How this happened...
"Coach Carroll! They're on to us!"
"What? On to who?"
"USC! They know how we were so good!"
"We?"
"Yeah! They know about the roids. What do I do, coach?"
"It's Mr. Carroll to you, and why are you people becoming such a cancer to my life?"
"A cancer?"
"Yeah, you know, a tumor that's attempting to ruin your life? From Reggie to Leinhart to hiring Lane Kiffin to now steroid use."
"A tumor is causing issues at USC?"
"My god, you people are fucking stupid. Yes. Tumors."
"Ok! Thanks coach!"
"So, Brian Cushing, what's this press conference about?"
"Uh, I think I know what caused the drug test issue. Tumors."
"The fuck?"