Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Townhallsavoy on August 09, 2013, 05:16:10 PM
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I realized the other day that I do the same thing every morning and have for at least six years now.
I wake up.
I stumble downstairs and put on a pot of coffee.
I then get the dog and take her out to pee and then feed her.
Then I pour about two tablespoons worth of coffee and drink it.
Then I take a shit.*
Then I take the dog to shit.
Then I pour a full cup of coffee and sip it until it's gone or cold.
Then I cook breakfast - eggs or oatmeal - and eat it.
Then I watch a little TV.
Then I maybe shower.
*If the morning shit does not happen, I don't do anything else that day. In fact, I took two days off of work this past school year because the morning shit didn't happen. Called in sick.
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I have two morning routines.
Summer routine.
Hit snooze 4 times, finally wake up.
Iron clothes.
Take a shower.
Cook 2 pieces of sausage and 2 fried eggs, then eat.
Wash dishes that I cooked with.
Brush teeth.
Put on clothes that I ironed.
Get to work with 1 minute to spare, and tell my supervisor that I'll be a little earlier on the next day, mostly because it pisses him off and he's not allowed to do anything about it.
School mornings.
Wake up.
Wake up my 2 kids.
Chaos ensues.
Get to work 25 minutes early and bitch about whatever dumb shit I had to deal with that morning because of my kids.
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Same as Token, I have two routines.
Summer
Hit the snooze a couple of times.
Stagger to the sink and brush teeth.
Stagger into shower.
Get dressed.
Get a bottled water, some kind of fruit and stagger out the door.
Continue to stay pissed at the world until I get to work and get a cup of coffee. Usually 5 minutes late. Fuck you construction!
School
Fly straight up in the air as my son yells "bye daddy, I love you" as he, the wife and youngest head out the door.
Do the same routine as above except get there about 10 minutes early and pissed off. Fuck you school traffic!
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Most mornings.
5:30: Up and headed to the gym. Take my clothes etc. there so I can shave/shower
7:15: Atlanta Bread Company for coffee and one of 3-4 different things for breakfast. Newspaper and talk amongst the regulars. We all sit in assigned seats like church pews. We then solve all the world's problems.
8:00: To work where I live the glamorous life of a high powered, highly compensated Dothan attorney. That "life" consists of sitting at my desk, phone in one ear, hands on the keyboard working on files and bullshitting on the X. Yep, it's all $$$, leather-bound books, rich mahogany furniture, bourbon and Chinese take out. Just like the real lawyers on TV.
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8:00: To work where I live the glamorous life of a high powered, highly compensated Dothan attorney. That "life" consists of sitting at my desk, phone in one ear, hands on the keyboard working on files and bullshitting on the X. Yep, it's all $$$, leather-bound books, rich mahogany furniture, bourbon and Chinese take out. Just like the real lawyers on TV.
A friend of mine is a plaintiff attorney and told me that his job is tedious and boring, but he brings home about $8k a month and reads football websites for half of the day.
Made me want to go to law school.
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A friend of mine is a plaintiff attorney and told me that his job is tedious and boring, but he brings home about $8k a month and reads football websites for half of the day.
Made me want to go to law school.
Ed Zachary....except for the $8K/mo.
I ain't working for peanuts like that, ya' know.
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Party balls deep.
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Wake up at 5:30
Shave and shower
At the shop by 6:00
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Tumble outta bed
And stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawnin, stretchin, try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin
And folks like me on the job from 9 to 5
And then I stare at my gigantic breasts.
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I miss watching :bugs: in the morning.
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Wake up at 5:00 am.
I turn on the shower, go take a leak, come back and get in the shower.
I get out, shave and brush my teeth. It's now 5:20.
I grab my clothes for the day and walk to the kitchen.
I feed and water the dogs.
I make a pot of coffee using 3 tablespoons of Folgers.
While the coffee is brewing I pour a bowl of Special K Red Berries (don't judge me).
I go back and pour a travel mug of coffee.
I sit at my kitchen table and eat my cereal and read my Bible. It's now 5:35.
I get done around 6:00, and I break out the iron and iron my clothes.
The kids wake up and I get them fed/clothed.
I leave the house at 7:05 and take the kids to school, then head to work.
As I read this, I realize the 24 year old me would kick the 33 year old me's ass.
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the 24 year old me would kick the 33 year old me's ass.
Just burn his forehead with your James Avery cross.
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Oddly enough I don't have one.
Every day is different even as to the time I wake up. Sometimes it's 4 a.m. Sometimes, like today, it's 7:30. Some days I don't bother until it's too late to get a biscuit at Chick Fil A.
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Tumble outta bed
And stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
Yawnin, stretchin, try to come to life
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin
Out on the streets
The traffic starts jumpin
And folks like me on the job from 9 to 5
And then I stare at my gigantic breasts.
I chortled...well played sir.
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Just burn his forehead with your James Avery cross.
For the win!!!
I think I might just close down the interwebs...fuck...
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Wake up at 5:00 am.
I turn on the shower, go take a leak, come back and get in the shower.
I get out, shave and brush my teeth. It's now 5:20.
I grab my clothes for the day and walk to the kitchen.
I feed and water the dogs.
I make a pot of coffee using 3 tablespoons of Folgers.
While the coffee is brewing I pour a bowl of Special K Red Berries (don't judge me).
I go back and pour a travel mug of coffee.
I sit at my kitchen table and eat my cereal and read my Bible. It's now 5:35.
I get done around 6:00, and I break out the iron and iron my clothes.
The kids wake up and I get them fed/clothed.
I leave the house at 7:05 and take the kids to school, then head to work.
As I read this, I realize the 24 year old me would kick the 33 year old me's ass.
Dude, you know you have a wife right?
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Dude, you know you have a wife right?
Did you notice there was never any mention of a mirror, because he doesn't want to steal his own soul.
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Did you notice there was never any mention of a mirror, because he doesn't want to steal his own soul.
I wasn't sure if he would be able to see his own reflection or not.
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Roll out of the sack every mornin', head on down to the mill
Give 'em all I got for eight, 'cause that's the deal.
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No matter what time I get up, I always go piss then brush my teeth. I can't stand having morning breath.
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No matter what time I get up, I always go piss then brush my teeth. I can't stand having morning breath.
This actually works.
(https://www.mysupermarket.com/Repository/Products_1000/75/046475.jpg?v=2)
Puts an end to that routine.
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Dude, you know you have a wife right?
I judge him more for brewing that weak assed pot of coffee
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I judge him more for brewing that weak assed pot of coffee
Easy killer. I make just enough to fill two travel mugs. When I go full-pot I use 5 scoops.
Dude, you know you have a wife right?
I handle the mornings and she handles the afternoons/evenings.
Just burn his forehead with your James Avery cross.
Who are you? And why does it smell like nacho cheese in here?
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Easy killer. I make just enough to fill two travel mugs. When I go full-pot I use 5 scoops.
Annnnnnd totally redeemed yourself. Still wanna go to aspen?
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Annnnnnd totally redeemed yourself. Still wanna go to aspen?
Go west. Go west, boy!
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The best part of waking up, is 3 tablespoons of Folger's in your cup.
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The best part of waking up, is 3 tablespoons of Folger's in your cup.
It's no apple fritter and skinny mocha-latte from Atlanta Bread Company, but it'll do.
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It's no apple fritter and skinny mocha-latte from Atlanta Bread Company, but it'll do.
Pfffffft.....orange mocha frappacino is the way to go.
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Woke up quick at about noon, just thought that I had to be in Compton soon. I gotta get drunk before the day begins.
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Wake up as the alarm goes off at 5:00
Hit snooze button
Wake up at 5:09 as alarm goes off again
Roll over and push the wife out of bed
Roll back over and hit snooze button
Wake up again at 5:18 as alarm has somehow fit an earbud directly into my left ear canal
Turn alarm off
Wake up again at about 5:30 as the wife opens the bathroom door after washing her hair
Stagger into the bathroom, start the water in the shower
Piss
Step on the scale
Cuss at said scale while I kick it across the room
Hop in the shower at around 5:35
Towel off, dance around the bathroom naked
Dry my hair, shave and then brush my teeth
Wake Buzz Jr. up so he can get his shower
Iron my shirt
Make Buzz Jr's breakfast
Read the emails that came overnight and cuss at the idiots who sent them
Feed the dog
Round them up so we can get to the bus stop and not have to chase the bus down from behind...again
Stop at Whataburger for a bacon BOB and a large coffee
Make it to my office at around 7:30
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Jesus christ some of you take a coons age to get ready.
Up at 7:45 -Shower, Dress - At work by 8:20.
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Jesus christ some of you take a coons age to get ready.
Up at 7:45 -Shower, Dress - At work by 8:20.
(http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/091/284/eso_es_racista.gif?1294075992)
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Surprising no one mentions yanking it...
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Surprising no one mentions yanking it...
Night time routine
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Surprising no one mentions yanking it...
Just figured it was understood.