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The Library => Haley Center Basement => Topic started by: Kaos on April 23, 2008, 06:22:14 PM

Title: What we have here is...
Post by: Kaos on April 23, 2008, 06:22:14 PM
I'm going to write a book of this stuff one day.  The following is a true story:


Had an early morning appointment today and left the house at 3:30 a.m.  Passed a fast-food place around 4:20 and decided to cut through the drivethrough to get me an early-morning start.  Pull to the speaker and order a steak and egg biscuit combo. 

Go to the window exchange dollars for a bag and a drink and pull out.   Before I leave the parking lot, I open the bag and find a bacon and egg biscuit instead.  Since noone is in line, I pull back through the drivethrough and get to the window.  Have to reach up and knock to get somebody's attention.

Woman comes to the window.  Large woman.  Wearing glasses.  Looks annoyed. She peers at me as I attempt to hand her the bag. 

"I ordered a steak and egg biscuit," I said, bag extended.

Her expression does not change and she makes no move to take the bag.  She just stands there with her arms folded. 

"So, what I'd like to do is exchange this for a steak and egg biscuit," I say, hoping to spur some response. 

Without changing expression, she replies.  "What we HAVE is bacon." 

I sat there dumbfounded, still holding the bag out the window. 

She continued to stare at me as if her explanation cleared everything up.  I slowly brought the bag back in and just drove away feeling foolish.   
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: AuburnChopper 3.0 on April 23, 2008, 06:34:20 PM
No bacon lovin' bastard.  You'll eat your bacon and STFU!  :silence:
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Tarheel on April 23, 2008, 06:37:38 PM
"What we have here is...failure to communicate."

 :rofl: :clap:

That is hilarious...sounds like something that would happen to Saniflush...except that he would've thrown that bag back through the drive up window.
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: DnATL on April 23, 2008, 06:56:07 PM
Sounds to me that actually what we have here is...
Gertrude Rotunda's beeyotch, fka Kaos :poke:
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 23, 2008, 11:12:13 PM
Have it your the fat lady in control's way. 
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Jumbo on April 24, 2008, 02:09:56 AM
Customer Service at its finest :rofl: That fatty ate all the steak :thumbsup:
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Saniflush on April 24, 2008, 07:26:47 AM
"What we have here is...failure to communicate."

 :rofl: :clap:

That is hilarious...sounds like something that would happen to Saniflush...except that he would've thrown that bag back through the drive up window.

I don't know.  If that heifer was as large as I am picturing me thinks I might have just eaten the bacon as well.
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Jumbo on April 24, 2008, 12:31:51 PM
Kaos tell us the name of the place.
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: BLS on April 24, 2008, 12:43:27 PM
Kaos tell us the name of the place.

I'm gonna guess a Hardees.
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Buzz Killington on April 24, 2008, 12:46:52 PM
I'm gonna guess a Hardees.
She must have been too busy making those scratch biscuits to thaw out the steak.
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Pell City Tiger on April 24, 2008, 01:49:35 PM
She must have been too busy making those scratch biscuits to thaw out the steak.
and there's no telling what or where she was scratching before she made the biscuits.

Good customer service in the fast food industry is a thing of the past. Even at the local Jacks, the last bastion of decency in Pell CIty, the help is getting very comfortable with the eye rolling and annoyed deep breathing.

My dream job is to be one of those corporate guys that go to their restaurants incognito to check the behavior of their employees. I'd fire every last one of these assholes. "HIT THE FUCKING CLOCK!"
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Jumbo on April 25, 2008, 03:02:37 AM
She must have been too busy making those scratch biscuits to thaw out the steak.
that made me chortle! :rofl:
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: BZ770 on April 27, 2008, 01:59:41 PM
I have limited expectations when I go to a fast food place, and that is not very often.  The people that work there tend to be not very bright, make $5 an hour and think we owe them something for eating there.  I try to always go in and order that eliminates some of the pain.
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Kaos on April 27, 2008, 06:15:52 PM
I'm gonna guess a Hardees.

Yeah, sorry.  It was a Hardees. 

Same Hardees where I once had the following exchange at the drive-through.


Me:  I'd like a chicken biscuit. 

Hardee's Employee:  Mmmmm, ok.  Uhhhh. What do you want on that?

Me: Well.  Chicken?

HE:  Okay, so you want a chicken biscuit with no chicken? 

Me: No, I want a plain biscuit with chicken on it.

HE:  Okay. Ummmm. Sir? I have to charge you the same price as a chicken biscuit.

Me: Ok. No problem.

HE: So do  you want the plain biscuit?  And the chicken on the side?

Me:  No, it's okay if you open the biscuit up and put the chicken in it.

HE: Errrr.  Drive around.
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: DnATL on April 27, 2008, 06:21:21 PM
Yeah, sorry.  It was a Hardees. 
Rise-n-shine, motherfuckers!!
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Jumbo on April 28, 2008, 02:26:16 AM
Yeah, sorry.  It was a Hardees. 

Same Hardees where I once had the following exchange at the drive-through.


Me:  I'd like a chicken biscuit. 

Hardee's Employee:  Mmmmm, ok.  Uhhhh. What do you want on that?

Me: Well.  Chicken?

HE:  Okay, so you want a chicken biscuit with no chicken? 

Me: No, I want a plain biscuit with chicken on it.

HE:  Okay. Ummmm. Sir? I have to charge you the same price as a chicken biscuit.

Me: Ok. No problem.

HE: So do  you want the plain biscuit?  And the chicken on the side?

Me:  No, it's okay if you open the biscuit up and put the chicken in it.

HE: Errrr.  Drive around.
So you want a biscuit with chicken inside are you sure?
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: AUChizad on April 28, 2008, 12:53:05 PM
This steak has grill marks....
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Jumbo on April 29, 2008, 12:31:19 AM
This steak has grill marks....
:clap:
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: AuburnChopper 3.0 on April 29, 2008, 08:44:19 PM
So are your Hot Pockets cold in the center?
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Jumbo on April 30, 2008, 03:33:56 AM
So are your Hot Pockets cold in the center?
there frozen but can be served Molten Lava Hott! :vn:
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: AuburnChopper 3.0 on April 30, 2008, 10:49:19 AM
there frozen but can be served Molten Lava Hott! :vn:

Hmm...that sounds good...

I'll have the Caesar salad and the Hot Pocket!  :tongue:
Title: Re: What we have here is...
Post by: Jumbo on April 30, 2008, 01:51:02 PM
Hmm...that sounds good...

I'll have the Caesar salad and the Hot Pocket!  :tongue:
I must have it cooked in the dirty microwave!