Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 10:09:10 AM

Title: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 10:09:10 AM
Early this morning in the copy room...

Douchebag #1 - "Did you hear about Alabama's spring practice?"

Me - "Not really.  I heard the qbs struggled a bit."

Dbag #1 - "No, I meant about the attendance.  92,000 plus."

Me - "You know how I feel about that.  Too little is bad.  Too many is bad.  I liked seeing my 30 thousand at Jordan Hare."

Dbag #2 - "Well, experts disagree.  If you listened to Finebaum's interview on the O D, he said it's obvious that Auburn's program is going down and Alabama's is going up."

Me - "What?"

Dbag #2 - "Auburn had a horrible showing.  It's because y'all know what's coming from the NCAA and y'all know how bad next season's going to be.  That's what Finebaum said.  And I think he's knows what he's talking about."

Me - "So, based on the A-Day numbers, we can determine what the NCAA is going to do?  I'm not following."

Dbag #1 - "It's more about who has the top program right now.  We had 92,000 people show up for a practice. That's how big we are right now."

Me - "Ok." 

Dbag #1 - "You know, I guess it speaks the truth.  Auburn can never catch up to Alabama because you can't even seat 92,000 people, right?"

Dbag #2 - "Yuck yuck yuck yuck."

Me - "You sound worse than the callers on Finebaum."

Dbag #2 - "I am a caller on Finebaum.  I get on about once a week." (His name is David.)

Me -  :blink:
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUChizad on April 18, 2011, 10:27:25 AM
http://www.cnbc.com/id/42643110

Quote
Alabama: 92,310

Nebraska: 66,784

Florida State: 53,818

Auburn: 53,209

Florida: 51,000

Georgia: 43,177

Arkansas: 42,000

Mississippi State: 36,357

Tennessee: 35,891

South Carolina: 29,451

Texas: 29,541

Mississippi: 28,000

Notre Dame: 27,863

Clemson: 27,000

Oklahoma: 25,598

LSU: 25,032

North Carolina: 15,500

Texas A&M: 16,500

Oklahoma State: 16,000

Colorado: 15,655

NC State: 13,139

Texas Tech: 12,400

Missouri: 10,000

Arizona: 4,500

Iowa State: 4,000
If we're going down based on that, there's a hell of a lot of programs going down with us. Bama is the pathetic outlier in this equation.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 10:31:25 AM
I guess I'm lucky.  I have yet to meet, in person, anybody that even remotely acts like a Finebaum caller or internet troll.  Yeah, the occasional taunting Rawl Tahd, but never one that's really studied the "How to be a douchebag bammer" manual. 

I have  to wonder, do they really believe the NCAA hammer is coming, or is that just something they continually vomit because it's taunting?
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Jumbo on April 18, 2011, 10:33:43 AM
I guess I'm lucky.  I have yet to meet, in person, anybody that even remotely acts like a Finebaum caller or internet troll.  Yeah, the occasional taunting Rawl Tahd, but never one that's really studied the "How to be a douchebag bammer" manual. 

I have  to wonder, do they really believe the NCAA hammer is coming, or is that just something they continually vomit because it's taunting?
He has no idea.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 10:34:49 AM
I guess I'm lucky.  I have yet to meet, in person, anybody that even remotely acts like a Finebaum caller or internet troll.  Yeah, the occasional taunting Rawl Tahd, but never one that's really studied the "How to be a douchebag bammer" manual. 

I have  to wonder, do they really believe the NCAA hammer is coming, or is that just something they continually vomit because it's taunting?

You are lucky. 

There are two teachers here that are the epitome of bammertards.  They know I was a Tiger Host and because of that, they think I'm just as much of a homer as they are.  They love to spar.  But I usually do the head nod and walk away.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 18, 2011, 10:45:44 AM
It's funny that I rarely encounter that type of bammer in my own home town but had am episode at the beach last summer, of all places.  Me and a buddy were doing a bike ride one morning and I had on an AU biking shirt. We stopped at a convenience store for a break and this guy, literally dressed in a Bama cap, Bama shirt, shorts AND socks, walks by and says, Ya'll almost got us but it just didn't happen, did it? (Referring to the previous Iron Bowl) I just said, "Yeah, it was a great game"

But ya'll couldn't do it, could ya?

Nope, close game.

Ya'll might have had more yards but we won it on the score board.

Yep

The guy stops as he's getting in his car and points toward the front of his crimson mustang to his Bama tag. 

All I could do is give him the thumbs up and say, "Stay classy Bama".  The guy I was with is a Florida grad and said he had no idea how crazy some of these idiots were til he moved to Alabama.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 10:58:02 AM
One of the things I frequently encounter are the douche bags that like to say "I go to 'The University'".  I hear it in traffic court all the time being that I work in a neighboring county.  Said as if it will impress me, or sway me, apparently assuming everybody must be a bammer.   When they say that, I usually respond with "which one, there's several in this state?"  They usually look at me like I have 2 heads.  Sometimes that's about the time they notice my orange and blue tie I reserve for traffic court days just for that reason.

If they try and tell me they go to Alabama, I just casually tell them: "You're lucky I can't hold that against you in this case". 

But, I've never encountered one that just ran the Finebaum company line for real. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Kaos on April 18, 2011, 11:29:03 AM
Whenever I hear "I go (or went) to the University" my general response is "how does that Phoenix thing work, anyway?  How much do you have to pay to get them to send you a diploma?" 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 11:30:44 AM
Whenever I hear "I go (or went) to the University" my general response is "how does that Phoenix thing work, anyway?  How much do you have to pay to get them to send you a diploma?"

Speaking of that -

I watched an interesting documentary on online universities.  Pretty big scam according to Frontline.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Kaos on April 18, 2011, 11:33:36 AM
Speaking of that -

I watched an interesting documentary on online universities.  Pretty big scam according to Frontline.

Didn't need Frontline to tell me that.  They are better known for flea medication. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Jumbo on April 18, 2011, 12:13:31 PM
Didn't need Frontline to tell me that.  They are better known for flea medication.
It's an evolution.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUChizad on April 18, 2011, 03:23:32 PM
Finebaum is so butthurt it's ridiculous. He is making this out to be a huge fucking deal.

That we're only the 4th (practically tied for 3rd) biggest A-Day game. Of course he's framing it that Alabama had about twice as many in the stands. Not that they had 50% more than the #2 spot, and #3 & #4 were right behind that, and that Auburn was #4 overall.  :facepalm:

Please someone call in and call him on this ridiculousness.

Would also like someone to point out Saban referring to the LaMo loss as September 11th in regards to that assclown calling Saban hitler on a message board. But I guess that's old news.

I wish I were unemployed, or didn't start my late shift at Taco Bell until later in the night, so I could call in and correct him on his bullshit.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUsweetheart on April 18, 2011, 03:49:23 PM
I've been fighting the urge to call for the last 30 minutes.

Arrrrgghhhhh
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 18, 2011, 03:57:57 PM
I've been fighting the urge to call for the last 30 minutes.

Arrrrgghhhhh

Luke, give in to the force. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Buzz Killington on April 18, 2011, 03:59:14 PM
I've been fighting the urge to call for the last 30 minutes.

Arrrrgghhhhh
Keep fighting it.  Calling in will do you no good whatsoever.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUChizad on April 18, 2011, 04:01:05 PM
Keep fighting it.  Calling in will do you no good whatsoever.
I get that mentality, but I can't help but think that an actually intelligent and articulate fan calling the station to completely call him out on his outright lies could do no harm.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 18, 2011, 04:04:46 PM
PAAAWWWWL, I thank it's heelareeyus how them barners can't injoy that nushnul champeenship.  That's cause they no it's gonna get took from em' iny day now.  Whatchu thank PAAAWWWL?
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 04:05:07 PM
These are the days I don't even listen in.

For one, 53k people is a fuckton of people to attend an A-Day game.  (Although, that number seems a bit inflated)

Two, Finebaum is obviously finding something to deflect the SBB article.  I'm not saying he's protecting Alabama.  I think he knows by not talking about it, it will get people riled up to call in. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUChizad on April 18, 2011, 04:09:02 PM
Two, Finebaum is obviously finding something to deflect the SBB article.  I'm not saying he's protecting Alabama.  I think he knows by not talking about it, it will get people riled up to call in.
Yeah, this too.

Still haven't heard anything about this.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 04:10:07 PM
Yeah, this too.

Still haven't heard anything about this.

And you won't.

And if someone sneaks it into the show, Finebaum will probably say, "I haven't seen it" and move on.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUChizad on April 18, 2011, 04:12:13 PM
Right now, he's mocking the Auburn fanbase in general (his words). "Is that all you guys say? 'We beatchall!' (in an overtly redneck accent). 'A'on't care bout nuthin. We beatchall! It's April now, I mean, come on, when does that expire?"
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 04:14:44 PM
Right now, he's mocking the Auburn fanbase in general (his words). "Is that all you guys say? 'We beatchall!' (in an overtly redneck accent). 'A'on't care bout nuthin. We beatchall! It's April now, I mean, come on, when does that expire?"

Turn it off.

Seriously. 

These are the times his ratings need to plummet.

But instead, they're sky rocketing.  Finebaum's no fool.  He doesn't just talk shit to talk shit.  And honestly, I don't think he cares two shits about Bama's troubles with BC.

He knows people are tuning in to hear about BC.  Instead, they're hearing a bashfest of Auburn football and Auburn fans.  This excites Bama fans and infuriates Auburn fans, and his ratings are through the roof.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: wesfau2 on April 18, 2011, 04:19:51 PM
Turn it off.

Seriously. 

These are the times his ratings need to plummet.

But instead, they're sky rocketing.  Finebaum's no fool.  He doesn't just talk shit to talk shit.  And honestly, I don't think he cares two shits about Bama's troubles with BC.

He knows people are tuning in to hear about BC.  Instead, they're hearing a bashfest of Auburn football and Auburn fans.  This excites Bama fans and infuriates Auburn fans, and his ratings are through the roof.

Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but radio doesn't track ratings like television.

It's all about the advertising dollar.  Not listening doesn't change anything for Finebaum.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 18, 2011, 04:26:01 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but radio doesn't track ratings like television.

It's all about the advertising dollar.  Not listening doesn't change anything for Finebaum.

His name is Sandy? Damn, that's ghey
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 04:41:28 PM
Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but radio doesn't track ratings like television.

It's all about the advertising dollar.  Not listening doesn't change anything for Finebaum.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arbitron
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Buzz Killington on April 18, 2011, 04:50:23 PM
I get that mentality, but I can't help but think that an actually intelligent and articulate fan calling the station to completely call him out on his outright lies could do no harm.
Pat Smith will not let you in if you sound remotely intelligent.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: wesfau2 on April 18, 2011, 04:55:19 PM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arbitron

You can learn something every day.

Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 04:56:43 PM
You can learn something every day.

Did that actually help? 

I did a half-assed search on google and linked the first site that came up. 

Take THAT, Sandy. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 18, 2011, 04:58:10 PM
You can learn something every day.

He wiki'd teh arbitrons
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: wesfau2 on April 18, 2011, 05:18:14 PM
Did that actually help? 

I did a half-assed search on google and linked the first site that came up. 

Take THAT, Sandy.

There is a ratings system (modeled similarly to the Nielsen system: pay listeners to keep a diary of their listening habits).

In a localized industry like terrestrial radio (I realize that PAWL has gone satellite), I would think that advertising impact would swing more clout than Arbitron numbers.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUChizad on April 18, 2011, 05:59:38 PM
Still not a word on the Calloway situation. It's as if it never happened.

I'm amazed.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: wesfau2 on April 18, 2011, 06:04:36 PM
Still not a word on the Calloway situation. It's as if it never happened.

I'm amazed.


The posters on Scout seem to think that Lee is going to drop some big bombs  on a radio interview next Wednesday.

I hope he has more, because this will just blow over without something pretty damning.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 06:22:06 PM
The big news today is these fucking idiots talking about how bad they say Cam did in that Gruden interview. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AWK on April 18, 2011, 06:26:38 PM
The big news today is these fucking idiots talking about how bad they say Cam did in that Gruden interview.
Fuck them.  I can't listen to the shit they are spewing.  When Carolina wins a Championship because they pick him, all the same fucking idiots will be singing a different tune.  These are the same Mongoloid retards that thought Ryan Leaf > Peyton Manning.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Token on April 18, 2011, 08:14:26 PM
The big news today is these fucking idiots talking about how bad they say Cam did in that Gruden interview.

Honestly though, what the fuck was he talking about? 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 08:21:59 PM
Honestly though, what the fuck was he talking about?

Who?  Cam, or the F'bombs?
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 08:24:26 PM
Honestly though, what the fuck was he talking about?

Cam was talking about how fucking awesome he was.

The "36" comment?  He blew Gruden's mind.  Gruden just didn't want to admit it. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Token on April 18, 2011, 08:25:52 PM
Who?  Cam, or the F'bombs?

I know what Finebaum was saying.  He says the same shit over and over and over, just changes the names and teams. 

I'm talking about Cam.  Bias aside, that was a stupid fucking interview.  I not sure he knew what he was saying.  He was just opening his mouth and random thoughts were coming out.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 08:36:18 PM
I know what Finebaum was saying.  He says the same shit over and over and over, just changes the names and teams. 

I'm talking about Cam.  Bias aside, that was a stupid fucking interview.  I not sure he knew what he was saying.  He was just opening his mouth and random thoughts were coming out.

Cam's not polished at speaking.  To his credit he doesn't come off all ghetto, like say Ryan Mallet, but he tries to sound smarter than he is. 

The part they're all harping on was his answer and delay in answer the question about an audible or play call at Auburn.  He asked him that, then proceeded to rip off some long ass playcall that had about every formation, motion and tag imaginable.  Cam, I suspect, was a little taken aback, and maybe a bit embarassed he didn't understand what Gruden had said.  No way he could have though. Like Gruden noted, it's like learning a new language under each OC.  And, they didn't give him any freedom to call plays at Auburn, it was all called for him on a board, or by hand signal.  And Malzahn does it all VERY simply.  One word play calls.  It's all done by association.  For instance, they may call all running plays by NFL team nicknames, like Steeler, or Cowboy.  Then when they want to run a play action, they call the play Pittsburgh or Dallas, indicating the play fake action, and then the pass route combo with numbers on the board.   Cam noted that he just looks at the board, and he said "there's 36 up there, and 36 is a play".  It's far simpler than most NFL systems, and that's because they don't have the practice time to install voluminous playbooks.   It's not Cam's fault he didn't play in a pro style system that allowed him the freedom of checks at the line, or use a wordy play calling system.   
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Token on April 18, 2011, 08:48:17 PM
The part they're all harping on was his answer and delay in answer the question about an audible or play call at Auburn.  He asked him that, then proceeded to rip off some long ass playcall that had about every formation, motion and tag imaginable.  Cam, I suspect, was a little taken aback, and maybe a bit embarassed he didn't understand what Gruden had said.  No way he could have though. Like Gruden noted, it's like learning a new language under each OC.  And, they didn't give him any freedom to call plays at Auburn, it was all called for him on a board, or by hand signal.  And Malzahn does it all VERY simply.  One word play calls.  It's all done by association.  For instance, they may call all running plays by NFL team nicknames, like Steeler, or Cowboy.  Then when they want to run a play action, they call the play Pittsburgh or Dallas, indicating the play fake action, and then the pass route combo with numbers on the board.   Cam noted that he just looks at the board, and he said "there's 36 up there, and 36 is a play".  It's far simpler than most NFL systems, and that's because they don't have the practice time to install voluminous playbooks.   It's not Cam's fault he didn't play in a pro style system that allowed him the freedom of checks at the line, or use a wordy play calling system.

Wow.  That big of a deal over a play call?  That's why I don't waste my time on douche radio shows.  I was talking about the whole gun analogy.  God did him a tremendous favor making him big, strong, and fast. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 08:57:42 PM
It's also not Cam's fault he didn't play for a mad scientist like Gruden.  Who the hell could keep up with that? 

Nobody.  Trent Dilfer?  Ha. 
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 09:00:33 PM
Wow.  That big of a deal over a play call?  That's why I don't waste my time on douche radio shows.  I was talking about the whole gun analogy.  God did him a tremendous favor making him big, strong, and fast.

All he did with the gun analogy (which he was savvy enough to parse with some PC bullshit about that being a violent symbol he was just using as a symbol), is to say that the bad things people say about him, he uses those as bullets in his gun to load and use as motivation. 

Again, he's neither a Rhodes Scholar, or a polished speaker, but he's not nearly as stupid as the bammers would like you to believe after that.  And, according to USA Today, quoting Guden:

Quote
"I think Cam Newton's the best player in the country,'' Gruden told the Tampa Tribune after working Newton out on Friday. "I agree with the Heisman Trophy people that gave him the award. He's got everything I'm looking for."
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/thehuddle/post/2011/04/jon-gruden-cam-newton-is-the-best-player-in-the-country-1/1

He said that after the camp, but before it aired.   Now, this is just me, but between Gruden, SbB, Shane, Brando, and Finebaum, I'm going to defer to Gruden on this.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 09:31:24 PM
It's also not Cam's fault he didn't play for a mad scientist like Gruden.  Who the hell could keep up with that? 

Nobody.  Trent Dilfer?  Ha.

Well, it was wordy, but not completely out there either. 

"Flip Right, Double X, Jet, 36 Counter, Naked Waggle at 7, X Corner" was the play call Gruden gave him. 

Right is the base formation, with Flip moving someone (probably the Z WR) over to the opposite side from normal.

Double X is probably adjustment to the formation.

Jet is the motion. (flat motion across the formation probably)

36 Counter is the run play to fake.

Naked Waggle at 7 is the play and direction, base WR routes the blocking scheme. (Waggle would be some kind of Flood Route scheme to the 7 side, or the left with the QB booting out to that side...Malzahn runs the shit out of Waggle, but doesn't call it that...it's the play action pass off the Sweep play with 2 pulling Guards)

X Corner is a tag to tell the X WR to run a Corner Route, which is different from his normal route.

So, in the huddle the OL doesn't give a shit about anything but blocking scheme and snap count, the rest is meaningless to them.  The Backs and Rec. care about Formation and Play call, and one of them cares about the motion he's running too, X knows he's running a Corner Route.  and the QB knows the base passing concept.  There wasn't THAT much to it, but if you've never heard it, it's a different language.

Just an educated guess, after listening to it over and over, as opposed to Cam having it fired right at him...it's off Jet motion, they'll fake a Counter play to the right (6 hole), then boot left (7 hole), and have 3 WRs at in the left third of the field.  And I could be off on some parts of it.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: wesfau2 on April 18, 2011, 09:34:56 PM
Well, it was wordy, but not completely out there either. 

"Flip Right, Double X, Jet, 36 Counter, Naked Waggle at 7, X Corner" was the play call Gruden gave him. 

Right is the base formation, with Flip moving someone (probably the Z WR) over to the opposite side from normal.

Double X is probably adjustment to the formation.

Jet is the motion. (flat motion across the formation probably)

36 Counter is the run play to fake.

Naked Waggle at 7 is the play and direction, base WR routes the blocking scheme. (Waggle would be some kind of Flood Route scheme to the 7 side, or the left with the QB booting out to that side...Malzahn runs the shit out of Waggle, but doesn't call it that...it's the play action pass off the Sweep play with 2 pulling Guards)

X Corner is a tag to tell the X WR to run a Corner Route, which is different from his normal route.

So, in the huddle the OL doesn't give a shit about anything but blocking scheme and snap count, the rest is meaningless to them.  The Backs and Rec. care about Formation and Play call, and one of them cares about the motion he's running too, X knows he's running a Corner Route.  and the QB knows the base passing concept.  There wasn't THAT much to it, but if you've never heard it, it's a different language.

Just an educated guess, after listening to it over and over, as opposed to Cam having it fired right at him...it's off Jet motion, they'll fake a Counter play to the right (6 hole), then boot left (7 hole), and have 3 WRs at in the left third of the field.  And I could be off on some parts of it.

You coach peewee football..and drive a Dodge Stratus...dontcha?
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 09:49:46 PM
You coach peewee football..and drive a Dodge Stratus...dontcha?

Dat's me!
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Townhallsavoy on April 18, 2011, 10:07:59 PM
Well, it was wordy, but not completely out there either. 

"Flip Right, Double X, Jet, 36 Counter, Naked Waggle at 7, X Corner" was the play call Gruden gave him. 

Right is the base formation, with Flip moving someone (probably the Z WR) over to the opposite side from normal.

Double X is probably adjustment to the formation.

Jet is the motion. (flat motion across the formation probably)

36 Counter is the run play to fake.

Naked Waggle at 7 is the play and direction, base WR routes the blocking scheme. (Waggle would be some kind of Flood Route scheme to the 7 side, or the left with the QB booting out to that side...Malzahn runs the shit out of Waggle, but doesn't call it that...it's the play action pass off the Sweep play with 2 pulling Guards)

X Corner is a tag to tell the X WR to run a Corner Route, which is different from his normal route.

So, in the huddle the OL doesn't give a shit about anything but blocking scheme and snap count, the rest is meaningless to them.  The Backs and Rec. care about Formation and Play call, and one of them cares about the motion he's running too, X knows he's running a Corner Route.  and the QB knows the base passing concept.  There wasn't THAT much to it, but if you've never heard it, it's a different language.

Just an educated guess, after listening to it over and over, as opposed to Cam having it fired right at him...it's off Jet motion, they'll fake a Counter play to the right (6 hole), then boot left (7 hole), and have 3 WRs at in the left third of the field.  And I could be off on some parts of it.

wut
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 18, 2011, 10:12:59 PM
wut

It was probably just Gruden fuckin' with Cam.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: War Eagle!!! on April 19, 2011, 12:30:26 AM
You coach peewee football..and drive a Dodge Stratus...dontcha?

fucking

*snicker*
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Jumbo on April 19, 2011, 04:16:13 AM
You coach peewee football..and drive a Dodge Stratus...dontcha?
Oh Snap.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: The Prowler on April 19, 2011, 06:25:26 AM
Well, it was wordy, but not completely out there either. 

"Flip Right, Double X, Jet, 36 Counter, Naked Waggle at 7, X Corner" was the play call Gruden gave him. 

Right is the base formation, with Flip moving someone (probably the Z WR) over to the opposite side from normal.

Double X is probably adjustment to the formation.

Jet is the motion. (flat motion across the formation probably)

36 Counter is the run play to fake.

Naked Waggle at 7 is the play and direction, base WR routes the blocking scheme. (Waggle would be some kind of Flood Route scheme to the 7 side, or the left with the QB booting out to that side...Malzahn runs the shit out of Waggle, but doesn't call it that...it's the play action pass off the Sweep play with 2 pulling Guards)

X Corner is a tag to tell the X WR to run a Corner Route, which is different from his normal route.

So, in the huddle the OL doesn't give a shit about anything but blocking scheme and snap count, the rest is meaningless to them.  The Backs and Rec. care about Formation and Play call, and one of them cares about the motion he's running too, X knows he's running a Corner Route.  and the QB knows the base passing concept.  There wasn't THAT much to it, but if you've never heard it, it's a different language.

Just an educated guess, after listening to it over and over, as opposed to Cam having it fired right at him...it's off Jet motion, they'll fake a Counter play to the right (6 hole), then boot left (7 hole), and have 3 WRs at in the left third of the field.  And I could be off on some parts of it.
We just call that play the Oopty-Oop.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: The Prowler on April 19, 2011, 07:23:28 AM
My favorite play would be; I Right, 31 Red, Snot Bubble.

I Formation, TE to the right

31 Red, Tailback runs through the 1 Gap (Odd to the left of the Center, Even to the right) on 2 (Colors are on the second hike).

Snot Bubble, I pull from my RG position to knock the teetotal shit outta the unsuspecting DT, that thought he had a free shot at the QB or TB.

I knocked out a lot players by ear-holing 'em, it was a thing of fucking beauty.

If the D was going off the snap count, our QB would mix it up. (Silent, the Center snapped when he was ready.  Touch, the Center snaps as soon as he feels pressure from the QB's hands. On One, first hike. Any color imaginable, second hike. Any car imaginable, third hike. Any place imaginable, fourth hike.)  Towards the end of the fourth qtr, the RT and I would get in our stances and tell the DLine what the snap count was (or so, they thought).  Then I, or the RT, would make a grunting noise like we were firing off, to get them to jump.  If that didn't work, I'd spit on their hands.

I was a Big Nasty.  I'd grow my fingernails out for the sole purpose to claw the hellfire outta anyone while run blocking or pass blocking.  I'd punch the DL in the rib cages, with the palm of my hands, as they put their hands up to block the pass.  If they ever left their feet to knock a pass down, I'd punch straight up, towards the bottom of the shoulder pads. It's hard to do anything when your shoulder pads are being jammed into your throat or into your mouth.  If the DL were head slapping, I'd put my sharpened chin strap buckles on, that usually put a stop to that after the next head slap.  Bottom of the pile was when I had some fun. Pulling leg hair, punching, clawing, pinching, fish hooking.  I wasn't great or anything, but I made up for it by being mean and nasty.

So, JR are y'all looking for an assistant?
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 19, 2011, 09:26:58 AM
We just said:

You're the bottle cap right here.  You go across the middle and you.....you're the cigarette butt. You head straight for the corner of the azalea bushes.  You stay in and block and make sure he counts all his Mississippi's.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: GH2001 on April 19, 2011, 09:34:41 AM
We just call that play the Oopty-Oop.

ooopty oop!! ooppty fucking ooop!!

(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8Rrv7FkVcMc/TXbNd-BirSI/AAAAAAAAAJA/0XP1d5omOHw/s1600/kilmer.jpg)
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: JR4AU on April 19, 2011, 09:55:25 AM
We just call that play the Oopty-Oop.

Fact is Gruden was probably just makin' shit up to fuck with him.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AWK on April 19, 2011, 01:17:35 PM
I don't want your life.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: The Prowler on April 19, 2011, 01:42:47 PM
TEN!!!!!
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AUTiger1 on April 19, 2011, 01:43:05 PM
I don't want your life.

Listen. You give 'em a Percocet, two Vicodin and a couple of beers, and the panties drop. It's very nice.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Jumbo on April 19, 2011, 02:02:10 PM
I don't want your life.
That's great about Brown, but what about Gilroy?
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AU_Tiger_2000 on April 19, 2011, 02:19:07 PM
My favorite play would be; I Right, 31 Red, Snot Bubble.

I Formation, TE to the right

31 Red, Tailback runs through the 1 Gap (Odd to the left of the Center, Even to the right) on 2 (Colors are on the second hike).

Snot Bubble, I pull from my RG position to knock the teetotal poop outta the unsuspecting DT, that thought he had a free shot at the QB or TB.

I knocked out a lot players by ear-holing 'em, it was a thing of effing beauty.

If the D was going off the snap count, our QB would mix it up. (Silent, the Center snapped when he was ready.  Touch, the Center snaps as soon as he feels pressure from the QB's hands. On One, first hike. Any color imaginable, second hike. Any car imaginable, third hike. Any place imaginable, fourth hike.)  Towards the end of the fourth qtr, the RT and I would get in our stances and tell the DLine what the snap count was (or so, they thought).  Then I, or the RT, would make a grunting noise like we were firing off, to get them to jump.  If that didn't work, I'd spit on their hands.

I was a Big Nasty.  I'd grow my fingernails out for the sole purpose to claw the hellfire outta anyone while run blocking or pass blocking.  I'd punch the DL in the rib cages, with the palm of my hands, as they put their hands up to block the pass.  If they ever left their feet to knock a pass down, I'd punch straight up, towards the bottom of the shoulder pads. It's hard to do anything when your shoulder pads are being jammed into your throat or into your mouth.  If the DL were head slapping, I'd put my sharpened chin strap buckles on, that usually put a stop to that after the next head slap.  Bottom of the pile was when I had some fun. Pulling leg hair, punching, clawing, pinching, fish hooking.  I wasn't great or anything, but I made up for it by being mean and nasty.

So, JR are y'all looking for an assistant?

In my high school it was

White 34 Veer which meant two tight, split backs veer read on the right defensive end.  After we gained three yards with that play we would huddle up and the QB would call

White Left 25 Veer which meant two tight, split backs veer read on the left defensive end.  After we gained three yards with that play we would huddle up and the QB would call

White 34 Veer (this is what is known as "mixing it up" to you future coaches out there).

Oh, and in every huddle the 20 year old high school junior who played tackle beside me would look at me with panic in his eyes and say, "What do I do on this play?"
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Buzz Killington on April 19, 2011, 03:30:06 PM
We just said:

You're the bottle cap right here.  You go across the middle and you.....you're the cigarette butt. You head straight for the corner of the azalea bushes.  You stay in and block and make sure he counts all his Mississippi's.
...and Jimmy, you go long.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: dallaswareagle on April 19, 2011, 03:31:42 PM
...and Jimmy, you go long.

Our Jimmy sucked-we always made him do the button hook in the flat.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: Snaggletiger on April 19, 2011, 03:38:10 PM
Our Jimmy sucked-we always made him do the button hook in the flat.

Like playing right field in little league
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: AU_Tiger_2000 on April 19, 2011, 04:55:27 PM
Like playing right field in little league

Or you could be like me, catcher in T-ball.
Title: Re: Such Douchebags
Post by: dallaswareagle on April 19, 2011, 05:12:33 PM
Like playing right field in little league

They made me play "foul ball getter boy" and I didn't have to bat.