Tigers X - Number one Source to Talk Auburn Tigers Sports

Chiropractic care

Kaos

  • *
  • 29579
  • It's GO time
    • No, YOU Move!
Chiropractic care
« on: December 23, 2009, 10:47:03 AM »
Somebody help me here...

My wife has fallen under the spell of a (very attractive) extremely dynamic woman who claims to be able to cure almost all physical and mental ills through the use of chiropractic adjustments. 

She did x-rays, claimed to find sublaxations all over the place and has recommended a 12-month program that's going to cost around $400 a month. 

I went to the "family" visit where this super saleswoman claimed miracles and used xrays to demonstrate her remarkable success.  I will grant her the ability to mesmerize.  She had me willing to run through walls for her after about 20 minutes.  But as her hour-long presentation wore on,  my natural cynicism regained control.  I started focusing on her boots and how I'd like to crack HER fucking spine with my rod as she continued to speak. 

After the meeting, my wife wants to get the whole family checked and have her start adjusting us all right away.  Our spines are degenerating as we sit here and will never get better without the help of our savior -- who claimed to be able to affect diabetes, cancer, stomach problems and a variety of other ailments just by keeping our backs from fucking up our nerves.   I tell her it's bullshit and now I'M the bad guy. 

Chiro succubus last night played the love card.  If I love my family I won't deny them this life-saving, health-improving treatment.  It will be played back at me since I have canceld the family visits. 

I've researched the shit today and everything I find indicates that this woman is a fucking psycho and is not only a fraud, but is borderline dangerous.  She recmmended calling her the day a baby is born so she can start adjusting sublaxations and improve the infant's life. 

Do any of you have any legitimate information I can use to battle this hypnotic charlatan and get my wife to see the reality?  My wife is a smart woman, she's been in pharmacy for 15 years and is now finishing a nursing degree.   can;t understand how she fell under this spell so quickly.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Token

  • ****
  • 4868
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2009, 11:02:32 AM »
The solution is simple.

Attempt to have a sexual relationship with the psycho.  Your wife will hate her, and forbid you to see her anymore.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Token

  • ****
  • 4868
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2009, 11:03:45 AM »
And I'm not bullshitting. 

This has been tested and is 100% effective.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Godfather

  • Chapter
  • ****
  • 21263
  • He knows!
    • Tigers X
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2009, 11:06:30 AM »
Quack-o-prac...don't use em don't believe in them, I think the fuck your shit up so they can "fix" it.

Question though..a lot of them take insurance now, and insurance pays for it.  If so I say let your wife have at it.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Gus is gone, hooray!
                       -Auburn Fans


Auburn Forum

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22899
  • Bofa
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2009, 11:17:38 AM »
And I'm not bullshitting. 

This has been tested and is 100% effective.
60% of the time
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

Token

  • ****
  • 4868
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2009, 11:29:43 AM »
60% of the time

If it doesn't work, you need to find out what your wife is doing with her "me" time.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

Jumbo

  • Assistant Pledge Master
  • ***
  • 10862
  • I live on the corner of Epic & Bananas.
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2009, 12:24:10 PM »
I went to an Orthopeidic Surgeon and had a Mri, the doctor prescribed me physical therapy. Stay away from the voodoo.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
You'll never shine if you don't glow.

GarMan

  • ***
  • 2727
  • Alpha Male, Cigar Connoisseur and Smart Ass
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2009, 01:03:35 PM »
The solution is simple.

Attempt to have a sexual relationship with the psycho.  Your wife will hate her, and forbid you to see her anymore.

I like where you're going with this...  Aside from the fact that he should have better control over his woman in the first place, he should just tell tell her that the "glorified massage therapist" offered him a happy ending at the conclusion of his first session. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.  - Winston Churchill

Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.  - Mark Twain

Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!  - Stewie Griffin

"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others."  - Ayn Rand

Snaggletiger

  • *
  • 44623
  • My Fighting Pearls
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2009, 01:14:58 PM »
I deal with a lot of chiropractors on a daily basis.  Fortunately, a good majority of tham have moved away from the "I can cure cancer by cracking your back" claims.  I use one occasionally when my back problems flare up and the one I go to uses more massage therapy tecniques than snapping my spine in two. Many of them are doing the same things as the PT departments are as well. 

There's a few around here that still have that cure all mentality and I've called BS on one of them after I talked to a former employee who admitted it was a sham.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
My doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.  I asked him why, and he said, "because I'm trying to examine you."

AUTiger1

  • ****
  • 9872
  • Eat a Peach
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2009, 01:26:08 PM »
The solution is simple.

Attempt to have a sexual relationship with the psycho.  Your wife will hate her, and forbid you to see her anymore.


Invite the hot doctor lady over for dinner and then a threesome with her and the wife.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

AUTiger1

  • ****
  • 9872
  • Eat a Peach
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2009, 01:38:16 PM »
Do any of you have any legitimate information I can use to battle this hypnotic charlatan and get my wife to see the reality?  My wife is a smart woman, she's been in pharmacy for 15 years and is now finishing a nursing degree.   can;t understand how she fell under this spell so quickly.

My mom fell for this shit.  She had back and neck problems for a car wreck a long time ago.  She visited the Chiroprac scam artist and of course he popped her back and it lifted some pressure immediately.  She felt better than she had in a long time, so she proclaimed him and chiropractics the savior of all the earth.   Thing about it was this, insurance didn't cover at the time and after a few weeks her back would be flaring up again.  So what does she do?  Goes back for another treatment and more money.  No matter how much you tired to convince her that since the pain wasn't going away permanently that it wasn't curing it.  It was only masking the problem.  Finally, she got down in her back pretty bad, dad took her to the orthopedic and he started her on physical training to see if it could help before resorting to surgery.  PT seems to be working out pretty good, she will lapse on her exercises and her back will hurt, but it's not every 3 to 4 weeks like it used to be. 

Not legit medical info, just a first hand observation.  If you have to keep going back to see the hot doctor lady then what ever ails you is not being cured.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Courage is only fear holding on a minute longer.--George S. Patton

There are gonna be days when you lay your guts on the line and you come away empty handed, there ain't a damn thing you can do about it but go back out there and lay em on the line again...and again, and again! -- Coach Pat Dye

It isn't that liberals are ignorant. It's just they know so much that isn't so. --Ronald Reagan

Buzz Killington

  • *
  • 22899
  • Bofa
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2009, 01:44:25 PM »
If you have to keep going back to see the hot doctor lady then what ever ails you is not being cured.
unless it's teh blue balls
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot.

War Eagle!!!

  • ****
  • 8292
  • The Original Backwards Hat
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2009, 01:48:17 PM »
I personally think they are bullshit. You have to question a profession where 75% of the "doctors" try and discount any other type of medicine other than their back adjustments. I don't buy into the whole 1 cure for all problems theory.

The back and spinal chords are not something to be fucked around with. I would make sure I got a couple of opinions from both real doctors and also chiropractors before you did anything. If it was me, there is no way in hell I would let one touch me unless I was convinced that nothing else would work...
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions

ibelonginprison

  • ***
  • 469
  • Bama... As cool as AIDS
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2009, 01:52:37 PM »
Cure all that mess?  Likely not.

Make you feel better for a while?  Probably.



I have had xrays on my back and neck a lot.  The Doc can crank and pop things back into place, but it takes a while for your muscles to recognize the new position of your spine, and for a time it will continue to lapse back to where it was.

I think a good solution is a mix of PT, massage therapy, and lining things up right.

But no, cure cancer?  Kill her... kill her with fire.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Bama fans make me want to punch babies...

Saniflush

  • Pledge Master
  • ****
  • 21656
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2009, 02:00:52 PM »
Upon the next meeting ask her if the "laying on of her hands can shrink an asshole cause you feel as if you are being buttfucked?"
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

jadennis

  • ***
  • 1445
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2009, 03:09:51 PM »
I went through this exact same thing with my wife.  She has problems and we went to a guy that played the same sell.  They tried to put us on a 6 or 12 month routine too, and for about the same money you're talking about.

We skipped it, went to a different chiro who also used a lot of massage therapy.  Adjusting her occassionally and lots of therapy have gotten here in good shape.  It was a big drain up front (claimed over $4,000 on her expenses in 2008), but after a few months, it slowed way down to a massage once a week, then every other week, then "as needed" with an adjustment thrown in every once in while.

To me, they don't cure all, but if you have actual back problems, there aren't a lot of good options.  A regular doctor is typically limited to doing surgery or giving you drugs.  What else can they do?  For me, I recently had some really bad back problems that caused my arm and shoulder lots of nerve pain (all the way down to my hand).  At times, the muscle spasms and nerve pain was some of the worst I've had.  Went to the chiro, got his advice.  Then I went to the doctor.  The doctor said he doesn't like to just throw drugs at a problem, but prescribed me three things.  He gave me an anti-inflammatory, muscle relaxers, and hydrocodone.  I also laid on a heating pad at night after taking the meds.  10 days later, no pain, no issues at all.

So for me, the drugs worked.  For the wife, the adjustments and physical therapy worked.  It should be noted, in reference to your wife's desire to see the hot wacko, while we were spending $4,000 for adjustments and treatments, my wife had normal illnesses that anyone would get anytime.  She had the flu once, regular colds, sinus infections, upset stomach (over the course of months...she's not sickly).  So if the chiro was the "fix all", why was my wife experiencing normal life illnesses while being treated? 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"To me Auburn is not in Auburn, Alabama. Auburn is the people who care about Auburn, the people who love Auburn. Wherever they are, that’s Auburn, Auburn is in your heart. You play for it."

- Reggie Torbor

CCTAU

  • *
  • 13074
  • War Eagle!
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #16 on: December 24, 2009, 01:48:21 AM »
If you have any serious back issues, stay away from the chiro part of it. The massage part can help. If you have issues that drugs cannot fix or surgery is not recommended, give it a shot. I had a car accident and went to the chiro once a week for about two months. Everything felt great and helped great. It felt good to get adjusted. But it was an even bigger pain to just go to the appointments. I got better and moved on. Probably would have happened if I had done nothing, but the massage and heat part of it probably helped the healing. I have a BIL that will get really bad headaches every now and then. He drives form Prattville to Birmingham to his chiro. She pops him and his headache goes away. Is it voodoo? Who knows, but if it works for you, beats the shit out of cocaine.

As far as a "plan" goes, BULLSHIT. Go a few time and see if it helps. Then only go as needed. If you are in serious pain, bigger issues exist than an chiro can fix.
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
Five statements of WISDOM
1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity.
2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.
5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friends, is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Kaos

  • *
  • 29579
  • It's GO time
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #17 on: December 24, 2009, 07:26:45 AM »
Guess I should have clarified it a little.

Nobody's got back issues.  When my daughter got back from college she was stressed out from exams, was stiff and had a headache for two days.  The chiro was where they ended up.  She felt better (which I'm convinced was just as much a result of two days of lots of sleep and being away) and the chiro got the miracle worker tag.

As for Token's "got to have better control" comment, he's absolutely right.  All I will say about that is that if you ever fuck up and then try to fix things, make sure you don't surrender "hand? when you do.  Once surrendered it is nearly impossible to regain.  They always have the unspoken trump card and can play it with just a glance.  For ten years they can play it. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.

Saniflush

  • Pledge Master
  • ****
  • 21656
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #18 on: December 24, 2009, 07:38:12 AM »
As for Token's "got to have better control" comment, he's absolutely right.  All I will say about that is that if you ever fuck up and then try to fix things, make sure you don't surrender "hand? when you do.  Once surrendered it is nearly impossible to regain.  They always have the unspoken trump card and can play it with just a glance.  For ten years they can play it. 

In regards to this I find it best to make them play it early then you know it's out of their hand. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
"Hey my friends are the ones that wanted to eat at that shitty hole in the wall that only served bread and wine.  What kind of brick and mud business model is that.  Stick to the cart if that's all you're going to serve.  Then that dude came in with like 12 other people, and some of them weren't even wearing shoes, and the restaurant sat them right across from us. It was gross, and they were all stinky and dirty.  Then dude starts talking about eating his body and drinking his blood...I almost lost it.  That's the last supper I'll ever have there, and I hope he dies a horrible death."

Kaos

  • *
  • 29579
  • It's GO time
    • No, YOU Move!
Re: Chiropractic care
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2009, 07:54:22 AM »
In regards to this I find it best to make them play it early then you know it's out of their hand. 

I wish.  It's like a permanent trump.  No matter what the discussion it can always come back to "Oh yeah? Well I'm not the one who....." 

What's done can't be undone. 
friendly
0
funny
0
like
0
dislike
0
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
No reactions
If you want free cheese, look in a mousetrap.