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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: wesfau2 on August 25, 2016, 12:03:25 AM

Title: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: wesfau2 on August 25, 2016, 12:03:25 AM
*for tards

With the football season upon us, I am bestowing information so that you can avoid being the knuckle-draggingest sped at your next watch party.  I know it's a futile effort, but you're my favorite group of window-lickers and I want to give you power in the form of information, you poor, impotent bastards.

1) You may have a bias for or against some person, entity or concept. 

2) You may idiomatically cut an item (food, wood, etc) on the bias.

3) You may, if you are putting your (#1) bias into play while making a decision or producing some product, be biased.

4) Your favorite player may be a member of Auburn's wide receiver corps, but that doesn't mean he's the core of the team. 

5) Boise State made it sexy and it's the schoolyard dream of every 8 year-old-Favre, but the goddamned play is called the "Hook and Lateral."

6) If your offense is sputtering on its first two drives, the last fucking thing in the world you want is for it to get "untracked."  Ever seen a train that got itself "untracked?"  I guess I did...the Auburn offense in Starkville in 2008.  You want your shit ON TRACK...and preferably running on time.

7) Everybody on the field, wearing a team jersey is a "football player" an "athlete" or is somehow engaged in a "football play."  Diving for the ball isn't an "athletic play on the football."

Feel free to add your cliche, pet peeve or dumbfuck idiom.
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: Godfather on August 25, 2016, 10:29:06 AM
Sounds to me like you are hanging out with dumbasses
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: wesfau2 on August 25, 2016, 10:38:03 AM
Sounds to me like you are hanging out with dumbasses

Yeah, I covered that here:

Quote
you're my favorite group of window-lickers

I'm just trying to improve the world a bit.  It bugs the shit out of me when broadcast "professionals" perpetuate some of this garbage.
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 25, 2016, 10:46:24 AM
I love the Hook and Ladder.

It's my favorite sandwich at Firehouse.  I really feel like I can make plays in space after I'm done.
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: The Six on August 25, 2016, 11:25:45 AM
5) Boise State made it sexy and it's the schoolyard dream of every 8 year-old-Favre, but the goddamned play is called the "Hook and Lateral."

That play was more of a Dig or Deep Cross and Lateral. If memory serves Boise called that "Circus" but live your dream.
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: wesfau2 on August 25, 2016, 11:31:11 AM
That play was more of a Dig or Deep Cross and Lateral. If memory serves Boise called that "Circus" but live your dream.

Thanks, Dick...I mean Cliff.

(http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn16/wesf9977/Clavin_zpseprk7kv7.jpg) (http://s300.photobucket.com/user/wesf9977/media/Clavin_zpseprk7kv7.jpg.html)
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: Godfather on August 25, 2016, 01:19:38 PM
That play was more of a Dig or Deep Cross and Lateral. If memory serves Boise called that "Circus" but live your dream.

Didn't that kid run into the endzone after and propose to his cheerleader girlfriend? I call that play..."the dumbass"
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: The Six on August 25, 2016, 01:31:12 PM
Didn't that kid run into the endzone after and propose to his cheerleader girlfriend? I call that play..."the dumbass"

That was the two point conversion, a.k.a. Statue Left. And, yes, he did. They are still married and have a kid.
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: dallaswareagle on August 25, 2016, 01:58:47 PM
Didn't that kid run into the endzone after and propose to his cheerleader girlfriend? I call that play..."the dumbass"

I'd call it "he prolly got some that night" play.
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: CCTAU on August 25, 2016, 03:12:33 PM
Didn't that kid run into the endzone after and propose to his cheerleader girlfriend? I call that play..."the dumbass"

I called it another step in the downfall of our pure society!
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 25, 2016, 03:18:35 PM
I called it another step in the downfall of our pure society!

These boys is not white!  Hell, they ain't even ole timey.
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: Snaggletiger on August 25, 2016, 03:19:07 PM
I called it another step in the downfall of our pure society!


 :blink:
Title: Re: Handy Reference Chart*
Post by: CCTAU on August 25, 2016, 03:19:28 PM
These boys is not white!  Hell, they ain't even ole timey.

I knowed somebody'd get it!