Oh, My, God...

AWK · « **on:** December 16, 2009, 03:58:19 PM »

Words can not even begin to explain this shit...I hope he gets disbarred.

Quote

Alabama Fans Hope To Shut Down State For One Week In January

You're probably aware that the University of Alabama has canceled any classes that might possibly interfere with students' drinkingenjoyment of the BCS Championship, but now some lawyers have asked a judge to shut down the state's legal system as well.

A email is being passed around the offices of people who should really be working on other things at legal firms all over the country. It contains a motion for continuance filed for a civil case in the Circuit Court of Jefferson County, Alabama. (County seat? Birmingham. Of course.) The case is scheduled to go to trial on January 4, 2010 ... three days before the local football squad plays Texas.

It really is a masterful piece of legalese, which takes three pages to say that this case is important and all, but .... FOOT. BALL. Some highlights:

Comes now Jon B. Terry, as one of the attorneys for the Defendants and would move to
continue the current trial setting of January 4, 2010 and as grounds therefore would aver as
follows:

[...]

4. Most of the attorneys representing all of the named Defendants have tickets and reservations to be in Pasadena on the 6th day of January, 2010, which date would conflict with the trial date as travel times and schedules for the game overlap the trial as currently set.

5. In fact, the Honorable Jim Lloyd has children that live in the area and is scheduled to be with them in California to celebrate the game and the Tide s success.

6. Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs. Unfortunately, that response remains short-sighted as they may one day find themselves in the same position that the Defendant attorneys are in and, unfortunately, the BSC Title Game is no longer scheduled on January 1st, but has been moved to January 7th.

[...]

considering the magnitude of this event and its impact on this State, and the fact such an event only comes infrequently during a person's lifetime and is an achievement of such a magnitude that all involved in this litigation should want everyone to fully participate in this achievement.

9. ROLL TIDE!! ( although my secretary is for the other great team of this State, she feels that I need to attend this championship game!); and may the Longhorns be defeated.

Wow. That's first time the "ROLL TIDE" defense has been used since "Marbury vs. Bo Jackson." Naturally, this is not the first time that the pursuit of justice has gotten in the way of a good football game, but we've yet to hear if this stunning argument has won over the judge.

The plaintiffs—obvious Auburn fans!—were not amused:

This case is a very serious case involving the death of the plaintiff's mother. The case was filed in 2005, and is ready to be tried. ... Simply stated, some things are more important than football.

Naturally, every state that holds an SEC school has identified the lawyer who wrote that last line and had him disbarred.

Best. Motion to Continue. Ever. [Above The Law]

The full motion and the plaintiff's response are below:

http://deadspin.com/5427966/alabama-fans-hope-to-shut-down-state-for-one-week-in-january/gallery/

This is for real...

AUsweetheart · « **Reply #1 on:** December 16, 2009, 04:13:10 PM »

Wow. Just wow.

Kaos · « **Reply #2 on:** December 16, 2009, 04:52:13 PM »

Quote from: AUsweetheart on December 16, 2009, 04:13:10 PM

Wow. Just wow.

And people wonder why we're laughingstocks in this state.

Buzz Killington · « **Reply #3 on:** December 16, 2009, 04:59:02 PM »

What do you expect? They have to see the recruits they helped to buy win them #13.

jadennis · « **Reply #4 on:** December 16, 2009, 05:14:42 PM »

What is this BSC Title Game they speak of?

And isn't it a contradiction to call someone "the HONORABLE Jim Lloyd" and then say "scheduled to be with them in California to celebrate the game and the Tide s success" is a reason to postpone a trial? Where is the honor this man is showing?

What a complete joke.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #5 on:** December 16, 2009, 05:22:02 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 16, 2009, 04:52:13 PM

And people wonder why we're laughingstocks in this state.

By "we" I fucking hope you meant "bama idiots."

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #6 on:** December 16, 2009, 05:49:11 PM »

In the comments it notes that the continuance was granted. Trial set for April 2010.

Assholes.

AuburnChopper 3.0 · « **Reply #7 on:** December 16, 2009, 05:53:50 PM »

That's the most ridiculous shit I've ever seen.

If they had stuck to the notion that certain witnesses, and others would not be able to attend, and that distractions were appearing that would ultimately make the case impossible to hear, then I could see it. However, putting the attorney's needs first, THEN the witness issues and what not, make this a clear fucking travesty.

Then, the "roll tide" line, #9, just fucking is ridiculous and seems to suggest, a little too personal of a relationship with Mr. Terry and the judge in this case.

Fuck them with a pitchfork. Fucking awful.

AWK · « **Reply #8 on:** December 16, 2009, 05:59:08 PM »

I would demand a change of Venue.

Token · « **Reply #9 on:** December 16, 2009, 05:59:50 PM »

Quote from: AuburnChopper on December 16, 2009, 05:53:50 PM

That's the most ridiculous poop I've ever seen.

If they had stuck to the notion that certain witnesses, and others would not be able to attend, and that distractions were appearing that would ultimately make the case impossible to hear, then I could see it. However, putting the attorney's needs first, THEN the witness issues and what not, make this a clear phuking travesty.

Then, the "roll tide" line, #9, just phuking is ridiculous and seems to suggest, a little too personal of a relationship with Mr. Terry and the judge in this case.

phuk them with a pitchfork. phuking awful.

You haven't been in court much. The attorney's needs are ALWAYS first. At least these stupid fucks were able to hash this out BEFORE the trial. Most of the time, the dumbasses wait until the first day of trial, (when the witnesses have taken off from work, and the transportation with security for the inmate have been provided) before they decide to continue at a later date.

Tiger Wench · « **Reply #10 on:** December 16, 2009, 06:18:26 PM »

In addition to the BSC/BCS misspell, of course I would catch the grammar error as well...

Quote

6. Attempts to resolve this conflict directly with the Plaintiffs has been unfruitful as the reply has been that they are for the other great team in this State who did not make the playoffs. Unfortunately, that response remains short-sighted as they may one day find themselves in the same position that the Defendant attorneys are in and, unfortunately, the BSC Title Game is no longer scheduled on January 1st, but has been moved to January 7th.

Then again, what else would you expect from someone with a degree from the bammer skool fer lawyerin'.

Kaos · « **Reply #11 on:** December 16, 2009, 06:51:05 PM »

Quote from: wesfau2 on December 16, 2009, 05:22:02 PM

By "we" I phuking hope you meant "bama idiots."

it makes the entire state look stupid. Their stink gets on us by geographic association.

The Prowler · « **Reply #12 on:** December 16, 2009, 07:07:07 PM »

Quote from: Kaos on December 16, 2009, 06:51:05 PM

it makes the entire state look stupid. Their stink gets on us by geographic association.

That's why I don't correct people, from outside the state, that think Auburn is in Georgia.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #13 on:** December 16, 2009, 07:57:49 PM »

BTW folks, this is some recycled shit that goes around almost every year. This one may be for real but I've seen these things for years in different states. There was one circulating in Texas when they played USC for the title. Oh and I had a January 2010 trial continued recently because the defense attorney had booked a snow skiing trip.

Townhallsavoy · « **Reply #14 on:** December 16, 2009, 08:03:31 PM »

Quote from: Harvey Birdman on December 16, 2009, 07:57:49 PM

BTW folks, this is some recycled shit that goes around almost every year. This one may be for real but I've seen these things for years in different states. There was one circulating in Texas when they played USC for the title. Oh and I had a January 2010 trial continued recently because the defense attorney had booked a snow skiing trip.

Sshhh. We're Bama bashing right now.

wesfau2 · « **Reply #15 on:** December 16, 2009, 08:35:14 PM »

Quote from: Harvey Birdman on December 16, 2009, 07:57:49 PM

BTW folks, this is some recycled shit that goes around almost every year. This one may be for real but I've seen these things for years in different states. There was one circulating in Texas when they played USC for the title. Oh and I had a January 2010 trial continued recently because the defense attorney had booked a snow skiing trip.

If it's fake, Mr. Terry might want to take some action.

MEMBER SEARCH

* The information below is for non-commercial use by visitors to this Web site.
* Copyright © 2009, Alabama State Bar.
* NOTE: Before sending sensitive or confidential documents via fax, verify the recipient's fax number for accuracy.
* NOTE: Before sending sensitive or confidential documents via e-mail, verify the recipient's address for accuracy.

Name:    Mr. Jon Batton Terry
Firm:    Bains & Terry
Address:    1813 3rd Ave., N.

Bessemer , AL 35020-0000
E-mail:    bainsjbt@bellsouth.net
Phone:    (205) 425-1606
Fax:    (205) 426-3200
Date Admitted:    September 22, 1977
Law School:    Cumberland, Samford University (AL)

Rq4q69JL&-8CNYdoz]http://alabar.org/directory/dirDisplay.cfm?URLId=7N5S0o0]Rq4q69JL&-8CNYdoz

AWK · « **Reply #16 on:** December 16, 2009, 08:44:46 PM »

It's real, the first thing I did was a docket check/AlaCourt.

Thrilla · « **Reply #17 on:** December 16, 2009, 09:06:50 PM »

Posted in the comments section, at 3:05 PM today:

Quote

Brad Byrne

Just checked Alacourt: Motion granted, trial moved to April 5, 2010. Wow.

No Huddle · « **Reply #18 on:** December 16, 2009, 09:52:43 PM »

Quote from: The Prowler on December 16, 2009, 07:07:07 PM

That's why I don't correct people, from outside the state, that think Auburn is in Georgia.

Snaggletiger · « **Reply #19 on:** December 16, 2009, 10:04:45 PM »

I don't doubt that it's real. I'm just sayin' that this happens all the time and isn't exclusive to this State. Is it any worse than the guy continuing my case because he wants to go snow skiing? I mean, that was in the body of his Motion. "I had already booked my trip to blah, blah, blah and taking my family and everyone's counting on it, blah, blah, blah."

Motion granted.