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Things That Go Bump - Edition #2 - Zombie's Halloween 2 Is A Tangled Mess

Jumbo

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I liked the new Bloody Valentine 3d enough to buy the old one this week on Blu-Ray for $9.99.
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AUTiger1

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I haven't seen any of these remakes.

I'm like AUTiger1. It pisses me off that Hollywood is ruining these classics.

Seen all the original Halloweens, but not the new ones.

I am one that does not like remakes much at all.  To me it's Hollywood saying "we have run out of ideas to entertain you, so here is a remake" and yes it kinda pisses me off.  Now saying that..........

Chizad, I would recommend the new Halloween without a doubt.  Will give opinions in the other thread. 
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Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

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Kaos

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I liked the new Bloody Valentine 3d enough to buy the old one this week on Blu-Ray for $9.99.

Agree here. 

As for the rest FUCK OFF. 

I hate these remakes of movies that were close to perfect the first time around.  The original Halloween didn't need SHIT.  It was damn near perfect.  The original Friday the 13th, Friday II and Friday III were all classics.  Why remake them?  What point does it serve? 

They shit on The Omen already -- the original was one of the five scariest movies I've ever seen.  That damn little kid spooked the total bejesus out of me.

What's next a Zombie remake of the Exorcist?  This time Reagan can drag a giant sybian crucifix in the bedroom and have a gushing pea soup orgasm while riding the thing.  Please.  It's just unnecessary. 

Here's the thing.  If Zombie wants to make a shitty, fucked up, worthless horror movie (or even a good one) then do it.  But don't glom on to something that was successful, take basically the names only and then tell a completely different story.  That's just stupid and fucked up.  I hate it.   The reason it's called Halloween is because they knew there was name recognition there and it really didn't matter how much they fucked it up, people would still go on openining night.  It's all about money. 

So fuck that.  Fuck the Freddy Krueger remake, nobody can play Freddy but Englund. It's disgusting.
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If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Mr. Sensible

Fuck the Freddy Krueger remake, nobody can play Freddy but Englund. It's disgusting.

Jackie Earle Haley is a creepy motherfucker. Ever see Little Children? In addition to his creepiness, you get Kate Winslet naked - a lot - which is never a bad thing.
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AUChizad

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Agree here. 

As for the rest FUCK OFF. 

I hate these remakes of movies that were close to perfect the first time around.  The original Halloween didn't need SHIT.  It was damn near perfect.  The original Friday the 13th, Friday II and Friday III were all classics.  Why remake them?  What point does it serve? 

They shit on The Omen already -- the original was one of the five scariest movies I've ever seen.  That damn little kid spooked the total bejesus out of me.

What's next a Zombie remake of the Exorcist?  This time Reagan can drag a giant sybian crucifix in the bedroom and have a gushing pea soup orgasm while riding the thing.  Please.  It's just unnecessary. 

Here's the thing.  If Zombie wants to make a shitty, fucked up, worthless horror movie (or even a good one) then do it.  But don't glom on to something that was successful, take basically the names only and then tell a completely different story.  That's just stupid and fucked up.  I hate it.   The reason it's called Halloween is because they knew there was name recognition there and it really didn't matter how much they fucked it up, people would still go on openining night.  It's all about money. 

So fuck that.  Fuck the Freddy Krueger remake, nobody can play Freddy but Englund. It's disgusting.
See, I trust Zombie a thousand times over to pay a decent tribute to a classic horror flick before Michael fucking Bay.
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Mr. Sensible

See, I trust Zombie a thousand times over to pay a decent tribute to a classic horror flick before Michael Bay.

I agree on the Michael Bay part. The first Zombie take (2007) was very good. The sequel was just about $$$ and the only reason he was on it was to try and keep it inside the world he created, but even he admits it wasn't the film he wanted to make.

I'd say this about originality, sometimes that gets out of hand. Check out Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers sometime. There's a lot of originality in there but it's so far out there and so poorly executed, it makes the film (yes, even the Producer's Cut) virtually unwatchable.
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Jumbo

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I liked the new Bloody Valentine 3d enough to buy the old one this week on Blu-Ray for $9.99.
I loved the original My Bloody Vanentine, great kills and beautiful remastered on Blu-Ray with Dts-Hd sound. I enjoyed how much time they spent developing the characters. I liked how they stayed away from the classic slasher films checklist, A monster is killing everyone and the virgin of the town is the only person that can stop him.
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You'll never shine if you don't glow.

Mr. Sensible

I loved the original My Bloody Vanentine, great kills and beautiful remastered on Blu-Ray with Dts-Hd sound. I enjoyed how much time they spent developing the characters. I liked how they stayed away from the classic slasher films checklist, A monster is killing everyone and the virgin of the town is the only person that can stop him.

The remake wasn't horrible. Did have that naked woman on screen for like 5 minutes solid and in 3D. However, the heart of the story was missing - the first one had all that.

How about Night of the Creeps?
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AUChizad

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I just finished watching both Zombie versions.

I really liked the first one. An excellent tribute to the original. It's the same story, but expands on his motivation in a realistic way to make it more believable.

But I liked how some scenes were word-for-word identical. I liked how the cheerleader chick still overuses the word "totally". I liked that her "See anything you like" scene was one-upped to full frontal. Speaking of nudity, I liked that I got to see the other chick's tits and hear her say "You wanna fuck me? Yeah? I wanna hear you say it." That was hot. Speaking of her, I didn't notice that it was the same girl from Halloween 4 & 5. I guess that's why I thought she was hot to begin with. I couldn't put my finger on it, but she seemed familiar. Like someone I grew up with or something. I guess that's because I watched those original versions when I was about her age and probably thought she was hot in them.

Anyway, this second one blows. It flies in the face of everything that was good about the first one. Where the first one stuck to the script, but fleshed it out, this one holds nothing sacred and the story doesn't even resemble any aspect of the original series. At the same time, it also doesn't "keep it real" with all the white horse, ghost, and "the curse continues through his sister" bullshit. And what was with Myers speaking and not wearing his mask? They explained why he had both of those characteristics pretty well in the first one, why backtrack? And how the fuck did he survive a gunshot to the face to even appear in the sequel? To allow that, again, goes against what was cool about this one. Take out all the magical bullshit and make it believable.

Apparently even the kid that played young Michael in the original even looked at this and said "No thanks, this is stupid." They could have gotten someone at least that resembled the first kid a little more. A kid that was at least the same basic body type.

I was prepared to like it, but it was pretty flat out bad. Shame he had to ruin his "vision" that was the first movie.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2010, 11:09:32 PM by AUChizad »
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Mr. Sensible

Apparently even the kid that played young Michael in the original even looked at this and said "No thanks, this is stupid." They could have gotten someone at least that resembled the first kid a little more. A kid that was at least the same basic body type.

Actually, he had a growth spurt was no longer believable as a 10 year old. I wouldn't have blamed him for bailing on this pile of shit though. It's bad.
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