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Pat Dye Field => War Damn Eagle => Topic started by: Tiger Wench on January 26, 2011, 11:01:08 AM
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Holy crap. It's not like he yelled, FUCK YOU NICK SABAN. He quoted from one of our oldest cheers, and limited himself to pep rallies. Cussin' like a sailor? Do WHAT? He said DAMN, you asshole. And to compare him to Nick Saban? Chiz would have to drop an f-bomb every five minutes for the next ten months to catch up there. This was a desperation story. Seriously, dude. Just... damn.
Even EDSBS agrees:
We mean this with all due respect, but Kevin Fucking Scarbinsky's piece here is the shittiest shit piece of goddamn filler we've ever fucking seen this side of OMG SLIDESHOW. Damn is not a profanity. "Facefuckingest" is a profanity, and a great one, now that we've typed it.
Scarbinsky: Chizik's four-letter fun was wrong
Published: Wednesday, January 26, 2011, 5:56 AM
By Kevin Scarbinsky, Birmingham News
Cover your ears, kids; it's a coach with a microphone.
Gene Chizik looks and sounds more like Nick Saban every day. First, the Auburn coach wins a national championship, and then he starts cussing like a sailor.
Or at least a hard-fightin' soldier.
Chizik punctuated not one but two public speeches Saturday with what's become almost a polite profanity in the world of Rex Ryan and John Calipari.
Call it a little four-letter fun.
It's still wrong.
This is how Chizik closed his remarks in Jordan-Hare Stadium at the national championship celebration:
"I will say it again, and it's not kinda, sorta, almost. You are the best fans in the United States of America. (Pause for applause.) And you have helped us and been a huge part of being the best football team in the United States of America.
"War Damn Eagle."
This is how Chizik moved the crowd later in the Auburn Arena at the state championship trophy presentation:
"What a great day for Auburn football. All you guys who came out and were part of that 80, 90, 100,000 - I don't know what it was - I can just say a big War Damn Eagle."
In both places, as you might expect, Chizik's use of that emphatic adjective in the middle of Auburn's battle cry brought down the house.
The phrasing wasn't unique, since it's part of the school's Bodda Getta cheer, but it was demonstrative, more so than the most guttural "War Eagle." It was even a bit defiant, as if the coach were giving it back to every critic of him, his quarterback and his school.
But was it really necessary?
Chizik wasn't on the sideline in the heat of battle. He wasn't trying to motivate a player or excoriate an official. He was trying to lather up a festive crowd that had already been massaged by one speaker after another from cool gel to hot foam.
Doesn't it just make public discourse more coarse when a man of Chizik's stature drops a four-letter word with a microphone in his hand? Haven't our community standards when it comes to language already dropped lower than Auburn's basketball RPI?
At least twice during the Alabama-Auburn basketball game Saturday, Auburn fans launched into a lusty version of the reverse Rammer Jammer cheer. You know:
"Rammer Jammer, yellow hammer, go to (well, you know where) Alabama."
Hey, anything you can do, they can do cruder.
I know, I know. This is major college football and basketball, not a garden party. Chizik's a football coach, not a preacher, even though he is a man of faith. And his brief detour into the shallow end of the gutter was far from the most offensive language used by a major college coach in this state in the last week.
Calipari, the leader of the Big Blue Nation, turned blue himself during Kentucky's basketball loss at Alabama. After UK freshman Terrence Jones missed a desperate last shot for the win, Calipari called him "a selfish so-and-so" to his face. And no, he didn't say "so-and-so."
ESPN's microphones didn't pick up the Kentucky coach's triple-score four-letter word, but ESPN's cameras did. You didn't have to major in lip-reading to see what Calipari said.
It was nice of him to apologize later for crossing the line, but is a Twitter apology a real apology? In any case, Jones shrugged off the extreme insult, and so did his aunt.
"Terrence can take it," Ava Mashia told the Lexington Herald-Leader.
No doubt. But does everyone else, from your grandmother to my elementary school children, have to, too?
I've got a better idea. Take all those four-letter words and shove 'em. Off-camera. Off-mike. Off-air. Where they belong. You want to vent? Fine. Do it on your time, not in my face, and I'll return the favor.
There's long been an attitude in sports that says, if you're not cheating, you're not trying. Welcome to version 2.0, which is just as wrong.
If you're not cussing, you don't care.
Got something to say? Drop a comment below, or write Kevin at kscarbinsky@bhamnews.com.
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Scarbinsky wants to be Paul Finebaum. It gets more and more obvious with every article.
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Check back with us when the Chin lays into his backup QB with a profanity laced tirade followed by a smack on the ass.
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This is how Chizik closed his remarks in Jordan-Hare Stadium at the national championship celebration:
"I will say it again, and it's not kinda, sorta, almost. You are the best fans in the United States of America. (Pause for applause.) And you have helped us and been a huge part of being the best football team in the United States of America.
"War Damn Eagle."
So it is bad for Chizik to say it where people might hear it, but it is OK for Scarbinsky to print it where people might read it.
At least twice during the Alabama-Auburn basketball game Saturday, Auburn fans launched into a lusty version of the reverse Rammer Jammer cheer. You know:
"Rammer Jammer, yellow hammer, go to (well, you know where) Alabama."
Hey, anything you can do, they can do cruder.
So telling a team to go to hell is more offensive than exhorting your team to give them hell? It's so confusing, I'm glad that Scarbinsky is here to clear things up for me.
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My letter to him
Seriously....seriously? Comparing him to Saban who uses the f-bomb as if he were saying tea cozy. Your better than this article Scarbinsky, I know football season is over and sporting news is slow in the state of Alabama, but really the use of damn is that appalling that you write an article about it. Is this where we've come as a culture? Why don't you leave the hack journalism to Finebaum.
Sigh
War Damn Eagle,
Brian
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"for publication"'response coming.
The concept burst into my head fully formed. I'm banging it out now.
Ready in an hour or so.
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So it is bad for Chizik to say it where people might hear it, but it is OK for Scarbinsky to print it where people might read it.
So telling a team to go to hell is more offensive than exhorting your team to give them hell? It's so confusing, I'm glad that Scarbinsky is here to clear things up for me.
No shit. I was thinking the exact same thing.
How exactly is "Go to hell" cruder than "Give 'em hell"?
Never heard a priest use the phrase "Give 'em hell" in church.
And this could maybe possibly be a kind of sort of filler for a slow day if "War Damn Eagle" was not our fucking battle cry. If it wasn't in Boddagetta, Track 'Em Tigers, etc that 90,000 fans yell in unison.
Just plain dumb.
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No shit. I was thinking the exact same thing.
How exactly is "Go to hell" cruder than "Give 'em hell"?
Never heard a priest use the phrase "Give 'em hell" in church.
And this could maybe possibly be a kind of sort of filler for a slow day if "War Damn Eagle" was not our fucking battle cry. If it wasn't in Boddagetta, Track 'Em Tigers, etc that 90,000 fans yell in unison.
Just plain dumb.
Leave your religion out of this. There should be clear separation of church and forum. Oh, BTDub...I got two of the Boddagetta books this morning. Bad azz.
Wait..can we say azz in here or is that classless?
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Sent.
I understand the need to fill these slow days between football seasons with anything possible to rile up some readership...but really?
Comparing Chizik to Saban for his "potty mouth" for saying "War Damn Eagle" on the microphone? Really?
"War Damn Eagle" is equal to or worse than Saban saying "Shit storm" at a halftime interview or "This team hasn't proved shit" at a press conference? Really? Let alone the expletives that would make a sailor blush right before he pops a backup QB on the backside? That's the same as "War Damn Eagle"? Really?
It's profane for Chizik to say "War Damn Eagle" once where 70,000 people may hear it in person, but it's ok for you to print the word twice where plenty more can read it? Please explain that to me.
This could maybe possibly be justified as a kind-of-sort-of filler for an incredibly slow day if "War Damn Eagle" was not practically Auburn's official battle cry. If it wasn't included in Boddagetta, Track 'Em Tigers, among other cheers that 90,000 fans yell in unison on game day, as organized by the Mic Man. What exactly did you think "War Cam Eagle" was a play on?
"Anything you can do, I can do cruder"? Really?
How exactly is "Go to hell" cruder than "Give 'em hell"? Please explain that to me.
Funny, I've never heard a priest use the phrase "Give 'em hell" in church.
I usually enjoy your pieces, even the ones that may criticize Auburn for any legitimate reason.
This is garbage, and you know this as well as I do. I am disappointed.
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Heavy is the head that wears the crown.
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Yup, as soon as it happened....I said, "I'm glad he said it...this is the first time he's publicly said the word Damn, but I figured the media would hang on him saying Damn and try to make it some big story." It's just Goddamn ridiculous.
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After this article, Scarbinsky will focus on attacking other popular phrases, insisting they be changed to the phrases below.
"Frankly my dear I don't give a darn"
"Darn the torpedoes, full speed ahead"
"Darn Yankees"
"Best Darn Sports Show Period."
"Queen of the Darned"
"Take your dirty paws off me, you darn dirty ape!"
"Darn, I Wish I Was Your Lover"
"Lies, Darn Lies, and Statistics"
"Much Too Young To Feel This Darn Old"
"The Rent is Too Darn High Party"
Any others?
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I say War Damn Eagle to my kids. And when I sing the fight song, I say Give em hell give em hell...instead of hit em high, hit em low...
Fuck this.
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I say War Mutha Fuckin' Eagle to my kids....I'm not trying to brag or anything. I also say "Kick 'em in the Fuckin' Ass Big Blue, Hey", then I shoot the Bird to finish it off. My youngest one hasn't been able to get that middle finger coordination down yet. It's funny after we say "Kick 'em in the fuckin' ass Big Blue, hey" it takes about 10 seconds after it's over, for him to shoot the bird.
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After this article, Scarbinsky will focus on attacking other popular phrases, insisting they be changed to the phrases below.
"Frankly my dear I don't give a darn"
"Darn the torpedoes, full speed ahead"
"Darn Yankees"
"Best Darn Sports Show Period."
"Queen of the Darned"
"Take your dirty paws off me, you darn dirty ape!"
"Darn, I Wish I Was Your Lover"
"Lies, Darn Lies, and Statistics"
"Much Too Young To Feel This Darn Old"
"The Rent is Too Darn High Party"
Any others?
You should have put that in your letter.
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I say War Mutha Fuckin' Eagle to my kids....I'm not trying to brag or anything. I also say "Kick 'em in the Fuckin' Ass Big Blue, Hey", then I shoot the Bird to finish it off. My youngest one hasn't been able to get that middle finger coordination down yet. It's funny after we say "Kick 'em in the fuckin' ass Big Blue, hey" it takes about 10 seconds after it's over, for him to shoot the bird.
Fuck. Do I always have to be the one to point out the obvious? I know you assholes are thinking it.
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Fuck. Do I always have to be the one to point out the obvious? I know you assholes are thinking it.
Sometimes I can't tell if...
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Fuck. Do I always have to be the one to point out the obvious? I know you assholes are thinking it.
Don't give in to him, Token. Unless you are bored or really need a reminder of your place in the origin of the species.
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Ok. This is what I have so far. I hate the ending. Give me something new.
Damn Scarbinsky, is this the best you can do?
Kevin Scarbinsky, sports columnist for the Birmingham News, had a problem. His editor had chewed him out on Monday and he had a column due on Tuesday. His original column idea had been poop canned because of the butt chewing his editor had delivered and now he was facing a deadline. The cursor on his computer screen blinked mockingly at him as he brainstormed for ideas.
As he racked his brain, the words of his editor's harsh attack reverberated in his head:
Damn it Scarbinsky. You have got to get your head out of your ass. For three solid weeks now you've been painting unicorn and roses portraits of Auburn and the Tigers' head coach Gene Chizik. I don't know if you're aware of this, but many of our biggest advertisers are Alabama supporters. They are sick and tired of reading Auburn this, Auburn that. Need I remind you that Alabama won the 2009 national championship? That Alabama had the 2009 Heisman Trophy winner? That celebration was supposed to last longer than a year. It was supposed to be the coronation of a returning emperor, not just a one year fluke. It really aggravates some of our best advertisers that this upstart one-year wonder down on the Plains is horning in on all their glory.
You’ve gushed so much Auburn love lately that we have advertisers questioning your loyalty to the Tide. Our newspaper is being criticized as being an Auburn shill. Dammit, Scarbo, we simply cannot tolerate that. I suggest you get your damn pendulum swinging back in the opposite direction or there will be some axes swinging around here. You get the message, Scaubie?
Okay, okay this should be easy Scarbinsky thought. He considered going down the well-traveled Cam Newton path but realized that at this point there was nothing to gain by piling on a horse that had been dead really for months. Nothing new to say there that hadn’t already been fabricated elsewhere.
No, he needed something on the face of the program. He needed a way to attack Chizik.
Was it Chizik who was captured on camera at least once a game using the mother of all blasphemies and who routinely prefaced another obscenity with a strategically placed mother? No, that was Alabama coach Nick Saban.
Dammit! Scarbinsky thought.
Was it Chizik who compared the loss of a ball game to the 9-11 terrorist attacks and Pearl Harbor? No, that was Saban again. Dammit!
Was it Chizik who had been captured on camera throwing sideline tantrums and trashing his headset? No, again it was Saban. Damn!
Was it Chizik who had peppered press conferences and radio shows with vulgarities describing the result of bodily processes? Sh……ut your mouth, dammit. Saban again!
Was it Chizik who had assailed a backup quarterback in an eyes-bulging, mouth-foaming frenzy and then spanked the young man? Of course not, dammit! Saban yet again.
Scarbinsky stared at the mocking, blinking cursor. He could hear the clock ticking toward his deadline.
*tick, blink, tick, blink, tick, blink*
In frustration Scarbinsky leaped from his chair and started kicking his garbage can across his cubicle.
“Damn! Damn! Damn!†Scarbinsky punctuated each kick.
“What am I supposed to do with this? Chizk’s dad was a war hero. His leadership this season was nothing short of amazing. He quieted his critics by working hard and proving himself. He didn’t ask for respect, he went out and earned it. He navigated a storm of controversy with confidence and character. He won every major coaching award out there. Against all odds he kept his staff together. He prays with his team. He puts God and family above all else. The guy is a freaking rock. He’s Mount Rushmore. What am I supposed to do with that? “
The garbage can took another round of abuse.
“Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! Da…hmmm.â€
Scarbinsky froze in mid kick. Leaving the battered garbage can behind he raced back to his computer and queued up the video of Auburn’s championship celebration. He scrolled forward to Chizik’s remarks and hit play.
Toward the end, there it was. The chink in the armor. Did the Auburn coach really just say the word “damn?†He did, he did! Gene Chizik said War Damn Eagle.
Uhhhh-ohhhhh, Scarbinsky smiled to himself. I got you now, potty mouth.
As if possessed his fingers flew over the keyboard. He’d blast Chizik for his gross profanity and lump him in with other obscenity spewing coaches. Rex Ryan! John Calipari! Saban! Oh, wait. Better back that one out of there.
Chizik’s trashy talk gave Scarbinsky the moral high ground to pontificate and decry the declining standards of society.
Who cares that Auburn has used the phrase War Damn Eagle for years, that it’s a part of one of the school’s most hallowed cheers and has been for decades? This was clearly a case of a coach unleashing his profane dragons on an unsuspecting public. Hell, Chizik was just a half step away from becoming Scarface. Or Lil’ Wayne. Where was that Orbit gum chick when you needed her?
Chizik’s boorishness opened the door to condemning the reverse taunting engineered by Auburn fans when they threw Alabama’s classless rammer jammer cheer back in the Tide fan’s faces. Who cares that Bama fans bray that cheer even after a three-point win over Kentucky or a two-point, two blocked kick over Tennessee? Just beat the hell out of you indeed! This wasn’t about Alabama’s affrontery, no, this was about those vulgar, crude Auburn fans and their cussing coach.
At least that’s the way Scarbinsky was sure the Alabama backers and advertisers in his newspaper’s sphere would read it.
Damn Chizik! Damn Auburn! Damn this accursed slide into crudity! Damn those Tiger barbarians at the gate!
Scarbinsky finished off his piece with what he felt sure was a winning, clever quip. With a relieved sigh, he submitted his column.
He’d done it. He’d beaten the deadline and found a way to throw a little mud on Chizik. The advertisers would be happy. The wacky bama fringe fanbase could now point out the speck in another’s eye while ignoring the 490-pound telephone pole jutting out of their own.
As he returned to his desk, Scarbinsky considered the piece he’d just signed his name to. The depths to which he’d stooped turned his stomach. He imagined the hooting laughter that would greet his latest missive. He wondered how the lofty journalistic career he’d long envisioned had devolved into writing a ridiculously weak smear piece on a stand-up guy for using a word that had probably been uttered by Barney the Dinosaur at least once.
The cursor winked at him, waiting for his next great piece. A tear came to Scarbinsky’s eye as he considered what he could possibly do in the wake of this last piece of fluff to salvage his reputation.
Teeth gritted, he began to type:
Washing your hands. As every school child knows, cleanliness is the first step to healthiness. Why then did Troy State head coach Larry Blakeney exit the restroom at Ryans in Montgomery without so much as a swipe at his mitts?
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I say War Mutha phukin' Eagle to my kids....I'm not trying to brag or anything. I also say "Kick 'em in the phukin' Ass Big Blue, Hey", then I shoot the Bird to finish it off. My youngest one hasn't been able to get that middle finger coordination down yet. It's funny after we say "Kick 'em in the phukin' ass Big Blue, hey" it takes about 10 seconds after it's over, for him to shoot the bird.
You need to stop.
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You should have put that in your letter.
I know. Delayed inspiration, she is a motherfucker.
Anyone who hasn't sent one yet, feel free to borrow.
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Kaos, I like it as is...
Fifth paragraph, comma after "easy".
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:clap:
Fuck dude that is brilliant...leave it alone. Hell it makes me want to post it on the front page. Send that shit to him ASAP.
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:clap:
phuk dude that is brilliant...leave it alone. Hell it makes me want to post it on the front page. Send that poop to him ASAP.
Post away. And send him the link.
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Welcome back, Kevin.
And I'm not talking about your hiatus from the X.
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Welcome back, Kevin.
And I'm not talking about your hiatus from the X.
I've told you a thousand times. I never went anywhere I just have a different perspective. Well, except for the hiatus. I went somewhere then. A lot of somewheres.
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Kaos, I stopped reading after you wrote the word D***.
Also, I don't have kids.
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Kaos, I stopped reading after you wrote the word D***.
Also, I don't have kids.
I KNEW it.
Dance monkeys
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I've told you a thousand times. I never went anywhere I just have a different perspective. Well, except for the hiatus. I went somewhere then. A lot of somewheres.
You dirty whore.
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Kaos - Brilliant!
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I say War Mutha Fuckin' Eagle to my kids....I'm not trying to brag or anything. I also say "Kick 'em in the Fuckin' Ass Big Blue, Hey", then I shoot the Bird to finish it off. My youngest one hasn't been able to get that middle finger coordination down yet. It's funny after we say "Kick 'em in the fuckin' ass Big Blue, hey" it takes about 10 seconds after it's over, for him to shoot the bird.
I lol'ed heartily.
I also lol'ed at this, but regretfully never gave it its due props.
I wanted the Damn Championship....I wanted to kill the Ducks, I wanted to dance around covered in Duck's blood...Fuck 'em ALL and feed 'em fish heads. I wish we would've beat 'em by a Hundred and Fitty...WOOOOO!!!!!
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:clap:
Fuck dude that is brilliant...leave it alone. Hell it makes me want to post it on the front page. Send that shit to him ASAP.
I got to agree. That shit was great!
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Also, I don't have kids.
Proof that there is a God.
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I lol'ed heartily.
I also lol'ed at this, but regretfully never gave it its due props.
I try, lol.
Proof that there is a God.
Where...in the clouds?
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I try, lol.
Where...in the clouds?
No, that's Bear Bryant, who died 28 years ago today, per TWER.
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Proof that there is a God.
I'm leaning toward DHR.
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No, that's Bear Bryant, who died 28 years ago today, per TWER.
I looked up a girls skirt when his death was announced. She was standing on a ladder and crying. Figured she wouldn't mind.
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I looked up a girls skirt when his death was announced. She was standing on a ladder and crying. Figured she wouldn't mind.
I don't feel so bad about my post in the recruiting forum now.
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Outstanding, Kaos. That's the shit we've been missing around here. Your original Malzhan article is something I laugh about to this day. The sideways snap is something that needs to happen.
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Bodda getta, Bodda getta, Bodda getta, Ba, Rah Rah Rah, Sis Boom Ba, Weagle, Weagle, War darn Eagle, Cock sucking mother fucking pussy ass mommy part holes. Eat shit , Fuck you, Big Blue, HEY!
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Bodda getta, Bodda getta, Bodda getta, Ba, Rah Rah Rah, Shish Boom Ba, Weagle, Weagle, War darn Eagle, Cock sucking mother fucking pussy ass mommy part holes. Eat shit , Fuck you, Big Blue, HEY!
Hey, hey, hey. That is totally uncalled for. It's "Sis" Boom Ba. Do a little research before you post stuff like that.
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Hey, hey, hey. That is totally uncalled for. It's "Sis" Boom Ba. Do a little research before you post stuff like that.
Whatever are you speaking of?
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Bodda getta, Bodda getta, Bodda getta, Ba, Rah Rah Rah, Sis Boom Ba, Weagle, Weagle, War darn Eagle, Cock sucking mother fucking pussy ass mommy part holes. Eat shit , Fuck you, Big Blue, HEY!
I'm just trying to make a point, Frank. You don't have to celebrate it.
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Great read Kaos.
Nicely done.
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I put it on bookface for all my peeps. Maybe one of you can twat it.
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No, that's Bear Bryant, who died 28 years ago today, per TWER.
Of course, this is the topic du jour on Finebaum.
I wish I were born three months later so I can honestly say we never shared the earth at the same time.
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Of course, this is the topic du jour on Finebaum.
I wish I were born three months later so I can honestly say we never shared the earth at the same time.
You still didn't.
He was pickled at least three months before the clinical diagnosis of death.
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No need to change the ending...that was great as is.
By the way, have we welcomed you back yet?
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You still didn't.
He was pickled at least three months before the clinical diagnosis of death.
For realz?
Did he not finish out the 1982 season? I'm pretty sure he was on the other sideline for Bo Over The Top, which I was alive for.
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For realz?
Did he not finish out the 1982 season? I'm pretty sure he was on the other sideline for Bo Over The Top, which I was alive for.
No not for realz.
It was supposed to be a jab at his Dickle affinity.
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No not for realz.
It was supposed to be a jab at his Dickle affinity.
I knew it!!! I always wondered about the guy. Wait...you said Dickle.
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No not for realz.
It was supposed to be a jab at his Dickle affinity.
Oooh...I get it now.
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No not for realz.
It was supposed to be a jab at his Dickle affinity.
I was laughing my ass off at the "pickled" comment.
I didn't get the dickle reference. But pickling Bear Bryant sounds like something Alabama fans would do to preserve their beloved god.
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I was laughing my ass off at the "pickled" comment.
I didn't get the dickle reference. But pickling Bear Bryant sounds like something Alabama fans would do to preserve their beloved god.
Ten bucks says his head is actually in a tank next to Ted Williams.
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Ten bucks says his head is actually in a tank next to Ted Williams.
There is not enough liquid nitrogen in the world to overcome the antifreeze he put into his body over the years.
Think they tried to freeze his head with one of those stupid looking hats on it?
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There is not enough liquid nitrogen in the world to overcome the antifreeze he put into his body over the years.
Think they tried to freeze his head with one of those stupid looking hats on it?
You mean the baseball caps that don't exist?