Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: dallaswareagle on September 11, 2013, 11:26:43 AM
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Number 4 was my favorite.
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel
and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.And now, the honorable
mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting
machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger.. The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives
you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast... The
frustrated gunman walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man
curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman
said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged
his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best
laugh he'd ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
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This was actually pretty damn awesome...
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable
and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
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4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
During college, I was in a two year relationship with a great guy from a good family that just loved me to pieces. My family loved him, his family loved me, kumbayah, all was right with the world, etc. - except that I did not love him, could not love him, and was desperate to get out of the relationship. But whenever I tried to talk it over with my family, I got "Oh, you've got cold feet, blah blah, you'd be crazy not to marry him." And I started dreaming this exact same scenario - I was locked up in a crazy ward, and I could escape, but my friends and family would send me right back, and no one would believe me when I would say I was fine. It was a horrible feeling, and really left me stressed out.
One day I mentioned it to my psych professor, and he asked if I was being pressured into anything, and I said "Well, yes, an engagement." He said "Listen to your subsconcious. It's telling you something."
Dumped the guy that very day. Told family and friends to kiss off - if he was so awesome, they could marry him.
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4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
During college, I was in a two year relationship with a great guy from a good family that just loved me to pieces. My family loved him, his family loved me, kumbayah, all was right with the world, etc. - except that I did not love him, could not love him, and was desperate to get out of the relationship. But whenever I tried to talk it over with my family, I got "Oh, you've got cold feet, blah blah, you'd be crazy not to marry him." And I started dreaming this exact same scenario - I was locked up in a crazy ward, and I could escape, but my friends and family would send me right back, and no one would believe me when I would say I was fine. It was a horrible feeling, and really left me stressed out.
One day I mentioned it to my psych professor, and he asked if I was being pressured into anything, and I said "Well, yes, an engagement." He said "Listen to your subsconcious. It's telling you something."
Dumped the guy that very day. Told family and friends to kiss off - if he was so awesome, they could marry him.
Well, did they?
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#1 was the only legitimate candidate. And only if he had not procreated yet.
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Well, did they?
Nope. They shut up.
He is now a washed up commercial real estate salesman in New Orleans with a wife and three kids. Has never held a legitimate job in his life that his dad or father in law did not get for him. Nice guy but he definitely has a huge "L" on his forehead.
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Nope. They shut up.
He is now a washed up commercial real estate salesman in New Orleans with a wife and three kids. Has never held a legitimate job in his life that his dad or father in law did not get for him. Nice guy but he definitely has a huge "L" on his forehead.
All because of you...way to go Wench...just piss all over this poor sob.
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All because of you...way to go Wench...just piss all over this poor sob.
Heartless bitch
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All because of you...way to go Wench...just piss all over this poor sob.
Posted by: Snaggletiger« on: Today at 02:38:42 PM »
Heartless bitch
Perhaps I should point out that he is a Turd fan. This also contributed to his dismissal with prejudice.
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Nope. They shut up.
He is now a washed up commercial real estate salesman in New Orleans with a wife and three kids. Has never held a legitimate job in his life that his dad or father in law did not get for him. Nice guy but he definitely has a huge "L" on his forehead.
He's Lesbian?
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He's Lesbian?
Don't go hatin' on the Middle Easterners. All Muslims aren't evil.