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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Saniflush on September 30, 2013, 10:21:14 AM

Title: Happy Birthday
Post by: Saniflush on September 30, 2013, 10:21:14 AM
you ole sailor you.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: WiregrassTiger on September 30, 2013, 10:25:57 AM
Happy Birfday. May you get some. And may it not be tainted with std's, atlthough tainted love is sometimes better. Because it comes from the taint, I guess. Anyway, sorry you're old.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 30, 2013, 10:31:29 AM
Well shiver me timbers.  I hope your rum keg is full to the gunnels and you wind up 3 sheets to the wind.  Aaaarrrgghh
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Shug Dye on September 30, 2013, 10:34:30 AM
PCT!!!!!! Happy Birthday!!!!! MWAH!!!!!


We still have that date to shit on Shane's grave?
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Buzz Killington on September 30, 2013, 10:35:40 AM
Happy Birfday.  May your day be filled with 12 year old scotch and 18 year old whures.  Or is it the other way around?  Well, either way.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: AWK on September 30, 2013, 10:47:31 AM
Happy Birthday you motor boatin' son of a bitch!
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: AUTiger1 on September 30, 2013, 10:58:11 AM
Happy Birfday.  May your day be filled with 12 year old scotch and 18 year old whures.  Or is it the other way around?  Well, either way.

What Buzz said, but add nice cigars. 
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: ssgaufan on September 30, 2013, 10:58:55 AM
Happy Birthday you ole Salty Dog
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Godfather on September 30, 2013, 11:01:56 AM
Happy Birthday to the original gay sailor!

Smoke one or three.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 30, 2013, 11:07:24 AM
It was a Russian ship. They taught me all about you imperialist swine. I was exposed to the works of great thinkers - Karl Marx, Lenin, L. Ron Hubbard, Freddie Laker.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Godfather on September 30, 2013, 11:08:49 AM
It was a Russian ship. They taught me all about you imperialist swine. I was exposed to the works of great thinkers - Karl Marx, Lenin, L. Ron Hubbard, Freddie Laker.

I know a little German. He's sitting over there.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Saniflush on September 30, 2013, 11:12:22 AM
It was a Russian ship. They taught me all about you imperialist swine. I was exposed to the works of great thinkers - Karl Marx, Lenin, L. Ron Hubbard, Freddie Laker.

I yelled and screamed, but it only seemed to excite them all the more.  They took advantage of me in ways I cannot describe.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: CCTAU on September 30, 2013, 11:27:22 AM
Happy birthday to the TAR baby!
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: djsimp on September 30, 2013, 11:49:29 AM
Happy Birthday yo
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Vandy Vol on September 30, 2013, 11:49:48 AM
Why do they call you a salty dog?  Is it because of the taste of your semen?

For your birthday, I'll be the judge of that.

Happy day of vaginal evacuation!
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: GH2001 on September 30, 2013, 11:53:31 AM
I'm sure you drank some Jameson and laid some waste on a certain deceased redneck's grave.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Snaggletiger on September 30, 2013, 12:06:09 PM
Why do they call you a salty dog?  Is it because of the taste of your semen?

For your birthday, I'll be the judge of that.

Happy day of vaginal evacuation!

I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Godfather on September 30, 2013, 12:20:34 PM
Happy Birthday yo
Lay off the breaking bad.....bitch.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: djsimp on September 30, 2013, 12:47:00 PM
Lay off the breaking bad.....bitch.

Yeah, bitch!

http://youtu.be/SMR-VBN7NyM (http://youtu.be/SMR-VBN7NyM)
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 30, 2013, 01:22:57 PM
Quote
An Army general, a Marine general and a Navy admiral are all sitting around discussing whose service is better and whose troops are the bravest.
 
The Army general announces to the group, "My soldiers are the BEST in the world and to prove it I'll have one do the impossible!" as he reaches for the phone. Well the other two commanders each one promptly calls for his best soldier.
 
When all three representatives have arrived, the general states, "Since it was my idea, I'm first." Turning to the soldier, he says, "Private, I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those 10 miles of shark-infested waters, climb up that sheer cliff and return with two bird eggs... unbroken of course."
 
The PFC took off running towards the cliff. After performing a triple-lindy into the water, the Ranger swam across the ten miles of ocean (all the while beating off sharks with his bare hands) and reaching the far cliff, he began climbing. Near the top of the cliff, he grabs the two eggs and starts back down (all the time, fighting off mean birds). Upon reaching the sea he swims back across (once again fighting off sharks) and climbs back up the first cliff. He then runs over to the admiral and hands him the two unbroken eggs.
 
The Marine general says, "That wasn't anything," and turning to his Marine he says, "Corporal, I want you to go down that cliff, swim across those waters, climb that other cliff, then move across the four miles of unmapped jungle and bring me back two eggs from the mountain on the other side of the jungle."
 
And with that the corporal moved out. Traveling down the cliff, swimming across the sea, climbing the far cliff, moving through the jungle and upon reaching the two eggs, he heads back (all the while fighting off lions, tigers, bears, sharks, and mean birds). Finally reaching the general, the Marine hands him the eggs.
 
The admiral smiles then says, "Very nice gentlemen," and turning towards his sailor he says, "Chief, I want you to go down that cliff, across that sea, up the far cliff, through the four miles of unmapped jungle, over the mountain and bring me back two eggs from the forest on the other side."
 
The Chief looks at the admiral, then the cliff, and again back to the admiral, where he says "SCREW YOU SIR, GO GET YOUR OWN EGGS!" renders a proper hand salute and walks away.
 
The admiral turns towards the other two (both with their jaws on the table) and says "Now gentlemen, THAT'S bravery."

To the bravest man I know.  Ole Mike Riata had no clue who he was fucking with. 

Happy birthday, honey!!  Looking forward to seeing you soon, Chief!  First bottle's on me!!
 
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Ogre on September 30, 2013, 02:05:08 PM
Happy Birthday to Cam's rich white uncle.  They still haven't caught you. 
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Vandy Vol on September 30, 2013, 02:34:55 PM
I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Sorry...I knew that "vaginal evacuation" was a little too over the top, but I went with it anyways.
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Godfather on September 30, 2013, 04:10:32 PM
One day, a little boy was peeing in a public restroom when a sailor walked in.

"Wow, mister! Are you a real sailor?"

"I sure am. Would you like to wear my hat?"

"Yeah! Awesome!" said the little boy and starting jumping for joy. Soon, a Marine walked in.

"Wow, mister! Are you a real Marine?"

"I sure am. Would you like to suck my dick?"

"Oh, no, mister I'm not a real sailor. I'm just borrowing the hat."
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Pell City Tiger on September 30, 2013, 08:21:28 PM
Thanks for the wonderful wishes! You fuckers made my day!

November - Auburn vs Georgia - get your asses to the Loveliest Village 'cause shit is gonna get real!
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: djsimp on September 30, 2013, 08:31:47 PM
Thanks for the wonderful wishes! You fuckers made my day!

November - Auburn vs Georgia - get your asses to the Loveliest Village 'cause shit is gonna get real!

You cooking up a batch?!
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: The Six on September 30, 2013, 09:35:53 PM
Happy Birthday!
Title: Re: Happy Birthday
Post by: Tiger Wench on September 30, 2013, 11:04:45 PM
Thanks for the wonderful wishes! You fuckers made my day!

November - Auburn vs Georgia - get your asses to the Loveliest Village 'cause shit is gonna get real!

Oh MAN. I am counting the days. Cannot arrive soon enough. Going to be hard to top last year but if anyone can do it, it's this crew.