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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Kaos on October 08, 2013, 03:12:01 PM
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Since the selection of Condomleezus Rice has set the tone for the inaugural championship selection panel, let's take the criteria that seems to matter and choose the remaining members.
Criteria
1) Have some people think you are smart
2) Have allegedly heard of a football
3) Be able to speak
4) Be currently breathing
The Committee:
1) Condomleapus Rice (not my choice, but already there)
2) Stephen Hawking, although getting him out for the coin toss might prove a problem.
3) Peter Billingsley. He may have momentarily forgotten what a football was, but he knows. He always knows.
4) Jon Gries. In 1982 he could throw a pigskin a quarter mile
5) Drew Lachey. Had and discarded Jessica Simpson. Smart. Saw a football one time. Qualified. Can speak and breathes.
6) Stevie Wonder. Genius. Can't see, but that's not a criteria.
7) Oprah. Just because.
9) Denzel Washington. Played a football coach in a movie. Good enough.
10) Dolly Parton. Double smart and from the south. Sees two footballs daily.
11) Gene Simmons. Smart. Owns a football team.
12) Papa John. Threw a football in a commercial with Peyton Manning. Could start for 58 colleges at QB on that basis alone.
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13: Gene Chizik- Can stay out of the way of good football players, can't coach football players to be good.
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14. Chopper. He knows the format.
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I would like to nominate OJ Simpson.
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Tim Jackson?
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Miss Piggy. Not only has she seen a football but in an emergency she could be made into one.
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Nick Saban
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Danny Sheridan. Can pinpoint the odds.
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Danny Sheridan. Can pinpoint the odds.
And knows all the bagmen.
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And knows all the bagmen.
There is only one real bagman and he is THE BAG MAN.
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Captain Kangaroo, because he seems fair and mild mannered. I believe he knows his way around a pig skin.
What? He's been dead for years? Well, cross him off then.
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Captain Kangaroo, because he seems fair and mild mannered. I believe he knows his way around a pig skin.
What? He's been dead for years? Well, cross him off then.
Well, what about Mr. Green Jeans then.
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Well, what about Mr. Green Jeans then.
If his name was Red Jeans, maybe. Otherwise...no.
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John Gruden. Might as well seeing as how his name gets brought up with every other job opening in football.
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I don't get the uproar. The polls will still exist and will, likely, be the basis for the playoff discussion. Nothing changes except now numbers 5-infinity will bitch (until the inevitable expansion of the field) rather than numbers 3-infinity.
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I don't get the uproar. The polls will still exist and will, likely, be the basis for the playoff discussion. Nothing changes except now numbers 5-infinity will bitch (until the inevitable expansion of the field) rather than numbers 3-infinity.
Egg-Chachere. ESPN will tell us all who clearly stands at 1-4 and the polls will reflect this and committee will place them accordingly.
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Egg-Chachere.
Tony's on a deviled egg? I approve.
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I don't get the uproar. The polls will still exist and will, likely, be the basis for the playoff discussion. Nothing changes except now numbers 5-infinity will bitch (until the inevitable expansion of the field) rather than numbers 3-infinity.
It's because the playoff was introduced as a means to fix a broken system. Just like the BCS was introduced as a means to fix a broken system.
It would never have been perfect; however, choosing people on the committee that fail to gain the trust of the fans seems a real bad way to kick off the new "improved" system.
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It's because the playoff was introduced as a means to fix a broken system. Just like the BCS was introduced as a means to fix a broken system.
It would never have been perfect; however, choosing people on the committee that fail to gain the trust of the fans seems a real bad way to kick off the new "improved" system.
I get the pie-in-the-sky intent, but the reality is that the polls will still be the baseline...only now we don't have the mitigating rationality of the computer polls.
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I get the pie-in-the-sky intent, but the reality is that the polls will still be the baseline...only now we don't have the mitigating rationality of the computer polls.
^^^This, about the mitigating rationality computer. And stuff.
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I've got two nominations; Burt Reynolds and Adam Sandler. Their qualification is based upon them leading that team of convicts to an upset victory against those smug assed guards in The Longest Yard.
As a matter of fact, Sandler can be the committee chairman since he quarterbacked Fonzi's team to the National Championship.
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I pick me because I have 17 kids and somebody has to feed them.
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I've got two nominations; Burt Reynolds and Adam Sandler. Their qualification is based upon them leading that team of convicts to an upset victory against those smug assed guards in The Longest Yard.
As a matter of fact, Sandler can be the committee chairman since he quarterbacked Fonzi's team to the National Championship.
Sandler was also a former walk-on linebacker
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I've got two nominations; Burt Reynolds and Adam Sandler. Their qualification is based upon them leading that team of convicts to an upset victory against those smug assed guards in The Longest Yard.
As a matter of fact, Sandler can be the committee chairman since he quarterbacked Fonzi's team to the National Championship.
Momma was wrong, son
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How about this guy?
http://mojo.radio.cbssports.com/2013/09/06/gene-chizik-paul-finebaum-isnt-very-credible/ (http://mojo.radio.cbssports.com/2013/09/06/gene-chizik-paul-finebaum-isnt-very-credible/)
Chizik joined SiriusXM Radio this summer and said he’s enjoyed spending time with his family and following college football as a spectator. Still, we’ll probably see Chizik on a sideline once more – and sooner rather than later.
“We’re going to play it by ear,†he said. “We’ll see what happens. I had a couple opportunities – some requests and things of that nature – but I wanted to take a year off and step back and really just reflect a little bit. So I’m still doing football, I’m still studying the game, I’m still around it and I’m enjoying myself right now.â€
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How about this guy?
http://mojo.radio.cbssports.com/2013/09/06/gene-chizik-paul-finebaum-isnt-very-credible/ (http://mojo.radio.cbssports.com/2013/09/06/gene-chizik-paul-finebaum-isnt-very-credible/)
Chizik joined SiriusXM Radio this summer and said he’s enjoyed spending time with his family and following college football as a spectator. Still, we’ll probably see Chizik on a sideline once more – and sooner rather than later.
“We’re going to play it by ear,†he said. “We’ll see what happens. I had a couple opportunities – some requests and things of that nature – but I wanted to take a year off and step back and really just reflect a little bit. So I’m still doing football, I’m still studying the game, I’m still around it and I’m enjoying myself right now.â€
Good for Gene. He's actually pretty good on the radio show...opinionated in a way I wasn't sure he was capable of.
Did anyone see Van Stache on the NYJ sidelines last night?. Dude is a good coach, was just stuck in a toxic situation.
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Good for Gene. He's actually pretty good on the radio show...opinionated in a way I wasn't sure he was capable of.
Did anyone see Van Stache on the NYJ sidelines last night?. Dude is a good coach, was just stuck in a toxic situation.
Agree and yes
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Still, we’ll probably see Chizik on a sideline once more – and sooner rather than later.
I'm sorry I can't see him getting a Div. 1 job in any capacity.
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I'm sorry I can't see him getting a Div. 1 job in any capacity.
I think he easily gets a DC job at a major program. He's had too much success at the position for it to not happen. Not saying he'll still be successful, just saying he'll get the chance.
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I think he easily gets a DC job at a major program. He's had too much success at the position for it to not happen. Not saying he'll still be successful, just saying he'll get the chance.
:haha:
He has shown that he can't lead a program (twice) Both times he has won an NC he had phenomenal talent on the offensive side. And I guess the key word may be Major. I could see teams like Kansas or North Texas along those lines but Top tier, No way.
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:haha:
He has shown that he can't lead a program (twice) Both times he has won an NC he had phenomenal talent on the offensive side. And I guess the key word may be Major. I could see teams like Kansas or North Texas along those lines but Top tier, No way.
I'll clarify. I think he will coach in the SEC or ACC but maybe some stop at another school before he gets there. It may not be "major" (as subjective as that is) but I think he gets a DI job as DC.
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I'll clarify. I think he will coach in the SEC or ACC but maybe some stop at another school before he gets there. It may not be "major" (as subjective as that is) but I think he gets a DI job as DC.
I wouldn't be surprised to see his name mentioned for a job like UConn.