones are just fewer and farther between. And there doesn't seem to be a middle of the road anymore, either. They are either good, or a total dud.
Pretty much the only shows my wife and I watch are
Hell's Kitchen Reality show bullshit. Garbage.
Kitchen Nightmares Reality show bullshit. Garbage.
Storage Wars Reality show bullshit. Garbage.
Glee Fag
Boardwalk Empire Good show, but the Sopranos in the 30s is all it is
True Blood Fag
America's Funniest Home Videos (some for us, some for the kids) Dumb
We have sort of gotten into X-Factor recently. Fag
In the prime of family TV shows (my childhood of course), you had Home Improvement, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Cosby Show, Fresh Prince, Full House, Married with Children, Malcolm in the Middle (late childhood), Roseanne, and Family Matters.
Each one of those shows brought a unique perspective of family life with its own style of comedy.
FWIW? Most of those were terrible, horrible shows. HI and ELR in particular sucked the monkey tit.
TV hasn't declined. Your taste in television is shit, you fucking goat roper.
FWIW? Most of those were terrible, horrible shows. HI and ELR in particular sucked the monkey tit.
:fu: Watching Home Improvement right now and laughing.Unless you watch what Kaos watches, you're a moron. Get it right.
TV hasn't declined. Your taste in television is shit, you fucking goat roper.Yeah, and you like KISS (and dress up like them).
Unless you watch what Kaos watches, you're a moron. Get it right.
I've got this theory that 99% of the movies being released over the past decade have been absolute shit.
‘Cannonball Run’ to be remade as a GM product placement?
By Jen Chaney
(Fox via LA2Day) “Cannonball Run” — the 1981 cross-country car chase ensemble comedy that starred, as improbable as it sounds, Burt Reynolds, Roger Moore, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr., Farrah Fawcett, Terry Bradshaw and Jackie Chan — may be getting a remake. And that remake may be financially backed in part by auto maker General Motors.
Vulture reports that the deal to make the movie is still being worked out, but that GM — a company that came out of bankruptcy in 2009 thanks to substantial financial assistance from the U.S. and Canadian governments — is poised to take “an actual hard-dollar, equity stake” in the film, which would, in turn, feature a bevy of vehicles from its 2014 line.
Because the U.S. and Canada still own stakes in the company (27 and 12 percent, respectively), one could argue that, in a way, we’re all investing in the “Cannonball Run” remake. Hence, it’s important for you to know that Guy Ritchie is the current front-runner to direct (Shawn Levy of “Night at the Museum” and “Real Steel” is also interested), and, according to Vulture, Ritchie wants Brad Pitt — who mumbled pseudo-Irishly throughout’s Ritchie’s 2000 crime flick “Snatch” — to star.
Ritchie also is interested in shooting some of the movie in Europe, even though the original focused on a U.S.-based cross-country race. No word on whether the Middle Eastern oil sheikh character, played circa 1981 by Jamie Farr, will make a reappearance in the 2011 version. (Fingers crossed!)
The ’81 “Cannonball Run” spawned a sequel, 1984’s “Cannonball Run II.” So if this all works out, GM could land a couple of two-hour product placements and audiences could again be treated to a double-helping of the randy, lowbrow comedy that a good, old-fashioned ensemble racing movie provides.
Would anyone be interested in seeing a “Run” retry? Would you be less inclined to buy a ticket knowing that GM played a key role in making the movie happen? Weigh in by posting a comment. But first, watch the trailer for the original below.
Unless you watch what Kaos watches, you're a moron. Get it right.
True...and he and I disagree heavily on movies.
But, he is correct about Home Improvement and Raymond. Banal garbage.
So not everybody loves him?
Some people, in fact, loathe him.
Some people, in fact, loathe him.
Some people, in fact, loathe him.
I loathe him heavily.
Ray Romano is one of the unfunniest people ever. Show was horrid.
^^^This
The last show that I watched that was consistently funny was "Better Off Ted". It lasted two seasons. Work place comedy that just went straight for off the wall laughs.
Best episodes was one where the company installed motion sensors that operated all the door locks and lights, but they didn't "see" the black employees. Hilarity ensued.
Another one that comes to mind is one where the company released a memo that mistakenly said "Employees must now use abusive language" and refused to admit to making a mistake. Hilarity ensued.
Plus the hotties didn't hurt.
Yeah, Chandler and Joey were-
Wait...nevermind. Nothing to see here...move along...
I figured you more as a Ross Gellar kind of guy.
Paleontologists have the best boners...
I was thinking more because he was Jewish. You prefer the Jewish cut down "there".
Y'all are fucking up K's thread.
Good. Maybe he'll get pissy. He's been soft lately.:jaw:
:jaw:
Y'all are fudgeing up K's thread.
Funny to me that you watched 4 more minutes of All about Steve then you did Resident Evil: Afterlife.Steve and Grape or HORRRIBLEEEEE oh and a big fuck you to P.S. I Love You.
All about Steve might almost be as bad as What's Eating Gilbert Grape, how the fuck did they get actors to make that movie. Fuck me.
Funny to me that you watched 4 more minutes of All about Steve then you did Resident Evil: Afterlife.
All about Steve might almost be as bad as What's Eating Gilbert Grape, how the fuck did they get actors to make that movie. Fuck me.
If you don't have kids, borrow some and go.
Back to the purpose of the thread.I watched tonight in 3D, great movie and the 3D was actually worth the extra cash.
Puss In Boots
So many try. So many fail.
Despicable Me, a little flat.
Hop. Just not good.
Rango. Good movie, but still missing one string on the guitar.
Rio, Cloudy with Meatballs, Megamind, Gnomeo, Mars Needs Moms, Tangled, How to Train Your Dragon, Planet 51, Monsters vs. Aliens, Happily Never After, Coraline, Ice Age... the list goes on forever. Each of them had their own charms, but all were somewhat incomplete. Rango, for instance, was more enjoyable to me than it was to my kids because I understood all the iconic spaghetti western imagery.
And then there's Puss.
Great movie. Very well done.
Hit just the right balance between subtle adult humor and kid- friendly charm. On occasions I found myself laughing at something in the film at the same time as my kids and her friends but we were laughing for two entirely different reasons.
The film, a spinoff of the Shrek franchise, could have taken the easy route and pulled in cameos from the green ogre or the gingerbread man or any of the other assorted characters who populated Shrek's swamp. But the didn't. Instead they crafted an entirely new story, bastardized a few fairy tale legends along the way and delivered a solid home run.
Well animated, well told, well paced. And Antonio Banderas owns the role he was meant to play.
Could have done without Zac Guffingkafackas as Humpty Dumpty but there are those who appreciate his work (God knows why) and he wasn't utterly awful. His whining delivery was the only sour note in the entire film.
If you're a parent and been forced to sit through some drizzly shit like Happy Feet, Rio or Cars 2 in order to pacify the kids, pretend you're making a sacrifice, take the kids and earn brownie points at a showing of Puss. Well worth it. If you don't have kids, borrow some and go.
Zac Guffingkafackas there are those who appreciate his work (God knows why)
If by "borrow some and go," you mean kidnap some kids from the local elementary school, take them to a movie, and then keep them in your basement forever, then I'm all in.Don't be ridiculous - you misunderstood - read it again....
take the kids and earn brownie points at a showing of Puss. Well worth it. If you don't have kids, borrow some and go.He's saying you should take them to a porno - but one with women in it, so not your normal fare
He's saying you should take them to a porno - but one with women in it, so not your normal fare
Trannies count as half women...trannie hookers count as zero, because hookers have no soul
trannie hookers count as zero, because hookers have no soul
They're not hookers if they're paid by a third party to have sex while being recorded.How about tranny kids, with lesbians too!
At any rate, why are we focusing on the trannies here? I thought we were talking about more important things, like kidnapping children...
How about tranny kids, with lesbians too!
(http://www.tigersx.com/forum/index.php?topic=16143.0)
I've seen the movie before. I liked it, but it was over the top. You know most people think that the movie was aimed directly at folksy Will Rogers. It was just shocking to me to see young Andy Griffith as a philandering, power hungry bad guy.
I think the manic personality thing was big for celebs in the '50's (remember this is the time of Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, Wolfman Jack, and other people who would just be looked at as cartoonish today). I also think drug use was heavily implied though the way he acted to, and the drugs of choice in the '50's after you moved past weed were bennies and other amphetamines (see On the Road). Actually you can look at On the Road also for the whole manic personality/'50's thing. Dean Moriarty (the real life Neal Cassady) basically was the major emphasis behind the beat movement and later the hippies based purely on his personality, drug use, and antics.
Fred Claus
Vince Vaughn never acts. He merely portrays himself in various films.
Here he fudgeing sucks. As always.
I was hoping the usually good Paul Giamatti could elevate this film. He was worse here than he was as orangutan.
I hoped the typically sexy Rachel Weisz would give me some incentive. She did not, bundled as she was in a fur cap and heavy postman gear.
I was looking forward to the adorable Elizabeth Banks. Sadly, not enough to make this film watchable.
Festering turd of a film.
Vince Vaughn is the worst of the Turd Pack of no-talent hacks which includes Ferrell, Wilson (all of them) and the rest of that painfully unfunny crew.
All I know is The Negotiator was on again last night for the 217th time.....and I watched it...for the 217th time.
BridesmaidsAnother one I agree with you on...perhaps the world is coming to an end.
Not at all what I expected.
2:05:00 of my life I wish I could have back.
Kept waiting for it to hit its stride and all it did was wallow. Kristin Wiig cannot carry a movie. Neither can Maya. Both are better in supporting -- minor -- roles.
A bad NBC sketch comedy full of SNL and The Office castoffs.
How this dismal stink bomb earned critical praise and was considered a "comedy" is beyond me.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Now that's what a movie should be.
Being that it was a sequel it suffered somewhat from sequel disease. It was a little bloated and overlong; it wasn't quite as oddly charming as the first episode; it tried to do a little too much; it tacked on some action sequences that defied belief.
And yet...
Great movie. Action mixed with fun mixed with a dash of drama and intrigue thrown in for good measure. Kept you guessing, made you care.
Robert Downey, Jr. is the man. I hate Jude Law in everything else but this. Here, he's quite good.
Not going to bother you with the extremely convoluted story or nitpick the action that occasionally bordered on ridiculous (and at the end crossed the line completely into absurd).
See the movie. It's worth the ticket.
Agree on Downey. When the dude is sober he's a great actor.
Agree on Downey as well, and I plan to see the movie. Loved the first one. I can handle the absurdly ridiculous action stuff in movies like this.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of ShadowsWhew knew Sherlock was a Ninja.
Now that's what a movie should be.
Being that it was a sequel it suffered somewhat from sequel disease. It was a little bloated and overlong; it wasn't quite as oddly charming as the first episode; it tried to do a little too much; it tacked on some action sequences that defied belief.
And yet...
Great movie. Action mixed with fun mixed with a dash of drama and intrigue thrown in for good measure. Kept you guessing, made you care.
Robert Downey, Jr. is the man. I hate Jude Law in everything else but this. Here, he's quite good.
Not going to bother you with the extremely convoluted story or nitpick the action that occasionally bordered on ridiculous (and at the end crossed the line completely into absurd).
See the movie. It's worth the ticket.
If you liked the movie, give the BBC series "Sherlock" a go from Netflix, a modern day retelling of the Holmes stories.
They did a movie about John Holmes?
Actually...
http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4188022/wonderland_movie_trailer.swf (http://www.metacafe.com/fplayer/4188022/wonderland_movie_trailer.swf)
So, I'm a huge Sherlock Holmes fan. Read the entire collection and seen numerous movies through the years. Really enjoyed Robert Downey Jr's version except I thought they took the disheveled, don't give a fuck look a bit too far. Doyle's character was known to have some "addictions" but rarely did he ever portray him as looking like he was at rock bottom and needing to lean on Watson so much. Regardless, the movie was great in my book.
So far, I've heard from a couple of people that hit "A game of shadows" and they both went back the next night because they enjoyed it that much. Anyone gone yet? Heard from others who have? It'll be next week before I have a free night to go but I'm pretty pumped about it.
Great movie. Saw it last Saturday. You won't be disappointed. It was quite a bit better than the first installment.
That's what both said. Better than the first. I may have to smoke one before I go.
Or eat some cocaine out of your BIL's ass.
Great movie. Saw it last Saturday. You won't be disappointed. It was quite a bit better than the first installment.
I'm surprised you mentioned Elf in a good way. And I still enjoy watching Scrooged. Maybe it's just Bill Murray I like. But I agree, Christmas Vacation is by far the best Christmas movie.
Saw the new Sherlock Holmes this weekend. Damn fine flick. Not sure if I liked it better than the first or not. Loved them both. I think there was more action and funny lines in this one but I found the plot harder to follow. Didn't really come together until over half way in the movie. But, RDJ's acting made up for it.
Yep, saw A Christmas Story about 2 1/2 times. Never ever gets old. My dad has the leg lamp and puts it up in the front window every year.
I've got an order in for the Christmas Vacation Advent House. Expensive but cool.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
And I expected so much.
Honestly I think you expect to much from movies. Maybe it's because I don't pay for them anymore.
Unless you're getting 147 cease and desist letters a day and enjoy federal prison, that is.
Seedbox.learn.it. I do pay for DTV though so yeah they get me there
Seedbox = vagina.
Explain, Lucy.
Ok, I LOL'ed at that one.
We Bought a Zoo
. . .
Scarlett? She didn't look that great but was still endearing enough to work.
I happened to catch a clip between movies either on Showtime or HBO which had Damon and Scarlett talking about the movie.fixt
Damon actually mentioned that he had no idea what they planned on doing when they casted Scarlett as a fucking zoo keeper. It'd be like casting Salma Hayek as a homely school teacher, or Amber Heard as a methed out grandmother.
Anyhoo, Scarlett laughed and said something about just not taking showers for some time in order to pull it off.
Shower or not, I'd still hititDamon's ass like Tyson.
fixt
It's the male tards that always get to me...You get hard for the 'tard?
You get hard for the 'tard?
Godfathers movie review....
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
It is a really good movie...watch it!!!!!!!! :thumsup: :thumsup:
Original or Hollywood rehash?
Original or Hollywood rehash?Did not see original...enjoyed hollywood rehash
Are you serious Clark?
I found the appearance of Cameron Diaz to be disturbing. She is fugly and all her extreme fugliness was on display here. Her face nauseated me.
Are you serious Clark?
She may not look like she did in the mask but shit man, that was 20 years ago.
(http://t.wallpaperweb.org/wallpaper/babes/thumbnail/22375.jpg)
Check out a movie called Texas Killing Fields. Would be interested in reading your thoughts.
You're seriously going to post some heavily airbrushed shit from 1980 as your "evidence"
I could airbrush YOU and make it look good.
She's fucking ugly as fuck. Seriously ugly. This movie accentuated everything about her that is hideous.
(http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/bg/Cameron+Diaz+Bad+Teacher+Moscow+Premiere+6f85wZB6cNdl.jpg)
Do not want. At all.
Not with your greasy weasel
(http://static.flickr.com/46/163976771_f7265435b2.jpg)
(http://cdn.wwtdd.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/diaz_cameron_05_11.jpg)
Couldn't pay me.
I'm in love with this one anyway.....She trumps all:
(http://im.in.com/connect/images/profile/oct2009/Kate_Beckinsale_300.jpg)
HAWT!!!!!!!!!!
HAWTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(http://www.flix66.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Underworld-Kate-Beckinsale.jpg)
HAWTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(http://www.flix66.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Underworld-Kate-Beckinsale.jpg)
I'm sure Kaos will find some pics of her with no makeup while she was sick and running on 2 hours of sleep, to prove that she is really hideous. If any guy shies his cock holster away from this woman, I question his sexuality. I don't give a rat's ass what unflattering pic some queer digs up.
I'm sure Kaos will find some pics of her with no makeup while she was sick and running on 2 hours of sleep, to prove that she is really hideous. If any guy shies his cock holster away from this woman, I question his sexuality. I don't give a rat's ass what unflattering pic some queer digs up.
I hear she chain smokes. Like two packs a day and that could be a problem, but she looks good regardless.
No, she's attractive. Even sans makeup she's attractive.
(http://allwomenstalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/kate-beck-sans-fin-2.jpg)
I hear she chain smokes. Like two packs a day and that could be a problem, but she looks good regardless.
Cameron Diaz is fucking ugly. Face like a broken Foreman grill. I'd fuck eeyore before her.
Thats sad to hear. That will catch up with Kate in her 40's if true. Right now she is gorgeous.
Eeyore huh? What about one of RWS' goatmates?
Is it gonna turn my dick yellow? Cause otherwise I don't see this as a problem.
Can't stand kissing a smoker.
Can't stand kissing a smoker.
Normally I would agree.
The smoker being Beckinsale? I could get over it quickly.
Aqua-Fresh does wonders.
Can't stand kissing a smoker.
Who said anything about kissing?
Just me.
Oh...you're one of those.
Oh...you're one of those.
For JR, this;
Says the guy with the 17 kids.
Says the guy with the 17 kids.
Says the guy with the 17 kids.
Dude better keep the old lady happy, cuz child support would be a cast iron bitch.
Well, with this being the family site as the X is, I can't link up pics that describes what equals for me. I do however know pretty well how that shit happens.
Since you aren't fucking, I mean making babies anymore - maybe now we can tend to some more beer infused fishing outtings this spring.....unless you want to be a pussy.
Bring it gator boy.
I'd like to get that gator and AUT1 together. Let the bastard stare at his Elijay....just let him.
Well, with this being the family site as the X is, I can't link up pics that describes what equals for me. I do however know pretty well how that shit happens.
For Simp..
Please remember that
This has been a public service announcement from the Get Yours First Coaliation. Remember boys, always get yours first.
Or this
(http://s2.hubimg.com/u/190605_f496.jpg)
Oh, so that's what nutts look like.
Please remember that . . .
Oh, but it can...
http://mensnewsdaily.com/2011/02/27/man-receives-oral-sex-ordered-to-pay-child-support/ (http://mensnewsdaily.com/2011/02/27/man-receives-oral-sex-ordered-to-pay-child-support/)
Ferris Bueller's Day OffGreat Movie Bueller, Bueller?
There are few movies that transcend generations. Few that are almost note for note perfect.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off is one of those. I remember watching it when I was just out of high school. My oldest watched it when she was about 14. My youngest watched it tonight. The things that were funny to me in 1986 were just as funny to them in 2003 and 2012.
The cast is outstanding. Ferris under anyone else's hand could have come off as a jerkwad jackass. Broderick played the role with just the right combination of cockiness, smarm and vulnerability.
Jennifer Grey was way cuter with her regular face and frizzy hair than she was after the surgery. She had just the right amount of spaz.
Mia Sara was delicious. She looked like a young Jane Seymour.
Rooney was outstanding. He said more with his dead expressions than he ever could have with words.
The parents were perfectly clueless.
If you look you can see short appearances by Louie Anderson and Kristy Swanson too.
It's a teen movie but it's timeless. I wouldn't want to watch it every day, but it's something I don't mind coming back to occasionally.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
There are few movies that transcend generations. Few that are almost note for note perfect.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off is one of those. I remember watching it when I was just out of high school. My oldest watched it when she was about 14. My youngest watched it tonight. The things that were funny to me in 1986 were just as funny to them in 2003 and 2012.
The cast is outstanding. Ferris under anyone else's hand could have come off as a jerkwad jackass. Broderick played the role with just the right combination of cockiness, smarm and vulnerability.
Jennifer Grey was way cuter with her regular face and frizzy hair than she was after the surgery. She had just the right amount of spaz.
Mia Sara was delicious. She looked like a young Jane Seymour.
Rooney was outstanding. He said more with his dead expressions than he ever could have with words.
The parents were perfectly clueless.
If you look you can see short appearances by Louie Anderson and Kristy Swanson too.
It's a teen movie but it's timeless. I wouldn't want to watch it every day, but it's something I don't mind coming back to occasionally.
Watched a bunch of movies this weekend. Figured I'd share.
The Descendants - As is the case with most movies expected to rake in Oscars, this movie was ok, but I can't quite understand the magnitude of hype it received. It was a good movie. I suspect that if George Clooney wasn't the lead, it would have been viewed as the 6 it was, instead of the 9 or 10 that SAG seems to think it is.
The Rum Diary - From one movie that kind of over-represented the white people in a tropical island US state, to one that even more so over-represented the white people in a tropical island US territory. It was pretty awesome though. All the elements you'd expect from a Hunter S. Thompson story are there. A metafiction "Gonzo" story about a newspaper journalist's crazy adventures that involves heavy boozing and at least one scene involving LSD. Having been to San Juan several times and marrying into a family originally from there, it was pretty cool to see it represented the way it was in this movie. Small things like every night scene featuring the coquís chirping, made it seem authentic. I definitely recommend this one.
The Woman - This movie is apparently a sequel to a movie called Offspring, about a feral forrest-dwelling cannibal tribe getting loose into suburbia. From what I can tell, it's completely unnecessary to see that film to watch this one. All you need to know, as it explains at the beginning of this film, is that one woman from that tribe remains, living alone in the woods. Without giving too much away, the plot centers around a suburban Stepford-esque family somewhere in the south. One day, the patriarch is hunting in the woods when he decides to capture this woman, and chain her up in the cellar to attempt to "civilize" her. The WTF's slowly snowball until the final act, where they spin out of control. This is a weird one, but I liked it a lot.
The Human Centipede II - The original Human Centipede, much like The Woman, was shocking and strange, but still a surprisingly good movie. You're probably thinking, how in the fuck could a movie with that ludicrous premise be even semi-decent. Well, that's kind of why I guess I was surprisingly pleased. I guess I didn't expect much from it, and it turned out to be as well executed, and as tastefully done (no pun intended), as could have possibly been the case for a movie like that. The Internet was abuzz from horror fans about how let down they were by this. People wanted to compare it to A Serbian Film. They wanted to be shocked and disgusted. They felt like a film with this premise fell short of so many opportunities to be truly disgusting. Well, it appears as though the director took this criticism and said "You think you wanted that movie, you sick fucks? Fine, here's that movie then." Shot entirely in black and white, and with very limited dialogue, this movie is about a demented and slightly retarded parking lot attendant, who apparently was sexually and mentally abused by his parents. His mother, still living with him, abuses him daily. This psychopath is obsessed with the Human Centipede movie. To the point he keeps a book with the "medical" drawings, pictures of the cast presumably printed off of IMDB, scenes from the film, etc. And he watches it on repeat on the job in his parking lot attendant's booth. In one scene, he masturbates to it using sand paper. Just because. It's that kind of movie. Apparently, this guy wants to realize the goal that the antagonist from the first film set, which was to build a much larger Human Centipede, consisting of 12 people instead of 3. He preys upon victims in his garage stitching them together. He tries to get the actors from the original to be a part of the chain, convincing one (the "back end" from the original movie) by calling their agents and setting up an audition for a Quentin Tarantino film. Everything that was left to the imagination in the first one, was cheaply and explicitly done in this one. For example, it quite graphically shows him cutting out the ligaments in the victims' knees. There's a lot more blood involved. The shit-in-mouth scenes are more grotesque. In "artistic touch", the only color in the film applied to the shit that sprays out of the ass of the back end of the centipede. How avant guarde! Also at one point, he wraps barbed wire around his dick and rapes the back end of the centipede. Just because. It's that kind of movie. If there is any artistic value whatsoever to this movie, it could be that it is a big "fuck you" to fans of the original, especially those that said they wanted it to be sicker and more over-the-top. The main antagonist is the personification of those sick fucks. And the film itself is what they claimed they wanted. I may be giving him too much credit though. Maybe it just sucked.
The Other F Word - Probably not a lot of people here were into the whole 90's skate punk thing, with bands like NOFX, Rancid, and Pennywise like I was. If you were, don't miss this movie. It's about the dichotomy of being this out of control anarchist screaming "fuck authority", on stage in your day job, and then trying to raise a family at home. It's kind of a coming-of-age type of story about how these eternal children kind of have to grow up to raise their own kids. The film heavily centers around the band Pennywise, especially singer Jim Lindberg. Apparently, the idea for the film was based on his book. It chronicles their last tour, and shows that he misses his family, and ultimately (spoiler) quits the band mid-tour. I didn't know until I saw it in this movie that they had broken up. Apparently, the reason for this is that the whole concept was based on a book Lindberg had written called "Punk Rock Dad". However, it also prominently features Lars Frederiksen from Rancid, Mark Hoppus from Blink-182, Fat Mike from NOFX, Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Art Alexakis from Everclear, Joe Escalante from The Vandals, Tony Adolescent from The Adolescents, Brett Gurewitz from Bad Religion, Duane Peters from U.S. Bombs, Ron Reyes from Black Flag, pro skater Tony Hawk, amongst many other punk icons. I can see how if you were never into these kinds of bands, this would be of no interest to you, but if you were, definitely watch this one.
Lenny Bruce - Swear To Tell The Truth - This last one wasn't a new release, and I really don't have much commentary for it. I didn't know much about Lenny Bruce, considering he died 16 years before I was born. That motherfucker was cool, though. I suspected he might have been, considering all I really knew about him prior to watching this is that George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and several other "envelope pushers" all cite him as their inspiration, and he is often referred to as the first public "bad boy". The film shows how by a certain point in his career, after he had reached a certain level of infamy, he was arrested after virtually every one of his shows, because as one interviewee put it "If he went to a town and they didn't arrest him, it perceived as something wrong with that town." It's almost surreal to see someone say the things he was saying on film in the 1950s, considering that it's miles away from Ward Cleaver, and everything else I've ever seen from that era.
One more, I left out.
The Rock-afire Explosion - A documentary about the rise and fall of Show Biz pizza. As a child of the 80's, this was some serious nostalgia. The film centers around a handful of fans that are now in their 30s, but are obsessed with the Rock-afire Explosion (the animatronic band fronted by Billy Bob the bear). One guy, from Alex City, Alabama, had collected the entire show. He had the full stage exactly as it appeared in a Showbiz Pizza, completely set up and operational in a room in his house. As a hobby, he would program the robots to perform modern pop songs.
Here's an example. If you look at this on YouTube, you will see that there are tons of other songs he has programmed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b90Cf6ARscc# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b90Cf6ARscc#)
Weren't you about 5 when the 80's ended?Eight. Show-Biz (and Chuck-E-Cheese) is primarily for kids under ten, so I was a prime patron.
Eight. Show-Biz (and Chuck-E-Cheese) is primarily for kids under ten, so I was a prime patron.
Show-Biz was the shit.You should watch the movie.
You should watch the movie.Cliff Notes version of what happened to ShowBiz???
I think it's on Hulu for free.
Cliff Notes version of what happened to ShowBiz???http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rock-afire_Explosion#Concept_unification (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rock-afire_Explosion#Concept_unification)
ShowBiz Pizza Place was similar to (and competed with) Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre, another restaurant chain that was popular in other parts of the United States. In the mid-80s, both venues began to suffer financial difficulties, partially due to the video game crash of 1983 and also due to Showbiz Pizza's having opened more restaurants than they could afford to maintain. When "Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre" filed for bankruptcy in 1984, Showbiz Pizza bought the company, hoping that new talent and merchandising opportunities could save both companies.[1]
The corporation maintained the two restaurant chains simultaneously for several years. Each continued its own stage shows and sold different merchandise. However, in the latter part of the decade, relations between Creative Engineering and Showbiz began to cool. In 1988, Aaron Fechter, the founder of Creative Engineering and creator of the Rock-afire Explosion, claimed that the fallout between his company and Showbiz arose when Showbiz asked him to sign away the licensing and copyrights to the Rock-afire Explosion, which would have allowed Showbiz to cut production costs on the show, such as manufacture of future shows and royalty payments to Creative Engineering. Fechter refused, both on the grounds that Showbiz offered no monetary compensation for the rights, and because Fechter had hoped to franchise Rock-afire out as a cartoon series.[1]
Showbiz began toying with the idea of replacing The Rock-afire Explosion with licensed characters, such as Spider-Man or Garfield, and three locations actually retrofitted the robots at stage left into Yogi Bear and Boo Boo[1]
Ultimately, the company decided to enact a process called "concept unification," in which all Showbiz Pizza locations would be remodeled into Chuck E. Cheeses. The remodel included the elimination of all Rock-afire characters from merchandise and advertising and retrofitting/reprogramming the Rock-afire Explosion robots into a new show called Munch's Make Believe Band featuring the Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza Time Theatre characters. Unused animatronics and props were either sold off to other restaurants or destroyed.[1]
"Concept unification" began in 1990 and occurred sporadically at Showbiz locations for the next two years, with the final Showbiz being converted in 1992.[1] As concept unification began at each location, the left and center stages of the Rock-afire show were shut down, leaving only the Rolfe and Earl characters operational. During this period, the characters performed "The Rolfe and Earl Show," featuring the voices of Showbiz employees imitating the characters; the two ran a highlights reel of old Rock-afire shows and wondered aloud what the band would do now, and hinted at the coming Chuck E. Cheese-themed show. "The Rolfe and Earl Show" was the final Rock-afire show; after concept unification had been completed on the center and left stages, Rolfe and Earl were themselves removed.[2]
Eight. Show-Biz (and Chuck-E-Cheese) is primarily for kids under ten, so I was a prime patron.
Bullshit....I still go to Chuck-e-cheese and play skeeball every weekend. Don't any of them youngsters want none of this old man at teh skeezball.
I keed, but seriously - Showbiz > Chuck-E-Jizz by a country mile. Show Biz was the titz.
Been so damn long, I can't even remember where the Showbiz Pizzas were in the area. My brother is teh skiball champeen.
Tell him to bring it
I think Snaggie issued a direct challenge.
I worked at a Showbiz for all of two shifts back in the summer of '90 - switched over to working at the movie theater down the street for post-Sani girls
(http://mrsunshinevegas.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/rat.jpg)My car was not even super keen
I mean, you put the vibe out to 30 million chicks, something is gonna happen.
What happens if Tony Soprano dies, his idiot sister takes over.
The Ides of MarchNot so surprisingly I disagree.
I'm not usually a fan of movies that use a political campaign as their plot vehicle (Wag the Dog being the exception to this rule, mostly due to the cast). Again, the cast makes the exception to my rule work. Ryan Gosling, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti and George Clooney (with a little Marisa Tomei thrown in for good measure) make for a powerful group of characters.
Long story short: idealist political spin doctor gets jaded by the process. Everyone is a shithead in the end...except for the one guy who seemed like the biggest shithead.
Fast-paced and very well acted. Watch it.
Not so surprisingly I disagree.
It bored me. I thought it was superficial. It made so little an impression that I neglected to review it after I watched it the other night.
The ambiguous ending was a fail. The kitchen scene was contrived and hokey. The governor's character flaw was also contrived and wouldn't have mattered in the real world. Nobody would have cared.
FWIW I like Clooney usually. Ryan Gooslem doesn't have the weight of character to be convincing in this role or any other. I pretty much think he sucks.
Gosling is good as supporting just not as lead.
Agree on Clooney. What do you think of Giamatti? Always thought he was underrated as well as Ray Liota and Don Cheadle.
Giamatti is good. Can do just about any role. He has some misses, but he usually handles every role well. I didn't care for Sideways and hate that he disgraced himself in Fred Claus. Did you know he had a bit part in one of my favorites Donnie Brasco? For me, Brasco is up there with Goodfellas and Casino. It combines mobsters, the 70s and Johnny Depp (in what's probably his strongest and least weird role). How can that go wrong?
Ray i don't think much of outside of Goodfellas. Maybe it's because he's taken roles in a ton of really shitty movies.
Cheadle is typically good but seems a little limited in the roles he can play. I've wanted to watch his new show House of Lies on Showtime but haven't gotten around to it yet. It's supposed to be good.
Also underrated IMO is McBongohey. He can't play every role, but he does smarmy cool as well as anyone. He needs to leave the romantic comedies behind.
"Actors" who cannot act?
Ryan Reynolds, Terrence Howard, Gerard Butler, Jason Statham, Ben Affleck, Vince Vaughn, all Owen brothers, Keanau, Ben Stiller (and everyone in his movies), Hayden Wan Kenobi, Adam Sandler (and everyone in his movies like Kevin James), Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid, Russell Crowe (except for Gladiator), Dane Cook, Ashton Kutcher, Paul Walker and Brendan Fraser.
The worst of the worst:
3) Butler -- Exception 300 but only because it opened the door for Spartacus
2) Travolta -- exception Welcome Back Kotter and Pulp Fiction
1) Nicholas Cage -- exception Raising Arizona and Valley Girl to a degree
The Ides of MarchI liked it a lot as well.
I'm not usually a fan of movies that use a political campaign as their plot vehicle (Wag the Dog being the exception to this rule, mostly due to the cast). Again, the cast makes the exception to my rule work. Ryan Gosling, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti and George Clooney (with a little Marisa Tomei thrown in for good measure) make for a powerful group of characters.
Long story short: idealist political spin doctor gets jaded by the process. Everyone is a shithead in the end...except for the one guy who seemed like the biggest shithead.
Fast-paced and very well acted. Watch it.
The ambiguous ending was a fail.
The governor's character flaw was also contrived and wouldn't have mattered in the real world. Nobody would have cared.
I liked it a lot as well.
Ryan Gosling is the new Brad Pitt in many ways. When Brad Pitt first burst onto the scene he was "That faggot from Legends of the Fall". Ryan Gosling was "That faggot from The Notebook".
Brad Pitt came out with Interview with the Vampire at the same time, which was kinda cool, but still kinda gay. Then followed up with Se7en, 12 Monkeys, Sleepers, and Fight Club. I then realized that Brad Pitt was actually awesome.
Same with Gosling. The next movie I saw with him was Lars and the Real Girl in which he played completely against type as a creepy mustached loser that was in love with a Real Doll. Blue Valentine was incredibly well acted. I feel like he got robbed of at least a nomination that year. Again, for most of the movie, he was a bald, mustached, poorly aged, kind of creepy guy. I really like Crazy, Stupid Love. Drive was pretty badass.
I'm team Gosling now. He's dreamy.
"Actors" who cannot act?
Ryan Reynolds, Terrence Howard, Gerard Butler, Jason Statham, Ben Affleck, Vince Vaughn, all Owen brothers, Keanau, Ben Stiller (and everyone in his movies), Hayden Wan Kenobi, Adam Sandler (and everyone in his movies like Kevin James), Channing Tatum, Dennis Quaid, Russell Crowe (except for Gladiator), Dane Cook, Ashton Kutcher, Paul Walker and Brendan Fraser.
The worst of the worst:
3) Butler -- Exception 300 but only because it opened the door for Spartacus
2) Travolta -- exception Welcome Back Kotter and Pulp Fiction
1) Nicholas Cage -- exception Raising Arizona and Valley Girl to a degree
I don't necessarily like Travolta, but I don't hate on him like a lot do. He's ok. I liked Fraser in With Honors and School Ties. Other than that, can't think of a movie he has been in that I liked.
I do think that Freddie Prinze Jr, Paul Walker, Keanu Reeves and Brendan Frazier are some of the worst actors Ive ever seen.
Just to be clear, I may have understated the badassery of Drive.
Watch this movie.
It transcends genre. It is at the same time an action movie, a mobster movie, a suspense/thriller, a film noir, and a little bit of a horror movie.
The "Miami Vice-ish" hot pink title cards, and the Euro-synth-pop soundtrack throughout gives it a distinct 80's feel. Think Scarface.
Highly recommend.
Hey, have you guys heard about this movie Drive? Its bad ass.
I heard the same thing. It's supposed to be like the Miami Vice meets Scarface.
Did it seem real 80's to you? Because I have also heard that about it as well.
I heard the same thing. It's supposed to be like the Miami Vice meets Scarface.I mean, damn, all that has been said previously about it in this thread was "Drive was pretty badass", when I was explaining that Gosling is more than just the faggot from The Notebook."
Did it seem real 80's to you? Because I have also heard that about it as well.
I heard Drive sucked gangrenous donkey balls.Your taste in movies never ceases to baffle, but as much as you like mobster movies, I would think you of all people would enjoy this one. Trying to judge your taste in film is next to impossible though, so I could certainly be wrong.
From multiple sources.
No thanks.
I heard Drive sucked gangrenous donkey balls.
From multiple sources.
No thanks.
I mean, damn, all that has been said previously about it in this thread was "Drive was pretty badass", when I was explaining that Gosling is more than just the faggot from The Notebook."
I felt the need to expound a bit.
No way dude. Ive heard it is awesome. Has a real 80's euro feel to it. Like Miami Vice.
I mean, damn, all that has been said previously about it in this thread was "Drive was pretty badass", when I was explaining that Gosling is more than just the faggot from The Notebook."
Just f'n with Chizad. You can thank Jumbo later.
I've watched the movie and thought it was pretty good. The only thing I didn't really like was the number of times there was this dead silence/awkward feeling moments in the acting. I think that was over done a little.
Oh, did you catch the 80's feel? It was a lot like Miami Vice.
No way dude. Ive heard it is awesome. Has a real 80's euro feel to it. Like Miami Vice.Huh? Don't you dare shit on Miami Vice that way! Drive was lame... a sleeper... a second rate attempt at something resembling a movie. There were some pretty cool parts in it, but that was about it. It's like a group of stoned high schoolers walked into a cutting room, picked up various scraps off the floor from different movies and assembled a "movie". It was almost more of a Grindhouse style movie, but it was a bit too slow for that.
Huh? Don't you dare shit on Miami Vice that way! Drive was lame... a sleeper... a second rate attempt at something resembling a movie. There were some pretty cool parts in it, but that was about it. It's like a group of stoned high schoolers walked into a cutting room, picked up various scraps off the floor from different movies and assembled a "movie". It was almost more of a Grindhouse style movie, but it was a bit too slow for that.I will give you that the first act played pretty slow. It almost could have been an additional genre. More of a romance. By the beginning of the second act though, if your blood wasn't running you have no pulse.
Huh? Don't you dare shit on Miami Vice that way! Drive was lame... a sleeper... a second rate attempt at something resembling a movie. There were some pretty cool parts in it, but that was about it. It's like a group of stoned high schoolers walked into a cutting room, picked up various scraps off the floor from different movies and assembled a "movie". It was almost more of a Grindhouse style movie, but it was a bit too slow for that.
He is cool and I am not gay for saying that.
Whoa whoa whoa Mr. alpha male. Hold the phone there (preferbly an 80's euro style phone).Don't mock my favorite phone...
And Ryan Gosling could kick your alpha make ass.I'm guessing that I don't have anything to worry about...
He is cool and I am not gay for saying that.No... That pretty much makes you gay. Sorry...
Don't mock my favorite phone...
I'm guessing that I don't have anything to worry about...
(http://www.bpax.tv/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/ryan-gosling-kiss-06.jpeg)
No... That pretty much makes you gay. Sorry...
Back to topic though and on a more serious note - Kaos, GarMan or anyone else seen Gettysburg (1993)? Starring Martin Sheen, Tom Berenger and Jeff Daniels. Its nearly 5 hours long so I am watching it in 1.5 hour chunks, finishing the first chunk last night. So far, pretty pleased. I pondered watching the prequel, Gods and Generals first but decided to just go ahead and knock this one out. Thoughts? Im sure Kaos hates it.I honestly don't recall. I'm not really a fan of Martin Moonbat, but Tom Berenger has done some interesting work over the years. I'll check into it.
I honestly don't recall. I'm not really a fan of Martin Moonbat, but Tom Berenger has done some interesting work over the years. I'll check into it.
Sunday afternoon was movie day for the Snags clan. The wife wanted to see a uterus flick so she and a couple of friends went to The Vow. I didn't ask because I didn't want to know. Me and 11 year old mini-Snags decided on Journey 2 because of a lack of anything else suitable for someone his age. Drove over to Carmike 12 just in time to find out....we're at the wrong frickin' theaters. Ummm...yeah.....when you check movie times, you might want to actually look at where it's playing.....dumbass. Turned out to be a much bigger mistake than I thought. Not that I had much of an expectation for Journey 2 other than extra butter on my super jumbo tub-o-corn...but since it was too late to drive to the other theater, we decided to catch the 3D Star Wars. How bad could it be?
What...the....hell? I normally gloss over a lot of the reviews because first, I'm not a huge movie fan, and second, when I do go I just want to be entertained. I don't care about breaking down the acting or picking apart the story line. If it's a comedy and I laugh my ass off....money well spent. If it's an action flick and the special effects are good or the fight scenes are bad-ass...great. I'm easily pleased. This had to be the biggest piece of shit I have ever seen in my life. The acting....throughout...EVERY single actor/actress.....was mind numbingly bad. I've seen 5th grade plays where the kids showed more ability. Again, normally I don't get caught up in critiquing that sort of thing, but when it becomes so distracting that you literally want to get up and walk out...it's a problem. I kept asking myself how the directors/producers/whoever made the decision to unleash this pile of steaming shit on the public. Did these "Actors" get paid? Really?
Meesa no unnastan you, boo boo. What you say ees rasis!!
Final Destination 5
The fourth installment in this series was so monstrously bad that I was hesitant to even watch the new supposed final episode. I was prepared to throw food at the screen, boo loudly and turn the movie off if after five minutes it exhibited any of the epic awfulness of its predecessor.
I was surprised. Usually when a movie series jumps the shark so badly it can't recover. FD5 pulled the entire collection out of the sewer. It was much more in line with FD1, 2 or 3 (each of which was solid for what it was) than it was with the craptacular FD4.
Like the first three, it featured a fresh face for horror. In this case it was the chick who played Amy from The Walking Dead.
FWIW, FD1 had delectable Ali Larter, FD2 brought us yummy AJ Cook and FD 3 had Mary Elizabeth Winnstead. Amy (or Molly as she was known in the film) isn't in the same league as those three but she was solid enough.
Also appearing for good measure was Todd Packer from The Office. Odd and funny.
The movie is just what you'd expect. People die in strange ways as death makes up for being cheated.
The movie delivers a truly clever final five minutes and a full-circle moment that I didn't expect.
Best movie ever? Nah. Best horror movie ever? Not close. But so much better than its predecessor I'm loathe to slam it.
You see a lot of movies I have never even remotely heard of, and I love movies.
The wonders of Netflix.Nah we agree on a lot of things, taste in movies is not one of those. I do enjoy reading your reviews as always.
Should I include a link to the IMDB page in future reviews?
The Rum Diary
I like Johnny Depp. Never denied it.
This, though? Pfffffffffttttttttttt.
I wish I'd had the 161 miniatures and the gallon of 450 proof just to make it through this snooze fest.
The previews made it look like such a fun movie. It was, instead, as dreary as you can make Panama. Depp was terrible. It was like he was playing a combination of Ed Wood and the lizard from Rango.
Terrible movie. Hated it.
Choose
I like cheesy horror movies. This one started with such promise and then fizzled as it went on.
Sadistic jackass forces people to choose their manner of death (or the manner of the death of others). He makes a pianist choose between having his fingers or having his hearing.
Stuck with it because the lead showed a lot of promise. That and she had an amazing head of hair that deserved a credit of its own.
(http://img.poptower.com/pic-33264/katheryn-winnick.jpg?d=1024)
The storyline fell apart toward the end and the killer didn't follow his initial sadism with anything that approached that level of dementia. As a result the B movie faltered to C level.
I think we'll hear more from Katheryn Winnick in the future, though. She has the potential to make it.
The Woman In Black
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596365/ (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1596365/)
As far as basic rules to live by, there aren't really that many.
1) Never ask a woman when she's due. She might just be fat.
2) In a relationship, never ask a question unless you're already pretty sure what the answer is going to be (this applies to business and personal).
3) If you have to choose between work and family, never choose work.
4) Don't eat at a Chinese buffet after 1:30.
5) Don't expect much when a "horror" movie is rated PG-13.
The Woman In Black was ridiculous. Poor Harry Potter tried his damndest, but even he couldn't wizard this one out of the bog.
What was wrong with it? First it wasn't scary in the least. When a movie resorts to blaring the music in order to get the audience to jump it's already failed. Or when it randomly inserts a face screaming for no reason into a period of silence, that's fail number two. This movie did both. Repeatedly.
Nobody is going to care so I'm going to spoil the fuck out of this one.
They couldn't pull the carriage out of the marsh because no one had a car? Seriously? That weasel little car could pull better than a dozen men or more? And if you pull a child up from the bog after some number of years he's going to be rotted away to bones for jeeber's sake.
And what fool is going to walk around some haunted old mansion to see what the silly ass noises are? Or follow footprints without bothering to take up some kind of weapon beyond a candle.
And where did the damn dog go? And what was the crazy drama with fuckstick's wife?
Asinine plot, silly fucking ending and a boring ass movie.
I went to sleep twice in the theater as Harry Potter moped around the dusty old house.
I give this one five solid boos and half a meh.
Didn't think it was good but not bad either.
On some of your questions:
You've never seen a sphagnum bog have you? A human could not pull anything out of one. We're talking thick stacked layers of goo. Also, bogs like that are known for preserving bodies for years especially in Europe.
The nut job wife was possessed. And also crazy from losing her son to the ways of the woman in black.
The rest you asked about is probably just for show and to sell tickets. Walking the house, loud music, etc.
The Woman In Black
. . .
And what fool is going to walk around some haunted old mansion to see what the silly ass noises are? Or follow footprints without bothering to take up some kind of weapon beyond a candle.
So that broke ass car and a rope is more powerful than a dozen men and a horse? The car had bicycle tires for cripes sake. I don't buy that part of it.
I'll take your word that bogs can preserve bodies but I call pffftttt on most of the rest of the film.
When they climbed out of the muck dripping with black goo I was glad to see there was a laundry close by to clean and press his entire suit and dry his shoes completely out. Not a single spot on either. Oh what, there wasn't a laundry? Pfftt pf pf pf pf pffff pff pffffffft.
The movie was incredibly dull to me. If they didn't have the volume turned up to 13 when some random whore screamed I would have dozed off for sure.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Fairly interesting movie. The Swedish/Switzerlandish/Norwayish (or whatever) set was sort of offputting. If you're going to redo a movie with British and American actors change the setting. Would have worked just as well if the rich family was in New England.
The titular girl was interesting in an odd way. The story was pretty well told. It had enough intrigue and occasional twists to keep it moving.
The score was AWFUL and completely distracting. Came close to ruining the film. It was overbearing and obnoxious.
A reasonably good movie but not worth the blizzard of hype that came with it. If they make the second one I don't know if I'll bother watching it.
The original is on Netflix. Good watch.
(http://images.wikia.com/milleniumtrilogy/images/0/04/RooneyMara.jpg)
(http://www.retrodivamedia.com/beauty/wp-content/gallery/golden-globes-2012/mara-rooney-golden-globes-2012.jpg)
I'm surprised Kaos didn't say something about her elf"ish" ears.
I'm surprised Kaos didn't say something about her elf"ish" ears.
You should see if there are any foot pictures.
Why is JR4AU interested?
Instead of Pearl Necklaces, JR prefers "ankle bracelets" and "toe rings".
The Killer Elite
Deniro, Statham, Clive Owen
I like Jason Statham less and less every time I see him in a movie. Most of the time I can't understand his dialogue because he mumbles it and you add his accent on top of it and virtually every line he has comes out like "wazamuhberferla"
Clive Owen is the worst. He's made of wood shavings. His performance here is as usual -- flat and listless. He doesn't even rise to Travolta or Cage level worthlessness because it looks like he doesn't even try, he just drifts through scenes awkwardly.
I tried three times to watch this movie. I went to sleep three times.
It's supposed to be based on a true story. Apparently a boring true story. Maybe when I get through watching it (if I do) I'll have kinder things to say and edit this.
The Hangover 2
Less probable than Hangover 1.
Had a few moments, but never as good as it could be.
Not a big Andy Bernard fan anyway.
Took Mini Snags to see Wrath of the Titans this weekend.
The popcorn was outstanding
That is disappointing to hear.
Truthfully, the coke was a little flat but the Twizzlers were first rate.
Don't know if you were serious on the movie. I took Mini because I was looking for something age appropriate and I wasn't in the mood for a Snow White remake. The special effects were pretty amazing and the acting was decent. Just kind of...meh overall. It was premised around the gods losing their powers because people had stopped praying to them. As a result, the evil imprisoned god, Crapius or Shitakius or some such, was gaining all their powers and was going to be released to destroy the world. Presius (sp?) is the half-god who predictably, is charged with defeating him. Not giving anything away...they tell you that right at the start.
I was. I wasn't overly crazy about the remake of the original Wrath of the Titans, it was kind of meh. I was looking forward to seeing this one it looked better. Sorry to hear it was not.
You may like it. I didn't see the first remake so nothing to compare it to...unless you count the original Clash of the Titans from like 1968. Damn, that snake-headed lady was nasty. Like I said, I thought the effects were damn good. It was just the story line was 100% predictable so it kind of gave it that meh affect.
Question: I saw this one in 3D and I have yet to see a 3D movie where I thought there was any reason to make it that way. I want shit to jump out of the screen at me. I want to that WOW factor. I always wind up asking myself why I'm wearing a goofy pair of glasses in a theater. Any 3D movies out there worth seeing?
I meant the original Clash of the Titans.
I hate 3D (gives me a headache)
Oh hells yea.....Harry Hamlin was da bomb.
Snaggle you have been going to the wrong theaters, porn in 3D is where it's at!
Couldn't take Mini to teh porns. Besides, I don't need some dude's 26 foot cock jumping off the screen at me.skeet skeet skeet
Besides, I don't need some dude's 26 foot cock jumping off the screen at me.
skeet skeet skeet
I meant the original Clash of the Titans.
Don't know how many times I have watched the original but I still love it. So what happened to the mechanical owl in the newbie. Either I fell asleep or it wasn't in the new one. To be honest though, I will still watch the new over many of the modern day remakes anyday.
Kick Ass - Good potential, but how many times have you seen movie studios fuck up good potential. Strike one here is Nicktheass Cage. Strike two is Nicktheass Cage. It's got a 1 in 3 chance of living up to its premise.
Kick-Ass
I could have sworn that Kaos reviewed this one, but a search of the site reveals only this entry:
I avoided the movie because the trailers made it seem as though it were made for children (pint-sized costumed avengers).
This movie is not for children. Gory violence and harsh language abound. I was way more entertained than I thought I would be. Cage does suck, per usual, but the rest of the cast (nobodies except for McLovin, the kid from Hot Tub Time Machine and Gramma from Rounders) makes it really enjoyable.
Worth an hour and a half of your time, but no cinematic masterpiece.
Avatar
Was on FX. Watched about 25 minutes of this. Utterly fucking ridiculous. Most idiotic thing I've ever seen. Turned it off shaking my head at the collective stupidity of the populace.
"unobtainium" Please. What an insult.
There was nothing to appreciate in this shitty CGI fucksterpiece. Garbage, pure and simple.
Avatar
Was on FX. Watched about 25 minutes of this. Utterly fucking ridiculous. Most idiotic thing I've ever seen. Turned it off shaking my head at the collective stupidity of the populace.
"unobtainium" Please. What an insult.
There was nothing to appreciate in this shitty CGI fucksterpiece. Garbage, pure and simple.
Someone talk to me about War Horse. I don't remember it being talked about............search shows nothing.
Is it worth the rental?
Someone talk to me about War Horse. I don't remember it being talked about............search shows nothing.
Is it worth the rental?
Decent enough movie. Not as good as Secretariat and Sea Biscuit since it's not based on a true story but you might can pass it off as a chick flick and get credit.
Dark Shadows
Had high hopes. The trailers looked good and Depp seemed to be in his element as the quirky vampire.
Should have known that Tim Burton's stupid ass was the kiss of fucking death.
The movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be a comedy or a drama and ended up doing neither well.
It could have gone for campy and focused on the integration of a 1500s vampire into 1970s culture. You saw the majority of that effort in the trailer. Multiple opportunities for comedic social commentary were wasted.
It could have gone for a dramatic tale of resurrection and redemption. It tried but failed in that attempt as well.
The script, other than a few Depp riffs (in the trailer), was hackneyed and ham fisted. The performances from Michelle P, the ever present Bonham Carter and even Hit Girl were lazy and uninspired.
As much as I love Depp I've begun to grow tired of seeing the same Edward Sparrowhands, Mad HatterWood hand-flapping almost effeminate performance that Burton seems to draw from him.
I fucking hate Tim Burton. I don't think he's a creative genius of any sort and he's shit on a number of movies that had potential -- Batman (in retrospect), Alice in Blunderland, Planet of the Apes -- and now he bent over and evacuated his ridiculous bowels on Dark Shadows.
I've finally learned. I'm not going to spend money on another Burton helmed picture. I hope that frizzy headed fuck retires and never makes another one.
The movie couldn't decide if it wanted to be a comedy or a drama and ended up doing neither well.
Who wants to see decrepit old men's dicks? Who wants to see old bastards dry humping?
varying stages of nudity and is seemingly comfortable with that.
creepy old naked men
All of the above - VV
I am not gay enough to call Beastly a "nice story."
It's a tale as old as time.
Are you talking about the old men now?
Moneyball
Ok, so I know it was mostly BS. But the movie was pretty good. I hate Jonah Hill but could almost tolerate his stupid mug here because he wasn't playing an adolescent assclown.
Enjoyed the movie more than I thought I would. Even though it was mostly BS.
Ive learned that Hollywood has to take a lot of liberties in movies to make the plot better when it comes to true stories especially. War movies do it. Sports movies do it too. Ive seen good ones in both genres who have taken minor liberties and filled in gaps, and it still turn out ok - i.e. Secretariat, We Were Soldiers, Braveheart, Patriot, Invinceable. Few true stories have a full plot that needs no Hollywood intervention as far as telling the story. D Day and the life of Jesus are two of those exceptions.
I wouldn’t watch jack shit about Saban. :taunt: :puke:Another solid shot to the gap.
I wouldn’t watch jack shit about Saban. :taunt: :puke:He's not Jesus...he's his evil, shorter twin brother.
Ive learned that Hollywood has to take a lot of liberties in movies to make the plot better when it comes to true stories especially. War movies do it. Sports movies do it too. Ive seen good ones in both genres who have taken minor liberties and filled in gaps, and it still turn out ok - i.e. Secretariat, We Were Soldiers, Braveheart, Patriot, Invinceable. Few true stories have a full plot that needs no Hollywood intervention as far as telling the story. D Day and the life of Jesus are two of those exceptions.
When it comes to Moneyball it's just completely fraudulent to pretend that a bumbling first-baseman and a retread David Justice were the catalysts for that A's team.
Cy Young winner in Mulder. Also had Zito and Hudson. Probably the best rotation not named "The Braves" of that decade. Also had AL MVP in Miguel Tejada.
The movie completely glossed over their contributions -- which were killer.
As one somebody said back in the day "you don't have to be no genius manager or GM when you got a pitching rotation like that. Hell a monkey with a dartboard could fill out the roster card and get you 85 wins."
Another solid shot to the gap.
Dude is starting to hit for power. Could be juicing the way the ball is popping off the bat the last few weeks. Do we have a drug policy around here?
Men in Black 3 is a vast improvement over the dreck that was/is Men in Black 2.
Sure the ending is a little hokey but it's a fun ride. Josh Brolin nails the young Tommy Lee Jones. By the way, Tommy Lee Jones is one old looking dude.
The first one was pretty decent. I thought the 2nd MIB sucked donkey balls.She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
She kicked her shoes off onto the floor
She said, "Drive fast, speed turns me on"
She put her hand on my knee, I put my foot on the gas
We almost got whiplash, I took off so fast
The sun roof was open , the music was high
And this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh
She had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
I guess that's why I didn't notice that police car
We're doing ninety in my Mom's new Porsche
And to make this long story short - short
When the cop pulled me over I was scared as hell
I said, "I don't have a license but I drive very well, officer"
I almost had a heart attack that day
Come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway
, Wonderful Life (yes, I know you either hate or love this movie),
Madagascar 3
Never been a big fan of the Madagascar series to begin with. Just sort of ehhhhh about it. It's like a stale joke that wasn't really all that funny to begin with.
This "finale" didn't move me move me.
The Circus Afro TV spots amused me. The sad part is that that was about the only part of the film that made me laugh.
The giraffe/hippo love story? Pfffttt. Don't care. The bear/marmoset (or whatever) love story? Pffftt. Don't care.
I'm just not invested in the characters like I have been in Toy Story, Shrek, Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Pocohantas, Mulan or any of the other amazing animated films that have come out over the last 20 years or so.
Madagascar (and to a similar extent Ice Age) just seem like half-ass efforts. The scripts don't have nearly the same level of wit, humor, pathos and beautiful simplicity of even Kung Fu Panda or Bolt.
Prometheus
Imagine if Alien vs. Predator had twice the budget and its head twice as far up its own ass. That is this movie.
Beautifully shot but a shoddy premise and poor execution right up until the bad ending ripped right out of AvP.
Not a review, but a preview. What do you guys think of the trailer for the new Judge Dredd movie? Seems more true to the Judge Dredd comic and I don't think I have been disappointed in anything Karl Urban has ever done.I could be wrong, but that looks cheesier than the Stallone version judging solely from that trailer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PifvRiHVSCY&feature=colike
There sure are a lot of people named Kaos.
Brave
But this Pixar film just didn't work for me.
There wasn't enough of the brilliant humor that drove the Shrek films (and Puss) and the story didn't quite have the emotional and visual power of even Beauty and the Beast or Mermaid.
It could have been Brave and at least looked in the direction of making a Brave statement, but in the end it copped out.
Compared to Adam Sandler's latest shoot fest (which I refuse to even watch) this movie would earn 40 stars. But compared to Shrek, Puss, Toy Story, etc.? It barely registers 2.
Not a review, but a preview. What do you guys think of the trailer for the new Judge Dredd movie? Seems more true to the Judge Dredd comic and I don't think I have been disappointed in anything Karl Urban has ever done.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PifvRiHVSCY&feature=colike
Shrek is actually DreamWorks but I think I follow what your going with here.
Sad to read this one pussed out like that. This summer has blown chunks so far for me. Hoping August turns it around because July is determined to not be good save Christopher Nolan's latest mindfudge.
Spiderman should actually help July's cause coming out July 3rd (Holiday time). Whether it's good or not, it will make huge sums of money. Looks good to me.
They just can't get the Spiderman casting right. This new dude? Please. Peter Parker is not a scrawny, wormy fuck.
Very bad choice.
I could be wrong but I expect the new spiderman to suck -- despite the casting of the edible Emma Stone.
Will wait for DVD.
I don't think the new Spiderman looks any different than the Tobey Spiderman.
I don't think the new Spiderman looks any different than the Tobey Spiderman.
They just can't get the Spiderman casting right. This new dude? Please. Peter Parker is not a scrawny, wormy fuck.Uhhh what Spiderman did you read? Yes he was.
Uhhh what Spiderman did you read? Yes he was.
Not wormy, but he was scrawny. He was a smart assed nerd. I don't care for Tobey Mcguire in the roll nor the direction they took the movie(s), but from a looks standpoint he nailed Spiderman.
I never read the yellowed-out 1945 Spiderman.
I never read the yellowed-out 1945 Spiderman. My point of reference was the 1970s.Point is he was supposed to be an everyman... someone who was kind of nerdy dork that turned into a superhero. He didn't have money like Batman, he wasn't an alien like Superman. All the comic renditions I have looked at (including the one above) he was lean and agile and had a smart assed sense of humor (he had an athletic build). He wasn't built like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_iW5bCdxTvCw/R1TH4mdzLII/AAAAAAAAA24/Z1DuVOobrYU/s1600-R/61JV73KFFEL._SS500_.jpg)
(http://bestweekever.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/tobey_maguire_ripped.jpg)
I consider that an athletic build
somebody with a mannish build would be nice.
It's CGI. In real life both he and the new scrawny nerd have sunk-in chests. They weigh about 100 pounds. They didn't CGI him in the rest of the movie.
From what I remember from the comics (and Spiderman was never my favorite) he was always fairly buff. Not a no-ass stick figure like these two. Not saying he has to be Ferrigno or even Dwayne The Rock, but somebody with a mannish build would be nice.
You have VV's attention...again.
Great. Something else to deduct.
I never read the yellowed-out 1945 Spiderman. My point of reference was the 1970s.
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_iW5bCdxTvCw/R1TH4mdzLII/AAAAAAAAA24/Z1DuVOobrYU/s1600-R/61JV73KFFEL._SS500_.jpg)
No Magic Mike review???? Vandy's gonna blow.
Human Centipede 2
Please give me that 90 minutes back.
What a fetid pile of shoot.
No Magic Mike review???? Vandy's gonna blow.
I got your Magic Mike review...How were Olivia Munn's tittays?
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Oh snap.
Oooooo, baby, come to momma.
DAMN.
Holy shit.
Yummy yummy yummy.
Oh, yeah, do that again...
Oh, Mr Fireman Joe Manganiello, thank you taking your shirt off before rescuing my cat from that tree.
Yes, you are both an officer and a gentleman but I like the choker whites best in a pile on the floor.
And Channing Tatum... hubba hubba... the boy has some damn SKILLZ!!!!!!!
Somebody get momma a fan cuz it is fucking HOT up in here and it is NOT the weather...
********************************************
Bottom line (and my my MY what some fine as hell bottoms they were...) - the plot sucked, which is sad because it definitely had potential. Not sure what the hell the writer/producer was going for. But I guaran-damn-tee you I would have paid twice the ticket price to just sit and watch those boys dance for two solid hours. Sweet heavens, that was more eye candy than one woman could stand all at once. If the all male revues are anything like that in real life, I do not think my heart could stand it.
So plot? Who gives a crap!! Mowar strippers!!!!!
I went to see it with the new girl - and we have decided we need an all-X dance team. To be considered, we will need each of you to please send us your best audition video and pics of your asses in a thong. Don't be afraid - we will be gentle.
I give Magic Mike a five out of five pelvic thrusts and a g-string loaded with cash.
I went to see it with the new girl - and we have decided we need an all-X dance team. To be considered, we will need each of you to please send us your best audition video and pics of your asses in a thong. Don't be afraid - we will be gentle.
My dancing skills are so epic that when the music stops it is at least 10 minutes before my gut and ass stop doing the wave.
total overkill on the F-Bombs.
How were Olivia Munn's tittays?
there were titties? I don't remember that at all.
there were titties? I don't remember that at all.
they were sitting right next to you. perky. spectacular. succulent.:hug:
Pics or it didn't happen.
The wife, daughter and several friends went to see MM yesterday. All said weak plot, hot dancing but total overkill on the F-Bombs. Kind of took away from an already meh movie.....except for the dancing. They liked the dancing.That doesn't sound awkward for your daughter at all.
That doesn't sound awkward for your daughter at all.
That doesn't sound awkward for your daughter at all.
She's 21 and dances for a living. Not on a pole...well, not very often.And likes movies about bouncing cocks.
And likes movies about bouncing cocks.
:pics:
No kidding. My mom actually got miffed that I did not ask her to accompany me and the new girl to see the movie. Not that I needed another one to add to the LONG list of reasons why there was no way in hell I would see that with her, but once it was over, with all the language? VERY GLAD she was not there. She would have bitched about that all the way home, and would have lectured me about "that smutty movie you took me to see" for years to come.
Is that why I keep getting a virus? I knew it had to be something.
Chlamydia is a bitch to get rid of.
Day Glo sportswear effectively wards off any kind of sexually transmitted disease.
And any kind of sex.
And any interest from the opposite sex.
And...
Day Glo sportswear effectively wards off any kind of sexually transmitted disease.
And any kind of sex.
And any interest from the opposite sex.
And...
Day Glo sportswear effectively wards off any kind of sexually transmitted disease.
And any kind of sex.
And any interest from the opposite sex.
And...
I don't know. I heard that Dayglow actually adds ten inches...
Just curious. Where does one get this Dayglow apparel? Not that I want any...or need any. Just askin'.
Just curious. Where does one get this Dayglow apparel? Not that I want any...or need any. Just askin'.
Not that I went here-found this by accident.
http://www.zazzle.com/dayglow+tshirts
Sweet, now I can get that extra 10 inche...I mean.. :haha: you've been ordering Dayglow shirts
Looking to trade shirts for two game tickets.
The hustle...it was good.
I'd rather watch John Travolta and Nick Cage wear bama gear and do an extended remake of Brokeback Mountain than this.
Katy Perry: Part of Me
Surprisingly sweet and touching. Well produced and effectively edited. The concert sequences were beautiful, colorful, bold and sparkling just like her.
Based on what I saw of her concert in the film, it was definitely something a KISS fan could appreciate. I hope she tours again soon because it would be well worth the money to see that in person. And almost definitely worth premium seats/access.
I adore Katy Perry in wholesome ways I never thought possible. The movie humanized her. It stripped away the sex symbol persona to reveal a little glimpse of the person inside. I adore that person.
Probably not for everybody but as a dad with a 12-year old daughter who aspires to scale the same heights Katy has, it was definitely a good show.
I'd see it again.
First, let me say:
:jaw:
Second, I saw a televised special of some sort awhile back about Katy Perry and her parents' uber conservative religious fervor. They aren't too happy about the sex symbol persona that she developed in order to sell her brand.
For a pop star whose songs rarely have any sort of deeper meaning, it was surprisingly interesting to see her personal side and how she was raised.
It was also interesting to see her scantily clad while preparing for shows.
Katy Perry: Part of MeSurprisingly sweet and touching. Well produced and effectively edited. The concert sequences were beautiful, colorful, bold and sparkling just like her.
Based on what I saw of her concert in the film, it was definitely something a KISS fan could appreciate. I hope she tours again soon because it would be well worth the money to see that in person. And almost definitely worth premium seats/access.
I adore Katy Perry in wholesome ways I never thought possible. The movie humanized her. It stripped away the sex symbol persona to reveal a little glimpse of the person inside. I adore that person.
Probably not for everybody but as a dad with a 12-year old daughter who aspires to scale the same heights Katy has, it was definitely a good show.
I'd see it again.
The movie rocked because she is UBER hot.
FIXT
The Help
Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers.
Except it wasn't like that at all. Hotness very quickly became a non-factor. Wasn't a part of the narrative.
The Help
Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers.
Yet another double helping of white southern guilt where the only characters with any virtue. morality or integrity are either black or Yankee-driven.
Such utter bullshit. Complete and utter fucking horse fucking manure.
The film was done reasonably well and there may have been some truth to parts of it. But things warn't like they was portrayed. Still that's what my children and most other folks who didn't live in that time will consider to be the truth.
When I was a little kid most of the families we knew had domestic help. People were hired to cook, clean, and help out with the babies (most folks had large families if you remember. Seven kids wasn't a rarity). There were no doo-doo pies. Nobody was calling out lynch squads or accusing people of stealing just to set them up. Can't speak for all, but most of the families I knew formed genuine bonds and relationships with the people who worked in our houses. It wasn't a world of abuse, shame, degradation and pettiness. People did their jobs. The help was part of the family. Just like Alice on the Brady Bunch.
BTW, the Home Help Sanitation Initiative which was a major component of this film was completely fictional. There's no indication anyone ever forced the help to have separate facilities or build separate facilities for them to use. Utter bullshit. The author of this load of excrement excuses her literary license by saying "it very well could have existed, but it didn't."
I think I'm going to do a movie about the NAACP and have one of the characters describe the "Murder Honky Initiative" in detail. It wasn't real, but it very well could have existed.
Because the movie twisted historical fact I'm compelled to tell it to go fuck itself.
Emma Stone is still pretty damn great. Ugly as some think she is, she's good.
PERCENTAGE OF SOUTHERNERS WHO OWNED SLAVES IN 1860
25% were slaves owners -
of that 25%:
52% owned 1-5 slaves;
35% owned 6-9 slaves;
11% owned 20-99 slaves; and
1% owned 100 or more slaves
This is what is being taught though. I visited Gettysburg a couple of months ago and the general theme of the whole museum was complete shit.
(http://i108.photobucket.com/albums/n20/auwilson22/Gettysburg.jpg)
Umm...what?
No mention of states rights anywhere in there? Really?
Every part of the museum talked about how southerners thought they were the superior race while the northerners just wanted everyone to be equal. Now I am not naive enough to know that some of this didn't exsist...but the whole war fought over it? Nope.
So, you are telling me that there were over 1,000,000 confederate soldiers, of which over 260,000 of them died, so a small fucking percentage of white dudes could keep their slaves? Nope.
But you won't see that fucking taught anywhere.
Again, I am not saying that slavery was right. It wasn't. But to teach that this was the fundamental reason for the war, which creates a fictional history like the one presented in this movie, is factually wrong.
I am going to stop now before I really get going...
This is a huge :soap: for me...
Total agree. I get real riled up about portrayed Civil War history in the media as well. They always seem to mention nothing but the Confederate hicks who just wanted to own black people and wished for the demise of the country, but good old Abe - he saved us all and was able to put those rebel rousing, slave owning mutants in their place and save the whole darned country.... Just like the FDR/Great Depression propoganda. :facepalm:Don't you talk shit about Abe...he killed vampires mother fucker.
First off teachers need to teach the definition of a civil war.
We were not in a civil war. We did not want control of their government. We wanted control of ours.
Big difference.
Or to add to that, the fed gov't wanted too much to control us beyond their bounds. Tenth amendment bitches.
The Help
Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers.
Yet another double helping of white southern guilt where the only characters with any virtue. morality or integrity are either black or Yankee-driven.
Such utter bullshit. Complete and utter fucking horse fucking manure.
The film was done reasonably well and there may have been some truth to parts of it. But things warn't like they was portrayed. Still that's what my children and most other folks who didn't live in that time will consider to be the truth.
When I was a little kid most of the families we knew had domestic help. People were hired to cook, clean, and help out with the babies (most folks had large families if you remember. Seven kids wasn't a rarity). There were no doo-doo pies. Nobody was calling out lynch squads or accusing people of stealing just to set them up. Can't speak for all, but most of the families I knew formed genuine bonds and relationships with the people who worked in our houses. It wasn't a world of abuse, shame, degradation and pettiness. People did their jobs. The help was part of the family. Just like Alice on the Brady Bunch.
BTW, the Home Help Sanitation Initiative which was a major component of this film was completely fictional. There's no indication anyone ever forced the help to have separate facilities or build separate facilities for them to use. Utter bullshit. The author of this load of excrement excuses her literary license by saying "it very well could have existed, but it didn't."
I think I'm going to do a movie about the NAACP and have one of the characters describe the "Murder Honky Initiative" in detail. It wasn't real, but it very well could have existed.
Because the movie twisted historical fact I'm compelled to tell it to go fuck itself.
Emma Stone is still pretty damn great. Ugly as some think she is, she's good.
Emma Stone is still pretty damn great. Ugly as some think she is, she's good.
Who the hell thinks Emma Stone is ugly? Show yourselves.
It isn't my hand that's rising.Yeah for once, you are still crazy though.
(http://feetbanks.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/emma_stone_03.jpg)
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m622solJ541qixct4o2_500.gif)
+1Wait...you think this is ugly?
Dark Knight Rising
Second. Viewing.
Liked it the second time much better than the first.
Saw my name spraypainted on a wall prior to the police/horde clash. Like this: KAO$. I like that.
Still some misses, but much more satisfied with the overall result. Except perhaps the cliched and cornball last five minutes.
Theater was full. Some parts got audible reactions (positive) but there was no clapping and cheering like there was for Avengers.
Definitely watch it though.
QuoteOk...the review:
It wasn't horrible. It was pretty good. However, after the first two, I expected much, much better. Ending the trilogy should have been legendary. Hell, everything Nolan has ever made - except Inception which was still a good movie - is in my top twenty of all time.
But this? This was a total let down. I left the movie with so many questions - not about the plot because who could really care about it? - about bad lines, bad writing, and bad decisions.
Here they are. Answer if you can. I may like it better:
1. Who the fuck is Catwoman? We know she's trying to get away from Bane for something. Not sure what. We know he wants to kill her. But he never does, and if there's one thing it seems that Bane can do well, it's find and kill people.
2. How does one survive a nuclear blast? No suit of armor or aircraft or magic League of Shadows dust can save someone from a direct shot of a nuclear bomb. So either the writing was terrible with the ending OR Batman got out.
And if he got out, then that ruins everything the movie was building with Batman, Bruce, and his love for Gotham.
The movie should have ended with his sacrifice. But it didn't. And since it didn't, that means Bruce ejected from the plane that was - as stated THREE times - erratic and unreliable with its autopilot. So Bruce cared more about his life than Gotham because if the plane was on autopilot, he ran the risk of it still destroying Gotham, which was stated by Lucius Fox earlier in the movie.
3. Robin. Are you fucking kidding me? ROBIN? Robin is one of the lamest characters of all time. He should have been written out a long time ago, and I thought Nolan was finally doing the world a justice and deleting him from the lore. But no. He had to show up. Except now he's not just Robin. He's Batman Robin. Even better. Robin completely takes over Batman's role. Thank God we won't see a fourth movie made with that homosexuality.
4. The plot twist. (WARNING BIG SPOILER). Talia. Ok, isn't Talia supposed to love Bruce Wayne? Like an unending, obsessive, everlasting love for Bruce and the type of love that pushes her to destroy shit just to be with him for eternity?
Anyways, back to the movie. You don't use the side character that seems to have very little to do with the overall plot. That's not who you use for the plot twist. I didn't give a shit about Miranda except that she had big boobs (and why did Bruce sleep with her? What did that contribute to the movie?). So when suddenly she's the main villain, I lost interest.
Even though it would have been worse from a plot point of view, conventional writing would have had Catwoman be Talia. That would at least explain her superhuman skills.
5. Alfred. Where did Alfred go? I thought they were setting up Alfred to die. He was Bruce's new father. That was a big part of the beginning. But Alfred just disappeared. Then came back to cry. Then went to a restaurant to be happy.
6. That's the biggest complaint of the movie. The emotional rollercoaster - and not in a good way. Nolan killed Batman. But he didn't! Bane is a maniacal, unstoppable killing machine who Batman must stop! Nope! Just a "protector" of Ghul's daughter (by the way, Ghul's immortal without a mention of the Lazarus Pit). Alfred's super sad because he let Bruce Wayne down. No, he's still alive and happy with Catwoman!
7. How the fuck did Bruce Wayne get back into Gotham? He's stuck in a prison buried deep within some Arabian desert and gets out. Hurray! My first question after this was, "Wow. How's he going to get back into the city with the bridges out, the tunnels blocked, and the military guarding anyone from coming and going?
Oh, welp, he got in just fine. In fact, walked right up to where Catwoman was using an apple to whip two dude's asses.
Now, before you think I absolutely hated it, I didn't. I really didn't. It was a good, exciting blockbuster superhero comic book movie. But Nolan was supposed to do more than that. This was ordinary. Batman Begins and The Dark Knight were legendary.
The movie should have ended with his sacrifice. But it didn't. And since it didn't, that means Bruce ejected from the plane that was - as stated THREE times - erratic and unreliable with its autopilot. So Bruce cared more about his life than Gotham because if the plane was on autopilot, he ran the risk of it still destroying Gotham, which was stated by Lucius Fox earlier in the movie.
The autopilot was fixed with a software patch 6 months earlier.
I also saw Matthew McBongohey do a gratuitous strip routine while a KISS song blared from the soundtrack. Loved that part.
From the guy who called me gay for liking Ryan Gosling's movies.:pwnd:
Magic Mike
Expected to hate it or be bored. Didn't and wasn't.
It tried to be deep but was actually pretty shallow. I saw no weiners. I saw Olivia Munn's unimpressive -- totally unimpressive -- titties.
I also saw Matthew McBongohey do a gratuitous strip routine while a KISS song blared from the soundtrack. Loved that part. McBongohey oozed sleaze as only he can and helped elevate this film from total dreck.
It's not going to win any awards. The problem with the film was that it addressed a controversial topic but failed to take any risks. It wasn't nearly as on the edge as I anticipated.
Wife and I were on date night and this was the only movie not sold out that didn't start at midnight. I went thinking it would pay off dividends later ;) . The wife was dissapointed, she thought it was going to be some kind of romantic comedy WITH STRIPPERS! but it turned out to try to be "Boogie Nights" WITH STRIPPERS! and not very good acting, or writing, or dialogue. But WITH STRIPPERS!
We laughed last weekend as we went into the movies. I actually talked the wife into seeing Ted with me.
Never before in America have men lined up to see a movie about a teddy bear, while the women waited in droves to see a movie about strippers.
While we were waiting for the movie to start I counted all the guys in the room. There were two, including myself. What was really awkward was the other dude looked to be about 16 and was there with his girlfriend and what had to either be his or his girlfriend's mother.
At least one glittery pimp cup.
Congrats to Prowler! I had no idea he was getting married.
Liking Ryan Gosling = Super homo(http://rlv.zcache.com/overruled_sticker-p217535071049965528z85xz_400.jpg)
Appreciating the sleaziness of a Matthew McBongohey performance in a non romcom role with the backbeat of a song from the greatest American rock band of all time roaring from the speakers? = American male nirvana
(http://rlv.zcache.com/overruled_sticker-p217535071049965528z85xz_400.jpg)
The fact you saw this movie is evidence enough.
(http://www.nytorch.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/veto.png)You can't veto, sorry judgement has been made. While Wes's statement for Gosling was ghey, your statement coupled with the watching of the movie was ghey-er. Plus he nailed you on it. Jury please strike the plaintiffs last comments from the record.
I'll watch almost any movie.
You can't veto, sorry judgement has been made. While Wes's statement for Gosling was ghey, your statement coupled with the watching of the movie was ghey-er. Plus he nailed you on it. Jury please strike the plaintiffs last comments from the record.
Your definition of nailage needs work.as does your definition of pwnd. It sucks, I know, deal with it and move on.
as does your definition of pwnd.
Seriously, though you are both ghey.
So they will not be eating at Chick-Fil-A?
Not only will we be eating there, but I will be mouth kissing wes with greasy chicken lips in the aftermath of fried poultry goodness.
hmm... I think I might go get me some today.
The Help
Yet another movie that portrays Southerners as uneducated rebels who cling to dying traditions in the face of the fabulous, urbane, witty New Yorkers.
Yet another double helping of white southern guilt where the only characters with any virtue. morality or integrity are either black or Yankee-driven.
Such utter bullshit. Complete and utter fucking horse fucking manure.
The film was done reasonably well and there may have been some truth to parts of it. But things warn't like they was portrayed. Still that's what my children and most other folks who didn't live in that time will consider to be the truth.
When I was a little kid most of the families we knew had domestic help. People were hired to cook, clean, and help out with the babies (most folks had large families if you remember. Seven kids wasn't a rarity). There were no doo-doo pies. Nobody was calling out lynch squads or accusing people of stealing just to set them up. Can't speak for all, but most of the families I knew formed genuine bonds and relationships with the people who worked in our houses. It wasn't a world of abuse, shame, degradation and pettiness. People did their jobs. The help was part of the family. Just like Alice on the Brady Bunch.
BTW, the Home Help Sanitation Initiative which was a major component of this film was completely fictional. There's no indication anyone ever forced the help to have separate facilities or build separate facilities for them to use. Utter bullshit. The author of this load of excrement excuses her literary license by saying "it very well could have existed, but it didn't."
I think I'm going to do a movie about the NAACP and have one of the characters describe the "Murder Honky Initiative" in detail. It wasn't real, but it very well could have existed.
Because the movie twisted historical fact I'm compelled to tell it to go fuck itself.
Emma Stone is still pretty damn great. Ugly as some think she is, she's good.
Took Mini-Snags to see The Amazing Spiderman. Andrew Garfield played Peter Parker and to me, is a much more believable PP than Toby McMuffin. Pretty entertaining movie but I hadn't paid attention to any of the trailers so I went in expecting to see a whole new story line. It wasn't. It basically was the original Spiderman story that focused more on PP as a kid and losing his parents, how he became Spidey and a different twist on his love interest with Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone)
The "Villian" is a badass lizard on a Barry Bonds-esque roid regimen. Dennis Leary plays the police chief and Gwen Stacy's dad so there's some good scenes with him. Overall, pretty entertaining flick.
And Emma Stone is fucking hot. Can't believe you left that part out, you homo.
Oh yeah, and Sally Field is fucking hot.
Later bandit. And have fun tapping that hot hot Sally Field ass.
She was incredibly cute and fapable back in the day. She played Aunt Mae in Spidey and yeah, I know she's old but dayum, she was fugly as sin. They gave her the haven't washed or brushed my hair in 3 1/2 years look.
How this clunky load of gerbil jizz could be considered a "classic"
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
Tom Cruise looks old and greasy.
Too much running and fist fighting. Definitely too much of Cruise running. There were what, five different scenes where he's running like hell and then punching somebody? Or not dying when cars collide head on at 100 mph?
Fucking ridiculous.
The old Mission Impossible series was cool and suave. They tricked people, bamboozled them and then smirked and laughed at the end. The MI series with Cruise in the lead exchanges subtlety an subterfuge for neanderthal punching and the "serious Cruise face."
Fuck that.
This just wasn't good. Most of the action sequences were asinine and unbelievable.
Don't like Cruise, didn't like this. Hope they don't make any more.
Don't like Cruise either, and I don't know why they continue to make him run, he looks like a retard...check that I shouldn't insult the Rae-tards.
I will say this, it was better then the last one.
Real Steel
Take Rocky I. Mix in some Rocky 4. Swirl it around for a bit. Add a dash of Transformers. Let it marinate. Stir in a healthy dose of Over the Top.
Replace Stallone with Hugh Jackoff.
What you end up with is a completely unsatisfying meld of flavors that isn't nasty but doesn't bring much to the table. Every move seemed choreographed and/or stolen from another film, right down to the Rocky 1/4 mashup ending.
The movie had heart. The heart it flagrantly ripped from the chest of a series of Stallone movies.
I give if an overall P for Plagarism.
Green LanternThis movie was horrible
Shitty CGI.
Tim Robbins can suck a dinosaur cock. His politics make it hard for me to watch him in anything.
Seen 15 minutes of this movie. it's 14 too many.
Safe House
Denzel playing bad cool. Ryan Reynolds playing doe-eyed do-gooder. Horse-face Farmiga playing a phone answering spy boss (she sucks).
Not really okay with a movie that portrays a traitor to the country as the good guy and buries the evil CIA as the ultimate baddie.
Just never got completely off the ground. Wasn't a bad movie but just never soared like it could have with the cast it had in place.
Saw Fallen. Don't remember much about it.
Caught it on Netflix this past weekend.Kaos hates tomato ratings.
He plays a detective who is chasing a criminal who is a moving target - as in, a demon who keeps possessing people and committing crimes. Has a pretty good twist at the end with Sympathy For the Devil as the closing song. I thought it was pretty decent but Rotten Tomatoes didnt.
Kaos hates tomato ratings.
Caught it on Netflix this past weekend.
He plays a detective who is chasing a criminal who is a moving target - as in, a demon who keeps possessing people and committing crimes. Has a pretty good twist at the end with Sympathy For the Devil as the closing song. I thought it was pretty decent but Rotten Tomatoes didnt.
This movie was horrible
If the devil thing is Lithgow, no I didn't like that movie.
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Snoozer, Sleeper, Bored, And Die
Good lord what a dose of ambien. Told a pretty good story but told it as if a turtle was doing the telling. A slow turtle. The twists and turns of the story were shrouded in such mind numbing boredom I could give a shit who was spying on whom.
The vast majority of the movie consisted of Commissioner Gordon looking through his glasses with an owly smirk or the same Commissioner Gordon walking so slowly he looked like he was rehabbing a double hip replacement.
Seemed like there were a lot of closeted homos in there too. I took from the Iron Eyes Cody scene near the end that Colin Firth was a raging homo. And big red was apparently a fudge packer as well.
I expected to like the movie because I assumed it would be an intelligent, well spun tale of espionage that rose a level or two above Die Hard. I don't mind movies that make me think. Wish this had been one.
It seems as if in getting to that supposed higher level every drop of fun, color, excitement and suspense was leached out of it.
I've watched ants fuck and been more entertained.
I have yet to make it past 15 minutes of this movie. I have tried 3 times.
I powered through it on my fourth or fifth attempt. I went to sleep the other times and had no idea what I'd watched or hadn't watched.
The only reason I forced myself to complete it was because I was afraid I was too dumb to understand a highly intellectual movie.
I was wrong. I'm too shallow to enjoy a drab and dull affair.
I have yet to make it past 15 minutes of this movie. I have tried 3 times.
Ive done the same thing with Super 8. Big letdown.no.interest.at.all
no.interest.at.all
I watched Bernie with Jack Black on a plane yesterday. Pleasantly surprised. I found myself laughing several times at some of the one liners in the movie. Jack Black, who usually gets on my nerves, played the part really well. I would recommend for anyone that grew up in the south, or specifically a small town in the south.
Hit and Run
The trailers lie.
This isn't a dreadlocked Bradley Cooper criminal romp. He's really a minor player who is in only about 1/3 of the film and even then seems to not quite embrace the fill criminality of his character. He doesn't have as much fun as he should with it.
No this wasn't Cooper being Cooper, this was the Dax Shepard Show from start to finish. Shepard who isn't nearly as endearing or funny as he obviously thinks he is, wrote, directed, edited, sold, promoted and most likely catered the film. It's all about Dax.
The dialogue between him and his real-life girlfriend Kristen Bell (who's hot but always seemed a little off in the eyes, like she might be mildly retarded) is sort of cute, not what you'd call hilarious and takes up the majority of the movie. The thing is their back and forth banter, while cutesy and meant to show just how connected scraggly nasty ass Dax and Bell are in real life I guess, would have been just as well delivered while sitting around a campfire, lounging on the couch or sitting under a tree.
First, nobody with any sense is buying Kristen as a brilliant expert with a doctorate in conflict resolution. And Dax is so low key and flat he just drifts through the movie without ever giving his role any teeth. He's a bowl of whiny oatmeal.
Word is he tried to get this film made and released for years and was only allowed to do so because the distributors wanted to capitalize on what fleeting popularity Bell and Cooper currently have, not because the movie was any good.
Tom Arnold was in far too many scenes as a one-joke failed federal marshall. The gay cop had too many improbable scenes and really just how far does his jurisdiction extend? Speaking of odd plot contrivances how long does it take to travel 500 miles in a 700 hp car? Do you really need three days? Does it require stops at shady roadside motels? Can't you do a 500 mile haul in about six hours?
Bell isn't endearing enough to bear the weight of the movie on her tiny shoulders. If Dax was a tenth as cool as he believes himself to be he'd be a cool motherfucker. He's not. Not at all. He's a scruffy ass low-talker who brings no depth or range to his character at all. He should really never be around a movie set again in any capacity. He definitely dragged this film down.
I'm sure in his mind he thought he was creating a new Raising Arizona, a wildly fun road trip romp and a brilliant character study. Too bad the concept didn't deliver -- mainly from the tepid casting and the stupid decision to have him and his gf take the main roles.
All that in the books it wasn't bad, I didn't hate it and it had a few random moments which showed that it might have had the potential to be pretty funny in more capable hands. The movie just sort of drifted along and then it ended. It was the equivalent of a serving of tasteless cardboard.
Dax may be good in 30 second increments but he sucks at being the lead in a movie. I think that's why the trailers lied. Nobody but his mother and Bell would go the movie if they knew it was his to carry. I guess he's hoping people will go to see Cooper and Bell and be amazed at his awesomeness. He's wrong. Dax just doesn't have it.
Expect this movie to tank quickly. There were only 4 people in the room where I watched this movie. Strangely enough the movie about the kid who is also a tree was nearly full. I can't imagine anybody wanting to watch parents plant their children in a garden, but who knows.
God Bless America
You saw pretty much the entire movie in the trailer.
Other than the predictable left-wing Hollywood bias, the lead character basically summed up my entire feeling about the world we live in. He did the things I think about almost every single day.
If I knew there were no eternal retribution and I was 75% sure I could get away with it, I'd leave bodies stacked like cordwood in my wake. I'd kill hundreds a day probably. And I'd do it for pretty much the same reason Frank did.
His rant at the beginning to a co-worker and his televised rant at the end could have been lifted directly from things i think and say. I hate American Idol. I loathe the pandering we do to the lowest common denominator. I weep for a society that has created and embraced abominations like Paul Finebaum, Lex and Terry, Toddler Tiaras, Jersey Shore, Jerry Springer and all the other reality TV series that choke the airwaves. If punishment weren't an option I'd kill them all.
I really do think about 3/4 of the population of this country is too dumb to live. They're definitely too dumb to vote, too dumb to be heard, too dumb to breed.
The movie was sort of okay. It wasn't nearly the revenge fantasy it could potentially have been. The score was intriguing. The girl who played Roxy brought a marvelous sense of deranged energy to the film. She singlehandedly kept it from sinking. She was great.
Could have been better, could have been worse.
know who the director was?
Where are you on the Paranormal Activity flicks?
(http://img002.lazygirls.info/people/katie_featherston/katie_featherston_rack_ZLQyUiQ.sized.jpg)
They are terrible. I'd like to see her naked
A reason to watch part 4?
Are you saying you enjoyed it?
I watched it.
Found it formulaic, trite and predictable.
But I watched it.
The Lucky One
My man card is attached. Please let me know the length of my suspension.
(http://rlv.zcache.co.uk/official_man_card_business_card-p240382442048889736b2dq9_400.jpg)
Chronicle
What would you do if you were Superman? That's the question this teen angst movie tries to answer.
The answer is apparently act like a spoiled brat and quite possibly be gay.
Good idea but the execution faltered.
K, favorite Stephen King adapted movie?
Probably The Green Mile.
Probably The Green Mile.
The GreyBig fan of Liam Neeson, I thought it was a decent flick. I was a little pissed that he couldn't help that dude get his foot out of the rocks. Thought that was a little weak. Wasn't crazy about the ending either, but like you said...
Sometimes the setting is a character of its own. That's never more apparent than in Liam Neeson's The Grey.
The harsh and unforgiving arctic wilderness plays as much a role in this film as do any of the characters, human or lupine.
The movie is so beautifully shot that it makes you feel the cold and the pain of trying to survive in that frigid nightmare even before it becomes apparent that you've got to also deal with a stalking pack of wolves.
Good movie. Could feel the pain in your own bones. After watching it, was surprised to walk out into the bugs and steam of an October day in South Alabama. Expected to be cold.
Neeson is perfectly at home in this role, completely believable as the hard-edged old bastard who would wind up as the defacto leader of a bunch of jackholes trying to live another day.
Could have done without a few of the flashback scenes and didn't really see the need for his moment of weakness to be exposed.
And I've got to say that the ending left me just a bit displeased. But any ending would probably have left holes. I mean there's only two ways it can go, right? Wolves/environment gets him or he understands the meaning of life and gets the triumphal close. One or the other. And either (won't tell you which it was) sucks in its own way.
One last criticism? Director must be an atheist. One completely out of character moment of screaming at God and demanding a miracle was taken as proof that none exists. Pffffttttt.
frankenweenie
a must see.
Wrong.
My weenie is a must see.
Helicopter Style!
Big fan of Liam Neeson, I thought it was a decent flick. I was a little pissed that he couldn't help that dude get his foot out of the rocks. Thought that was a little weak. Wasn't crazy about the ending either, but like you said...
21 Jump Street
Liked it a lot more than I thought I would. Not exactly funny but at least clever enough to rise above what it could have been. Knew when to make fun of itself, which was good.
Better than the idiotic Starsky and Hutch spoof with Ben Stiller.
SkyfallSee and I thought the opposite. I thought Quantum of Solace was way more Bourne then Bond. To much action no story. This to me was more of a traditional Bond story with action mixed in. The old Bonds were more story and character driven then they were action films. Pierce Brosnan fucked up the franchise IMO, not him necessarily but the writers during his tenure.
Good movie. Not what I'd call a Bond movie. More Bourne than Bond.
Saw Red Dawn over the holidays. Pretty decent action flick and stayed somewhat believable. Chris Hemsworth played the Marine who was on leave from the Middle East when the city was invaded, this time by Koreans, with Russian help. Wasn't real enthused about about seeing Josh Peck, the fat ass kid from Drake and Josh, as one of the stars, but I thought he did a good job. Not a chubbo anymore and he played the high school QB and Hemsworth's brother. The movie had a lot of funny parts thrown in when what's left of them, hooks up with some ex-Marines and they kick some Korean/Russina ass. Not a bad remake IMO.
Wolverines.
Not one mention of Adrianne Palicki? You know how I know you're gay?Cause he has a bumper sticker that reads "I like it when balls hit me in the face"?
Not one mention of Adrianne Palicki? You know how I know you're gay?
Oh yeah, and there was that. This is not really a spoiler alert. They just didn't develop that like they should have. Looked like all through the flick like her and Hemsworth would do the sweaty nasty but every time you thought they would....the enemy attacks. She never got close to nekkid.
(http://www.hollywoodfamousfark.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/e320adrianne-palicki-maxim-0523-500x318.jpg)
(http://www.magxone.com/uploads/2012/05/Adrianne-Palicki-Maxim-US-5.jpg)
See and I thought the opposite. I thought Quantum of Solace was way more Bourne then Bond. To much action no story. This to me was more of a traditional Bond story with action mixed in. The old Bonds were more story and character driven then they were action films. Pierce Brosnan fucked up the franchise IMO, not him necessarily but the writers during his tenure.
Moneyball
Ok, so I know it was mostly BS. But the movie was pretty good. I hate Jonah Hill but could almost tolerate his stupid mug here because he wasn't playing an adolescent assclown.
Enjoyed the movie more than I thought I would. Even though it was mostly BS.
Saw "The Hobbit", it was good. Really good in IMAX 3D.
Came real close to when I was down at Pier Park (PCB) right before Christmas and did not. It was the only movie playing in IMAX 3D at the time.
Saw "The Hobbit", it was good. Really good in IMAX 3D.
The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and Dune are the only books I've read more than once (and I've read those books multiple times).
I was somewhat disappointed in the Hobbit. Few of the things that they added, that were different from the book, just bothered me a bit.
I wonder if they added some stuff they were saving for the special edition, to make the film longer since they decided to make it a trilogy, was part of what I disliked.
I think they added it in to tie more directly to the Lord of the Rings for the people that haven't read the books. Plus with what they had to cut out of LOTR (Glorfindel, Bombadil, etc) to fit it into three movies they decided to nut cut anything from Hobbit and that necessitated going to three movies.
I heard that Jackson is going to use The Hobbit as more of a prequel to LOTR than just an adventure story.
1st and 2nd movies will be from Bags End to Smaug. 3rd movie from Five Armies to stories from the appendices that explain how Sauron came back to power.
I know he already used some appendix stuff in the first movie.
Yeah, Azog the white goblin was only really talked about in the LOTR appendices and so far he has been the main antagonist.
Right and I'm pretty sure he died in that old dwarf battle. But Jackson needed a main villain to ride with orcs and wargs that the group encounters. I'm cool with that change.
Yeah, I get what he did there, since the first third of this trilogy doesn't really have an antagonist, he created one. And you are correct about Azog dying in the Dwarf battle in Moria. I don't have a big issue with that, either. I expect Azog to be leading the goblin army in the Battle of 5 armies, and Thorin will kill him then.
My issues with what he changed were more Bilbo related. Bilbo figuring out that if he could get the Trolls distracted, they'd turn to stone in the sun. Bilbo jumping in front of an Orc who was about to kill Thorin.
Maybe it will make sense in the 2nd movie? Thorin respects Bilbo now, as opposed to respecting him after Bilbo frees them from the Spiders and the Elves?
Have any of you seen Zero Dark Thirty?
Yes. I thought it was pretty fucking good.
Have any of you seen Zero Dark Thirty?
Post-Holiday/Flu recap:
Ted: Fucking lame. I love Wahlberg and most of McFarlane's stuff, but this was just bad. Never once uttered an honest laugh. Even tried it high...nothing.
Looper: Really liked this one. Leavitt is getting better and better (though the makeup was distracting at times) and this was an interesting take on the paradoxes of time travel. Bonus points for the creepy mutilation of the first Loop.
The Hobbit: So good. Despite the liberties taken with the book, this was a strong entry made so much better with Martin Freeman rather than that weepy fuck Elijah Wood.
Django Unchained: Loved it. Ran a bit long, but otherwise very strong work from QT (who got crazy fat all of the sudden). Christoph Waltz is a brilliant actor and should be a much bigger star. Part camp, part blood fest, part social commentary...the only thing that I could have done without was the full shot of Django's Djunk.
Killing Them Softly: Odd movie that was just not well done. I like the premise and most of the cast, but the story went nowhere and ended abruptly.
That's the third positive, personal review I've read in as many days; I've had some concerns about the artistic deviations from the book. Well, I might have to go and spend a few shekels and see this one after all.
I already know the movie without seeing it.
They are gonna walk everywhere.
I already know the movie without seeing it.(http://www.tigersx.com/images/fuckin_a.jpg)
They are gonna walk everywhere.
I haven't actually been to the movies in ages but I went to see that one recently; it was phenomenal.
(http://www.tigersx.com/images/fuckin_a.jpg)
Fuckin A
The overall movie yes was good, some of the military scenes were bogus to downright wrong.
I was actually shocked that they showed the SEALs doubletapping the already dead bodies.
I was actually shocked that they showed the SEALs doubletapping the already dead bodies.
That and unless I missed a part it look like the guys were just sitting around and she walked up and said Hey who wants to go kill Osama tonight???? Yawl busy?????
I thought entry into the choppers was funny.
Iron Man 3Agree mostly with your assessment. No way better than 1 on par with 2.
Sort of like Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and how Captain Jack had almost become a parody of himself, RDJ's Tony Stark drifted into parody area IMO. The stressors/panic attacks/freakouts seemed contrived too. Didn't see the need for that aspect of the thing at all.
Yeah, I know Jon Favreaeu directed the first two, but that dude needs a diet. Badly. He added nothing to the film and could have been cut out completely and it would have been better.
And really just too much Pepper. Don't like her character all that much and am not a fan of Gwyneth so I grew tired of her under/over/vapidly acting.
All that in the books, though, it's like somebody handing you a solid gold BMW and you decide to complain about the gas mileage.
Good popcorn, blow things up and let the good guys win in the end type film.
Have heard it hailed as "better than Avengers" but I must disagree. It was good, but not that good. Better than Thor, better than CA, better than Hulk, better than Iron Man 2 even. Didn't top the first Iron Man in my book.
There's at least one surprise that you won't see coming unless somebody tells you, but I don't think they got the mileage out of that they could have, nor was the reveal particularly eventful. Would have liked to see the big plot turn played out in a different way.
Still... Laughed some, paid attention and the kids in the audience cheered at the end. So that's all you can ask for.
Agree mostly with your assessment. No way better than 1 on par with 2.
I will say that this was more about Tony and his concept of where he fits into the world ...is he a superhero does he only fight super beings. He has to battle with his identity. Is he "Tony Stark or Iron Man?"
The anxiety attacks were important because it fits into the development of his character. He was as cocky as you could be in the 1st one and he has "evolved" throughout. The events in New York (Avengers) the fact that there were aliens and he was just a man in an iron suit, gave him a new perspective on things. He didn't know how to handle it (hence the anxiety).
Agree on the plot twist, very anticlimactic. Although a great portrayal.
This was the end of the contract for RDJ and Iron Man, he has talked about loving the character and the producer wants to bring him back for a 4 and 5, I hope they do. It has become my favorite comic franchise and RDJ is Iron Man.
As it stands now in the Marvel universe there will be a Thor 2 (2013) at the end of this year. Then Captain America 2 (2014) and Guardians of the Galaxy (2014). Avengers 2 will be in 2015 followed by Ant Man (2015). So the next earliest release of an Iron Man wouldn't be until 2016 or later.
Star Trek: Into Darkness
It was ok. Lots of nods to the original TV series.
My biggest complaint was that it just wasn't "fun" enough. It never managed to lighten up.
The beauty of Iron Man and most of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies is that Downey and Depp infuse their characters with just enough hamminess that you believe they are enjoying the role just as much as you enjoy their performing it.
Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto never reach that almost comedic sense of self awareness. The film would be so much better if they did.
Lots of over the top action. Numerous references to the old series that tied many things up. It was good but still left me wanting.
God I even forgot about his "Khaaaann!" scream. That was terribly forced.
I did like the new Khan guy though. He fit the description much better than David Bowie Labyrinth Version.
(http://www.shallownation.com/images/ricardo_montalban_star_trek_the_wrath_of_khan_1.jpg)He needed his little friend
I am forced to disagree.
The dude was 63 and in better shape than any of us.
Hangover 3 is a steaming pile of shit.Told ya, lol.
Hangover 3 is a steaming pile of shit.Worse than 1 but better than 2?
Worse than 1 but better than 2?Worse than 2 by far.
Worse than 2 by far.
Saw Great Gatsby Friday night. Mini was spending the night off and Snagette wanted to see a movie (Before hot, lovely relations) and I knew I was going to have to see a uterus flick. This movie was as big a waste of time as any I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Toby McGuire needs a big Kaos sized shovel to the face. I was fine with him as Spider Man because the character of Peter Parker called for someone who you'd least expect to a super hero. The timid, shy guy who just blends in with society and hardly anyone notices him. But apparently, this is the only character McGuire knows how to play.
McGuire was the main character in Gatsby even though he wasn't Gatsby. Throughout the entire movie, he has that look on his face like he's wondering when his next ass beating is going to happen. I was done with his character after the first 10 minutes of the movie. Overall, it just went nowhere. It was just one boring, loooonng sad attempt at a love story. And Leonardo DeCaffeinated is horrible. That is all.
You are now creeping up on "Worst Movie Ever" territory. You're in Blades of Glory land.It's King of Saturday night or Adam Sandler bad.
You are now creeping up on "Worst Movie Ever" territory. You're in Blades of Glory land.
Saw Great Gatsby Friday night.
Thats all I read and figured you were gay and had no balls.
Thats all I read and figured you were gay and had no balls.
I thought you knew.
Now You See Me
Critics didnt much like it.
I disagree.
Was entertained throughout. Liked eisenberg's smarmy delivery. Was never quite sure who was tricking whom.
Could have used a little more Isla Fischer and maybe have replaced some of the bombastic middle with additional character development. Didn't need any of the codas at the end. Pfffftttt on that.
Just a nice fluffy summer movie. Not something youd buy on DVD because you already know but would definitely watch it again to see what obvious clues I missed along the way.
I say see now you see me.
Saw it. Great example of how really good actors can't rescue a script that is too fast and loose.
The Hunger Games
First time I've seen this and never read any of the books.
If Dr. Seuss did a lot of LSD and got really mean and paranoid this would have been the result.
The movie was:
Poorly written
Poorly filmed
Poorly staged
Poorly acted
Poorly developed
Festering neon garbage.
I have no idea what possible allure this film had for anyone or why there would be any anticipation whatsoever for the followup to this electric tripe.
Jennifer Lawrence can be awesome (Winter's Bone) or she can be blank-faced and vapidly terrible (House at the End, X-Men) and here she was just plain-faced terrible.
I'm sorry I wasted time on this painted turd and I won't bother to read the books (although I'm told they're airy enough you can read all three in a matter of an hour or two).
Garbage.
The Hunger Games
First time I've seen this and never read any of the books.
If Dr. Seuss did a lot of LSD and got really mean and paranoid this would have been the result.
The movie was:
Poorly written
Poorly filmed
Poorly staged
Poorly acted
Poorly developed
Festering neon garbage.
I have no idea what possible allure this film had for anyone or why there would be any anticipation whatsoever for the followup to this electric tripe.
Jennifer Lawrence can be awesome (Winter's Bone) or she can be blank-faced and vapidly terrible (House at the End, X-Men) and here she was just plain-faced terrible.
I'm sorry I wasted time on this painted turd and I won't bother to read the books (although I'm told they're airy enough you can read all three in a matter of an hour or two).
Garbage.
Fierce CreaturesDid I time warp back to the 90's?
Man of Steel is the funniest movie I've ever seen.and you own Caddyshack 2 on DVD.
and you own Caddyshack 2 on DVD.Caddyshack 2 is a better movie than Man of Steel, not close to being funnier.
Monsters University
Imagine if they leeched all the heart and soul out of Monsters, Inc. Imagine if they drained it of the emotional connection. Imagine if they excised the action and drama. Imagine if they made Revenge of the Nerds without Booger or Takashi or Lamar or Betty. And then drop a rung or two below that.
There was no need to make this movie other than to wring cash out of the family-film crowd. It didn't have any of the qualities that made Monsters Inc. such a good movie.
I read somewhere that this film was Pixar's chance to resurrect the magic after the dreadful/awful Cars 2. Swing. Miss. No magic. It failed to connect.
I hate that because the first Monsters is one of my favorites.
World War Z
Better than I expected.
Fast zombies. Reminded me of crazy ants. Less gore than most zombie movies. Less than a typical episode of Walking Dead.
I tend to like brad Pitt in certain roles. He's good in this. Made it almost to the end without the obligatory scene of him eating or drinking something. Even that was added well and drew a laugh.
The best part of the movie experience was the chubby ginger loudmouth barely teen and his outkicked-the-coverage-so-far-he-had-to-be-rich date who was all braggart before the film started and was reduced to squeaking "holy sh!t" at various times.
I like zombie movies. This had plot gaps the size of Colorado but was still intense and engaging enough to navigate past them.
Worth seeing.
The Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger
Very problematic.
Too much Depp who was unconvincing as Tonto. Too much violence. Not enough resolution. Too little interest in the characters or their motivations. Way, way, way, way too long.
Don't remember the Lone Ranger being a befuddled do-goody buffoon.
Just took the character in a completely wrong direction, relied too much on Depp's deadpan Tonto and muddled around with the story and a completely unnecessary "my brother's wife has the hots for me" crap diversionary storyline. Stupid. The love interest angle was okay, but making her his brother's betrothed? Pffftttttt.
Fair movie but I wouldn't bother watching it again. Ever.
Katy Perry: Part of Me
Agree. Definitely not worth the watch unless you see it on the big screen IMO.
so your sayin' it's worth to pay money to see it on the big screen rather than spend a dollar on it a couple of months and watch it at home...?
Lincoln
Makes me wish the South would have won. Would have been spared this boring drivel.
When it opened with an uppity Negro soldier boasting of the prowess of the colored brigades and their essential role in the War and badgering Abe about black this and snapping that he don't shine shoes or cut hair, I knew this borefest was headed in the wrong direction.
Saint Abe, determined to save all slaves. Pffftttttt.
Boring. Historically inaccurate. Worse twisting of history than Inglorious Basterds. And boring.
Abe was a fucking war criminal. That is all.
Abe was a fucking war criminal. That is all.
Elysium is fucking awesome.
I really want to see this after having viewed District 9. I did read that Elysium is overtly political. Did you see any of that?
Oh yeah. District 9 was his apartheid movie and this is his free/equal access to health care movie.
Oh yeah. District 9 was his apartheid movie and this is his free/equal access to health care movie.
Apartheid? Man, glad to see this guy is up to date on current events. Hopefully he can generate enough interest to get Mandella released.
Olympus Has FallenI thought it was a good movie definitely worth a view.
And it can't get up.
I don't much like Gerard Butler, but here at least he wasn't required to do much acting, nor was he called on to be comedic or ham up much of any female relationship. His primary duty was to mumble silly one-liners while single-handedly slaughtering 30 or so highly trained terrorists.
It was a silly, stupid movie that had some ridiculous gaps.
The terrorists need three codes for Cerebrus to activate. Okay, the three people who know the codes are all in the bunker. So they threaten to kill each one in sequence. If you're one of three people in the world who knows a code that can prevent a national nuclear holocaust all you have to do is keep your mouth shut. So, they kill you? World is saved. Terrorist threat averted. But no, gallant president Harvey Dent orders them to give up the codes. Idiot.
Chucklehound Gerard besting half the world in hand-to-hand combat? Nah. Not happening.
But if you suspend any need for logic, rationality, plot or sense and you just enjoy watching the White House get blown to smithereens then this is an action flick for you.
Did think the method of infiltrating the White House was fairly well done.
My biggest complaint: In the situation room with God as acting President, they're trying to figure out who the person spearheading the invasion is but come up with nothing from his video images. "We're running this guy through facial recognition software but coming up with nothing. " Later when Lunkwater Butler gives them a name, suddenly there's an entire dossier on the screen - complete with pictures. Really? And that facial recognition stuff drew a blank?
My second biggest complaint: Ashley Judd is wasted in a really stupid set up sequence that added nothing to the story whatsoever.
My third biggest complaint: MSNBC talking heads in a cameo.
I thought it was a good movie definitely worth a view.
Apartheid? Man, glad to see this guy is up to date on current events. Hopefully he can generate enough interest to get Mandella released.
Do you disagree with "give them the code" ?They part was cheesy but I enjoyed the movie.
Ted
Not as horrendously awful as I expected.
Unnecessarily crude, unnecessarily vulgar, could have been much better without the senseless raunch.
Marky Mark hamming it up. Mila Kunis looking cute. Stupid bear being trashy.
But I didn't hate it.
Took Mini Snags to see R.I.P.D. last night. Ryan Reynolds plays a cop who gets killed by his partner, Kevin Bacon. In the afterlife, he's immediately transported to a police precinct where dead cops are trying to save the world from the apocalypse, which the "Deado's" are trying to make happen. Kind of a Men In Black type theme. Jeff Bridges plays Reynolds' partner in the afterlife and he makes the movie. He's an old west Sheriff, killed back in the 1800's.I definitely want to see this movie...when it hits Vudu. The old Chinese guy is the same old Chinese guy in Big Trouble in little China (1986).
None of the above is a spoiler because the trailer tells you all of this. The funny thing is that they see each other as they really are while the rest of the world sees them totally different. Bridges looks like a blonde supermodel while Reynolds is an old Chinese guy. Overall, a pretty entertaining movie. Worth a rental or something to do on a Wednesday night.
I definitely want to see this movie...when it hits Vudu. The old Chinese guy is the same old Chinese guy in Big Trouble in little China (1986).
James Hong 2013
(http://filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsH/8169-30565-0.jpg)
James Hong 1986
(http://www.wingkong.net/media/chars/lopan/lopan3.jpg)
I definitely want to see this movie...when it hits Vudu. The old Chinese guy is the same old Chinese guy in Big Trouble in little China (1986).
One Direction: This Is UsYou lost your man card when you went to see Magic Mike in theaters. Now you are just flirting with disaster.
Man card surrendered. You do what you do when you have only daughters.
Wait wait wait. Demi Lovato has done porn? Man that was a fast plummet
Pain & Gain
Like Mark Wahlberg but his range is limited. Like The Rock but his range is more limited.
This story couldn't decide whether it wanted to be a comedy, a farce, a black comedy, a morality play or something else. It ended up doing nothing very well.
It tried to make idiot, bumbling killers as the sympathetic heroes of the story while turning the "rich guys" into the villians. Didn't understand that take on it at all.
The real Daniel Lugo was dumb, cruel, sadistic and sick.
Rock played what was basically a combination of several low-level hoods and seemed there primarily to piss on the redemptive values of Christianity.
That this film elected to make them "hilarious" three stooges type characters you were supposed to (I think) root for in the end is a massive fail in my opinion.
Unbelievable that this was a (mostly) true story.
Since its Halloween saw these two recently:
Sinister - decent. Ethan Hawke is good. Somewhat complicated and doesn't quite come together until the end. Not bad not great. The Ring meets 8mm.
Paranormal Activity 4 - awful. Not scary. Worst of the bunch so far. Got bored watching it. And I thought the first three were decent.
Saw the 3rd last night. My kind of "horror" flick. Not a fan of the blood, guts, hack em' up. Love the suspense.3 was probably the best of the bunch to me. 4 will disappoint you. It is seriously boring. Except the creepy kid. That little shit just stands there and stares. F that.
Took in Last Vegas this weekend. No spoiler here in telling you it's basically another in a long line of "We've got 2 days in Vegas to cram every bit of debauchery possible in so what happens in Vegas...." Been there, done that. But, with 4 guys who have a few years of acting under their collective belts, there were some bits of comedy gold here and there. In fact, we always kid about "You owe me a monitor" on here. That was honestly the first time I actually lost it and spewed diet coke after a one line.
Overall, a pretty solid comedy. Not much of a story line, but chortles a plenty.
You just related because they were old, didn't you?
I bet they drove up the strip in their super keen sexpedition.
I drive a Nissan Crotch Grinder now. And yes, I am old.
Took in Last Vegas this weekend. No spoiler here in telling you it's basically another in a long line of "We've got 2 days in Vegas to cram every bit of debauchery possible in so what happens in Vegas...." Been there, done that. But, with 4 guys who have a few years of acting under their collective belts, there were some bits of comedy gold here and there. In fact, we always kid about "You owe me a monitor" on here. That was honestly the first time I actually lost it and spewed diet coke after a one line.
Overall, a pretty solid comedy. Not much of a story line, but chortles a plenty.
You just related because they were old, didn't you?
I bet they drove up the strip in their super keen sexpedition.
The whole thing was hard to follow and they never really fleshed out the reasons someone stole his identity. Why was someone posing as him and boinking his wife? Best I could tell, it had something to do with corn. Anyway, Neeson never turned badass and the movie just sucked scrotum. Just a bunch of German...French...hard to understand Swiss people, chasing each other around.
Did you watch it until the end? He turns into a badass for the last fight scene, which is also around the time that they fully explain why his identity was taken instead of flashing random memory sequences.
I did watch til the end and he was still getting his ass kicked until the girl saved him. And the explanation wasn't worth 2 hours of watching him play the opposite role of his character in Taken. Bad asses kick ass. Jason Statham acts a little and kicks ass the rest of the time. Stallone mumbles incoherently, then kills 127 Vietnamese with a bow and arrow. Chuck Norris would round house kick his driver's license back in his wallet.
I agree that the movie was more mystery oriented than action oriented, which may not be your thing or what you were expecting. But I still want to know how much you drank throughout the movie, because the girl (Diane Kruger) definitely didn't save him in the last fight scene when he finally recalls everything.
It was a Friday night so yes, I had partaken of the drankage. And she did save his ass. She walked in just before Neeson jabbed the shard of glass through the baddies neck. I wanted to see her tits.
Okay, I have no idea what that has to do with saving him. But I wanted to see her naughty bits.
(http://img002.lazygirls.info/people/diane_kruger/diane_kruger_diane_kruger_cleavage_ZF6mU1P.sized.jpg)
2 Guns
Wanted to see it in theaters. Didn't. Was sort of looking forward to the DVD release because I like Washington and I mostly like Marky Mark and I hoped the pairing would provide some good action flick chemistry.
It sort of did. It sort of didn't.
Absolutely ridiculous plot. Other than Denzel/Wahlberg the characters were comic book pulp, and completely overplayed.
Olmos was a caricature. Bill Paxton was a version of the same guy he played in True Lies.
Film struggled with pacing, struggled with contrived plot and utterly preposterous setups, struggled with actors not knowing what to do, struggled with continuity and just struggled overall.
It never got to the farce level that would have made the Wash/Wahl dynamic work, never devolved into gritty action because of the Wash/Wahl dynamic and ended up a completely muddled mess. It just failed to deliver in a big way.
Denzel is better than this. So is Marky.
Denzel is the man
Speaking of, have you or anyone else seen Flight?
I saw the Russian version on-line a couple of days ago.
I saw the Russian version on-line a couple of days ago.
Excellent.
Should be reviewed here already.
Excellent.
Is it on Netflix by the same name?
Madea Christmas
Don't you know Tyler Perry cringes every time he has to put on that dress and slum for money again?
Movie was about what you'd expect. Racist commentary (albeit mostly from the black characters, not the white), crass jokes, celebrating hysterical and ignorant blackness, and some digs at the dumb country crackers who live in Alabammer.
Lots of people/things you've seen before including an awful-looking Alicia Witt, the 'hide yo kids' guy, an ad for Prilosec, Blair from Facts of Life, and ain't nobody got time for that.
Perry sleepwalks through it and looks bored and lazy. There are a few good moments including his retelling of the birth of Jesus. Sacrilegious, but mildly amusing.
The rest was either overacted badly, clumsily done or trite.
It's also staggeringly stupid. In what world does the mayor hire and fire teachers, particularly when there is apparently only one teacher (and one black person) in the entire town? Where in Alabama do rednecks fight over who gets to plant corn? Or have "porn setter" farms? Where in this state do robed Klansmen meet in the middle of town?
A real waste of time that didn't have an impactful ending despite the setup to do so.
The fact you spent money to see this has me :facepalm:
The fact you spent money to see this has me :facepalm:
That my best friend is a girl.
Huh? And apparently this isn't your wife??
I'm so confused right now...
Kaos have you watched the Conjuring? One of the best horror movies I've seen in a long time.
Have I mentioned that I have girls? That my best friend is a girl. And that her children are both girls?
This movie choice was the culmination of this conversation:
Lets go to a movie.
Ok. What about wolves of Wall Street?
Sounds boring and it's three hours long?
American Hustle?
That's politics isn't it? Kids will be bored.
Grudge Match?
Might have been funny in 1980 but it's two old guys.
Hunger Games? Frozen?
Some of us have seen those movies.
Dino walking?
Really? That movie sucks.
Hobbit?
Ewwww no!
Ronin?
Who?
Mr. Banks?
I hate Mary poppins.
Mitty?
What? Who? I hate Ben stiller.
What about madea?
Ehhh. Sure. Ok.
The Call
Oh how good this could have been.
The drama of a 911 operator working a kidnapped teen through the machinations of discovery and escape could have been fraught with tension and intensity. That part of the film was well done.
Sadly this film lost its way. This is how:
1. Silly diversion with "yo baby girl" cop.
2. Insanely over the top characterization of the big bad
3. Hallie Berry's awful hair.
4. The slutty friend that was meaningless. Why introduce a character that has no part in the events or resolution?
5. The waste of Christopher moltisanti. Apparently parts have been hard to come by for Chrissy in the aftermath of The Sopranos. His role could have been played by a stuffed animal, guy fieri or squeaky fromme. It was a serious squanderance of the illusion of talent/star power. His role was "guy in car"
6. The end. What a load of crap. Of all the ways to end the movie that was the worst the writers could have devised. So many problems with it there's no need to list them. It was, in a word, stupid. And it destroyed any goodwill the previous hour and a half may have created.
Before the last 15 minutes I would have given it a B. But those last 15 pushed it down to a hard D.
Overall, worth the price of the ticket to me.
Anchorman 2 probably reviewed pages ago but if so, missed it. Simply put...laughed my ass off for 2/3 or 57% of it. Asked myself WTF was that for about 23% of the movie. The remaining 33% was just jump the shark (literally), do NOT make an Anchorman 3, stupid. Some really funny bits in it and a ton a holy-crap-did-he-just-say-that racial humor. Left there feeling like this was everything Will Ferrell has ever done, combined into one movie and taken to the extreme. Some incredibly funny and incredibly face-palm moments. Overall, worth the price of the ticket to me.
Everybody needs to see it.
Lone Survivor
This movie hurt my soul.
It's so much better than I hoped it might be. Having watched Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle and this film all within the last week or so, it disturbs me that Bale and Leo and their films are piling up on the award circuit while this movie is being ignored.
Marky is outstanding. Foster is tremendous. Hirsch is very good. Even Taylor kitsch -- who is clearly a terrible actor -- does well here.
The movie's gritty realism makes you feel every bit of the pain endured by the men on this mission. Their desperation becomes yours.
The theater sold out -- on a Saturday afternoon -- and I joked before it started that it was unusual to be one of the youngest in the audience. There were a lot of veterans in the mix too. During the end credits you could hear a lot of sniffling and crying.
Powerful movie. Powerful message. Well acted. Well shot.
Everybody needs to see it.
and snorted blow out of each other's anus cavities, Hollywood and OSCAR would take notice.
How else are you supposed to do blow?
Through the pee hole.I prefer the anus.
I prefer the anus.
Sometimes I pee out of my butt.
Hellraiser VII: Deader
Kari Wurher is still hot. Movie sucks.
Lone Survivor
This movie hurt my soul.
It's so much better than I hoped it might be. Having watched Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle and this film all within the last week or so, it disturbs me that Bale and Leo and their films are piling up on the award circuit while this movie is being ignored.
Marky is outstanding. Foster is tremendous. Hirsch is very good. Even Taylor kitsch -- who is clearly a terrible actor -- does well here.
The movie's gritty realism makes you feel every bit of the pain endured by the men on this mission. Their desperation becomes yours.
The theater sold out -- on a Saturday afternoon -- and I joked before it started that it was unusual to be one of the youngest in the audience. There were a lot of veterans in the mix too. During the end credits you could hear a lot of sniffling and crying.
Powerful movie. Powerful message. Well acted. Well shot.
Everybody needs to see it.
Even after she shrunk her boobies?
A Clockwork Orange
My beezerbupas skeezersad this movie was a classominco. Sezam I eysaballes it for 30 snipersnaps of its three hour geltaflam.
This bing the cassie, my brothers, I toronadoed the pipslot and feeblegarbed on my merry way.
Translation: Heard this movie was a classic. I made it through 30 minutes of the three-hour thing. Then I turned it off and vowed never to watch it a single second of it again and to roundly mock anyone who proclaims to find any value in this Dr. Seuss nightmare.
What a load of garbage.
A Clockwork Orange
My beezerbupas skeezersad this movie was a classominco. Sezam I eysaballes it for 30 snipersnaps of its three hour geltaflam.
This bing the cassie, my brothers, I toronadoed the pipslot and feeblegarbed on my merry way.
Translation: Heard this movie was a classic. I made it through 30 minutes of the three-hour thing. Then I turned it off and vowed never to watch it a single second of it again and to roundly mock anyone who proclaims to find any value in this Dr. Seuss nightmare.
What a load of garbage.
Still better than Wolf of Wall Street. Scorsese is the KMart of art house douchebaggery filmmaking.
Same here. Just sat and tried to remember the faces of those that died.
Several years ago, a kid in his 20's was living down the street. he had just gotten out of the Army (ranger). He claimed he was supposed to have been in the heli that went down. But he was home getting his ear operated on(burst in an explosion). I'm not sure if he was telling the truth or not, but he re-enlisted within the year. But i didnot put the two events together until this movie.
I truly give Mrs. Dallas kudos for the times I was gone. She would be very happy when I came back (after a shower).Maybe while you were deployed in the Army, Buzz was on shore leave, motorboating like an old sailor
Too many Disney movies and too much boy band music has warped your sensibilities.
A Clockwork Orange
My beezerbupas skeezersad this movie was a classominco. Sezam I eysaballes it for 30 snipersnaps of its three hour geltaflam.
This bing the cassie, my brothers, I toronadoed the pipslot and feeblegarbed on my merry way.
Translation: Heard this movie was a classic. I made it through 30 minutes of the three-hour thing. Then I turned it off and vowed never to watch it a single second of it again and to roundly mock anyone who proclaims to find any value in this Dr. Seuss nightmare.
What a load of garbage.
violence for violence sake.
You completely missed the point.
You completely missed the point.
I understood the point of which is better, to be violent and evil with free will or be peaceful and good but have your will taken away, but it was still over the top violent. It started getting cartoonish.
That's still a pretty distilled take on the themes of the book. Looming large in the story are the implications of governmental participation in therapy (setting goals/desired outcomes).
Regardless of the "meaning" it would have been a story better told without the Dr. Seuss nonsense gibberish. It might possibly have been effective then even if the performances were so absolutely ridiculously cartoonish.
Diff'rent strokes. It ranks among Kubrick's greatest for a reason.
Ranked by those loons that spew that global climate change garbage.
Diff'rent strokes. It ranks among Kubrick's greatest for a reason.
Kubrick was a weirdo. Most of his movies suck anyway.
Cementing your heretofore established credentials as having incredibly awful taste.
Wow...been reading the bottomfeeder primer, have ya?
Claiming any of his crap is worth watching is the cinematic equivalent of The Emperor's New Clothes.
That's, like, your opinion, man.
In this case, as in so many of your art-related opinions, you're just dead fucking wrong.
That's, like, your opinion, man.
In this case, as in so many of your art-related opinions, you're just dead fudgeing wrong.
Wow...been reading the bottomfeeder primer, have ya?hes not the king of extreme hyperbole for nothing my man.
Last night "Robin Hood Men In Tights" was on TV, I saw it in the theater when it released originally. God is it stupid, but if I fail to laugh at a blind man falling from a tree then just shoot me, because I have lived too long.
Bad Grandpa
What in the roasting carnivorous hell was Johnny Knoxville trying to do here? Improbably set up gags, Borat style "did he really just say/do that" audience reactions all mixed in with a half ass effort to tell a story that's been told a hundred times before. Circumstances match up two dissimilar people and they find love along the way. Yawn.
I was a little disturbed by the scenes of the kid drinking beer. Not necessary. And considering the way over the top antics of Knoxville the audience reactions were really really tame. In one sequence he supposedly sprayed his own feces on the wall of a restaurant as the result of a farting contest gone bad. None of the other patrons of the restaurant got up to leave or did much more than shake their head in amusement. They kept right on eating. Somebody fires off a shower of dung a booth away from me and I'm coming unhinged. I won't be laughing politely and returning to my Reuben. I'm having a shit fit of my own.
I expected the sort of balls out lunacy that used to make me laugh at Jackass. Instead I got the worst of the "Johnny Knoxville makes somebody uncomfortable" skits with a kid thrown in.
JKnox does have the old man strut down pat though. There were times I could almost forget that he wasn't an 80 year old man.
Robocop (2014)
If 1987's Robocop was a satire of 80's excess, this version serves more as a dark, political paranoia statement.
Plenty of violence and gunplay are well mixed with the Alex Murphy story and the corporation that built him for little more than a marketing ploy to loosen U.S. Misgivings about automated patrol robots roaming the streets.
Joel Kinnaman is well suited as Murphy/Robocop and flanked by a solid supporting cast of Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Keaton, Jackie Earl Haley, and Gary Oldman, the story unfolds at a brisk but followable pace.
Set aside what you love about that original and a good time can be herby this admirable remake.
But like I asked before, does a bad guy get drenched in toxic waste and run over by a car? Because I'm not going unless that happens.
If you go again expecting them to recreate the 1987 experience, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
But if you go in expecting them to do a real remake - take the original, update it, sprinkle in new or different subtext - then you will enjoy.
Pompeii
Eh.
I wanted to see some reviews before plunking down the cash to see this one. Regardless of the actors, I'm always wary of any movie that takes place almost exclusively on a plane, bus, train etc.
Does it have snakes on it?
Non Stop
Please stop.
Ok, so you were never really sure who the bad guys were. Unfortunately I didn't care at all.
Liam again gets a pass because he has an accent. And weird looking ears. All in all a generally silly movie with cartoon/cliched characters and silly sub plots. Featured a lot of people behaving in ways that defied any semblance of logic.
The worst was the "we're going to kill you, but oh you made an impassioned speech about your daughter so here's your gun back and let's rally on three" scene that was just stupid.
Escape Plan
How old are these guys anyway?
Fair movie, but a condemnation of the current generation of "action" stars (of which there are none). Stallone, Schwartz, Willis, Ford and even Gibson are a dying breed. There is no new crop to take their place and fill the screen with mayhem.
Seriously who's out there? Thor? The Rock? Renner (who's 5-4)? Cruise (who's nearing 60)? Action heroes now have to show a softer side. Go look up lists of action star possibilities. You get names like Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe, Zachary "Spock" Quinto, Jason "Drago" Momoa (not generic enough), the pencil-thin Spiderman geek, vapid Channing Tatum, mumbling Tom Hardy, and guarantee-a-movie-bomb Taylor Kitsch. The best choices are Matt Damon who has much more range and Mark Wahlberg, who I usually like but who also lacks that "it" factor that true action stars have. He's close to a wise-cracking Willis and could probably fit into the Die Hard franchise. But still. It's a weak, wussified crew.
So these older guys keep on trying. This would have been a much better movie when Stallone and Arnie were in their 30s or 40s. It looks a little uneven now that they're 90.
I did like the location of the prison, but found the "make a diversion" escape plot to be really stupid. Also hated the prison warden creeper.
Escape Plan
How old are these guys anyway?
Fair movie, but a condemnation of the current generation of "action" stars (of which there are none). Stallone, Schwartz, Willis, Ford and even Gibson are a dying breed. There is no new crop to take their place and fill the screen with mayhem.
Seriously who's out there? Thor? The Rock? Renner (who's 5-4)? Cruise (who's nearing 60)? Action heroes now have to show a softer side. Go look up lists of action star possibilities. You get names like Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe, Zachary "Spock" Quinto, Jason "Drago" Momoa (not generic enough), the pencil-thin Spiderman geek, vapid Channing Tatum, mumbling Tom Hardy, and guarantee-a-movie-bomb Taylor Kitsch. The best choices are Matt Damon who has much more range and Mark Wahlberg, who I usually like but who also lacks that "it" factor that true action stars have. He's close to a wise-cracking Willis and could probably fit into the Die Hard franchise. But still. It's a weak, wussified crew.
So these older guys keep on trying. This would have been a much better movie when Stallone and Arnie were in their 30s or 40s. It looks a little uneven now that they're 90.
I did like the location of the prison, but found the "make a diversion" escape plot to be really stupid. Also hated the prison warden creeper.
Escape PlanStatham... Although lately all of his movies seem to be the same.
How old are these guys anyway?
Fair movie, but a condemnation of the current generation of "action" stars (of which there are none). Stallone, Schwartz, Willis, Ford and even Gibson are a dying breed. There is no new crop to take their place and fill the screen with mayhem.
Seriously who's out there? Thor? The Rock? Renner (who's 5-4)? Cruise (who's nearing 60)? Action heroes now have to show a softer side. Go look up lists of action star possibilities. You get names like Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe, Zachary "Spock" Quinto, Jason "Drago" Momoa (not generic enough), the pencil-thin Spiderman geek, vapid Channing Tatum, mumbling Tom Hardy, and guarantee-a-movie-bomb Taylor Kitsch. The best choices are Matt Damon who has much more range and Mark Wahlberg, who I usually like but who also lacks that "it" factor that true action stars have. He's close to a wise-cracking Willis and could probably fit into the Die Hard franchise. But still. It's a weak, wussified crew.
So these older guys keep on trying. This would have been a much better movie when Stallone and Arnie were in their 30s or 40s. It looks a little uneven now that they're 90.
I did like the location of the prison, but found the "make a diversion" escape plot to be really stupid. Also hated the prison warden creeper.
Statham... Although lately all of his movies seem to be the same.
He's in the mix, but he's pretty terrible.He gets a lifetime pass in my eyes due to Snatch.
He's almost 50, has no range at all. All his movies pretty much are the same. Plus I can't understand a word he says most of the time. I have to turn captions on to figure it out.
The Mechanic was barely watchable.
Killer Elite was a good idea but he dudded it up.
Death Race? Bank Job?
He was okay in Italian Job because he didn't have to carry the film.
Even Crank was a terrible movie. Except it had this going for it:
(http://bilder.poster.net/LRG/59/5932/WZ4RG00Z.jpg)
Like her a lot for reasons I'd rather not say.
Captain America The Winter Soldier
Better than the first Captain America. Better than both Thor films. Still not all that great. Evans is fine in the role and Redford must have wanted to do something for the grandkids, but this movie is mostly a tease of "what's to come" and therefore it fails to make any lasting points. At this stage, the Avengers universe has so many interconnected parts, it is hard for any film to just stand on singular merit.
The collateral damage in superhero movies (and some others like the most recent Star Trek) really takes away the enjoyability of the ending.
Like in The Avengers. Gigantic flying eels with insect-space ships that swarm and destroy just leveled half of the city. The Avengers in order to take the bad guys down have to also destroy half of the city. And at the end, it's a bunch of kids celebrating and adults singing songs and reporters treating it like New Year's Eve.
Or in Star Trek. A starship crashes into San Francisco and levels a huge chunk of the city. MILLIONS of people would have died. Countless injured. Infrastructure crumbled. A decade to rebuild and most likely widespread fear and panic of the starships in orbit capable of doing that or more if a bad terrorist gets the helm.
Or like you mentioned in Man of Steel. Skyscrapers being reduced to rubble. It's like 9/11 happen 15 times in one day except it's not Muslims hijacking planes you have to worry about. It's a demi-god guy who can fly having to fight off other alien beings that are just as strong as he is.
Cap'n America: Winter Solider
and
Superman: Man of Steel
(Six is completely wrong and needs to get his own thread.)
A disaster analyst has pegged the damage done to Metropolis during the climactic battle between Superman, General Zod and his forces in Man of Steel at $700 billion–that’s five times what The Avengers would have cost New York, or roughly fifteen times the cost of the damage done in the real-life September 11 terror attacks on the city. They also guess that the financial fallout from the attack would ultimately end up costing $2 trillion.It's Obama's plan for job creation.
(http://d1mxyp5ceukbya.cloudfront.net/images/man-of-steel-destruction-cost-metropolis-buzzfeed.jpg)
Ridiculous. I knew it was excessive and I seriously got tired of watching glass shatter and skyscrapers crumble.
Brick Mansions. Quite possibly the cheesiest, worst made action flick in the history of man. I have a feeling after Paul Walker died, they had to tear 25 Vin Diesel posters off his wall. Fuck sake this was bad.You see dead people.
Brick Mansions. Quite possibly the cheesiest, worst made action flick in the history of man.
Transcendence was directed by Willy Pfister, and this was his debut as a director. He worked as a cinematographer for Nolan for multiple movies, but on this one, Nolan only served as a producer.
The previews for the movie made me think of a combination of Lawnmower Man, The Matrix, and Surrogate.
Transcendence
I've walked out of a theater 3 times in my life.
#1. 8MM - This is where I gave up on Nicholas Cage for good.
#2. Halloween II (Rob Zombie version) - thanks for ruining your good ideas yourself, Rob.
#3. Neighbors - got through 33 minutes of this crap and turned the other way. Never again, Seth Rogan. Never.
You clearly need to get out more. Walking out of Neighbors was a mistake.
I get out plenty. That movie is a piece of crap to me. Not worth the time. Glad I only lost matinee price on it.
How do you know? You didn't bother to watch it.
I watched enough to know it wasn't worth finishing. If I get a burned steak, I don't have to swallow every bite to know it's not worth eating. Same with that movie. And I am entitled to my opinion about it. Enjoy dissension in the discourse, man.
Unimaginable to be sitting by the pool one minute and then separated by roaring floodwaters the next second. Kids, wives, all just washed away. Trying to sort through hundreds of thousands of screaming, injured, dead and dying to find somebody you lost -- and maybe never finding them.
I have imagined this and it was good.
I'm pretending I'm Asian and imagining it now.
(http://www.snappcambodia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/happy-man.jpg)
Django Unchained:Take two ept's and if they are both positive, go see your obgyn.
I know I'm late
Django Unchained:
I know I'm late on this one. I'm usually late on all movies and TV shows actually.
Not only are you late, but you are wrong. Already reviewed:
Django Unchained
I like Quentin. Kill Bill (I and II), Res Dogs, From Dusk Til Dawn, and Pulp Fiction are among some of my favorite watch over and over again movies. Great stuff.
I wasn't a fan of Grindhouse and I thought Inglorious was so bad that he'd lost his storytelling touch. For that reason I stayed away from Django for a long, long time. I didn't want to see him spiral any further down.
My mistake.
Great movie. Enjoyed pretty near all of it. Don't get what the uproar was over the use of the carbon word. It was appropriate for the times and used as conversationally as I remember it being used when I was a child (pre-Civil Rights movement).
The raiding party scene with Don Johnson was quality stuff and by itself enough to recommend this movie.
I just wish I'd seen it sooner.
Argo
Uuhhhh...what the fudge?
This movie won Best Picture? 96% on Rotten Tomatoes?
There's too much to criticize. It wasn't a terrible movie. Wasn't really bad at all. But going into it, I was really excited to see a movie so lauded amongst its peers.
But the suspense died when you already know they'll escape. The process of setting up the fake movie was rushed. Affleck was a really humdrum character with zero development. The only attempt at any character development at all was the dweeby looking guy with the hot wife who doubted Affleck would save them. Then he had the obligatory "Sorry. You were right all along" moment at the end.
The best part of the movie were the real news clips. That was interesting. Getting a glimpse of how the Iranians acted in their own country was interesting.
The plot was too easy and not worth the accolades it received.
In case you were unaware, the "plot" was reality. That's what happened. To complain that it was too easy is like watching a replay of the 2013 Auburn-Georgia game and being aggravated with the fact that Auburn threw a long pass at the end and didn't dramatically drive the field.
Devil's Due
Better than Occulus, but so is being stabbed in the eye with a gangrenous toenail.
Jerky camera and who films all that stuff anyway? Story was weak, too many questions were left unanswered and it just didn't work.
Only scares came from a loudly barking dog.
The Amazing Spiderman 2So tired of the Spidey reboot. not.even.interested.
Had plans to take mini to see Gozeera last night but couldn't make the start times work out. Spidey 2 was really the only one we could fit in and we joined 6 other people in the theater on a rainy Thursday night. In fact, there were very few peeps at any of the flicks.
Not a bad remake with a few different twists and turns. Same story with a couple of new characters like Jamie Foxx, who played "Electro". And they played it a little different as to how Harry Osborne became the Green Goblin; however, they didn't call him that and he really didn't turn bad until the very end. Of course, they left it wide open for the series to continue with a whole cast of new villains.
It did have a little something at the end that made you go, "Whoa, didn't see that coming." The real spidey action is at the very beginning and the very end. The majority of the movie is mostly story lines and set up. Andrew Garfield does a decent job as Peter Parker IMO. A good bit more diverse than Toby Maguire. But then, I have a Pekingese puppy that's more diverse than Toby Maguire. Overall, nothing special but pretty enjoyable for a middle of the week flick.
So tired of the Spidey reboot. not.even.interested.
Oblivionx100 at least the latest groundhog day one has Emily Blunt in it
I'd like to punch Tom Cruise into oblivion.
This movie is essentially unwatchable. It's like EVERY Cruise movie lately. He makes the serious face. He makes the heroic face. He runs. Something explodes. He wears some goofy outfit. The world, the planet, the city, something is in danger. Pfffffftttt.
It's plug and play and they all, all, all suck.
Reacher
Mission Impossible II, III
Minority Report
War of the Worlds
All pretty much the same crappy movie.
Oblivion may be -- ah, hell, it is -- the worst of that sorry lot. He's terrible in it and it's terrible on its own. The sheer duddage of this movie doomed his current release, Edge of Tomorrow, which I absolutely refuse to see.
He's done a good film or two, but not many.
I won't bother discussing the barely coherent plot of this stinking load of Scientological excrement. Mainly because I quit on this turkey about an hour in. Unwatchable.
Cruise needs to retire.
Jonah Hill.
funny from start to finish
Best comedy I've seen in a long time.
Really really good.
Just watched the new Transformers movie and my son and I both agree this might actually be the best one yet as far as the special effects and action goes. It is a typical Michael Bay film with no solid storyline and plot holes, but then again, one does not go see a Michael Bay film for Oscar winning story telling. I go to see action, explosions, special effects, and more action. The 3D is actually pretty good and worth the extra $$$ for the ticket price. I usually check out the 3D reviews before I go see a movie in that format, as many are just not that good, and the good 3D reviews for this one did not let me down. Probably the best movie I have seen in 3D in a couple of years.
FYI...my theater showed a few of the trailers for upcoming movies in 3D; Guardians of the Galaxy and Hercules had good looking 3D, Planet of the Apes not so much.
3D is gay.
Jersey Boys
Clint Eastwood behind the camera. Great music. Highly successful Broadway play as the base. How could you possibly go wrong?
1) The actor playing Frankie Valli had absolutely no charisma whatsoever. Maybe he was great on Broadway but it didn't translate to the screen.
2) The occasional "turn and talk to the camera" moments were offputting and distracting.
3) There were no real dramatic events to move the narrative (or if there were, they were handled poorly).
4) The actor playing Frankie Valli was annoying as @($# trying to mimic Frankie's vocals -- and he did it really poorly. Would have been better to have them lip sync and use the real vocals. Instead it came off like a really bad cover band.
5) The Partridge Family pretended to play instruments with more believability than the clowns in this movie.
6) The age progression was horrible. Was supposed to cover a span of a number of years but the people didn't change (other than the random hairstyle). When they did change -- the closing RIDICULOUS Hall of Fame ceremony that was some 30 years forward from the last random moment -- the makeup was abysmal. Some of the worst aging I've ever seen on film. It was so bad it was silly.
7) There were no real redeeming qualities to any of the film's characters. The guido who works for Pesci was grating. So too was the chowderhead who sang bass.
8) Eastwood's direction was sketchy at best. There were some really bad CGI scenes when they were driving and it sort of bounced around telling the most boring story imaginable. Maybe in hands better suited to the material this could have been good, but it was slow and boring for the most part. The story simply wasn't compelling and Eastwood's direction did nothing to help that.
9) Topics were opened and then never explored. Rabbit trails were everywhere.
10) Even the "did he really put that in there" cameo was a waste.
I've seen musicals adapted for the screen that were moving and beautifully done (Phantom of the Opera comes to mind). This wasn't one of those.
Haven't seen any other reviews, but the lead was so horrifically bad I can't imagine they'll be good.
Couple of other things:
A) There were moments (many) where I desperately wished for a Transformer or Godzilla or Iron Man to burst through a wall and destroy the entire set.
B) The movie was terribly bad at explaining situations or giving you reasons to care about anyone. Frankie has children, he sings once to one, his drunken wife kicks him out, his daughter becomes a plot device later when he's going to help her be a singer (no prior discussion of her being able to sing) and then she ODs. Only a superfluous treatment as a way to move Frankie's music ahead. Stupendously bad.
C) Film was executive produced by Valli which probably explains why his story was treated so favorably in the movie. It glossed over some pretty significant character flaws and ignored his history of domestic abuse. People dropped in and out of the narrative with little to no exposition other than to give Frankie an opportunity to make a stupid face, say something goofy in a clichéd Jersey accent and then vanish. The lead in this movie was possibly the worse casting choice I've seen in a film in years. Zero screen presence.
D) Christopher Walken. The guy did more acting with a watering eyeball or a twitch of a finger than the rest of the cast combined provided through the entire film. His performance was lazy and half-assed but it was still so much better than anything else the movie had to offer that it made the remaining cast look like overcooked spaghetti in comparison.
E) The insulting Jersey stereotypes were pretty bad as well. It was like an episode of Jersey Shore where Pauly dressed up in a velvet suit.
Usually I look back on a movie a few days after and my initial reaction mellows. In this case, it's even worse in retrospect than it was while I was sitting through it. Maybe the stage play is better.
Shut your whore mouth! David Cassidy rocks! I would bend Shirley Jones over the kitchen table now. ( sorry still emotional over Lutzy.)
Flight
The trailers made it out to be something it wasn't. The film was about a crash, yes, but not a plane crash.
The plane crash was in a way allegorical, although it did happen. It was symbolic of the personal and professional crash of the pilot played by Denzel.
He was a hero, but he was not. It was difficult to decide whether the daring act that allegedly saved lives was worth overlooking the personal flaws that he overcame to perform it.
He lay with women of various ethnicities including Dr. Watson's wife. Sherlock will probably punish him for that.
He convincingly played the same people I've known all my life from my uncles to my former business partner to my friends who all loudly proclaimed they were in control, it was their choice when in fact they were not and it hadn't been for a long time. The wreckage he left behind is also familiar.
Not all of those end up with the tidy resolution this one does, sadly most of those end in personal disaster.
A pretty depressing film all in all.
But as with most of Denzel's fare, worth watching for his efforts.
Tammy
I keep reading about what a great comedic talent Melissa McBuffalo is. So when friends wanted to see this movie I grudgingly agreed.
What talent? She does the same things every single time.
She runs. But she's fat and slow so she's easily caught.
She dances awkwardly.
She bellows classic songs and beats on the dashboard while she drives.
She makes uncomfortable advances on a man who would never in real life be interested in her and somehow he sees through the layers of blubber and sheaths of crass behavior to recognize she's really a beautiful and tender soul.
She brays.
She whines.
She "transforms" from a slovenly hippo into a "beautiful and sexy" vision by putting on a little makeup, combing her hair and wearing an enormous dress.
There was not one single new or original note in this disaster of a film where the few potentially good parts are telegraphed in the trailers.
She's not funny. She's not brilliant. She's not the female John Belushi or John Candy. She's an obnoxious whale who gets a lot of latitude just because she's horrifyingly obese. She didn't deserve the Oscar nomination for Bridesmaids. She doesn't deserve the box office she generates. She's a one-trick sad wad of flab. I hope this is the last time we have to see her lazily slob through a movie. Any legit actor/comedian put out something this crappy -- unless his name is Adam Sandler who does the same no effort thing -- and he/she would see their career go down in flames. The ONLY reason she isn't savaged for her crapph films is because skinny guilt prevents people from telling the truth. She's a hack.
Should have read what I posted above and saved yourself from misery. We walked out of the theater halfway through. It sucked bad!
I did. Thought of that while I was watching it. Tried to figure out at what point you'd had enough.
It was at the point that they blew up the RV and went to the lesbian party. When she started flirting with the guy again I was done.
Her entire performance—if you can call it that—consists of being slapped, slugged, dumped in various lakes and rivers, and bounced off walls and pavements like a big rubber Shmoo doll. She isn’t smart, imaginative or creative enough to be a real female clown, like Lucille Ball. Nothing that resembles a fresh approach to slapstick farce ever engages the mind or the eye. Instead she recycles every fatso cliché from John Candy to Totie Fields, which only turns the viewer cynical.
Townhall needs a thread called 'movies nobody ever knew existed and where the fuck would you possibly find them' but I digress.
Damnit. I post my own movie reviews in my own threads and you tell me to put them here. I put them here and you say start another thread. What is it that you want, man? What is it?
I don't think you are posting about movies. That be the point of my snark. These are dreams or something. Never heard of these things.
Then I search the title on Reddit to see if it's been discussed thoroughly and then I watch it.
The Purge: Anarchy
How many ways can you screw up a movie? However many ways there are, this pile of crap tried to hit every one of them.
I've seen it hailed as a step in a new direction, better than the original, a deeper examination of the concepts behind the purge rather than a random celebration of its violence.
Pffffttttt. Hell with that. Here's your "deeper meaning": Rich people bad. Poor people good. Thanks Obama.
This was one of the worst movies I've seen in a while.
For one thing it tried to tell way too many stories. There were about five things going on at the same time and none were fleshed out enough. The narrative had little cohesiveness. If it had taken any one of the multiple storylines and focused solely on that, it might have had potential. Instead it was a screwed up mess of misguided motivation, bumbled storytelling and flat emotions. Did not give one half of one shit about any of the characters. They all should have died.
Speaking of characters, Kylie Sanchez was one of the leads and she exhibited every bit of the blank-eyed, no-talent, pinch-faced piss poor acting she displayed on the cancelled USA series The Glades. Her performance was so bad she was the primary reason the thing was booted off the air. She was hated.
The rest of the characters, including a completely wasted Chalky White, were so fraudulent that they should have been murdered as part of the story.
it was really bad. I hope this ends the series, but since the theater I saw it in was full I fully expect a Purge 3 coming soon.
The Purge: Anarchy
How many ways can you screw up a movie? However many ways there are, this pile of crap tried to hit every one of them.
I've seen it hailed as a step in a new direction, better than the original, a deeper examination of the concepts behind the purge rather than a random celebration of its violence.
Pffffttttt. Hell with that. Here's your "deeper meaning": Rich people bad. Poor people good. Thanks Obama.
This was one of the worst movies I've seen in a while.
For one thing it tried to tell way too many stories. There were about five things going on at the same time and none were fleshed out enough. The narrative had little cohesiveness. If it had taken any one of the multiple storylines and focused solely on that, it might have had potential. Instead it was a screwed up mess of misguided motivation, bumbled storytelling and flat emotions. Did not give one half of one shit about any of the characters. They all should have died.
Speaking of characters, Kylie Sanchez was one of the leads and she exhibited every bit of the blank-eyed, no-talent, pinch-faced piss poor acting she displayed on the cancelled USA series The Glades. Her performance was so bad she was the primary reason the thing was booted off the air. She was hated.
The rest of the characters, including a completely wasted Chalky White, were so fraudulent that they should have been murdered as part of the story.
it was really bad. I hope this ends the series, but since the theater I saw it in was full I fully expect a Purge 3 coming soon.
The World's End
There is an endearing quality about Simon Pegg. You can't help but like his muddle brained loser Gary King and hope that he not only finds the meaning of life but manages to finish his pub crawl quest in this uneven comedy. Unfortunately a town full of robots -- well they're not exactly robots and we could debate what they are to the end of time -- stand in the way of completing both journeys.
It's an unusual film. I like British comedy and this is basic Brit. It relied on interplay between the characters for its humor and did so fairly well. It wasn't vulgar or excessive like American comedy has become and you had to pay attention to catch some of the cleverness that brought the funniest moments.
Compared to what passes for humor now in American movies (Tammy, anything from Ben stiller or ferrel or jim Carey) and this comes off as utter brilliance. It had a few cleverly funny moments, a zany premise, a solid cast and the winsome presence of Pegg.
Not for everybody but I enjoyed it.
I'll watch just about anything with Pegg. The "Cornetto Trilogy" (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World's End) are a great slice of Brit humor.I like Pegg and Steve Coogan almost as much.
Guardians of the Galaxy
I'll watch just about anything with Pegg. The "Cornetto Trilogy" (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World's End) are a great slice of Brit humor.Troof
The World's End
There is an endearing quality about Simon Pegg. You can't help but like his muddle brained loser Gary King and hope that he not only finds the meaning of life but manages to finish his pub crawl quest in this uneven comedy. Unfortunately a town full of robots -- well they're not exactly robots and we could debate what they are to the end of time -- stand in the way of completing both journeys.
It's an unusual film. I like British comedy and this is basic Brit. It relied on interplay between the characters for its humor and did so fairly well. It wasn't vulgar or excessive like American comedy has become and you had to pay attention to catch some of the cleverness that brought the funniest moments.
Compared to what passes for humor now in American movies (Tammy, anything from Ben stiller or ferrel or jim Carey) and this comes off as utter brilliance. It had a few cleverly funny moments, a zany premise, a solid cast and the winsome presence of Pegg.
Not for everybody but I enjoyed it.
With the exception of Spider-Man, which the studio just can't seem to make anything decent out of, Marvel's superhero treatment is typically on point.
Guardians of the Galaxy
The leadership at Marvel clearly knows how to craft a superhero movie. Iron Man, Avengers and even Thor, CA all understand the proper mix of humor, action, seriousness and camp. With the exception of Spider-Man, which the studio just can't seem to make anything decent out of, Marvel's superhero treatment is typically on point.
Add Guardians to Marvel's long list of solid hits. In some ways it may be the best of all.
The only real drawback is a hard to follow storyline that introduced numerous people and places that sort of blended together in a miasma of space junk.
Chris Pratt did a good job as the goofy leader of a ragtag group of aliens. Bradley Cooper's raccoon and Vin diesel's tender hearted tree dominated the film and were the real stars.
Plenty of action. Plenty of intelligent humor. Just a very enjoyable movie.
Marvel completely gets what DC with its ponderous, brooding treatments of Superman and Batman as well as it's unwatchable trash like Green Lantern absolutely does not.
As a Batfan it really makes me wish the Crusader was a Marvel property. I'd love to see what they could do with his story.
Guardians is definitely worth seeing. It's a fun ride that deftly hits all the right emotional buttons.
The teaser after the credits was fun. I loved that movie (for some fucking reason) as a kid and I'm curious to see what they do with a reboot.No one laughs at a master of Quack Fu!
viral
Que?sorry...virile
sorry...virile
vir·ilesexy...k? Wesus Christo!
adjective \ˈvir-əl, ˈvir-ˌī(-ə)l, British also ˈvī(-ə)r-ˌī(-ə)l\
: having or suggesting qualities (such as strength and sexual energy) that are associated with men and that are usually considered attractive in men
Something wrong with your medulla oblongata! I believe you're searching for "nubile."
The teaser after the credits was fun. I loved that movie (for some fucking reason) as a kid and I'm curious to see what they do with a reboot.
It was good, because even my wife got it, though my 16 year old son was completely lost.
War GamesOr considering the WOPR would now be less powerful than my iPhone.
A nice little film for what it was.
Matthew Broderick is weirdly awkward and the story is now quite a bit dated considering what computers are able to do.
Ally Sheedy in 21-year old prime, though? With those high waisted pants and that yoga outfit? Good times.
Or considering the WOPR would now be less powerful than my iPhone.
Yea but the phone on the WOPR probably works.
Or considering the WOPR would now be less powerful than my iPhone.
Says you. I have an app
But your Iphone can't bomb Russia.
Let's Be Cops
It came so close to being uproariously funny. But the movie was just afraid to take that extra step and completely go over the edge. On the few occasions when it did push past the norm it had some good comedy moments, but it would almost always defuse those by drifting back into some lame romance thing that nobody cared about whatsoever or it would decide to get serious for a minute or two or it would try to wring some emotional "loser makes good" drama out of it.
It was funny in places, uneven and sporadic in many more. Not the worst comedy I've ever seen. Not the best, either.
Old Dogs
One of the "hey, Robin Williams is dead let's watch one of his movies" moments. This was a pretty bad choice.
"Genius" sports marketers Williams and John Travolta have a kazillion dollar Japanese mega deal in the works when Williams finds out a fling he had years ago with Kelly Preston (Travolta's real life wife) led to a pair of twins. He ends up having to take care of them when Preston goes to jail for two weeks and we get the usual bumbling dad makes good and learns to love while at the same time nailing the business deal in an unconventional way storyline.
This film reminds you again that John Travolta is a terrible actor. In certain roles he's okay. Playing a human being isn't one of those.
It also reminds you again just how socially awkward Williams is. He tries to play it straight without his typical bizarre explosions of manic personalities and looks painfully out of place. Asked to show real emotion and he looks like he's being tasered. Not one single time does he manage to convey an appropriate response that resonates.
The only time the movie is funny is when he gets to do a little of his usual schtick on a golf course due to taking the wrong medication. The rest of the movie fails.
Watching Travolta and Williams fail so miserably at trying to portray human beings made me wonder if the pair aren't really aliens masquerading as humans. Neither of them looked capable of conveying any basic human feeling or carrying on a real interaction. They're both terribly awkward and robotic.
Captain Phillips. Already reviewed, I believe. Just my .02 that the fact that it was based on real events made it even more riveting. When all the pirating was going on during that time period, I was always wondering how in the world did these ships get taken over in the first place? The Maersk is a huge cargo ship so I couldn't understand how they even got on board. I'm still amazed at how they did it but the fact that apparently these ships aren't allowed to have firearms aboard made it a bit easier. I assume they can't have weapons because if they did, none of these pirates would have been successful at boarding the ship.
You know Hanks is going to deliver but the cast of Somali pirates was first rate, especially the leader, Muse. You almost felt sorry for him by the end. The show was intense throughout and big props to the bad ass Navy SEALS. But the very last scene was easily the best and one of the reasons Hanks is one of the best. Not giving anything away but when they bring Hanks back on board and he's being checked out by the doc, just wow. She's examining him and firing off questions about what's going on with him while he's so emotional and in shock that he can barely answer. One of those scenes that took a decent movie to another level, at least for me anyway.
You know Hanks is going to deliver but the cast of Somali pirates was first rate, especially the leader, Muse. You almost felt sorry for him by the end.
You should have read my review.
This is one of those movies that tried really hard to make Kristen Wiig fuckable and almost succeeded.
She is.
The Rundown. B- made for TV action flick. The Rock does a pretty good one man army/wrecking crew. Seann William Scott was actually watchable in something other than American Pie. And Christopher Walken cracks me up. The guy plays a ruthless mofo for 99.9% (Or 267/279ths) of the movie. Then delivers a one liner in Christopher Walken fashion and I spewed Diet Pepsi on the couch.Did we go back in time? Is this 2003, this isn't 2003?
I'm easily amused.
Did we go back in time? Is this 2003, this isn't 2003?
She is.
Saturday night, I let mini pick a movie to go to and he chose The Hunger Games follow up, Mockingbird, Blue Jay...whatever. I rarely want to walk out of a theater in mid flick, but this one.... :facepalm:
Now granted, I didn't see Hunger Games and I'm sure this one would have had a little more meaning if I had. But, I knew enough about it and they explained enough during the movie to give anyone a pretty good idea of what was going on. This movie was just plain bad. Very little action and the acting....even I recognized this as a steaming pile of crap.
I really don't recall much of what Jennifer Lawrence has done in the past. Maybe she's a great actress and my hope is that her performance lies solely on the shoulders of the director.
CUT.....No, no, no. Jennifer, we've gone over this a hundred times. You're supposed to have the exact same "I'm scared to death and about to cry" look you had in the previous 27 scenes. Now get that smile off your face and think scared. Really depressed and scared. Okay, places everybody. Scene 28, Catnip Cleverbeen looks really scared, like she's about to cry while gazing out over the landscape. Aaaannnd...ACTION.
Just a horrible movie.
She can't act a fucking lick. Most overrated person in Hollywood. Only good movies she has been in she has been held up by a great supporting cast (Hustle).
She can't act a fucking lick. Most overrated person in Hollywood. Only good movies she has been in she has been held up by a great supporting cast (Hustle).
Maybe she's a great actress and my hope is that her performance lies solely on the shoulders of the director.
Into The Woods
Awful. Terrible. Horrible. Monumentally bad.
One of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. Absolutely abysmal. I wanted to leave 15 minutes into it. And it never got better. If anything it got worse.
Given the choice of watching this movie again or eating four dozen tomatoes while watching a Bear Bryant movie marathon, I'd choose Busey as Bear 52 out of 50 times.
First of all it was a musical. I wasn't expecting that. I can handle musicals. Phantom of the Opera is great. I've seen others that I enjoyed as well. But the songs in this clunking turd were horribly awful. And stupid. And painful. That made the fact that it was a "musical" more annoying than anything. Mother FUCK this was a bad movie.
Fuck this movie. Fuck this fucking motherfucking piece of fucking fucked up tripe.
It's been a long time since I hated on a movie as hard as I hate on this one. T E R R I B L E movie. Sucked. Blew. Reeked. Stunk.
Hated every single second of it.
Unbroken. See it.
Sanatorium
Typical horror movie. People walk TOWARD strange sounds in a deserted mental hospital going "hello?"
You do that, you deserve to die.
This movie was harmed by the abrupt clip POV that kept cutting from scene to scene. Just glad it didn't have the obligatory "cat jumps out and scares people" gag.
Kind of a B- horror film.
You are not allowed to like Kevin Smith.
The use of Fleetwood Mac was priceless
Who?
Lunchbox.
You are not allowed to like Kevin Smith.
Tusk
I don't know what I expected from this movie but what I got wasn't at all what I thought I was going to get.
One of the weirdest movies I've ever seen. If you know anything about it you know the basic idea: dude tried to turn somebody into a walrus. So there's that.
It was surprisingly funny. Well acted believe or not. Haley Joel something wasn't good but the rest was.
Michael Parks was absolutely fantastic. So was Guy Lapointe as a sort of French Columbo. If you watched this and know who Guy was, don't spoil it. And don't go to IMDB to see. It's better to just let it happen when it does.
Even Justin Long was pretty damn good in his dual role.
The use of Fleetwood Mac was priceless
I probably enjoyed this more than I should have. But any movie that had the capacity to surprise -- even if the surprise is goofy -- wins Kaos points.
Movie isn't for everybody. But it's worth finding out whether or not it is.
I can't bring myself to see that movie knowing how much of a liar the guy was. Why should I trust anything shown on film?
Here's a big write up on him:
http://mpmacting.com/blog/2014/7/19/truth-justice-and-the-curious-case-of-chris-kyle (http://mpmacting.com/blog/2014/7/19/truth-justice-and-the-curious-case-of-chris-kyle)
The biggest two for me are the Jesse Ventura case and the claim that he sniped 30 people from atop the Superdome during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
Here's a big write up on him:
http://mpmacting.com/blog/2014/7/19/truth-justice-and-the-curious-case-of-chris-kyle (http://mpmacting.com/blog/2014/7/19/truth-justice-and-the-curious-case-of-chris-kyle)
The biggest two for me are the Jesse Ventura case and the claim that he sniped 30 people from atop the Superdome during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.
meh. Read the whole thing, the articles he linked and a great deal of the comments. Even if the poster's assertions are all correct it doesn't take away from the guy doing some amazing shit. I'm sure he did embellish some things in his book.
The poster, as someone who seemed more than a little sympathetic to 9/11 truthers, put an awful lot of faith in an inherently corruptible government ran civil trial, ignored that major media including communist news network confirmed the presence of some WMD in the form of bio/nerve agents were present in Iraq and lent an awful lot of credence to two people's account of a drunken story told by Kyle.
Was the trial horseshit? Did Kyle find WMD personally? Did the two people who related the story lie? Fuck, I don't know. I guess I should blog about it with a lengthy self righteous long winded rant about the stupid sheeple believing everything they're told. In the end Kyle probably did most of the combat shit he said he did. At the very least the medals he recieved were certainty not for fictional exploits. Maybe he got the big head and as a result developed a big mouth and his family profited from it, but I still like him more than the petulant little know-it-all blogger.
Ending your blog with a pointed discussion of the righteous mind and cognitive dissonance provides a quick and easy way to marginalize any dissent. That's a pretty clever back door for an article about questioning what you've been told.
Kyle names names and units in his book. Collectively, a couple thousand military personnel could call him on any of his combat exploits. None of that happened in a total vacuum, and if he was the asshole braggart he seems to be at times there would be plenty of reason aside from truth and justice for any of them to come out and call him on any of it, before or after he was killed. The only person who did was known asshole Jesse Ventura, who I wouldn't piss upon only if he were on fire. In conclusion I don't know if he lied a little or a lot (we all get creative when we're measuring our dicks) but I'm not gonna let it get in the way of a good movie. I think you've probably earned the right to drink too much and tell a couple lies when you've earned two silver stars and five bronze stars in service to your country.
American Sniper
Bradley Cooper was good and about 88% believable as the Legend. The rest of the movie was typical Clint Eastwood fare. Clumsily and woodenly poking at heartstrings with a gnarled finger. Awkward pacing. Threads left dangling for no reason. Auxiliary topics opened but never explored. Gaps in reason and logic.
Where the movie lost me: Very badly done fake baby scene. Back at home, trying to deal with his second child and the thing passed from mom to dad was VERY obviously a doll. It was so bad, there are already countless posts about it. It's featured prominently in reviews. It was horrifically bad.
Cooper's performance aside, the film was just painfully flat and lifeless. I wanted to be moved. I wanted to be inspired. I wanted to feel the tension and be for good guys but Clint's direction sucked every bit of that out of me. I was never really given a reason to like Chris Kyle other than he was a twangy Texas boy who could aim a gun. It felt like every potential emotional mark was completely missed.
There were numerous throwaway sidebars... his brother, for one. "Fuck this place." Ok. Why? What was the natural exposition of that scene?
I was emotionally invested in Lone Survivor. I had a stake in each of the main characters. I got their pain and felt the rage and helplessness. That movie (whether or not it was 100% historically accurate) reached me on several levels. American Sniper kept me at arm's length for the most part. At times I felt like Eastwood was even a little conflicted, not really sure what story he wanted to tell.
---- SPOILER -----
If you know the story, you know that Chris was killed during the filming by a veteran he was trying to help. The damn fool shot him with his own gun at a shooting range and then stole his truck.
Without that coda? Without that sobering reality -- which, remember, was not even a part of the original story that was filmed? This would have been a substantially less powerful movie and one that would (to me, at least) barely resonate.
---- END SPOILER -----
It's not Black Hawk Down. It's not Lone Survivor. It's not Saving Private Ryan, Full Metal Jacket or even Hurt Locker. It doesn't reach those heights.
Fake Baby:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7QEgxICIAAyUDt.jpg:large)
Problem?
It wasn't a good movie.
Hell you knew what I meant.
I won't let it get in the way of an okay movie/ memory of a decorated veteran. How bout that
two silver stars and five bronze stars = a very bad ass.
American SniperThank you. Thought it was just me. It was kind of boring and I watched a boot leg of it. I really wanted to know how he dealt with the shots he took.
Bradley Cooper was good and about 88% believable as the Legend. The rest of the movie was typical Clint Eastwood fare. Clumsily and woodenly poking at heartstrings with a gnarled finger. Awkward pacing. Threads left dangling for no reason. Auxiliary topics opened but never explored. Gaps in reason and logic.
Where the movie lost me: Very badly done fake baby scene. Back at home, trying to deal with his second child and the thing passed from mom to dad was VERY obviously a doll. It was so bad, there are already countless posts about it. It's featured prominently in reviews. It was horrifically bad.
Cooper's performance aside, the film was just painfully flat and lifeless. I wanted to be moved. I wanted to be inspired. I wanted to feel the tension and be for good guys but Clint's direction sucked every bit of that out of me. I was never really given a reason to like Chris Kyle other than he was a twangy Texas boy who could aim a gun. It felt like every potential emotional mark was completely missed.
There were numerous throwaway sidebars... his brother, for one. "Fuck this place." Ok. Why? What was the natural exposition of that scene?
I was emotionally invested in Lone Survivor. I had a stake in each of the main characters. I got their pain and felt the rage and helplessness. That movie (whether or not it was 100% historically accurate) reached me on several levels. American Sniper kept me at arm's length for the most part. At times I felt like Eastwood was even a little conflicted, not really sure what story he wanted to tell.
---- SPOILER -----
If you know the story, you know that Chris was killed during the filming by a veteran he was trying to help. The damn fool shot him with his own gun at a shooting range and then stole his truck.
Without that coda? Without that sobering reality -- which, remember, was not even a part of the original story that was filmed? This would have been a substantially less powerful movie and one that would (to me, at least) barely resonate.
---- END SPOILER -----
It's not Black Hawk Down. It's not Lone Survivor. It's not Saving Private Ryan, Full Metal Jacket or even Hurt Locker. It doesn't reach those heights.
Fake Baby:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7QEgxICIAAyUDt.jpg:large)
American Sniper
Bradley Cooper was good and about 88% believable as the Legend. The rest of the movie was typical Clint Eastwood fare. Clumsily and woodenly poking at heartstrings with a gnarled finger. Awkward pacing. Threads left dangling for no reason. Auxiliary topics opened but never explored. Gaps in reason and logic.
Where the movie lost me: Very badly done fake baby scene. Back at home, trying to deal with his second child and the thing passed from mom to dad was VERY obviously a doll. It was so bad, there are already countless posts about it. It's featured prominently in reviews. It was horrifically bad.
Cooper's performance aside, the film was just painfully flat and lifeless. I wanted to be moved. I wanted to be inspired. I wanted to feel the tension and be for good guys but Clint's direction sucked every bit of that out of me. I was never really given a reason to like Chris Kyle other than he was a twangy Texas boy who could aim a gun. It felt like every potential emotional mark was completely missed.
There were numerous throwaway sidebars... his brother, for one. "Fuck this place." Ok. Why? What was the natural exposition of that scene?
I was emotionally invested in Lone Survivor. I had a stake in each of the main characters. I got their pain and felt the rage and helplessness. That movie (whether or not it was 100% historically accurate) reached me on several levels. American Sniper kept me at arm's length for the most part. At times I felt like Eastwood was even a little conflicted, not really sure what story he wanted to tell.
---- SPOILER -----
If you know the story, you know that Chris was killed during the filming by a veteran he was trying to help. The damn fool shot him with his own gun at a shooting range and then stole his truck.
Without that coda? Without that sobering reality -- which, remember, was not even a part of the original story that was filmed? This would have been a substantially less powerful movie and one that would (to me, at least) barely resonate.
---- END SPOILER -----
It's not Black Hawk Down. It's not Lone Survivor. It's not Saving Private Ryan, Full Metal Jacket or even Hurt Locker. It doesn't reach those heights.
Fake Baby:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B7QEgxICIAAyUDt.jpg:large)
I haven't seen the movie yet. Actually have not decided if I will. There is no doubt that Kyle did a number of things that he will always have my respect for but like a lot of SOF folks I knew in my day they could also be full of shit and suffer from needing their ego pumped on a regular basis.
I am no fan of Jesse Ventura but you could do worse than read this article.
There is a reason that the court agreed with him on his defamation lawsuit which are historically hard to prove.
http://mpmacting.com/blog/2014/7/19/truth-justice-and-the-curious-case-of-chris-kyle (http://mpmacting.com/blog/2014/7/19/truth-justice-and-the-curious-case-of-chris-kyle)
Seriously?
That's the same weak shit THS posted way back and which was ridiculed by others.
I'm hear you but the fact still remains that a number of things in his book do not add up. I suspect he and Richard Richard Marcinko would have gotten along fine.Agree on the sniper book. And I respect and appreciate what this guy did for his country, as I do all who served. At the same time, I know that the vast majority of true American heroes never wrote a book about themselves or had a movie made about what they did.
Agree on the sniper book. And I respect and appreciate what this guy did for his country, as I do all who served. At the same time, I know that the vast majority of true American heroes never wrote a book about themselves or had a movie made about what they did.
Sani, I know you will know about this battle. My uncle was one of the "frozen chosin" and the only way I know about it is from asking him questions when I was kid. I didn't know any better than to ask, "Did you kill a bunch of folks Uncle D?" He would talk to kids about it.
Anyway, I'm no military history buff but I've read enough about this battle to know that it was one of the worst or best in modern military history. It depends on how you look at it.
About 8k U.S. marines were surrounded by 120k Chinese and they ran out of most everything. They had to make a decision to "attack from a different direction" (some would call it a retreat but not the commander who came up with this phrase). It was the coldest winter in Korea in 100 years.
I remember him talking about how they would stack up their frozen buddies to hide behind them for cover and hearing the bullets whistle over them. They ran out of ammo and our guys would fly over, dropping loose ammo. He said the Chinese were coming so fast that they couldn't reload and they were bayonetting them.
My point is, there are a bunch of heroes out there that you don't hear ANYTHING from, unless you ask. And most of them will likely say, like I heard him tell someone one time, that they left their heroes over there.
Nowadays, it seems like if you are lucky enough to live through a famous skirmish or battle, you come home and cash in. Not saying that I blame them. But I don't think it's quite so glamorous. That's why I chose to not go see the movie.
I don't understand. His account doesn't matter because he spoke and wrote about it? Studies show that talking and writing reduce the effects of PTSD. Furthermore I think there should be more written about military experiences because it increases public awareness. Wouldn't you rather the entertainment generated by the war on terrorism come from and be profited by those who sacrificed to participate? No GIs from WWII profited from Saving Private Ryan.Look, I don't want to get into an argument because I know that you will go cop and shoot WT as I'm reaching for the keyboard.
His combat didn't matter because it wasn't a single battle in the Korean war? Generally I agree with your posts WT I just don't understand this one. Lots of US service members fought in battles besides the chosin reservoir and their accounts matter. (Besides, neither I nor you would know about it if someone hadn't said something.)
In my family I knew my great grandfather on my father's side who served in WWI, my grandfather and his brothers (that survived, on my father's side) who served, to a man, in the pacific theater of WWII and my grandfather on my mother's side who served in Korea. Didn't say shoot about it. None of them. That was just their way. On the other hand, if they had, I would be too busy managing my inherited fortune to talk to you idiots on an internet forum. Just because he wrote about it (like many, many before him) his heroism doesn't count any more?
Be aware that I'm not denigrating your decision to not read a book or watch a movie, just saying I don't understand your reasoning. This guy served in the military version of the NFL. He was the best of the best and, reasonably, got pretty lucky in engagements. Some folks, even in the NFL, are nobodies but some folks are record breakers. He wanted to tell his story and he profited from it before he was killed by some idiot. You can not to watch it for whatever reason but I have to question questionable reasoning.
I mean fudge it, I only have like 6 good stories from around a decade of farting around with the idiotic criminals Alabama has to offer but I'll still write a book and fill in a bunch of stories from some guy named token.
The people who survived WWII didn't come home and whine about it, blame their service for their inability to function in society All they did was help build the greatest society in the history of the world instead of bitching and moaning.
Those guys saw horrors that soldiers in subsequent wars could not even fathom. And they manned up, nutted up, endured and then thrived.
What happened to Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type. That was an American. He wasn't in touch with his feelings. He just did what he had to do.
Shoot him. Shoot him.
It's duck season
It's wabbit season.
Horror is Horror, no matter when the time. Yes, modern technology has made destroying and mangling the human body much easier, but a mangled body in 1942 is no different than one in 1992. You may not believe this but part of the reason that were able to adapt better was they had time to decompress, a lot them stayed in country after they finished and were assigned roles to help the local population rebuild, which in turn helped them rebuild themselves. Then they took a slow boat home. After one deployment I was home in less than 18 hours from being in country. We just didn't have time to adjust, we went from one extreme to the other.
I am not saying anybody is right or wrong on this. I still haven't made up my mind to go see the movie. As for him coming home and profiting from this I have no problem. I seriously doubt he went to Hollywood and was shopping scripts running around telling people he was the USA most deadly sniper. I would like to think they approached him and he saw a way to tell his story and have his family benefit from this.
Check casualty numbers from the civil war, ww1, ww2 compared to anything the last 20 years. It was a lot more common then. Those guys saw a lot more of it and it's not even close.
Fwiw- he gave the proceeds of the book to other soldiers in need coming home with disabilities.
I think it's nice that you and K are telling dallas and the others who served what they saw/experienced.
You've seen guys blown by a halfling? Hanging around VV again?
Meh....you seen one guy blown in half, you seen em' all.
I don't understand. His account doesn't matter because he spoke and wrote about it? Studies show that talking and writing reduce the effects of PTSD. Furthermore I think there should be more written about military experiences because it increases public awareness. Wouldn't you rather the entertainment generated by the war on terrorism come from and be profited by those who sacrificed to participate? No GIs from WWII profited from Saving Private Ryan.
His combat didn't matter because it wasn't a single battle in the Korean war? Generally I agree with your posts WT I just don't understand this one. Lots of US service members fought in battles besides the chosin reservoir and their accounts matter. (Besides, neither I nor you would know about it if someone hadn't said something.)
In my family I knew my great grandfather on my father's side who served in WWI, my grandfather and his brothers (that survived, on my father's side) who served, to a man, in the pacific theater of WWII and my grandfather on my mother's side who served in Korea. Didn't say shoot about it. None of them. That was just their way. On the other hand, if they had, I would be too busy managing my inherited fortune to talk to you idiots on an internet forum. Just because he wrote about it (like many, many before him) his heroism doesn't count any more?
Be aware that I'm not denigrating your decision to not read a book or watch a movie, just saying I don't understand your reasoning. This guy served in the military version of the NFL. He was the best of the best and, reasonably, got pretty lucky in engagements. Some folks, even in the NFL, are nobodies but some folks are record breakers. He wanted to tell his story and he profited from it before he was killed by some idiot. You can not to watch it for whatever reason but I have to question questionable reasoning.
I mean fudge it, I only have like 6 good stories from around a decade of farting around with the idiotic criminals Alabama has to offer but I'll still write a book and fill in a bunch of stories from some guy named token.
I think it's nice that you and K are telling dallas and the others who served what they saw/experienced.
I think it's nice that you and K are telling dallas and the others who served what they saw/experienced.
Thanks for saving me some dough on Loft and Fury, K. Have you seen Foxcatcher or do you plan to? Looks interesting. I like "true" crime stories.
Pleased to be quoting where we said that. All I said was the grotesque casualties were a lot more numerous in stated conflicts. Tell me where I am wrong. I apologize that I don't think Grenada was as bloody as D Day.
Kingsman
From the director of the better-than-expected Kick Ass comes this combination of James Bond, Jason Bourne and Kill Bill. And it's really, really good. The movie knows where it owes its debts and even specifically references Bond and Bourne.
Not sure I've enjoyed a movie more in quite a while. Not that it's the best movie I've seen, but just that it was all well done and a good mix of silly and serious. Very good stuff.
Essential story is a street punk being recruited into an elite British secret service organization. Even though he's not the conventional selection, he proves his worth and ends up trying to save the world.
Some stunningly elaborate sequences of violence, a hamming-it-up Samuel L. Jackson, a girl with knives for legs, a shockingly old Luke Skywalker, some cute puppies and occasionally hard to understand accents all merged together to make a qualify film. it didn't waste time in distracting subplots, didn't follow the trite (and easy) path of trying to create a love story between the main character and one of his competitors. It just plowed along with the story from start to finish and didn't really waste a frame.
The humorous aspects of the movie were well placed, well executed and pretty clever.
Watch for a sweet little call back to Trading Places toward the end after mentioning the movie earlier in the film.
It took balls for the studio to release this movie on the same weekend that 50 Shits of Fuck came out. Any other weekend and I think this is the top grossing movie of the year (at least so far). We went to a Saturday night showing at 9:20. Yeah, both theaters showing 50 Fucks of Slut were full of greasy grinning men and their dates (reeking of the new perfume from Max Factor 'hoping I get laid'). But there weren't many empty seats in Kingsman either.
I hope a good movie like this doesn't get lost in the blizzard surrounding the 50 Dicks of Skeet. It deserves to be seen.
Lazarus Effect
Take an ounce of Pet Semetary, mix in two cups of Lucy, a dash of Firestarter and add six large slices of Flatliners and you've got this moderately lame horror film.
It had the chance to explore some really heady topics but devolved in the second half into a semi-hokey film we've seen a hundred times before.
Olivia Wilde does mean bitch pretty well, but once again the cardinal rule of horror -- PG13 equals a film that falls flat -- holds true.
Ouija boards are scary ass things. I've been waiting for somebody to take one on and do it justice. This movie didn't. It blew it.
I've got a story with one of those fucking things too, and I won't go near them.
Yep. Like a ten-year old girl. I will run from the room if somebody breaks one of those things out. I won't have one in my house at all. Don't even try to bring one.
Gonna put tomatoes on one and express ship.
Focus
Couldn't get in Cinderella or Sponge Bob tonight so we settled for Focus. Good flick. Very entertaining. Will Smith usually gives a solid and funny performance and this film was no exception. Smith plays the ultimate pick-pocket/con artist, one of the higher ups in a network of thieves. Movie centers around his serious love interest in Margot Robbie, a fellow con artist, and several scams with pretty cool twists and turns. Adrian Martinez has several appearances in the movie and without him, it would have been really average, He easily has 2-3 of the funniest moments in it. "No, you are a lesbian. Every other time you talk, I smell vagina".
Maybe not worth the $31.00 plunked down for 2 tix, small popcorn and a drink. But definitely worth a rental and a couple of hours of your time.
Run All Night
Just call this A Non-Stop Walk Taken Among The Tombstones aka White Equalizer.
Cookie cutter movie where Neeson is the crusty baddest fuck on the planet taking out armies by himself.
Very formulaic. Neeson sleepwalked through it. Ed Harris debased himself.
Two actors who can do much better plodding through cliched mayhem just to make a paycheck. Neither looked like they enjoyed a moment of it.
I like Neeson, but this is getting old. He's had a long career and shown the ability to bring depth to a number of varied roles, but this late career action arc is limiting him to the point that people are going to forget how good he used to be.
Run All Night
Just call this A Non-Stop Walk Taken Among The Tombstones aka White Equalizer.
Cookie cutter movie where Neeson is the crusty baddest fuck on the planet taking out armies by himself.
Very formulaic. Neeson sleepwalked through it. Ed Harris debased himself.
Two actors who can do much better plodding through cliched mayhem just to make a paycheck. Neither looked like they enjoyed a moment of it.
I like Neeson, but this is getting old. He's had a long career and shown the ability to bring depth to a number of varied roles, but this late career action arc is limiting him to the point that people are going to forget how good he used to be.
Yeah, I honestly didn't know who the guy was until I saw Taken. Maybe I just didn't pay attention. But yeah, while I love a well done, "One man army" flick, this is getting to be like another Vin Diesel street racing movie.
Hey bitch... Vin Diesel and his car can solve all of the worlds problems.
I'd like to see one superhero movie soon that doesn't involve destroying an entire city and fighting from start to finish. There are better stories that can be told.
It wasn't a bad movie. It doesn't come close to supplanting Marvel's top thee (Iron Man 1, Guardians of the Galaxy and Avengers 1) but it is better than the second Thor, either Captain America, all of the Spiderman movies combined, all of the X-Men (which I never much cared for) and maybe the second and third Iron Man. Second Iron Man for sure, but the third Tony Stark movie might be as good or better than this massive noisefest.
For you Wench. Chris Evans is the reason this movie is good. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4NsB6eDQeM
I generally don't like blondes, but there is an exception for every rule, and Cap is it. Chris Evans is just beautiful, and Cap'n America is every woman's dream man, so decent and good. He was not shirtless at all in Ultron, which is just a damn shame. So I am going to admit to some serious Cap bias, and say that I loved the first Captain America and LOVED LOVED the Winter Soldier. GOTG is probably my favorite Avengers movie so far, but I have no complaints about any of them at all. If I had to pick my least favorite, the second Thor wasn't all that, although I do enjoy Loki. I didn't care for any of the Spiderman movies because I find Toby Maquire tiresome. Hawkeye made me like him a little more that I did before, but I still don't find Jeremy Renner attractive. His eyes are too... buggy or something. I find it interesting that he is coming to a comic con in Houston this month, and charges $150 for an autograph. Wow. Mighty impressed with himself. I'd pay that for a photo of me with Chris Evans, but Renner's autograph? No thanks.
The Stan Lee cameo was the best one yet. Excelsior!!!!!!!
https://youtu.be/N8m-NxpUIP0
I love the fact the Rooker was eating chocolate covered pretzels. LMAO
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Damn, I didn't even catch that part.
As for all the buildings crashing and all the explosions, well, Kaos needs to just tell the kids to get off his damn lawn and get over it. Yes, there was a LOT of noise and clouds of dust but that's to be expected when superheroes go at it.
They're a little melty but damn are they exquisite.
Man of Steel was the tipping point for me.
If I were the mayor of Metropolis, I'd tell Superman to take his shit to Gotham City.
So is the upcoming movie, Batman vs Superman, in Gotham or in the Metro?
Case in point, Jamie Foxx had a small part in it. His name was Motherfucking Jones.
You know how he got that name?
When he was a kid he snuck into his mother's bedroom.
She was laying there, naked.
She'd been drinking all night.
And he snuck up behind her.
And he slipped his fingers...
into her purse.
And he took her money. The whole weeks pay. He really fucked her over and that's how he got the name, Motherfucker Jones.
Maybe you should go by motherfucker over Jones...to avoid the confusion.What confusion?
Anyone seen Pitch Perfect 2? I've heard good things about it.
Anyone seen Pitch Perfect 2? I've heard good things about it.
Pitch Perfect 2
Brittany Murphy was hysterically bad.
This guy here is dead.
Anyone seen Pitch Perfect 2? I've heard good things about it.
Tops in the box office this weekend - even beat Mad Max. $70.3M - that's a lot of crap.
Anyone seen Pitch Perfect 2? I've heard good things about it.I watched it this weekend thought it was a smash hit. It's a heated mess.
I watched it this weekend thought it was a smash hit. It's a heated mess.
Mad Max: Fury RoadI saw Mad Max on HBO around 1986. If you are catching up, I also recommend Smokey and the Bandit and Rambo.
Meh. About 45 minutes too long. The overbearing hockey horn was too much, too often. Too much girly drama for a Max film
Mad Max: Fury RoadThat's disappointing to hear.
Meh. About 45 minutes too long. The overbearing hockey horn was too much, too often. Too much girly drama for a Max film
That's disappointing to hear.
A whole lot of "meh". Nothing new or groundbreaking. The jokes/one-liners are getting progressively worse as the franchise dumbs down for the masses.
Total waste of my 2.5 hours and $30.
Saw this yesterday and yes. Agree entirely especially on the cheesy one liners. Movie could have also been shortened by a half hour.Dead to me, you are.
Dead to me, you are.
Alexandra Daddario, 29 playing a 21-year old, had boobs that needed their own billing. They bounced, jiggled, waggled and wiggled every time she moved.
Beverly Hills Cop
Must see. Eddie Murphy hasn't put out anything funny in a very long time. He knocked it out of the park with this one. Murphy plays a Detroit detective who takes a "vacation" out to Beverly Hills, but the real purpose of his trip is to track down his friend's killers. During the course of his hunt for the mobsters, he befriends a couple of Beverly Hills detectives, played by John Ashton and Judge Reinhold, always keeping them in trouble with his zany antics. Reinhold looks like he's barely aged since Fast Times. Must be the make up.
The contrast in police styles between the whatever-means-necessary Murphy, and the by-the-book, straight laced Beverly Hills detectives, makes for some real side splitting moments. Guffaws a-plenty. Bronson Pinchot and Damon Wayans have cameo appearances that add so much to the hilarity as well. I can only hope they're already working on a sequel.
Beverly Hills CopThe key to comedy is timing. Those who understand the concept are the ones who reap the benefits.
The key to comedy is timing. Those who understand the concept are the ones who reap the benefits.
Snags post is a textbook example which accurately illustrates the concept of comedic timing. A guy offers a look into this soul and makes a touching connection with the plot of an emotional movie. Snags follows it with fucking Beverly Hills Cop - from 1986!
I went from the depths of K's soulful review to the apex of lowbrow comedy - all in the matter of 2 minutes.
I salute you, Snags! Very nicely played!
1986???? Son of a..........Thanks for keeping us up to date with all the new releases.
Thanks for keeping us up to date with all the new releases.
Dax fucking sucks.Snags may cu.... oh, did Snags just get punk'd?
Jurassic World, AKA Product Placement Land
There are some movie moments that stay with you forever. When the star destroyer (or whatever that was) crawls from the top of the screen in the opening of Star Wars it changed the way people saw movie CGI. It had depth and enormity. You knew at that moment that Star Wars was a bigger film than you'd anticipated. It made you believe.
About 16 years later Jurassic Park did the same thing. When those dinosaurs rose over the plain and charged around Damien (whatever his name was) the CGI was so breathtaking that you believed that dinosaurs could actually exist in this time and space.
Since then we've seen a lot thanks to the wonders of CGI. We've seen the White House destroyed in Independence Day. We've seen Transformers morph from cars to enormous robots. We've seen entire cities leveled by Batman, Superman, Avengers, Spiderman, Godzilla and others. We've seen liquid terminators. We've seen worlds populated by weird blue people. We've seen Sandra Bullock adrift in space.
That original wonder, the shock and awe of dinosaurs walking the earth and trying to eat Jeff Goldblum was what made Jurassic Park so compelling. And that's what's missing in this movie.
We've seen dinosaurs tromping around in the original film and its sequels. We've seen bigger and badder CGI since. For this film to be a triumph it needed a solid original story and a good cast.
It had a great cast. Hard to imagine that Andy from Parks and Rec has become a box office hero. The Law & Order dudes are good in what the script let them do. The corrections officer from Orange and the Cop from Let's Be are mildly amusing (and could have been so, so much more). But the story is essentially the same as it has been forever. It really needed a new twist, something other than dinosaurs eating people and fighting each other. Something other than bullets and helicopter crashes and sweeping views of the remote island. It needed something other than tourists in some sort of mild peril.
It was a good movie, reasonably well acted and beautifully rendered. It had all the pieces, too bad it didn't do more with them.
Yeah, it will make an asston of money. I'm not saying don't go see it (I think this is the kind of movie that only works in a theater) but don't go expecting a transformative reboot. Expect the same thing you've seen several times before wrapped in a different package.
It just didn't have the magic and emotional resonance of the original.
If you go, take a pen and paper and write down all the instances of product placement. It got to be so prevalent that I started counting the number of different products and brands I saw on display. I counted at least 40 and I didn't start counting until half an hour or more into the film.
In fact, I'd like to create a comprehensive list of the products that are portrayed at some point.
Minor spoiler: I predict that the Rex fight will far surpass the Batman/Superman fiasco coming down the pike.
After reading your review, I was prepared to be put off by the product placement. It's not half as bad as you make it out to be. The story is set in a theme park...where you will find all manner of consumable goods and products with a trademarked name pushed at you from every angle. That said, they even joked about the pending deluge of product placement with the "Verizon Wireless presents..." line at the new Rex display early in the movie.
The rest of your review is pretty spot on: fun, but not groundbreaking, movie.
Minor spoiler: I predict that the Rex fight will far surpass the Batman/Superman fiasco coming down the pike.
Jurassic World, AKA Product Placement Land
Inside Out
Girlfriend is a huge Pixar fan, so we went to see this on Friday afternoon. Theater was packed with unruly children, mostly under 10 with the vast majority of them younger than 5.
THIS IS NOT A MOVIE FOR KIDS. IT IS A MOVIE ABOUT A KID.
The bright colors and goofball visualizations of complex emotional/memory concepts kept the little bastards mostly entertained, but they obviously couldn't grasp the overall meaning of the story.
It was a very good movie about the maturation of a young girl and the complex evolution of emotional responses and personality traits as we age.
Just don't go to the 12:55pm showing...shit will be a daycare zoo.
Did you get any head though?
She lives by the book.
She lives by the book.
How much did that cost ya?
Matinee tix: $12
Popcorn andlubebutter: $8
Going all Jackson Pollack on the theater upholstery: Priceless
Note: I never said that she made with the head in the theater.
Jupiter AscendingVerdict: You may need to find a new group
I could tell when this was released that it would stink on ice. But, the group prevailed last night and I was outvoted, so we streamed this steaming pile.
Knowing that it would be bad, I thought to myself, "Self, you should get Cheech-stoned for this and maybe it'll be amusing."
I was so wrong. Nothing could save that abortion of a film. The CGI was laughably bad, the acting horrible, the makeup/wardrobe were asinine and the story abysmal.
Mila was the only redeeming quality...and only because she's smoking hot. Her acting is JLaw bad.
Jupiter Ascending
I could tell when this was released that it would stink on ice. But, the group prevailed last night and I was outvoted, so we streamed this steaming pile.
Knowing that it would be bad, I thought to myself, "Self, you should get Cheech-stoned for this and maybe it'll be amusing."
I was so wrong. Nothing could save that abortion of a film. The CGI was laughably bad, the acting horrible, the makeup/wardrobe were asinine and the story abysmal.
Mila was the only redeeming quality...and only because she's smoking hot. Her acting is JLaw bad.
Inside Out
Girlfriend is a huge Pixar fan, so we went to see this on Friday afternoon. Theater was packed with unruly children, mostly under 10 with the vast majority of them younger than 5.
THIS IS NOT A MOVIE FOR KIDS. IT IS A MOVIE ABOUT A KID.
The bright colors and goofball visualizations of complex emotional/memory concepts kept the little bastards mostly entertained, but they obviously couldn't grasp the overall meaning of the story.
It was a very good movie about the maturation of a young girl and the complex evolution of emotional responses and personality traits as we age.
Just don't go to the 12:55pm showing...shit will be a daycare zoo.
Terminator Genisys
Yeah...no. :facepalm: of a movie.
Keanau delivers another tone-deaf wooden performance.
Also known as: his entire career.
He's got some clunkers on the resume, but lifetime pass given in my book for Point Break and The Matrix.
I liked John Wick. Fun rampage flick...Not sure why K expected high art.
K's definition of high art:
(http://media.mlive.com/news/baycity_impact/photo/kiss-triubtejpg-ac59466408a27614.jpg)
He's got some clunkers on the resume, but lifetime pass given in my book for Point Break and The Matrix.
I liked John Wick. Fun rampage flick...Not sure why K expected high art.
He's got some clunkers on the resume, but lifetime pass given in my book for Point Break and The Matrix.
I liked John Wick. Fun rampage flick...Not sure why K expected high art.
Snowpiercer
Another movie that got tons of critical praise. And another that flatlined for me.
Take Mad Max, add in some Sucker Punch (minus all the hot girls), throw in some Hunger Games, stir it all up on a train and layer an avalanche of snow and you've got Snowpiercer.
Chris Evans was really good in his role. Ed Harris was Ed Harris. The story was ridiculous. The ending -- well I'm sure some of you would laud its brilliance but I was shaking my head in disgust. Of all the directions it could have gone...
I wanted to watch this movie for a long time. Hate I wasted my time.
Soylent green is people
Snowpiercer
Another movie that got tons of critical praise. And another that flatlined for me.
Take Mad Max, add in some Sucker Punch (minus all the hot girls), throw in some Hunger Games, stir it all up on a train and layer an avalanche of snow and you've got Snowpiercer.
Chris Evans was really good in his role. Ed Harris was Ed Harris. The story was ridiculous. The ending -- well I'm sure some of you would laud its brilliance but I was shaking my head in disgust. Of all the directions it could have gone...
I wanted to watch this movie for a long time. Hate I wasted my time.
Chris Evans is good at just breathing and standing still and blinking his eyes and stuff.Liked the angle of the dangle did you?
Someone on here recommended I watch The Losers because he is in it. I LOVED it in general, but he was freaking hysterical. Evans was the best part of the movie other than the sex scene with whatsherface and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. I have wanted to see him get all sexed up since he was on Grey's Anatomy. Got my wish and how...
Liked the angle of the dangle did you?
some of it was a little over the top and maybe not historically accurate.
Stoneheart Asylum
Kate Beckinsale
Can I get a review of the blockbuster film, "Zombeavers"?
Nice beaver
You have entirely too much time on your hands.
Good song. Saw it performed live not too long ago.
So far this summer I've sorta seen Elton John and attended Def Leppard, Styx, Imagine Dragons, Boston, Kansas, Tesla and some other concerts I can't remember. Still have Van Halen, Lenny Kravitz, Billy Idol, Hall and Oates and a few more to go before my summer tour ends.
Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No
I know it's supposed to be bad. That's part of the concept. But good grief, this was awful. It was so bad it almost wasn't any fun.
Machete was bad. But Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba (looking magnificent) and Michelle Rodriguez (looking impossibly good) played it up, hammed it up and made it a spectacular movie. It's even better in retrospect than it was on first viewing.
Sharknado? It was just shitty bad. Super shitty. Bad CGI. Terrible acting. Awful makeup. Worst dialogue ever. Dumbest story ever contrived. In Machete Trejo, Alba and Rodriguez looked like they were having fun. The shitty performers in this god awful thing didn't appear to be having any fun at all.
*** SPOILERS ***
Mark Cuban was stiffly awful as a gun-toting president.
Tara Reid looks like red-assed hell. If she ever was attractive, she left that attribute behind years ago. And she can't act a single lick.
Bo Derek looked like a monkey with an electric drill got ahold of her face and body. And she can't act either.
Hasselhoff has become a joke in and of himself. Terrible.
The best actor in the entire damn movie was probably Matt Lauer. Either him or Chris Jericho of WWE. Or maybe Al Roker. Or maybe Cassie Scerbo's titties.
When the ultra shitty Ian Zeiring dove into a shark's mouth in space and then used the burning fish to survive re-entry to earth's atmosphere, it was pretty obvious this ridiculous film series had -- pardon the pun -- jumped the shark.
If you're going to do a stupid movie, do a stupid movie. Give it some lightness and levity. This thing was just a cardboard turd floating in a pool of doo doo water.
Masochist.He enjoys it.
Mission Impossible 5
Kind of like Mission Impossible 4. No love story angle which was nice. Some crazy stunts. Shaun of the Dead is funny. Popcorn movie but mostly fun unless you apply an ounce of brain power to it. Then you'll realize how stupid the plot really is but turn your brain off for two hours and fun can be had.
Side note: never do popcorn on a Sunday afternoon. Pretty sure they are serving me warmed up stuff from Saturday and my anus is still mad at me for that small helping.
Did you also catch a Sunday afternoon madanus?Mission Impossible 5Side note: Kaos is my name.
Kind of like Mission Impossible 4. No love story angle which was nice. Some crazy stunts. Shaun of the Dead is funny. Popcorn movie but mostly fun unless you apply an ounce of brain power to it. Then you'll realize how stupid the plot really is but turn your brain off for two hours and fun can be had.
Side note: never do popcorn on a Sunday afternoon. Pretty sure they are serving me warmed up stuff from Saturday and my anus is still mad at me for that small helping.
Mission Impossible 5
Kind of like Mission Impossible 4. No love story angle which was nice. Some crazy stunts. Shaun of the Dead is funny. Popcorn movie but mostly fun unless you apply an ounce of brain power to it. Then you'll realize how stupid the plot really is but turn your brain off for two hours and fun can be had.
Side note: never do popcorn on a Sunday afternoon. Pretty sure they are serving me warmed up stuff from Saturday and my anus is still mad at me for that small helping.
Straight Outta Compton is, predictably, awesome. I wanted more back-story and would have gladly traded some of the post-break up meandering to know how Cube and Dre started working at the club together.Huh?
Oshea Junior is legit. He's got his pop's mannerisms down pretty well. Look out for remakes of Are We There Yet and the Friday franchise. Watch for the origin of "Bye, Felicia" in SOC.
The guys that play Suge and Pac are dead-ringers...Snoop was poorly cast.
Straight Outta Compton is, predictably, awesome. I wanted more back-story and would have gladly traded some of the post-break up meandering to know how Cube and Dre started working at the club together.I can't wait to watch thanks for the review.
Oshea Junior is legit. He's got his pop's mannerisms down pretty well. Look out for remakes of Are We There Yet and the Friday franchise. Watch for the origin of "Bye, Felicia" in SOC.
The guys that play Suge and Pac are dead-ringers...Snoop was poorly cast.
Straight Outta Compton is, predictably, awesome. I wanted more back-story and would have gladly traded some of the post-break up meandering to know how Cube and Dre started working at the club together.
Oshea Junior is legit. He's got his pop's mannerisms down pretty well. Look out for remakes of Are We There Yet and the Friday franchise. Watch for the origin of "Bye, Felicia" in SOC.
The guys that play Suge and Pac are dead-ringers...Snoop was poorly cast.
You guys are skrate up hood.
Black Mass
Black Mass Review
That's disappointing I was looking forward to seeing this.
That's disappointing I was looking forward to seeing this.
Ditto....why K gotta be fucking up our high expectations?
Imma still go see it though. Like him, I'm intrigued by the guy. Bad mofo.
Due Date
Might have been reviewed back on page 74. Don't recall. Never seen this 2010 flick but it came on last night. Robert Downey, Jr. and Zach Gafalakinikalis...alafinis basically remake Planes, Trains & Automobiles. Exact same story line. Probably more what the sequel would be like. Downey Jr. plays Steve Martin's straight-laced character trying to get home to his wife without wallet or luggage. Gafalafa...err, Zach plays Candy, who is an aspiring actor on his way to Hollywood.
Snickers-a-plenty. A big waste of $$$ if you saw it in the theater. A smaller waste of $$$ of you rented it. Pretty entertaining if it comes on at 8:00 on a Wednesday night. Worth the watch there.
100 pages and going strong congrats K.
Crimson Peak
Expected a horror movie. Got a few weird ghostly pop-ups most of which were in the previews.
The rest of the movie was horrible period outfits, terrible hairdos, dramatic music and knowing glances (leers) between the earnest cast.
The back story about some ridiculous attempt to mine crimson clay from under a sagging house added nothing to the film and actually caused it to drag out longer than it should.
The "shocker" wasn't really shocking at all given the long leers and assorted whispered comments.
I didn't hate it, but it was more puff than substance. More a chance for Jessica Chastain to give up on even trying a british accent while grumping around in heavy victorian garb, more a chance for Loki to smirk, and more a chance for Alice to crawl through a puffy shouldered rabbit hole.
The lead girl was so ugly it was hard to watch. She's a terrible actress and looking at her for that long made my eyes hurt. Her outfits with giant balls of shoulder material were off-putting and annoying. I hope to never see her in another movie again. She was atrocious.
The movie should have decided to be either the story of some swindling con artists trying to keep their family name alive or the story of a really ugly girl trapped in a house with ghosts and boogeys. It needed a more supernatural flair to work as horror. Would have been so much better if Loki or Chastain turned out to be vampires or dead or something. Or if the ghosts had never been part of the mix and it was a straight up story about a pair of sickos who charm people out of their fortunes. Trying to straddle the fence between worlds didn't work.
Vacation
I loathe Ed Helms. He was the absolute worst part of The Office. He nearly ruined We're The Millers. I hate to see him sing. Why should I have expected him to do anything but disgrace the Vacation franchise?
The original movies had a goofy sweetness that was mixed with some occasional weird vulgarity. This reboot was a mass of crude vulgarity mixed with a tiny dash of goofy sweetness that didn't ring close to true.
Dick jokes. Vagina jokes. Masturbation jokes. Rim job jokes. Glory hole jokes. None of that had a place in the Chevy Chase Vacation pantheon. That's all this film was.
I should have known to turn it off when the opening credits rolled over a song that said the word "motherfucker" about a dozen times and when the very first scene included a gag about giving oral sex to a child (as well as an f-bomb from the son of Tom Hanks).
By the time the movie had shitted, fucked, dicked, pussied, whored, and masturbated its way to a shockingly bad cameo from Chevy and Beverly all I had was contempt for this wrong-headed attempt to revive the franchise.
Everything that made the original Vacation movies classics was bastardized and smeared by a string of unnecessary profanity and vulgarity. It was a real shame and I'm sorry I saw it.
Spotlight was very good. Cast was strong: Michael Keaton, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Liev Schreiber, Billy Crudup, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams.
Kind of shocking, in a Pedo State way, how many people were in on the cover-up. Some actively participated and some just turned their heads. The standard line was, "Look at all the good the church does for the city."
The scope and massive, systemic shuffling of these predators is pretty shocking.
You know the final news article the main characters produce, but watching them get there is worth the ride. Well acted, well paced...very good movie.
Also has a great moral to the story. If not for those great, vigilant jounralists - how much longer would those abuses have went on , or at minimum stayed a secret? Scary.
Big one coming out to review. You know, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Krampus
Christmas movie mixed with a dash of horror.
Think Gremlins, but darker and more malevolent.
The cast was good, the story was adequate, the mix of humor and horror was on target. I enjoyed it more than I probably should have. Will watch it again next Christmas.
Really looking forward to the movies this weekend. Big one coming out to review. You know, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
It's always been hard for me to take Kurt Russell seriously. Too many Disney type roles in his early years. He stepped it up a notch here. Played the late 1800's hard ass to a tee.
Is worth seeing for Leonardo's performance and the cinematography/setting. But bring a snack and something with caffeine in it.
Star Wars was sold out. Decided at the last minute on The Hateful Eight. Would not have gone if I knew it was a Tarantino film. Didn't realize until we got in there. Scumbag cop hater can die in a fire as soon as possible. Fuck him with a goat aids infected cattle prod. Now, to the movie. Not a spoiler...just an overview of the plot.
It's a "western" set in the hills of Wyoming with 90% of it played out in one huge room, a general store where all 8 characters get stranded during a blizzard. Samuel L. Jackson and Kurt Russell play two bounty hunters trying to get their kills/catches to Red Rock to collect their cash. Russell's bounty is a girl, (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who he is trying to get to Red Rock for a hanging. The 8, including one of my all time favorites, Bruce Dern, play out a mystery of who dunnit..who's siding with who...who is going to get out of this alive...or not. Played out in 6 chapters. Loved every one.
The positive: Funny as hell. Countless one liners from several characters that had me and the entire audience bent over laughing. Jackson is awesome. Delivers non-stop, whether it's comedy or gruesomely deep, morbid story telling. Saw numerous commercials for this. Thought I saw a cameo by Walton Goggins. Fuck sake, he almost stole the show. Was a close second to Jackson in delivering the side splitting line and being the focus of the whole show. Damn fine and underrated actor. The guy is long overdue for some lead roles. It's always been hard for me to take Kurt Russell seriously. Too many Disney type roles in his early years. He stepped it up a notch here. Played the late 1800's hard ass to a tee.
The negative: I saw a write up that said 'black" was said 65 times in the film. I think they mis-counted, Look, I'm the farthest thing from politically correct you'll ever see. But it was clear they were intentionally putting it in there for effect and honestly, it got real old. The same with the graphic blood scenes. Waaaayyyy over the top. Jennifer Jason Leigh's character stayed covered in blood in one form or another for the entire film. Completely unnecessary. Over the top graphic on blowing people's heads off.
Overall, very entertaining film. My 15 year old was with me but I took a chance and snuck him in to a Super R film. He knew it was over the top but the comedy effect was worth the risk. Just be prepared for mega cussing, mucho negro and new ways to splatter blood and brain matter.
Agree with you on all points except the last two. Those are QT signatures, you had to know that was coming when you entered the theater. Debate the merits of the language and gore, but they are his personal signature.It's in my top 3 of QT Movies, I loved it.
Thoroughly enjoyed this movie.
It's in my top 3 of QT Movies, I loved it.
I think the two pieces of wood was strictly for comedy. Every time someone new walked in, everybody in the house was yelling over each other. It got funnier each time and we started waiting for the chorus every time someone opened the door.
The Forest
Once again violating one of my main rules, I tried a PG-13 horror movie. Once again, I was reminded of why I made that rule in the first place.
Stupid. Inane. Boring. Pointless. Dull. Dumb. Awful.
I've seen worse movies. I've seen movies that were way worse than this one, actually. But this was an incredibly mind-numbing drone of banality.
Don't waste your time.
Why don't we just get in that running car?
Are you crazy? Let's hide behind those chainsaws.
Question (WITH SPOILERS):
The need to nail the door shut (with two pieces of wood!) was never explained, was it? The door worked fine when the "four passengers" arrived at Minnie's. Then calamity was unleashed upon Minnie, et al, but the door was never affected. When did the door hardware get fucked up?
Also, thought it was great that QT worked in the classic Red Apple cigs.
Yes Bob shot out the door when the black guy stumbles in from putting the horses away. He hits him in the shoulder and the door closes but Bob keeps firing and blows the lock off.
Mad Max: Fury Road
This review will be written using lines from the movie uttered by Max.
No No No.
Unh, Hrm. Grrrr. Unh. Ugh.
The end.
Translation: Meh? It would have to crawl across the Sahara to reach up to meh. Maybe I was high when I tried to watch it, but it was like a really dumb Cannonball Run if Burt Reynolds was a bald girl and the Sheriff wore a Halloween mask.
Eleven kinds of terrible.
I don't understand how anyone could rave over Mad Max Fury Road. It was hot garbage, unintelligible and just a string of ridiculous scenes strung together for the sole sake of creating faux mayhem. Little story, less exposition and just a lengthy parade of carnage for no reason. Bleh.
On to...
Sicario
This movie had some great components and some that were dreadful. As a result it lost the power it could have and hurt itself at the box office. It did fair largely due to some soft competition (Pan which flopped, Hotel Transylvania 2 which sucked even for kids, The Intern which further pussified Don Corleone). But it didn't resonate like it could have.
On the whole I enjoyed the movie. It kept me entertained and there were some extreme moments that really should have evoked shock or something. But the pacing struggled so that the "oh shit" events lacked that sting.
Let's start with the dreadful.
1) The Name. Sicario. It's not an automatic draw. It's a spanish word that means hitman. But you'd have to know that to look at movie listings and go "yeah, I want to watch that." So pffft on the name.
2) The story. There were gaps, there were holes, there were unexplained connections, unlikely actions and reactions. It needed to be cleaned up a little and tightened in places. For instance there was some alleged connection between Emily Blunt's character and her partner. It was never fleshed out and in the final denoument didn't matter. It was a waste and his character could have been omitted entirely without changing the film in any real way. He was extraneous and needed to be chopped. So too was this entire arc of a somewhat corrupt cop. I understand what it was supposed to represent, but it took up too much screen time.
3) Emily Blount. She's a cute thing, but does not have the gravitas or the acting chops to pull off the role of a hardened FBI assault team member turned task force semi-bad ass. Her response to the overwhelming nature of the role was reduced to making dour "I need to take a shit" faces, looking doe-eyed and confused, grimacing, moping, acting bitchy and talking without moving her mouth. She was terrible. I read recently that there are talks of a sequel and if there is one, she will not be a part of it. Good move. She was hideously bad here.
Now the good:
1) Cinematography was outstanding. The way shots were framed was fantastic. Excellent job making the film look and feel right. The way some of the transitions were filmed was creative and spot on. Really good job with the tone of the movie.
2) Benicio Del Toro. I'm not really a major fan of his work and think he's highly overrated for what he brings to the table, but here he was extremely good. The writers gave him a character who had no soul (or at least had it removed) and also provided him a scene that should have been a topic of much discussion and consternation. The fact that it wasn't speaks to the flat effect of the movie that was due in part to Blunt's dulling performance. De Toro's character had no remorse and displayed that in a way that should have been brutally shocking. I'm surprised I heard nobody mention that scene (or this movie) at all.
3) Josh Brolin. Pretty good as a loose-cannon CIA-type. Numerous other actors (Downey, McBongohey, Harrellson, etc.) would have fit the bill but Brolin held his own.
It's a shame that the name (in my opinion), Blunt's numbing performance and a wobbling story that kept the major plot points from having the impact they should derailed what could have been a truly outstanding film. Not that I didn't enjoy it, I did, but it just left me thinking how much better it could have been.
Fuck me. I agree with Kaos almost whole-heartedly in a movie post.Love Franky 4 Fingers
Max was devastatingly disappointing and I agree with your take on Sicario (less and except the take on Del Toro...love that guy).
Love Franky 4 Fingers
Ride Along 2
Innocuous. That's about the best word. Kevin Hart does his familiar schtick. Ice Cube snarls and growls. I like Ice but he's not much of an actor.
They get into improbable situations. They get out of improbable situations. There are some mildly amusing moments, only a few gags really remotely laugh inducing. Then it careens to its inevitable conclusion.
It's formulaic. It's harmless.
The money the Furious franchise has generated worldwide is staggering. Many billions.
But so is the dumb. Yes?
Absolutely.
So you can't solve the worlds problems with fast cars? Damn!
I was thinking meat lovers pizza for lunch, but I think now I'll just have the soup.
I was thinking meat lovers pizza for lunch, but I think now I'll just have the soup.Happy Tuesday to you!
Good lord.
Kaos, have you watched Dear Zakary?
Excellent choice, Jumbs.It's a must see.
Daddy's Home
Bored on a Saturday afternoon so me and mini decided to check it out. Went in with low expectations. Will Ferrell flicks are so hit and miss. The trailer pretty much tells the story. Ferrell plays the wimpy step dad and Wahlberg, the ex, shows up and they compete for hot wife/ex-wife. First 30 minutes were filled with extreme meh. However, it wound up being a pretty hilarious by movies' end.
Ferrell's character was so over the top wimpy, it made you dislike him. But the situations and some of the gags got better and better as the movie wore on. A trip to the fertility doctor with the doc comparing Ferrell's and Wahlberg's junk, was damn funny. Referred to Wahlberg's perfectly shaped, enormous balls as twin Patrick Stewarts. Thomas Haden Church and Hannibal Buress really helped pick up the comedy level.
I am also hoping they bring Cosmo, the Russian space dog, back in the sequel. :fu:
The Boy
Always looking for a good horror movie. Always breaking my own "PG-13 is going to suck" rule.
This was PG-13. While it didn't exactly suck, it meandered to the end, packing the only real action into the final ten minutes, long after you've lost interest.
Maggie from Walking Dead (can't decide if she's super hot or not) carries this film as an American escaping an abusive relationship by taking a job as a nanny at an English manor. No explanation of how she learned of the odd job, the film opens with her already on the way.
She meets a friendly neighborhood grocer who immediately begins to make moves on her. She meets the elderly family that owns the manner. And she meets their precocious, mischevious eight-year old son. Who just happens to be a doll.
Is the house haunted? Is the doll alive? Are the old couple insane? All is revealed -- slowly -- and some of it just doesn't make sense.
Maggie's (I think her name in the movie was Greta) turn from disbelief to absolute conviction was a little abrupt, as was her "I want you -- no I don't -- yes I do -- no I don't" pecking with the friendly grocery boy.
A really dumb sidebar about the abusive ex-boyfriend led to the final denouement, but I could have done without his leaden and off-key performance. He was completely out of place in the film. Could have gotten to the same place without him.
Not going to spoil it for the one or two of you who may decide to go see this or download it or whatever. The eventual reveal wasn't something I expected, but it actually created more questions than it answered. It made the movie dumber due to the events leading up to it.
Maggie doesn't get close to naked, if that's of any concern. I have heard that Walking Dead's Beth does in some other movies, but I haven't seen it.
Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj
huh?(http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/dvdboxart/162525/p162525_d_v8_ab.jpg)
Snagette: Know what we're doing tonight?
Snags: What
Going to a movie
What movie?
The Choice
What's The Choice?
A Nicolas Sparks film
Aww HELL no!
You have no choice. Now grab my purse and let's go.
Ooohhh do I have to?
Shut up and get in the truck.
If you've never been subjected to a uterus flick by Nicolas Sparks....run and hide if your woman suggests it. The only up side? Pretty funny dialogue. Incredible scenery set in the low country of presumably, South Carolina. Not a half bad first hour. Then....it happens. The thing I had always heard about with Nicolas Sparks stories. You go from sappy love story to.....a coma. Depression. Sawdust falling constantly from the ceiling into your eyes. Asking yourself how in the Sam Freaking Hell could I be tearing up in this stupid movie I don't even want to be at? It's dark. Wipe your eyes where no one will notice. Promise yourself you'll stick a fork in your own thigh if you start it again during the next scene. Oh hell, here it goes again.
The Choice. That's my review.
Burn your man card.
The Choice
the skirt: leaving at 8 with Jane to see The Choice.
nook: have fun. kids get ready for bed...dad and the dog are watching Band of Brothers - Points
10:30 Nook: How was the movie?I'm gonna have to watch that bullshit soon :facepalm:
Skirt: Fine (Door slams)
Nook gets blanket from closet and curls up with dog.
10:30 Nook: How was the movie?
Skirt: Fine (Door slams)
Nook gets blanket from closet and curls up with dog.
I'm gonna have to watch that bullshit soon :facepalm:
He likes his wife....he loves the dog.
Didn't see one for 13 Hours.
Helluva movie. Shows how shitty the great ONE's administration really is!
The Revenant
First the good. The movie is stunning visually. It makes you feel every ache, every frozen breath. DiCaprio -- one of the best actors of our time -- is really good, acting for much of the movie with little more than his eyes.
The weasel or otter or whatever tom hardy has on his head. Liked that.
Now the bad.
The movie is far too long. It clocks in at 2:40 when the story could easily have been compellingly completed in half that. There are entire arcs and characters that are superfluous. Some actually detract from the story. Some were made up by the director entirely in the name of creative license when the "real" story was probably the better one. It just dragged and dragged layering one improbable misery on top of another. Just too much extraneous scenery snd story.
Tom Hardy. What the fuck is the attraction with this guy? In every movie I've ever seen him he affects some mumbling out-of-place accent that should require subtitles. Batman. Mad max. Lawless. No idea what he's saying half the time in the dumbass accent he picks. No different here. Says something in s weird accent. Makes a face. Pouts. Fucking sucks. He's terrible.
Is worth seeing for Leonardo's performance and the cinematography/setting. But bring a snack and something with caffeine in it.
The Witch and the new Jesse Owens movie both come out this weekend. Have guarded optimism for both. Hope they do not disappoint.Can't take Jason Suckdickass seriously. He is going to ruin that one. The previews make me not want to watch it because of him. In the previews it appears he's playing the gum-snapping douchebag guy from SNL.
Can't take Jason Suckdickass seriously. He is going to ruin that one. The previews make me not want to watch it because of him. In the previews it appears he's playing the gum-snapping douchebag guy from SNL.
The Witch? Never heard of it nor seen a trailer for it. So there's that.
Can't take Jason Suckdickass seriously. He is going to ruin that one. The previews make me not want to watch it because of him. In the previews it appears he's playing the gum-snapping douchebag guy from SNL.
The Witch? Never heard of it nor seen a trailer for it. So there's that.
The Witch is getting a shitload of hype.
I'll see the Jesse Owens one just cause I like Jesse Owens. I'll try and ignore sudackass
I see a movie almost every weekend. I'm a horror fanatic. And yet I've never heard anything about this movie or seen a trailer or seen a preview poster.
Go see deadpool. Forget the witch.
Well Jason Sudakis as a black man is a hard sell.
You betta pump ya brakes boy
(http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/4400000/Robert-in-Tropic-Thunder-robert-downey-jr-4499954-720-480.jpg)
Deadpool was great. I'm a Reynolds fan, so no surprise to me that he killed this role. Take his fast talking, smart ass character from Waiting and give him badass fighting skills (and ramp up the swearing to 11) and you get a sense of the Deadpool character.
TJ Miller was perfect in his minor role.
Laugh out loud funny through most of the film, killer action sequences and lots of 4th wall destruction.
Go see this movie.
Crimson Peak
Expected a horror movie. Got a few weird ghostly pop-ups most of which were in the previews.
The rest of the movie was horrible period outfits, terrible hairdos, dramatic music and knowing glances (leers) between the earnest cast.
The back story about some ridiculous attempt to mine crimson clay from under a sagging house added nothing to the film and actually caused it to drag out longer than it should.
The "shocker" wasn't really shocking at all given the long leers and assorted whispered comments.
I didn't hate it, but it was more puff than substance. More a chance for Jessica Chastain to give up on even trying a british accent while grumping around in heavy victorian garb, more a chance for Loki to smirk, and more a chance for Alice to crawl through a puffy shouldered rabbit hole.
The lead girl was so ugly it was hard to watch. She's a terrible actress and looking at her for that long made my eyes hurt. Her outfits with giant balls of shoulder material were off-putting and annoying. I hope to never see her in another movie again. She was atrocious.
The movie should have decided to be either the story of some swindling con artists trying to keep their family name alive or the story of a really ugly girl trapped in a house with ghosts and boogeys. It needed a more supernatural flair to work as horror. Would have been so much better if Loki or Chastain turned out to be vampires or dead or something. Or if the ghosts had never been part of the mix and it was a straight up story about a pair of sickos who charm people out of their fortunes. Trying to straddle the fence between worlds didn't work.
Not sure if this has been discussed but we watched Black Mass the other night OnDemand. If this movie comes anywhere close to the actual Whitey Bulger story, then this dude really was ruthless. I like Johnny Depp as an actor anyway so it was to me an interested character role. Good movie I thought.
https://youtu.be/9wb6SJHB0l4
I just came here to say what you just said, verbatim. One of the overall funniest movies I've seen in a long time. Sometimes, the constant smart-assedness by certain characters gets old if they can't pull it off or the writing just isn't that good. Reynolds more than pulled it off and the lines were well written and well-timed.I saw it Saturday night. It was the first time in quite a while that I've walked out at the end of a movie not feeling like I'd just been ripped off.
Even the credits before and after were hilarious.
Deadpool was great. I'm a Reynolds fan, so no surprise to me that he killed this role. Take his fast talking, smart ass character from Waiting and give him badass fighting skills (and ramp up the swearing to 11) and you get a sense of the Deadpool character.
TJ Miller was perfect in his minor role.
Laugh out loud funny through most of the film, killer action sequences and lots of 4th wall destruction.
Go see this movie.
Yes. Whitey Bulger was that bad. As ruthless of a gangster that has ever existed.
The Martian
I was really looking forward to seeing this film. I like Matt Damon. I like Michael Pena. I like Sean Bean. I usually like Jessica Chastain. I like Kate Mara.
I wondered why the film was rewarded at the Golden Globes in the Comedy category.
After watching The Martian, I understand.
It was beautifully shot. Made you believe the guy was stranded on Mars. But....
1) The scene of super skinny Matt Damon didn't match his face. He should have been gaunt and it was clear a body double was used. He didn't commit like Christian Bale would have. That was disappointing.
2) Launching with a tarp covering the nose?
3) Iron-Manning through space? C'mon.
4) Grabbing the guy at 90 mph or whatever? Please.
5) The "slingshot around earth" plan? Wasn't that one of Captain Kirk's trademark moves? To go back in time?
6) Once the china rocket came into play, the ridiculously risky and inprobissle turn the ship around rescue wasn't necessary. Send the supply ship and then use the time to prepare a rescue proper.
7) Kick around in the dust in a vast, enormous field desert and come across the one thing you need?
8) Dig up the rover from under all that dirt (impossible to begin with), get the thing dug out deep enough to lift it and THEN get the Pathfinder -- which weighed in at 1,973 pounds -- loaded on his rover? Without a crane at the site? Horseshit.
9) Drive 3500 miles in a rover designed to do 35 miles a day and not run out of food along the way? Bullshit. And then find the needle in the desert haystack without so much as a GPS? Pfaw!
So unrealistic it was funny. Therefore: Comedy.
Yes. I realize that all of those things that irked me could possibly, potentially, maybe work. But not all of them at the same time.
It was faux drama. It pretty much wasted Mara, Bean, Chewing Pettifore (or whatever that black guy with the glasses is called), Jeff Daniels (who portrayed the dumbest head of NASA I've ever seen) and even wasted Chastain and Pena for the most part. They were incidentals, and could have been played by any number of ex Law and Order character actors.
Mackenzie Davis as a NASA employee was an actress that seemed to have much more to offer, but her role was limited.
Kristen Wiig was also a complete bust in her role. Completely ineffective and absolute zero on the screen at all times. Why was she even there? She should have had the big forehead and tiny hands at least.
It's easy to see from my point of view why Leonardo DiCaprio would deserve the Oscar over Matt Damon when you take two films where their singular character carried an enormous amount of the film with little to play against but themselves.
Not saying "don't see The Martian" but saying that if you do see it -- and most of you already have or have already decided not to -- go in expecting the same level of "realism" you'd get from an Avengers movie. It will make it much more palatable.
I don't disagree with much in this review...but I was entertained.
When Damon is first aware of his situation and tells the video-diary that he's going to survive by "science-ing the shit out of it!" I knew I wasn't in for a story that NASA co-wrote.
This was Survivor on Mars. It was at times funny, tense and heartwarming. It wasn't scientifically accurate and it has no place in Oscar discussions (relevant ones, anyway...maybe sets/props/whatever). I like Damon and most of the cast and so I liked their story.
And it was on Mars...which is fun and cool.
Fuck it...it was a couple hours of entertainment that was better than most efforts. I don't think it should win awards.
I was entertained. Damon is that good. Think about this for a minute though.
If Bradley Cooper had been the stranded astronaut? Nick Cage? Chris Pine? Dave Franco? Would you still have been entertained? I don't know that I would have. I think I would have trashed it.
Still don't know why they wasted such big names in essentially throwaway roles.
I was entertained. Damon is that good. Think about this for a minute though.
If Bradley Cooper had been the stranded astronaut? Nick Cage? Chris Pine? Dave Franco? Would you still have been entertained? I don't know that I would have. I think I would have trashed it.
Still don't know why they wasted such big names in essentially throwaway roles.
(https://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/yxUFwfEhIGsTGPz4IJSDv-4b-e0=/0x0:1050x591/1600x900/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/46711910/supermanlives2.0.0.jpg)
Why is the hate so strong with this one? I haven't seen The Martian, but I can guarantee there were no lines delivered that came close to matching:
"Put....the bunny....back....in the box."
I get chills just hearing that in my head.
I see a movie almost every weekend. I'm a horror fanatic. And yet I've never heard anything about this movie or seen a trailer or seen a preview poster.
Go see deadpool. Forget the witch.
Creed
Creed wasn't a bad film, it just rang the same formulaic bell one time too many for me.
The VVITCH
This moving picture be setteth in yon time of long ago where there be things that hath frights in the woods. If thee wisheth to take thy kin to this snoozeth festival prepare thyself for speech unintelligible.
Boooooo. Family gets exiled from Puritan village for reasons not well explained, family gets exposed to ridiculously mild threats in yon woods, tense music ramps up when absolutely nothing is happening and then it ends stupidly.
I had a difficult time understanding anything the family patriarch said what with all the thee-ing and thou-ing and his general tendency to mutter in prayerful supplication. The son was even harder to understand. I would have spent half the movie asking "what did he just say?" if I cared what he had said or if I thought it mattered.
Hated the shrew wife, loathed the fat little kids.
It wasn't scary at all. I hated it as much as I've hated a movie in a long long time.
Do not wasteth thy time.
Thou thinks you are most hard to please unto thee cinema.
If they had spoken plain English you would have complained that it was not accurate. I think you look for things to complain about. It wasn't all that. But wasn't bad either. Although I think most of your review was just spite in re to my comments on the previous page. I get it. People hyped it up. Stephen King hyped it up. You hate that. So you went to see it so you could complain how bad it was and how everyone is stupid. Rinse and repeat...
But of the 4 movies that got rebooted last year (Mad Max, Jurassic Park, Star Wars, and Rocky), I think that it was the best.
(http://www.picgifs.com/clip-art/cartoons/scooby-doo/clip-art-scooby-doo-959006.jpg)
Funny sidebar, The Scooby Doo and Kiss movie has become the stepkids favorite cartoon. It has weaned them off of pup patrol and given me a catalyst to introduce them into rock and roll.
The end will justify the means.
Funny sidebar, The Scooby Doo and Kiss movie has become the stepkids favorite cartoon. It has weaned them off of pup patrol and given me a catalyst to introduce them into rock and roll.
Sidebar:
Reviewed on page 98 of this thread.
(http://s24.postimg.org/ho3f8nret/f5_RBe_B7.png)
The end will justify the means.It's just so bad though that he has to start with such a shitty band.
It's just so bad though that he has to start with such a shitty band.
Saw The Big Short. Interesting presentation and ways of breaking the fourth wall to tell the story.
By the way, iff that is all true, we have failed as a society.
Finally got around to watching this last night. Great movie with an excellent cast (less and except the makeup on Gosling...off-putting).agree
The true story of the fucked-up, masturbatory system that created the housing crisis should be required viewing for all citizens.
My only beef was that they glossed over the characteristics (other than rating) that made the loans "subprime". The mortgage douches that Mark Baum and his crew speak with ("Last year I was a bartender...now I have a boat") touched on the bullshit "underwriting" that their mortgage companies performed, but they missed an opportunity to explain the shitty mortgage products that Countrywide and some of the other egregious offenders offered (ie - negative amortization "pick a payment" loans).
Great movie told from the perspectives of a handful of people that saw the bubble coming...and bet against the American Dream.
10 Cloverfield Lane
Interesting thriller about 3 people in a bunker, sealed off from the world.
The aliens appear at the very end just to make sure there was a connection to JJ Abrams' work.
It was not an IMAX movie, it was not a Cloverfield/alien/monster movie.
It was ok...see it on demand.
My take on ‪Batman v Superman‬:
Mark Zuckerberg fails to get Jesus and Mark Cuban to kill each other. They team up with Jane Pauly & Xena to destroy The Incredible Cloverfield Hulk Monster.
Was a fun enough ride. Not the greatest thing but not bad either.
Zero fun. That was one of my biggest complaints. Zero fun.
I'm watching a few minutes of The Dark Knight right now and despite its flaws, it is so far superior to Dawn of Justice that words cannot do it justice. Dawn is like Zapped! to Dark Knight's Breakfast Club. If DK is a prime rib, DoJ would be a can of stale potted meat. If DK is Jessica Alba, DoJ is Momma June.
The only thing that really keeps DK from being near perfect (except for being too long with too many stories at once)? Maggie Fuglyhall. Lord that creature is difficult to look at. She's hideous. Disgustingly so.
Other than that, everything about DK is exponentially better -- like times 200 better -- than DoJ. Watching this now, I'm stunned at just how miserably Dawn actually failed. It's even worse in hindsight than it was in real time. I'm amending my initial review to rate that Dawn as one of the most disappointing movies ever. It's a great big turkey.
It's also worth noting that the awfulness of DoJ is not related in any way whatsoever to what I thought would sink it - Ben Affleck. He wasn't that bad. With a better director, better script and some better costuming I think he could actually have been one of the best to play the role.
Zac Snyder is the problem. If there is to be a Justice League, he HAS to go. The franchise absolutely cannot be left in his hands. I'm a DC guy at my core. I want that franchise to find its way and rival the power of Marvel. It will flop like a fish on a griddle if he helms the rest.
Nolan-verse movies are far superior to everything Marvel or DC, no argument. Just saying I didn't hate it outright. It was fine considering the heavy-handed subtext (described in my take on it) and I went with the ride. Would I watch it again? Maybe...if it is on Netflix or something and I want some noise in the background while I clean or something.
You had a different opinion and take on it. We must alert the church elders at once.
But instead of just Wonder Woman there are acres of guests -- including one that I wish had not been completely spoiled by the fucking trailer I just saw. Why ruin the reveal?Because it is based on the comics and Spidey has the pivotal role in how everything plays out.
It's called "discussion"
Alert the founding fathers. Tell them that constitution thing works pretty well when liberals aren't twisting it.
The irony in this ^^
The Babadook
Batman v Superman: Dawn of JusticeI had no hopes for this movie from the get-go
First let me preface this by saying I'm a borderline obsessed batnerd. Batman is by far my favorite comic character of all time. I've got a Batman comic collection that dates back now to the late 50s. There's a small bat-sticker somewhere on every car I've ever owned. I'm able to appreciate every bat incarnation on the big and small screen to a degree. Adam West, Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney, Bale and now Affleck all brought something different to the table with varying degrees of success. At this point I think Keaton probably made the best Bruce Wayne and Bale (minus the stupid voice) probably makes the best Batman. But I'm not even sure about that.
What I am sure about is that Affleck was not the best Batman, nor was he the best Bruce Wayne. But he wasn't always the worst either. I was so unnerved by his casting that I expected him to bomb in a big way. That he didn't is about the best I can say.
And now the movie. I'm sure many of you will like it. I've now seen it and it wasn't horrible, but I have no interest in seeing it again. It missed so many marks and cracked under it's own weight in innumerable places.
What a plodding, ponderous, mangled mish mash of a handful of stories. The director was so ham-handed, so mechanically driven that the heart of the story simply didn't exist.
__________________________
Here there be spoilers......
__________________________
Among the myriad problems:
1) The run time. The movie (with the 15 previews that came before it) started at 9:30 and let out at 12:18. There just wasn't enough meat to carry the story for that length of time so it bogged down terribly in a number of places. There were too many pointless threads that meandered nowhere. The director really is a hack. By the time it got to the Batmanning and Supermanning, many in our crowd had mentally checked out.
2) Amy Adams was mind-numbingly horrible. Every second she was on the screen was an absolute waste.
3) As bad as Amy Adams was, Holly Hunter was exponentially worse. Dreadful. Her motives were never clear, her stances were left unexplained and her death was welcome.
4) Eisenberg. Maybe he'll grow into it in the future, but his frenetic bopping simply is NOT Lex Luthor. And you'd think that a movie that ran close to three hours would have been able to rationally explain his Superman loathing. But it didn't. Complete fail. Oh, it hinted at it here and there, but the root of his animus was never successfully explored.
5) Batman. Yes, I know the current trend is to portray him as a morose and brooding bitch, but that's not all he is (or should be). There was the obligatory training scene where Affleck got to show off his muscles, but his Batman was unconvincing in the fight sequences. Not nimble or agile enough. And guns, bullets, brands, murder... That's not Batman either. The Bat is not a murderous brute, bulling through the city with tanks, rockets and machine guns.
6) Did I mention the director sucked? Two (no, actually three) dream sequences that muddied the plot. Fucking dream sequences. Grrrr.
7) Location, location, location. I've always envisioned Gotham as being New York and Metropolis as being Boston or Chicago or LA or something. Or even vice versa. This fucked up movie is trying to tell me that the two are fucking ACROSS A BAY FROM EACH OTHER? And that the fucking Bat Signal can be SEEN FROM METROPOLIS? No fucking way. Bullshit. Idiotic. That Batman and Superman exist on two peninsulas separated by a sliver of water? And that Batman rarely strays into Metropolis to fuck up Luthor or any of Superman's problems and Superman never drifts across to help with Joker, Clayface, Riddler, Catwoman, Penguin, Twoface, etc. etc. etc? That's lunacy. If any one thing ruined this movie, that was it.
8) Not enough exposition or explanation. Again, three hours, but so much was left in a muddy mess. Way too much was left just hanging out there for no reason. Why? Why? Why? If Superman can hear Lois fart from half a world away, how come he couldn't hear his mother screaming when she was kidnapped? Was his Super bathtub boner getting in the way?
9) Stupidity. Example: So Batman and Superman fight and Batman's got this spear that he hides somewhere so he can use it in the end. And they crash through block after block of buildings, rooftops, walls, and who knows fuck all. But when he gets Superman down? Why there's that fucking spear, right where he must have left it, within easy reach. The fuck? How could he possibly have planned to have the damn thing just sitting right there? That was one. I could list 50 more but won't.
10) All of a sudden everybody knows who everybody is. Well hey, Clark. What's up Bruce. Everybody in the world has it figured out. Like literally 20 people in this movie. So why even fuck with the masks and fake jobs? Jeez.
11) Wonder Woman setup. Oh, hey, look! That's Chris Pine in the old photo of Wonder Woman! I bet that would make a good origin movie! Could they be ANY more clunk-fuckingly obvious?
12) Doomsday. Eh. Kid behind me wanted to know why King Kong was fighting Batman. Just not well rendered. The story could have been told so much better without that big explosion-laden distraction tacked on to the end.
13) Oh hey! There's Aquaman. And Flash! Ohhh! Cyborg! All clumsily revealed. And where's Green Lantern? Oh, that's right. He's Deadpool now and mocking himself.
14) Superman period. It's hard to get the character right. This guy does as good as anybody I guess, but I just don't care for him or his story at all. He's the Captain America (which Marvel does better) to Batman's Tony Stark-Ironman (which Marvel also does exponentially better).
15) No self awareness. What I like about the Marvel movies is that they are almost completely self aware. They inject just enough humor to remind us that we are supposed to be having fun watching the most improbable bunch of freaks save the world in the most violent and explosive way. Hell, even the first Transformers got that right. Batman v Superman is a relentlessly dark movie. No fun allowed. That makes it much harder to connect with the characters. Why should you care what happens to either of them, really? And what's to fear from lightweight Jesse E? The movie needed a better director.
16) The Dark Knight Returns. Great comic series by Frank Miller that told the story of an older Batman coming out of a forced/negotiated retirement because the city was near out of control. The government (a thinly veiled Ronald Reagan, actually) sends Superman to take him out. Cue epic fight, some masterful bat trickery and a satisfying ending. This movie borrowed pieces of that. The bat suit for the showdown is almost a carbon copy of the one Miller drew up for the comic. So, too is the bulkier batman frame, the fatter bat logo and the much shorter bat ears (believe it or not, ear length is a significant touchstone in bat history. This alteration is a major change from the ears that had gotten longer and longer through Clooney). But whoever did this story didn't take all of Miller's story. Yeah, there was a kryponite weapon, but in the book Green Arrow had it. And Batman did have his foot on Superman's throat. But there wasn't the absolutely ASININE moment of ... "Wait, did you say Martha? Oh hell, my mom's name is Martha too! Dang bitch, I guess I should stop trying to kill your ass and we can just partner up and be all cool together. Man, if you'd just told me her name was Martha, all this seething rage I've been building up for years would have gone away. Martha. Be damned. Her name, too, huh?" My daughter actually blurted out "What the Faaahhhh" when he turned that fast for no good reason.
17) Fishburne. I'm still mad at that racist bastard from his work in Boyz in the Hood. He can kiss my ass.
18) The score. Teeth achingly bad, beat you over the head music. Relentless, pointless pounding. Absolutely worthless.
19) Terrible director. Have I mentioned that? As he has the Justice League contract, I have no hope for that at all. It’s going to suck beyond all imagination and probably kill the super hero genre for the remainder of my natural life.
20) No cohesive focus. Why were Batman and Superman really pissed at each other? Do we know? Do we care? Why jam in the electro monster? And Wonder Woman? The movie would have been so much if it had just taken two hours to compare and contrast the ways Batman and Superman effect their own brands of justice and then set up some legitimate beef between the two that demanded a violent resolution. If it had told the story of each of their relationships with the public maybe. Instead, we got this.
So after all that, would I suggest that you go see the movie? Sure. I actually didn't hate it, but I want so much from a Batman movie that this just left me meh. It wasn't great, it wasn't awful. I will never watch it again. But now I'm definitely not enthused about any Justice League movie and I probably won't do Aquaman, Wonder Woman or Flash. I probably won't even do CA: Civil War. I'm sick of the trailers for that.
I had no hopes for this movie from the get-go
I read your review before I watched it, it actually made me more optimistic towards watching it.
You were waaaay too kind in your review.
This was a horrible turd of a movie.
(https://rockytoppoliticsdotcom1.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/flaming-dog-poop.jpg)
In what way did you draw optimism from my review?You weren't harsh ENOUGH maybe?
I hope DC has the sense to throw this exercise out and reboot again before continuing with Justice League.
You weren't harsh ENOUGH maybe?
VERY disappointed in this one.
^^Pretty much ^^. Also the point in which you said you didn't hate it, gave me hope.
I hated it, it takes a lot for me to hate a movie....that was fucking worse than.....yes I'm going to say it.....Caddyshack 2
^^Pretty much ^^. Also the point in which you said you didn't hate it, gave me hope.
I hated it, it takes a lot for me to hate a movie....that was fucking worse than.....yes I'm going to say it.....Caddyshack 2
Mrs. Esterhouse will not be pleased
Has there ever been a movie request for a review? Kaos I want you to review this.
https://youtu.be/fz_TIl_TgpY
Has there ever been a movie request for a review? Kaos I want you to review this.
Steven Seagal=Failure
Steven Seagal=FailureMissed the point: That is the greatness of it.
Missed the point: That is the greatness of it.
Snaggle would you give us your review of Keanu after you see it tonight?
I saw it last night. He was selected 16th by the Falcons. Big hitter that boy is.Don't lie...you know you gonna see it, those are your boys.
Don't lie...you know you gonna see it, those are your boys.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_zLEi_Sk3Y
No one saw cap'n amurrica this weekend? Color me shocked.
Keanu
You know those Saturday Night Live skits they turn into movies that were great for 180 seconds on SNL but become interminable when stretched to 90 minutes for a film?
This was a little like that.
It took a number of Key and Peele standards, mashed them together and tried to cobble an entire movie out of it. There just wasn't enough material to sustain the film. And even at that, it was way too long. Could and should have ended a couple of times before it finally lurched to a stop.
The difference between the majority of the SNL-based movies and this one is that Key and Peele are actually talented. They have enough screen presence to support the flimsy (and really sort of silly) premise.
There are a few good moments, a laugh or two here and there (far more laughs here than Ride Along 2) and a single thin gag stretched out over far too long.
I know they've done a ton of supporting work (more so Key than Peele) and they've proved more than adequate in those supporting roles. If they're going to transition to leading roles on the big screen they're going to need much stronger material than this.
i did but the title of the thread says it all.
True. But never stopped anyone before. I think he kind of likes it. How else would his thread be 108 pages long by now without our expert opinions and insults?You smell
You smell
No one saw cap'n amurrica this weekend? Color me shocked.
barbershop 3
It was the only one playing at the exact time I wanted to go, so why not. I like ice cube. I generally like his movies. They are silly but fun. They aren't great but if you go into them just expecting a decent movie with a few laughs, and nothing more - they are nice to watch. This one follows the same path as the first two except it's ten years later. crime is up, and Calvin is bothered by it. His son is a teenager now and the crime and gang violence is now affecting him directly. Long story short, Calvin and the folks at the barbershop try to solve the issue themselves on the streets of south Chicago. It's a mix of kumbaya, social justice warrior, some funny bits, a few hilarious characters and a happy ending. Just like the first two. Again, decent and funny for what it is. Nothing spectacular.
Did you get your black card stamped?
You know it.
I'm like one of the Homies now.
High 5, my nurra.
Herrrr it be. Sho nuff
Hey... knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!
Hey... knock a self a pro, Slick! That gray matter backlot perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in', man!
The Jungle Book
Disney's 1967 version of The Jungle Book is my all time favorite animated film. I love the movie and don't care that portions of it were recycled in their entirety in Robin Hood (which I also liked). I loved the movie so much I had stuffed versions of Baloo, Bagheera and Louie when I was a kid. I still have Baloo.
So it was with no small trepidation that I finally agreed to go see the new live action version tonight.
I wish I'd seen it sooner.
I expected to be put off by the CGI because the trailer made it look a little spotty. Nope. It was 1000% amazing. Easy to believe every one of the creatures was real. Immersed in the characters and the setting.
I expected to be disappointed in the story changes. Nope. It retained enough of the heart of the animated version to be properly reverent to it, but differed in enough ways to keep it interesting and entertaining.
I expected to lose focus when Bill Murray did the voice of Baloo. Bill Murray, you know. Nope. Within a line or two he became Baloo and I forgot Murray was behind it.
Shere Khan was outstanding. Scary ass tiger rendered expertly and voiced by Idris Elba who oozed menace.
Mowgli was also pretty amazing. How that kid performed like he did against essentially nothing? Fantastic job by the director.
Which brings me to the director. I should have known that the film I loved from my childhood wasn't going to be shit on when I saw Jon Favreau directed it. Favreau has a really good touch.
It's worth seeing in the theaters no doubt.
(http://img.lum.dolimg.com/v1/images/gallery_thejunglebook2016_sherekhan_fe66a378.jpeg?region=0%2C0%2C1087%2C635)
Amazing movie. Maybe it wasn't necessarily "needed" and I was one of those who was aggravated when the movie was announced, but I can't complain after seeing it. The movie didn't detract from my memories and it stands on its own just fine.
I took my sons to see it. Expected it to horrible and for Hollywood to ruin it. Felt the same as you when I left.
He gained 65 pounds for the role because "he wanted to look different than Gosling" and then lost it after the filming wrapped. Who does that? Does he not know how hard it is for normal people to do shit like that?People who have personal chefs and personal trainers and have nothing to do except work-out while down between movie roles.
Conjuring 2
The horror genre has become stale and formulaic. This film is a prime example. The third installment in the Conjuring franchise (Annabelle was the middle piece) follows Ed and horse face as they slowly, slowly, slowly, slowly unravel a case of alleged demonic possession/haunting in England.
Some poorly done makeup, some seen-it-before jump scares, some levitation, some growly voices.... the movie clocked in at 2:13 but felt six times longer.
Horror is bad right now. It's just not being done well and this James Wan guy who directed it along with Blum House which backed it are the main culprits. They keep churning out warmed over mumbo jumbo, throw in a few shrieks and moans, have the boogey man appear out of nowhere and call it good. There's so little thought, so little effort into truly engaging the audience and unleashing psychological scares as opposed to some fuck jumping out and shouting boo. You never really get a good look at the baddies, it's always a flicker quick shot. I'd so much rather the camera linger on whatever horrific beast is being portrayed.
The movie dragged and dragged. I damn sure didn't need to see Patrick Wilson croon an entire Elvis song. After all that buildup, the final confrontation with the so-called demon was abrupt and anti climactic. Not to mention silly.
But why should they bother doing better? The theater was almost completely full. It's going to make ass bags of money.
Speaking of that, people ruin the moviegoing experience. Absolutely ruin it.
Behind us there was a bawling woman who "wuz saavin theum seeeets" for a party of 15. When they finally got there they were obnoxiously loud and amusing only to themselves. Country done come to town.
In front of us was an entire row of black people. Over half of them were on their cell phones throughout the movie. The one in front of me took or made at least six calls during the movie. And when I had the privileged audacity to ask them to please turn off their cell phones, one of them turned and glared at me for a full two minutes and then made a few loud smart ass comments. But she kept her phone put up. The guy making calls just said "pssshhh" and kept right on.
There were three kids on the row holding the seats for the entire group that wandered in toward the end of the previews and then they all got up and walked out during the final scenes.
I need my own theater.
13 Hours
Hillary Clinton should be in prison. What difference does it make? Fuck that ragged whore.
Nuke the middle east.
Thus ends the review.
What difference does it make why it happened?
What difference does it make what we call these terrorist attacks?
I see a trend.
It makes a huge difference. I wanna see this movie now.
Movie was very careful not to implicate her. But it's there. If you know the story, you know what she did.
What difference does it make why it happened?
What difference does it make what we call these terrorist attacks?
I see a trend.
It makes a huge difference. I wanna see this movie now.
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
First let me preface this by saying I'm a borderline obsessed batnerd. Batman is by far my favorite comic character of all time. I've got a Batman comic collection that dates back now to the late 50s. There's a small bat-sticker somewhere on every car I've ever owned. I'm able to appreciate every bat incarnation on the big and small screen to a degree. Adam West, Keaton, Kilmer, Clooney, Bale and now Affleck all brought something different to the table with varying degrees of success. At this point I think Keaton probably made the best Bruce Wayne and Bale (minus the stupid voice) probably makes the best Batman. But I'm not even sure about that.
What I am sure about is that Affleck was not the best Batman, nor was he the best Bruce Wayne. But he wasn't always the worst either. I was so unnerved by his casting that I expected him to bomb in a big way. That he didn't is about the best I can say.
And now the movie. I'm sure many of you will like it. I've now seen it and it wasn't horrible, but I have no interest in seeing it again. It missed so many marks and cracked under it's own weight in innumerable places.
What a plodding, ponderous, mangled mish mash of a handful of stories. The director was so ham-handed, so mechanically driven that the heart of the story simply didn't exist.
__________________________
Here there be spoilers......
__________________________
Among the myriad problems:
1) The run time. The movie (with the 15 previews that came before it) started at 9:30 and let out at 12:18. There just wasn't enough meat to carry the story for that length of time so it bogged down terribly in a number of places. There were too many pointless threads that meandered nowhere. The director really is a hack. By the time it got to the Batmanning and Supermanning, many in our crowd had mentally checked out.
2) Amy Adams was mind-numbingly horrible. Every second she was on the screen was an absolute waste.
3) As bad as Amy Adams was, Holly Hunter was exponentially worse. Dreadful. Her motives were never clear, her stances were left unexplained and her death was welcome.
4) Eisenberg. Maybe he'll grow into it in the future, but his frenetic bopping simply is NOT Lex Luthor. And you'd think that a movie that ran close to three hours would have been able to rationally explain his Superman loathing. But it didn't. Complete fail. Oh, it hinted at it here and there, but the root of his animus was never successfully explored.
5) Batman. Yes, I know the current trend is to portray him as a morose and brooding bitch, but that's not all he is (or should be). There was the obligatory training scene where Affleck got to show off his muscles, but his Batman was unconvincing in the fight sequences. Not nimble or agile enough. And guns, bullets, brands, murder... That's not Batman either. The Bat is not a murderous brute, bulling through the city with tanks, rockets and machine guns.
6) Did I mention the director sucked? Two (no, actually three) dream sequences that muddied the plot. Fucking dream sequences. Grrrr.
7) Location, location, location. I've always envisioned Gotham as being New York and Metropolis as being Boston or Chicago or LA or something. Or even vice versa. This fucked up movie is trying to tell me that the two are fucking ACROSS A BAY FROM EACH OTHER? And that the fucking Bat Signal can be SEEN FROM METROPOLIS? No fucking way. Bullshit. Idiotic. That Batman and Superman exist on two peninsulas separated by a sliver of water? And that Batman rarely strays into Metropolis to fuck up Luthor or any of Superman's problems and Superman never drifts across to help with Joker, Clayface, Riddler, Catwoman, Penguin, Twoface, etc. etc. etc? That's lunacy. If any one thing ruined this movie, that was it.
8) Not enough exposition or explanation. Again, three hours, but so much was left in a muddy mess. Way too much was left just hanging out there for no reason. Why? Why? Why? If Superman can hear Lois fart from half a world away, how come he couldn't hear his mother screaming when she was kidnapped? Was his Super bathtub boner getting in the way?
9) Stupidity. Example: So Batman and Superman fight and Batman's got this spear that he hides somewhere so he can use it in the end. And they crash through block after block of buildings, rooftops, walls, and who knows fuck all. But when he gets Superman down? Why there's that fucking spear, right where he must have left it, within easy reach. The fuck? How could he possibly have planned to have the damn thing just sitting right there? That was one. I could list 50 more but won't.
10) All of a sudden everybody knows who everybody is. Well hey, Clark. What's up Bruce. Everybody in the world has it figured out. Like literally 20 people in this movie. So why even fuck with the masks and fake jobs? Jeez.
11) Wonder Woman setup. Oh, hey, look! That's Chris Pine in the old photo of Wonder Woman! I bet that would make a good origin movie! Could they be ANY more clunk-fuckingly obvious?
12) Doomsday. Eh. Kid behind me wanted to know why King Kong was fighting Batman. Just not well rendered. The story could have been told so much better without that big explosion-laden distraction tacked on to the end.
13) Oh hey! There's Aquaman. And Flash! Ohhh! Cyborg! All clumsily revealed. And where's Green Lantern? Oh, that's right. He's Deadpool now and mocking himself.
14) Superman period. It's hard to get the character right. This guy does as good as anybody I guess, but I just don't care for him or his story at all. He's the Captain America (which Marvel does better) to Batman's Tony Stark-Ironman (which Marvel also does exponentially better).
15) No self awareness. What I like about the Marvel movies is that they are almost completely self aware. They inject just enough humor to remind us that we are supposed to be having fun watching the most improbable bunch of freaks save the world in the most violent and explosive way. Hell, even the first Transformers got that right. Batman v Superman is a relentlessly dark movie. No fun allowed. That makes it much harder to connect with the characters. Why should you care what happens to either of them, really? And what's to fear from lightweight Jesse E? The movie needed a better director.
16) The Dark Knight Returns. Great comic series by Frank Miller that told the story of an older Batman coming out of a forced/negotiated retirement because the city was near out of control. The government (a thinly veiled Ronald Reagan, actually) sends Superman to take him out. Cue epic fight, some masterful bat trickery and a satisfying ending. This movie borrowed pieces of that. The bat suit for the showdown is almost a carbon copy of the one Miller drew up for the comic. So, too is the bulkier batman frame, the fatter bat logo and the much shorter bat ears (believe it or not, ear length is a significant touchstone in bat history. This alteration is a major change from the ears that had gotten longer and longer through Clooney). But whoever did this story didn't take all of Miller's story. Yeah, there was a kryponite weapon, but in the book Green Arrow had it. And Batman did have his foot on Superman's throat. But there wasn't the absolutely ASININE moment of ... "Wait, did you say Martha? Oh hell, my mom's name is Martha too! Dang bitch, I guess I should stop trying to kill your ass and we can just partner up and be all cool together. Man, if you'd just told me her name was Martha, all this seething rage I've been building up for years would have gone away. Martha. Be damned. Her name, too, huh?" My daughter actually blurted out "What the Faaahhhh" when he turned that fast for no good reason.
17) Fishburne. I'm still mad at that racist bastard from his work in Boyz in the Hood. He can kiss my ass.
18) The score. Teeth achingly bad, beat you over the head music. Relentless, pointless pounding. Absolutely worthless.
19) Terrible director. Have I mentioned that? As he has the Justice League contract, I have no hope for that at all. It’s going to suck beyond all imagination and probably kill the super hero genre for the remainder of my natural life.
20) No cohesive focus. Why were Batman and Superman really pissed at each other? Do we know? Do we care? Why jam in the electro monster? And Wonder Woman? The movie would have been so much if it had just taken two hours to compare and contrast the ways Batman and Superman effect their own brands of justice and then set up some legitimate beef between the two that demanded a violent resolution. If it had told the story of each of their relationships with the public maybe. Instead, we got this.
So after all that, would I suggest that you go see the movie? Sure. I actually didn't hate it, but I want so much from a Batman movie that this just left me meh. It wasn't great, it wasn't awful. I will never watch it again. But now I'm definitely not enthused about any Justice League movie and I probably won't do Aquaman, Wonder Woman or Flash. I probably won't even do CA: Civil War. I'm sick of the trailers for that.
Secret Life of Pets
Animation over the last 25 years or so (beginning with Little Mermaid and continuing on through Lion King, Shrek, Toy Story, Finding Nemo, etc.) has really raised the bar. Some of those films are as good or better than anything I've ever seen. Lion King, for instance, is a masterpiece in nearly every respect. Visually stunning, intriguing story, fantastic music, amazing voice actors and full of lessons on the nature of life, love, jealousy and greed. Just a magnificent movie.
This one? It might have seen the bar but it never got near it.
The animation was okay, the voices were ehhhh, and the story was flat. For animated films to work they have to do at least some of the following well: Be visually captivating, have strong characters (which require strong character voices), have some inappropriate material that adults find funny but kids aren't sure what they're laughing at or tell a good story. This did none of those things.
I'm not sure kids will even find anything to keep their attention during this movie. It had no shine.
Hateful Eight
Not done watching this yet. Typical Quentin. Very verbose. Violent and gross. Lots of words that polite people don't say.
I like his movies, but they require a level of concentration sometimes of which I'm incapable.
There are levels. Pulp Fiction and the Kill Bills are masterpieces. Reservoir Dogs is right there with them.
From Dusk til Dawn and Django Unchained are just a small notch below.
Inglorious Basterds and Death Proof are several rungs down the ladder.
I like this a little better than IB, but it's not up to Dusk til Dawn standards and it's way, way, way down the line from Pulp Fiction. Not in the same world.
Loved this one. Had to get past the 172 "N-Bombs" in the first 5 minutes, but overall, quite enjoyable.
Why would you have to get past that? I have no problem with naggers.
He's a racist white man lawyer.
Loved this one. Had to get past the 172 "N-Bombs" in the first 5 minutes, but overall, quite enjoyable.
I was advised of my white privilege the other day by one of my clients.
Have you brought action against yourself?
Suicide SquadSaw it last night and this take is spot on. Fun movie overall, but watching Margo's ass was the highlight fo sho.
The reviews are unjustifiably harsh. Still oddly flat, as only DC movies can be apparently, but a fun romp otherwise.
The star of the movie is Margot's ass in tiny blue shorts. It's in nearly every shot. Will Smith was predictably good and Viola Davis plays coldblooded to the hilt.
The Croc guy and the Aussie were throwaway characters, but Diablo was pretty badass.
Leto's Joker was excellent. He'll be (unfairly) compared to Ledger, but that bar will not be reached. Leto played the character as a restrained version of the comic rather than the menacing, subdued Ledger take.
Go see it and have some fun. It's the best DC has offered in a while.
Jack Reacher
Watching it on FX.
:puke:
Why are they making a sequel?
The books
Saw it last night and this take is spot on. Fun movie overall, but watching Margo's ass was the highlight fo sho.Pics?
Pics?(https://giant.gfycat.com/NippyFrigidBunting.gif)
(https://giant.gfycat.com/NippyFrigidBunting.gif)Now I don't have to waste money on another shitty DC storyline.
Now I don't have to waste money on another shitty DC storyline.Perfect
Suicide Squad
Daughters wanted to go. So I gave it a shot.
Batman is my favorite superhero/comic character. Joker is my favorite villain. Harley is my favorite evil sidekick.
Mother of Zod, the DC Universe cannot be salvaged. In the hands of Warner, it's completely tone deaf, gratingly ham-handed, murky, muddled, bloated and asinine.
Zac Snyder has to go. Ben Affleck has to go. Fuck both of those blundering clowns. Their vision for this franchise is suffused with doom.
This could have been the perfect answer to Deadpool -- a perfectly irreverent, self-aware, well-acted, on-target, massively crude film. Instead it was a dingy swirl of horrific performances, moronic storylines, wooden acting, idiotic setups and sloppy execution.
It wasn't as bad as Batman v. Superman, but it lives in the same neighborhood. Bullet points of the good and bad.
1) Harley Quinn: B+. M Robbie is hot and tried really hard to nail the part. Unfortunately the director kept her reined in too much and didn't let her come nearly as unglued as she should. And the backstory was laughably unbelievable and pitifully interjected into the film. Still, she was far and away the best part of the movie.
2) Joker. D-. I didn't care for Leto's take on the clown prince of crime at all. Terribly disappointed. I understand that he didn't want to go Ledger and that Nicholson's version is too clownish to fit the current vibe, but still. Just didn't work for me. I thought it was awful and not true to the character's history.
3) Killer Croc. C-. Really poorly done. Added nothing to the film.
4) Deadshot. C-. Just not enough there, couldn't connect with the character. Will looked like he was sleepwalking through it just to get a payday.
5) Diablo. F. Shiiiiiity execution and the CGI morph had people in our audience laughing.
6) Kitana, Boomerang, Whoever the fuck else? D. Poorly fleshed out characters with little to no purpose.
7) Enchantress. F-. What the fuck was that thing at the end? I kept expecting it to ask Bill Murray to "choose the form of the destuctor."
(http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/981/981717/top-ten-angels-and-demons-20090511025354770-000.jpg)
It was so badly done I heard people laughing out loud at it.
8) The CGI. F. Absolutely terrible. Eye-rollingly bad.
9) Battfleck. F --. Fuck that asshole. I was wrong. He's a shitty Batman.
10) Viola Davis: D. Pathetic. And how the blazing blue hell did she hold on to that stupid cell phone?
11) Rick Flag: F. The guy was spectacularly bad and had any of the rest of it worked, this abysmal performance would have dragged the rest of it down by itself. Astonishingly bad.
12) The climbing dude. F. Waste of a character and just stupid.
There were too many plot holes and inconsistencies to even begin to list them all. The pacing was shitty. The characters just didn't resonate. There was nobody to care about, no reason to give a shit and the setup with the witch and the brother and Zul and Gozer and crossing the streams was monstrously awful.
It was so disappointing to see characters in which I am invested being mishandled and abused in this manner.
So boo. Why can't somebody competent take over the DC Universe and start over from scratch?
I Am Wrath
John Travolta has had a few memorable roles. His turn as Vincent in Pulp Fiction was a brilliant casting choice and director Tarrantino let him do just little enough to be effective. He was fair in Grease and passable in Saturday Night Fever, but mostly for the dancing and not the acting. Okay in Urban Cowboy and got to crush on Glynnis O'Connor (who for some reason I thought was hot in the day) in Bubble Boy.
The rest of his catalog can be rated on the scatological scale. As in how shitty was his performance.
Tragedy spurs Travolta to rampage through the underworld seeking revenge. He's supposed to be some retired bad ass.
This straight to DVD turkey turd helped cement his status alongside Nick Cage as one of the worst actors of our lifetime.
He was absolutely terrible here in a dumb film with a ridiculous plot and contrived setups. Every emotion he tried to portray looked like he was squeezing out a really painful shit. His face looked like it was carved out of dirty wax, his hair was either a bad wig or a terrible job at implants. It was bad. Real bad.
I hated to see L&O SVU's Chris Meloni (an actor I like) bogged down in this swampy, poorly acted mess. He was just as bad as the rest of the hack cast, though. Shame.
Just a thought. Do you really think the bad guys stand around doing soliloquies or do they just shoot the fuck out of you? Because there were at least three soliloquies in this movie. You'd think the bad guys would learn to shoot first and then talk to your dead body.
I Am Wrath
John Travolta has had a few memorable roles. His turn as Vincent in Pulp Fiction was a brilliant casting choice and director Tarrantino let him do just little enough to be effective. He was fair in Grease and passable in Saturday Night Fever, but mostly for the dancing and not the acting. Okay in Urban Cowboy and got to crush on Glynnis O'Connor (who for some reason I thought was hot in the day) in Bubble Boy.
The rest of his catalog can be rated on the scatological scale. As in how shitty was his performance.
Tragedy spurs Travolta to rampage through the underworld seeking revenge. He's supposed to be some retired bad ass.
This straight to DVD turkey turd helped cement his status alongside Nick Cage as one of the worst actors of our lifetime.
He was absolutely terrible here in a dumb film with a ridiculous plot and contrived setups. Every emotion he tried to portray looked like he was squeezing out a really painful shit. His face looked like it was carved out of dirty wax, his hair was either a bad wig or a terrible job at implants. It was bad. Real bad.
I hated to see L&O SVU's Chris Meloni (an actor I like) bogged down in this swampy, poorly acted mess. He was just as bad as the rest of the hack cast, though. Shame.
Just a thought. Do you really think the bad guys stand around doing soliloquies or do they just shoot the fuck out of you? Because there were at least three soliloquies in this movie. You'd think the bad guys would learn to shoot first and then talk to your dead body.
Now You See Me Too
Everything interesting, clever, sly and entertaining that the original Now You See me was has, in this movie, been corrupted and squandered.
It's a complete waste of the talent on hand and a sorry, meandering mishmash of silly storylines and "twists." Lizzie Caplan is cute, but she's not Isla Fischer's equal.
Should have left well enough alone and let the first movie stand on its own.
Sausage Party was a steaming pile of dog shit!I told you this, y u no trust me?
Not sure why you guys went in the first place. Were you curious? Experimenting?
I told you this, y u no trust me?:facepalm:
K, have you seen any of the Purge movies? Curious as to what you think of those.
Liked the first one.
Hated the second one pretty much.
Election Year was much better (save the shootty acting) but not as good as the first
When I travel I like to look up where movies were filmed and if I can, go visit that area. When I was in Rhode Island this summer I went to St. Ann's in Woonsocket where the church scenes were filmed.
The Shallows
Blake Lively is pleasant enough to look at, although that mole under her eye is distracting as hell. The scenery in this movie is beautiful.
That's all there is to recommend this overboiled oceanic turd of a movie. It's absolutely terrible.
Killer shark stalks surfer who has the misfortune of crossing its path. Cuts her off from land and strands her on a rock that grows smaller with the tide.
I like some continuity. This movie had very little. One shot shows calm seas as far as the horizon, the next she's roiling in ten-foot waves. The continued transition between placid seas and soaring waves was unnerving.
This shark bites grown men in half, but shakes her for a few minutes and all she has is a thigh wound. Bad one, but still.
The list of stupid could go on forever. The way the shark was vanquished in the end was ludicrous.
I wanted the shark to win.
Zero stars.
'TitanicShould have watched cinemax. 7 hours of uninterrupted Godfather. Heaven!
I loathe this movie. I hate it as much as I hate Alabama. I hate it because it sucks. I hate it because of some personal associations in my life.
Was forced to endure roughly six hours of this eleven-hour schmaltz fest yesterday. I hate it more now than I did before.
'Titanic
I loathe this movie. I hate it as much as I hate Alabama. I hate it because it sucks. I hate it because of some personal associations in my life.
Was forced to endure roughly six hours of this eleven-hour schmaltz fest yesterday. I hate it more now than I did before.
The Accountant
Jon Berenthal was awesome in this flick. Don't know why he didn't feature more prominently in the advertising.
I honestly didn't know he was even in it.
Not surprising. Kaos you want to kill yourself after watching 9 out of the last 10 movies that you posted, including Titanic. But Madea Hallerween is funny and a good movie, minus the worst acting you've ever seen, horrible budget, & production...but it's so good that you're going to put it in your collection.
Smh
You know how I know you're gay?
Because he listens to the Dave Matthews Band?
Shut that whore mouth, mister. :haha:
You know how I know you're gay?Cause he wants to sit on Bernie Sanders face?
Cause he wants to sit on Bernie Sanders face?
Star Trek: Beyond
Beyond credulity.
Beyond sense.
Beyond silly.
Stole some creature effects from Star Wars. Didn't care for any of that.
Stole the 80s-90s music idea from Guardians of the Galaxy. Boo.
Stole its story from some fanboy's bad dream.
A few good moments here and there marred by a ridiculous storyline, some laughably bad CGI (particularly the motorcycle ride), some forced dialogue, some shoehorned "emotion" and the artificial subtle interjection of Sulu's gayness.
Not a good movie.
Took the kiddos to see Trolls yesterday on the day off school.Music was good
Thought it was much better than Secret Life of Pets and angry birds.
Still nowhere in the neighborhood of the classics of the same genre. Toy story Etc
Took the kiddos to see Trolls yesterday on the day off school.
Thought it was much better than Secret Life of Pets and angry birds.
Still nowhere in the neighborhood of the classics of the same genre. Toy story Etc
What ages?
6 and 9
Its pretty mild. Few subtle jokes here and there they won't get, some farting and laughing, but pretty mild. As GF said, has a LOT of music.
Then I will probably take them to see it. Someone told me that my 6 year old wouldn't like it but my 3 year old would love it. They said it was a bit toddler'ish, but if it has a lot of good music the 6 year old will enjoy it.
You ever seen Kiss Meets Phantom of the Park? A podcast I listen to reviewed that as a one off once and the review was hilarious.
Then I will probably take them to see it. Someone told me that my 6 year old wouldn't like it but my 3 year old would love it. They said it was a bit toddler'ish, but if it has a lot of good music the 6 year old will enjoy it.
My 6 year old loved it.
For whatever reason that was the target audience. Hana barbera I guess. KISS fans were 13-25 at that stage. Yet they make a movie for 5-10 year olds. Poor decisions abounded.
It's Rocky Horror bad but without the cult status. Well except among KISS fans who view it with a certain amount of bemused reverence.
It's no worse than the distressingly bad Detroit Rock City which suffered from the unfortunate casting of Edward Furlong and a script full of stereotypes. Could have been a great coming of age movie but stumbled badly.
I meant Trolls....not jewish guys in makeup and leather.
Give it a whirl. It's better than trolls
Give it a whirl. It's better than trolls
Easy Catman
They are serious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoN1-Jjysk4
They are serious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FoN1-Jjysk4
But I still don't know how to launder money. I looked it up in a dictionary.
Kaos = Michael BoltonI celebrate his entire catalog
LAUNDERING. TO CLEAN...NO, UH, HERE IT IS. TO CHANNEL MONEY THROUGH A
SOURCE OR BY AN INTERMEDIARY.
I celebrate his entire catalog
Rogue One
Really fugging good. Not as light-hearted as TFA, but with at least as many (if not more) nods to the original trilogy.
It starts a bit slow and you're bounced around the galaxy a few times to get the initial players on the board...but once it starts rolling the action seldom lets up and the final 20 minutes or so makes you forget that you were tapping your toe earlier.
The aesthetic of SW and ESB is captured nearly perfectly in the interior shots of the Imperial installations so kudos to the set designers or whoever does that.
Given the faces that show up on screen, it's really tough to see this as some tangential side-story (as I understand the movies released on years between SW movies to be) and I felt like it was the perfect setup to Ep IV. It wasn't necessary to an understanding of SW...but if you knew that story, you'd want to know how Leia got the info she loaded onto R2.
I'll probably see it at least once more in the theater. It's not really worth the extra $$ for 3D. See it in IMAX or standard.
Just got back from Rogue.
Solid SW action. Not much more to say about it other than too long. Would not take the time to watch it again, theater, rental or otherwise. Not saying it was bad by any means. Just zero wow factor. Maybe just burned out on 40 years of Star Wars. Seemed like I was watching the same story I've watched for that long, with a good bit darker ending.
I think possibly the two main characters just didn't pull me in at all. Felicity Jones was about as bland as any lead role I've seen since...well...Jennifer Lawrence in Mockingjay. (Fucking horrible BTW) Donnie Yen and Wen Jiang easily turned in the best performances. Both characters were hilarious and made you really pull for them.
Decent. A ton of SW action. Just nothing to make me want to come back.
For once I agree with our esteemed wiregrass caring barrister. It was good but I walked out not understanding why everyone was jazzing in their pants over it?
You wound me.
Don't want you getting the big head
What about that time you found him naked eating a bowl full of Jello?
Human Centipede 3
Watched the first one out of sick curiosity. It was freakishly terrible. Watched the second one wondering how they could make it work. It was horrible and senseless.
The third? Well you're already that invested, might as well go the whole yard.
What an awful load of crap.
The film brings back Dieter Laser from the original and casts him as a demented prison boss. It brings back the mole-looking screen-watching schlub from the second and casts him as the prison accountant. It adds porn star Bree Olson as a slutty secretary, Tiny Lister as a prisoner and Eric Roberts as the governor.
Laser is by far the worst actor I have ever seen. Every line is bellowed as if it is painful for him to speak. He grimaces, contorts, strains and snarls. Most of what he says is barely understandable. Schlub affects a come and go piss poor attempt at a southern accent. Eric Roberts is, by far, the best actor on the screen. Olson is a close second and that speaks volumes.
The basic story is that the prison boss and accountant watch the first two movies and decide to create a human centipede out of the prison population as a measure to control the inmates and save money.
It is without a doubt one of the worst films I've ever seen. It was bad porn level without any payoff.
Just got back from Rogue.
Solid SW action. Not much more to say about it other than too long. Would not take the time to watch it again, theater, rental or otherwise. Not saying it was bad by any means. Just zero wow factor. Maybe just burned out on 40 years of Star Wars. Seemed like I was watching the same story I've watched for that long, with a good bit darker ending.
I think possibly the two main characters just didn't pull me in at all. Felicity Jones was about as bland as any lead role I've seen since...well...Jennifer Lawrence in Mockingjay. (Fucking horrible BTW) Donnie Yen and Wen Jiang easily turned in the best performances. Both characters were hilarious and made you really pull for them.
Decent. A ton of SW action. Just nothing to make me want to come back.
I think you totally whiffed on this. The main characters were supposed to be blah. There was no reason to invest in them since they would all die. This was a movie that filled in the gap as to how the rebels got the plans to the death Star. In the original, all we were told is that a lot of good people died getting the information.
I totally enjoyed a SW movie that I had no expectations from.
Been on a movie binge lately:
Criminal- Ryan Reynolds' memories "transferred" to mentally malformed psychopath Kevin Costner. Strong performance by Costner saves a rather pedestrian movie. Entertaining, if predictable. Flowers for Algernon meets Face-Off, sort of.
Office Christmas Party- Looked predictable, but I really like most of the cast so I gave it a whirl. Fucking sucked. Not even a chuckle. Pretty disappointed in this one.
Sisters - Love Poehler and Fey, so this was a no-brainer. Funny stuff, but nothing groundbreaking. Trying to make Ike Barinholtz into a sex-symbol was weird.
Magnificent Seven - Solid performances by all except D'Onofrio (what was the fucking falsetto about?). Nothing new in the story, really. Meh.
Bad Santa 2 - I love the original but this is not up to snuff. Tired jokes and, apart from Herman Merman's bizarrely consistent appearance, nothing remarkable about it.
So the question becomes, why the hell would I want to spend that much cabbage on a movie where they intentionally made the characters blah and mundane? Guess they got me.
Ha.
You've seen some of the same ones I have over the holidays. Spot on with office party - sucked donkey bollocks.
And tina fey? 8 days a week. Something about her. Boing.
All those good hallmark Christmas movies and you guys waste your money on those!
Masterminds - Zach Galifianakis, Kristen Wiig, Jason Sudeikis and Owen Wilson are tangled up in an armored car heist.
ZG plays his fallback character: effeminate southern man (Kate McKinnon steals her scenes as ZG's fiance). Sudeikis is great as the psychopathic hitman. Wilson's character is more ruthless and less mumbly-bumbly than he usually plays.
Predictable to the end, but worth it for the constant barrage of gags. If you don't like this cast (looking at you, K), then you probably won't like this movie.
I'll take your word for it.
I tried to watch Sisters. I like Amy Poehler (a lot). I like Tina Fey (less now because of her strident and unwanted political opinions). I know they're great friends in real life.
How in the world can two people who are really friends and clearly have chemistry together have such a complete absence of chemistry on screen? The movie was unwatchable. It's one of the few movies that I've ever quit on. I just turned it off. I watched Human Centipede 3 to the inevitable shitty end, but I turned Sisters off before it was half over.
I just wanna do tina fey. Nothing more.
Cct - watched the hallmark movies too! They have some hot chicks in them so don't hate on them. Some of the worst acting you'll ever see too. I was off two weeks on vac so I had a ton of time. Most that I watched were either on TV or Netflix so no real money lost.
Yep. Hallmark movies are cheesy and predictable, but nice holiday fluff.
Plus, she's in a few of them:
(http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/0/40/4915422-screen+shot+2015-11-06+at+3.29.31+pm.png)
She's kind of a second-level Olivia Munn. I met her once and she's extremely sweet and unassuming. Very personable. I think she's great.
Name?
Number?First things first.
First things first.
Or as jr would have asked, feet pics? Bush?
War Dogs
I don't like Jonah Hill. Never have. His weight in this film is, to be blunt, significantly alarming. The yo-yoing from thinnish to gaining 60 pounds in a few months, to losing 40 back is going to eventually kill him. But that's not the point here. He was sweaty obese, though.
This movie tells the story of a couple of hustlers who break into the lucrative government defense contract business and are willing to take a couple of risks on their way to landing hundreds of millions of dollars in bids.
It's a condemnation of the stupidity of government for one. A cautionary (if somewhat cliched) tale of the pitfalls of greed.
It's a good movie. It's the type of film that I like, along the lines of American Hustle, because it's got a basis in truth, it requires you to think just a little, it gives you a moral/ethical dilemma that is relatable and the performances were solid. Not great, just solid.
I like Miles Teller. In time, I think he's going to be a very good actor. He's just a little bland here. Hill played Jonah Hill, but that's the role he's best suited for. I can't say I hated his performance, because I think he did a really good job with what he had. The rest of the cast is really just a backdrop (although one of the backdrops is amazingly nice to look at).
There's a briefly sketched side story about the home life of Teller's character. Other than the fact that it featured the spectacular Ana de Armas, it really wasn't necessary for the story at all.
There are some things that are a little ridiculous. Like, would Teller's character seriously go back to his broke down car and door-to-door massages just days after leaving a business relationship where he'd banked millions and was sporting a brand new paid-for Porsche?
But those flaws are easily overlooked in the telling of the story. It's laid out well and moves quickly enough that it's extremely entertaining. This was a better movie than I expected, although I sort of expected the movie I got.
It's worth watching.
The Nice Guys
I go to the movies to be entertained. And I was. Very much so.
Of course the trailer gives away too many of the good parts, but that's typical unfortunately.
Ryan Gosling (who has never impressed me as much as some people) was really good here. Russell Crowe, looking much more like John Goodman than a Gladiator, isn't great but better than in a lot of roles I've seen him. I hate him by the way. He gained 65 pounds for the role because "he wanted to look different than Gosling" and then lost it after the filming wrapped. Who does that? Does he not know how hard it is for normal people to do shit like that?
Anyway... The girl playing Gosling's daughter was really good too.
Not going to give away the story, but essentially two bottom feeders team up in trying to find the same missing person. And they do, sort of, but that embroils them in a much larger issue that puts both (and the daughter) in danger.
There were odds and ends of the story that weren't fleshed out enough and some pieces were left hanging. And the end felt like a bit of a letdown.
But it was funny and intriguing. Was easy to watch and enjoy. I'd see it again and recommend it.
Agree on this one. Enjoyable and underrated.
This looks good, maybe it will meet your expectations. Have heard good things about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO_pbtgnmm0
Shot in Fairhope and Spanish Fort.
I'm going to see it for that reason alone. And yes. I met the director. Ha!
Also gonna go see Split this weekend.
I'm not into horror movies for the most part. They lost me years ago after the original Halloweens and movies from that era when it became all about how much blood and gore can you show? Oooo...watch this guy's arm get ripped off and see how much blood shoots across the room and gives his teenage girlfriend the bloody money shot.Why do you hate virgins?
Why do you hate virgins?
I don't really want to blow myself
You don't want to...but you would if you had too.
I don't hate them. In fact, I think I should be rewarded with 72 of them. I don't really want to blow myself or anyone else up to get them, though. Just give me my virgins.
Women virgins.
As I read the first part of your post, I thought, sweet, I am going to say something that is going to get me cut. And then you went and clarified. Damn you.
13 Cameras
What a creepy landlord.
Other than that, though, this wanna be thriller fell flat.
You need at least one person in a thriller movie to get behind or want to survive. In this slow trudge, there just wasn't one. I hated them all and wanted them all to die.
Sounds like a movie full ofliberalsdallaswareagles.
FTFY
Watching The Dark Knight Rises again.
Spotlight was very good. Cast was strong: Michael Keaton, John Slattery, Stanley Tucci, Liev Schreiber, Billy Crudup, Mark Ruffalo and Rachel McAdams.Spotlight
Kind of shocking, in a Pedo State way, how many people were in on the cover-up. Some actively participated and some just turned their heads. The standard line was, "Look at all the good the church does for the city."
The scope and massive, systemic shuffling of these predators is pretty shocking.
You know the final news article the main characters produce, but watching them get there is worth the ride. Well acted, well paced...very good movie.
The Arrival
Save yo fudgeing dollars and see this one on USA or some shoot.
"Meh" coupled with the hype equals waste of fudgeing money.
I love first-contact stories and there was a ton of potential here, but they fell on their faces with this. Too much close-up weepy Amy. Too much dead kid flashback. Too much Nolan-straining.
I wish I had two more hands so I could give those titties four thumbs down.
Words can't express how right Wes is about this movie. Jesus Christ, I'd rather spend the 2 hours hitting refresh on the sga board than watch this piece of shoot again.But given the choice to watch only this or Batman v Superman would you use a shotgun or a 45?
But given the choice to watch only this or Batman v Superman would you use a shotgun or a 45?
AS bad as Suicide Squad was I can deal with it just to look at Margot Robbie. BvS has no redeeming qualities...none!
I tried to watch both BvS and Suicide Squad this week hoping to convince myself that my prior disgust with both films was merely a matter of unrealistic expectations.
I should have chosen the 45 caliber shotgun.
Get Out
Went to see this primarily because a) it was written and directed by someone I have seen in person and b) it was filmed in Fairhope so I was interested to see if I recognized anything.
First Fairhope. 99.74% of the movie takes place at one house. It could have been anywhere. So zero Fairhope flavor. That was a disappointment.
The rest of the movie was well done. A little slow in places. And some small things that bothered me which I can't discuss without revealing too much.
Still a quality effort for a first time writer/director known primarily for dumb football names.
The matching, pastel upholstered ottoman and headboard....simply put....they work here. Very bold!
Get Out
Went to see this primarily because a) it was written and directed by someone I have seen in person and b) it was filmed in Fairhope so I was interested to see if I recognized anything.
First Fairhope. 99.74% of the movie takes place at one house. It could have been anywhere. So zero Fairhope flavor. That was a disappointment.
The rest of the movie was well done.
The dynamic between the black boyfriend and the white bread daughter wasn't entirely convincing but that may have been purposeful. There was less humor than I expected given that jordan peele wrote and directed.
The movie can't really be classified as horror given that any horror aspects didn't really begin until the last 15 minutes or so. Instead it was a slow burn of "what's wrong with this picture" until Peele put all the pieces together in the short (in comparison) final act.
A little slow in places. And some small things that bothered me which I can't discuss without revealing too much.
Still a quality effort for a first time writer/director known primarily for dumb football names.
Worth a look. Don't know if it's theater worthy though.
What would you do if your child was becoming a monster and you couldn't stop it?
I have often considered this.
I mean if they became bama fans, I think the right and just thing to do is to put them down.
My brother went to Bama. I tried to shoot him as he drove away but the gun jammed.
Star Wars: Rogue One
Well....
I don't like it. I've tried three or four times and I can't make it through the thing.
Forrest Whitaker -- aka Jefferson from Fast Times -- is terrible here. The story is muddled.
I just don't like it.
I'm not going to even finish.
I get what they were doing in giving you the back story, but it looked like just an excuse tomake another Star Wars movieprint money.
I finished it because I saw it in the theater and I still had more popcorn with that delicious, golden liquid on it left.
It was a whole of of MEH to me. Good Jedi Fighter action fight scenes. That's about the sum total of it. They never developed or let you identify with or get attached to the main characters, and with good reason. But that made for a boring assed plot. Plus, the comedy sidekick robot, just plain wasn't funny.
I get what they were doing in giving you the back story, but it looked like just an excuse to make another Star Wars movie.
I thought it was a fine action space movie. Here's the thing did we really need a story about how the death star plans were captured? Do we care? ($2 to Nook)
I tried again. Didn't make it to the end. Again. I quit after the father died this time. Just a terrible scene.
The girl wasn't compelling. Forrest Whitaker was horrible. The worst. I didn't care about Machete-light. Didn't care about Blind Lemon Jello or whatever his name was. The lame robot got off a few interesting lines.
I tried again. Didn't make it to the end. Again. I quit after the father died this time. Just a terrible scene.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GougmvRJio
The girl wasn't compelling. Forrest Whitaker was horrible. The worst. I didn't care about Machete-light. Didn't care about Blind Lemon Jello or whatever his name was. The lame robot got off a few interesting lines.
Split
First the good.
James McAvoy does a fairly amazing job. He plays a mentally disturbed man who has 20-something personalities. Only about five of those were ever fully realized for the audience, but McAvoy managed to inhabit each completely differently. You could usually tell just by the facial expression whether he was Hedwig, Barry, Patricia or Dennis.
You've seen the trailers. One of the personalities kidnaps three teenage girls and then the others interact with them as they try to figure out how to escape.
The girls are pretty standard horror movie fare, completely forgettable. The girl who was in The Witch is a little better, but she's still not McAvoy's equal -- and this movie needed that balance.
Now the bad.
The mom from Eight is Enough (and the prison therapist from Oz) plays a stereotypically unaware psychiatrist with some lunatic theory about people with DID (disassociative identity disorder?). Her clumsy handling of McAvoy's character(s) is weak.
M. Night Shamalemaladabingbong wrote and directed and he left a lot -- a LOT -- of potentially fantastic story possibilities unturned. The girls were given too little to do. He kept McAvoy reined in more than he should have, there needed to be a much harder edge to some of the characters.
The movie dragged and dragged, never truly delivering any suspense or sense of terror. Too much was left unexplained.
There was a backstory on the main chick that kept breaking up the drudge in some flashbacks, but it was not really relevant and could have been done so much better. In fact, there was in my mind a major opportunity for that backstory to pay off in a decidedly shocking manner and yet he just left the string flapping in the breeze. Just didn't deliver.
There was also a "big reveal" at the very end, but for those of us who aren't versed in M. Night Shaboolamamadingdong's catalog, it really was pointless and, in fact, added a sense of complete confusion. As the black fellow behind me observed after the reveal "I think that was the same dude, but growed up some or maybe it was the cat what played in that Wolverines movie.."
For some I'm sure it was cool. For most of the people in the (theater full to the point that management held the movie and asked people move into empty seats so they could get the crowd in the lobby settled in) audience it appeared to be primarily a "what was that" moment. Therefore? F.A.I.L.
The movie wasn't bad and McAvoy was worth watching, but it was lacking in so many areas I just can't recommend it except when it comes out on some streaming service.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe
Hit or miss horror entry. Featured a fine cast including a barely used Roose Bolton, Emile Hirsch and the underrated Brian Cox. Film also introduces Olwen Catherine Kelly as Jane Doe. More on her later.
Nude girl is found partially buried in a house where a couple of brutal murders are discovered. No ID, no obvious trauma, just dead in a hole. Sheriff transports her to the small town morgue where Cox and Hirsch are a father/son team running the funeral home/crematory.
Unraveling the mystery of what killed Jane Doe piece by autopsied piece leads to a morass of psychological terror that engulfs the pair. The major "terror" points come in figuring out what's actually happening and what's only occurring in their minds. The movie had a languid pace that was intended to slowly build tension and confusion until it reached the final act.
The mumbo jumbo is strong. There are some logical leaps that no sane person would make. "It's her, she's making us do this.." The final denouement is sort of idiotic -- as in what in the world did he think doing THAT would solve?
As was said to me when the movie was over... "I hate watching a movie that has some good ideas, and builds it up well but ends up not making any sense..." When you sit there after it's over and list ten or fifteen things that lacked sense or purpose? When you can't figure out the whys and wherefores? The movie clearly lost its way. Like why were the other bodies supposedly up and moving around? Did they move actually or are we supposed to assume that was all a mirage planted in the minds of the two. How did the murders where the body was discovered tie in? And how did those tattoos get there?
It did a good job of creating a puzzle as each discovery inside and outside the body was revealed. Neither of us had any idea what direction it would take as the pieces of the puzzle were laid out. Sort of disappointed in the way they figured it out (too convenient) -- and also disappointed in what/who Jane Doe supposedly turned out to be (sort of ridiculous, actually).
The one thing that was (unfortunately?) intriguing? Olwen C. Kelly. She played the dead girl and her entire performance in the movie involved lying completely still. With one last second minor exception, she never once moved. Never blinked. Never twitched. She just laid there on the table completely nude. For the entire movie. In every scene she was in.
Her stillness was such a part of the film that we actually looked it up after the fact.
http://www.clattoverata.com/2016/12/19/playing-dead-olwen-catherine-kelly-talks-autopsy-of-jane-doe/
Six week shoot and she just lay there sometimes for eight hours or more a day. There was something impressive about it.
The ending didn't really pay off, but I enjoyed this one. Fun little thriller.
Get Out
Went to see this primarily because a) it was written and directed by someone I have seen in person and b) it was filmed in Fairhope so I was interested to see if I recognized anything.
First Fairhope. 99.74% of the movie takes place at one house. It could have been anywhere. So zero Fairhope flavor. That was a disappointment.
The rest of the movie was well done.
The dynamic between the black boyfriend and the white bread daughter wasn't entirely convincing but that may have been purposeful. There was less humor than I expected given that jordan peele wrote and directed.
The movie can't really be classified as horror given that any horror aspects didn't really begin until the last 15 minutes or so. Instead it was a slow burn of "what's wrong with this picture" until Peele put all the pieces together in the short (in comparison) final act.
A little slow in places. And some small things that bothered me which I can't discuss without revealing too much.
Still a quality effort for a first time writer/director known primarily for dumb football names.
Worth a look. Don't know if it's theater worthy though.
What was the feature/attribute that the old bag wanted from Andre? Root wanted eyes and the daughter starts to shop athletes when she thinks Chris is under the knife. So...what was the "selling point" for the Andre-body? Huge wang?
Baby Groot(http://www.orangejuiceblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/mickey-dollar-eyes.jpg)
(http://www.orangejuiceblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/mickey-dollar-eyes.jpg)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQEVgbMqq7o
the most fun you'll have this year in a theater.
You are doing shit wrong in the darkIt's $10 for a BJ, $12 for an HJ, $15 for a ZJ...
Gold
Matthew McCongahey as a sweaty, paunchy greed-fueled prospector whose desire to strike it rich and live up to his daddy's long shadow caused him to ignore all the warning signs -- of everything.
I like MM but found it incredibly hard to root for the success of his abrasive character. He kept suffering from self-inflicted wounds, behaved boorishly and selfishly, and didn't have any really redeeming characteristics.
His character Kenny inherited a successful mining business from his dad, ran it into the ground, stole from his girlfriend to finance a highly suspect last ditch exploration into the Indonesian jungles. When gold was discovered, he acted like a full scale jackass and turned his back on the opportunity to make staggering amounts of money out of sheer pride. There was no joy in watching him sweatily crash and burn or try to find a way back.
It told a story, but it didn't tell it well. MM never seemed to get past the surface of his booze-addled character to give me enough depth to really care.
FWIW: Watched on a plane.
Patriot's Day
About what you'd expect. Marky being Marky. Told a fictionalized version of the search for suspects in the Boston Marathon bombing.
It wasn't as compelling as Deepwater Horizon. Accomplished cast that included Marky, Michelle Monaghan, Schillinger from Oz (who was also in Deepwater Horizon), John Goodman, the guy who plays Jin-Yang in Silicon Valley, Kevin Bacon and Johnny Sack from The Sopranos. Also included the man/legend David Ortiz.
I expected Mark to be convincing in this role, but he didn't quite get there. I sort of got the feeling that because it was a Boston story and that should be so completely in his wheelhouse he didn't put in the same effort he would for other roles. He just sort of sleep walked through it.
One of the things that I'm particular about is the score. This one tried to build constant tension with a razor-wire screech but it just didn't work. It detracted from the film in my opinion.
Wasn't bad, just wasn't moving like it needed to be.
Also watched on a plane. To Boston.
I'd say it was more based on the real thing more than I'd say it was fictionalized.
I thought it was great. But wayyyy too long. They should have shaved 40 mins from it.
This one was worth a watch. Agree that MM's character isn't particularly likeable, and his ego fucked everybody (some only briefly), but the ride was worth a couple hours.And was "based" on a true story
Patriot's DayGood flick. Mark's character was based on several officers. My neighbor who ran the race and finished about 20 minutes before the bomb found it very surreal. Her cheering section was right where the bomb went off.
About what you'd expect. Marky being Marky. Told a fictionalized version of the search for suspects in the Boston Marathon bombing.
It wasn't as compelling as Deepwater Horizon. Accomplished cast that included Marky, Michelle Monaghan, Schillinger from Oz (who was also in Deepwater Horizon), John Goodman, the guy who plays Jin-Yang in Silicon Valley, Kevin Bacon and Johnny Sack from The Sopranos. Also included the man/legend David Ortiz.
I expected Mark to be convincing in this role, but he didn't quite get there. I sort of got the feeling that because it was a Boston story and that should be so completely in his wheelhouse he didn't put in the same effort he would for other roles. He just sort of sleep walked through it.
One of the things that I'm particular about is the score. This one tried to build constant tension with a razor-wire screech but it just didn't work. It detracted from the film in my opinion.
Wasn't bad, just wasn't moving like it needed to be.
Also watched on a plane. To Boston.
Alien Covenant
Meh. Watch it on demand. Wasted opportunity to advance the story.
The ending didn't really pay off, but I enjoyed this one. Fun little thriller.
Baywatch
As one of very few people who never watched a single episode of the Baywatch TV series I had no expectations whatsoever about this movie. Good thing because this awful turd of a film couldn't have lived up to even the most minimum expectations I might have had.
It was a raunch-filled dick fest that only found occasional humor and even that humor was barely worth a smirk.
The girls were decent to look at but not that great. The rest was just crass vulgarity.
Baywatch(http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/alexandra-daddario-boobs.jpg)
As one of very few people who never watched a single episode of the Baywatch TV series I had no expectations whatsoever about this movie. Good thing because this awful turd of a film couldn't have lived up to even the most minimum expectations I might have had.
It was a raunch-filled dick fest that only found occasional humor and even that humor was barely worth a smirk.
The girls were decent to look at but not that great. The rest was just crass vulgarity.
(http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/alexandra-daddario-boobs.jpg)
She makes my pee-pee maker t-t-tingle.
(http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/alexandra-daddario-boobs.jpg)
She makes my pee-pee maker t-t-tingle.
I think she's hot too.
She's wasted in this movie. Barely a set piece.
All the girls (with the exception of the "surprise" cameo) were hot. Just not well used.
The blond girl in particular is wasted -- in large part due to the director's obsession with penisi.
And while I'm at it? The poor man's Jonah Hill was a ridiculous waste.
Pirates V
No sequel can ever recapture the unexpected brilliance of the first Pirates of the Caribbean film. Some of the later installments were so misguided they came close to tarnishing the legacy of the franchise.
This one falls somewhere in between. Nowhere near the original but not as bad as the efforts that followed.
When the worst part of the film is the threadbare and tired portrayal of Jack Sparrow by a Johnny Depp who really appeared to be in it just for the money and delivered the bare minimum? That says a lot. FWIW? Barbosa was pretty played out too.
Still the movie entertained. It was too long by a third. I'm tired of the spectral nature of the sea and would have preferred a more straightforward tale with less mysticism. But still. Not bad.
I hope it's the last one.
Invitation
Very weird movie about a dinner party with -- perhaps -- a hidden agenda.
Very strange. Leaves you wondering if the main character is the crazy one or if something odd is going on.
Moves too slowly in places, doesn't explain some of the motives well enough, doesn't explain the need to have that particular group in place.
The cast is filled with people you've seen before but can't quite place where.
Wonder Woman
Granted she's one of the most attractive things I've ever seen, but it was more than that.
Maybe it was the fact she looks like Raven Riley?Gadot is hotter.
Maybe it was the fact she looks like Raven Riley?
You're blasting my past... I haven't thought about Raven in years.
Gadot is hotter.
Wonder Woman
I didn't really want to go see this. DC has screwed up so much with the two Superman duds, the spectacularly shitty Batman v. Superman and the colossally flubbed Suicide Squad that I really had no hope that anyone at Warner Brothers would have a clue how to craft an effective movie. I'm a DC guy. Batman is my boy. Justice League (before the stupid as fuck WonderTwins and BatMite shit) was my jam. It's true, I never cared much for Superman, but who did? Watching what DC has done to those characters with this latest "universe" has pretty much made me physically ill. So I went with resignation, near certain that I was about to be disappointed, disgusted and disillusioned.
Wrong.
This was a really good movie primarily because they got the casting just right and the director had enough sense to let Gal Gadot dominate.. I've rarely seen any actor simply own the screen the way Gadot did. She was absolutely mesmerizing. Granted she's one of the most attractive things I've ever seen, but it was more than that. She made the character and she made the movie.
I was a little concerned through the first third while they waded through the whole Amazon women on an island backstory. But when she emerged in full Wonder Woman bloom in the middle of a war? Fucking A. One of the best "superhero rises" action sequences I've seen.
Yes, it was DC so it was darker and more earnest and less flippant than the Marvel films. DC heroes (even in the comics) doesn't have the same insouciance as an Iron Man or Spider Man. They're more tortured, more reflective, more introspective. All those things played against the Superman/Batman and Suicide Squad films that got bogged down in it and never slogged out of the mire.
The story (even as silly as it was) was tighter here, more focused. It could have used a touch more levity perhaps, but it tried here and there.
There was stuff about WWI, some gas, some pilot, and even some Zac Snyderish fighting in the dark (thank God not the rain) but all of that was superfluous to simply watching Gadot do her Wonder Woman thing. Watching her here it made me hate Batman v. Superman even more than I already did because she was so ill used.
Solid movie, very enjoyable. It was good enough that it gives me a slight glimmer of hope that they're not going to donkey fuck the Justice League film.
Back to Baywatch just a second.
I did not make the connection that Alexandra Daddario was the owner of this spectacularly large pair of naked tits from the first season of True Detective.
Please do not click on the following links unless you want to see unsheathed Daddario boobs.
https://www.celebjihad.com/celeb-jihad/images/alexandra_daddario_nude_true_detective_corrected.jpg
http://www.hecklerspray.com/wp-content/gallery/alexandra-daddario-nude-true-detective/alexandra-daddario-nude-true-detective-15.jpg
Pirates V
No sequel can ever recapture the unexpected brilliance of the first Pirates of the Caribbean film. Some of the later installments were so misguided they came close to tarnishing the legacy of the franchise.
This one falls somewhere in between. Nowhere near the original but not as bad as the efforts that followed.
When the worst part of the film is the threadbare and tired portrayal of Jack Sparrow by a Johnny Depp who really appeared to be in it just for the money and delivered the bare minimum? That says a lot. FWIW? Barbosa was pretty played out too.
Still the movie entertained. It was too long by a third. I'm tired of the spectral nature of the sea and would have preferred a more straightforward tale with less mysticism. But still. Not bad.
I hope it's the last one.
Power Rangers
The year was 1993 my first born was a curious and active three year old. Enter the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. For a couple of years she became Kimberly. Every afternoon we would watch essentially the same show as the Rangers teamed up to battle the minions of Rita Repulsa, Goodar and eventually Lord Zed. They'd fight putties. Then a bigger monster would show up. They'd try to battle it for a while before figuring out they were better as a combined team. Then they'd form megazord, kick some monster ass and save the day. Go go power rangers. My daughter's obsession with the show was such that she wore Kimberly gear to preschool, assigned ranger roles to her friends (one of whom she still calls Billy to this day) and proceeded to gang kick the shit out of other kids who had no idea they were goldar, Rita, Grumble, fang or a putty. There was a broken arm -- hers from leaping off the top of some playground equipment so her pink ranger could help the red ranger tackle an unsuspecting lord zed -- a concussion, numerous scrapes and bruises and the dreaded parent conference. Still we watched. And went to live shows. And the movie.
So it was with no small amount of nostalgia that she and I went to see the new Power Ranger movie.
It was okay. It took the "cool kids become heroes" storyline and dirtied it up some. No longer the good kids from angel grove the new Rangers were the fallen and the outcast. They avoided the obvious stereotyping of the black ranger being black and the yellow ranger being Asian. But they also had to toss in an ambiguous lesbian reference which was unnecessary.
The film followed the same basic script as the tv show once it got the obligatory and lengthy backstory out of the way. Fight putties. Fight solo. Team up. Save the day.
Elizabeth Banks enjoyed herself as Rita. Fun to watch. The new rangers didn't have quite the same easy chemistry as the tv version. For fans of the series there were several nods to it including a sentimental recreation of part of the show's opening sequence and a cameo or two.
There was also a product placement so blatantly obvious and over the top that it was funny.
There were a couple of crude references I could have done without. Kimberly wasn't as good as the marvelous and lovely Amy Jo Johnson of the original and Bryan Cranston didn't add as much as I'd hoped as the digitized Zordon.
Worth watching for nostalgia's sake if your kid was ever a ranger or if you've got a 5-10 year old who wants to be one. Otherwise? Nah.
I love her.
And I will hurt you if you attempt to take her from me.
I asked K last week but I'll ask everyone in this thread too - anyone seen It Comes at Night yet?I always come at night.
I caught it while down in Florida last week. Hated it as soon as it ended. I thought it moved too too slow the first 90%. Then all hell breaks loose the last 15 mins. I hated it because I don't think I understood the point it was conveying at first. I went in with a traditional horror/thriller mindset. That was the problem. This one was outside the box in that there was no traditional bad guy or boogeyman. The enemy was mans own paranoia and imagination.
The longer time goes by the more I think I appreciate it. Although it wasn't without flaw. It did move too slow and there were a few plot holes. But by today's standard in that genre it was decent.
I always come at night.
Does Ben Affleck fill any of Anna Kendrick's holes with his love muscle in The Accountant?
Does Ben Affleck fill any of Anna Kendrick's holes with his love muscle in The Accountant?
This is a spoiler free zone.
A Cure for Wellness -
A couple of European actors you've seen before, but can't quite place, fight in and around a "sanitorium" in the Swiss Alps. It's kind of formulaic, but still a satisfyingly creepy horror/thriller.
Okja -
Supposed to be some big statement about the ethics/cruelty of industrial food production, I think.
Giancarlo Esposito (Gus M'Fing Fring), Steven Yuen (Glenn from The Walking Dead), Paul Dano (Brian Wilson in Love and Mercy), Tilda Swinton (x2) and Jake Gyllenhaal (who is pretty fucking awesome in his role) combine to make a predictable, if somewhat nuanced, look at corporate greed...whether it's cloaked in touchy-feely "laudable" goals (Lucy) or naked profiteering (Nancy).
Did you like Okja? Saw it on the Netflix "recently added" section yesterday.
Jason BourneTroof...shameful
Did not give the minimum amount of fucks.
Seen it all before. Completely unnecessary.
Waste of my time
Baby Driver
Wow. See this one. Great cast (Spacey, Hamm, Bernthal and Foxx...plus the eponymous Baby), loads of action (it's a heist movie, essentially), and a kick ass soundtrack.
If you look closely, you can see Big Boi and Killer Mike in one of the Bacchanalia scenes.
The kid playing Baby should be the young Han Solo.
Loved the movie. One of the best action movies I've seen in a while, but Jesus could they have found a dumber name for a movie?
Will say that I nearly cried when they fucked that challenger up though.
Spoilers, yo
It's a movie about a getaway driver with previews showing multiple car chases. Surely everyone knows that a throwaway car is going to get trashed in this movie.
We were just about to leave for the 9:00 p.m. showing. Thanks for ruining it for us. Asshole!
They crashed a car in an action movie.
Got danged spoilers!!
Life
For a movie titled "Life" there was surprisingly little of it. Never really invested in any of the characters. Deadpool proved that he is not a dramatic actor. Failed to generate legitimate reactions.
The "unexpected" ending was telegraphed.
Shooting a movie that looked realistically weightless was the chief accomplishment here.
Dunkirk
Beautifully shot: wide panoramic beach and sea scenes.
Excellent cast of mostly unknowns.
The plot? Meh. Except for Nolan's trademark timeline-futzing, it's a straight forward story. Another WWII movie. Meh.
Did you see it in 70mm?
IMAXIMARVIN. Please to meet.
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
I finally got around to seeing this.
It's pretty much what I expected. It falls into the same pattern (to a lesser degree) that's plagued other great unexpected first films. Take Pirates of the Caribbean for instance. I didn't expect much when I went to see it. But it was a really enjoyable film full of surprising performances. Same with the first Guardians. Went hoping it would be okay and it far exceeded expectations.
The sequel to Pirates, though? Trod a lot of the same ground with a bigger budget and less focused story.
Same with this one.
Familiar characters doing essentially the same things but with a bigger budget and more forced humor.
Not saying it wasn't good or that I didn't enjoy it. It was and I did.
It just crept right up to the edge of sensory overload. The whole Sgt. Pepper planet that was Peter's dad? Too much. All the slo-mo rainbow action sequences? Too much.
The movie reeled it in at the end for a predictable, but satisfying resolution. But it was so special effects heavy and so blindingly colorful that it almost lost me.
The first film was a four and a half star effort. This one only rated three and a half at best. Not because it wasn't good, but because it didn't break any new ground. It merely threw more special effects money at the same tilled field.
DunkirkPlus, no female heroes.
Beautifully shot: wide panoramic beach and sea scenes.
Excellent cast of mostly unknowns.
The plot? Meh. Except for Nolan's trademark timeline-futzing, it's a straight forward story. Another WWII movie. Meh.
Plus, no female heroes.What like Wonder Woman?
What like Wonder Woman?
I don't think that picture is her.
and Wonder Woman was horrible.
It's her.
And your little brain must be on vacation.
No doubt she's hot, movie still sucked
Was Wonder Woman good? Yeah. I think so. Pretty sure it was. But I didn't breathe the entire time she was on screen. Transfixed is what I was. Betwitched.
And I suppose she puts her make up on with a trowl....trowel.She does not appear to ....no
a lesbian romp. If you're into that.
House on Willow StreetNo lesbians huh?
Kidnappers snatch the wrong person. Spoiler! She's a demon.
That gives the writers of this crap license to toss in an exorcism inside a found footage movie inside a kidnapping/hostage movie.
It was like turducken. Minus the ducken.
The Hit Man's BodyguardDeadpool Saves Nick Fury
Did you like Deadpool? If yes, then you'll love this one. Ryan Reynolds plays a professional bodyguard and winds up having to single-handedly get Samuel L. Jackson, a professional assassin, to court in Amsterdam to testify against a former communist dictator who slaughtered villages. No spoiler alert because that's revealed from the get-go. Besides, the plot adds nothing to the flick. It's simply about the smart ass back and forth between Reynolds and SLJ.
They could have cut it by 20-30 minutes and left out a couple of mind numbingly unbelievable car chase, shoot-em-up scenes. But it's worth putting up with them for the scenes between the two. I checked to see if there was any relation between the writers of Deadpool and this one because it's just DP with a different plot. And I laughed my ass off in DP. Oh, don't take the kiddies. They take the phrase "Mother fucker" to Al Borges/Rick Trickett-esque levels. All in all, a very entertaining watch.
The Hit Man's BodyguardDeadpool Saves Nick FuryGreen Lantern saves Mr Glass
I don't think that picture is her.
and Wonder Woman was horrible.
It Comes At Night
No. It doesn't. Nothing does.
I'm not smart enough to like this movie apparently.
Boo. BOO.
I come at night....and sometimes in the morning.
I come at night....and sometimes in the morning.
Saw I - IV
As much as I watch horror movies, you'd think I'd be a student of Saw. Before last week, though, I'd never seen a single one of the films. I avoided them fearing they'd be little more than gratuitous commercialized torture porn. With the new Jigsaw movie coming this October I finally decided to delve into the Saw franchise and watch them all in order.
Finished four installments so far. Each of the four movies has its own merits, but the series overall is uneven. I like the way the movies tie all the threads together in the end but I'm sometimes thrown by the constant jumping around in time.
One thing that also nags at me is the complexity of the traps that Kramer sets. There's no way all of that could be done, no way some of the events could be predicted. Take the final sequence in III. How could you possibly predict that one person would be shot, but not fatally?
Watching them over successive days -- or with only a few days in between -- helps make sense of the whole puzzle. If I'd had to wait a year between III and IV, for instance? I don't think I would have remembered how all of that played out.
I and IV were my least favorite. I disliked the first one primarily because Cary Elwes is such a terrible actor. I thought the story and the set up were really good but his overacting came close to ruining it for me.
IV was just too convoluted. The traps and tricks reached the point of absurd and the denouement at the end was a little silly. It strayed into absurdity and didn't do an adequate job of explaining why that made any sense. I did like seeing Betsy Russell. Her face hasn't held up well, but she's kept that nice body that was made famous in Private School where she displayed a near perfect set on horseback (http://videocelebs.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/image1_temp-844.jpg -- don't click at work!)
II was the best so far. It made the most sense to me and wrapped the game up very neatly at the end. I like a movie that has the capacity to surprise and Saw II did exactly that. The rules are simple, but you've got to pay attention to each word. I didn't. And I didn't see that coming. I literally had none of that figured out. The traps were much simpler and actually fairly plausible unlike the absurdly improbable setups in IV.
III lost me until the last 15 minutes where it brought everything together in a manner I didn't entirely expect. The only thing that kept it down were the "there's no way that could possibly have been anticipated" moments.
Looking forward to the next three -- or is it four? -- and curious how they'll keep the Kramer character alive. I saw his brain come out of his head so there's that. I just hope the next few hew closer to telling a better story and spend less time on impossible, improbable, ridiculously outlandish traps.
The new Kingsman is a predictably good time.
Same basic setup as the first film (devious supervillain threatens the mass of humanity), lots of great action and some exciting new American faces.
A really fun cameo in the jungle and the return of a former character (not Harry) help make this the most fun you'll have between Guardians 2 and Star Wars.
I have no idea who the "not Harry" character was that wes referred to. Obviously didn't register with me.
Then you weren't paying attention. He had a robotic arm.
Annabelle: Creation
The creepy doll movies have always seemed a little slow-moving to me and this one was no different.
There were some good moments, but also some very cliched horror staples. If a demon is really going to take you, why does it bother to futz around with blinking lights, shifting shadows, middle of the night noises and other time-wasting efforts?
The spirit that possessed the doll -- and then the child -- didn't have to wait several days and then capture the kid hiding under a barn platform. The fact that it took more than 2/3 of the movie to get around to the actual possession while it did random clicks, clanks, boos and hoots really took a lot of the steam out of the film. The blue/black goat look of the demon was also laughable. Really bad choice there.
I found the whole "12 years later we decided to take in a whole orphanage full of girls while we still have a demonic dealio locked up in the house" concept a little shaky.
I did like how it circled back to the original, but I really hope that in doing so it closed the loop on this horror series. It never quite achieved its potential.
You know I love you, and I have much respect for you.
But seriously!!! NO seriously you wasted money to see that. Next time give me the money and I will drive up and punch you in the nuts.
You know I love you, and I have much respect for you.
But seriously!!! NO seriously you wasted money to see that. Next time give me the money and I will drive up and punch you in the nuts.
The Dark Tower
Hey. I’ve got an idea. Let’s take all of George R R Martin’s Ice and Fire books and condense them down into one episode of Blossom.
It’s not going to work.
Neither did this.
In trying to squeeze a complex and nuanced story into a 90 minute sprint, so much was lost that what was left struggled to make any sense whatsoever. The motivations for any character were never clear or reasonable. The emotional hooks that are supposed to make you care about the players, their objectives or their plights were given a perfunctory swipe and then discarded.
What Walter hoped to achieve was never really given the heft it deserved. Nor was Roland’s solitary role in denying it. It so briefly touched on the myriad pieces that gave the story its resonance that it failed on every level to connect. It started, it ended and there was nothing much of substance in between.
It was like somebody giving a tour of the Smithsonian and going “there’s a dinosaur bone, over here is a shiny rock, there’s a plane somebody flew, that’s a mummy and if you look at that building across the way there are some birds in so just imagine that part. Now bye!â€
The performances were fine, I guess. Some of the gun tricks were cool but the rest of the film was so empty they didn’t even really register.
I didn’t hate the movie. There wasn’t enough there to hate. It was the cinematic equivalent of eating a rice cake. You ate something you’re pretty sure. But it had so little flavor it made no impression at all.
Why is the tower dark? Did they forget to pay the electric bill?
Suburbicon
Took off today. The wifey is out of town. Took my balls with her. Kid is in school. I think I'll check out a movie. I had seen the previews to this one several times and thought it looked at least minimally entertaining. I walked out at exactly the 40 minute mark. Only the second time in my life I've walked out in the middle of a movie.
Who in the blazing, blue-ball fuck thought this would be....well....good? I don't know what to say? Set in the 60's. Suburbicon is the quintessential all-white town. Cookie-cutter houses, 15X15 lawns etc. It starts with a black family moving in. The neighbors don't like it. They complain. They keep showing the black mother and her son out in the yard and people staring at them. And that, my friends, is as far as they developed that story line in 40 minutes.
Matt Damon lives next door with his wife, her sister (Because wife is paralyzed) and their son. A couple of thugs break in wind up killing the wife. Damon and sister start fucking. And that, my friends, is as far as they developed that story line in 40 minutes.
That would be the sum total of what happened in 40 minutes of Suburbicon. I don't care if at the 41 minute mark, it turned into an all out orgy in the neighborhood, Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared and started banging the black chick on a Harley while chasing the Predator alien through the countryside and Jennifer Lawrence also appeared and suddenly could act. I would rather watch Bama/Mississppi State highlights from 2005-2008 than spend another minute with this piece of shit.
Again...who said, "Yeah, we've made a good one. Unleash it on the public."
Suburbicon
Took off today. The wifey is out of town. Took my balls with her. Kid is in school. I think I'll check out a movie. I had seen the previews to this one several times and thought it looked at least minimally entertaining. I walked out at exactly the 40 minute mark. Only the second time in my life I've walked out in the middle of a movie.
Who in the blazing, blue-ball fuck thought this would be....well....good? I don't know what to say? Set in the 60's. Suburbicon is the quintessential all-white town. Cookie-cutter houses, 15X15 lawns etc. It starts with a black family moving in. The neighbors don't like it. They complain. They keep showing the black mother and her son out in the yard and people staring at them. And that, my friends, is as far as they developed that story line in 40 minutes.
Matt Damon lives next door with his wife, her sister (Because wife is paralyzed) and their son. A couple of thugs break in wind up killing the wife. Damon and sister start fucking. And that, my friends, is as far as they developed that story line in 40 minutes.
That would be the sum total of what happened in 40 minutes of Suburbicon. I don't care if at the 41 minute mark, it turned into an all out orgy in the neighborhood, Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared and started banging the black chick on a Harley while chasing the Predator alien through the countryside and Jennifer Lawrence also appeared and suddenly could act. I would rather watch Bama/Mississppi State highlights from 2005-2008 than spend another minute with this piece of shit.
Again...who said, "Yeah, we've made a good one. Unleash it on the public."
If you were paying attention...and doesn't look that way...there were articles out last week on the stink bomb it did in the box office.
You should have entertained yourself with Thor you would have been less gay for it. I suppose.
You may be somewhat correct. In all seriousness, I'm very hesitant about reading any movie reviews. Movies, like music, are subjective. It's all about personal taste. And it really doesn't take much to entertain me. I readily admit that. I'll probably go see Daddy's Home 2. I enjoyed the first one. Just slapstick, Will Ferrell brainless comedy. I'm good with that.
Predator is my favorite all-time movie. Seriously bad dudes blowing shit up and making dude jokes and wise-cracks while being stalked by a badder-ass alien. Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy. Why'd you say it twice? I didn't.
Come on, you can't top that.
I wasn't looking for much here. Just keep me interested and entertained. Holy fuck, I've never seen anything that bad.
Suburbicon
Took off today. The wifey is out of town. Took my balls with her. Kid is in school. I think I'll check out a movie. I had seen the previews to this one several times and thought it looked at least minimally entertaining. I walked out at exactly the 40 minute mark. Only the second time in my life I've walked out in the middle of a movie.
Who in the blazing, blue-ball fuck thought this would be....well....good? I don't know what to say? Set in the 60's. Suburbicon is the quintessential all-white town. Cookie-cutter houses, 15X15 lawns etc. It starts with a black family moving in. The neighbors don't like it. They complain. They keep showing the black mother and her son out in the yard and people staring at them. And that, my friends, is as far as they developed that story line in 40 minutes.
Matt Damon lives next door with his wife, her sister (Because wife is paralyzed) and their son. A couple of thugs break in wind up killing the wife. Damon and sister start fucking. And that, my friends, is as far as they developed that story line in 40 minutes.
That would be the sum total of what happened in 40 minutes of Suburbicon. I don't care if at the 41 minute mark, it turned into an all out orgy in the neighborhood, Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared and started banging the black chick on a Harley while chasing the Predator alien through the countryside and Jennifer Lawrence also appeared and suddenly could act. I would rather watch Bama/Mississppi State highlights from 2005-2008 than spend another minute with this piece of shit.
Again...who said, "Yeah, we've made a good one. Unleash it on the public."
Can you judge a Coen script in 40 mins?
That was almost half the movie. Please, go see it, then come back and post.
If you were paying attention...and doesn't look that way...there were articles out last week on the stink bomb it did in the box office.
You should have entertained yourself with Thor you would have been less gay for it. I suppose.
I'll watch it at my buddy, Vlad's, house and report back. Rubles in pocket.
Godfather I & II
I've probably watched these movies 30 times. Every single time I figure out something I didn't know before.
In my mind they are the two best films of all time. Every single frame, every shot, every line are all perfect.
interested to know what you figured out this last time.
i have a feeling Wes will tell us these movies are overrated.
Shit. I don't remember now. It was something to do with Frank Pentangeli. I always have a hard time understanding him.
I've always debated what bringing his brother to the trial meant. I go back and forth on it. Was it a threat that Michael would harm him if Frank testified? Or was it his brother shaming Frank into backing out of ratting because it would bring shame to the family?
There are always little things that I catch, though. It's just so well structured and told so well. I don't see how you could possibly watch the film once and have any real idea what was actually going on.
The Last Jedi
It's OK, I guess. Better than Force Awakens. Not really a fan of what they have done with Luke, Leia, and Han in this new trilogy. Middle part of the movie is pointless and boring.
I enjoyed the shoot out of it.
Diff'rent strokes, I guess.
I really think if they had made this trilogy 100 years in the future from the end of Jedi, I'd like it a lot more. I just can't get over that when I watch the end of Return, I see the heroes at the end, and I know that one will be a shitty father, and leave his kid, one will be a shitty instructor, and run and be a hermit on some island, and the other will be so shitty at her job, that the organization she devoted her life to fighting comes back bigger and badder.
Those damned strokes again. I think they've done a pretty masterful job of tying the old and new together. It brought in the old fans and is creating a new generation of Star Wars geeks.
Yep. At least we can agree on Fuck Bama and UGA.
The ArrivalJust saw this.
Words can't express how right Wes is about this movie. Jesus Christ, I'd rather spend the 2 hours hitting refresh on the sga board than watch this piece of shoot again.
Blood Widow
Filmed on somebody's iPhone I think. I've seen better acting in a sixth-grade performance of Harvey. Tried to be different with an unexpected ending. Failed because nobody cared.
I don't mind low budget films. I don't think it's unreasonable regardless of budget to have some continuity.
For example:
1) Girl has fresh blood all over her legs and crawls through sand. None of it sticks to the blood.
2) Girl is dragged from the room by her hair. Barefoot, kicking and screaming. A few minutes later she kicks out a grate. And has shoes on.
3) Girl is tied up -- hands in front -- and manages to escape. At no point does she bother to remove her gag.
4) Guys are talking about what to do next in the face of a possible massacre. During the discussion, it is light outside. They go on the porch and it's pitch black. Then they cross the street and it's noon-time bright again.
A mug full of dumb in this one.
The Disaster Artist
I had no idea what this was about going in.
You need to go watch The Room and report back. Shame you haven't exposed yourself to that.
You need to go watch The Room and report back. Shame you haven't exposed yourself to that.As far as we know, he only exposes himself to men that are over 18.
It's on the list. Though, to be honest, after seeing the actual "You're tearing me apart, Lisa!" scene, I'm not in a giant rush to track this down.
It's on the list. Though, to be honest, after seeing the actual "You're tearing me apart, Lisa!" scene, I'm not in a giant rush to track this down.Can't believe you have never heard about The Room. Color me disappoint.
Before I Wake
This is one of those movies that slipped through the cracks. i remember the trailer coming out several years ago. Good cast including Thomas Jane, Kate Bosworth, Annabeth Gish and the cutest little guy (Jacob Tremblay). A pretty intriguing premise. Kid dreams things to life but not all of them are good. When a couple that lost their only son in an accident adopts him all their lives change.
Story turned out to be pretty good. His good dreams bring surprises including bright butterflies and visions into the past. In his nightmares the Kanker Man eats the people he cares about. He lives in fear of sleeping lest the Kanker Man come into being.
The way it was all tied together at the end put the pieces of the puzzle into place in a way I didn't completely see coming.
Like all movies, there were a couple of things that just didn't make sense including a lack of empathy at the end on the part of the new mom, the ease with which she gained access to asylum patients and a few other oddities but overall it didn't stray too far into the absurd and improbable.
It was well shot, fairly well acted (Tremblay is an adorable kid and a pretty good little actor). The production values are quality. It's obvious this is a major studio production and a lot of effort was put into how it looked.
But it never made theaters. I wondered why I never saw it come out despite the trailers that had sparked my interest. After watching it tonight I did some checking. When the film wrapped, the distribution company went under. The movie was completed in 2014 with the title Somnia. It was changed to Before I Wake prior to its release. Several release dates were scheduled, but none ever happened. Netfilx got the rights in April and released the film for the first time in the US on the 5th.
During the release drama, the director moved on and did other things like Oculus and Hush. Neither were as good as this film.
In an interesting side note (and something I did not know) the movie was filmed in Fairhope with some of the pieces also done in Mobile. If you look closely at the paperwork during part of the film you'll see numerous references to Alabama. That just makes it better.
Forever My Girl
Hallmark movie your wife forces you to spend money on!
Forever My GirlGreat review.
Hallmark movie your wife forces you to spend money on!
Forever My Girl
Hallmark movie your wife forces you to spend money on!
GET OUT
Not sure if this film has been reviewed, but I watched it last night and it's definitely a must-see.
Jordan Peele has a bright future in writing and directing films.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRfnevzM9kQ
A little birdie, not Buzz' dick, told me K met Mr. Peele during or around the filming.
I heard that rumor.
Someone from the Auburn or Phenix City area sent me a pic. Can't recall who.
Kaos has skreet cred now.
But is the movie good? Would he dare give it a bad review ?
See Page 117.
Get Out
Went to see this primarily because a) it was written and directed by someone I have seen in person and b) it was filmed in Fairhope so I was interested to see if I recognized anything.
First Fairhope. 99.74% of the movie takes place at one house. It could have been anywhere. So zero Fairhope flavor. That was a disappointment.
The rest of the movie was well done.
The dynamic between the black boyfriend and the white bread daughter wasn't entirely convincing but that may have been purposeful. There was less humor than I expected given that jordan peele wrote and directed.
The movie can't really be classified as horror given that any horror aspects didn't really begin until the last 15 minutes or so. Instead it was a slow burn of "what's wrong with this picture" until Peele put all the pieces together in the short (in comparison) final act.
A little slow in places. And some small things that bothered me which I can't discuss without revealing too much.
Still a quality effort for a first time writer/director known primarily for dumb football names.
Worth a look. Don't know if it's theater worthy though.
The Open House
One of the weirdest things ever. I had just watched a murder show (one of those killers on ID things) about this guy who researched houses for sale, went to them without an appointment and when he ran across one with a woman at home alone he'd use some story about passing through town, only had one day, was going to pay cash and weasel his way inside. He'd always try to pick rainy days so they'd be more likely to let him in. Then during the tour of the home, he'd murderize the owner and then leave. He was traveling four or five hundred miles from home to hunt and would have probably gone on for years, but in one of the houses where he killed a woman, she fell on the towel he'd used to dry off a little and he left it there.
Then I watched this movie, a Netflix original. It wasn't the same, but it sort of was.
Basic concept of the film? Mom and son grieving the accidental death of the dad are house-sitting at a home for sale. There are open houses. They don't end well.
The film featured Dylan Minette as the son and some woman named Piercy Dalton as the mom. Minette is a pretty good actor and did a decent enough job in his role. Dalton was in desperate need of some makeup -- even though the lack of it conveyed the grief and weariness of the mourning period -- and there was a completely unnecessary shot of her unremarkable showering butt. She didn't bring as much to the film as she could have.
It was a Netflix movie so it had its flaws. One of the things that frustrates me the most about movies is continuity and this one suffered badly from failures to maintain it. For instance it's pitch black when they run into their next door neighbor at a store. Moments later when they pull up to the door, it's at least two hours later (judging by the level of sunlight). This one had several other gaps like that, and there were quite a few rabbit holes that seemed to just be filler. Even the death of the dad seemed superfluous and irrelevant. Could have given a thousand reasons for them to be there without adding that weak emotional hook.
It took its time getting to the truth, dropping possible clues along the way. Then it left all those clues behind and offered a denouement that provided more questions than answers. In doing so it turned some of the behavorial clues into tattering rags, flapping in the breeze.
It wasn't bad, but failing to let the natural progression of learning about the house, neighborhood and residents bear the fruit it could/should have left me flat. It was a really strange turn of the usual 'things aren't as they seem' trope.
And it sort of gave me pause coming on the heels of watching a real-life murderer that exhibited some of the same characteristics.
Has anyone else seen the movie Mother? I can say with all honesty that it was the worst movie I have EVER seen in my life. Nothing, and I mean nothing, made one bit of damn sense.
I'll see your Mother and raise you one Suburbicon. The most outrageously horrible film ever made.
Has anyone else seen the movie Mother? I can say with all honesty that it was the worst movie I have EVER seen in my life. Nothing, and I mean nothing, made one bit of damn sense.I have not. But I have called several posters on here a mother. On many occasions.
Forever My Girl
Hallmark movie your wife forces you to spend money on!
This was already reviewed.
Welcome to the club!
The ball-less wonder and a friend of mine had to promise our ladies a movie. Their pick. ...
The only positive thing I will say about this movie, is if your girl likes uterus flick love stories...you will get laid later that night if you suffer through it.
Yeah. But he cried.
By the wife or the friend's wife?Yes
...there's no compelling reason to watch this movie unless you just really like Costner.
I would like to request a review of "The Belko Experiment"Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews (http://www.tigersx.com/forum/index.php?topic=5634.msg441306#msg441306)
Currently airing on Cinemax OD
Re: Kaos' way behind movie reviews (http://www.tigersx.com/forum/index.php?topic=5634.msg441306#msg441306)Well fuck me
« Reply #2439 on: July 10, 2017, 11:55:05 AM »
The Belko Experiment
Interesting premise. Office full of people locked in with no escape. Disembodied voice demands kill or be killed.
Some lazy storytelling and a cast so large it didn't have enough time to give background or a reason to be invested in the life or death of most. Still, an interesting cast. Merle from Walking Dead, John mcginley, tony Goldwyn, a hot Colombian chick and best of all THE Nelson "Big Head" Bighetti.
The movie was better as a conversational starting point for whether you would kill or die than it was in actual execution. Still had some good moments.
There was no way it could have a satisfying ending. It didn't.
Annihilation.Another theory on the end of humanity. And only Natalie Portman can save us.
MEH.
Loads of flash, total lack of substance. It's Avatar Redux in that respect. You've seen this plot done better and with more skill.
Another theory on the end of humanity. And only Natalie Portman can save us.Welp. We're fucked.
Damn, damn, damn. Having the "big bad" be 100% CGI (and not even good CGI) is a balls out disaster.I recommend avoiding Avengers Infinity War in case you hadn't already planned to skip it.
I recommend avoiding Avengers Infinity War in case you hadn't already planned to skip it.Coincidentally a new trailer for Infinity dropped today. I'm not deterred.
Jeez. It wasn't that horrible. Just grab some popcorn and watch. Forget your comic book details for a moment and just watch. I've seen much worse.In context it is the worst movie I’ve ever seen.
Your freaking out is unwarranted.
In context it is the worst movie I’ve ever seen.It was pretty fucking bad.
On a Turd scale (100 turds) that is DC since the end of Bale it ranked second to Wonder WomanI could maybe agree with this except for two things.
100 Turds - Steel
99 Turds - Batman vs. Superman
85 Turds - Green Lantern
84 Turds - Superman (Man of Steel)
80 Turds - Suicide Squad
75 Turds - Justice League
60 Turds - Wonder Woman
30 Rainbow Unicorns - The Losers
50 Rainbow Unicorns - The Watchmen
100 Rainbow Unicorns - Batman Begins
Logan LuckyDisagree. This was a "redneck Ocean's 11" movie and I loved it.
Take Raising Arizona, add in NASCAR references, make it not funny, then add in a girl who looks pretty hot in trashy white boots. Theres's your movie.
It wasn't terrible but it tried too hard to come up with stupid deadpan lines that would become quotes. You know, like "not unless round is funny..." (Raising Arizona) which is completely quotable versus "I know all the twitters" which could be but isn't (Logan Lucky).
Movie was supposed to be hilarious. It was just idiots making dumb comments.
"I can only imagine". See it. Good movie. Take the wife. Earn many points.It hit home with me a little too close. The part with him and his dad anyway. But glad it had a happy ending. Cool that it was a true story.
Happy Death DayI agree...glad I watched it. RedBox $2.
I didn't expect much from this movie. I was pleasantly surprised. Don't get me wrong, it's no cinematic classic, but it does what it does well enough to be entertaining.
The basic storyline is exactly as the trailers show: Birthday girl dies every day and then wakes back up where it all began to start the day over again. Yes. Groundhog Day but with a murder tossed in. The movie smartly even references its own ancestor toward the end.
Along the way this trifling little film offered some deeper observations about how a person might view his own life if given the chance to fix the little mistakes that plague our everyday relationships.
The central character, played by Jessica Rothe (who will soon star as Julie in the remake of one of my favorite 80s teen movies Valley Girl) does a pretty adequate job of displaying the appropriate emotions as she gradually transitions from self-absorbed sorority whore to a more selfless, honest, real person over the course of the same day on repeat. It's a pretty neat trick for a character you want to just die early on to bring you around to her side and even move you just a little with some contrived emotional scenes. Watching her grow from a miserable bitch to a reasonably happy person was well done.
The movie has a handful of amusing moments and keeps the identity of the true villain under wraps about as long as it possibly can.
Not a great movie. Had its flaws. But it was better than I expected. I'm glad I watched it. It's assloads better than The Snowman.
I agree...glad I watched it. RedBox $2.1 down, 753 classics left to go.
Star Wars in generalI'd swap Jedi/Sith, and I think I would have TPM over AOTC and TLJ, simply because of Maul.
I'd swap Jedi/Sith, and I think I would have TPM over AOTC and TLJ, simply because of Maul.One of the reasons I have TMP so low is because Maul was -- at least to me -- ridiculous. It was a guy painted up in red KISS makeup. He wasn't intimidating, he wasn't much of anything really. And then he was gone. No other character in any of the entire series looks like that again.
I'd also throw Rogue One in between Sith and TFA.
Not sure what to think about Solo... Trailer has me interested.
You forgot the part where Auburn gets nailed (not for any actual cheating we are doing like everyone else) but for some third string linebacker getting an extra large fries with the team meal which results in forfeiting 40 wins and 6 years probation.
Had this happened at Alabama there would have been no intrepid, dogged reporter digging out the story. There would be a horrific accident and a dead body. The reporter would choke on a salad and fall up a flight of stairs to her death. There would be a trail of cash payoffs to possible victims the size of which would choke a small country, but nobody would bother to investigate them. In Alabama, at Alabama, this story would simply have vanished and the statues would still stand.
Avengers: Infinity WarI liked the movie. The only part I thought was forced and kind of crammed into it was Thor making Stormbreaker. Thought they could have probably done that at the end of Ragnarock.
Marvel finally succumbed to its own (perphaps inevitable) bloat. This was a disappointing movie. Not disappointing on the scale of Justice League, but disappointing nonetheless.
Iron Man was a near perfect superhero movie. It told a single focused story built on credible real-life situations. It had emotion, it had heart, it had humor. Same for Guardians I. Same for the first Avengers movie, although it stretched the seams a bit even then.
This was a massive swollen morass of multiple somewhat interconnected storylines. It was too much. It took things too far. Way too many stories, far too many characters to adequately manage, just too much going on. And so much of it was silly. This should have been three or four separate movies each telling just a part of the story.
It took everyone and everything away from what makes them watchable and shoehorned them into sets where their strengths were wasted. Iron Man creating a suit of nano-tech that is essentially skin? And flying off into space with Spiderman? Thor hanging out with Groot? It was just wrong. All of it.
These films are the best when they allow the fantastic actors who inhabit the characters to play off each other and solve world problems that could ostensibly exist. This swelled up muddle? Nope.
I didn't hate it. I simply didn't like it. Between the previews and the stupendously long end credits that led up to a less-than-satisfying post-scene I was sitting in a packed theater for over three hours. This wasn't the Godfather. Not worth that investment in time. The guy behind us was snoring. Several people around me lost interest and started checking their phones.
I want a fun story where people become better together than they were apart, and a story that provides a satisfying resolution. I got none of that. Instead I got to the end of this overly-long slog through the mumbo-jumblo bag of tricks and thought "what the piss did I just watch?" IMO, this is one of the worst entries in the Marvel pantheon.
Speaking of Pantheon? Watching this film convinced me that there is no way I will ever, ever, ever, ever watch Black Panther. His suit looked stupid as balls. And there's no way I could sit through hours of that stilted "meesa wanna ooola boola" fake tribal babble. The lines delivered by the Wakandians in this movie were cringe-worthy. I can't imagine a full movie of that. Won't.
Avengers: Infinity WarI will say you do bring up one point which made me think more about the presentation of the movie. Since the movie is nearly 3 hours long and filled with multiple story arcs you wonder if it could have been split into 2 movies. One now and one in December before the final conclusion next year. Would it have made more money?
Marvel finally succumbed to its own (perphaps inevitable) bloat. This was a disappointing movie. Not disappointing on the scale of Justice League, but disappointing nonetheless.
Iron Man was a near perfect superhero movie. It told a single focused story built on credible real-life situations. It had emotion, it had heart, it had humor. Same for Guardians I. Same for the first Avengers movie, although it stretched the seams a bit even then.
This was a massive swollen morass of multiple somewhat interconnected storylines. It was too much. It took things too far. Way too many stories, far too many characters to adequately manage, just too much going on. And so much of it was silly. This should have been three or four separate movies each telling just a part of the story.
It took everyone and everything away from what makes them watchable and shoehorned them into sets where their strengths were wasted. Iron Man creating a suit of nano-tech that is essentially skin? And flying off into space with Spiderman? Thor hanging out with Groot? It was just wrong. All of it.
These films are the best when they allow the fantastic actors who inhabit the characters to play off each other and solve world problems that could ostensibly exist. This swelled up muddle? Nope.
I didn't hate it. I simply didn't like it. Between the previews and the stupendously long end credits that led up to a less-than-satisfying post-scene I was sitting in a packed theater for over three hours. This wasn't the Godfather. Not worth that investment in time. The guy behind us was snoring. Several people around me lost interest and started checking their phones.
I want a fun story where people become better together than they were apart, and a story that provides a satisfying resolution. I got none of that. Instead I got to the end of this overly-long slog through the mumbo-jumblo bag of tricks and thought "what the piss did I just watch?" IMO, this is one of the worst entries in the Marvel pantheon.
Speaking of Pantheon? Watching this film convinced me that there is no way I will ever, ever, ever, ever watch Black Panther. His suit looked stupid as balls. And there's no way I could sit through hours of that stilted "meesa wanna ooola boola" fake tribal babble. The lines delivered by the Wakandians in this movie were cringe-worthy. I can't imagine a full movie of that. Won't.
I will say you do bring up one point which made me think more about the presentation of the movie. Since the movie is nearly 3 hours long and filled with multiple story arcs you wonder if it could have been split into 2 movies. One now and one in December before the final conclusion next year. Would it have made more money?ugggghh your scenario would have added 2 movies to my list.
A logical arc break could have been
May Movie -Thor and Guardians, Making of Stormbreaker, and search for 2 stones [BREAK]
Dec Movie - 5th stone, Battle on Titan, Final battle.
ugggghh your scenario would have added 2 movies to my list.Like you would watch them, anyway.
JumanjiNebula croft? Cute.
Been told over and over how awesome this movie was, how funny it was, how this and that.
It wasn't bad, but it wasn't exactly great either. Some cute fish-out-of-character moments, some occasional decent action scenes, a funny line or two. Harmless bubble gum movie. I'd watch it again, but wouldn't buy it.
The best part of the movie was Nebula Croft. Ummm, whatever her name was. I sort of forgot what she called herself, lost in the looking at her.
She's not shockingly beautiful or classically stunning but the movie would have been imminently less watchable without her on the screen. I always sort of figured Nebula was hot, but never really looked beneath the blue and purple machinery. My mistake!
Nebula croft? Cute.Ummm... I said the movie was pretty good. I liked it well enough.
It was a fun movie. Nobody said it was "Gone With the Wind"!
My god man, what does it take to give you basic entertainment.
Ummm... I said the movie was pretty good. I liked it well enough.Yeah well. About the wife comment, you pull that off and you'll be helping with the bills buddy!
That's about the best you get around here.
Please note that I did not utilize the easy "ask your wife" response to the third line of questions. I'm not going to be the one who picks all the low hanging fruit.
BTW? This is just adorable.
(http://www.gotceleb.com/wp-content/uploads/celebrities/karen-gillan/selfie-1st-season-promos/Karen-Gillan---Selfie-1st-Season-Promos-2014--15-300x420.jpg)
Yeah well. About the wife comment, you pull that off and you'll be helping with the bills buddy!(http://popminute.com/photo/1/karen_gillan_swimsuit_selfie10.jpg)
Ummm... I said the movie was pretty good. I liked it well enough.I've seen that look many times, it's the look of shock from seeing a tiny penis.
That's about the best you get around here.
Please note that I did not utilize the easy "ask your wife" response to the third line of questions. I'm not going to be the one who picks all the low hanging fruit.
BTW? This is just adorable.
(http://www.gotceleb.com/wp-content/uploads/celebrities/karen-gillan/selfie-1st-season-promos/Karen-Gillan---Selfie-1st-Season-Promos-2014--15-300x420.jpg)
No Deadpool 2 review?It's awesome. It's everything you expect (unless you're a meganerd, I'm sure those folks have plenty to whine about.)
No Deadpool 2 review?Some people have Timberlake and 7th grade basketball. Geez ...
Some people have Timberlake and 7th grade basketball. Geez ...As of about one hour ago, she's in 8th grade, fuck you very much.
Mostly agree with the above. Didn't break any new ground but it managed to keep it wildly entertaining for 2 hours.There may be some catchphrases that survive. I've already seen a few floating around.
One thing about DPI and 2. They were both funny as hell. But 5 years from now, we won't be quoting anything from either movie. This is fast moving, quick hitting one-liners that you laugh at and quickly prepare for the next one. We quote Caddyshack, Blazing Saddles, Coming To America and numerous other comedy standards. These don't fit the mold.
Not a put down of either DP movie. Loved the hell out of both. It's just that neither will be a "Classic" in the sense of comedy movie legends. But damn, that was 2 hours of fun.
Hereditary
Really looked forward to this movie. Good early buzz.
Two hours and seven minutes. Every single time I thought "oh, yeah, now it's about to get good..." the film turned away.
Tony Collette did a really good job. The guy who needed a haircut from Jumanji still badly needed a comb. The poor girl who you assumed was the focal point of the movie with her clicking tongue is so god-awful hard to look at.
I never really knew what was going on and you weren't given enough character history to really care much either way what happened to them.
The ending was laughable, silly, contrived and ridiculous. It didn't explain any of the hours and hours and hours of odd little twitches, it only more confused them.
u
There were just way, way too many square pieces that didn't fit into round holes.
1) What was the point of the tiny houses?
2) What was the point of the mom's sleepwalking or the paint thinner story?
3) What was the point of the little girl's oddities, including the bird head?
4) What was the point of all the screaming at each other?
5) In what world would a mother send a 13-year old to a party with her 17-year old brother? Stupid.
6) What was the whole point of the grandmother?
7) What was the point of "she wanted me to be a boy?"
8) What was the point of the stupid words scrawled in the walls?
I could go on for two hours and seven minutes.
It was a web spun in all so many directions that few of the threads stuck. So few that the entire web fell apart and the spider died.
I won't say it was a bad movie because all of the set pieces, the lighting, the cinematography, the acting and even the music was quality. Too bad a muddy, unconvincing and in the end asinine story marred it.
Sigh....Plagarists!!
I really had high hopes for this one. But I've heard your same review from several others.
WildlingLiv gave her political opinion on the x?
If you hadn't figured out the big "twist" in the first 45 seconds of the movie, you should ban yourself from watching movies for at least six months.
It was so obvious a pack of butterscotch chips would have seen it coming.
Here's an idea: Let's steal a term from Game of Thrones to get people's attention. Then let's bring in Liv Tyler to star and executive produce. But make sure she never once looks remotely attractive. Then let's borrow from Ginger Snaps (a far superior movie), Teen Wolf, and a hundred other creature out of water movies. Bang! Instant hit. Or not.
The girl at the center of the movie's story wasn't terrible, but she was burdened with a trope-fest of tired cliches and a heavy dose of dumb storylines.
I get tired of saying this, but there were too many idiotic events that didn't make sense. I'm tired of movies that lazily use conveniences to push the story in ways it probably wouldn't naturally go. I'm sick of characters having these absurd motivations that bear no similarity to how a real person might react.
Here's a big wad of stupidity:
Girl and highly unlikely suitor steal a police car. Run though the woods and nobody can catch them despite building a roaring fire to have sex by. Girl is running "north" and in something like two month's time, she's managed to get maaaaybe 20 yards from where she started. Gaping logical faults like this peppered the movie and defied all sensibility.
Don't rent. Don't buy. Don't bother.
Liv? Do better.
Atticus vs. The Architect: The political assassination of Don SiegelmanThat's because smiling Bob is a lifelong democrat. He simply switched parties for electability not too long ago.
If you live in Alabama and haven't watched this, you need to do so. It makes me utterly ashamed to be an Alabamian. It's on Amazon.
I was never a big Don Siegelman fan. I know for a fact that he, like all politicians, had some back alley areas that were a little bit gray. He had his cronies. But I also know for a fact that he was shot down by a fearful state/national establishment.
What Bob Riley brought us was an unprecedented wave of corruption. He and his machine politically murdered anyone from the Democratic side who might be a challenge to them. They did it by strong-arming the legal system, taking truckloads of money from the Mississippi casinos, and flat out stealing votes.
It also mirrors in many ways the politically motivated attacks on President Trump right now, particularly in terms of the incestuous relationships between the people going after him legally. It's hard to ignore the parallels between the "investigation" of Siegelman and that of Trump.
If I have to pick a party, I'm likely to pick Republican. But after watching this and remembering again just how corrupt the party became under Bob Riley.... I'm probably going to vote for the Maddox guy this year.
Fuck Heston. Fuck him for his shitty acting and his political activism. I want my actors to act and leave their fucking politics at home.Hmmm. Ran across this wes quote from 2011.
Hmmm. Ran across this wes quote from 2011.Don't you know different rules apply when self interest and ideology rule Supreme? Do as I say not as a do. That's the left.
Belongs in the SGA but, hmmmm.
So how does wes feel about Clooney, Meyers, and the rest of the whole bleating pack?
Hmmm. Ran across this wes quote from 2011.They're entitled to their opinions, just as anyone is, but their stature in the American entertainment industry doesn't lend them any insight or make their opinions any more credible.
Belongs in the SGA but, hmmmm.
So how does wes feel about Clooney, Meyers, and the rest of the whole bleating pack?
They're entitled to their opinions, just as anyone is, but their stature in the American entertainment industry doesn't lend them any insight or make their opinions any more credible.You damn dirty ape!
Heston is still a shitty actor, though.
Hmmm. Ran across this wes quote from 2011.At that time, Heston was mostly retired from acting.
Belongs in the SGA but, hmmmm.
So how does wes feel about Clooney, Meyers, and the rest of the whole bleating pack?
They're entitled to their opinions, just as anyone is, but their stature in the American entertainment industry doesn't lend them any insight or make their opinions any more credible.Why haven’t you joined me in condemning their shitty opinions, shitty activism and shitty performances then? Did it only offend you because he promoted a conservative view?
Heston is still a shitty actor, though.
Why haven’t you joined me in condemning their shitty opinions, shitty activism and shitty performances then? Did it only offend you because he promoted a conservative view?Because those guys are considered information sources by the skinny jean wearing millenials. It's news for them.
Are you not equally offended by the violent activism promoted by deniro, Madonna, griffin, baldwin, Carrey, etc? Are you not offended by the arrogant disrespect for the man and the office displayed by Noah, Colbert, that ugly freckled bitch, Kimmel, etc.?
Where is your outrage?
You may have the final word in this thread on the topic.Will return to movie reviews after you reply. Ok
Why haven’t you joined me in condemning their shitty opinions, shitty activism and shitty performances then? blahblahblahBecause an off-the-cuff verbal loogie in Chuck's general direction doesn't define my political worldview in total.
Are you not equally offended by blahblahblah
Where is your outrage?
blahestblah
The ExorcistI still haven't seen this. I'm 56 and skeered.
This movie came out 45 years ago. It remains one of the few films with the ability to make me cringe. Perhaps it's because I was eight or nine years old the first time I watched it and was shell shocked. Perhaps it's because it's just well executed. Either way, even 45 years later and after all the hundreds/thousands of imitators, the movie still holds up.
Yes, some of the acting is cringingly bad, particularly that of the mother and the young priest. But the special effects -- considering the time and the limited availability of CGI -- are masterful. Linda Blair couldn't act a lick as the daughter, but as a demon she was fantastic. I can't imagine a scenario where that film doesn't scar her, though. That performance would have to screw up her mind.
The only thing that doesn't work now that did work in the 70s is the head rotation. They tried to make it real, but that's clearly a doll head. Good try and lauded in its time, but weak now.
Still, a fantastic film.
I still haven't seen this. I'm 56 and skeered.Everytime I see it, I'm at confession in about a day.
Everytime I see it, I'm at confession in about a day.You need to get into some lighter reading. Maybe a Nicholas Sparks romance novel or two.
I read a book by one of the Catholic Church's chief exorcists. It wasn't quite what I was hoping, but he did talk about how one exorcism he did, the young girl vomited glass.
The ExorcistTHE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
This movie came out 45 years ago. It remains one of the few films with the ability to make me cringe. Perhaps it's because I was eight or nine years old the first time I watched it and was shell shocked. Perhaps it's because it's just well executed. Either way, even 45 years later and after all the hundreds/thousands of imitators, the movie still holds up.
Yes, some of the acting is cringingly bad, particularly that of the mother and the young priest. But the special effects -- considering the time and the limited availability of CGI -- are masterful. Linda Blair couldn't act a lick as the daughter, but as a demon she was fantastic. I can't imagine a scenario where that film doesn't scar her, though. That performance would have to screw up her mind.
The only thing that doesn't work now that did work in the 70s is the head rotation. They tried to make it real, but that's clearly a doll head. Good try and lauded in its time, but weak now.
Still, a fantastic film.
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
Oh does it! Does it compel me?
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
Really...Really Jay, cause I don't really find it all that compelling!
Who did this?Who did what?
Who did what?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiZHNw1MtzI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiZHNw1MtzI)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiZHNw1MtzI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiZHNw1MtzI)-129
-129Still better than the landshark
Still better than the landshark+100
I still haven't seen this. I'm 56 and skeered.damn bro, even I've seen it.
Bad AssIn case you didn’t know, this movie was “a true story loosely based†on the bus incident where the Bad Ass left the guy leaking. And we never found out who the hot girl was.
Had one of those sleepless nights last night. So, after I stopped worrying about your problems, I sat down with the remote and looked for a movie to watch. Do you ever come across something so incredibly bad, that you just have to stop and watch, asking yourself, "Is this fo' realz?" This was one of those times. Handsome Danny Trejo plays a Vietnam War vet looking to get revenge for his best friend's murder. He spends every day trying to track down the killer, leaving a path of really beat up bad guys in his wake. Oh, the bumps and bruises he dishes out. And being that he's about 4'3" and was around 70 when the film was made, his character is 100% believable. His love interest in the movie was a girl named Amber Lamps. So.....there's that.
I finally quit watching when the bad guy stole a city bus from the terminal to escape. Trejo tells one of the bus drivers he needs his bus. The driver says, "You're that Bad Ass guy. We've all been following you. We love what you're doing. Here, take my bus." I finished up an episode of Gun Smoke after that.
“a true story loosely basedâ€*snicker*
The Last Movie Star
I don't think I would have felt the emotion of this movie as much if I'd seen it when I was younger. It's only when you've reached that age where you look in the mirror and are sometimes surprised by what you see looking back at you that it will hit home quite as hard. It's only after your kids are grown and gone and you face that empty, echoing house that you really understand the depth of the void that was staring back at Vic Edwards in this movie.
The film tells the story of aged one-time A-lister Edwards (Burt Reynolds playing a version of himself) who gets invited to be the honoree at a Film Festival which really turns out to be just a bunch of nerds in a bar doing it on the cheap for their own just for fun. No prestige, no glamour. Edwards accepted the invite based on some misleading info (and on the advice of a badly aging Chevy Chase) hoping to get one last ride on the carousel of fame. He's not happy with what it turns out to be, but over the course of a few days he gets to examine his life and the choices he made.
So much of it could have been a documentary on the real Burt Reynolds as it interweaves clips from his movies throughout. It's hard to watch the once vibrant, wise-cracking, charismatic Edwards stagger through the waning stages of his life, bitter over the mistakes he made.
This film did a wonderful job of capturing that desolate, helpless feeling that sometimes grips you as the world rushes by and leaves you behind. They got that right. Sometimes the world moves on and you're still just standing there.
It's not a great movie. It's got its flaws. But it's a much better film than I expected. If you liked Burt, please see it.
The one thing that I most took away from this film is recognizing again what a great actor Reynolds could have been. Even as a withered shell of what he used to be, he still has an energy and presence that is hard to deny. The roguish leers and smirks that defined him are still there lurking underneath skin and bones that struggle to express them. Had he made different choices, he'd have a chance to be remembered as one of the all time greats alongside Brando, Pacino, etc. Instead he made movies that were fun. I don't see how you could watch this film and not see how good he could have been.
This is a much sadder movie than I expected it to be. If this was his last film (and I think it was), it's a pretty decent way to go out. I wish more people were aware of it and/or had seen it.
Yeah. I liked a movie. Sue me.
TerrifierMimes need jobs too!
It's not a good movie. But sometimes an individual performance is worth wading through the rest of the crap and in my opinion this is one of those cases. The guy playing the clown is insanely good (pun).
Molly's GameSide Note: The guy that was the big time poker player celebrity asshole is widely figured to be Tobey Maguire.
Jessica Chastain in a "based on a true story" film about a crashed skiing star (Molly Bloom) and her rise and fall in the world of big time underground poker games.
Fairly interesting, pretty well acted and a story I didn't know. Cast also included Kevin Costner, Michael Sera and Idris Elba.
Where the movie fell short was in failing to identify -- even if just in flipbook style clips -- some of the Hollywood elite who rotated in and out of her high stakes games.
Worth watching just for the story.
The Book of EliYep and once you know the twist watch the movie again and see how brilliant a job Denzel actually did, because it's obvious from the start.
You may have reviewed this one a while back. It's just that I had seen about 3/4 or 73.7229% of it until last night, when I finally watched it until the end. Denzell normally does such a good job as a one man wrecking crew. Set in a post apocalypse world, Denzel is told by a voice to go (walk) across country and deliver a book (The Bible) to a group that's trying to re-establish humanity.
It's got a lot of Mad Max type action with a bunch of bad guys in homemade armored trucks trying to steal the book, and lot of Denzell offing bitches with various weapons. Overall, pretty meh. How's that for a review? However, it had an ending that really made me glad I watched the rest of it. It wasn't where I expected it to go and made me look at the rest of the movie differently.
SoloI'm done with all things Star Wars...you need to read and learn who Kathleen Kennedy is.
I feel about this movie about like I do Better Call Saul. It's not bad, but it's unnecessary and it sort of twingles (a mix of twist and tangle) some of the mythology of the originals.
If there were no Star Wars I wouldn't have cared about this story at all. It was too light and glossed over backstory the viewer was just expected to know.
It wasn't bad, it wasn't good. It was just there.
Danerys? She needs to stick to being Danerys. She hasn't been good in anything else I've seen her in.
Yep and once you know the twist watch the movie again and see how brilliant a job Denzel actually did, because it's obvious from the start.Denzell is in my top 3. Can't recall anything he's been in that I didn't like. I was a little bummed by the first Equalizer, but more because there wasn't nearly the offing a bitch as I was expecting. Not because of his acting, though.
Side Note: The guy that was the big time poker player celebrity asshole is widely figured to be Tobey Maguire.
The Book of Eli
You may have reviewed this one a while back.
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Page 10 of this thread if you care
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It's just that I had seen about 3/4 or 73.7229% of it until last night, when I finally watched it until the end. Denzell normally does such a good job as a one man wrecking crew. Set in a post apocalypse world, Denzel is told by a voice to go (walk) across country and deliver a book (The Bible) to a group that's trying to re-establish humanity.
It's got a lot of Mad Max type action with a bunch of bad guys in homemade armored trucks trying to steal the book, and lot of Denzell offing bitches with various weapons. Overall, pretty meh. How's that for a review? However, it had an ending that really made me glad I watched the rest of it. It wasn't where I expected it to go and made me look at the rest of the movie differently.
House of WaxShe’s on The Ranch now. And she’s still hot to me. Now she’s a woman instead of a girl.
Elisha Cuthbert had a period where she was achingly sexy. This movie fell right in the heart of that brief period. She just oozes it. From every delicious pore.
Other than that? What a dumb movie.
She’s on The Ranch now. And she’s still hot to me. Now she’s a woman instead of a girl.I'd do her if she was a grandmother. When she is a grandmother.
(https://thewondrous.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Elisha-Cuthbert-short-hair.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjG9Nbbsp3eAhUhT98KHaAIC2kQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fthewondrous.com%2Felisha-cuthbert-pictures%2F&psig=AOvVaw2fTXc6BjwNjQ1RY0cTgIEL&ust=1540412714741387)Snaggs, you've been doing a fine job around here lately, and I applaud your efforts!
Snaggs, you've been doing a fine job around here lately, and I applaud your efforts!Why thank you for the kind words. I'm into the arts.
I'd do her if she was a grandmother. When she is a grandmother.
Stephanie
Build the wall daddy, a monster's coming.
This movie didn't play out the way i expected it to at all.
The little girl is creepy and the story is slowly played out very well. You're not really sure where the harm is coming from until the story decides to tell you. I liked that.
Not the best horror movie I've ever seen, but it was compelling enough to keep watching to see how it would turn.
So yes. I liked it.
Halloween 2018In the novelization, it is explained that Michael was very persuasive and DID con a guard into teaching him how to drive. That was cut from the movie for budget (they had none) and time, but Loomis gets some cursory line about "maybe someone gave him lessons" to another admin.
1) This is a constant complaint for me. How. The. Hell. Does. Michael. Know. How. To. Drive?/ I've been asking that since 1978 and nobody can answer me.
2) The ending felt rushed and out of place. Like a lot of films it felt to me like they said "Oh hell, we're at 88 minutes, got to close this out now." It was less ambiguous than the original, but still left far too much unanswered.That's because it was reshot after bad test screening with the original ending. Michael and Laurie get into a knife fight on the front lawn with all the flood lights, the daughter shoots him with a crossbow, the granddaughter stabs him and he falls. They run away and the last shot is him doing the famous sit up and he turns to look at the screen. End credits.
In the novelization, it is explained that Michael was very persuasive and DID con a guard into teaching him how to drive. That was cut from the movie for budget (they had none) and time, but Loomis gets some cursory line about "maybe someone gave him lessons" to another admin.
That's because it was reshot after bad test screening with the original ending. Michael and Laurie get into a knife fight on the front lawn with all the flood lights, the daughter shoots him with a crossbow, the granddaughter stabs him and he falls. They run away and the last shot is him doing the famous sit up and he turns to look at the screen. End credits.
Motel Hell.That's not the last line, is it?
So a movie that ends with a fight scene featuring a maniac wearing a pig's head, wielding a chain saw and trying to hack up someone whilst they fight among a cooler of human bodies hanging from meat hooks, has a closing line of...."I guess we should call the police."
You reviewed that. And kind of liked it.
That's not the last line, is it?(https://d2ycltig8jwwee.cloudfront.net/reviews/987/fullwidth.68c7f01f.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjkpY-Y_sTeAhUFzFMKHedNBy4QjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fthedissolve.com%2Freviews%2F987-motel-hell%2F&psig=AOvVaw3lyQp_fT2XLlXt3Hpw5wIP&ust=1541773008613456)
The movie took me back. It took me back to drive ins and the soft glow of bucket seat simulated sex. It took me back to late night movies in the basement where Kavanaugh-esque groping occurred. It took me back to hands under the afghan her mom knitted while we sat on the couch with her parents in the room and pretended to watch said chainsaw fight (my eyes were blurring, hard to focus...)
So year. I liked it. For nostalgia's sake at least.
Exorcist II: The HereticEver seen the 3rd one? Much better sequel than Kukumo-laden trash that is part 2.
As iconic, masterful, powerful and captivating at The Exorcist was? Take that number, whatever it was, divide by a thousand, put a negative sign in front of it and multiply that to the third power. That would get you close to the ragged depths to which this movie plunged.
What a dopey load of horseshoot. Caba-Regan and Richard Burton gamely muddle through this mix of laughable CGI, stupid dialogue, Squeelin Bobby from Deliverance and Mufasa in an African headdress, but even a growed up pre-Rick James bitch Linda Blair tarting it up with her 18-year old self could save this warbling turkey from the gutter.
This is one of those movies you have to just pretend didn't exist. The original was so good and this was just so shoottily done it doesn't bear further discussion.
Garbage.
Halloween 2018I love Friday the 13th 2,3,5. Debbi Sue Vorhees in 5 is worth watching the movie. The girls in Friday 2 we’re smoking hot which girl did you like in 3?
I expected to dislike this movie just on principle. I did not dislike it.
Knowing ahead of time that the film essentially trashed everything from Halloween 2 to Halloween 37: Michael on the Space Shuttle helped. After viewing this version I think rebooting by pretending that none of that ever happened was exactly the right move. Josh Hartnett never existed, LL Cool J didn't die, Busta Rhymes never tased Michael's junk, Paul Rudd never stole a baby. All of the big three franchises (Halloween, Friday the 13th and Nightmare) skidded off the rails with sillier and sillier premises. Making Michael some supernatural immortal creature (as in Halloween Resurrection) was ridiculous. Resetting the series back to square one was, in my opinion, a brilliant move. It allowed the film to flow naturally without having to conform to the asinine spirals of the sequel storylines. I liked it.
If we're being honest, the first film really wasn't great cinema. The Omen and The Exorcist were far superior films. But Halloween was in a class all to itself. It was sort of hokey in a lot of ways. But it was great for what it was. It completely changed the horror genre. No, it basically created a new genre. I loved it then and I respect it now. And while we're being honest, part of my adoration for the film was the sight of PJ Soles exceptional frame. I absolutely adored her. Love, love, loved her.
Back to 2018. This film was pretty much standard slasher fare. The same slasher fare that Halloween spawned 40 years ago. Serial killer escapes, takes out his frustrations on some random teens and goes after the one that got away. No new ground was really broken.
I did think it was telling that one of the characters said (paraphrased) "So he killed five people 40 years ago. By today's standards that's nothing." I gotta tell you, I've thought the same thing about Charles Manson for years.
What I liked most about this film was how much love it showed the original (and even some of the ignored sequels). Not going to spoil it all, but here's a for instance. In one scene Michael tosses Laurie off a balcony where she hits the ground with a thud and lies there motionless. He looks down at her from the railing, looks backward at a noise in the house and when he turns to look down at the ground again, Laurie's gone. It was a note-perfect homage to the climactic scene of the original. Just beautiful. There was no doubt the people directing and guiding this film had a real affection for the series. So, so many callbacks to the original it would take a book to catalog them all.
Now, the few complaints.
1) This is a constant complaint for me. How. The. Hell. Does. Michael. Know. How. To. Drive?/ I've been asking that since 1978 and nobody can answer me.
2) The ending felt rushed and out of place. Like a lot of films it felt to me like they said "Oh hell, we're at 88 minutes, got to close this out now." It was less ambiguous than the original, but still left far too much unanswered.
3) There were pieces and parts of the film that seemed unnecessary and/or tacked on. The cheating boyfriend/lovelorn pal rabbit hole didn't yield any fruit and really only served to make the granddaughter look like a bitchy twat. Also badly done and completely unnecessary was the New Loomis turn.
4) The killings seemed a little too random. In the first there was some sort of rationale for who he chose to take down. Here, some of the targets seemed just to be objects of convenience rather than purpose. That seemed out of character.
During October I ALWAYS watch Halloween, Halloween II, Halloween III (an underappreciated film), Rocky Horror, Friday the 13th 1, 2 and 3 (my favorite because of the girl in it), The Exorcist and Trick or Treat. I've started mixing in some of the Saw movies, Hellraiser and others.
I expect I will add this one to the mandatory list. It's a nice bookend to the first. I'm actually looking forward next year to watching them back to back.
I love Friday the 13th 2,3,5. Debbi Sue Vorhees in 5 is worth watching the movie. The girls in Friday 2 we’re smoking hot which girl did you like in 3?Did you know she got fired from a teaching job YEARS later once they discovered she was nude in Part 5?
Did you know she got fired from a teaching job YEARS later once they discovered she was nude in Part 5?I didn’t know that but she was a smoke show back in the day.
I love Friday the 13th 2,3,5. Debbi Sue Vorhees in 5 is worth watching the movie. The girls in Friday 2 we’re smoking hot which girl did you like in 3?(https://cdn.moviestillsdb.com/i/500x/c1npync3/friday-the-13th-part-iii-lg.jpg)
The Family ManI disagree. Tea Leoni in her prime pushes this one just enough to overcome the negatives.
What keeps this 18-year old movie from joining the ranks of must-see Christmas classics? It's got all the trappings. Story takes place in the holiday season, it's got a sappy-sentimental message about enjoying the little things in life, it features an angel, it's got a reverse style It's a Wonderful Life flavor. All the pieces are there.
That's part of the problem. Despite a cute/sexy performance by Tea Leoni and the inclusion of a pre Avengers/Oceans Don Cheadle as the gun-toting angel the whole process is too formulaic.
The set up of granting the wish to change lives doesn't make sense even in the backward IAWL mode.
But the real reason this film can't rise to the level of Christmas classic? Two words. Nicholas Cage. The man simply cannot act. He's goofy, over-emoting, giving the wrong expression for every emotion. He's just a terrible wooden actor who has zero range. He drags this film down with his bunny in the box contortions.
I wanted to like it for the message and for Tea, but I was buried in schmaltz and cage and couldn't get past it.
(https://cdn.moviestillsdb.com/i/500x/c1npync3/friday-the-13th-part-iii-lg.jpg)Kris was a hottie for sure. Even Jason thought so since part of the plot of Part 3 is him getting busy with her and that being the cause of her drama and trauma.
There's a particular look that just gets me and she has it.
Agree strongly with Debbie Sue, too. Ball blasting hot.
I disagree. Tea Leoni in her prime pushes this one just enough to overcome the negatives.I also have to say as much as I hate Cage, I think he pulls the part off well. It is one of the few films I like him in.
I also have to say as much as I hate Cage, I think he pulls the part off well. It is one of the few films I like him in.I like a few of his movies like The Rock and probably his first flick, Valley Girl. Conair is a fun movie to me but I blame the writers/directors...or whoever thought it was an even remotely good idea to have him try that horrible southern accent. After the first line, they should have said, "You know what? Just talk normally." His character would have been pretty decent had they just dropped it.
I like a few of his movies like The Rock and probably his first flick, Valley Girl. Conair is a fun movie to me but I blame the writers/directors...or whoever thought it was an even remotely good idea to have him try that horrible southern accent. After the first line, they should have said, "You know what? Just talk normally." His character would have been pretty decent had they just dropped it.Puuuuut da Bunnahe in tha baux.
Puuuuut da Bunnahe in tha baux.(http://prisonmovies.nfshost.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/con-air-3-300x168.jpg) (http://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiM_eWaw_reAhUNq1MKHcooDRoQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.prisonmovies.net%2Fcon-air-1997-usa&psig=AOvVaw1tfGcfALNGZruIe60iseDf&ust=1543612555846028)
I also have to say as much as I hate Cage, I think he pulls the part off well. It is one of the few films I like him in.In my book Cage made three good films.
whoever thought it was an even remotely good idea to have him try that horrible southern accent. After the first line, they should have said, "You know what? Just talk normally." His character would have been pretty decent had they just dropped it.
In my book Cage made three good films.Drive angry! That reunited me with my high school days of our lives sweetheart!
Valley Girl
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (as Nicholas Coppola, which is the only reason anyone ever hired him)
and
Raising Arizona (that there is a masterpiece)
That. All of it ^^Cy-anara?
but what about Cyrus the virus?
Rewatched Goldfinger this week. Still works.Rewatched House of Whores 4, Return of Cumzilla.
Rewatched House of Whores 4, Return of Cumzilla.
You never told me your mom was in that.
We celebrate all her titles.You misspelled titties.
You misspelled titties.
Titles, Mr. Connery, not titties.Suck it Trebek!
Suck it Trebek!I’ll take The rapist for 400.
Tag
Don't know what I expected, but it was barely fair. A couple of mildly funny moments and that's about it. Instantly forgettable.
I have the same problem with almost all "comedies" these days. Awkward, forced discussions of sexual acts, the repetitive use of profanity are indications of just plain laziness from the writers. The story didn't need a scene where each character discussed whether oral sex was a part of the negotiation ploy.
I blame Judd Apatow for the turn from true efforts at comedy to the laziness of just saying vulgar things as if those were funny alone. They're not.
I watched Beverly Hills Cop today. Yeah, Eddie dropped the f-bombs here and there but the story was smart, the delivery was on-time, the action was well choreographed. That was a good comedy.
Tag could have been, but it took the easy route and failed to deliver on the story's promise.
Frankly, the movie just sucked.
Caught Beverly Hills Cop 3 last night.....geez, even it was better than most shit today. And it was bad compared to I and II. Eddie was great in his heyday- sometimes I forget that. Same with Burt Reynolds. Just fun guys to watch, clever stories.Well, I liked the first Beverly Hills Cop in part because Lisa Elibacher made me uncomfortable in personal spaces. She hypmotized me.
But yeah, that Eddie (BHC 1 and maybe 2, Coming to America, Trading Places, 48 Hours) was awesome. It's like he gotsome bad career advicegot caught with a tranny hooker and has been doing a bunch of kiddie shit as penance ...
The first BHC works as just a cop story. The antics are a side, small part of the cop mystery going there. Hard to imagine what that would have looked like with Stallone as Axel Foley. BHC 2 does not hold up as well. It's got too much of the "Johnny Wishbone" shit in it. Also, the central crime is kinda dumb. The first one made sense, at least. That third one is trash.But at least it was funny.
The first BHC works as just a cop story. The antics are a side, small part of the cop mystery going there. Hard to imagine what that would have looked like with Stallone as Axel Foley. BHC 2 does not hold up as well. It's got too much of the "Johnny Wishbone" shit in it. Also, the central crime is kinda dumb. The first one made sense, at least. That third one is trash.
True. But I’ll still sit down and watch all 3 over most anything being made today. The Wally World wannabe theme park premise of 3 was silly but entertained me in a weird way. How is it that Hector Elizondo looks the same in 1991 and he does in 2018?Easy. He's a Vampire.
While we’re at it? The whore from Crocodile Dundee 1 and 2?
Something about that blew my fuses too.
While we’re at it? The whore from Crocodile Dundee 1 and 2?Linda Kozlowski?
Something about that blew my fuses too.
I’ll be frank (you can still be Kaos) - those movies were so horrific I don’t even remember anyone else in them not named Paul hogan.That dirty, whurish mouf. You shut it.
That dirty, whurish mouf. You shut it.Atts nawwt a knoiyfe. ATTTS a knoiyfe!
2 was a whole lot of meh, but 1 was the bizzomb when it came out.
It wasn’t great art but it was a fun/enjoyable movie. Nice mix of humor and story.Agreed on all points but the last. You see his old wife?
Movie came out in 86. I was fairly new to the ways of the fucking. Was really just starting to graduate from the backseat, hiding from parents, get it in before somebody catches you sort of sex to the more mature long-term relationship sort of sex. Attraction gravitating from ‘girl’ to ‘woman’
That red dress she wore in the party scene? That was a grown ass woman. When she pretended to be the maid and rubbed her bare leg on the door when Mick was in the bathtub? That was one of the sexiest grown woman things I’d seen.
I thought she was crazy hot. I’d still watch the movie just for her. A little disappointed they wrecked his marriage. Cut them both down a little to the idealistic 20 year old me.
Agreed on all points but the last. You see his old wife?No. I never did. Don't guess I considered that. It was more just the "she stayed with his broke ass and supported him for years, but then as soon as he makes it big he dumps her" feeling. Seems like I read somewhere they were like on welfare or something in Australia while he tried to make it.
No. I never did. Don't guess I considered that. It was more just the "she stayed with his broke ass and supported him for years, but then as soon as he makes it big he dumps her" feeling. Seems like I read somewhere they were like on welfare or something in Australia while he tried to make it.Although not homemade sin ugly, it was definitely a trade up!
I’ll be frank (you can still be Kaos) - those movies were so horrific I don’t even remember anyone else in them not named Paul hogan.Pump your brakes boy that man's a National Treasure!
Pump your brakes boy that man's a National Treasure!(http://bcheights.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Cage-online.jpg)
(http://bcheights.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Cage-online.jpg)I’ll take “actors that Paul Hogan is better than†for 500 Kaos.
I believe you have the wrong movie.
I’ll take “actors that Paul Hogan is better than†for 500 Kaos.You put that bunny back in the box, beyotch.
You know, I'm getting damn tired of you people putting down a great talent like Nicolas Cage and his versatility as an actor. Name me another actor that can turn their head into a blazing skull. Go ahead. Yep, just what I thought. Stop the hate.That movie sucks. It tries and fails at being a "love story."
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9e/14/f4/9e14f4ddd270cdae53c701b63bfcf0b9.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwiBpt_g1ZrfAhWNT98KHYRcC-YQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F564146290807039687%2F&psig=AOvVaw2CyzZdqdx86h7m1ofNvWwU&ust=1544717072224198)
That movie sucks. It tries and fails at being a "love story."Not true....I totally fell in love with Eva Mendes
(http://bcheights.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Cage-online.jpg)Pump yo brakes...I think you have the wrong movie.
I believe you have the wrong movie.
Not true....I totally fell in love with Eva MendesThose are some lush us titties. Nom nom nom nom nom....
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/53/04/f9/5304f9c42c40b249a052dacf3c2d5b75.jpg)
Fixt
I vividly remember what it was like at that time. Tennis was front and center in the national consciousness. Courts were everywhere. Everybody played. Even Kaos played a few tournaments -- and played nearly every weekend and most of the summer when he wasn't playing baseball or golf. There was one glorious summer where Kaos played 18 holes of golf in the morning, hit the pool, played a three-set tennis match mid-afternoon and then closed out the day with 18 more holes of golf. That was his schedule at least five days a week. Followed up by a hot tub session with Jacklyn Smith, But then he woke up.
FixtYou wish.. I was a Prowler back in those days. The company I was working for went out of business unexpectedly right before the summer. The guy who owned the place told me I could draw unemployment. I never imagined that was possible. I spent several months living on the dole.
You wish.. I was a Prowler back in those days. The company I was working for went out of business unexpectedly right before the summer. The guy who owned the place told me I could draw unemployment. I never imagined that was possible. I spent several months living on the dole.
Every week for the entire summer I got an unemployment check. I did manual labor on the weekends for straight cash that didn't go against my unemployment draw.
My dad was a member at the little country club where we lived and I was still young enough to be on his tab. Golf/tennis/pool all free. Lunch tab went to my dad. All I had to pay every month was my car note ($75), my gas (less than $1 a gallon) and whatever I did with my girlfriend (and you could do movies and dinner for less than $30 usually). For the time? I had plenty of money. I was rich!
I'd show up at 6:30 or 7 play 18 with the old guys, be done by 10 or so. Pool until 11. Burger or chicken salad at the bar. Try to find somebody to play tennis with and sweat through two and a half hours. Be ready to run 18 more with the people getting off work at 3 or 4. Done by 7:30 (darkish), hit the shower and go to GF's house.
Best shape of my life.
Then I grew up. Got off the unemployment.
hey I was trying to hook you up with Jaclyn.I did that on my own many times. Also Farrah. She lived on my wall.
Venom
Didn't expect much from this movie. Don't really like Tom Hardy all that much and don't know anything about the Venom franchise other than that he's a bad guy in the Spiderman pantheon. So I really wasn't sure how they'd play it.
Turns out it was a pretty fun movie. Oh, the plot was ridiculous, the logic of so many people betting killed and maimed while Venom/Brock was allowed to just wander around was absurd, the idea that Brock and the researcher could just wander into the research facility because it was "closed for the night" was laughable (I mean really, the guy has no security cameras?), Hardy seemed to be doing his best to channel Shia Lebouf's mannerisms and speech patterns, Michelle Williams is seriously hard to look at (she's one ugly chick), and they wiped their collective butts with the entire Venom history that I half-way researched before I watched it.
But it still had its moments.
It isn't in the same orbit as the tentpole Marvel movies, but it was still better than most of the soggy slate of staid and ponderous DC offerings (save WW). I'd much rather watch Venom than SvB or JL. It at least had a sense of breezy fun to it.
I can't figure out how in the world they could tie Venom into the broader Marvel universe, though, given the way they completely trashed the origin story and the rationale for his being.
I liked this much more than I expected I would.You are both right about Williams. I think she is the girl from the Seinfeld episode... she's a two face.
It was interesting to see Hardy play a character without an outrageous speech affectation.
Fun movie and I disagree about Ms. Williams.
You are both right about Williams. I think she is the girl from the Seinfeld episode... she's a two face.Festivus was last week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFeUrC2gR30
Festivus was last week.It's a Festivus miracle.
Bandersnatch
Nope. This is not a movie about Dr. Strange. It's a movie-length episode of Black Mirror.
One of the twistiest movies I've ever seen. It cannot be reviewed. Very self aware, and requires interaction and attention.
I want to watch it again and see if I get to the same end. Is the path really controlled?
Intriguing. I'd be interested in how others take it.
Not a review, but I vegged out for several hours yesterday with two classics back to back. Tombstone and Full Metal Jacket. Tombstone is similar to Shawshank Redemption for me. It's one of those that if I'm flipping channels and come across, I go, "Yep, I'll be here for a while."Excellent movies, both. Time well spent.
Hadn't seen FMJ in years and forgot how many great lines came out of that one. One line that was not so great came when Snags Lite and his babe were walking through the den just as Gny. Sgt. Hartman sings out during a run, "I don't know but I've been told, Eskimo pussy is mighty cold."
Say, you kids have fun.
Excellent movies, both. Time well spent.One of the best moments.
One of the best moments.That movie could just be a 15 minute super-cut of Doc Holliday's lines and it would still be cinematic gold.
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9e/cd/67/9ecd671b37f99e118fefb69284cef866.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjTmv7-uMrfAhUhU98KHQ3LDKEQjRx6BAgBEAU&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F471259548497501124%2F&psig=AOvVaw1NT_kmCBh-xrfEkgwAxY_Y&ust=1546358458710932)
That movie could just be a 15 minute super-cut of Doc Holliday's lines and it would still be cinematic gold.Indeed.
Excellent movies, both. Time well spent.Full Metal Jacket yes, just because it was so weird.
Full Metal Jacket yes, just because it was so weird.FMJ is just over 30 years old now. You had a young Matthew Modine (Loved him in Vision Quest) and Vincent D'Onofrio. I had to check and see who played "Gomer Pyle" and when I saw it was D'onofiro, I realized this guy has to be one of the more versatile actors out there. A shit load of bit parts but he's played about every role imaginable.
Never seen Tombstone. Or if I have, it didn't resonate.
Not a review, but I vegged out for several hours yesterday with two classics back to back. Tombstone and Full Metal Jacket. Tombstone is similar to Shawshank Redemption for me. It's one of those that if I'm flipping channels and come across, I go, "Yep, I'll be here for a while."Is he dating an Eskimo?
Hadn't seen FMJ in years and forgot how many great lines came out of that one. One line that was not so great came when Snags Lite and his babe were walking through the den just as Gny. Sgt. Hartman sings out during a run, "I don't know but I've been told, Eskimo pussy is mighty cold."
Say, you kids have fun.
Full Metal Jacket yes, just because it was so weird.
Never seen Tombstone. Or if I have, it didn't resonate.
Is he dating an Eskimo?
FMJ is just over 30 years old now. You had a young Matthew Modine (Loved him in Vision Quest) and Vincent D'Onofrio. I had to check and see who played "Gomer Pyle" and when I saw it was D'onofiro, I realized this guy has to be one of the more versatile actors out there. A shit load of bit parts but he's played about every role imaginable.The fact that you didn't mention Animal Mother (Adam Baldwin) when speaking of this movie makes you very wrong.
Is he dating an Eskimo?MMM, good.
*snicker*
It's awesome.
So....you'll hate it.
MMM, good.I wouldn't worry about it. These days his gf has probably eaten more pussy than he has.
Tastes good.
Feels good.
I wouldn't worry about it. These days his gf has probably eaten more pussy than he has.That's hawt.
Southern ComfortAlan Autrey was QB of the Packers in the early 70s. You may also remember him from Sparta!
Powers Boothe at the height of his powers. Fred Ward. Keith Carradine. Alan Autry (you won't know the name but you'll recognize the guy).
Louisiana National Guardsmen get lost in the bayou and stupidly run afoul of the cajuns who inhabit the swamps. The weekend warriors pay a heavy price for mucking around in things they don't understand.
It's sort of a cross between First Blood and a heavy dose of Deliverance (both movies I liked) with maybe a smidge of Predator mixed in.
This is one of those 80s movies that's always been on my favorites list and I'd forgotten about it until it popped up on Amazon Prime.
I love the Louisiana scenery, the spanish moss covered swamp trees, and the cajun music. This film was actually my first introduction to the zydeco sound and it's remained one of my favorite genres ever since.
It's not a great movie and the dialogue is cheesy in a way only an 80s movie could evoke, but it's also good in a way only an 80s action movie could be.
Highly recommend.
Ready Player One
Sort of had the same feel as one of Speilberg's 80s movies.
I wish the film had paid more attention to story and detail than it did to cramming a million kitschy pop culture references into every frame. It reached the point to where I felt like they were just throwing things up on the screen to amuse themselves rather than use those millions of references to advance the story.
The 80s were a different time. This throwback movie felt a little out of place. It wasn't mean/dirty enough to really be an action movie and it had a little too much splash and menace to hit the spot as a kid's movie. In that way it was similar to say... Gremlins (not Speilberg but of the same era). I didn't hate it, but it was ultimately unsatisfying.
The main bad guy (the CEO of IOI) vacillated between cartoonish hyperbole and glaring threats. He runs a corporation that wants to take over control of The Oasis -- a vast virtual reality where pretty much everyone exists for the majority of time. The creator of The Oasis died and left behind control to whoever solved a series of three in-game puzzles. The IOI CEO has huge teams of gamers working every angle, trying to figure out the answers to the three puzzles.
I'd be remiss if I didn't state that the solutions to these puzzles would have been figured out by the IOI teams long, long, long before some random kids unlocked them.
The movie suffered a bit from the blandness of the lead. The kid tried, but he had very little charisma. Might have been better if the focus was on the girl he became smitten with as opposed to him.
As for the story it was a little ridiculous. The technology seemed muddled and the way it breezed through an explanation of how the world reached the place we found it was somewhat lacking -- although I see how it potentially could at some future point.
Hang on... Alexa? Turn off the kitchen lights and lock the door.
It was an ambitious movie, but the tent pole wasn't strong enough for it to bring back the Speilberg blockbuster magic in my opinion.
I liked the soundtrack that was loaded with 80s song references. And even though it was too much, I enjoyed seeing essentially 3/4 of my early teenage years as background set pieces. So there's that.
Happy Death Dayhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeXqWDFJZiw
I didn't expect much from this movie. I was pleasantly surprised. Don't get me wrong, it's no cinematic classic, but it does what it does well enough to be entertaining.
The basic storyline is exactly as the trailers show: Birthday girl dies every day and then wakes back up where it all began to start the day over again. Yes. Groundhog Day but with a murder tossed in. The movie smartly even references its own ancestor toward the end.
Along the way this trifling little film offered some deeper observations about how a person might view his own life if given the chance to fix the little mistakes that plague our everyday relationships.
The central character, played by Jessica Rothe (who will soon star as Julie in the remake of one of my favorite 80s teen movies Valley Girl) does a pretty adequate job of displaying the appropriate emotions as she gradually transitions from self-absorbed sorority whore to a more selfless, honest, real person over the course of the same day on repeat. It's a pretty neat trick for a character you want to just die early on to bring you around to her side and even move you just a little with some contrived emotional scenes. Watching her grow from a miserable bitch to a reasonably happy person was well done.
The movie has a handful of amusing moments and keeps the identity of the true villain under wraps about as long as it possibly can.
Not a great movie. Had its flaws. But it was better than I expected. I'm glad I watched it. It's assloads better than The Snowman.
12 Skronghttp://www.historyvshollywood.com/reelfaces/12-strong/
May have been reviewed a while back. Just my take on it. Chris Hemsworth plays a soldier leading a team into Asscrackastan immediately after 9-11. Their mission is to hook up with an anti-Taliban group and locate pockets of terrorists, then call in air strikes to that position. Semi-okay, nothing special war flick until the end when it just lost me. If you haven't seen it, what I'm about to say doesn't ruin it for anyone. It's a war movie. They kill bad guys. But it turns into a Marvel/DC super hero action scene when they come riding into the Taliban camp on horses, facing hundreds of sheet heads with machine guns, tanks, and various other weapons of mass destruction. 9 million rounds are fired and the only ones who get shot are the terrorists...by U.S. soldiers.....on horses.
Look, if it's Rambo, you know that's what you're getting. If this is loosely based on a true story, then it's veerrrrry loosely based....with a side order of cheese.
http://www.historyvshollywood.com/reelfaces/12-strong/I had heard it was based on the real deal. The movie was okay, not worth watching again by any means. However, my "very loosely" comment was aimed more at the final scene than anything else.
You had me at Nicholas CageI like how Kaos is so suck sink and to the point!
Ocean's EightSo I agree the movie pales in comparison to any of the other Ocean movies, but at least it was watchable. You can't compare it to Ghostbusters (female cast) that turd is horrible, I have only stomached 5 mins of it before I changed the channel. The rest of the review I'm good with.
Hey, remember when they did Ghostbusters but had an all female cast? Remember how great that was? Yeah. This was a lot like that.
Ocean's 11 had a breezy, jazzy cool and a well-matched ensemble that played off each other's quirks brilliantly.
Ocean's 8 has a face full of collagen, cake pans of makeup, very little chemistry among the players and a mis-matched ensemble that fails to reach cohesion.
Basic storyline: Danny Ocean is dead (beginning of the ruination) and his sister (Sandra Bullock) is fresh out of jail after being semi-framed by her semi-boyfriend. She's looking for revenge and sets up a jewel heist that will a) net millions and b) get revenge on the rat boyfriend. She recruits this supposedly crack group of accomplices that includes Cate Blanchett, Kelly Kapoor, Rhianna, some chinese dude named Aquafina, Helena Bonham Carter Weirdo, and Sarah Paulson to pull it off. Tedium ensues.
You cannot change my mind on just how hideous Bullock looks today. Botox renders her face essentially expressionless. Whatever she's injected into her lips and cheeks combined with the obvious butchery on her nose creates a rigid plastic mask that's eerily reminiscent of Michael Jackson toward his creepy end. Kelly Kapoor (whatever her name is) also has a face apparently full of plumping injections. Hers is so bad I spent half the movie unsure whether it was actually her or not. Paulson is also toting a smaller bag of lip injections but hers at least doesn't completely distort her face. Rhianna appears collagen free, but she cannot act as she clearly proved in Battleship and reinforced here.
The only person who pulls off the cool vibe this movie needs at all is Cate Blanchett. Don't care much for her in general, but she did the best she could here with a clunky script and a half-baked backstory. Bonham Carter wasn't bad and has aged so much better than the rest in this film (because she hasn't resorted to face altering mutilations) but her natural off-beat weirdness had a hard time fitting with the flow the movie wants to create.
Anne Hathaway contributes some badly scenes but doesn't do anything to elevate the movie. It was like she was fun constipated and tried really, really hard to squeeze some out but just couldn't in the end. Also like she thought she was in a completely different film than the rest.
The movie attempted to capture the glib fun of the Ocean's 11 remake but it failed to get there. Where 11 gave you a reason to care that the criminals got over on the casino (Terry Benedict was a crook and screwed over their pals) here the theft had no altruistic motivation. It was just bitchy greed with revenge tossed in as a secondary plot point. Ripping off jewels without a noble reason to do so -- or a noble purpose for them after the fact -- turned the "heroines" of this movie into nothing but criminals. Chopping up historic pieces of jewelry with a wire cutter also seemed utterly wrong.
At the end, Plasti-face stares at Danny's crypt, takes a drink and says (without moving a single plasticized muscle in her entire face) "you would have loved it." Wrong. He would have hated it.
So I agree the movie pales in comparison to any of the other Ocean movies, but at least it was watchable. You can't compare it to Ghostbusters (female cast) that turd is horrible, I have only stomached 5 mins of it before I changed the channel. The rest of the review I'm good with.Agreed. Not as bad as Gutbusters starring angry black woman with no talent whatsoever.
Cold PursuitFun fact.
Liam Neeson's latest action flick. Set in the dead of winter just outside of Denver. Let me get to the bottom line. Horrible. Terribly written. Unbelievably predictable story line with 4 or 5 blatant loose ends that never get reconciled.
Are you wanting some one man army Neeson action? Forget it. He offs a few guys in less than spectacular fashion early on and the last 3/4 of the flick....nada. Admittedly its mildly humorous. Some fairly funny parts. That's about it. Not a good movie and a huge let down for anyone looking for Neeson to revive some of his kick ass persona.
But, did the white man actually jump?We goin' Sizzler. We goin' Sizzler.
Uncle Drew
Difficult to review this movie without being accused of racism, but reality is reality. Comedies written by, for and with essentially all black casts tend to have a much different resonance than comedies done for a broader audience.
This movie was intended to appeal to a certain demographic and I am not a part of that target audience. That doesn't mean that I didn't enjoy the occasional gags or appreciate the random trips into funk/R&B nostalgia that were sprinkled throughout this movie. I did find the execution of those musical interludes choppily handled and not savored as they should be, but the old tunes were nice.
There's only so much humor you can wring from a cast comprised almost entirely of current/former basketball players (none of whom can really act) layered in old-man prosthetics. Give this movie's creators credit, they milked just about every possible nugget of comedy they could out of the ridiculously contrived setups.
Just to make sure the film hit all the 'black comedy' notes, there was the stereotypical loud-ass, sassy ex girlfriend who bellowed everything she said. The really smart and sweet young girl who adores her family is also there -- both characters essentially stolen whole cloth from any number of Madea entries.
Stolen too from Madea was the idiotic and abrasive honky clown (a clear case of reverse racism). If a white director put a black shuck and jive character in a movie with the same lizard-like reprehensible qualities that black directors seem to often ascribe to their moronic token white characters? Twitter would be all outraged.
But I digress. Predictable story. Telegraphed ending (stolen partially from Grownups). The same bevy of road-trip tropes we've seen recycled in countless movies. There was nothing new to be seen here, but still.... it didn't offend. It just coasted along to the prescribed end and the people populating the film seemed to enjoy themselves enough that the movie was pleasant enough.
I expected essentially a 90 minute commercial of fake old men playing basketball, which really wasn't good enough for the 90 seconds the commercial got, but in the end it delivered something that, while trite, was a little bit more.
Note to all filmmakers? No more of Shaq's big ass. And I mean that literally. Please?
Equalizer 2I reviewed it about 10 pages ago so respect my authoritie. Actually, I enjoyed this one far more than the first. I thought the first Equalizer was far too slow. As I've said, I'm a big fan of the one-man demolition squad, if they're done right, which this one was IMO. Just enough action and just enough quality Denzelness.
A paint-by-numbers old-guy-kicks-all-kinds-of-ass movie.
Other than Denzel's performance -- one which he essentially phones in, aka sleepwalks through -- there's nothing really new or innovative in this film.
Ex military butt kicker Denzel does personal and private revenge, the kind that if it happened in real life would have him incarcerated within a week. Friend gets killed (and the person behind the killing was clumsily telegraphed, you'd have to be blind not to see it coming) and Denzel takes it murderously personally.
I tend to like Denzel, but he's low-renting it here. Sort of like Liam Neeson in the similar cadre of movies he's done where one old guy wipes out battalions of bad guys with a toothpick and a bottle opener. It's just a payday, nothing more.
Oh there were some well meaning side stories about taking care of your neighborhood and a hilariously unrealistic interjection about walking away from the gangbanging life, but those were just time-stretching filler in order to get to the requisite 90-plus minutes it takes to have a movie.
I just got nothing out of it.
I reviewed it about 10 pages ago so respect my authoritie. Actually, I enjoyed this one far more than the first. I thought the first Equalizer was far too slow. As I've said, I'm a big fan of the one-man demolition squad, if they're done right, which this one was IMO. Just enough action and just enough quality Denzelness.I liked the movie, I just don't buy where one badass could take out an army of badasses. The first one to me at least made logical sense, here's a badass CIA/Spook against Russian Mob Guys. Plausible he could take out 6 in a room. But put 5 CIA/Spooks up against one, meh.
If you want to see one-man demolition done WRONG, see Cold Pursuit, which I reviewed above.
I liked the movie, I just don't buy where one badass could take out an army of badasses. The first one to me at least made logical sense, here's a badass CIA/Spook against Russian Mob Guys. Plausible he could take out 6 in a room. But put 5 CIA/Spooks up against one, meh.Well to be fair, 99% of the one-man flicks are total fantasy and hardly even remotely believable. But I accept that going in. I'm not a huge fan of the one guy taking on 15 baddies at one time, all of whom are packing heat and he wipes them all out with a long, lead pipe that just happened to be laying close by. Jason Statham did too many of those. But here's one of my favorite Statham scenes. Calm, cool and reserved....until you push it too far.
The guy on the tower had one entry point, and he didn't think to cover the ladder...OKay!
Like I said it was a decent watch but I liked the first one better.
Equalizer 2So, it’s like sex with Wes?
I just got nothing out of it.
I liked these movies better when Steven Segal did them.I'm still waiting on the list of movies you have seen in theatres with dates.
It’s the same thing.
Above the Law > Equalizer 1&2 > Death Wish (Willis version).
Captain MarvelI agree with pretty much all of this.
The Marvel team really understands how to do the superhero movie. This isn't a great movie, say on the level of Iron Man, Guardians of the Galaxy or Thor Ragingcrock, but it is better by far than the massively overhyped Black Panther or Thor Dark World or even Dr. Strange.
It's amazing to me how the entire Marvel Universe fits in bits and pieces in the wide expanse of movies. This one, in particular, backfilled so many holes and gaps in the overall storyline and each mini reveal made perfect sense. I was left to wonder if they truly sat down in 2006 or so and scripted this entire thing out to the end, figuring out which movies would contain the tidbits of exposition. My hat is off to whoever is orchestrating this.
Captain Marvel started off in a ball of confusion that lasted a good 20 minutes, but all the things that didn't make initial sense were all tied together in the end. And it was worth it.
The story doesn't fit in the timeline of the current Marvel pantheon. It's a throwback to the 1990s complete with a Blockbuster Video. It's the origin story for the character and by the end it circles all the way back to the end of Avengers: Infinity War as it sets up the final Avengers showdown (coming in April). By the end you know where Captain Marvel came from, how she got her powers and how she and her story dovetail seamlessly into the overall story arc.
There's not a whole lot I can tell you without giving away critical plot points. Captain Marvel (aka Vers, aka Carol Danver) is part of a Cree team of warriors in pursuit of the shape-shifting Skrulls. Eventually captured, she struggles through a series of memories that may possibly be planted. She escapes to 90s era earth. The Skrulls pursue with her Cree compatriots right behind. As Cap/Carol/Vers sorts through her memories to figure out what's real and what's not, she discovers who she truly is, how she got there and the source of her own strength.
Definitely worth the journey.
There were so many good things about this movie. Agent Coulson for one. A young Nick Fury for another. A cat named Goose. Callbacks to a handful of characters from previous entries; guys like Ronan and Korath from Guardians. Like so many Marvel movies it struck a perfect balance between pathos, action, story and humor. I'm truly in awe of how well the Marvel team typically finds that balance.
I got to admit when the obligatory Stan Lee cameo showed up, there must have suddenly been a lot of dust and smoke in the theater because my eyes started stinging. I wasn't expecting it and it punched me in the feels.
Some have complained about the performance of Brie Larson in the title role. She was a little bland and flat but I think that may have been on purpose. For all the immediate magnetism her physical appearance generates, she struggles a bit to elevate the personality beyond a cardboard cutout -- but again that may have been a creative (director's) choice. She doesn't have the glib grace of Tony Stark. But then again, how many movies did it take for Thor to finally be anything other than a stiff and stilted meat suit? Four? Brie is already much more comfortable in her space than Thor was in his for several films. Plus I really liked looking at her. Like a lot. A lot a lot.
If you're invested even a little bit in the Marvel pantheon Captain Marvel is an absolute must. I enjoyed the shining blue crap out of it.
Hint. She wins...even in the dark.
My only beef with the movie, and it is minor: the interior fight scenes were very poorly lit and the action indistinct.
Captain MarvelSee, I thought it was the weakest of any MCU movie (and prior to this, I thought the weakest was either the Hulk or Strange movie). And a lot had to do with her. I think she's just bland. When they played "Just A Girl" during her fight scene, my eyes rolled. I thought her action scenes were boring. Loved the cat, loved Fury and Coulson, loved the Skrulls.
Definitely worth the journey.
See, I thought it was the weakest of any MCU movie (and prior to this, I thought the weakest was either the Hulk or Strange movie). And a lot had to do with her. I think she's just bland. When they played "Just A Girl" during her fight scene, my eyes rolled. I thought her action scenes were boring. Loved the cat, loved Fury and Coulson, loved the Skrulls.I don't disagree with the fact that she's probably the weakest of the characters (personality wise) with maybe the exception of that dude who has a bow and arrows. She's also (in some ways) the least interesting.
But Captain Marvel? Meh. Didn't care one shit about her.
And yes, the Stan Lee cameo was awesome.
And when I say "worth the journey" it's not necessarily because of her, but it's because of all the things from all the other movies that are tied up and/or illuminated by the stops along the way.My biggest concern is that up until now, I think of these Marvel heroes as having some weakness, and they just introduced a character that is the most powerful in the MCU, and they are just going to lean on her to beat Thanos (which is also the reason I never really enjoyed Superman comics).
My biggest concern is that up until now, I think of these Marvel heroes as having some weakness, and they just introduced a character that is the most powerful in the MCU, and they are just going to lean on her to beat Thanos (which is also the reason I never really enjoyed Superman comics).I don't think it will go that way. Would be a cop out if they did.
I hope I'm wrong, I'm really looking forward to Avengers Endgame.
I don't think it will go that way. Would be a cop out if they did.Yeah, they gave him one in Batman Forever but they made that character some kind of kickboxing, sleeps in the nude, nymphomaniac instead of psychotherapist.
And yes, that's why I've always liked Batman best. He has his weaknesses. If we're being honest, he probably needed a therapist more than he needed all that weight training. And he's mortal.
The DirtWhile I agree that this wasn't a deep-dive into their respective psychoses, I enjoyed it quite a bit.
Always liked Motley Crue. Well, let me amend that. I didn't care much for Motley Corabi, but that was a short-lived experiment. It's not that it wasn't "good" music, but it was missing that semi out of control vocal chaos that Vince lent to the sound. The Corabi album was too bland, too pasteurized, too tame. He's a better vocalist than Vince, but so is Pavarotti. I don't really want to hear Pava singing Kickstart My Heart either.
As far as the band goes, I always felt they borrowed heavily from KISS even down to the scene where Nikki tells the rest of the band he "wants to create something people have never seen before" Well, that's the KISS mantra and has been for decades, well before Crue arrived in '81. And everything -- literally everything -- Crue did, KISS did it or did a version of it first. (That even applies to the groupie humping, hotel destroying excess).
This movie? Not really a fan. At various points, starting from the very first scene, I felt it existed in some ways simply as a vehicle to display joyous debauchery with no real attached story. And even at that it barely brushed the story that was the hedonistic rise and fall of Crue.
It played more like a series of "can you believe we really probably did this shit" vignettes than it did as a cohesive story of the band. The film was also extremely lacking in introspection.
I wanted to know why Nikki was in so much emotional pain and see his addiction and recovery played out. I wanted to get a deeper understanding of Vince's resentment of the band and how he dealt with the horrific tragedies (both self-inflicted and natural) that were part of his life.
I didn't need to see Nikki snorting coke off a chick's ass to know that he did that. Showing that (and numerous other scenes of over-the-top behavior) kept the film from reaching deep enough into who the members really were, what drove them, what fed their private demons (and how those demons guided the music). Why not tell the story of Shout at the Devil being written because Nikki's drug-induced dabbling in Satanism took an allegedly bizarre turn (including levitating silverware) -- and how that spooked him out of continuing the satanic imagery.
This movie only dealt with the consequences of their out-of-control behavior in a superficial manner. It didn't give us the story behind the band, it just gave us snippets of glossed over stories from within the band. The entire thing felt like it was just dabbing paint at various dots that had to be connected with no real sense of structure or cohesion.
I didn't hate it. The guys playing the band members -- with the exception of Ramsay Bolton as Mick Mars -- were decent enough. I just didn't feel as if the film cut deep enough to give us the real story. It only gave us the broad brushstrokes of what those of us who know anything about the band already knew. There were no revelations and no real reason to watch it unless you just like Crue music and want to see other people pretending to perform it.
If (when) there is a KISS movie I hope whoever does it will be willing to probe deeper into the real story behind the rise, fall, rise, fall and rise again of my painted heroes. Or maybe I'd really rather not know.
While I agree that this wasn't a deep-dive into their respective psychoses, I enjoyed it quite a bit.Too bad 3/4 of it was fiction unlike the book which is incredibly raw and honest.
If you think they didn't beat us over the head with Nikki's underlying family issues (presumably the genesis of his addictions), then you really weren't paying attention.
I thought Ramsay Bolton was pretty great as Mick...his lines are perfectly timed codger-gold. Figured you'd appreciate that about him.
I liked the narrative style, with each member getting some voice-over time and a chance to share their perspective.
It wasn't serious art, but it was a fun ride (with occasional solemnity) through the 80s with one of my favorite bands of that era.
Too bad 3/4 of it was fiction unlike the book which is incredibly raw and honest.I tell you what wasn't fiction. The boobs I got to see. I give it two thumbs up.
I tell you what wasn't fiction. The boobs I got to see. I give it two thumbs up.The man cuts through the superficial bullshit and gets right to the core of the matter.
The man cuts through the superficial bullshit and gets right to the core of the matter.Oh and I have been with a chick like what was in the opening scene with Tommy Lee. That is some fucking funny assed shit!
Oh and I have been with a chick like what was in the opening scene with Tommy Lee. That is some fudgeing funny assed shoot!Sweaty Betty in Barstow?
Sweaty Betty in Barstow?Negative. This was actually after the Corps if you can believe that.
Remo Williams: The Adventure BeginsWhat the hell happened? Did we go back in time?
I may have gone over this before. I really don't know how this movie flopped. I just think maybe it missed its time. It came out in 1985 in the middle of the Rambo/Commando/Mad Max box office brawn-fest. It was intended as the first in a series of action adventures featuring the reconditioned former street cop re-named after his hospital bedpan and trained by a quirky martial artist.
It floundered at the box office. I just don't get that. It's a fun piece of modern-day Indiana Jonesish action/adventure film. It moves along at a good clip, the performances are good (including a youngish and still hot Kate Mulgrew). Maybe it was that star Fred Ward lacked the muscle-rippling bulk of Stallone or Schwartzenegger. Maybe it was that a PG-13 action romp couldn't find traction in a world that had turned to R-rated versions.
It's one of those movies that I've always liked and feel is truly under appreciated. Fred Ward learns Shinjuto (or something) and battles wits with a shady government-backed organization. The bad guys are cartoonish, the action outlandish. But it's still an easy, no-thought-required sprawl.
Couldn't be made today, though. Joel Grey's Korean Shinjuto master would trigger the entire cultural appropriation warrior class.
What the hell happened? Did we go back in time?Granted, that movie is better than Captain Marvel or Last Jedi.
I can't wait till you review The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. It looks so great I can't wait to see it in theatres.
What the hell happened? Did we go back in time?You shut your dirty whorish mouth. This movie was good and the books are even better.
I can't wait till you review The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. It looks so great I can't wait to see it in theatres.
You shut your dirty whorish mouth. This movie was good and the books are even better.I love that movie. Why you giving me grief?
You move like a pregnant yak.
I love that movie. Why you giving me grief?You never said you liked it. You didn't call. I was hurt.
What the hell happened? Did we go back in time?What part of "way behind" is lost on you?
I can't wait till you review The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension. It looks so great I can't wait to see it in theatres.
What part of "way behind" is lost on you?all of it
all of itperhaps I should have added another "way"
Remo Williams: The Adventure BeginsFun story. I've never made it through this movie without falling asleep. Not as a kid, not as a teenager, not in college, not as an adult. I liked it, but something about it always zonks me out.
I may have gone over this before. I really don't know how this movie flopped. I just think maybe it missed its time. It came out in 1985 in the middle of the Rambo/Commando/Mad Max box office brawn-fest. It was intended as the first in a series of action adventures featuring the reconditioned former street cop re-named after his hospital bedpan and trained by a quirky martial artist.
It floundered at the box office. I just don't get that. It's a fun piece of modern-day Indiana Jonesish action/adventure film. It moves along at a good clip, the performances are good (including a youngish and still hot Kate Mulgrew). Maybe it was that star Fred Ward lacked the muscle-rippling bulk of Stallone or Schwartzenegger. Maybe it was that a PG-13 action romp couldn't find traction in a world that had turned to R-rated versions.
It's one of those movies that I've always liked and feel is truly under appreciated. Fred Ward learns Shinjuto (or something) and battles wits with a shady government-backed organization. The bad guys are cartoonish, the action outlandish. But it's still an easy, no-thought-required sprawl.
Couldn't be made today, though. Joel Grey's Korean Shinjuto master would trigger the entire cultural appropriation warrior class.
Fun story. I've never made it through this movie without falling asleep. Not as a kid, not as a teenager, not in college, not as an adult. I liked it, but something about it always zonks me out.Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work.
Remo Williams: The Adventure BeginsIn college, we had free HBO (hehehe). Every day after class and before work, this movie was on. I think I saw this movie and The Last Starfighter 15 times.
I may have gone over this before. I really don't know how this movie flopped. I just think maybe it missed its time. It came out in 1985 in the middle of the Rambo/Commando/Mad Max box office brawn-fest. It was intended as the first in a series of action adventures featuring the reconditioned former street cop re-named after his hospital bedpan and trained by a quirky martial artist.
It floundered at the box office. I just don't get that. It's a fun piece of modern-day Indiana Jonesish action/adventure film. It moves along at a good clip, the performances are good (including a youngish and still hot Kate Mulgrew). Maybe it was that star Fred Ward lacked the muscle-rippling bulk of Stallone or Schwartzenegger. Maybe it was that a PG-13 action romp couldn't find traction in a world that had turned to R-rated versions.
It's one of those movies that I've always liked and feel is truly under appreciated. Fred Ward learns Shinjuto (or something) and battles wits with a shady government-backed organization. The bad guys are cartoonish, the action outlandish. But it's still an easy, no-thought-required sprawl.
Couldn't be made today, though. Joel Grey's Korean Shinjuto master would trigger the entire cultural appropriation warrior class.
You have way too much time on your hands if you can throw away a couple of hours on a movie that is 99.9% likely to suck sour ass.He should have put the bunny back in the box.
You have way too much time on your hands if you can throw away a couple of hours on a movie that is 99.9% likely to suck sour ass.I love movies. All movies. I can usually find some small glimmer of redemption in anything.
I love movies. All movies. I can usually find some small glimmer of redemption in anything.and you have this thread post to maintain
I'm old. We don't go clubbing, we don't go dancing. A good evening for us is dinner, a movie (any movie), some wine and just hanging out.
Don’t worry. She’s got us.You didn’t just love the girl power moment where everybody from Michonne from Walking Dead to the green gal to stupid ass Gwyneth Paltrow as Ironbitch all got together to carry the ball?
Give me a fucking break.
They base phase 4 around Captain Marvel, they will ruin marvel like they did Star Wars.
You didn’t just love the girl power moment where everybody from Michonne from Walking Dead to the green gal to stupid ass Gwyneth Paltrow as Ironbitch all got together to carry the ball?You forgot Hope Van Dyne, (the Wasp) who apparently left Ant Man who at the time was working on their only plan to be in that little scene. $1 to Jarhead
You forgot Hope Van Dyne, (the Wasp) who apparently left Ant Man who at the time was working on their only plan to be in that little scene. $1 to JarheadDon’t get me started on the kids going back to school.
Don’t get me started on the kids going back to school.We have already discussed this, they have been off from school for 5 years. That is a long enough break.
Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work.
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/-1rfCS7kwK8/hqdefault.jpg)
Weird fact - that is Jennifer grey’s (dirty dancing) father. And now he’s gay. And old.And Korean
Zac Efron's Ted Bundy MovieMark Harmon forever
Zac completely inhabits Bundy.
Other than that, there's not much to recommend here. The timeline skips, the lack of any real meat, the lengths to which the producers went to fabricate situations/events all combined to make a muddled mess of a movie with almost no tension. It just failed to generate the urgency and intensity it needed to.
Other than one brief scene, it didn't let Efron be the Bundy that did all the things that Bundy did. And I think it needed that.
Zac Efron's Ted Bundy MovieI'd also say was this really a movie that needed to be made?
Zac completely inhabits Bundy.
Other than that, there's not much to recommend here. The timeline skips, the lack of any real meat, the lengths to which the producers went to fabricate situations/events all combined to make a muddled mess of a movie with almost no tension. It just failed to generate the urgency and intensity it needed to.
Other than one brief scene, it didn't let Efron be the Bundy that did all the things that Bundy did. And I think it needed that.
Happy Death Day 2 Ummmm Jessica Rothe... something about her makes my pee-pee maker ti..ti..tingle.
The sequel to the surprisingly appealing Happy Death Day.
As before, the movie really lives and dies (and lives and dies again, ha) on the easy, graceful allure of star Jessica Rothe. She transitions so naturally between comedy, drama and pathos that she completely carries the movie and everything and everyone else in it are just set pieces for her to move around with her charm. Without her, this movie doesn't exist.
As for the movie itself? Really wonky science that ties back to the original and flips things around. If you didn't watch the first film, you'll be utterly confused by this one. And there's a good chance you'll be confused anyway because a lot of it just doesn't make sense if you bother to think about it in the slightest.
I assume the producers and director simply hoped that you'd be so taken in by Rothe's performance that you'd ignore everything else that collapses all around her. They're not wrong.
Something about her???? Where would you like me to start?Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass.
Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass.Son....I'm only gonna tell you this once. Lay off the drugs.
Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass.(http://www.funnybeing.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/WTF-Lol.jpg)
Sorry but she looks like a chain-smoking drowned rat. 2 at 10, 6 at 2 on best day. Pass.(http://www.quickmeme.com/img/cf/cf51ba70c7379ebae7bd25d37c37ec95dde7ecb694ffad12e319a1b7a7c58967.jpg)
Saw Aladdin last night. Hey, we watched the cartoon version about 25 times. Happens when you're raising kids. Pretty much spot on remake with a few tweaks. Will Smith played the Genie and while no one could match what Robin Williams brought to the role, Smith was pretty entertaining. It was nostalgic for me and the skirt and if you have young kids, this would be a good one to take them to.I was in that same wheelhouse. Aladdin, Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Pocahontas, Lion King, Hunchback, lilo and stitch, Mulan....
That’s why I don’t want, need or appreciate these live action remakes. Jungle Book was my favorite movie as a kid. The new one was fine I guess but it doesn’t hold a prickly pear to the 1966 version. Didnt watch the new gay-friendly Beauty. Can’t make myself watch this. Gonna pass on Lion King (which was IMO the greatest animated movie of all time and worthy of an Oscar for Best Pic). I’m just gonna leave the past in my behind.How will there be enough room for the jelly dong?
Saw Aladdin last night. Hey, we watched the cartoon version about 25 times. Happens when you're raising kids. Pretty much spot on remake with a few tweaks. Will Smith played the Genie and while no one could match what Robin Williams brought to the role, Smith was pretty entertaining. It was nostalgic for me and the skirt and if you have young kids, this would be a good one to take them to.We were able to watch here at St. Jude and I was pleasantly surprised.
The Highwaymen
Netflix moving teaming Kevin Costner and Woody Harrelson as the former Texas Rangers who teamed up to take down Bonnie and Clyde.
The film tried really hard to de-romanticize the killer duo and in doing so took some creative liberties. While it's cool and all to portray Bonnie as a stone-cold killer the truth was she may never have even fired a gun. Where prior Bonnie and Clyde films have all been shot from the perspective of the doomed couple, this film stayed almost exclusively with the viewpoint of Frank Hamer and Maney Gault, the two retired Texas Rangers who were brought back into play for the express purpose of tracking down -- and killing -- the two outlaws. In fact, Bonnie and Clyde are little more than bit players in this film. No speaking lines. Their nondescript faces don't even show except for a brief second when they realize what's coming at the end.
The film meandered along to its already well known conclusion, adding nothing new but fabricated details. Gruff Costner and broken Harrelson had an easy old-man chemistry that carried what was otherwise a pretty lightweight film. That's about all there was to it, really. Costner and Harrelson playing off each other in what could have been a movie about practically any road trip.
Kathy Bates shows up looking like boiled hell as the Texas Governor.
Just not that much to recommend.
Spiderman: Into the MultiverseGood to hear this. I had seen it on teh netflix and breezed past it.
Not sure what I expected, but I was pleasantly surprised. It was funny, it was dramatic, it was touching. Marvel/Sony really knows how to make superhero movies -- even when they're animated.
One of the better movies I've seen in a while. Don't know why it took me so long to watch it.
Good to hear this. I had seen it on teh netflix and breezed past it.It’s different. Requires you to just sit back and enjoy it without thinking too much about how it fits into the pantheon or the logical possibilities.
From what ive read, this version above is much closer to how it actually was. Romanticized is probably not a strong enough word for the tale of Bonnie and Clyde.I took a tour of Tombstone a few years ago, and was disappointed to learn that the Gunfight at the OK Corral actually occurred in the vacant lot behind the OK Corral, but that didn't fit on a Hollywood marquee.
Even more romanticized is the fight at the OK Corral. It was seriously much of nothing. Hollywood does a good job of making it the stuff of legend. Much disappoint to all the Tombstone fanboys of the world.
I took a tour of Tombstone a few years ago, and was disappointed to learn that the Gunfight at the OK Corral actually occurred in the vacant lot behind the OK Corral, but that didn't fit on a Hollywood marquee.I was as disappointed as anyone at the OK coral story. Fuckin Hollywood.
Boothill is pretty much exactly how you would imagine. Although some of the more famous headstones that you've seen in movies are fake, and put there purely to drive tourism.
I was as disappointed as anyone at the OK coral story. Fuckin Hollywood.Wait until you hear about the Nurrahmaid.
Robin Hood (2018)I haven't seen it, but do tell how they work that agenda in a Robin Hood story.
Tried to watch it. Tend to like Eggsy or whatever his name is.
This is nothing but pro-Islam propaganda. Very disappointed in it. Glad it bombed.
I haven't seen it, but do tell how they work that agenda in a Robin Hood story.Robin's mentor/trainer is a Moor seeking revenge for the execution of his son by Crusaders.
Robin's mentor/trainer is a Moor seeking revenge for the execution of his son by Crusaders.Yeah, they screwed all that up. Jamie Foxx is Lil John. Pfffftttt.
HahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhasaaahhshshshshahahahaahahaaWon’t be funny when they kill you first.
Men in Black International
Almost went to see this in the theatres, glad I didn't. Wasn't bad just wasn't really anything, just another Men in Black movie nothing stood out and I thought it was kind of missing the campiness of the Will Smith ones. Verdict: watch it on cable.
Once Upon A Time In HollywoodI know that up until the final 20 minutes, I kept wondering why I hadn't seen Margot Robbie's tits yet. And then the final 20 minutes happened, and I forgot about not seeing her tits, until the credits rolled and then I was mad her tits hadn't shown up (spoilers).
AnnihilationI liked that movie much more when it was called Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
I remember watching 2001: A Space Odyssey when I was a kid. I thought it was pretty and the colors, tone, feel and music were all mesmerizing. But I had no freaking idea what was going on.
Well. Here I am again.
Annihilation was a pretty movie with dreamy visuals. It felt nice. But I had no idea what was going on. Mutated plants were taking over? Mangy bears learned to talk? People turned into bushes, or bushes turned into people? It was a metaphor for cancer, as in the world got cancer and you had to nearly kill everything to get rid of it -- but did you really get it all or is it coming back? Was it a metaphor for shattered relationships? Did any of that crap even happen?
Fact is? I really don't care. There just wasn't enough about this movie to make me care about any of the people or what happened (or didn't) to them.
All it really has to recommend it is some trippy visuals. And that's not nearly enough.
this franchise could very well be creeping in my top 25 movies watched though as a collective unit.When will you give us a Pennywise movie quote on the text string?
When will you give us a Pennywise movie quote on the text string?Wait....you guys have a text string?
Beautiful BoyMichael Scarn? Steve Carell
I like Michael Scarn. I'd like to see him have a career beyond the goofy Michael Scott type persona. I thought he was pretty good in Foxcatcher. Not great, but good enough. I thought he was decent enough in The Big Short. But he was also atrocious in both Burt Wonderstone, Schmucks, Seeking a Friend and The Way Way Back. I heard he was awkward and offputting in Marwen.
In Beautiful Boy, a film about a family struggling with a son's addition, Michael Scarn is completely out of his depth. His interactions with his ex wife (coincidentally Holly Flax), his current wife (coincidentally Robert California's wife), and his other kids seem artificial and forced. He can't do anger, he can't do pathos, he can't do anguish well. It's just out of his range.
I've watched Intervention for years. I really felt like this movie soft-pedaled the harsh realities of addiction. While it showed little Eve Baxter (from Last Man Standing) suffering the effects of an overdose, none of the addicts portrayed in the movie seemed broken enough to be as involved in the life as they were supposed to be.
Combine the failure to establish the desperation of addition with Scarn's inability to find the needed emotional depth with a horrifyingly bad and jarring score and you end up with a movie that strains for authenticity but ends up coming off as less than light weight. Like asking your dad for a pair of Underarmour shoes and he shows up with Dollar General bobos that he insists are just as good. Or going to see Goldfinger and the theater shows Threat Level Midnight instead.
It's "based on a true story" and could have been a compelling piece of work in the right hands. This movie rose and fell on the strength of Michael Scarn as the lead role. Unfortunately, it fell.
Michael Scarn? Steve CarellSomebody never watched Threat Level Midnight. Goldenface, is that you?
How’s the obama joint venture Netflix company doing these days?Waiting for Disney+ to get into range and fire.
El Camino
I get that Aaron Paul has no other career path and that there may some day be an entire Jesse Pinkman series/film/whatever to keep him employed.
Your quote above, though, is dead fucking wrong. AP has 3 season's worth of The Path as lead, he's star/producer of 5-6 seasons of BoJack Horseman, and he's in the upcoming season of Westworld.The what? Bo which? West where?
Is this a 'get off my lawn' moment?
Waiting for Disney+ to get into range and fire.I think you have that backwards
The what? Bo which? West where?I loved West World.
The only one of those things I've heard of is Westworld. Tried it, didn't like it, thought it was canceled.
Is this a 'get off my lawn' moment?
I loved West World.Little known Biblical fact. The reason Moses was able to get those people out of Egypt was because Yul Brynner was only 5'8". Charlton Heston was 6'3". He would have kicked Pharoah's ass.
Yul Brynner was badass!
I thoroughly enjoyed it. You got some color on the psychological breaking of Jesse...and what an utter black hole of a human Todd turns out to be.Mr. Peanut Butter sucks though.
Your quote above, though, is dead fucking wrong. AP has 3 season's worth of The Path as lead, he's star/producer of 5-6 seasons of BoJack Horseman, and he's in the upcoming season of Westworld.
Jesse stays working.
Anyone see Zombieland 2?Is that the one with Bill Murray?
Anyone see Zombieland 2?Have not, but it's definitely on the list.
Have not, but it's definitely on the list.The cut a bitch list?
3 From Hell
Always liked Devil’s Rejects. It’s an outlandish tale of unexplained mayhem. Liked House of 1000 Corpses too but not as much.
This is a continuation of the Devils Rejects storyline. And it’s awful.
It’s up there with the worst movies I’ve ever seen. Rob Zombie can make some creepy great music. Some of his stuff i enjoy a lot. He can occasionally hit the random mark with a movie (Rejects). This? Total dog shit.
He has no feel for story, no sense of pacing, no concept of plot. It’s just a mish mash of ridiculously bad dialogue, horrible performances and idiotic mayhem for the sake of mayhem. The man should never make another movie.
It’s bad. I’m going to try to forget I watched it so it doesn’t shit on the legacy of the two I did like.
Damn that was awful.
Different level of hell.
so bad it made the game seem better?
After K reviewed the new Pet Semetary I decided to watch it. I was indifferent to it. Like any other King novel-to-movie there is probably more to it than the movie is able to convey. Or just refuses to display. I knew going in it wouldn’t be a blockbuster so I just enjoyed it. Also enjoyed the differences in the original. Not good. Not bad. Just meh.I'm sure yours is. I'm Hallow Claus. I don't have a party. Just hundreds of people show up at my house to get treats.
So it being Halloween - and it being a time I like on the calendar - I decided to catch the original two Pet Semetary movies last night on some channel. Dare I say they were both better than the new one. This was only the second time I had seen #2. Which I had no idea was filmed in newnan ga - right up 85 from auburn.
Like K says a lot - it’s very hard to do a king novel and be able to convey the multiple dimensions and levels of the dudes head. Knowing that helps to enjoy his movies more not expecting as much.
My Halloween party also is better than his. Regardless of what he says.
I'm sure yours is. I'm Hallow Claus. I don't have a party. Just hundreds of people show up at my house to get treats.I kid. From the tales I’ve heard and seen in pics, I can’t touch it. Its getting better each year but still not K level Halloween fest.
The IrishmanI still like the Deer Hunter. Only because he’s so young in it that I forget it’s him.
I was really looking forward to this Netflix release. Martin Scorsese bringing together Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Al Pacino, Harvey Keitel, Bobby Canavale, Katherine Narducci (who I LOVED as Charmaine Bucco in Sopranos), and Jesse Plemons in a mob movie. What could possibly go wrong? It seemed like a combination of Godfather + Casino + Pulp Fiction + Sopranos + Oz + Breaking Bad. If they'd just tossed in Ray Liotta and Goodfellas, it would have been perfect -- or so I would have thought.
I didn't make it past the first 30 minutes. Horrible. Just awful.
1. I couldn't separate DeNiro the actor from DeNiro the deranged asshole who spouts anti-American rhetoric and is a vulgar, ignorant fuckwad. I despise him personally. Can still watch Godfather, Casino and Goodfellas and keep those separate because that came before, but I simply couldn't make that distinction here. Fuck this guy.
2. They used some really tacky and ill-fitting CGI age transformation techniques that tried to turn old crusty DeNiro into a younger version of himself. All that accomplished was to come off looking like the dead-eyed creepy kids in Polar Express. It was really bad and distracting.
3. Pesci looks really sick. He's shriveled, wrinkled and wasted away. Something was weird about his face and mouth. Again, really distracting and I just couldn't get past it.
4. It's three and a half hours long. Maybe it gets better later, but the first 30 minutes were mind-numbingly boring. I just didn't want any more of it. Turned it off.
5. If I could have gotten past my absolute loathing of DeNiro, the shockingly bad CGI and the disturbing look of Pesci their performances (or what I saw of them) were awful. Like caricatures of the people they used to be; ill-fitting suits they once wore and tried on again just for fun. They are so far past their prime that the performances I saw seemed more like actors trying to pretend to be them and coming across as wooden imitators rather than the real thing. DeNiro was particularly awful, mugging and shrugging and smirking like any one of a hundred comedians who've done a DeNiro "you talkin' to me?" take.
I know there are people who love this movie and will defend it as the glorious bookend to the Godfather, Casino, Goodfellas pantheon. I'm not one of them.
I was truly excited to watch this movie and bitterly, bitterly disappointed in the god-awful trudge I endured for what little I could stand.
Also? Fuck Robert DeNiro.
The IrishmanAgreed!!
I was really looking forward to this Netflix release. Martin Scorsese bringing together Robert DeNiro, Joe Pesci, Al Pacino, Harvey Keitel, Bobby Canavale, Katherine Narducci (who I LOVED as Charmaine Bucco in Sopranos), and Jesse Plemons in a mob movie. What could possibly go wrong? It seemed like a combination of Godfather + Casino + Pulp Fiction + Sopranos + Oz + Breaking Bad. If they'd just tossed in Ray Liotta and Goodfellas, it would have been perfect -- or so I would have thought.
I didn't make it past the first 30 minutes. Horrible. Just awful.
1. I couldn't separate DeNiro the actor from DeNiro the deranged asshole who spouts anti-American rhetoric and is a vulgar, ignorant fuckwad. I despise him personally. Can still watch Godfather, Casino and Goodfellas and keep those separate because that came before, but I simply couldn't make that distinction here. Fuck this guy.
2. They used some really tacky and ill-fitting CGI age transformation techniques that tried to turn old crusty DeNiro into a younger version of himself. All that accomplished was to come off looking like the dead-eyed creepy kids in Polar Express. It was really bad and distracting.
3. Pesci looks really sick. He's shriveled, wrinkled and wasted away. Something was weird about his face and mouth. Again, really distracting and I just couldn't get past it.
4. It's three and a half hours long. Maybe it gets better later, but the first 30 minutes were mind-numbingly boring. I just didn't want any more of it. Turned it off.
5. If I could have gotten past my absolute loathing of DeNiro, the shockingly bad CGI and the disturbing look of Pesci their performances (or what I saw of them) were awful. Like caricatures of the people they used to be; ill-fitting suits they once wore and tried on again just for fun. They are so far past their prime that the performances I saw seemed more like actors trying to pretend to be them and coming across as wooden imitators rather than the real thing. DeNiro was particularly awful, mugging and shrugging and smirking like any one of a hundred comedians who've done a DeNiro "you talkin' to me?" take.
I know there are people who love this movie and will defend it as the glorious bookend to the Godfather, Casino, Goodfellas pantheon. I'm not one of them.
I was truly excited to watch this movie and bitterly, bitterly disappointed in the god-awful trudge I endured for what little I could stand.
Also? Fuck Robert DeNiro.
Rambo: From First to Last Blood
No explanation of how he left the jungle to become Josey Wales, no real exposition on how he met this family, how he came to take on the parental role, why he dug a bunch of fucking rat-tunnels on his property -- other than all those set pieces were needed to provide convenient plot points.
https://youtu.be/Z-8vsTw4yQ4?t=105Well damn. I had forgotten the end. Thanks for reminding me how it ties in. I retract that portion of the review.
Well damn. I had forgotten the end. Thanks for reminding me how it ties in. I retract that portion of the review.My biggest gripe of the movie was when he was in Mexico and those guys didn't shoot him. I would have rather they made some stupid non-sensical impossible Rambo goes off and rescues the girl at that time, then they go after him and try to get her back (cue to underground mines).
Man he got old over the last decade though.
My biggest gripe of the movie was when he was in Mexico and those guys didn't shoot him. I would have rather they made some stupid non-sensical impossible Rambo goes off and rescues the girl at that time, then they go after him and try to get her back (cue to underground mines).Mine really started before that. In what world does Rambo just roll up in the middle of that, completely unprepared, and get the shit kicked out of him anyway?
Rather than hey lets beat the shit outta this guy and not kill him....tha fuck....you are in Mexico. Shoot the motherfucker in the head. /rollcredits
I’ve been holding off watching Joker, because, like you, I’ve been a Batman fan my whole life. And I don’t think the Joker needs an origin story, even though I really enjoyed Killing Joke (the comic, haven’t seen the movie). Quite frankly, I don’t believe the Joker knows his own origin, since he’s insane. That’s why I believe it changes in the comic. Is Killing Joke his origin? Could be, depending on Joker’s mood at the time.
I supposed I’ll eventually watch it, though.
(Sympathy for the) JokerWell Shit!
I held off reviewing this movie because I wanted to see it a second time through. Glad I did.
My first impression was that the movie was beautifully shot. It’s not a masterpiece but it does a credible job of providing a completely revised but perfectly viable and reasonable origin story for two of the greatest characters in comic history. Joaquin Phoenix was really good but I’m not convinced he wasn’t just being himself. The tone and color was immersive. As a lifelong Batman fan and someone who knows entirely too much about the Dark Knight/Clown Prince mythology I was mesmerized at first by the final act.
But then....I watched it again.
Freed from the constraints of not knowing how it all played out, I was able to see the film for what it really is. This movie is a Bernie Sanders wet dream. It's what Elizabeth Warren and AOC scissor to.
Masked citizens take to the streets, chant profanities at the wealthy elite, attack the police with impunity. They're energized by a downtrodden man who's had enough of being taken advantage of and who inspires them by a random act of murderous mayhem.
I know the Joker. I know him just as well as Bruce Wayne. The Joker is not some fed up guy in makeup moved to action by twisted mommy issues and a hatred for the rich folks who have the nice things he wishes he had.
The Joker is a straight psychopath. He doesn't hate the elite, he wants to BE the elite. He's not motivated by sorrow or anguished rage. He's motivated by greed, pride, lust and the lunatic voices in his head.
Turning Joker into the defacto head of Antifa is pathetic.
But this is what Hollywood is. It's what it has been for years. When they can't win the war against conservatism, pragmatism, capitalism and patriotism directly by beating us over the head with it, they revert to subtlety like this. It's hard to watch this movie and not feel bad for sad sack Arthur Fleck and his downtrodden life.
I know The Joker. The last thing that insane motherfucker would want is your sympathy.
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/77/5f/4e/775f4ece26b83907f03c863a269b93b6.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F507569820494366725%2F&psig=AOvVaw08LfXeij5Vg764PZEWzUsn&ust=1580855478597000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKjy3ty3tucCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE)Far superior to this movie.
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/77/5f/4e/775f4ece26b83907f03c863a269b93b6.jpg) (https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.pinterest.com%2Fpin%2F507569820494366725%2F&psig=AOvVaw08LfXeij5Vg764PZEWzUsn&ust=1580855478597000&source=images&cd=vfe&ved=0CAIQjRxqFwoTCKjy3ty3tucCFQAAAAAdAAAAABAE)Das gute, ja....ja ja das gute!
Zombieland: Double Tap
Third in a short series of Movies on a Plane
I didn't have really high expectations for this movie. The first one was so close to being that perfect mix that it would have been nearly impossible to recreate that chemistry. The original was fun and surprising. Did you see the double cross coming in the grocery store when the girls swiped the car? Did you anticipate Bill Murray's entry and arc?
There was no way this movie could live up to that standard. And it didn't.
It wasn't bad. It had its moments. But it just didn't rise to the level of the original.
It was more benign.
The addition of one of those insufferable Wilson brothers and Richard from Silicon Valley as Tallahassee/Columbus doppelgangers didn't elevate the script like I think they expected it to. The bubble-head girl and beatnick guy (who was on Victorious if you had girls in the 90s, you'll know him) really didn't add the punch I assume they were supposed to provide.
If I'd never seen Zombieland I probably would have liked this better. Zombieland was a tasty pizza filled with great ingredients and properly baked. This was more like a cone of cotton candy. It was good, but sort of forgettable.
Didn't hate it. Didn't love it. Pretty much forgotten it. I can tell you much more about the original than I can about this one. It just didn't stick with me.
Which one is that?
I look forward to your review of Zombieland 2.
Which one is that?Yep
Which one is that?Anybody seen that one?
Anybody seen that one?Must have missed it.
Must have missed it.Gate A
Gate A2:30
2:30Mountain time?
Mountain time?GMT
If I had the invisible powers, I'd sneak in and look at Jennifer Aniston's t-t hole.But what would you do with a million dollars?
MidsommarWrong. It's a piece of art along the lines of 2001: A Space Odyssey or Citizen Kane. You need a few passes through it to get it completely. This movie should have been the Oscar front runner but the stodginess of the academy prevented it.
I really wasn't sure about watching this movie. I should have trusted my instincts.
Wrong. It's a piece of art along the lines of 2001: A Space Odyssey or Citizen Kane. You need a few passes through it to get it completely. This movie should have been the Oscar front runner but the stodginess of the academy prevented it.It’s a piece alright. A fucked up piece of shit.
It’s a piece alright. A fucked up piece of shit.They don't call him the best movie critic in the business for nothin', folks.
Midsommar
I really wasn't sure about watching this movie. I should have trusted my instincts.
I took a chance on it because I thought I might like Florence Pugh. Hadn't made up my mind on her as an actress. She's done some stuff that is intriguing and has a major part on the upcoming Marvel film Black Widow. This was her movie to carry.
The plot is essentially this: A bunch of Americans join their Swedish college friend at his hometown's summer solstice celebration, a nine-day affair that he promises to be fun, food and song.
Weird food, weird song, no fun at all.
The movie was a long, slow, torturous slog through some of the oddest rituals on screen. I won't bother to spoil it for you in case you want to subject yourself to this horseshit. But it's weird.
The movie opened with something like a suicide and then a bawling, screaming crying scene by Pugh that was horrifying and not in the manner in which the director likely intended. I wanted it to stop, and not because I had any sympathy or empathy for her character. Just stop, please stop. And it's repeated more than once through this film, including one scene that's a billion times worse.
At the end, I decided that I do not like Florence Pugh. Not one little bit.
This movie was like deep sea fishing: long periods of interminable boredom punctuated by moments of sheer panic/terror.I never got the panic/terror. Fucko weirdness, yeah. But not the other. It was so slow moving anything that could have been reached that level was telegraphed well before it came to pass.
Was not expecting this one to be a graphic/gross as it was.
I never got the panic/terror. Fucko weirdness, yeah. But not the other. It was so slow moving anything that could have been reached that level was telegraphed well before it came to pass.I was referring to the characters' panic/terror. The movie was gross (suicide jumping/face bashing...plus the flayed living lung-boy in the barn) but not terribly scary.
In your esteemed opinion: Art or shit?
There are movies I don't like initially that I end up loving on second or third pass (Pulp Fiction comes to mind). But Midsommar? I'd rather watch a three hour marathon of the Bear Bryant show dubbed over in German or Portuguese than even half an hour of that nightmare. I absolutely despise Florence Pugh now. She grated on me that much. Not sure I want to ever see anything else she's in.
The middle-aged sex assisters was an odd moment.Really? That was exactly like my first time.
Really? That was exactly like my first time.That would explain so so much.
The middle-aged sex assisters was an odd moment.I thought you liked Snaggle?
Good Will Hunting is one of those movies that I've come across 100 times and never watched more than 10 minutes of. I finally took the time to take in the whole movie last night. I'm sure most have seen it so no need for any kind of review, just a few takeaways. Robin Williams was a talented, tormented individual. Amazing, to me anyway, how the guy could go from bouncing off the walls, ad lib comedy to effectively playing such serious roles. Good Morning Vietnam was a perfect example of both ends of the spectrum. Crazy, outrageous radio personality, to dealing with some serious shit. Anyway, like him or not, I always enjoyed his work.:facepalm:
I didn't realize that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck wrote this and won some Academy Awards for it. Not bad for a couple of 20 somethings. I enjoyed it overall. The only drawback was the overdone Bahstan accents. Not a fan of everyone talking like they work on one the Wicked Tuna boats. Ya' wicked pissah.
:facepalm:I will punch you in the arm hard enough to leave a mark.
I will punch you in the arm hard enough to leave a mark.There was so much facepalm in what you said I had to use Senator Tubs facepalm because I don't want to comment about all of it. However, I have to make comment about your Boston accents remark, you do know that MATT DAMON and Affleck are originally from Boston right? You also do realize that the area that the characters are from Southie, the people really sound like that. Those aren't overdone accents, it's legit the accent. I know several people that sound like that.
There was so much facepalm in what you said I had to use Senator Tubs facepalm because I don't want to comment about all of it. However, I have to make comment about your Boston accents remark, you do know that MATT DAMON and Affleck are originally from Boston right? You also do realize that the area that the characters are from Southie, the people really sound like that. Those aren't overdone accents, it's legit the accent. I know several people that sound like that.Yeah, he got that SMATPAK
The middle-aged sex assisters was an odd moment.Could have just said "Snags."
There was so much facepalm in what you said I had to use Senator Tubs facepalm because I don't want to comment about all of it. However, I have to make comment about your Boston accents remark, you do know that MATT DAMON and Affleck are originally from Boston right? You also do realize that the area that the characters are from Southie, the people really sound like that. Those aren't overdone accents, it's legit the accent. I know several people that sound like that.Yes I do know. Okay, maybe not "overdone" but my point is, I don't like it. It's a fucked up accent and irritates the hell out of me. Same thing with shows like Goodfellas and yes, The Sopranos. Different accent but I don't care how good the story is if I have to listen to hours and hours of a bunch of guidos going, Fuck youz guyz. Fuck ya' mutha and fuck you. Capeesh?
Yes I do know. Okay, maybe not "overdone" but my point is, I don't like it. It's a fucked up accent and irritates the hell out of me. Same thing with shows like Goodfellas and yes, The Sopranos. Different accent but I don't care how good the story is if I have to listen to hours and hours of a bunch of guidos going, Fuck youz guyz. Fuck ya' mutha and fuck you. Capeesh?I wasn’t.
And you don't have to yell Matt Damon's name.
That would explain so so much.The only real difference was the old lady at mine licked her finger and diddle doodled in the asshole.
There was so much facepalm in what you said I had to use Senator Tubs facepalm because I don't want to comment about all of it. However, I have to make comment about your Boston accents remark, you do know that MATT DAMON and Affleck are originally from Boston right? You also do realize that the area that the characters are from Southie, the people really sound like that. Those aren't overdone accents, it's legit the accent. I know several people that sound like that.
Star Wars: Episode IX The Bloat of the AbsurdSo, you're saying the movie sucks?
Hokey, overwrought tripe.
Adam Driver is the worst choice ever to play Darth Mendelbaum. Just didn't like him in particular or really like any of the other characters, but that's an ongoing problem since baby Anakin and Jar Jar days. Poe and Finn are the fudgeing worst. I wish they'd both been disintegrated by a death ray two movies ago. The whole "I am your father" shoot repeated time after time loses effectiveness.
Enormous, ridiculous plot black holes. Hokey stilted dialogue.
If you kill me I will rise! Oh you killed me, we all die!
The first three movies were space blasting fun and perfect for that era. But they don't even hold up over time. And then, because they were successful, Lucas (I guess?) started to take the "mythology" seriously with the mumbo-iest jumbo imaginable.
That led us to this wheelbarrow full of manure. It wasn't a dump truck load of manure like the film before this one, but it was a pretty stinky load.
I spent far too much of the film laughing at the ridiculous overacting and hammy plot (when I wasn't openly scoffing at the planet-sized plot potholes).
Take away the Star Wars nostalgia overlay and this was a terrible movie. Just terrible.
So, you're saying the movie sucks?I get paid by the word
Yesterday"Hey Dude" reaffirmed why I don't like the ginger.
Harmless fluff of a movie.
English Indian has a bike accident and wakes up to a world where The Beatles (and a lot of other things) never existed. So he steals all their songs and becomes famous.
Not a big fan of the ending, but the movie flowed easily along and had a funny moment or two. Nothing groundbreaking.
It does make you realize just how much those four guys created in a decade or so. Unbelievable music catalog. And that's just taking into consideration what was the collective, not the individual projects of each of the four. Love them or hate them, you can't deny the legacy. So much music that will resonate as long as there are people to hear it.
"Hey Dude" reaffirmed why I don't like the ginger.I miss the old days of nickelodeon
but I retain an emotional attachment to Fast Times at Ridgemont High (very much so, it's probably forever in my Top 10),I still contend that from top to bottom the soundtrack for Fast Times is one of the most solid that has ever come out. Most soundtracks these days (and for a long while) do not even include all of the songs in the movie. I assume because of licensing fees.
Uncut Gems
Didn't really know what to expect. Don't much like Adam Sandler, but I'd read that this was his resurrection from the lazy, scraping-the-bottom-of-the-barrel attempts at comedy his spectacularly shitty films (yes, even the abhorrent Grown Ups) had become. There were rumors that he was purposely making terrible movies just to see how low the movie-going populace would go.
I've seen other comedic actors try to change their career path with varying degrees of success. I just don't think Sandler really made the seismic shift he was hoping for. He was the same goofy, annoying schlump he is in every other movie, except he limited the lame comedic lines and didn't mug as much.
I wanted to enjoy the movie and was semi-invested in the outcome, but the perpetual wheeling and dealing, the steady stream of shady deal stacked on top of another shady deal backed by another shady deal actually grew tiresome. The rapid-fire, talk-oriented pace tired me out.
The biggest problem I had with this movie is I didn't know who I was "for."
Did I want Sandler's scummy character to win in the end?
Did I want his slutty girlfriend to come out on top?
Did I want his frosty wife and snotty kids to be the victor?
Did I want his low-life family members to win?
Did I want his double-dealing friend to make the score?
Did I want entitled Kevin Garnett to take it home?
There were zero likeable characters, none of whom I felt deserved to take a victory lap. When you want them all to lose, all to fail, all to end up with nothing -- that doesn't work. You need a protagonist. If every character in the film is an antagonist and you don't have that one guy to root for even a little? It leaves you hanging. Every single character had a very small vein of okayness, but all were despicable at their core.
One good thing? He knocked on his neighbor's door and it was John Amos. Guy was onscreen for less than 30 seconds. But he was there. Made me smile. Beastmaster mode.
The GentlemenAgreed. Not flashy, but a solid film with a great cast.
This is the kind of movie they don’t make any more. Which may be why I liked it.
It was a meandering, talkative gangster-ish film with a British sensibility.
Matthew McCongaheyhey as an American with the U.K. weed market sewn up. He’s ready to retire. The film follows the bloody trails of the rivals with designs on taking him out.
Clever performance by Hugh Grant. Collin Farrell (don’t know why I like him but he’s good again here) as a low-level street hood who gets drawn into the fray. Some guy with a beard through whom the story threads wind (my girls knew him I had no idea. Charlie Hoffman or something).
The story moved along at a good pace, things weren’t always what they seemed and the misdirection was both well placed and well handled.
The guy who directed Sherlock Holmes (with Downey Jr) and Snatch amidst a pot full of real stinkfests did this movie.
I thought it was good and didn’t get the attention it deserved.
Dr SleepMostly agree with this, but I thought this was a rare instance of the movie that is better than the book, if only at the end. The cinematic ending (with all the Overlook's creepy crawlies) was FAR superior to the book's psychic showdown.
There’s no real middle ground when bringing a Stephen King novel to the screen. The two choices are to make it so long that it borders on interminable or leave gaps in the pursuit of brevity.
Dr. Sleep — the follow up to Stanley Kubrick’s (greatly overrated) version of The Shining — lands in the latter category. It’s not bad as a stand-alone movie but because it didn’t have or take the time to fill in some of the blank spaces it didn’t resonate as well as it could have.
Just one for-instance. The movie didn’t give me nearly enough insight into True Knot - the semi-eternal traveling crew of vampires of the psychic who feed not on blood but fear (maybe? But that doesn’t much explain their hunger for people with psychic abilities).
And another... it only briefly glossed over grown Danny Torrance’s work in a nursing home and the death-sensing cat azarel before just abandoning that entire storyline.
Overall it was fairly well done. It’s just not a good enough story, really, to carry the weight of a feature film.
Ewan McGregor was his usual terrible, worthless, sack of sawdust self. His lackluster performance really helped drag the movie down. I don’t know why anyone takes him seriously as an actor. He’s just not good. In anything.
On the flip side there was something so raw and plainly sexy about the leader of the True Knot (Rebecca Ferguson) that I kept watching just to see her. Don’t know what it was about her but I think i would have to let her eat me. She just oozed it.
The story was so sparse and the rules of engagement so arbitrary that too much of it made little sense.
Still, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen and not the worst of King (Maximum Overdrive or the almost unwatchable Rob Lowe/Gary Sinese version of The Stand come to mind).
There is a nice shoutout to something that appeals to me early on when drunk Danny is leaving the apartment of his hookup whore. I may be the only person on earth who caught it.
Mostly agree with this, but I thought this was a rare instance of the movie that is better than the book, if only at the end. The cinematic ending (with all the Overlook's creepy crawlies) was FAR superior to the book's psychic showdown.Agreed on that.
no one seen any movies since Labor Day eh?I watched Anna Does Anal I, II and III last night. Didn't see the need to review any of them because "Anna" taking a lot of cock up the ass is pretty much the plot in all 3. I thought the titles were self-explanatory.
I watched Anna Does Anal I, II and III last night. Didn't see the need to review any of them because "Anna" taking a lot of cock up the ass is pretty much the plot in all 3. I thought the titles were self-explanatory.
You spelled Andy wrong.Well. He USED to be Andy.
Hi,I saw this movie in the theater several years ago. Got up and walked out in the middle. Your taste in movies is for shit.
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Porky'sTop 10 comedy scenes for me.
If you can get through the scene where Beulah is asking for a tallywhacker lineup while the coaches break up in the background without laughing at all? We're not going to agree on much.
Top 10 comedy scenes for me.Can’t disagree.
Christmas two-ferHe’s pretty damn funny in Daddy’s Home 2 if you can get past your disdain for will ferell. Ferell actually isn’t his silly normal self in this one. He’s a beta male who is shamed by both Gibson and wahlberg’s alpha male roles. Good stuff.
Took in a pair of Christmas-ish movies today while working on some projects.
Anna and the Apocalypse
Started this not knowing what it was. Turns out it was - get this - a Scottish Christmas Zombie Teen Musical. That's right. High School Musical with zombies. When the first song broke, I almost turned it off thinking "how could this possibly be any good."
Fatman
Mel Gibson as a world-weary Santa pursued by a hit-man (Walton Goggins) with a score to settle. Watching Mel channel his elder Lethal Weapon as Jolly Ol' Saint Nick? That had to be fun.
I couldn't have been more wrong about either.
I stuck Anna out at first mainly because the lead was intriguing and solid. So many teen movies are so stupid in how they portray kids, getting the behaviors and interactions completely wrong. This one didn't. It missed a little with the stereotypical bullying act, but it wasn't completely over the top. The song and dance numbers were more than I needed and some of the parts were gleefully/purposely over-acted but this wasn't a bad little film. I probably won't watch it again, but it was better than I expected. Didn't always anticipate the action that was coming, enjoyed watching the lead actresses (including a blonde in a beiber haircut). Just a little puff of a movie that hit enough of the right notes to surprise.
Fatman I stuck out because I kept hoping it would improve. It did not. A flimsy story, carried dourly along by Gibson and Goggins. No joy, no fun. I think they were aiming for dark humor but they failed miserably to achieve it. It was pretty awful, honestly. I won't watch it again and I don't recommend it.
He’s pretty damn funny in Daddy’s Home 2 if you can get past your disdain for will ferell. Ferell actually isn’t his silly normal self in this one. He’s a beta male who is shamed by both Gibson and wahlberg’s alpha male roles. Good stuff.Did not see II, but the first one was pretty good.
Did not see II, but the first one was pretty good.It's hard to get past Ferrell's dumbassity. He ruins every movie he's in except for Elf.
It's hard to get past Ferrell's dumbassity. He ruins every movie he's in except for Elf.Total change in direction for him in daddy’s home. I would not steer you wrong maestro.
Coming 2 AmericaIf "Loudmouth Leslie" was one of the movie's bright spots I will NOT EVER be watching. She's obnoxious.
I was texting with the cool group, GF and GH, when I was about 20 minutes in. GF said he turned it off about that time and GH hit the nail on the head. 2 is just a walk down memory lane. That's exactly what it was and seemed more like what they were trying to do rather than make the sequel even half as funny as the original. It wasn't! They made sure to bring back every character from the first that I guess was still alive. That's one of the biggest things that hurt it in my opinion because they just tried too hard to give everyone at least a cameo, including the twin rapper girls. My name is Peaches, and I'm the best. All the DJ's want to feel my breasts.
Eddie looked swole and old. But then, you think about the fact that the original was released in 1988. I imagine I'm swole compared to my Greek God-like physique of the late 80's. John Amos had a small part in it, but I'd rather not have seen him. Amos has always been the the hard ass dad in Good Times and the Cleo McDowell who wanted to break his foot off in the King's royal behind. He's in his early 80's now and looks every bit of it. They introduced some new characters in Jermaine Fowler, who played the "Bastard son" of Murphy, and Leslie Jones, who played his street-wise mom from Queens. She was one of the few comedy bright spots. Wesley Snipes was pretty solid in his role as dictator of a neighboring land that was on the verge of war with Zamunda.
Again, this absolutely pales in comparison with the original, most notably from the fact that they treated it more like a family reunion than anything else. It had the occasional funny spot, which is inevitable when you bring the Barber Shop characters back in tact. I'm actually glad I watched it so I can say I did. I won't do it again.
If "Loudmouth Leslie" was one of the movie's bright spots I will NOT EVER be watching. She's obnoxious.All that jello and cream of wheat gave him the runs.
And fuck Biden's pre-recorded ramble. Standing there shitting in his pants.
I agree with pretty much all of this, actually.A Legion of Doom would be pretty badass, though.
Also, as to why do we have to fight Thanos/DarkSeid/etc...
It would get so tiresome watching the JL just trounce every pissant human-based villain they came across. They need a challenge.
That's Vincent Gallo in drag.Let's change the hairstyle just a bit...
Does it stand alone alright or do you need that first turd to make sense of it?It can stand alone. You just might not know where the characters came from or why they (particularly a teenage twit) were over acting.
Above SuspicionThat girls usually drove an IROC-Z Camaro or a Chevy Malibu.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DrCK6fKW4AA040B.jpg)
Tell me you don't know that same sassy southern tramp from where ever it is you live.
That girls usually drove an IROC-Z Camaro or a Chevy Malibu.By the late 90s, that had morphed into a jeep. I'm thinking of one in particular, actually. Had a kid when she was 18-19. Late 20s, early 30s by when I knew her. Still single. Still hitting the bars, fucking to Guns and Roses on the stereo, kid stayed with mom when she was out. Sundress and boots or jeans and a cami. I called her RedneckRedJeep.
Unholy
Lifeless, dickless, pointless, poorly edited story of religious possession.
Deaf/mute has a vision of what she thinks is the Virgin Mary and gains the power to heal. The Catholic Church rushes to set up shrine. But Mary isn't the Mary she thought.
Bad CGI, poorly executed jump "scares" and "get me out of this turd" emotionless acting for Jeffrey Dean Stanton (Negan from Walking Dead) and the dude that cut his leg off in Saw shoved this movie even further into the dumpster.
It's just bad. The deaf girl isn't bad and in the right movie, she might be something. Here? Nope.
You've seen better movies. There's nothing new or interesting here. Could have been, maybe, but no.
Jeffrey Dean Morgan?Yeah. That guy.
Funny because I saw him in another similar movie this weekend - The Possession I believe it was called. He and Kyra Sedgewick. It was "ok" I guess. Possession type movies are getting as oversaturated as zombie stuff now.
I disagree re: Minelli. She had the annoying/brassy NYer thing down pat. She was a good foil to Moore's urbane (if besotted) character.Good foil, but those very attributes invalidated any alleged chemistry.
Never a huge fan of her, but she was pretty great as Lucille 2 in Arrested Development.
I disagree re: Minelli. She had the annoying/brassy NYer thing down pat. She was a good foil to Moore's urbane (if besotted) character.Agree with k here. It isn’t that she’s terrible in general. She’s just more a theater or Broadway show type. A poor caricature of her mother really trying to be a big screen actor. Granted she never asked to be her mother.
Never a huge fan of her, but she was pretty great as Lucille 2 in Arrested Development.
Peanut Butter FalconGood movie. Not great but really enjoyable.
I Care A LotBritish Bond girl that has gone downhill since. Horrible movie in which the bitch did not suffer enough dying!
Misguided story about a shark (Gone Girl) who preys on the elderly until she meets another predator (Tyrion Lannister) who's inclined to destroy her plans when she chooses the wrong old lady to fleece.
It's not a bad movie, but there are a handful of problems.
Tomorrow WarI actually enjoyed it. It was a different take than most sci-fi movies.
You think the science in Kong v. Godzilla is contrived and wonky? Take a look at the Amazon movie Tomorrow War.
It was a really stupid movie. It was clumsily done. Not Pratt's best work. Or anybody else's.
Thanks for this. Probably my fave horror franchise...including 3. Silver Shamrock, bitches.
Dune was really well done.
Didn't know until a few minutes before walking in that it was planned as a two-parter, though.
See it on the IMAX screen if you can.
it looks visually appealing.....albeit the story looks complex as hell. I want to go see it in Big/Imax just for the visual piece of it. At least they were smarter than Zack Snyder not to try and make a 4-5 hour movie in one sitting.
The benefit to breaking it into two pieces is that the story has some room to breathe. Lynch's Dune (which I loved) tried to cram it all into one feature. I don't think you'll have any problems with the plot line...it's not particularly convoluted.
Dune was really well done.
Didn't know until a few minutes before walking in that it was planned as a two-parter, though.
See it on the IMAX screen if you can.
AntlerS
Weird. Very weird. Based off a book by a different name apparently. Some parts were good. Some were sloppy. They left a lot of things unexplained. But it was a well shot movie cinema wise. Just thought both the story and screenplay were choppy. It could have been better. They also left it open to a sequel but not sure if that’s in the plans for them.
The Many Saints of Newark<Valid critiques>
Any Wheel of Time fans here? Amazon has supposedly dumped a fuck-ton of money into doing it Game of Thrones style, with the lawyer from the Jack Reacher movie playing Moraine.
Night Teeth
Debby Ryan
(https://www.looper.com/img/gallery/the-underrated-vampire-thriller-thats-slaying-it-on-netflix/intro-1634831661.jpg)
Have I missed a review on 'The Eternals"? "Shang Ra La,La,La and the Billbo Baggins Ring Legends" was pretty solid. The kids want to watch "The Eternals" and I need to know if it is something I will need to pay a lot of attention to or if I can catch up on Solitaire Suite on my phone while it's going on.
Have I missed a review on 'The Eternals"? "Shang Ra La,La,La and the Billbo Baggins Ring Legends" was pretty solid. The kids want to watch "The Eternals" and I need to know if it is something I will need to pay a lot of attention to or if I can catch up on Solitaire Suite on my phone while it's going on.
Have I missed a review on 'The Eternals"? "Shang Ra La,La,La and the Billbo Baggins Ring Legends" was pretty solid. The kids want to watch "The Eternals" and I need to know if it is something I will need to pay a lot of attention to or if I can catch up on Solitaire Suite on my phone while it's going on.
I think we can go on record saying K doesn't like Benedict Cumberbatch.
Wrong.
I liked Blinkerduck Crinkledbitch in the Sherlock series. Liked that a lot actually. Cumpleflag is also a good choice for Dr. Strange.
I didn’t care for him much in the gay code breaker movie and he was the worst part of the Whitey movie with Johnny Depp. Why ask that guy to play a short, heavyset Southie? Thought he was a really odd and ultimately flaccid choice to play Khan in the Star Trek reboot. The hell does he know about rich Corinthian leather anyways?
I’m ambivalent about him generally. He was just bad in this. He didn’t even walk right.
Hell...he ain't even ole timey!
Ghostbusters: Afterlife
It was faithful to the original and crafted a story that honored that legacy while opening doors to a future beyond it. In a lot of ways it felt like a legitimate passing of the torch.
To quote you: Pffffffffffffttttttttttttttt!
Free Guy
About what I expected from the trailers.
Video game minor character breaks out of doing the same exact loop every day and shakes up the game. Ryan Reynolds attempts to escape being Deadpool by being a subdued, much less profane, blue-shirt wearing version of Deadpool. The thing is, though, Reynolds does that act so effortlessly that makes an easy watch.
The movie didn't change the world. It didn't speak anyone's truth. It didn't have some great deeper meaning. It just told a relatively entertaining story in a reasonably fun way. That was appreciated.
The heroine of the film - Millie - was played by Jodie Cormer of Killing Eve who somehow magically vacillated between kind of hot and well, maybe not. I liked her, though.
It was a sweet, simple story of finding your heart in the both real life and virtual reality. It's not something I'm putting on my shelf to watch over and over, but it was an enjoyable watch once.
No Batman review yet, Kaos?
Debating whether I can stomach "woke, twinkle Batman" I'm seriously considering passing on it completely.
If it helps you decide: I thought it was great. Pattinson is legit. Ran a bit long, but great cast and story.
Hard pass. :poke:
If it helps you decide: I thought it was great. Pattinson is legit. Ran a bit long, but great cast and story.
Is it part of the larger DC universe, or just stand alone?
Stand alone. The nerds tell me it's a storyline called "The Long Halloween" or somesuch.
Wayne has only been operating "Project Gotham" (read: playing batman) for two years at this point.
felt longer.
Movie had more endings than Return of the King, and felt longer.
The Bruce Wayne character was the only thing I didn't really like. I thought he really nailed Batman. But his take on Wayne isn't what I've always envisioned him as.
Can't figure out if the HUSH that you see in the unlocked video is a nod to the next villain, or if they are going to go with the the "unamed arkham inmate" that the Riddler is talking to at the end (or maybe they use the Hush storyline for part 2).
I still love My Blue Heaven.
Tim Allen can pound sand.
El Camino
I loved Breaking Bad (although I feel it got to almost parody by the end). Still it was one of the greatest shows in the history of episodic television. It somehow managed to glide to the end without completely crapping the bed (like Sopranos). The end was fitting. While it provided closure, it also left some threads dangling -- and that was fine.
This month, creator Vince Gilligan added El Camino, essentially a two-hour coda to the end of a show that had already come tantalizingly close to perfection.
I have to admit, I enjoyed seeing the characters on screen again, but the reality is that this movie added absolutely nothing to the overall canon. In truth, it just wasn't necessary. It didn't break any new ground, really.
The movie bounced around in time, enough so that it was occasionally disorienting. It added pieces that fleshed out events that had happened in the series -- none of which was really that illuminating or valuable. It debunked one long-held theory (Walt is alive) and gave us an almost schmaltzy "happy ending" that wasn't true to the series at all.
It was fun to see Mike, Badger, Skinny Pete, Jane and a few others for the fleeting moments they were on stage, but the payoff just wasn't there.
Not a bad movie, but so utterly and completely unnecessary that it felt forced/fake. Like some bad fan fiction or something. I get that Aaron Paul has no other career path and that there may some day be an entire Jesse Pinkman series/film/whatever to keep him employed. I just think in this case it was better left alone. It provided "closure" I didn't want or need.
No Batman review yet, Kaos?All 3 hours of it were a waste of time.
Dr. Strange in the Multiverse of Madness.
You can definitely tell that Sam Raimi directed this one: more horror/gore than your typical Marvel outing.
Lots of fun visual effects and a heavy dose of the Scarlet Witch.
Alternate universe Avengers were interesting and they (don't think this is a spoiler) set the stage for all the X-Men and Fantastic Four crossovers you could ever want.
Fun times, but not a very strong entry in the pantheon (though they do a Raimi-signature ending for Strange that I wonder if they'll carry through to the future Marvel movies and they introduce Charlize "Rowr" Theron at the end.)
Dick Long is Dead
Ran across this accidentally. Didn't know much about it other than the description which says 'Alabama-born director' and small-town Alabama mystery.
I've seen so many elitist asshole takes on the South that I figured I'd give it a chance, hoping that for once someone who was a native would give a realistic interpretation of what life is like here without all the country-ass stereotypes.
Colossal mistake. The director (shown below in what is, amazingly, one of his less-creepy pics) clearly hates his roots. This "i could suck a golf ball through a garden hose" looking asshole looks down on the South and its people. He wasn't born an elitist asshole, but he definitely identifies as one. He bent over backward to curry favor with the elite crowd by smearing the South with the same disdain a Cali or NYC filmmaker who's never been anywhere near here would.
Among the touchstone tropes this bucket of fucked-up fruit made sure he included:
- atrocious fake accents
- Christmas trees decorated with beer cans
- Rebel flags
- references to "Meth Mountain" (one of many trailer parks)
- all characters live either in a trailer or in a tract home with broken toys, disabled cars and trash in the front yard
- all characters drive beat to shit cars with mismatched body parts
- every character is dumb, particularly the idiot cops
- all characters constantly have a cooler close by with cold Pabst Blue Ribbon in it
- furniture is early 80s trailer park chic -- wooden couches with brown flowery velvet cushions
- dimly lit bar with men in cowboy hats, plaid shirts and suspenders danchin' wif girls to country music
Every single frame of this film reinforced one negative southern stereotype or another. It was offensive.
- Spoiler -
I hope you won't waste your time with this shit, so I have no qualms about spoiling the "big surprise." The 'mystery' is a pair of stereotyped southern bumpkins who try to cover up the death of their friend. They're horse fuckers. The friend died when his asshole was pounded by a stallion (one that whinnied up an ejaculation, of course) and he bled out. Horse fuckers.
"Hey, Lyd, it don't mean nothin'. Me and the boys been doin thangs wif dat hoss since afore me and you even met."
Horse fuckers.
Here's the kicker. This film is actually based on a true story. As I was informed by an esteemed member of this exclusive club, the real-life event took place in one of the elite enclaves in the northwest. A man was actually fucked to death by a stallion; his asshole exploded by the big-dick pony. Could this film have been set where it actually happened? Of course, but who's going to believe that?
Let's put it in the south! They down thar fuckin' horses, and cows, and goats, and hawgs and everthang! Hay, let's get that gay alabammer director!! He kin make it all authentic and shit.
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BNDg5ZWFmMDYtNTZlNC00NTE4LWFjNDEtNmQ4NjliNzc3ODE5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTExNDQ2MTI@._V1_UY264_CR8,0,178,264_AL_.jpg)
Fuck this guy. Fuck this movie.
Honor Society
(https://s1.dmcdn.net/v/U2D5a1Yj-kxmNVOQs/x1080)
Me Time
Wahlberg and Kevin Hart. Buddy movie. Netflix.
They’re supposed to be lifelong best friends who’ve grown apart. Spent their youth in reckless adventures. As Hart settled down into the role of house husband to his ultra successful wife (calling bullshit on this part) Wahlberg stayed on the path of exuberant excess.
It was a fair movie. With some pretty funny parts. But it also contained some unnecessary components. For instance: a completely nude marky mark did nothing to advance or enhance the plot.
The chemistry between mark and Kev just didn’t feel authentic either.
Not buying sassy loud ass as an amazing architect. That just didn’t fly. But most of it was ok.
It tried to say something about the nature of families and friendships but it didn’t have enough comic or emotional depth to say it well.
I did really like seeing a guy I honestly thought was dead again. And hearing him say “baby” in the way only he could ever say it was a nice touch.
Not a bad movie. Just an improbable series of events strung together with a little humor and a dollop of schmaltz. If a John Hughes movie was a Mountain Dew this would be like a Diet Mountain Lightning.
Gonna need someone to tell me if watching the new Halloween is worth the watch or did they fuck it up like they usually do with franchise movies?
Gonna need someone to tell me if watching the new Halloween is worth the watch or did they fuck it up like they usually do with franchise movies?
Halloween Ends
Tried to ignore what others said and make up my own mind. I did.
Whenever you think Halloween 6 with Paul Rudd is the worst entry in the Halloween saga? Remember that Halloween Ends exists.
Whenever you get the idea that Halloween 5, which gave us a baby Danielle Harris, is the worst of the Halloween catalog? Keep in mind that Halloween Ends exists.
When you're ranking all the films in the Michael Myers pantheon and start to debate whether Resurrection (with Busta Rhymes, Tyra Banks and Katee Sackhoff) or Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 or H2O (the first return of Jamie Lee Curtis) scrape the bottom of the barrel? Don't forget that Halloween Ends was made.
When you're dismissing the only film in the series that doesn't feature Michael, the unfairly maligned, daring creative choice that was Halloween III - Season of the Witch? Stop and recall that Halloween Ends is a thing.
This was the worst of them all.
It channeled Halloween 5 with the psychic connection angle. It embraced Season of the Witch by not really being about Michael at all. Every other film in the entire spectrum offered something (except maybe Resurrection) of value to the overall storyline. Except this one. It was less a Halloween movie than a film that sort of existed in the same universe but took a left turn at Albuquerque. Stupid. Hackneyed. Unrelated. Unnecessary. Ridiculous.
Everything about this film was wrong. All of it. It missed the mark in so many ways there isn't space to fit it here.
Not since lumberjack Dexter stared back into the abyss have I felt a series flubbed its finale any worse than this.
Told y'all Halloween Ends sucked.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers/Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers/Halloween 666: The Origin of Michael Myers is like The Third Man compared to the mid-off that was Ends.
Other than the initial flashback and the absurd final 10 minutes, this was essentially a bad Hallmark/Lifetime Movie with a splash of blood, starring re-enactors from an Investigation Discovery episode of Primal Instinct.
the last 10 mins is what I have been envisioning Laura (or SOMEBODY) doing for the last 30 years. Thats all that was needed at the end of the last one.
Smile
Not as creepy as I hoped.
When your main horror focus is a drone that turns shots upside down for no reason at all? You've humped the goat.
Not really much to say about this other than it was a huge disappointment. Failed on almost every level.
Kevin and Kyra's daughter is a decent actress.
The Night Before
Garbage. Crude. Crass. Typical for what passes for humor in this Apatow/Rogen world. Had some decent moments but was undone by the associated garbage.
Klaus
Reviewed before. The more I watch it, the higher on my list it goes. When/if I have grandkids it will be close to the top of the list. Not a fan of the animation choice, wish it had been done old style, but that’s really the only flaw. A funny and creative Santa origin story. Gets you in in the feels at the end.
Miracle on 34th Street
The original version. Maureen O’Hara at her statuesque hotness height and a perfectly jolly Santa. With a baby Natalie Wood.
Amusing story, one that has a hard time fitting in a new America where everything Christmas is slowly deemed offensive.
Some scenes are a little outdated. The black kitchen help, working mom letting her daughter disappear with some random guy across the hall, for instance. For those of us who still enjoy Christmas and don’t too much give a fuck if your non-chick-fil-a eating, rainbow haired, non-binary, buddhist , soy sucking, joyless, triggered, bitch ass gets offended or not? It’s a feel-good, nostalgic movie. A good one.
The Marksman
Another crusty Liam Neeson is a badass movie.
Here he’s a rancher and former marine saving a kid from the Mexican cartel after he runs across him trying to cross the border on his ranch.
Improbable situations. Unrealistic coincidences. Sham emotional resolutions.
Boilerplate stuff.
Buy a pack of hot dogs, don’t be disappointed they don’t taste like steak, right?
Screw that anti gun asshole making money off of guns.
Not one red cent!
He pees his pants a lot in real life.
Avatar? No. Elvis? Fuck no. Top Gun? No, but probably will. All Quiet on the Western Front? Maybe in the 70
If you find degenerates randomly fucking, women pissing in men's faces, fat bastards beating whores to death and orgies set to jazz-era swing?
Black Adam
I tried. I really, really did. I tried to watch this movie. Five different times I tried. I've yet to finish it and I never will.
Don't get me wrong, I've been strongly attracted to Sarah Shahi for years. Ever since I saw her in L Word and then Sopranos for one episode. Never envied Tony more. But even that wasn't nearly enough to get me to the end of this.
There just are no words at all for how bad this is. Rock is TERRIBLE. It's like somebody decided to make a superhero movie parody but forgot it was a parody and played it straight.
I'm at a loss for words. It is simply atrocious. Possibly the worst superhero movie in the history of the genre.
I watched 10 minutes when it came out on whatever App and had to turn it off. Would rather rewatch Ernest Goes to Camp as an adult.
Captain America: Civil War
The less said about this the better.
I just didn't enjoy it.
Oh it was better than Batman v Superman while grappling with similar "where is the oversight" themes but that's not saying much.
I literally didn't give one single fuck about the cat person. I could do without fire fingers and red face too. And also spider twit.
The "villain" such as he was added nothing and his knowledge, access, financial resources and expertise defied logic.
Bear in mind that I don't much care for the Thor movies -- except for Loki --nor did I like either previous CA. Fuck Bucky.
This movie just didn't have the easy elan of the great ones. Avengers and Iron Man 1 and 3.
This entire genre is losing its touch. It's almost become ponderous self parody.
It needs to end soon before it eats itself.
My wife is dead. My mom is dead. Oh boo fucking hoo.
Ant Man and the Wasp: Quadrophenia (whatever)
Ant Man is the blandest of the the Marvel lineup. It's not absurd and tangled like the almost unwatchable Dr. Strange entries. It's not outrageous and campy like the last two Thor entries. But it also doesn't rise to the level of Ironman or Captain America.
Part of that is the general genial blandness of Paul Rudd. That's not a condemnation, it's just what he is. It fits the part. He doesn't have the same charisma as Downey, Hemsworth, Evans, or even Johannsen. That everyman blandness helps make the character work, though. Rudd as Scott actually leans into it, accepting that Antman is fourth or fifth banana on the Avengers tree, at best.
The rest of the ensemble is reasonably strong. The girl from Freaky (who I like) stepping into the daughter role, Michelle Pfieffer and Michael Douglas sliding back into the Pym family slots. And Evangeline Lily (with an atrocious hairdo, gross) returning as the love interest/sidekick.
Two problems:
1 - the story. All that "big, little, big, tiny, other universe, crazy alien" stuff is too much. It gets muddled after a while. I will say that Star Wars could have used some of the alien creation here, rather than the raggedy ass muppets it relies on. The creatures were well rendered.
2 - Kang. That guy, whoever he is, was pretty awful.
The film teased way more of him/it to come but if I had to guess, I'd say that will be one of those threads that will be dropped and forgotten as Marvel moves forward. They're already scrapping their entire planned M-She-U due to audience fatigue and indifference - although I feel confident they'll blame Trump and DeSantis for their failures.
That brings me to a point I made years ago when the media declared that the entire nation was "in love" with a racehorse as they bombarded us with stories about it. In reality, few cared. They WANTED us to care. It's the same thing with this whole female/LGBRQ549+-% agenda Disney/Marvel decided to pursue. It wasn't what people actually wanted or would support. It was what a very small number of people decided that we wanted. And when it failed (spectacularly), those same people chose not to accept the reality, but affixed a series of "ism" and "phobe" tags to anyone who dared to think differently.
I don't think Antman Quadrophonic was a bad movie. It just didn't move the needle. And it had to throw in one little "socialism is a great idea, just look at the ants" line. I know it performed poorly at the box office (not as poorly as crap like SheHulk and Eternals), and I expect it will probably just fade into anonymity over time. It definitely didn't advance the Marvel story and if I had to guess, it will be the last time we see Antman in a lead role. (Rudd is looking a little old, to be honest). I think their plan was to prop up the daughter as the next Ant hero - as part of that entire SheIron, SheHulk, LadyThor, ChickHawk, lineup they were trying to build -- but that will never work. It just won't. So pick an "ism" or "phobe" to tar me with and let's move on.
Anyone see Nefarious?
Only in theaters correct?
I do want to see it and Hypnotic.
Alexandra DDarrio was not body doubled in that however, a fact you should never forget.
And Woody Harrelson had the honor of touching them. Pretty sure she’s one of the most beautiful women to ever exist.
Her face ain't a world beater, really. Gal Gadot has a much more attractive face. Like mesmerizingly hot. Margot Robbie... There are several.
But them American titties! Oh my lord.
Right up there with Teresa Palmer's exquisite ass!
Her face ain't a world beater, really. Gal Gadot has a much more attractive face. Like mesmerizingly hot. Margot Robbie... There are several.
But them American titties! Oh my lord.
Right up there with Teresa Palmer's exquisite ass!
The Jared from Subway documentary? Disturbing.
Count me in on the disturbing take. That's a sick dude.
Creed 3
End it. End it now.
Without Stallone? this film, this series has no heart.
Complete unintelligible TRASH.
The guy playing Anderson is horrible. I think he’s the same guy who played Kanga in Ant Man. He must have pictures of studio execs blowing baby goats.
Aged
One of the most piss poor attempts at horror in a long time.
The lead girl is so bad she didn’t quit her regular job as a bartender at a hillbilly Texas mega bar.
Everything in the movie was poorly done. It was clunkingly obvious. All of it was terrible including the tub of blood that looked a lot like watered down red koolaid. Weak. Garbage.
So so bad. Nothing at all to recommend.
Sounds like it ripped off Old from two years prior.
Nefarious
First, this movie was not anything like what I expected. I hadn't really watched the trailers and didn't know about the background or source material going in. Agree and disagree with GH in that it is something we've seen before but at the same time, it isn't at all.
Yes, we've seen possession movies and idea that evil survives the original host by finding new vessels. As far back as The Exorcist we've seen that same theme. But we haven't seen it explained or displayed in the thoughtful, analytical way this movie expresses it.
There were no scenes of the possessed writing on a bed, spewing invectives in ancient tongues, or vomiting up wads of hair, blood, flies or bees. There was no demonic growling voice or rotting of the flesh of the possessed. Any demonic transference that occurred happened without smoke, fire, eyes changing color, screaming or any of the tropes we've always associated with that event. All of it was carried out with a calm and rational, slowly simmering menace.
He'll never get the credit he deserves but Connor McManus from Boondock Saints (Sean Patrick Flanery) is extremely good in the role of the possibly possessed/certainly condemned man. It could just be that his performance was so much better than the stilted stiffs around him, but he was superb.
Why will he never get credit for it? Because this film is at its core a rejection of the current world view. It's a condemnation of the slippery slope that has allowed humanity to grow more and more distant from God as we slowly accept and celebrate the mockery of our Creator. This is a film of the type Hollywood won't back, won't promote and won't acknowledge. Ridicule Christians? Sure. Mock Christianity as outdated and its adherents as rubes? Absolutely. Show Christians in the most unflattering light possible? Definitely. That's why no matter how good Flanery's performance is (and it's extremely good) he's more likely to find himself blackballed by the industry for taking part in a film like this than he is to be celebrated or honored for it.
If you are a Christian; if you truly believe there is a war raging between the forces of Good and Evil (capital letters on purpose); if, in your heart, you know that the things we see, do, tolerate, accept, celebrate, and ignore are driven by the forces of chaos and destruction, then this film will resonate in ways you probably didn't anticipate.
I am one of those. I believe in God and I believe in Christ. I am appalled at what I see in the world today. It sickens me. I believe that all it takes for evil to win is for good men to do nothing - and we have done nothing of late. The things I see emanating from our political system, from our media outlets, from entertainment disgust me. I do believe that a large segment of our political/media/corporate structure pursues an agenda that is driven by evil. Many of the "leaders" who have wormed their way into power (legitimately or not) may not sit around drinking the blood of sacrificed children, but they ARE in cohort and are certainly evil at heart, even as they pretend not to be.
This isn't a great film. The sets are sparse, there's no CGI, the acting is wooden at best (other than Flanery, who is outstanding), and the production is lacking. There is, however, the core message that all of us need to hear and heed.
Maybe demonic possession isn't actually a thing. Maybe it is. Using that as the basis, though, this film touches on the broader struggle of our own selfish, base desires, mankind's own need to elevate our thoughts and beliefs above those of our Creator, and the notion that we are losing the battle against the forces of evil when we are distracted by and focus on idiotic things like those the psychiatrist ticks off as symbols of man's "progress."
I've really only been scared by three movies in my entire life. The Omen, The Exorcist and now this. The terror invoked by both Omen and Exorcist was different than this. Nefarious provided no jump scares, no shock/horror, no gore, no 'final girl', no brutality. Instead, it slowly unspooled a much deeper examination of where humanity currently resides in relation to God. That is frankly terrifying to consider. The film has, at least, given me pause and caused me to re-examine some of my own positions.
I already know there are some on this board who will pish-posh the entire film as demented, right-wing, psychobabble. I can hear Flanery's demented, knowing laugh even as you do.
Excellent review, K.
I spoke to my priest about it, and he highly recommended it, but said his biggest issue with it is that the devil wouldn't be so upfront with his plans, but that he understood why they presented it as such in the movie.
One of the priests who was consulted for this movie is a Father Carlos Martins, an exorcist for the Archdiocese of Detroit. He has a podcast, The Exorcist Files, that is worth a listen if you're on a long road trip.
I’m a Methodist. When I went to talk to my preacher about it they was busy at Sephora getting some new lipstick to match their dress. They had to officiate a marriage between a man who used to be a woman and a woman who used to be a man. He, I mean they, wanted to make sure the lipstick hue highlighted the purple in the dress.
So we never got around to it.
I’m a Methodist. When I went to talk to my preacher about it they was busy at Sephora getting some new lipstick to match their dress. They had to officiate a marriage between a man who used to be a woman and a woman who used to be a man. He, I mean they, wanted to make sure the lipstick hue highlighted the purple in the dress.
So we never got around to it.
This got me thinking of a stuttering Pentecostal pastor I once met. Hilarious.
Three movies while I'm escaping global warming, holding in farts so the oceans stop boiling, eating a bag of bugs to save the environment, being grateful for all those Africans toiling in lithium pits 24/7 so I can spend $60,000 on a glorified golf cart, and wondering why - if the oceans truly are rising - John Fraud-ass Kerry allowed his BFF Odumba to spend $12 million on a mansion mere feet from the beach.
The Outlaws
I've seen this film made WAY better when it was called The In-Laws and starred Peter Falk and Alan Arkin.
When I saw the Happy Madison logo, I should have immediately expected shit laced with turd peanuts. Sandler is worthless. I don't know how much input he had in this, but it was pretty awful.
Basic storyline... nerd doofus schlub is getting married to somebody out of his league and with whom he has zero chemistry. To be honest, the schlub - played by Adam Devine who - is pretty shitty in nearly everything he's in and plays the exact same babbling fool in each role he takes and has never had chemistry with any co-star - is only doing the one trick his pony knows. It's annoying and grating. Skin-crawlingly bad.
So the doofus meets his bride's family for the first time and they're possibly master criminals involved in some feud with a female gangster.
Whoever directed this thinks he's way more clever than he is. It's sad to see Pierce Brosnan degrade himself by appearing in this half-baked gooey pile of mess. Every gag misfires. Every setup flops. There are a few mildly funny moments, but this movie is nothing but one cringe after another.
Devil Conspiracy
Heavy handed interpretation of Biblical end times.
St. Michael has to return to the earth to prevent Satan from resurrecting Jesus as the dark-side Christ , and bringing all the dark angels up from Hell through a hole in the ground managed by a lumbering, poorly rendered beast.
So much mumbo jumbo. Film takes itself seriously. You should not. It isn't horror.
It's kind of like the director ate The Omen, Rosemary's Baby and Terminator 2 and then threw up the digested contents into a cracked wooden bowl.
Horrible acting. Laughable CGI. Ridiculous story.
The only thing the film has going for it at all is the over-the-top evil Cruella DeVille ooze of Eveline Hall. Oh, she's awful, but at least she looks like she knows she's overacting and hamming it up.
Heart of Stone
There's a lot going on here.
So there's actually a shadow organization running global ops outside government control, but trust us, it's a GOOD thing. They only do GOOD things! They have a giant self-aware computer that (hahaha!) resides in the clouds, literally. This computer "The Heart" can hack into and see anything. Your Alexa, your phone, every camera, every computer and instantly analyze what it "sees" and calculate options.
Gal Gadot is one of their agents. Like Wonder Woman without the bracelets. She flies! She fights! She's an expert driver! A master of languages! She can kick all kinds of ass.
Some counter-agent, for a supremely flimsy reason and against all possible realistic odds, decides to hack into and take over/take down The Heart. It's Gal's job (as Rachel) to stop him.
This is a more than anything, a Gal Gadot vehicle. That's about it. She's hot and can kick your ass in the blink of an eye. She's hot. And she's hot. Then again, she's hot.
But even her hotness can't overcome some of this film's flaws. Nomad for one. Who the fuck is going to put their trust and lives in the hands of a screeching, inept black woman with shitty teeth and a bad accent.
The storyline gets a little/lot muddled as the film bounces from one chase/action scene to the next.
There's a flight scene with squirrel suits
There are TWO parachute scenes
There is a motorcycle chase and a snowcycle chase
There's an exploding zeppelin
There's a lengthy car chase/shootout
There are multiple fist-fights and gun battles
There are foot chases and cliff dives
There are explosions
So much action.
Gal Gadot is ridiculously hot, but to be completely honest, her almost sleepy, bemused, banal acting style, her tone-mangled english and her slow, lanky, liquid hotness really don't work well for her in a role of this intensity.
She's stupid hot, but believe it or not, the spunky little opposition played by Indian newcomer Alia Bhatt pulled some of the attention away from her hotness. The thick little 30-year old had a heat factor of her own that held up well against Gadot's all-time epic smoke.
Is it a good movie? Not so much. It's more like one somewhat interconnected action vignette tacked on to another.
You throw out a review on heart of stone, but not the Extraction movies? It feels like it’s on purpose at this point!
Gal doesn’t do it for me. This comes from a guy who favors the Middle Eastern look above all others. I do think it’s because she plays into her looks to compensate for subpar acting. The chick in Haywire/Mandolirian is a better actress, and more of a believable badass.
Say you adore the gift of the penii without actually saying it.
(https://media.tenor.com/oZFVuhH9n4YAAAAM/gal-gadot-pose.gif)(https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ArcticHideousHoneyeater-size_restricted.gif)
My favorite memory of Star Trek IV was in Mad Magazine..
“Uhura, we are in need of some 20th century money. Go hustle some money from those sailors over there.”
“Captain, need I remind you we are in San Fransisco?”
“You’re right! Sulu, you and Chekhov go hustle some money from those sailors over there.”
MAD was the titz. I always loved the Spy vs Spy strip. I pulled for the black dude.
Was a huge fan. Asked my grandma for a subscription for my sixth birthday. She obliged. It spoke to the subversive parts of me that standup comedy was awakening (shoutout to HBO in the early 80s). Was hooked until I discovered girls, beer and weed.
A Quiet Place II
The first Quiet Place film was a surprise.
The second, not so much. It's not that it was bad, it's just that we already knew the deal and that leeched some of the suspense out of it.
This film started exploring - just a little - outside the farmhouse and one family that was the focus of the first. But it also felt like it forgot a lot of what it learned from the first one. If feedback whine renders the damn things powerless, why aren't there feedback broadcasting stations?
I had no idea this movie roped Oppenheimer and Korath as lead stars (although the whiny "I can't make money in Hollywood" Dijimon who is in more movies - more major movies - than anyone around) isn't in it for a great length of time. But here they were. Scarecrow and Juba, fighting giant ears.
I didn't hate the movie, but all it really seemed to do was expand the map slightly and build an obvious set up for Quiet Place III: The Quietest.
Is it terrible? No. It's worth watching if only because I finally figured out what it is that keeps Emily Blunt from being as attractive as my mind says she should be. She has an enormous upper lip. You can almost never see her top teeth, but her bottom ones are constantly exposed. I think it's an affectation primarily for this movie. Maybe it's what she thinks her "serious" face should look like. I dunno. But it's unnerving.
(https://static1.colliderimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/a-quiet-place-part-2-trailer-emily-blunt-social-featured.jpg)
Ready for a new review, please. Nook, sorry for fucking with the format.
The fuck you talkin bout?
I never really know. Kind of just throw stuff out there to see what sticks.
Ready for one of your reviews again!
Lizzie Caplin is the embodiment of 2 at 10, 10 at 2.
Nobody Will Save You
If you liked Kaitlyn Dever, the tomboy child of Tim Allen on Last Man Standing, this is the movie for you.
Dever, now 26, carries the entire movie. For 95% of the film, she's the only person on the screen. And for 99.5% of the film, she doesn't say a single word. Not one.
She's a recluse, dealing with some past trauma. Living alone, isolated in her childhood home (I think). One night her home is assaulted. Not by burglars or by rapists or anything like that, but by extra terrestrials.
The film borrows from many others. There's a little bit of Signs, a dash of ET, a smidge or two of Close Encounters, a dollop of A Quiet Place, and maybe even a splash of Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
The entire movie is Dever's Brynn fighting off the aliens as it slowly - very slowly - reveals the childhood trauma she's suffered.
I'll say this, Dever is a delight to watch. She does a more-than-credible job in the role and given that the entire story is told through her facial expressions, grunts and groans makes it even more impressive. She's fantastic.
The no dialogue thing was interesting. Part of it was natural because there was nobody for her to talk to. The cutesy things where she'd pick up the phone and take that inhale of a breath to begin speaking and then stop were funny - at least to me.
The complete lack of dialogue forced you to pay attention because if you looked away, you couldn't follow a conversation to know what was going on. I liked that because I'm sick to death of watching friends and family sit there scrolling on their phone while they are allegedly "watching" a movie. That won't happen here.
Dever elevated this film far beyond what it could have been. Without her performance, it's not much more than an average forgettable SyFy movie. I'm interested in seeing her in different, bigger roles. She should get that opportunity. It was a huge burden to carry an entire movie using little more than her (albeit cute) face. Somehow she did.
It's a different type of movie, probably not one for everybody but I've seen so many worse than this. Watch it for nothing more than curiosity, but give it (her) a shot.
But would you?
But would you?
Pass. I like my waif brunettes to have more personality than eternally pissed.
What about Kaitlyn Dever?
Capable of seeing her as an almost-30-year old?
She plays for the other team. So, no.
I think that was only a movie role. Never heard it was a thing.
Dever came out https://www.sdlgbtn.com/is-kaitlyn-dever-gay-in-real-life/ (https://www.sdlgbtn.com/is-kaitlyn-dever-gay-in-real-life/) as gay in 2020 during an interview with The Timeshttps://www.thetimes.co.uk/ (https://www.thetimes.co.uk/). She said that she had been in relationships with both men and women, but that she is now in a relationship with a woman.
I'm not buying some lgbtbr549 rag that wants to out everybody from Thomas Jefferson to George Jefferson in an effort to promote their agenda.
Anna Kendrick>Dever all day, every day, twice on Saturday.
Why not both?
Breathe in, breathe out.
The Burial
Movie about a Mississippi funeral home owner who hired a flashy black lawyer to help him win a case against a corporation intent on smothering his business and sending him to ruin.
Jamie Lee Foxx is the lawyer.
Tommy Lee Jones is the funeral home owner.
Cameron from Ferris Lee Bueller is Tommy Lee Jones' racist family lawyer
Jussie Lee Smollet's sister plays the opposing counsel. Can't we get rid of that entire family?
Basic story. Foxx channels Deion Sanders' self-serving bombastic hype. Pretty much everybody white in Mississippi is racist and has ties to the bad ol' KKK. Corporation is ripping off poor ol' black folks and gets its comeuppance.
I think I’ll skip this movie. Thank you for the warning.
Don’t let me dissuade you. It’s pretty well acted except for the out-of-her-depth Smollet woman.
I’m just sensitive to and tired of the ‘black savior’ movies and white characters all being racists wirh KKK ties.
The Klan was not the all encompassing boogeyman it’s made out to be by idiot yankee/west coast directors. Just a convenient spectre.
Yeah, it was a thing. Yeah, a lot of your grandparents and great grandparents were involved.
But as someone here said recently… not all klansmen were terrorists. There were some good ones. Peaceful. They were just fighting to hold on to their land and against outside oppression.
The klan hasn’t been widespread, organized or effective in over 60 years. But let’s keep trotting out those white sheets and covering every white southerner with them.
That irritated me.
The Fall of the House of Usher
Pretty smart reimaging of this (and several other Poe) properties. Hedging it around the entertainment media's fixation with "Big Pharma" and "Oxy" is a choice, but it mostly works. Sure, there's the heavy-handed neo-socialist bull shoved in there, but can be ignored. This thing works because the cast is phenomenal. Carla Guigino is phenomenal. Bruce Greenwood and (surprisingly) Henry Thomas really sell it.
Worth burning 8 hours or so if you are so inclined.
watch paint dry high on Nyquil.
No Hard Feelings
If you want to watch Jennifer Lawrence go Karate Kid while completely nude, this might be the movie for you.
No Hard Feelings
"Romantic" comedy where Jennifer Lawrence is hired to bang a 19-year old nerd by his helicopter parents.
Jennifer looks bad. Not aging well, IMO.
There were some relatively amusing moments and a couple of sorta sweet moments mixed in with some nudity and a little crudity.
It wasn't bad. It wasn't good. It was just there.
If you want to watch Jennifer Lawrence go Karate Kid while completely nude, this might be the movie for you.
Five Nights at Freddy's
other than a miniscule dose of musical nostalgia, got nothing out of it.
Rewatched The Hunger Games last night (because the MNF game was a snoozer). Wow, what a boring movie. Had a lot to work with, world build, interesting characters, and at every turn, the movie chose the most boring route possible. It's like someone invites you to a nice steak dinner, order whatever you want. You go with hamburger steak, well-done, broccoli on the side, no salt, and room temperature tap water. This thing coasted by on the strength of the book's fans. If memory serves, movie #2 was a lot better.
I don't care how much money it made......terrible choice for JLaw there. I hated her acting at that point.
I put all of that on the first director. That was a lazy job. The next ones, she did stuff. Her best stuff though was Winter's Bone. That's a solid flick.
And ones with boobies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFtdbEgnUOk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFtdbEgnUOk)
From what I understand, this isn't a sequel. It's a remake AND a musical for the GenZ. Fey is heavily involved as are a few other original cast members. Interesting choice.
Pain Hustlers
A torn from the headlines story about a pharmaceutical company pushing doctors (by paying and seducing their egos) to prescribe their drugs. Emily Blunt, Chris Evans and Andy Garcia lead a cast of unknowns.
It's a disgusting business, apparently. Corporate owners and reps driven by raw greed and a hurricane of available cash. Doctors whose medical decisions are driven not by patient needs, but by a desire to write prescriptions that provide kickbacks.
If the movie were better acted, more engaging, less bland? It's something everybody should know - and consider when talking to their doctor. Wonder WHY the doc is pushing medicines on you. Is it because they get a cut of the prescription that's being forced on you 'for your own good?'
Too bad this movie was completely flat.
Blunt isn't great. In fact, she's kinda terrible. Starts off as a not-at-all convincing stripper with a half-black kid who overnight turns into a marketing genius pushing a drug that's apparently mostly fentanyl.
There was a series with Matthew Broderick (Painkillers) that dealt with a very similar situation - all the way down to the company owner's bizarre eccentricities - but handled it in a different matter. Neither were truly effective in giving this practice and scandal the public awakening it needs. This movie, in particular, missed more than it hit - largely because Blunt's performance was robotic and dead.
Watching this, and knowing that the current administration paid doctors to give the "vaccine" and also paid them to disavow treatments that were cheap and worked? Kind of sickening, actually.
Who is going to be playing the part that Heather Thomas played in Fall Guy?
Slotherhouse
Wow. Just wow.
Take Mean Girls, Prom Night, and Black Christmas mix them together and swirl them around. Then and add a dash of Zombeavers, perhaps a sprinkle or two of Eight Legged Freaks and a dollop of Sharknado (pick one). Bake at 150 for 25 minutes - leaving the middle raw and gooey - and you've got this outlandish movie.
Ever wondered what happens when you add a homicidal sloth... yes, a sloth... to a sorority house and make the mistake of hurting its feelings? Wonder no more. This film shows you in blood-soaked detail the carnage that would ensue.
The movie is particularly, purposefully bad. Every actor/actress in it is completely aware that the film is bad, but they all play it straight. The directors - also knowing it was bad - tossed in subtle references to a number of great horror films including one obvious nod to The Shining.
The killer sloth is so ridiculous that every time the blatantly obvious puppet pops up on screen it made me laugh. BUT... the film never landed squarely enough in either horror or comedy to fully embrace a genre. It just wasn't quite funny enough or scary enough to make a clear mark.
That in the books, I've seen movies that were far, far, far worse -- movies that aspired to be serious. I've seen comedies that fell much flatter. I've seen horror films that were much less effective.
Is it worth the time? Possibly. Just seeing a slaughterous sloth was probably payoff enough to make it worth the waste of time.
Slotherhouse
Wow. Just wow.
Take Mean Girls, Prom Night, and Black Christmas mix them together and swirl them around. Then and add a dash of Zombeavers, perhaps a sprinkle or two of Eight Legged Freaks and a dollop of Sharknado (pick one). Bake at 150 for 25 minutes - leaving the middle raw and gooey - and you've got this outlandish movie.
Ever wondered what happens when you add a homicidal sloth... yes, a sloth... to a sorority house and make the mistake of hurting its feelings? Wonder no more. This film shows you in blood-soaked detail the carnage that would ensue.
The movie is particularly, purposefully bad. Every actor/actress in it is completely aware that the film is bad, but they all play it straight. The directors - also knowing it was bad - tossed in subtle references to a number of great horror films including one obvious nod to The Shining.
The killer sloth is so ridiculous that every time the blatantly obvious puppet pops up on screen it made me laugh. BUT... the film never landed squarely enough in either horror or comedy to fully embrace a genre. It just wasn't quite funny enough or scary enough to make a clear mark.
That in the books, I've seen movies that were far, far, far worse -- movies that aspired to be serious. I've seen comedies that fell much flatter. I've seen horror films that were much less effective.
Is it worth the time? Possibly. Just seeing a slaughterous sloth was probably payoff enough to make it worth the waste of time.
What about that Winnie the Pooh one? Where he and Piglet fuk people up and draw blood.
You ever see "Rubber" or "Hobo With a Shotgun" ?
No, but I saw Hobo With a Rubber once. It wasn't as much fun as I hoped.
The Exorcist: Believer
The Exorcist remains one of the most terrifying movies of all time. It’s one of the few movies that ever actually scared me.
Exorcist 3 was a trippy, muddled slew through the genre.
This? Absolute trash. The kind of trash that does a poop splattering flyover of the greatness of the original and then returns to ass piss on it again.
Horrible film. Should not be considered as part to the original’s family tree.
HORRIBLE. Hated it.
Wanting to save you the trouble. Don’t watch Rebel Moon. What a fucking waste of time.
Since I assumed it was a comedy with Fat Amy exposing her cottage cheesed buttocks, it wasn't on my list.
Leave the World Behind
I made it all the way to Exexutive Producers: Barack and Michelle Obama and then noped my way right back out.
No thank you.
It's not that bad, to be honest. Wasn't a fan of the ending, but it was worth the 2 hours. Lots to make you think about, that's for sure.
I saw it described somewhere as “liberal foreshadowing”.
Oldboy
I don’t agree with Wes very often. But that was a twisty movie and took more than one turn I didn’t see coming.
It’s hard to say you “enjoyed it” given the final act, but it kept your attention.
Thankfully I’ve never read anything about it. Didn’t bother with the Americanized version. So I wasn’t prepared for the last 15 minutes.
You’ve seen revenge movies done time and time again. Just not like this.
Yes some of the set ups are almost preposterous. But so is everything in Saw if you think about it. And the acting has that almost frantic Korean expression and pace. But that doesn’t matter either.
Watched it. Glad I did. Not sure I could again given that final act.
Kaos, have you watched Tulsa King with Sly Stallone?
Oppenheimer
Ridiculously overstuffed cast. So many people you know from other things. Florence Pugh's natural little misshapen titties. I'm really sad for her that she chose to be all naked in THIS atomic turkey.
It's the most boring thing I've ever seen by a long shot. I'm roughly an hour in. I will not make it another two hours. I don't think I can stand one additional second of Cillian Murphy's mugging, monotone mumbling, staring, depressed moping, and over-acting. I cannot tolerate one more scene with Emily Blunt. She's better than this. I cannot sit through another three minutes of people sitting around over-emoting and bloviating. I will not endure any more of the Oppenheimer dream flashes.
FWIW, the jangling and discordant score is headache-inducing.
I don't care if that makes me uncultured. This is a boring, tedious, dreary slog that bounces cack and forth in time and makes my entire skull numb fromg its drudgery. Anyone who pretends to like this is just being pretentious. The emperor has no clothes, just a massive cloak of boredom. I'm willing to point that out.
This is zero fun. Zero interest. A bomb about a bomb.
I will not finish this movie. Not now, not ever.
not to say you are wrong because you are not. i liked the imperfect titties.
anyway...i'm on day three of trying to finish this movie. i hit the pause button on the remote thinking i have 20 minutes left...not 2 hours. fuck.
I never finished (that’s what she said) and I do not regret walking away.
Damsel
How do you mess up a fairy tale so that it appeals to no one?
This is the way.
Too violent for kids. Too goofy and plot deficient for adults. I could never figure out who the target audience for this poorly scripted, poorly acted cgi mush.
The best part of the movie was the dragon. Whoever did the voice did a good job of creeping me out at certain points of the film. Very devilish.
Millie Bobby Brown is welcome to take my Stranger Thing from the Upside Down. However, I do agree that it was poorly scripted. Hell, some parts were even dumb. For instance:
-Why did she cut her hair to fight the dragon? Speed boost? Did I miss her sprinkling it about to throw the beast off her scent?
- Tips and tricks left by previous girls in her situation accompanied with very detailed flashbacks of what they went through… dumb.
- The narrative of the movie is “Girl Power!”, which is fine… but most of the audience for an action movie with a dragon in it are going to be dudes that just want to see action & a badass dragon (could’ve been designed better). Purely my opinion.
- I counted maybe 10-11 times that she would’ve been dead had the dragon actually tried to kill her based on how overpowered it was killing everyone else. No consistency… “Let’s watch you climb up a crystal well and not breathe fire up your chimney!”
Just a one-time watch for sure.
Another unrelated note. The movie lost me to the point that I started thinking of other things. Many cultures had winged dragons spitting fire as part of their lore. I wonder if those were actually ancient alien fighter jets and the scribes had no other frame of reference ?
You ever listen to Graham Hancock? He’s a little out there, but has dedicated his adult life to the theory that we are not the first advanced civilization on Earth. That we're the children of survivors from a time long forgotten. Technology and minds greater than our own lost to unknown cataclysmic events. Pole’s shifting, great floods, ice age, meteor impacts. It’s a cool thought experiment.
Alone
As the father of two young adult women, who I've trained to act without fear, not be afraid to travel, but just be aware of your surroundings, this was a pretty harrowing film.
Woman's husband commits suicide (stupid ass, she's pretty hot and clearly into him so what was his damn problem?) and after six months she's ready for a new start. Pack up everything in a U-Haul and move. Leave behind parents. Leave behind well-meaning friends and start a new life. Alone.
As she's winding her way across country, towing her trailer, she encounters the same kind of asshole we all do in everyday driving life. Slowly poking along until you try to pass and then they speed up. Jerk nearly causes her to smash into oncoming traffic but once she's safely around him, here his ass comes again, burning up the road to get back in front. How many times has that happened to us? How many times have we wished we could drag that bastard out of the car and beat him half to death with a tire iron?
Turns out the guy isn't just a random asshole. As she continues on her way, he continues to pop up. First to apologize and try to win her trust. Then to pretend his car is broken down and he needs a ride to win her sympathy. Then just in random places. Everywhere she stops, she sees him cruising by. His constant presence gives her bad vibes and she brushes him off at every turn.
She's right to be wary. He eventually runs her off the road after slashing her tire, drugs her, takes her to a remote cabin, and binds her in his basement -- something he alludes to having done to others. His intent is to take his time raping and then put a fork in her.
That sets off a brutal struggle for survival. The fight scenes are done pretty well for a film that clearly had a small budget, most of it probably spent on a pretty decent "pull a stick out of my foot" scene. That didn't hurt its tension, though.
Yeah, we've seen this trope a dozen or more times. We've also seen 450 variations of Romeo and Juliet (including a new one coming with Tom Holland and some ugly black man) but that doesn't mean the good ones aren't worth watching (which won't include Holland and UBM). This film trods the well-worn abductor-prey track with enough menace and surprisingly little violence to make it worth the watch. I kind of liked the fact that it relied on situational tension rather than pin its success on gory/vulgar acts of mayhem.
For me, the most compelling part was wondering how my own kids would react in a similar situation. Which is why they are armed. If she'd had a gun, Mr. Creepy's story would have ended prematurely. There's a lesson there, kids.
Quick and quirky side note? The goofy ass creeper is in real life married to Cersi Lannister from Game Of Thrones. He married up. By a lot.
Prey
Predator prequel
Slow, unathletic, clumsy girl believes herself to be a great Indian hunter on the Plains in the 1700s.
She is a terrible hunter. Flinches and fails at every opportunity. But girl power anyway!
Crosses paths with a Predator who is out doing its own hunting. For inexplicable reasons it leaves her alive when it should have killed her time and time again.
Runs into French trappers who hunt the predator.
I don’t care any more. Done with it. Won’t finish.
The lead girl is insufferable. This movie insults Arnold, Danny Glover, and even Olivia Munn.
Completely disagree. This was a breath of fresh air for a mediocre franchise (the first one is an action classic and Shane Black's 2018 movie is dumb fun). This is exactly what they should do with the Predator; put it in different time frames. And if you're mad because a girl beat it (gasp! pearls clutched!), watch the end credits. It's not a long-lived victory.
Godzilla - Minus One
This is the Godzilla I remember from the afternoon movies. Thoroughly Japanese, rooted in WW2, leveling Japanese cities.
It destroys things because it can. It isn't the savior or protector of humanity. It's an enormous, destructive beast. Its motivation, other than the enjoyment of wrecking things, is unknown.
Good story, good acting, quality CGI. This is an old-school monster tale done the right way.
Highly recommend, but just a warning: This isn't a Godzilla you're supposed to root for.
Hitman
Prime movie about a fake hit man who runs stings for the NO police department.
No huge laughs. But the chameleon hit man character was done really well by the lead. His girlfriend is also extremely attractive.
Won’t set new horizons, just ambles along to a preposterous conclusion. But in terms of Prime produced films it’s better than most.
Godzilla - Minus One
This is the Godzilla I remember from the afternoon movies. Thoroughly Japanese, rooted in WW2, leveling Japanese cities.
It destroys things because it can. It isn't the savior or protector of humanity. It's an enormous, destructive beast. Its motivation, other than the enjoyment of wrecking things, is unknown.
Good story, good acting, quality CGI. This is an old-school monster tale done the right way.
Highly recommend, but just a warning: This isn't a Godzilla you're supposed to root for.
Waxwork (1988)
Old horror movie. Like a lot of things from this time period, it was campy and silly.
Deborah (Valley Girl) Foreman was the lead girl, which was a draw. Sad to see the post Valley choices she made. Poor girl.
Several people you've seen before: David Warner, Patrick (The Avengers, not the superhero ones) Macnee, Zach Galligan, John Rhys-Davis, Miles O'Keefe. It was none of their finest moments.
Basic storyline: Bunch of students visit a wax museum devoted to horror characters. Some disappear into the exhibits. The remaining Scooby Gang return to the museum in search of their missing friends. They have to battle historically evil figures to liberate their pals.
It was intended to be campy and light. It was just mostly ridiculous. But fun for what it was.
Check out Chopping Mall on Tubi sometime. Same vein.
I suffered through Ozark with Jason Bateman and Laura Linney. It had it's moments, but I thought it was very poorly done. You couldn't get invested in any characters, because they'd kill them off every other episode. Anywho...
I don’t even know you anymore.
the guy drinks diet cola with bourbon.
Whore shit. Never diet. Full on original formula.
Whatever you say, Stephon. 54 days til some Auburn Football, by the way. Join me in dry July to pamper the innards for the abuse to come starting late August.
You dry this July?
Dry July for this guy. July started on 7/8 this year for me, if I’m being completely honest.
:facepalm:
Wrong board.
Also kind of sad Gossett Jr passed away right before IF was released.
Longlegs
Not going to do any spoilers here but......this movie is, ummmm, different. I couldn't say after whether I "liked" it or not. I think I did? But it's touchy subject matter. Family Murder/Suicides, some gore, Satanic/Occult stuff abounds. Nick Cage apparently produced and directed it, and plays the lead titular weirdo. I will give him credit here - it was not cookie cutter, and was well done. More than I can say about most of the others these days (Ed and Lorraine Warren Arc movies, Blumhouse, etc).
Cage did not direct but he was a producer and really liked what writer/director Osgood Perkins (Tony's grown up kid) was doing with the subject. A good companion piece is Perkins' 'The Blackcoat's Daughter' which also operates in the slow-burn, evil lurking in the shadows motif.
I'm oddly ok with Cage making this turn to weirdom. It suits him better than attempting to take himself too seriously as some classically trained Grammy winner wannabe.
Bull$hit. Cameron Poe would stick his golden globe right up your...
That accent was so cringe man.
"Goin back home to Alabammuh to see muh dawwwtah"
"Put tha bunny back in tha bowxxxx"
I think we all know Cyrus the Virus made that movie go round.
Pale Rider
Revisited Clint's return to Westerns in 1985 and was pleasantly surprised how well this still works. Clint and the writers of 'The Gauntlet' take the stranger rides into town to another level of eeriness with the Preacher character. John Russell is excellent as Marshall Stockburn as is Richard Dysart as evil land baron, LaHood. The slow pacing and gorgeous scenery are matched by a cast full of solid performances that hit all the right beats at the right time.
Worth another look if you haven't recently or if you missed it back in the day.
Southern Comfort (1981)
This is one of those movies I watched multiple times (multiples of multiple) in the early 80s when I had my first apartment and was "borrowing" HBO. Found it accidentally on Prime the other day and finally went back and watched it tonight.
It's a little bit Deliverance, a little bit Red Dawn maybe.
A squad of Louisiana national guardsmen get lost in the bayou swamps. Acting like idiots, they run afoul of some deep woods Cajuns who slowly get their revenge. It all starts when the guardsmen decide to steal some boats from a Cajun trapping site. As they're crossing the swamp, they notice a group of trappers watching them from the bank. One of the guard morons decides to unload a volley of machine gun blanks at the Cajuns - who have no idea they're blanks and respond with appropriate lethal measures.
That sets off a kill or be killed trek through the bayou as the guardsmen (with no actual bullets, just blanks) are hunted by the Cajun trappers.
The movie is loaded with 80s B level icons. Keith Carradine. Powers Booth. Fred Ward. Peter Coyote. TK Carter (you know him from The Thing most likely). Alan (Heat of the Night) Autry. Brion (You've seen him everywhere) James. If you look closely, you'll even get a brief glimpse or two of Sonny from Predator in there as well.
On rewatch, the acting isn't as good as I remember. Some of it is a little silly under today's light. But it isn't diminished in any way in the pantheon of movies that will always have a special place in my list. I could watch it again right now.
What this movie did for me is introduce me to the sound of zydeco. There's a scene in a deeply rural cajun town where the accordion is wailing and the singer is laying down the cajun/french lyrics. They run through three or four almost complete zydeco songs and layer some deadly action over it in places. I'd never heard zydeco before I saw this movie and for reasons I'm still unable to explain it stirred something deep in me. Once I heard that sound, I wanted to hear more.
I came to LOVE zydeco. After straight rock and some rap, it's probably my favorite genre of music. I could listen to it all the time even though I rarely know what they're saying. Doesn't matter. It moves me. No other explanation I can provide. Boozoo Chavis, Clifton Chenier, Gino Delafose, BeauSoleil, Buckwheat Zydeco, so many artists... My Spotify has a zydeco playlist that's 8 hours long. I've yet to tire of it and I'm always searching for some artist or piece I've missed. Before Spotify, back in the local radio days (early 90s), there was a show on the Alabama public radio station on Saturday night that played nothing but zydeco for a couple of hours. I tried to catch it every week.
This movie was overlooked in its time, I think. But I have a great affinity for it, the cajun setting, and am forever grateful that it opened the door to Zydeco for me.
It's a guy's movie. So if you're a guy (and there is only one other option) do yourself a favor and waste a little time on this one. It's free on Amazon prime.
Southern Comfort (1981)
Will be my next watch. Sounds like a decent plot!
Saw that Alien: Romulus this weekend.
Really fun, tense, at times relies too much on fan-service, but is an enjoyable watch until the last 15-20 minutes. Then, it goes off the rails. It's amazing to see a series blow a lead late in the game as often as this one does. It's like the Atlanta Falcons of sci-fi horror.
Worth seeing on the big screen for the effects and some big, sweeping space shots. Otherwise, just another log on the dying fire of a franchise.
Does the end go off the rails with a ridiculous premise or does it preach Mercury warming or what?
Saw that Alien: Romulus this weekend.
Really fun, tense, at times relies too much on fan-service, but is an enjoyable watch until the last 15-20 minutes. Then, it goes off the rails. It's amazing to see a series blow a lead late in the game as often as this one does. It's like the Atlanta Falcons of sci-fi horror.
Worth seeing on the big screen for the effects and some big, sweeping space shots. Otherwise, just another log on the dying fire of a franchise.
It's being billed as "very scary" which I was automatically skeptical of.
It's being billed as "very scary" which I was automatically skeptical of.
Lincoln Lawyer I suffered through Ozark with Jason Bateman and Laura Linney.
I am so attracted to Laura Linney. Don’t ask me why. I don’t have a clue. She just pops my magoo.
The Fall Guy
This was a film I actually wanted to see. The trailer looked interesting. I don't hate Dollar General Ryan Reynolds. I don't hate Mrs. Jim Halpert. I thought the movie had promise - based on the trailers. I can be partial to action-based comedies as long as the cast has good chemistry.
When the film opens and closes with I was Made for Loving You by KISS? It can't be bad, right? Has to be good. (FWIW it has little to nothing to do with the campy-ish Steve Austin (Lee Majors) TV show --which I liked for a minute -- except for a twangy closing credits version of the theme song and some really late - and sad - cameos).
It's got some good moments. The neon fight in the bar and its trippy aftermath are creatively staged. Most of the action sequences are entertaining, honestly.
The tough thing for me with this movie (and others) is that I want to like Emily Blunt so badly, but she just has NO chemistry with Gosling. Seems to be a hallmark of everything I've seen her in. She doesn't connect with her co-stars in any meaningful way. Bad at portraying valid emotions. Just no chemistry. That's a huge problem for a film that puts the romantic chemistry at the core of the movie.
It's really two separate movies. An outrageous action romp and a slow-burning romantic comedy. The action movie alone works pretty okay. The romantic storyline falters and drags. One isn't strong enough to support the other so in the end, it just falls flat. It's an unequal yoke.
Let's talk about the music:
I Was Made for Loving You: KISS (and an alternate version by some other douche)
Thunderstruck: AC/DC
Big Pile of Reeking Garbage: Taylor Swift (ZERO talent)
Genie in a Bottle: Christina
All I Do Is Win: 2010 Auburn
Against All Odds: Phil Collins
Theme from Miami Vice: Jan Hammer
Take out the wad of nasty bubble gum from Swift and that's a decent mix. Unfortunately it might be the strongest hook this movie has.
Heather Thomas from the OG show though....? As underrated as it gets/got on looks. She bowed out of fame early on. Damn shame.
She's in this briefly. Life has not been kind to her.
Saw that Alien: Romulus this weekend.
Really fun, tense, at times relies too much on fan-service, but is an enjoyable watch until the last 15-20 minutes. Then, it goes off the rails. It's amazing to see a series blow a lead late in the game as often as this one does. It's like the Atlanta Falcons of sci-fi horror.
Worth seeing on the big screen for the effects and some big, sweeping space shots. Otherwise, just another log on the dying fire of a franchise.
Don't Move
I think this was on Netflix. Very intense and personal drama. There are only two main characters and two peripheral ones. Movies with a narrative that narrow require compelling actors for the leads. This one almost gets there.
Basic storyline. Troubled woman (Kellie Asbillie, and she's really cute) heads to a remote area to contemplate the source of her sadness. In the wilderness she runs into a guy (Finn Witrock of American Horror Story) who at first seems genuine and helpful, but who then turns into a not-so-nice adversary.
If you've seen the trailer, you know she's in a paralytic state so that's not really a spoiler. He drugs her, intending to have a little fun before disposing of the body. As we learn, he's done it before. Once she's in his clutches, the remainder of the movie deals with how and if she will manage to outwit and outlast the predator.
It's pretty well done. Asbillie has to spend most of the movie acting with little more than her eyes (thankfully those eyes are expressive and really pretty). She's pretty good at it. Witrock is only convincing in flashes, but those flashes are pretty good. He just didn't have the consistent menace I'd hoped to see. He's decent in times of extreme violence when he has to get out of certain situations, but just not quite enough.
It's a decent story, only if you spend the time wondering how you'd escape a similar situation. The movie was engaging, and maintained my interest, even if some of the situations were a little out there.
It's not going to win any awards. It's not going to be something you'll go back to again and again. It is, however, worth the one watch.
Carry On
Die Hard for the next generation. Let me end any possible debate as to whether it’s Christmas movie. It’s not despite featuring Christmas songs to open and end (and a few interspersed throughout). Christmas was incidental, not instrumental to the plot.
Good cast. Taron Egerton as a TSA agent. Jason Bateman as the bad guy. Hank Schrader as Egerton’s boss (basically playing a different version of Hank). Big Head Bighetti.
Basic storyline: Bad guy Bateman has a bag he needs to get through security and a plan to get it through. Egerton screws up the plan by getting himself reassigned to to the bag screening bay Bateman needs to use. Plan has to be altered.
The whole film is the interplay between Bateman (who does a really good job with the calm menace required to make it work) and Egerton as one tries to execute the plan and the other tries to stop him.
Some of the situations are ridiculous and improbable. The four-click hacker who can get into airport security cameras unnoticed is cliched and just silly. Don’t think it can happen that way. The bug eyed black agent (if some agency I don’t remember) overacts and fails to convince. Completely out of her depth with the rest of the cast.
No. It’s not a Christmas movie. No I won’t be watching it every year. But it was good. The performances were solid (other than bug eye lady). The back and forth between Jason and Taron brought the required tension. Bateman really delivered.
Pretty good movie. Definitely worth a watch.
Let me save you all two hours on Conclave.
For 1 hour and 41 minutes, it's a taught thriller in the world behind the walls of the Vatican after a pope dies and the process to elect a new one commences. There's secrets, conspiracies, back-biting, lobbying, and everything that makes your basic political thriller work. Then, there's the "twist" of the end when you realize this whole thing was a vehicle for "The MessageTM" and it sinks the whole thing. Such a fumble before the goal line at the end. The Atlanta Falcons were embarrassed (for more than just their usual existence).
I couldn't help myself. I watched it anyway. Wish I hadn't.
The Catholic Church is guided by greed, power, corruption, and internal maneuvering/scheming. God is secondary. Okay, we kinda knew that. It's been that way for centuries. The slow, somber plod through that shady history as factions of self-serving bishops sought to elect a new pope was snooze-inducing. There were no new revelations. Popes are flawed, sinful, prideful men with public and private agendas. No kidding. Bore me more!
The cast had pedigrees. The Trinity Killer from Dexter (Lithgow, who I vowed never to watch again after what he did to my beloved Rita, and if I'd known he was in this I never would have started the thing), Fruity McFagg from Hunger Games, Voldemort, the once beautiful and now haggard Isabella Rosseliini (who never really did anything of note but look good 40 years ago), and a few others. They were all boring as paint drying on an eggshell colored wall.
Other than the STUPID "they are the most virtuous of us all" sickening twist at the end, there were two things that irked me and pretty much ruined it BEFORE the big surprise.
One, any random street fool could have told you 15 minutes in how their stupid election was going to end up. You knew from the earliest moments who would be elected Pope, so all the posturing, grandstanding, scheming, and plotting was merely a 90 minute waste of everyone's time. That was plotted like the worst Hallmark movie ever written.
Second, the liberal, progressive agenda was championed. Ordaining gays, ordaining women, abandoning the basic tenets of the faith was the "high road" while returning to God and the Word was sneered at as "backward." That right there, my friends, is the problem. I don't care what this stupid movie (or the awful Catholic Church) tries to tell you. The Word hasn't changed, isn't going to change. The Church - as portrayed in this movie - attempts to mold itself to the ebb and flow of societal constructs rather than helping society see, accept, and subjugate itself to God. That's a problem and one on which Hollyweird lands on the hellish side.
As for the "surprise" ending? Shove that up your bishop butt with a red hot poker and let it ruminate there.
Anna Kendrick
Would
Being one of the olds, SNL was definitely a huge part of my entertainment culture growing up. It was one of those must-see TV events every week. I even recall "double dating" one night, and discussing where we all wanted to eat, and what we would do until we went back to David's house to watch Saturday Night Live.
You dated a guy named David?
Being one of the olds, SNL was definitely a huge part of my entertainment culture growing up. It was one of those must-see TV events every week. I even recall "double dating" one night, and discussing where we all wanted to eat, and what we would do until we went back to David's house to watch Saturday Night Live.
Honestly, I never paid that much attention to the left/right leaning stuff, probably because I was never into politics at all. Most likely never noticed, and/or didn't care. I just thought it was a given that whoever was in office, was going to get skewered.
I stayed with SNL through Ferrell, Fallon, Kattan etc. My main reason for moving on was the constant turnover. They'd start a new season, and it would go from 8 cast members to 24, and I wouldn't recognize 2 of them. Didn't want to have to start over and get familiar with all the new characters.
Nobody walks into a darkened room, doesn’t bother to turn on a light and then goes “hello?” I hate that.
Play or punt? Maybe fake punt and throw into the boundary short of a first down.
The Peyton Thorne-Hugh Freeze ExperienceTM
I was thinking the same exact thing. Ready to eventually purge the horrific memories of Auburn football the past 5 years from my noggin’. That pairing especially.
Recommend 2022's Watcher if you haven't seen it.
There were several with similar names around that time.
Can you specify by lead actress?
Naomi Watts, I imagine. King Kong's side piece.
There were several with similar names around that time.
Can you specify by lead actress?
Deadpool/Wolverine
Let me start this by noting that Naomi Watts has the body of an 11 year old boy and the teeth of a cockney British barmaid. She's not attractive. Has nothing to do with this film, but needed to be plainly stated.
Final verdict? Not as good as the first Deadpool, better (to me) than the second Deadpool, definitely worth watching. I'm sure I'm the last person on planet Earth who wanted to watch it who hadn't until now. So this review won't sway a soul.
Recommend 2022's Watcher if you haven't seen it.
watched last night based on your review. fantastic.
Nosferatu
It wasn’t terrible. It also wasn’t good.
First, Johnny Depp’s daughter is hard to look at. She’s a homely thing. So much of the movie rests on her character’s bony shoulders. That wasn’t the case in the original (a ripoff of Dracula) where the character’s role in the beginning (and particularly the end) was less impactful. I didn’t really like that change.
Second, Nicholas Hoult yet again underwhelms. It’s time to pull the plug on his career.
Third, the voice choice for Count Orlock was questionable. He sounded like Davy Jones (Pirates)/Viktor (Underwold) with a bad case of asthma. I could have done without the wheezing. Could also have done without the stupid mustache.
I know the director was trying to inject his own take on what a vampyre is and would be based on whatever legends he researched but I felt like it was a bad choice.
There were a lot of bad choices story wise as well.
I haven’t seen the 1920s version in a long time. I mostly remember how it “set the table” for so much of the horror that came after.
I did appreciate some of the homage to the original, particularly in the use of shadow.
This film isn’t going to inspire anything, though. It’s doesn’t add anything new to the genre (unless you consider vampyres choosing to breast feed instead of neck feed to be a trend that will endure).
I’ve seen far worse films, but this was a decided disappointment given its promotion and my expectations. Worth watching? Not really.
Are you on crack? Specifically, the kind that makes it impossible to recognize art when it's in front of you? The original Nosferatu is a lot deeper than "a ripoff of Dracula." This builds on that legacy in such interesting ways. It's not perfect, but few films are. What this excels at is leaving a viewer with lots to think about and talk about if you accept it on its terms.
Sorry Lily Rose doesn't make your junk rise. She's giving a capital "P" Performance though. Hoult is a solid performer as well. Not sure why you've decided he sucks because he doesn't.
Robert Eggers doesn't make bad movies.
I disagree with your assessment. It's worth another shot.