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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: wesfau2 on November 20, 2008, 08:17:01 PM

Title: Turkey semen
Post by: wesfau2 on November 20, 2008, 08:17:01 PM
...is harvested manually by a guy with a rubber glove.  Commercially grown male turkeys, or "toms" if you will, have breast muscles so large that their tiny legs can't get them close enough to turkey vag for normal turkey lovin.

Thus, the men in the gloves have to box little turkey clowns to collect the turkey baby batter to artificially inseminate turkey hens so that you bastards can have turkey for thanksgiving every year.
This is the shit you learn on tv these days.  If the lobby bar had any talent whatsoever, employee or patron, I would not know this.
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Pell City Tiger on November 20, 2008, 08:44:32 PM
This problem stems from a lack of turkey porn. Because of this, Tom's have no incentive to squeeze off any knuckle children on their own.
(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/1746/turkeyqc0.jpg)

I wonder how much money a turkey spanker makes? Seems like a great episode suggestion for that "Dirty Jobs" dude.
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Townhallsavoy on November 20, 2008, 10:15:31 PM
That might beat out mop boy at a peep show for worst job of all time.

(http://www.dirtyjobsmikerowe.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/mike-rowe-dirty-jobs.jpg)
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: lifesapplepie on November 21, 2008, 09:51:01 AM
That might beat out mop boy at a peep show for worst job of all time.

(http://www.dirtyjobsmikerowe.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/mike-rowe-dirty-jobs.jpg)

Dudes  :bugs:
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: AU_Tiger_2000 on November 21, 2008, 10:15:19 AM
This problem stems from a lack of turkey porn. Because of this, Tom's have no incentive to squeeze off any knuckle children on their own.
(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/1746/turkeyqc0.jpg)

I wonder how much money a turkey spanker makes? Seems like a great episode suggestion for that "Dirty Jobs" dude.

Already did it.
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: AUChizad on November 21, 2008, 10:42:46 AM
That might beat out mop boy at a peep show for worst job of all time.

(http://www.dirtyjobsmikerowe.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/mike-rowe-dirty-jobs.jpg)

The jizz-mopper's job is to clean up the booths afterward, because practically everybody shoots a load against the window, and I don't know if you know or not, but cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away.
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Ranger12 on November 21, 2008, 12:29:21 PM
I am probably going to catch some crap for admitting to this, but I have Dirty Jobs setup to record on my DVR. I love that show. My favorite is when he went to work in an alligator farm and kept getting bit in the leg. I think that show broke the record for most bleeps in a one hour show, beating out an episode of the Osbornes.

If you missed the episode in which he pulled out sheep balls with his teeth, then you missed some great stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/v/AD3IXGyHt9c&hl=en&fs=1 (http://www.youtube.com/v/AD3IXGyHt9c&hl=en&fs=1)
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: lifesapplepie on November 21, 2008, 12:43:26 PM
I am probably going to catch some crap for admitting to this, but I have Dirty Jobs setup to record on my DVR. I love that show. My favorite is when he went to work in an alligator farm and kept getting bit in the leg. I think that show broke the record for most bleeps in a one hour show, beating out an episode of the Osbornes.

If you missed the episode in which he pulled out sheep balls with his teeth, then you missed some great stuff:
http://www.youtube.com/v/AD3IXGyHt9c&hl=en&fs=1 (http://www.youtube.com/v/AD3IXGyHt9c&hl=en&fs=1)

No crap here...I love the show too!!  Mike Rowe might be one of the whitiest people on TV!!
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: CCTAU on November 21, 2008, 01:33:15 PM
No crap here...I love the show too!!  Mike Rowe might be one of the whitiest people on TV!!

Is this a hilariously racial slur?
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Tarheel on November 21, 2008, 02:21:20 PM
Is this a hilariously racial slur?

"'Here we go again.'"


By the way, I get a kick out of watching that show too; can't say that the DVR is set to record it though.
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: GarMan on November 21, 2008, 02:23:49 PM
"'Here we go again.'"

You people better cut that shit out right now.  And, I do mean "YOU PEOPLE". 
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Tarheel on November 21, 2008, 02:37:11 PM
You people better cut that shit out right now.  And, I do mean "YOU PEOPLE". 

Better watch out guys...

 :admin:


...of course the same could be said for me for using that "smiley".
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Ranger12 on November 21, 2008, 03:52:01 PM
Whitiest instead of wittiest. How funny.

lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Tarheel on November 21, 2008, 03:57:19 PM
Whitiest instead of wittiest. How funny.

lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.

I have to admit that I can't take my eyes off of them either!  Young, bouncy titties!  Yeah...I'd motorboat 'em.
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: GarMan on November 21, 2008, 05:02:40 PM
lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.

I suppose that explains the lazy eye too...   :blink:
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: lifesapplepie on November 22, 2008, 01:14:25 PM
Whitiest instead of wittiest. How funny.

lifesapple has been staring at those bouncing boobs for so long, he never got much of an edumacation.

I did go to the puplic skool!! 
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: lifesapplepie on November 22, 2008, 01:17:34 PM
Yeah...I'd motorboat 'em.

You son-of-a-bitch!!!!
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Tiger Wench on November 22, 2008, 01:27:30 PM
Mike Rowe is teh hots.  He makes me tingle where my bathing suit goes.  My favorite episode is the one where he takes a mud bath - cause he takes his shirt off... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: War Eagle!!! on November 22, 2008, 01:28:56 PM
Mike Rowe is teh hots.  He makes me tingle where my bathing suit goes. 

He makes your nipples tingle?
Title: Re: Turkey semen
Post by: Tiger Wench on November 22, 2008, 01:29:46 PM
He makes your nipples tingle?
Nah - they don't work too well since the surgery...