Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: dallaswareagle on March 18, 2014, 01:14:48 PM
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John decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Ken.
So they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
'I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained, 'and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'
Don't worry,' John said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.'
The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of golf.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Ken and asked, 'Ken, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?'
'Yes, I do.' Said Ken.
'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'
Well, um, yes!,' Ken said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'
'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'
Ken's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
'She just died and left me everything.'
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Golf in a blizzard? Preposterous.
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Golf in a blizzard? Preposterous.
Never been to Europe? Many a time I left the kaserne where we were stationed and it was 75 and by the time we got up to the nuke site it was 31 and snowing.
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Golf in a blizzard? Preposterous.
My Aberdonian buddies tell me that they just use those neon colored golf balls in the snow. They play year round and that's on the North Sea coast. Hardcore.
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My Aberdonian buddies tell me that they just use those neon colored golf balls in the snow. They play year round and that's on the North Sea coast. Hardcore.
They do that in Edinburgh as well. The fog that rolls in there off the Firth is unbelievable.
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They do that in Edinburgh as well. The fog that rolls in there off the Firth is unbelievable.
I'll validate this when I am there in May.
We'll just see if those guys have neon colored balls!
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I'll validate this when I am there in May.
We'll just see if those guys have neon colored balls!
I'd start by asking the guys in the skirts. They love it when people ask that question...
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I'd start by asking the guys in the skirts. They love it when people ask that question...
Well. To avoid that question, I will just lean down and look.
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Most of them have a really large, hairy set of......wait...I mean, neon golf balls. Yeah, so you can find em' in the fog....and stuff.
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Blue. The answer is blue.
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Entirely unrelated to the discussion of Scotland's weather and views up a Scotsman's kilt, but I'm going to post it anyway.
Q: Why is the top of a pool table green?
A: You'd be green too if someone kept racking your balls!
Catch my full show this May on Carnival's Voyager of the Seas.