Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Kaos on November 23, 2018, 03:02:16 PM
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I've often said that this current Alabama run isn't as bad as the 70s because we have at least been occasionally competitive and kept them from a decade-long dominance.
I'm on the verge of changing that point of view.
Went Black Friday shopping last night. Hit the outlet mall about 11. This year my crew all wanted to wear ugly Christmas sweaters so I went along. The only one I had was an Auburn one I've had for a couple of years.
Again, I don't know what it is about my appearance/demeanor that makes people think they can give me shit, but it was one taunt after another pretty much from the minute we got out of the car. Shoppers, sales clerks, waiters all got in on the act.
Some of the more redneck shoppers were openly hostile to me and my family much as I imagine I'd be treated if I were walking around in Vermont with my Make America Great again hat/shirt. One big redneck shoulder bumped us mumbling crap about "who the hayull we thank we is.."
I could rarely get checked out without some airhead sales girl or guy asking if I thought we could score, because they'd give us a field goal for sympathy but that was about all. I usually said something along the lines of 'this is one of those years I probably won't even watch, Alabama's so good it won't be much of a game." That was almost inevitably followed up with "Well, at least you can admit it/accept it."
It's tradition that our shopping night ends with a trip to Waffle House at 3 or 4 am. Sometimes that's just a refueling station because we keep on going after, but others, like last night, we're done with it. Order the food and the waitress brings everybody else's food out but mine. The cook brings my plate and says he can't set it down until I give him a big Rawll Tide. I refused. Told him I'd rather not eat. He yucks it up, says he was just kidding and it's too bad what they're going to do to us on Saturday. I still didn't eat it. Told the waitress to take it off my bill because I didn't want it. Those places are dirty enough as it is, no telling what he did to my eggs and hashbrowns. My family is terrified I'm going to start some shit, but I don't. I just wait until we leave and then I tell the guy to just remember which side of the counter he's on. He doesn't get it.
I would so love to somehow break them on Saturday. Not for me, but for every single one of those crowing, arrogant, bandwagon assholes.
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Well, at least you were not at Riverchase. Things might have been even uglier.
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Well, at least you were not at Riverchase. Things might have been even uglier.
Who said I wasn’t?
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Who said I wasn’t?
So that was you that put the shooter down?
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So that was you that put the shooter down?
Couldn’t get to my Ruger Super Redhawk Inebaugh 500 because I was holding four purses and 18 bags while my girls were trying on some skirt and unitard combos — and MY girl was modeling some outfits for me.
Otherwise I would have driven three or four hours up there and done the world a favor.
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The last couple of years, whenever I get the occasional, unsolicited Raawwll Tahd, sent my way, I just come back with the most sarcastically sympathetic, "Bless your heart."
There is no come back for a bless your heart and most people realize that it usually translates to, "I'm sorry you're a retard."
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It’s bad everywhere. I had to go to the Walmarks on Thursday and wore an Auburn jacket. Roll tide this and roll tide that, and not one of these fuckers could spell Tuscaloosa, much less find it on the map.
Fuck them all. I hope the team bus catches fire today, and all their cheerleaders get herpes, and someone rolls out marbles onto the sidewalk as their band marches down the street.
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So that was you that put the shooter down?
The person they killed wasn't the shooter.
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The person they killed wasn't the shooter.
Known by the company you keep.
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The person they killed wasn't the shooter.
Fucktard
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Fucktard
He still wasn't the shooter, fucking moron.
The shooter is still at large.
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Known by the company you keep.
Shoppers?
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He still wasn't the shooter, fucking moron.
The shooter is still at large.
fuckhole
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Gotta say I agree Kaos.
It does not quite equal the 70's yet, but it is getting close.
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Gotta say I agree Kaos.
It does not quite equal the 70's yet, but it is getting close.
At first, I thought you were referring to the "fuckhole" comment.
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At first, I thought you were referring to the "fuckhole" comment.
I like there to be multiple interpretations....like your sexuality.
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I like there to be multiple interpretations....like your sexuality.
Hey, you have to be open to new experiences.
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So a little bit ago, I'm checking out at a restaurant and hand the girl my card. Auburn Visa. Has Aubie on the front. She runs it and before she hands it back says, "Oh by the way, Roll Tide". I immediately came back with the most sympathetic "Bless your heart" I could muster.
At first she laughed and repeated my bless your heart. Then she just stood there trying to think of something to say, but had this dumbfounded look like, "Did you just insult me?" She walked away from the counter without saying anything.
Bless her heart.
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This is glorious and has now become mine to the mouth breathers and the leg humpers.
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Hey, you have to be open to new experiences.
A man's got to know his limitations.
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So a little bit ago, I'm checking out at a restaurant and hand the girl my card. Auburn Visa. Has Aubie on the front. She runs it and before she hands it back says, "Oh by the way, Roll Tide". I immediately came back with the most sympathetic "Bless your heart" I could muster.
At first she laughed and repeated my bless your heart. Then she just stood there trying to think of something to say, but had this dumbfounded look like, "Did you just insult me?" She walked away from the counter without saying anything.
Bless her heart.
Tip her nothing and then complain about the ants in the restaurant.
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Tip her nothing and then complain about the ants in the restaurant.
Don't forget about the bad Yelp review
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Don't forget about the bad Yelp review
That's where I shine.
I once roasted a place so badly (compared the soup to puddle water strained through a pair of grandmother's Depends) that the owner spent years trying to track me down.
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https://twitter.com/sheabooskyy/status/1066736486006042624
Wow. No flag.
Somebody should find that guy's house and pay him a visit.
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https://twitter.com/sheabooskyy/status/1066736486006042624
Wow. No flag.
Somebody should find that guy's house and pay him a visit.
You drive, I will ride shotgun.
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https://twitter.com/sheabooskyy/status/1066736486006042624
Wow. No flag.
Somebody should find that guy's house and pay him a visit.
Pawwlll. ThatZ jist a pancakkke block. Dem aubs can handle us cuz weez physzuckle.
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Tip her nothing and then complain about the ants in the restaurant.
I was witness to you giving the best tip ever to an Alabama fan Waffle House employee. Actually I think I gave the tip but it was your idea.
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That's where I shine.
I once roasted a place so badly (compared the soup to puddle water strained through a pair of grandmother's Depends) that the owner spent years trying to track me down.
Pffft.
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I was witness to you giving the best tip ever to an Alabama fan Waffle House employee. Actually I think I gave the tip but it was your idea.
$0.01
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I was witness to you giving the best tip ever to an Alabama fan Waffle House employee. Actually I think I gave the tip but it was your idea.
There is some good irony in this whole post in re to Waffle House.
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$0.01
The tip was not the joke. The total that made a final score was.
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The tip was not the joke. The total that made a final score was.
That's right I remember now, I was thinking it was 1 second.