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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Townhallsavoy on August 18, 2014, 01:57:32 PM

Title: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Townhallsavoy on August 18, 2014, 01:57:32 PM
I know Six tried to start some shitty counterfeit and maybe many of you haven't realized it, but every year since this site started, I've started the "Make Your Predictions" thread prior to the season starting.  I didn't even realize I had done it every year until two seasons ago.  Consider this the prequel to the calling of the (you know what).

With that said, here are the rules for this season: Make 5 predictions that are mostly not too obvious.  It can be AU related but you may anger the football gods in bringing up Auburn football.

1.  Alabama loses three games and then a fourth in the bowl game and every Alabama fan and most national analysts will wrongly blame Lane Kiffin. 

2.  Florida State loses two games - one to Clemson and one to a team no one expects.

3.  LSU loses no more than two games and will win the SEC championship if they beat Auburn in October.

4.  The PAC 12 experiences a monumental shift in power as Oregon begins to deplete and Stanford's boring run and defense falters as their talent dwindles from the Harbaugh era.  Expect Washington, Wash St, UCLA and USC to be the new guns over the next three years but none of them will put up dominating records like Oregon in their reign.

5.  This year will be known as the Upset Year as many powerhouses that have been destroying teams over the past five years will be losing their footing.  With many non-traditional teams having good teams this year (See Ole Miss, Duke, UCLA) and good coaches building new programs (Louisville, Texas, Arizona, Washington), you can guarantee that most Saturdays will feature very unexpected wins and losses.

Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 18, 2014, 02:13:42 PM
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: WiregrassTiger on August 18, 2014, 02:25:57 PM
Ohio State makes the playoff.
The SEC wins the natty.
USC wins the East.
Charlie Ward is on the hot seat in Tejas after a 5 loss season.
Kiffin is not fired.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 18, 2014, 02:31:11 PM
Ohio State makes the playoff.
The SEC wins the natty.
USC wins the East.
Charlie Ward is on the hot seat in Tejas after a 5 loss season.
Kiffin is not fired.
These are all very, very wrong. I don't think you understand the concept.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: GH2001 on August 18, 2014, 02:31:20 PM
Ohio State makes the playoff.
The SEC wins the natty.
USC wins the East.
Charlie Ward is on the hot seat in Tejas after a 5 loss season.
Kiffin is not fired.

yes, but he was a GREAT QB! He needs a few more years.


Oregon/Stanford Winner does NOT go to Playoff
Iron Bowl Winner goes to Playoff
Ohio State/Michigan State Winner goes to playoff
FSU will lose a game
Jameis Winston will bang a hot white girl in season against her will and live to smile about it
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 18, 2014, 02:32:13 PM
yes, but he was a GREAT QB! He needs a few more years.

and a hell of an NBA basketball player!  I didn't realize he was coaching basketball at Texsa
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 18, 2014, 02:33:38 PM

Jameis Winston will bang a hot white girl in season against her will and live to smile about it
So a typical Friday night in Tallahassee then?
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: The Six on August 18, 2014, 02:34:16 PM
1. Cincinnati knocks off Ohio State (Typical Tommy Tuberville)

2. Stanford beats Oregon for the third year in a row.

3. David Shaw (Stanford) is hired away by a NFL team at season's end.

4. Heisman goes to a QB.

5. Muschamp gets run; Florida tries and fails to lure Gus away from Auburn; Finebaum and the Bammers make up some b.s. about NCAA stink on Gus being the reason he didn't get the UF job; UF hires a coach from the ACC.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: GH2001 on August 18, 2014, 02:37:50 PM
1. Cincinnati knocks off Ohio State and loses to Akron and Bowling Green by double digits. (Typical Tommy Tuberville)

2. Stanford beats Oregon for the third year in a row.

3. David Shaw (Stanford) is hired away by a NFL team at season's end.

4. Heisman goes to a QB.

5. Muschamp gets run; Florida tries and fails to lure Gus away from Auburn; Finebaum and the Bammers make up some b.s. about NCAA stink on Gus being the reason he didn't get the UF job; UF hires a coach from the ACC.

Iffin were being accurate about wingnut.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: The Six on August 18, 2014, 02:46:09 PM
Iffin were being accurate about wingnut.

No way he drops to Akron though. That's Buster Bowden's team, ya know.

(http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Terry+Bowden+Akron+v+Michigan+4WFsloDOBiQl.jpg)
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: GH2001 on August 18, 2014, 02:51:59 PM
No way he drops to Akron though. That's Buster Bowden's team, ya know.

(http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Terry+Bowden+Akron+v+Michigan+4WFsloDOBiQl.jpg)

Oh. Snap..

Never really thought about it. And if they played Louisville, that would be an awesome trifecta of Auburn's Drama Past.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Tiger Wench on August 18, 2014, 03:24:05 PM
1.  I'm sticking to my guns:  Cowpokes over Crabstealers, right out of the chute.  That game will be like a home game for the pokes, since it is in Dallas.  Lots of Okie State fans there, and lots of Free Seafood University Signs.

2.  Duke Williams will be THE GUY that gets talked about this year nationally for his incredible play.  Might be a dark horse Heisman candidate to the detriment of Nick.

3.  Turds lose one they should not.  I think it will be Ole Miss.  Gus and Dr. Freeze collaborate to develop a game plan.

4.  LSU surprises everyone with their new QB.  Lesticles always has some hidden jewels up his sleeve in addition to the large jewels in his shorts, and the West comes down to the winner of AU versus Corndog.

5.  Braxton Miller proves again that he is the most fragile QB in college not named Jeff Driskel and tOSU chokes on their own vomit.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Townhallsavoy on August 18, 2014, 03:30:04 PM
FSU loses to Petrino & Louisville


I really, really wanted to make that one.  I think it happens too but just can't claim it yet.

 
1.  I'm sticking to my guns:  Cowpokes over Crabstealers, right out of the chute.  That game will be like a home game for the pokes, since it is in Dallas.  Lots of Okie State fans there, and lots of Free Seafood University Signs.


I didn't even realize they were playing.  Wow, yeah.  I think FSU loses that one too.  No one is talking about how much Florida State lost in the offseason. 

They lose their #1 and 1st round draft pick receiver, starting running back, starting center, 2nd round pick DT, and big time playmaker Lamarcus Joyner.  I'm sure they have talent to fill it in and I don't necessarily dispute their preseason #1 ranking, but I fully expect them to struggle at times during the season. 
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: GH2001 on August 18, 2014, 03:51:56 PM
4.  LSU surprises everyone with their new QB.  Lesticles always has some hidden jewels up his sleeve in addition to the large jewels in his shorts, and the West comes down to the winner of AU versus Corndog.


This one ^^^ ya'll.

If there is another sec team that is getting shit on in the preseason as much as us, its the Corndogs. Miles has a better Winning % at LSU than Lord Nicky. Players love him, he's a likeable guy and he motivates his players. They have shit loads of talent and like TW said, he always does this shit when you least expect him to. Yeah, he does dumbass shit yearly, but the dude pulls 10-11 wins out of his ass every damn year.

But hey -  Bammer, UGA and Miss STATE!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: jmar on August 18, 2014, 03:56:03 PM
I'm betting that our defense shows significant improvement aaaand our offense too, just not dramatically.

The Turds are cruising along undefeated and again making travel plans while Les and Gus seem out of the mix UNTIL:

We skull fuck the Bammers out of their spot by winning the SEC West getting the nod over LSU due to head to head, whip Spurrier, win the rematch with Jaboo the Rapist and beat Baylor for the giant pen holder.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: wesfau2 on August 18, 2014, 07:28:42 PM
  • FSU loses to Petrino & Louisville
  • Gatahs lead the east the whole year after USCe loses to us.  Gatahs lose to USCe in their final SEC game to miss going to the SEC Championship.  They then lose to FSU and Muschamp is fired after going 10-2.
  • MSU finishes second in the West
  • Georgia finishes the season unranked, fans clamor for Mark Richt's head
  • The 4 team play-off consists of AU - FSU - Oregon - Michigan State
  • Lane kiffin is looking for work again by season's end

Rack him!

Except for that MSU take.  They'll be lucky to be 6-6.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: djsimp on August 18, 2014, 08:55:14 PM
One game at a time. AU/Ark

Here is my first prediction for the year:

The score will be 14-0 before Marshall even enters the the game in the 1st quarter with two JJ touchdown passes; one to Sammie and one to Duke.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: The Prowler on August 18, 2014, 09:46:21 PM
Georgia's DL will be really good
Jacob Coker will look like shit, whenever he gets in the game and does more than handoff and throw screens
UF will hire Kirby Smart as their HC...eventually realizing they just made another hiring blunder
Vanderbilt will be shitty like normal
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Tiger Wench on August 18, 2014, 11:12:49 PM
5.  Braxton Miller proves again that he is the most fragile QB in college not named Jeff Driskel and tOSU chokes on their own vomit.

BOOM. One right already. The Twatters are lighting up that he reinjured his surgically repaired shoulder at practice. 

What do I win, Don Pardo?

EDIT:  Confirmacion.  :cool: :cool:

Quote
Braxton Miller injured his right shoulder in practice today and it is feared he could miss the whole season. Miller injured the same shoulder in the Orange Bowl against Clemson and was slowly working back from surgery in February.

A source confirmed a Miller injury to cleveland.com and said that Miller left the field in significant pain after again hurting his right shoulder during a seven-on-seven drill on Monday. Miller had said, "I'm doing good," when talking to reporters about his progress after Monday morning's practice.

Miller had been limited during fall camp as he suffered through shoulder soreness stemming from offseason shoulder surgery. Urban Meyer said Saturday that he expected a big jump from the quarterback during Monday's practice.

If Miller's entire season is in jeopardy, it seems a good bet that Miller will not be available for the season opener on August 30 against Navy. should that be the case, J.T. Barrett, a redshirt-freshman who just recently surpassed sophomore Cardale Jones on the depth chart, would get the start.

Ohio State has not commented on the injury.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: GH2001 on August 19, 2014, 08:44:49 AM
BOOM. One right already. The Twatters are lighting up that he reinjured his surgically repaired shoulder at practice. 

What do I win, Don Pardo?

EDIT:  Confirmacion.  :cool: :cool:

Doesn't sound much like a Heisman candidate or a "weapon".
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 19, 2014, 09:07:14 AM
1.  Arizona will win 10 games and the PAC-12 South.  They will also take Oregon to the edge before losing a heartbreaker.

2.  Alabama will lose 2 or 3 games.  Talk about it, chalk it up, write it down, take it to the bank, bet the farm.  LSU, Auburn and possibly Ole Myth will take them down.

3.  Michigan State will win the Big Televen again and will make the NCAA championship game.

4.  Paul Finebaum will be forced to resign from whatever company he's now working for after he's busted trying to meet up with a 13 year old boy.

5.  Cincinnati will be in the playoff hunt until late November.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: War Eagle!!! on August 19, 2014, 09:34:20 AM
 
What do I win, Don Pardo?


Was this another intuition or did you edit this after you knew?
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 19, 2014, 09:36:15 AM
Was this another intuition or did you edit this after you knew?
No she nailed it. I just don't give enough of a crap about ohio state to care. Fuckin bama of the north.

They are my #2
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Saniflush on August 19, 2014, 09:38:55 AM
They are my #2

Really?  I have never looked before flushing.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 19, 2014, 09:42:55 AM
Rack him!

Except for that MSU take.  They'll be lucky to be 6-6.
I think Dak is the real deal. This is how I see them getting to 2nd

 Sat, Aug 30   Southern Miss   W
 Sat, Sep 06   UAB                   W
 Sat, Sep 13   South Alabama   W
 Sat, Sep 20   LSU                   W
 Sat, Oct 04   Texas A&M *       W
 Sat, Oct 11   Auburn *           L
 Sat, Oct 25   Kentucky *           W
 Sat, Nov 01   Arkansas *          W
 Sat, Nov 08   Tennessee-Martin  W
 Sat, Nov 15   Alabama *             L
 Sat, Nov 22   Vanderbilt *   W
 Sat, Nov 29   Ole Miss *           W

Finish 10-2

 
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 19, 2014, 09:43:22 AM
Really?  I have never looked before flushing.
I always look gotta check for buckeyes and bama worms.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: War Eagle!!! on August 19, 2014, 09:46:12 AM
No she nailed it. I just don't give enough of a crap about ohio state to care. Fuckin bama of the north.

They are my #2

No...about Don Pardo dying yesterday...
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 19, 2014, 09:47:04 AM
No...about Don Pardo dying yesterday...
Fuck don't mess with Wench she can see into the future.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Saniflush on August 19, 2014, 09:48:02 AM
Fuck don't mess with Wench she can see into the future.

She'll turn ya into a toad.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Godfather on August 19, 2014, 09:48:44 AM
She'll turn ya into a toad.
She turned me into a newt
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Ogre on August 19, 2014, 10:16:06 AM
She turned me into a newt

(https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSktq_ffaZPD-2OzaCq21Jwxnm_dQsM_dG2n7xzUiKef34QKcdK)
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Saniflush on August 19, 2014, 11:35:49 AM
She turned me into a newt

-10

(http://www.patrickmartin.com/papers/pardonDelmarSaved.jpg)
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 19, 2014, 11:40:33 AM
-10

(http://www.patrickmartin.com/papers/pardonDelmarSaved.jpg)

Do not seek the treasure
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: WiregrassTiger on August 19, 2014, 12:56:31 PM
Six's thread is much better.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: bgreene on August 19, 2014, 01:27:07 PM
BOOM. One right already. The Twatters are lighting up that he reinjured his surgically repaired shoulder at practice. 

What do I win, Don Pardo?

EDIT:  Confirmacion.  :cool: :cool:

Miller is out for the season
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 19, 2014, 01:31:20 PM
You can't fool me, TW.  You were on the bus back from Ohio yesterday weren't you?  Just had to have one correct prognostication.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Tiger Wench on August 19, 2014, 02:02:28 PM
You can't fool me, TW.  You were on the bus back from Ohio yesterday weren't you?  Just had to have one correct prognostication.

You got me, Buzzie.  Have to go north to find a Big O these days...

How do you think Braxton hurt his shoulder, hmm?   :cool:
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: AUownsU on August 19, 2014, 03:02:01 PM
I think Dak is the real deal. This is how I see them getting to 2nd

 Sat, Aug 30   Southern Miss   W
 Sat, Sep 06   UAB                   W
 Sat, Sep 13   South Alabama   W
 Sat, Sep 20   LSU                   W
 Sat, Oct 04   Texas A&M *       W
 Sat, Oct 11   Auburn *           L
 Sat, Oct 25   Kentucky *           W
 Sat, Nov 01   Arkansas *          W
 Sat, Nov 08   Tennessee-Martin  W
 Sat, Nov 15   Alabama *             L
 Sat, Nov 22   Vanderbilt *   W
 Sat, Nov 29   Ole Miss *           W

Finish 10-2
Would be a breakout year for them considering they haven't had a winning record in SEC play since 1999.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: jmar on August 19, 2014, 03:09:47 PM
I think Dak is the real deal. This is how I see them getting to 2nd

 Sat, Aug 30   Southern Miss   W
 Sat, Sep 06   UAB                   W
 Sat, Sep 13   South Alabama   W
 Sat, Sep 20   LSU                   W
 Sat, Oct 04   Texas A&M *       W
 Sat, Oct 11   Auburn *           L
 Sat, Oct 25   Kentucky *           W
 Sat, Nov 01   Arkansas *          W
 Sat, Nov 08   Tennessee-Martin  W
 Sat, Nov 15   Alabama *             L
 Sat, Nov 22   Vanderbilt *   W
 Sat, Nov 29   Ole Miss *           W

Finish 10-2
Butch Davis thinks Dak Prescott is a better running back than Nick Marshall.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: GH2001 on August 19, 2014, 04:21:29 PM
Butch Davis thinks Dak Prescott is a better running back than Nick Marshall.

He pretty thinks that anything that any other team has is better than anything Auburn has. Dude has a haterade hard on for us for some reason.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: The Prowler on August 21, 2014, 08:22:07 PM
Also, uat QB Jacob Coker will win the Heisman after I do...meaning never.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: dallaswareagle on August 22, 2014, 11:37:15 AM
Also, uat QB Jacob Coker will win the Heisman after I do...meaning never.


I thought he already won it this year?
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: jmar on August 22, 2014, 12:14:39 PM

I thought he already won it this year?
Jimbo wouldn't oversell the boy. He gots to have a champinship in him sommers.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Kaos on August 25, 2014, 06:54:14 AM
Forde isn't high on Tide. 

http://sports.yahoo.com/video/why-alabama-worst-season-years-181420780.html (http://sports.yahoo.com/video/why-alabama-worst-season-years-181420780.html)

I know he doesn't post here, but it's a prediction. 
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Buzz Killington on August 25, 2014, 08:47:15 AM
Forde isn't high on Tide. 

http://sports.yahoo.com/video/why-alabama-worst-season-years-181420780.html (http://sports.yahoo.com/video/why-alabama-worst-season-years-181420780.html)

I know he doesn't post here, but it's a prediction.

Holding my breath for a 3-9 campaign.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: AUChizad on August 25, 2014, 10:15:51 AM
Forde isn't high on Tide. 

http://sports.yahoo.com/video/why-alabama-worst-season-years-181420780.html (http://sports.yahoo.com/video/why-alabama-worst-season-years-181420780.html)

I know he doesn't post here, but it's a prediction.
Finally someone in the media cabal recognizes the cracks in the armor.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: Townhallsavoy on August 25, 2014, 10:41:20 AM
Finally someone in the media cabal recognizes the cracks in the armor.

I hate that it's the orange forehead wrinkle making the prediction.  Dude was a total sha'theed back in the Cam Newton saga.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: AUChizad on August 25, 2014, 11:33:24 AM
Bama will lose to us, LSU, and one of the Mississippi schools, but you all know that.

Not surrendering any game, and all that, but I think we lose one regular season game.

NOW HEAR ME OUT!

I think it's to South Carolina, but since we beat LSU & Bama, we represent the West in the SEC Championship and play...South Carolina. In which we get our revenge by beating them. That results in us being like #2 and them being #4. So we face them for a THIRD time in one season somewhere in the playoffs, possibly the title game.
Title: Re: The REAL Guarantee Thread for 2014
Post by: jmar on August 25, 2014, 11:40:17 AM
Finally someone in the media cabal recognizes the cracks in the armor.
Yeah but they basically have September off roh tahd.