I clicked on this thread a few times today thinking that something marginally clever would occur to me. It didn't. But, you are a bammer, and a resident here, and it's your birthday...so I am just going to try to cover my bases in one fell swoop.
On your birthday, RWS....may you not be bothered by the fact that your daddy (maybe?) Merle and your Uncle Earl both have full carnal knowledge of your momma and your sister....may you have a nice view of the famous Bear Bryant back tattoo while its owner shits in the yard across the road....may your cousin/wife get you the nicest gift Wal-Mart has to offer...and may she put out her cigarette BEFORE she lets you tap it tonight.
As for your knee...you do know our personal PI lawyer is back?
Happy Birthday Bammer.