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Animal movie remakes

Kaos

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Animal movie remakes
« on: February 02, 2010, 03:16:38 PM »
They are remaking what has to be one of the cheesiest, worst animal-themed horror movies of all time: Piranah. 

This time in 3D.




Question:  Will Elisabeth Shue's breasts be exposed in 3D?
Answer: If yes, please buy me a ticket. 

Question: What do Eli Roth (Inglorious Basterds), Dina Meyer (CSI: Miami frequenter), Ving Rhames (Marcellus Wallace), Christopher Lloyd (Back to the Future), Richard Dreyfuss (Close Encounters), Jerry O'Connell (nothing worth a shit since fatass in Stand By Me), and Elisabeth Shue (my favorite babysitter) have in common?
Answer:Their careers sleep with the fishes.   
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Vandy Vol

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #1 on: February 02, 2010, 04:46:09 PM »
This isn't a remake, but it's along the same lines of being an extraordinarily cheesy animal-themed horror movie:


And in case the trailer isn't classic enough, the following is an actual line delivered during the intro of the movie (the actual intro is not posted here due to nudity, but the movie is on Netflix instant queue if anyone is truly interested):

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Token

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2010, 11:22:01 PM »
This isn't a remake, but it's along the same lines of being an extraordinarily cheesy animal-themed horror movie:


And in case the trailer isn't classic enough, the following is an actual line delivered during the intro of the movie (the actual intro is not posted here due to nudity, but the movie is on Netflix instant queue if anyone is truly interested):


I saw that on playstation network a few months ago.  I almost rented it, but I was out of ganja and wouldn't have enjoyed it as much.
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BZ770

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #3 on: February 04, 2010, 12:16:13 AM »
For some reason I thought this thread was going to be about Benji, or the Hairy Muffs of the 1970's.
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Kaos

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2010, 07:18:17 AM »
For some reason I thought this thread was going to be about Benji, or the Hairy Muffs of the 1970's.

Benji was remade.  It failed.  Tim Allen as DA Dog or whatever that was called was also a fail.  

But remaking Piranha is on par with remaking that Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Owen Wilson and John Voight masterpiece Anaconda.  



As an aside, we bumped into John Voight when in NY recently.  Just standing on a street corner in Times Square with the rest of the schlumps.  
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Saniflush

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2010, 07:23:12 AM »
Maybe he was trying to get a hooker and some blow......Wait they don't hang out there anymore.
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"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Kaos

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #6 on: February 04, 2010, 07:45:34 AM »
Maybe he was trying to get a hooker and some blow......Wait they don't hang out there anymore.

He seemed annoyed to be recognized.  We just tried to take his picture surreptitiously. Got a nice shot of the back of his head.  Some other white pimp with baggy pants and a brim cocked sideways jumped out in front of him in the street and started shouting "YO! John Voight, I love your shit, man..."   He hurried away with an annoyed grimace on his face.
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AUChizad

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2010, 09:36:21 AM »
All this will pale in comparison to Sharktapus.

http://www.thrfeed.com/2010/02/coming-to-syfy-sharktopus-pics-.html

Quote
Coming to Syfy: 'Sharktopus!' (pics)

Syfy's original movies director Karen O'Hara Tweeted last week the network has greenlit a long-rumored "Sharktopus" movie -- and directed by B-movie king Roger Corman.

Wrote O'Hara: "Just got off the phone with the legendary Roger Corman who's doing a new movie for us this year. Yes, it's the long-rumored SHARKTOPUS! ... Spent half am hour discussing what a sharktopus should look like, how many mouths it should have and how it should kill. That's my job!"



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Vandy Vol

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2010, 12:20:21 PM »
All this will pale in comparison to Sharktapus.

http://www.thrfeed.com/2010/02/coming-to-syfy-sharktopus-pics-.html



So...it's a shark-octopus, and it has vagina dentata?
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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2010, 12:30:56 PM »
Scariest Movie...EVAR!

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Vandy Vol

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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2010, 12:37:25 PM »
Scariest Movie...EVAR!



This idea led to a South African woman creating an anti-rape device with similar effects:

http://www.antirape.co.za/index.htm
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Re: Animal movie remakes
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2010, 01:07:18 PM »
This idea led to a South African woman creating an anti-rape device with similar effects:

http://www.antirape.co.za/index.htm
YEOUCH!!!

On a side note, I don't know if I would want to rape a woman who can have that thing in her vag, that thing is huge.
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