Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports
The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: AUChizad on July 15, 2008, 03:59:27 PM
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So I'm at work today, and at about 10:30 I get a call from the police asking if I was the owner of the house at my address. And then informing me that I'd better get home.
Apparently some woman was driving by and saw a dog in the road. She got out to get the dog or something, but left the car in drive, and her car barreled down my front yard straight into the side of my house.
She ran over these railroad ties...
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264499_4909.jpg)
...then jumped over these plants...
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264698_5409.jpg)
...hit the tree and left a piece of her blinker...
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264700_6038.jpg)
...and then proceeded to barrel straight into my house. Note the tire tracks.
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264498_4598.jpg)
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(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264497_4294.jpg)
Luckily, as you can see, the keg and the beer pong table remained in tact.
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264496_3983.jpg)
Good thing my car wasn't parked in the garage...
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264488_1815.jpg)
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264489_2187.jpg)
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(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264491_2476.jpg)
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264493_3069.jpg)
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264494_3370.jpg)
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264495_3670.jpg)
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She took out my lockers...
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264500_5232.jpg)
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264501_5533.jpg)
(http://photos-041.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v298/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38264502_5841.jpg)
No one was hurt, and if I had to pick a spot on my house for her to plow through, I guess my garage while my car wasn't in it isn't too bad. Sucks for her insurance rates.
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Sucks for her insurance rates.
Lucky break for you that no one was injured and there is minimal (relatively speaking) property damage.
Fucking stupid people will fuck up everyone's insurance rates.
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Why do I find this funny?
Let me tell you the "Story of Reggie"
When I was about 20 I lived in an apartment complex with a bunch of my friends. In the upstairs apartment across from us lived Reggie. He was the prototypical Jheri-Curled faux leather jacket wearing super fly of the mid 80s. Wore one glove. But worked at the chicken plant. Reggie was married to a 300-lb woman. When they had relations, the bed would scream and the frame would leap up and down like a four-legged pogo stick slamming on the roof of the apt. below. They had relations a lot. It got to the point that when they started, the guy who had the downstairs bedroom would call us and we'd go wait them out and then applaud and cheer loudly at the conclusion. Reggie was cool with it.
Reggie drove a 1977 Oldmobile Cutlass. Black.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/14/Oldsmobile_Cutlass_Supreme.jpg/800px-Oldsmobile_Cutlass_Supreme.jpg)
One day Reggie comes wheeling into the parking lot while we're outside playing basketball. He's got a freshly sprayed and glistening hair-do. The Michael Jackson jacket is on. Driving gloves -- maybe just one. And Raybans. One of the guys calls out "Look at REGGIE!" And Reggie decides to be cool. Hits the gas and careens into a parking spot. Guess he meant to hit the brake and skid to a stop. He didn't. He accidentally stomped the gas as he made the cut. He was already moving fast and when he floored the gas, the tires barked. The car hit the curb, sailed upward, clipped the top half of the airconditioning unit and climbed it. Nose of the car hit the wall of the apartment about four feet up. Momentum carried the Cutlass through the wall. Ass end of the car was sticking out. Reggie hadn't let off the gas. Back wheels were screaming.
Car landed in the bedroom of a friend of ours. He was in the room asleep at the time. Used the "trauma" of nearly being killed to ditch two final exams -- both of which were eventually waived. He is now, of course, a lawyer. Reggie was unhurt. Not a curl misplaced. The Cutlass suffered minor paint scratches and a hole in the chrome.
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I think I just peed on myself a little.
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At least you got half a day off of work, and you have a secret bat cave entrance into your house. Make Jacob fix it, he is a construction worker afterall.
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At least you got half a day off of work, and you have a secret bat cave entrance into your house. Make Jacob fix it, he is a construction worker afterall.
So Chad no longer dates budding law students? He's moved on to construction workers? Throw an Indian and a cop in and you got most of the Village People.
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At least you got half a day off of work, and you have a secret bat cave entrance into your house. Make Jacob fix it, he is a construction worker afterall.
He is. NatCo is anyway. Corey said if he's not the first one at work when they start this, he's fired.
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He is. NatCo is anyway. Corey said if he's not the first one at work when they start this, he's fired.
Thats funny, too bad his dumbass will probably sleep in.
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Actually, I made all that shit about the lady and the dog up.
This is what really happened. I will present this to my claims adjuster so that he can see exactly how the damage was done.
(http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v265/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38272668_5151.jpg)
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Actually, I made all that shit about the lady and the dog up.
This is what really happened. I will present this to my claims adjuster so that he can see exactly how the damage was done.
(http://photos-e.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-snc1/v265/174/83/7008041/n7008041_38272668_5151.jpg)
That dirty whore.
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Kaos's "pogo" bed post story reminded me of good times at a friend of mine's apartment in Auburn. No long story here, just funny memories of a one-legged man that lived upstairs that hated my friends that lived underneath him. When he'd get pissed, he's get up and start hopping up and down in the middle of his living room. We'd all just shout "Shut the fuck up POGO!"....chortle a little, drink another beer...and he'd stop... repeat about six times per evening...
.....anyway... Carry one with your story...
The Mr. Kool-Aid pic is classic Chad! Hahaha! :vn:
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Thats fucked up Chad, I almost got into a fistfight at Wal-Mart last night.
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Thats fucked up Chad, I almost got into a fistfight at Wal-Mart last night.
Please to be elaborating. I have a feeling this will be a good story.
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Thats fucked up Chad, I almost got into a fistfight at Wal-Mart last night.
Thats what you get for going to the LakeShore Wal-Mart.
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Please to be elaborating. I have a feeling this will be a good story.
I went to the Gardendale Wal-Mart for grocery's last night. In my cart was a 6 pack of beer, as I'm checking out I notice the cashier's not 21 which means she cant sell me the beer, she must have a CSM scan it which takes about 3 minutes, I told her not to worry about the beer and that I would just pay and leave. Until this asshole one back decided to jump in, Whats the problem, I'm tired of waiting, Beer, he can go buy that somewhere else. I told this 50+ year old fuck that he could wait to buy his Depends until I was fucking done, I let him know that since he was such as asshole we would wait as long as I wanted! I asked if he would like me to kick his fucking ass all over Wal-mart and he shut the fuck up at that point. I must have fuck with me written on my forehead!
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I went to the Gardendale Wal-Mart for grocery's last night. In my cart was a 6 pack of beer, as I'm checking out I notice the cashier's not 21 which means she cant sell me the beer, she must have a CSM scan it which takes about 3 minutes, I told her not to worry about the beer and that I would just pay and leave. Until this asshole one back decided to jump in, Whats the problem, I'm tired of waiting, Beer, he can go buy that somewhere else. I told this 50+ year old fuck that he could wait to buy his Depends until I was fucking done, I let him know that since he was such as asshole we would wait as long as I wanted! I asked if he would like me to kick his fucking ass all over Wal-mart and he shut the fuck up at that point. I must have fuck with me written on my forehead!
You go Girl. I can't see you getting mad Jason, you seem like too much of a nice guy. However, thats funny.
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That is funny. I love people who try to be big and bad until they meet someone tougher than themselves.
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I went to the Gardendale Wal-Mart for grocery's last night. In my cart was a 6 pack of beer, as I'm checking out I notice the cashier's not 21 which means she cant sell me the beer, she must have a CSM scan it which takes about 3 minutes, I told her not to worry about the beer and that I would just pay and leave. Until this asshole one back decided to jump in, Whats the problem, I'm tired of waiting, Beer, he can go buy that somewhere else. I told this 50+ year old fuck that he could wait to buy his Depends until I was fucking done, I let him know that since he was such as asshole we would wait as long as I wanted! I asked if he would like me to kick his fucking ass all over Wal-mart and he shut the fuck up at that point. I must have fuck with me written on my forehead!
Good story. The Wal Marks is always good for a laugh.
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All assholes need to be put in their place. You're doing God's work, Jason :thumbsup:
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I always try to be nice in every situation, but a prick being rude I just cant take. I just wanted my beer and ncaa 09 is that too much to ask?
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I always try to be nice in every situation, but a prick being rude I just cant take. I just wanted my beer and ncaa 09 is that too much to ask?
Completely unrelated, I saw The Dark Knight last night and it was fucking awesome.
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I always try to be nice in every situation, but a prick being rude I just cant take. I just wanted my beer and ncaa 09 is that too much to ask?
I'll be willing to bet that guy was a bammer too.
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I'll be willing to bet that guy was a bammer too.
He did have a the sleave's cut out of his stained shirt.
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Story from my H.S. days at Jeff Davis. I was like everyone else, partied and got in a few fist fights here and there. There's always a hang out and ours at that time was a convenience store parking lot. Always 10-12 cars with stereos blasting, beer drinking...the usual. One night, these 4 guys from Lee High School (Wooo, our big rival) pulled up and started talking shit to some guys from our school. Apparently. there was some history between em'. Anyway, the shit talk escalates and they agree to meet in a parking lot up the road. Of course, word gets around quick and there's a parade of cars headed up to see the main event.
The two car loads meet as planned but they didn't just get out of the cars ready to start swinging. They got out with chains, knives, a long fuckin' walkin' tall stick and other shit. I was standing there thinking, "What the fuck? They're not really gonna'..."
Oh yes they were...and they did. Within about 60 seconds, there were guys knocked the fuck out, sliced up, being choked out with a chain. I saw one guy get hit in the face full swing with that stick and he dropped like a rock. I thought he was dead. All of us spectators jumped back in our cars and got the hell out of there.
The moral to this story is something I realized that night. There is ALWAYS somebody out there that's a bigger bad ass than you. And they WILL fuck you up quick. A fist fight is one thing. These guys didn't care what they had to do put each other in the hospital. Yeah, I ran like a bitch away from that. That shit was out of my league.
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Yeah, I ran like a bitch away from that. That shit was out of my league.
You may not be as dumb as I first suspected.
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Story from my H.S. days at Jeff Davis. I was like everyone else, partied and got in a few fist fights here and there. There's always a hang out and ours at that time was a convenience store parking lot. Always 10-12 cars with stereos blasting, beer drinking...the usual. One night, these 4 guys from Lee High School (Wooo, our big rival) pulled up and started talking shit to some guys from our school. Apparently. there was some history between em'. Anyway, the shit talk escalates and they agree to meet in a parking lot up the road. Of course, word gets around quick and there's a parade of cars headed up to see the main event.
The two car loads meet as planned but they didn't just get out of the cars ready to start swinging. They got out with chains, knives, a long fuckin' walkin' tall stick and other shit. I was standing there thinking, "What the fuck? They're not really gonna'..."
Oh yes they were...and they did. Within about 60 seconds, there were guys knocked the fuck out, sliced up, being choked out with a chain. I saw one guy get hit in the face full swing with that stick and he dropped like a rock. I thought he was dead. All of us spectators jumped back in our cars and got the hell out of there.
The moral to this story is something I realized that night. There is ALWAYS somebody out there that's a bigger bad ass than you. And they WILL fuck you up quick. A fist fight is one thing. These guys didn't care what they had to do put each other in the hospital. Yeah, I ran like a bitch away from that. That shit was out of my league.
Pussy.
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Pussy.
There is currently a moratorium on you calling anyone a pussy.
Pussy.
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Pussy.
Shouldn't you be with your life partner shopping for gfits for Thrilla's baby shower?
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Shouldn't you be with your life partner shopping for gfits for Thrilla's baby shower?
This guy gets it.
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This guy gets it.
I think we're going to the Home Depot. Maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond. I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
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I think we're going to the Home Depot. Maybe Bed, Bath and Beyond. I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time.
C'mon...funnel one beer. We know the old Ogre is in there somewhere.
Set THE BRAIN FREE!
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I'm already on a 3 day bender, and the weekend is just now upon me. It's not looking too good for the ol' liver.
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I'm already on a 3 day bender, and the weekend is just now upon me. It's not looking too good for the ol' liver.
Tell your liver to quit being a pussy.
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Tell your liver to quit being a pussy.
Why don't buy a dress Brad?...because if you are going to act like a bitch you might as well dress like one.
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Why don't buy a dress Brad?...because if you are going to act like a bitch you might as well dress like one.
Damn.
Busted like Britney's kid-spitter.
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C'mon...funnel one beer. We know the old Ogre is in there somewhere.
Set THE BRAIN FREE!
Brad, Brad, Brad :clap:
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Why don't buy a dress Brad?...because if you are going to act like a bitch you might as well dress like one.
I know this guy isn't talking shit. If anyone here has no room to talk, it's Taylor "Skipping Through The" Meadows.
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I never thought I would see the day when the OompaLoompa would be bitching about having to drink!
On a side note I am about to board a plane for west palm beach and the only thing I am thinking is "I hope there is an undertaker on this flight." Aren't there some early bird specials these people need to be harassing?
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I know this guy isn't talking shit. If anyone here has no room to talk, it's Taylor "Skipping Through The" Meadows.
Catfight!
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I know this guy isn't talking shit. If anyone here has no room to talk, it's Taylor "Skipping Through The" Meadows.
Never trust a ginger daywalker.