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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Tiger Wench on June 09, 2008, 04:27:57 PM

Title: Funny Contract language
Post by: Tiger Wench on June 09, 2008, 04:27:57 PM
I am working on a contract for the provision of well fluids and related services in India.  The contract has obviously been written by someone who speaks English, but not as a first language.  Given that this is a FLUIDS contract, which wil be performed by expat Americans, many of whom are from deep south Louisiana, the following provisions are even more hilarious.

4.2.8:  Contractor Personnel shall honour and observe Indian standards of morality and behavior.

6.2:  Women will not be allowed to work at Company work sites between the hours of 7pm and 6am.

Then the following Article appears - the gist of the provision is that Contractor will make sure of all potential concerns arising from the performance of the work (weather, location, supply of materials, etc.) that could affect his price.  However, with the other two provisions in mind, the implications of this heading take an uncomfortable turn:

9.1  Contractor to Satisfy Himself
Title: Re: Funny Contract language
Post by: Buzz Killington on June 09, 2008, 04:32:12 PM
9.1  Contractor to Satisfy Himself
I think my wife wrote this.
Title: Re: Funny Contract language
Post by: Tiger Six on June 10, 2008, 12:19:16 PM


4.2.8:  Contractor Personnel shall honour and observe Indian standards of morality and behavior.



I think this clause was part of the boilerplate specs for the KBR contract for our DFAC.
Title: Re: Funny Contract language
Post by: Pell City Tiger on June 10, 2008, 01:21:04 PM
I am working on a contract for the provision of well fluids and related services in India.  The contract has obviously been written by someone who speaks English, but not as a first language.  Given that this is a FLUIDS contract, which wil be performed by expat Americans, many of whom are from deep south Louisiana, the following provisions are even more hilarious.

4.2.8:  Contractor Personnel shall honour and observe Indian standards of morality and behavior.

6.2:  Women will not be allowed to work at Company work sites between the hours of 7pm and 6am.

Then the following Article appears - the gist of the provision is that Contractor will make sure of all potential concerns arising from the performance of the work (weather, location, supply of materials, etc.) that could affect his price.  However, with the other two provisions in mind, the implications of this heading take an uncomfortable turn:

9.1  Contractor to Satisfy Himself
Speaking as a fellow who has abused my olfactory organs by walking the streets of Bombay, I can assure you that the provision described in 9.1 is definately a viable solution. Indian women smell like bad curry and sweat.
Title: Re: Funny Contract language
Post by: Snaggletiger on June 10, 2008, 01:26:15 PM
Mmmm, sweaty curry.
Title: Re: Funny Contract language
Post by: wesfau2 on June 10, 2008, 01:33:13 PM
Mmmm, sweaty curry.

Sounds like a band that would contribute to a punk Bollywood movie: Sweat Curry and the Pitstains.